- 6 hours ago
- #realitycentralusa
#
#RealityCentralUSA
"If you enjoyed this video and want to support our team by helping us fund our late-night coffee needs, please donate via PayPal! ☕️
A small act – a big impact. Thank you all so much! ❤️"
Donate at: [https://www.paypal.me/ngaxo]
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:22Welcome to a very special edition of previously unseen clips from series 19
00:29of Would I Lie To You.
01:02We begin with round one, Home Truths, where our panellists read out a statement from the
01:06card in front of them.
01:07To make things harder, they've never seen the card before.
01:10They have no idea what they'll be faced with.
01:12It's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction.
01:16Mark, you're first up tonight.
01:19Ahem.
01:19Once, during a school football match, I was sent off for a two-footed tackle on Liam Gallagher.
01:29These two?
01:30Wow.
01:31When was this?
01:31Yes.
01:32It was in the late 80s.
01:35What's a two-footed tackle?
01:37It's...
01:39It is basically...
01:41Do it on Rob.
01:42Rather than...
01:44You're going like that.
01:46Not sort of waist type, but like ankle.
01:50What sort of age were you in the late 80s, if you don't mind me asking?
01:53I was 14, 15.
01:55So you're the same age as Liam Gallagher?
01:57Yes.
01:58Really?
01:59Yeah.
02:02Because one of you looks much older.
02:04Yeah.
02:05He's had a life of much more drink and drugs, so that's why.
02:09I don't think that's what he was saying.
02:12That's not old.
02:14Were you at the same school?
02:16At a different school?
02:16No, we were at different schools.
02:19Right.
02:19What was your school called?
02:20Manchester Grammar School.
02:22Where was Liam?
02:23He wasn't at Grammar School, was he?
02:26Burnage High School.
02:27You got sent off, did he?
02:28Was he injured?
02:29No, I didn't get...
02:29You didn't...
02:30You didn't really get sent off in schools football in the 80s.
02:34Oh, sorry.
02:34I thought you said you were sent off, no?
02:35I thought you said you were sent off, yeah.
02:36Oh, I was sent off, yeah.
02:38LAUGHTER
02:42No, no, no, no, no.
02:43No, hang on, hang on, hang on.
02:44Hang on, hang on.
02:45This is going to be interesting.
02:47What, Mark?
02:48Because...
02:49Because what?
02:50Back then, in school football, you were just told to leave the pitch
02:54rather than an officious...
02:56I think that's what sending off is.
02:57Yeah, but...
02:58You could still bring someone else on.
03:00Oh, they let you replace you.
03:02And how did he react?
03:04He...
03:04He tried to hit me.
03:05Did he?
03:06Yeah.
03:07What, wouldn't you if I two-footed you?
03:10I wouldn't.
03:11No.
03:12I would go to an authority figure...
03:14Right.
03:15...and seek vengeance through that route.
03:18So how come Liam wasn't sent off for retaliation?
03:21Oh.
03:21Because they only had 11 players and therefore he couldn't be replaced.
03:26So in school football, if you only had 11 players available,
03:29they could do anything.
03:30Yeah, no, yeah.
03:31One of them's done a murder.
03:32Yeah, but we can't have them down to ten men.
03:35We won't have a game.
03:37Like, the whole of the Burnage team would have been scallywax.
03:40No, that's very...
03:42This is Burnage.
03:42That's very unfair to Burnage, Bob.
03:45That's...
03:45In those days?
03:45Particularly when I still live in the area.
03:48LAUGHTER
03:51At that age, did he have a reputation?
03:55Because he's got that swagger and everything.
03:56Not after I two-footed him, no.
03:59Did he play in a coat?
04:01LAUGHTER
04:03With his hood up.
04:05He, you're a big football fan.
04:07I'm wondering if you've had any encounters with illustrious opponents.
04:13Oh.
04:13If you've gone in hard on anyone.
04:15Oh, Bob.
04:16Bob Mortimer.
04:16Bob Mortimer.
04:17Bill Duffy from the band The Cult.
04:20Yes.
