Multiple Family Members Took Advantage Of Her

Unfiltered Stories

Today on Unfiltered Stories, we meet Princess Hill who overcame a tough childhood marked by abuse from family members. Through resilience and support, she have worked towards healing and building a stronger future. Join us to hear how she transformed the hardships into a journey of recovery and hope.   #trauma #childhood #survivorstories   Follow Princess Hill here:  TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@el.deity.princey8  IG: https://www.instagram.com/el.deity.princey8  FB: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100094171267933  Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYMWNY24   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.   Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.   🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00My name is Princess Hill and my story is going to be about overcoming childhood sexual abuse.

00:06I was sexually assaulted from the time I was three until I was 13. I was sexually assaulted

00:11from a family member and then when I was about six or seven that's when I met my sister's father

00:16and my sister's father began to touch me. He began to perform oral sex on me and things like that

00:23and then when I turned about 10 or 11 is when he took my virginity. At first it was like

00:28a game

00:28because he was just spending the night over the house and then he started to live at the house.

00:33He came into my room he was like oh let's play a game so we started to play a game

00:37and he started

00:38to say that I was his girlfriend. This is when I was about seven so and then when I was

00:41about eight

00:42is when he started to perform oral sex on me. Then when I was about 10 or 11 is when

00:47he asked me if

00:48I was ready for him to basically take my virginity. He would say like you know we're going to be

00:52together forever. At 11 years old I just felt like it wasn't real love. I felt like I was

00:58just something for him to use or to just play around with. I was fearful of my environment

01:04so being sexually assaulted as well pushed me to when I would run away and when I was 13 years

01:10old

01:10I ran away probably like my last time and this is when my father came to pick me up and

01:15my father knew

01:16that I was being abused by my sister's father. He said okay I'm going to go hurt him. I'm going

01:23to

01:23protect you. He put on this whole thing like I was going to be protected and safe but that same

01:29night

01:29that he got me is the same night that he also molested me. What he did was he came into

01:34my room

01:34and he began to like pull my pants down. After he had a sexual encounter with me then he left

01:41me alone

01:41and the next morning like before the daylight came out he came into my room again and he proceeded to

01:46touch me again and when he touched me again he stopped and he said he's really sorry. He said well

01:52I thought that you were lying. I thought that you were still a virgin and then he said I'm just

01:56going to take you back to your mother's house or whatever. I can't take care of you and when I

02:02was

02:02in a car with him he looked at me and he said you do know that there are men who

02:06have children with

02:07their daughters and he said no one's ever going to love you the way that I will love you and

02:12he said

02:12when you get older you know we can be together and I can love you the right way and it

02:18just was it just

02:19really made me a confused child even more and and I just always like didn't want to go to school

02:26I

02:26hated being at school so I would be true and I wouldn't go and then one day one of the

02:32social

02:32workers noticed that I was not coming well one of the counselors noticed so they called a social

02:38worker so the social worker pulled me into the classroom well into a private room and she asked me

02:43why am I missing school and what is going on and at that time people in my family already knew

02:49I was

02:49being abused but everybody would say like I was a problem child I didn't think anybody cared or would

02:54believe me so I said well I mean I'll tell you but I don't think that you'll believe me either

02:59either

02:59so I told her what was going on and from that point she just went like full like be small

03:05she

03:06contacted the police she contacted the family members so at this time I was 13 the social worker

03:13got the detectives involved detective did believe me of course so what she did was first she went after

03:20my sister's father now my father he got me to basically tell them it didn't happen because he

03:27said well I know you're in an abusive environment he said I know you want to get emancipated and he

03:31said

03:32well if you tell them I didn't touch you or didn't do anything to you I will help you get

03:37out of the

03:38abusive environment that you're in help you get an apartment for some reason I thought that that was

03:42like the answer to my prayer so I said okay but then I got a call from my aunt so

03:47when she called me

03:48she was crying and she said you know that your dad also molested me too see I always thought I

03:53was the

03:53only one that these predators did things to but he molested children before he met me so when it came

04:00to

04:00my father and my that call with my aunt she specifically reminded me of my little sister

04:05that's through my father my little sister was probably six years old at the time so she said

04:09if you let him go what about your sister what about him sexually assaulting her and that made me really