04:20I tackled him.
04:21I took him out.
04:22This is incredible.
04:24Everyone's at it.
04:25They did.
04:26Tell him about the time that you tripped up Alan Jones in a lacrosse game.
04:30LAUGHTER
04:36So, what are we thinking?
04:37Diane, what do you make of this?
04:39Oh, I actually think it's a truth.
04:43Bob, I think it's true.
04:45You think it's true?
04:45I don't know, yeah.
04:46Yeah.
04:46There's always a sign on this show that something isn't the truth.
04:49And that's when someone's telling the story, they go...
04:53LAUGHTER
04:55He may be giving you a double bluff.
04:57I don't know, how old's Liam Gallagher?
05:00I didn't know who he was for a long time with that conversation, actually.
05:04You didn't know who Liam Gallagher was?
05:06No, I didn't.
05:07You must be doing a lot of Googling on Strictly.
05:09I'm probably...
05:09I'm not about to do.
05:11Yes.
05:12If you don't know Liam Gallagher...
05:15OK, well, my team say it's true, so we'll go true.
05:18Right, Mark.
05:19Truth or lie?
05:21It was...
05:24..a lie.
05:24LAUGHTER
05:30Right, Yinka, you're next.
05:35I once bunked off work but got busted when I was spotted on TV.
05:39Right, David's team.
05:40What was the work and what was the TV?
05:43I used to work at a hotel as a hostess in the restaurant,
05:49greeting restaurant people.
05:52And, um...
05:54Let's call them diners.
05:56LAUGHTER
05:57I knew there was a reason he was sitting here.
05:59LAUGHTER
06:00And, basically, my best friend's sister was in Big Brother.
06:09And she was up for eviction.
06:11And I wanted to go to the eviction, so I went.
06:15When would this have been, Yinka?
06:182010?
06:18And you are a hostess at a hotel.
06:23Swanky?
06:23Knightsbridge.
06:24No, you say hostess.
06:26Ooh.
06:26What you described sounded more to me like a maitre d'.
06:29But I'm from Peckham.
06:32LAUGHTER
06:34Imagine Lee has done well enough to visit this hotel of yours.
06:39How do you deal with someone like him coming into your hotel?
06:42Oh, yeah.
06:43I've got a reservation.
06:45Name?
06:45No, I mean your tablecloths are dirty.
06:48LAUGHTER
06:50Um...
06:51Lee Mack.
06:52Table for one?
06:53Dining alone?
06:54Yes, she's left me.
06:56LAUGHTER
06:57We have one right by the toilet for you, sir.
07:01LAUGHTER
07:01See, I would like to say, how dare you, but that's actually quite handy.
07:05LAUGHTER
07:07So, what happened then?
07:09So, I was working in the evening.
07:10Yeah.
07:10And I said, well, I can't come to the eviction
07:14because I'm at work.
07:16And they were like, these are the friends.
07:18Come on, you have to come, you have to come.
07:20So, I was texting during my break.
07:22OK, you have to think of some sort of emergency
07:24in order for me to get off of work.
07:26Right.
07:27So, then, my best friend's other sister
07:30called up my workplace
07:32and told them that my house was being burgled.
07:35LAUGHTER
07:35Because you wouldn't phone the police, would you?
07:37I don't... I wasn't the one...
07:39There's a burglary. Quick, phone a random restaurant.
07:40Yeah.
07:41LAUGHTER
07:42Yeah.
07:43How did she know it was currently being burgled?
07:45Well, I didn't answer the phone, so I don't know.
07:46Yeah.
07:47Sorry, did you just say, how did she know
07:48it was currently being burgled?
07:49Yeah.
07:50It wasn't.
07:52LAUGHTER
07:54I think...
07:54Are you...
07:55Are you actually following this?
07:57LAUGHTER
07:58So, my manager came up to me...
07:59Yeah.
08:00..and said, your house is being burgled.
08:01Yeah.
08:01Yeah, yeah.
08:02So, I said, I've got to go!
08:03So, then, I went outside, my friends were in the car,
08:06and then off to Boreham would be waiting.
08:07Oh, they were in the car waiting for you?
08:09Yeah, in a little...
08:09Does this story end with you saying to the boss,
08:11you're not going to believe who burgled it, Davina McCaw.
08:14LAUGHTER
08:15So, you got in the car...
08:17We went to the eviction.
08:18You went to the eviction.
08:19And then I...
08:20They made me a sign.
08:22I think it was John.
08:23Get John out!
08:24So, I'm saying, get him out!
08:26Yay!
08:27Save my friend from the eviction.
08:29So, you got another shift then the next day.
08:32Yeah, Saturday morning.
08:33What happens?
08:34So, I've gone into work, and it was so weird,
08:36because as I'm walking through the corridor,
08:38everyone's asking me how my house was,
08:39and I'm like, yeah, fine, yours?
08:40Because, obviously, I forgot.
08:43LAUGHTER
08:43My house wasn't really burgled.
08:45Yeah.
08:45And then, so, my manager called me into the office
08:49and was like, what happened yesterday?
08:51And I was like, oh, well, you know that they...
08:52they took everything.
08:54Yeah.
08:54And then he pressed play on the telly.
08:56LAUGHTER
08:57And I was...
08:58One of those tellies with play on, yeah?
08:59Yeah, because he must have recorded it on demand or something.
09:02Oh, my gosh, this is horrible.
09:03Yeah.
09:03This is a good song.
09:04You're from my team!
09:05I know, I'm gripped by the story.
09:06LAUGHTER
09:07I'm genuinely gripped by the story.
09:09So, then, I just saw myself...
09:12RAAAARGH!
09:13With me sign!
09:14What happens next?
09:15I was like, I'll just get my stuff.
09:17You immediately accepted a...
09:20A dismissal.
09:21Yeah, because...
09:21You didn't say, I'm sorry, can I still work here?
09:24But I wasn't sorry.
09:25You weren't sorry.
09:25No, I'll do it again.
09:27LAUGHTER
09:28What do you think?
09:29Could this be true?
09:30I have one thing that doesn't add up.
09:33Wow, Columbo's in town.
09:34LAUGHTER
09:36Just one more question.
09:37Oh, my God.
09:38OK, so your boss had a TV in the office?
09:42Yeah.
09:42Oh, they did.
09:44LAUGHTER
09:47Thanks, Mr Columbo, I'll let you know.
09:49LAUGHTER
09:51I think we're going to go true.
09:52True.
09:52They think it's true.
09:54Yinka, was it true or was it a lie?
09:56It is...
09:57true.
09:58Yeah!
09:59APPLAUSE
10:04Alistair.
10:06My middle name has three consecutive O's in it.
10:12Yours as well?
10:16No.
10:19No.
10:19No.
10:20No.
10:20I don't think...
10:21There's a word with three consecutive O's.
10:22Moo-sh.
10:23What about, er...
10:26Moo...
10:26Like a really long moo?
10:28Like someone's having a suckle on the udder because they've been a good boy.
10:32LAUGHTER
10:34LAUGHTER
10:40OK, so what's your middle name?
10:44Owen.
10:45Now, I'm not a great speller, but even I know that is traditionally spelled O-W-E-N, isn't it?
10:51This is a rare Gaelic spelling, Scots Gaelic spelling of the name Owen.
10:56Oh, have you got Gaelic blood?
10:57Yeah.
10:58I didn't know.
11:00How do you spell Owen?
11:02O-O-O...
11:05I want to be like you!
11:07LAUGHTER
11:08E-I-N.
11:10Owen.
11:11Owen?
11:12And that's an original Gaelic spelling of what we now know as Owen?
11:17Yes, it was a spoken language rather than a written language, and in being transcribed
11:20into Latin characters there's a lot of variation.
11:23Right.
11:23But how are you supposed to pronounce it?
11:25Owen.