04:15think that I can't just let him get away with that I have to speak up so I did tell

04:21the detectives that

04:21I was lying that he did do something to me I just took it back because I was trying to

04:26protect him

04:27but in the midst of all that the detectives went to my sister's father and when they went to my

04:32sister's father he immediately confessed he wrote a four-page letter about everything that he did to

04:38me and he in that letter he let like everyone know I was not acting out just to act out

04:42because it was

04:43so much gas lighting going on there was so much blame going on so that really I thought that would

04:49free me but it still didn't of course because I was still stuck in a cycle of abuse with my

04:53family

04:54when I ran away at 11 I was sneaking stay with the boy that was closer to my age in

04:58the neighborhood

04:59I would sneak he would sneak me in his house because he knew that my sister's father was sexually

05:04assaulting me and he even offered to go like fight him and protect me but because he was young and

05:11I

05:11thought that he would like not be able to win I just told him don't don't do that so he

05:16would just

05:16sneak me in the house with him but he had school so because he had school too I couldn't stay

05:22in his

05:22house so while he would go to school I would just walk around I lived in Philly so we have

05:27like the

05:27sub the the L the L train so I would just walk around and like sit under the L I

05:33met another man

05:34and this man said hey like what are you doing out here he said um you can come stay with

05:39me I'll adopt

05:40you and don't words like that to me when I was young when someone was saying they would adopt me

05:45or

05:45that they loved me it made me feel so special because I never had that type of love so I

05:51was

05:52thinking again like oh okay I can start a new life with with this person with this strange man

05:56he gave me some to sell so I can make some money I stayed there for about two weeks until

06:02I stayed

06:03there until I started to mess up the money because I felt like possibly somebody was giving me something

06:08because at a certain time of the night I would just fall asleep and when I would wake up the

06:13the drug that I had that the person gave to me to sell it would be like ran through it's

06:18like

06:18somebody like burnt like the tip of the bag or something to take out and then put something else

06:24in there and then the money was missing so it was a multitude of both things I was messing up

06:28the money

06:29and the missing so the woman's daughter she was she was um in her 20s of course and she said

06:36okay you

06:36have to go because you're messing up his money and this can look bad on you like this is not

06:41a game

06:42this is serious and she gave me like 30 to leave with so I left with that and at that

06:47point I went

06:47back to my home and when I went back to my home the stuff still stayed the same my sister's

06:52dad would

06:53just make it seem like I was the problem child I was the bad child and then I ended up

06:57pregnant but I

06:58was not pregnant by him I was pregnant by the boy that was in my neighborhood and I was very

07:04happy to

07:04be pregnant because I wanted to love something and give my child everything that I didn't have

07:09and I was just really excited to be a mom and the boy I was dating he was excited to

07:14be a dad

07:15I felt two different ways I felt one freedom from being abused and not being told what to do

07:21and being able to just walk around and be outside so I was homeschooled but I wasn't allowed to be

07:28outside either I wasn't allowed to play with the children and I ended up staying with like different

07:33people and during those times so for me it was freedom it was freedom from the people who were

07:38originally viewed of me the boy that was my age was the only person that didn't harm me or cared

07:43about me but his family tried to keep him from seeing me so which forced me to have to find

07:47other

07:48people's houses they live in or ask somebody can I stay with them so it was freedom but it was

07:53also

07:53fear because I didn't want to be raped again I didn't want to be told what to do again I

07:58didn't want

07:58somebody touching me I kept running into situations where men would grope me and touch me and do things to

08:03me that made me feel very uncomfortable after I began running away he and my boyfriend found out

08:08that I was pregnant it was something that we actually did plan we did plan it because of

08:13everything I was going through and because he also felt like he wasn't loved like properly so we both

08:19agreed that we would have a child and love our child so I was happy everyone in the neighborhood like

08:25heard and heard rumors that I was pregnant so when the word got back to my sister's father

08:31something else happened so someone kicked me in my stomach down the steps and when they kicked me in

08:36my stomach down the steps they purposely did that because people thought that it was my sister's

08:40father's baby and they did not want there to be any proof of him molesting me so that destroyed me

08:46because I pleaded with everyone and I told them that it was not his it was my boyfriend it was

08:52something that I created I went out in the world and found my own love and I created my own

08:56child

08:56having to be attacked then like blew the child it was so much blood coming out of me I was

09:03scared

09:03no one wanted to take me to the hospital because again they wanted to keep it all a secret so

09:07because

09:07I was not treated properly with medical care I just sat in pain and in blood and I also just

09:13had to

09:13deal with the fact that I was not going to be a mom like I really wanted to at 11

09:17years old I had

09:18this strong desire to be a mother because I truly wanted to just love something the way that I was

09:24not

09:24loved so my boyfriend was basically torn apart from me so me and him were not allowed to speak

09:29to each other anymore so he went on and created a new life of course he was young so I

09:35didn't go back

09:36to public school until I was 12 going on 13 so when I went back to public school I would

09:45hear about him

09:46dating another girl and that didn't hurt my feelings but I just I just let it go and I just

09:51continued on focusing on just trying to get out the house I was in I didn't want to go to

09:57school

09:57I didn't want to do any of the things I was doing the only thing I wanted to do was

10:01figure out a way

10:02to create an income or to get a job when I was 13 I moved in with my father and

10:07the first night I

10:08stayed with him is the first night that he sexually assaulted me we were both watching the movie it was

10:13just me and him in the room but in my thinking I felt like okay this is my dad so

10:18my dad would never

10:19harm me because he already knew what my sister's dad did to me so we were just watching a regular

10:24kids movie and then I fell asleep and I woke up in the middle of the night and he was

10:29grinding on me

10:30and he pulled down my pants and he proceeded to sexually assault me and from that point on I got

10:35up and I went into my little sister's room she was not there at that time it was just his

10:41wife and

10:41her son there so my sister's room was free so I went in there to lay down because I couldn't

10:47believe

10:47like what just happened I had to process that because to me at that time in my life people always

10:53told me I looked just like him I was his twin it felt really sick to me so I stayed

10:58in that room

10:59and then before the dawn before like daylight came up he came into the room again and he proceeded to

11:04put his fingers inside of me and when he did that he stopped himself and he said I'm really sorry

11:09and he said I thought that you were I didn't know that you was really being sexually assaulted

11:14he said I didn't know that that was really going on with you and I apologize and I won't do

11:18that

11:18again when daylight came up we ate breakfast like everything was normal and then he said I can't I

11:24can't take care of you he said I have to take you back basically to where my stepdad lived he

11:28said I'm

11:29going to take you back there because I can't take care of you and I said well you said I

11:33could stay

11:34here and he said well you can't stay here and I'm just going to be a part of your life

11:38I'm going to

11:39help you and you're going to get emancipated you want to get your own place so as he's driving me

11:44back to where my stepdad lives as he's driving me back he tells me that you do know men have

11:51children

11:51with their daughters and then he proceeded to say no other man is going to love you the way that

11:56I'm

11:57going to love you so when you are an adult you are basically to be with me like we're basically

12:02going

12:02to be together so it was just weird because by him telling me that it truly just it messed up

12:07a lot

12:07of things for me it took me a very very long time to heal and it only took me a

12:13long time to heal

12:14because I was still involved in a cycle of abuse so since I was nine years old I was always

12:19being

12:19told that I had to leave since I was nine years old I was always being told to find somewhere

12:24else to go

12:24pack your things and get out so nine ten twelve fifteen sixteen all these different ages I'm packing my

12:34things in a plastic bag and I'm taking the bag and I'm going to go stay with a friend or

12:40outside I'm

12:42just going to go stay somewhere so with that being said my whole entire life I was told to get

12:48out

12:48so the very last time that I was told to get out was the last time I never went back

12:54when I was told to

12:55leave again at 18 I went back for a little bit but then when I turned 20 years old and

13:00I was told

13:01I have to leave again I promised myself I would never ever go through that again because I deserve

13:06better so I started to get therapy about 19 so between 18 and 20 is when I started to develop

13:13my strength to go ahead and go out on a world on my own but I started to get therapy

13:18at about 19 years

13:19old so therapy helped me to express what I was going through I was able to just sit and talk

13:25about it

13:26and I was able to be angry or ruminate or whatever it is I had to do to get it

13:31out my therapist was

13:32there to hear me out and listen to me from all those different things and when I was 20 years

13:36old

13:37throughout my development throughout my childhood I gained so much weight and when I was 20 years old