11:25You're actually supposed to say
11:28That is great if you I might because I've got two E's I might so call myself Lee
11:34It would be if you can imagine it on you know that oh you're on the moors you're on the
11:38islands
11:39It's Owen a lot more time on their hands in history
11:43Take as long as you like saying someone's name. Mm-hmm. That was just that's the way of killing a
11:48really boring weekend
11:52What do you think Josie is he telling the truth I think it's a damn right lie
11:58What are you thinking Joe oh when
12:05No, I don't think it's you don't think it's true Josie doesn't think it's truly
12:08Well, I don't want to disagree with my team, but I think it's true. Have you ever seen three consecutive
12:13O's?
12:14Yes, well some spaghetti hoops
12:19That's two
12:29The foodstuffs
12:41What's it gonna be we'll say it's a lie then okay, they think it's a lie Alistair
12:46Was it a lie or were you in fact telling the truth? I was telling
12:57Jason oh I
13:01Was once furious when a theatre performance was ruined by the ringing of a mobile phone
13:07David's team
13:08What was the play the play was an Irish play about Northern Ireland and who were you in it with?
13:14Irish people
13:16Do you remember anything?
13:17There was a Sean
13:19Oh, yeah, you know Brian
13:25Brian
13:26Dermot
13:29So what happened the end of the play was a big silence and and a phone rang
13:35This is a long time ago, so the phones were on ascending rings
13:38can you remember the ring tone icon
13:41But it would have been a Nokia was back in the pre-iPhone
13:43So was it like a...
13:45HE SINGS
13:45HE SINGS
13:48Or was it a sort of...
13:50HE SINGS
13:53LAUGHTER
13:56Just one more time.
13:59One more time.
13:59One more time.
14:00HE SINGS
14:02Yeah, and the other one?
14:03HE SINGS
14:05No, it wasn't either of those.
14:07LAUGHTER
14:11The terrible thing is, I was sitting there thinking,
14:14we've earned this silence, this is a tense play,
14:16two-hour play, and I was about to turn around
14:18and say to the audience,
14:20somebody switched that off, and I realised,
14:22it was in my pocket.
14:24It was my phone. I know!
14:26I know!
14:27I had brought my phone in my pocket on stage
14:30for a play set in the 1970s
14:32when they didn't have phones.
14:33What did you do, Jason? It's a hell of a twist.
14:36The way you've told the story...
14:37I would say, honestly, I enjoyed White Lotus.
14:40This is better.
14:41LAUGHTER
14:42So I took it out of my pocket, I went...
14:45You've not even been invented yet!
14:47That's right.
14:49LAUGHTER
14:50APPLAUSE
14:54And then I tried to avoid eye contact with the rest of the cast,
14:58and anybody in the theatre for the next 30-odd years.
15:02So if you actually answered the phone...
15:05I had to stop it ringing.
15:06Forget the anachronism, I'll use it.
15:08This character is getting a phone call.
15:10Let me ask you, what would you have done?
15:12I would have brought my phone on the stage.
15:15I think...
15:16Because I respect the theatre too much.
15:18LAUGHTER
15:23Right, David's team, what are you thinking?
15:25You see, I think he's made it more vague than he needed to.
15:28Yeah.
15:28Which is what makes me think it's true.
15:30Yeah, yeah.
15:31But he's agreeing with us, and that worries me now.
15:35LAUGHTER
15:35It's like we're falling into his trap.
15:37Yeah.
15:37But you don't mind falling into Jason Isaac's trap.
15:40I think that's OK.
15:41What do you think?
15:42I think it's true.
15:43I think we're going to say true.
15:44They all think that it is true, Jason.
15:47You suckers.
15:47Was it true or...?
15:48Because it was, in fact, true.
15:50LAUGHTER
15:55It's Bob.
15:57Here we go.
15:59LAUGHTER
15:59Because I drive a lot,
16:01I've recently had one of the seats removed from my car
16:05and a toilet installed...
16:09..in its place.
16:10So which seat have you had removed?
16:12The rear passenger seat.
16:15So it's diagonally behind you...
16:17Yes.
16:18..as you drive.
16:19Yeah.
16:19And what's the flushing situation?
16:22There's no flushing, it's a bucket.
16:25LAUGHTER
16:35I've got to be straight up.
16:37So, what are you saying?
16:40Just to clarify, it's...
16:43LAUGHTER
16:45I've got a bucket...
16:46I've got a bucket on you,
16:47and I've got a bucket on the back seat of you.
16:50LAUGHTER
16:54A bucket for number two and a welly for number one!
16:59LAUGHTER
17:00No, I was quite proud of it,
17:02cos the particular car I've got has a bench seat,
17:06but it splits two thirds,
17:07and the last third, when you lift it up,
17:10there is just a void.
17:11So I popped a bucket in the void.
17:14LAUGHTER
17:14And the seat is still there?
17:16If you came in my car, you'd be sat on the toilet,
17:18you'd have no idea, and I'd be like...
17:21LAUGHTER
17:22Because the seat is still there?
17:25At your leisure, sir?
17:27LAUGHTER
17:28And look at it.
17:29It's not a bad idea.
17:32LAUGHTER
17:32And when I go to Middlesbrough,
17:34I've got a long journey.
17:35I don't like to stop.
17:38Erm...
17:38Surely upon...
17:39Oh, you have to stop.
17:40LAUGHTER
17:41How long do you write off?
17:42No, no.
17:44LAUGHTER
17:46LAUGHTER
17:48You just wait for a long light.
17:51LAUGHTER
17:51Right, it's time for a guest.
17:54What's your team going to say, David?
17:56It's probably a lie.
17:57We think it's probably a lie.
17:59But they think it's a lie.
18:00Was it a lie, or were you telling the truth?
18:03I was telling...
18:05A lie.
18:06LAUGHTER
18:08APPLAUSE
18:11It's Joe.
18:13The other day, I gave my daughter £10 to pass me a bottle of wine from the fridge,
18:19because I couldn't be bothered to get up from the kitchen table.
18:23LAUGHTER
18:23Don't you?
18:24LAUGHTER
18:26How far from the fridge are you?
18:29About three metres.
18:32LAUGHTER
18:33And was your daughter in the room as well, or did you text her?
18:37LAUGHTER
18:38No, she was down on the coast.
18:41LAUGHTER
18:43LAUGHTER
18:43No, she was in the room.
18:45And what were you doing in the room?
18:47Just starting to get withdrawal symptoms.
18:50LAUGHTER
18:52What time of day was it?
18:54Breakfast?
18:55LAUGHTER
18:56No, it was respectable.
18:59Respectable?
19:00Four.
19:00Oh, OK.
19:01So, describe the conversation.
19:03I said, oh, I really fancy a glass of wine.
19:07Mm-hm.
19:07And so my daughter just looked at me, like,
19:10well, go and get one, you old hag.
19:12LAUGHTER
19:13And, erm, she's a bit arsy, to be honest.
19:16Mm.
19:17I don't know where that came from.
19:19LAUGHTER
19:20She's like my husband.
19:23And, erm...
19:23How old is she, Joe?
19:24She's 22.
19:26Talk us through the payment process.
19:27How did you come to the £10?
19:29So we worked our way up.
19:31We went through, kind of, three quid, then to a fiver.
19:34And then when it got to £10,
19:36she went and quietly got the wine.
19:38And that's why I've got a Scottish £10 note saved.
19:42LAUGHTER
19:44And was it red or white, Joe?
19:46Er, red.
19:48So why was it in the fridge, you barbarian?
19:51LAUGHTER
19:53You can get children, Robyn.
19:56APPLAUSE
20:00Because I like it that way.
20:02I keep white wine in the oven, obviously.
20:06LAUGHTER
20:07So, what are you thinking, then?
20:09I think you don't keep red wine in the fridge.
20:11There is some red wines you chill.
20:13You barbarian!
20:15Yes.
20:15Was it...
20:16Was it that sort of red wine?
20:18I've absolutely no idea, David.
20:21LAUGHTER
20:22We're going to go lie.
20:23They're saying it's a lie.
20:24That's all we're saying.
20:25Was it a lie or were you telling the truth?
20:27It was...
20:28A lie!