13:41I moved into my very first apartment and when I moved into my very first apartment

13:46it was the most scariest thing but yet the most freeing thing I was so happy but fear always

13:53creaked in because I was always having housing insecurities I was always dealing with am I

13:57going to have a home homeless I was always dealing with these things so me having this apartment it

14:03was nice but all I kept doing was thinking about I'm going to be evicted I'm going to be kicked

14:08out

14:09and I only stayed at this apartment for two years and within this two years I decided to start losing

14:13weight I decided to exercise I applied for school so within this two years I did get faced with eviction

14:20twice and the very last eviction I couldn't fight it so I just went and I stayed in the room

14:27with my

14:28aunt until I knew if I was going to school or not well I was already accepted for school but

14:32until I

14:33knew my move-in date and things like that because I was homeless at that point so even though like

14:39my

14:39aunt let me stay in her room but I still she said that was just temporary she said I couldn't

14:43stay there

14:44so when I was in therapy at 19 years old I learned so many different things I learned that I

14:49did have

14:50depression and this is this is what I'm saying is in the past now during that time my therapist

14:55educated me on my depression my anxiety um my eating habits my self-esteem and also me being

15:06re-victimized because I was with an abusive partner I was with an addict he would also hit me he

15:12would

15:12just try to break me down so hard because he also knew what I was going through so my therapist

15:17was a reflection to show me that I am repeating these patterns I am involving myself with people

15:24who are a reflection of the trauma that I have experienced and my therapist and having that

15:30therapy let me sit down and actually sit with myself to come to grips that I have the choice and

15:36even though it's hard at first it'll be hard to walk away but once you start and once you get

15:42the

15:42momentum it gets easier so once I decide to break up with my ex the my ex and it once

15:51I decided to

15:51leave him alone once I decided to focus on myself my life began to get better day by day piece

15:58by piece

15:59yeah so when you are sexually assaulted during your childhood and I really like I really love Freud

16:06Freud is like someone who I truly look up to and he talks about children and their erogenous zones and

16:12things like that sex can either be pleasurable or it can be a horrible experience and because I went

16:19through all this type of abuse as a child now when I am 18 years old now that I'm a

16:25young adult out in

16:26the world I had issues with hurt in a personal relationship I had issues with with sex I had issues

16:33with PTSD

16:34with being triggered and things like that I developed all these different issues from the abuse that it

16:42took a long time for me to come to grips with it and for me to begin to purge myself

16:47and for me to

16:48begin to heal myself because I continue to attract partners who were abusive towards me who were toxic

16:54towards me and it's a cycle of abuse and the ACES score states that the ACES stands for adverse childhood

17:01experiences what a child goes through you know physical sexual emotional abuse these things are

17:0650 likely to be re-victimized and come up again in their life as an adult and that's that science

17:14and

17:15those statistics was showing in my life and the actions and the things that I was actually doing

17:19my anger I had anger suicidal I attempted suicide before so I constantly went through these spells and

17:27these cycles of just going from highs to lows I was processing these things with my therapist I would

17:34ruminate a lot I would constantly tell her exactly what a person did to me and how I felt and

17:41she would

17:42constantly remind me she would let me she would hear me out and let me express myself but I could

17:48not

17:48distinguish personality disorders at that time so when I'm processing processing these things with my

17:54therapist I'm constantly telling her how I would treat people what I would do to people I would

18:00never abuse my child or I would never do this and it would just be a ruminating cycle until one

18:05day she

18:06explained to me she really explained like what a narcissist is and what you know those type of

18:12personalities orders are by just using a restaurant she just used basically a restaurant as an example to

18:18me to help me understand the fact that when people want something or if you want something if you're

18:24going somewhere you're excited to get it but this person is basically just dangling it in front of

18:28your face she expressed to me and showed me that me being a child and me wanting love me reaching

18:34for

18:35that love me begging for that love it was normal but the people that I was begging for it from

18:40and begging

18:41for change from they were never going to give me that love as as a restaurant if you go there

18:45and you want

18:46something you want a cheesecake or whatever and you see it's on the menu but they tell you we don't

18:51have it and

18:51you go back every day and they still tell you they don't have it it's the same thing I see

18:55these people I see

18:56these parents I see that you're supposed to love me you're supposed to protect me and every day I'm asking

19:01them why don't you do this then I'm going to my therapist and she's showing me that no matter how

19:07many times you

19:07ask and say why it's not going to change you can stay in that same cycle or you can just

19:12put it down and move on and that's

19:14what I had to do because if I didn't put it down I would have still kept going in circles

19:19just asking

19:20them why like what is wrong with me for you for what is wrong with me for me to have

19:25both of my parents

19:26you know treat me like that what is what what did I do for me to have to experience both

19:32sides of the

19:33fence as a as a bad dealing like I had I was I felt like at the time I was

19:39just dealt card that was

19:41not fair I just felt like I was not able to live a normal life like other children my age

19:47or other

19:47teenagers my age other young adults had that support even when so I don't want to go on but

19:52that's how I felt at the time I graduated college I had my master's degree in clinical social work

19:58right now I am a clinical counselor and I'm also I'm also an author I just wrote a book I

20:04just wrote a

20:05trauma children's book but we all have trauma well everyone who has an inner child and who has

20:10experienced trauma my book is for for you so that way you can know that you're not alone and I'm

20:16also a coach so I'm an author I am a clinical counselor and I'm also a coach to help people

20:23get to exactly where they want to be because I have also done those steps and I know what it's

20:28like to

20:28go through different things I wrote this book it's called it's called trauma that metamorphosis

20:33into a butterfly this is for any child that has already been abused sexually verbally physically

20:41emotionally any neglect but also we all have an inner child so even though it's a children's book

20:46it's for anyone who has experienced trauma and it is available on Amazon I would like to say to all

20:53the survivors out here if you have experienced any trauma it's not the end of your story and you can

21:00you can metamorphose your trauma and you can heal healing is a lifelong journey there's going to be

21:05constantly things that pop up that's new that you want to make better or fix or whatever and that's fine

21:12but far as the deep-rooted pain when you speak about it you release it if you take it to

21:17your grave if you

21:18never talk about it it stays there within you and it comes up in places when you least expect it

21:24when you

21:25suppress something is going to still come up so I would say to all the survivors out there don't be

21:30afraid don't let anyone silence you because that's the type of world we live in people don't want you

21:35to speak up about what you've gone through but I would say speak about it the more you speak about

21:39it

21:39the more you're going to release it and you're healing yourself you're doing two things you're

21:43healing yourself but then you're showing other people who might look up to you who might have had a

21:47similar experience they might hear that you've gone through that and you give them the courage now

21:52to go speak about their own pain and for them to know I'm not alone because sometimes we think

21:57we're alone that's how I felt when I was a kid I felt like I was the only one going

22:01through this

22:01but you're never the only one the only thing I would like the last thing I would like to discuss

22:05is because like I stated two of my abusers were were in prison one abuser was let go there's a

22:13law

22:13that states that before an abuser is let go the victim that we are not victims we are victors

22:19but the victim is able to testify and speak their truth about the situation I'm saying this because

22:25one of my abusers was let go but my father is still in prison and I had to go to

22:31court last year

22:32just to testify again so I just want to say this that if you are dealing with having your abusers

22:38come

22:38out or having to still go through this court process I would also say speak to someone about

22:43that get some kind of help because that's another level of fear because at first for me it was very

22:48fearful to know that oh he's out I have one out and one in and what if that one comes

22:53out next

22:54so I lived in a place of fear for a while around that but it's nothing to be afraid of

22:58because there

22:59are laws to protect you there are people to help you so just reach out and see what the guidelines

23:04are

23:05and yeah I just want to say that and just educate yourself around that reparenting yourself will give

23:10you back those same energies of having you know a mother a father whatever it is that you may have

23:15lacked in your childhood you can pour that energy back into yourself because your brain does not know

23:20what is happening in real life and what is fake so you can visualize anything you want heal yourself

23:26and know that you can be everything that you wanted to be or everything that you wished you had

23:32you can be that for someone else but ultimately you could be that for yourself first be your first

23:38be your be your own victorious lover of yourself and when you love yourself when you love yourself

23:43fully the universe God whatever you believe in will give you that reflection so my biggest thing to

23:51all the survivors is truly find a way to love yourself it's the most freeing thing you will ever experience

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