20:29Oh!
20:30APPLAUSE
20:32APPLAUSE
20:34It's Diane.
20:36To ensure my Strictly dancers go well, I play out the entire performance in the loo before the show.
20:46David's team.
20:47When you say play out the whole performance, what does that involve?
20:51Do you do the dance in the loo?
20:54I do everything.
20:55How could you do the dance while being on the loo?
20:58In the loo or on, like, the top of the show, like, walk out, wave.
21:04Oh, really?
21:05I go down the stairs.
21:06Yeah.
21:06That's interesting.
21:07So it starts for you.
21:09And...
21:10Yeah.
21:10And out you come.
21:17Yeah, that looks like it takes practice.
21:19And then...
21:21Then you go up.
21:23Yeah.
21:23And then you go down again.
21:26And then you're on in ten seconds.
21:29Oh.
21:30Ten.
21:31Nine.
21:31Nine.
21:35One.
21:37Blast off!
21:39And then I'll do the dance.
21:45So tell me about when you're visualising your encounter with the judges.
21:51Yeah.
21:51So Chris is my partner.
21:52Yes.
21:53And I'm like, oh, my God, Chris, we did so good.
21:56Why don't you imagine Lee is your partner?
21:58Oh, Lee!
22:00Oh, my God, that wasn't as good as we thought, but it's okay.
22:04LAUGHTER
22:05We can do better next time.
22:09Jamelia, what are you thinking?
22:10Do you know what?
22:11I actually think this one could be true.
22:13The only thing...
22:15I just wonder why you'd do it in the loo, and also why you wouldn't do it with your partner.
22:21Oh, good questions.
22:23Um...
22:25Well, in the loo, because I can go almost like a demon's kind of come inside of me, so I
22:31don't like to show that off too much.
22:34LAUGHTER
22:35But I didn't really include Chris again, because he doesn't believe in it.
22:40But if he did, you know, I probably wouldn't have done it in the toilet with him, but we could
22:45have found...
22:45Now that is the trailer!
22:47LAUGHTER
22:50David, what do you think?
22:51I think this is true.
22:52OK, they think it's true.
22:54Diane, was it true or was it a lie?
22:56It is indeed...
22:58True!
23:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:05It's...
23:06Giles.
23:07Oh.
23:09I still get royalties for a song I co-wrote that was a big hit in Italy in 1987.
23:18Lee?
23:19OK.
23:20Who performed it?
23:21A very amusing Italian entertainer who was called Piccolo Marina.
23:28Is that a man or a woman?
23:30We could never decide.
23:32LAUGHTER
23:33How did this come about then, Giles?
23:36I'm a friend of Tim Rice, the lyricist.
23:39Yes.
23:39We were out one evening and I had difficulty in paying for my share of the meal.
23:46Well, hang on, hang on.
23:47In 1987, you were a very well-known TV personality.
23:52Yes.
23:52So why were you struggling to pay for half your dinner?
23:54I was going to become a Member of Parliament and I therefore gave up all my other interests.
23:58My income dropped considerably.
24:00Tim said, what you need to do is write a hit song.
24:05So...
24:05There we are, problem solved.
24:07LAUGHTER
24:08Did you stand for election?
24:09Yes, I was elected, I was a Member of Parliament until the people spoke.
24:14LAUGHTER
24:16By the time I lost my seat, by then I knew I had contempt for my constituents.
24:21It just came as a bit of a shock to find the feeling was entirely mutual.
24:25LAUGHTER
24:26The point was, I was having supper with Tim Rice.
24:30I saw the fortune that he had made out of putting a few words together.
24:34LAUGHTER
24:35So, I actually wrote the song.
24:38It was about Pinocchio.
24:39And the song was called, I Cannot Tell a Lie.
24:42And we were in Venice, Michelle and I, we were in a lovely restaurant and she said,
24:48you know, we've been married quite a while now, do you still love me?
24:51And I said, do I still love you?
24:54I'm Pinocchio, I Cannot Tell a Lie.
24:56And I began singing the song.
24:58And she began divorce proceedings.
25:01LAUGHTER
25:02I'm singing the song too loudly.
25:04Michelle's going, shh, shh, please.
25:05I'm saying, no, it's a lovely song.
25:07Ah, Pinocchio, I Cannot Tell a Lie.
25:09I Cannot Tell a Lie.
25:11Oh, no, I Cannot Tell a Lie.
25:13Then the chorus comes in, what about your nose?
25:16What about your nose?
25:17It was, it drows, but I Cannot Tell a Lie.
25:20I Cannot Tell a Lie.
25:21I am Pinocchio.
25:23It's all right.
25:25APPLAUSE
25:29I have to tell you...
25:31You know what's really annoying?
25:32No, wait for this, mate.
25:34I have to tell you...
25:36I have to tell you, that is exactly the reaction we got.
25:40And somebody came out from another table and said, lovely song.
25:44I am composer.
25:46I would like to take your song and put it on Italian television.
25:50No!
25:51So, the bit you sang to us then, is that the chorus?
25:53That is the chorus.
25:54Great.
25:55So, why don't you sing us the first verse?
25:57LAUGHTER
25:57Once upon a time, down by the river,
26:01there I was, all of a quiver.
26:05I saw a lovely girl with a beautiful curl
26:08in her gorgeous head.
26:10I thought, hey, what's going to happen?
26:14I must love her.
26:16I am Pinocchio.
26:18Cannot tell a lie.
26:19That was the essence of the song.
26:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:23Right, Lee.
26:25It is time to take a guess.
26:28First of all...
26:29It's not time to take a guess, Rob.
26:31It is not time to take a guess.
26:32It is time to say to Giles, OK, and the second verse.
26:35LAUGHTER
26:36Then we went out to a little cafe
26:40Oh, the fun we had that day
26:44We were married to some
26:47She and me, me
26:49Pinocchio, Pinocchio, I cannot tell a lie
26:53LAUGHTER
26:54Right.
26:56So...
26:57First of all, Tasha, what are you thinking?
26:59Is it true?
27:00Never mind what she's thinking.
27:02Third verse!
27:03LAUGHTER
27:05Is it true?
27:06I think it's a banger.
27:07I like the song.
27:08It's great.
27:09But I think it's a lie.
27:10Can I say how wrong you are?
27:12The song was translated into Italian.
27:14So it makes more sense in Italian?
27:16Oh, it's hilarious in Italian.
27:17Well, bang off.
27:18There's one great big problem with this, isn't there?
27:20You didn't write it for an Italian audience.
27:22You wrote it for Tim Rice.
27:23No!
27:23Of course!
27:24I'm sorry, look, look, look!
27:25It doesn't add up the story, does it, Giles?
27:27Can I say, you've been doing this for 19 years,
27:30but tonight you are a busted flush.
27:37It gets to about number 12 in the Italian charts.
27:40Occasionally we go on holiday there.
27:42I'm exaggerating slightly now.
27:44LAUGHTER
27:44We go on holiday there,
27:46and I feel I still hear people humming it.
27:49Pinocchio, Pinocchio, I cannot tell a lie.
27:50Yes, don't do it again, Giles.
27:52Don't do it again.
27:53Right, it's time to take a guess.
27:55Is it true or is it a lie?
27:57I don't think it's true.
27:58What do you think?
27:59I think it's...
27:59You think that's true?
28:00It has to be.
28:01He's just very good at that sort of thing.
28:04But I just know it's a lie.
28:06It's true.
28:07OK, so they're saying it's a lie, Giles.
28:09Was it a lie or was it, in fact, true?
28:13It was...
28:14a lie.
28:22Well, that's all we've time for on this special edition of Would I Lie To You.
28:26Thanks very much for watching.
28:28Good night.
28:33Comedians living in a sound-only world.
28:36How do they cope Chris McCausland with...
28:38You Heard It Here First on BBC Sounds.
28:41Mystical Goings On In The Garden Shed,
28:43Mackenzie Crookes' new comedy.
28:45Small Profits on iPlayer.
28:46Press Red now.
Comments