Twisted Yoga Season 1 Episode 3

Reality Central USA

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Transcript

00:16The book Yoni Shakti, I wrote between 2010 and 2012, and Yoni Shakti is a woman's guide

00:26to power and freedom through yoga and Tantra. It's about bringing people back into a respectful

00:34reconnection with the rhythms of earth and their vitality of life.

00:40I was interested to see who else is connecting to these practices, and that is how I found

00:48out about the school in Denmark. And I was like, that is interesting, so I put a two-line

00:54reference, almost like a footnote. And I didn't think any more about it until 2020 when I was

01:03contacted by a reader, and she expressed horror because she had been studying at that school

01:11and knew about the terrible things that had happened. And then from that, I connected with

01:17other people who'd had similar experiences, so they all were saying the same kind of

01:23thing. So I found their website, and this little Danish yoga studio was actually part of this

01:32Atman International Federation. There are members across the world, and when you look on each

01:40one, each one has got a different name. In Romania, it's called Misa. In Sweden, it's also called

01:48Nata Yoga. So when you get to England, Tara. So you wouldn't know that's anything to do with

01:55it. And at this point, I was like, oh my god, it's everywhere. It was my life. Okay, this was

02:06ten years ago for me, but there are still women going through this now. They claim that it was

02:11consensual and frame me as a liar.

02:18I wanted to move to kind of leave from the position I was, and he grabbed both my wrists

02:23and put them on the bed. Like, be quiet.

02:26This felt like I've got to get out of here. I couldn't take any more at that point.

02:31He is portrayed as sexually obsessed. This is what we see from the files.

02:36How is Omania who got the testimony of Ashley? He is the missing piece that I needed. Just

02:42watch them squint. It started and ended with him.

03:13July 2019, when I left Paris, it was a

03:20I guess I knew that there was sexual abuse happening, but I didn't, at that point, piece

03:25together trafficking. But I was just on this kind of constant reading rampage, becoming

03:31really kind of obsessed with understanding it more and more. The school was still operating.

03:38Everything was fine. And I just knew that every single day, more and more women were going

03:42through those same experiences and being sent to Paris.

03:47So Ashley got in contact with me and basically revealed why she had left the school.

03:55I was just like, what the fuck is going on? So I confronted the main coordinators from Sweden.

04:03And they're just like, it's all lies.

04:07I think he sort of thought he could make some change from within, and that perhaps people

04:12would understand and they could break free from Bivalaru and continue all the good parts

04:15of the school. And he wasn't able to recognise that Bivalaru was the school.

04:21The response was, our belief is so strong that we will do whatever it takes and we will support

04:27him no matter what. And in that moment, I just felt like this, this shudder and this coldness

04:32come over me, just thinking like, that's the sort of indoctrination that leads people to

04:37drink Kool-Aid. That's the Jonestown's sort of ideology of you're so aligned with this individual

04:45that you would do whatever it takes at whatever cost to protect him. And I just got so scared.

04:52I thought, holy shit, these, they're gone.

04:56So it was around May, 2020, that I first spoke out.

05:03Hi, everyone. I'm Ashley and I run the Cult Awareness page. This is the first story.

05:08There was a lot of fear of being judged or misunderstood. At the time, there was so much fear in

05:14me and I

05:14was still trying to understand what had happened. And I still wasn't sure where I sat and how I felt

05:18about it. And I was kind of oscillating between being really certain that something was wrong and

05:23that I'd left a cult. And then also at other times, wondering if I was wrong to leave and that

05:29perhaps I'd fallen off a spiritual path. But I just kind of had this need that I needed, I just

05:34needed

05:34to say something. Ask the teachers. Actually ask them, are you sending women to be initiated by the guru?

05:41Is that happening? Just watch them squirm. They'll either deny...

05:44I thought that I would feel really silly if I just went to my local police station and said,

05:49hey, I had this experience in France. Can you help me? I just felt really silly. I didn't know where

05:54to go.

06:02So when I first heard about the experience of the people in the first school in Scandinavia,

06:07they put me in touch with Ashley, Ashley Freckleton. And what she sent me, I've never forgotten it.

06:14I actually got it, received it here. I remember it coming through on the email and it was her testimony.

06:21The photo was taken the night before I was trafficked to a foreign country for want of a better word,

06:28a cult.

06:29People don't show up at yoga classes because, you know, they want to do bad in the world.

06:33They're like looking for self-improvement, to be a better human. That's why she's there.

06:39And there she is in the middle of London looking like a really vibrant young woman

06:43who's totally destroyed by this experience. It's just wickedness to do that.

06:47Yeah, isn't it?

06:50Uma wanted to publish my testimony anonymously in the book.

06:54That was the first time I felt like she gave a voice, sort of on a larger scale.

06:59But then they came after her.

07:03In April of 2021, I got a letter of claim, a legal letter.

07:08It basically says that all the allegations I've made are false, defamatory, severe, and it's going to cause their client

07:16loss of potential students.

07:18Serious financial losses is their main concern.

07:22Initially, I think I felt disbelief.

07:26And then I was just terrified.

07:29They want me to tell them the identity and whereabouts of all the parties who provided me with the information

07:36for you to make the defamatory allegations.

07:38They want to go after the survivors. That's what this is about, isn't it?

07:43The whole process ended up with me going to court three times and it took about two years to complete.

07:52And in the end, the judge decided that they had been out of time and that there were so many

07:59procedural errors that I won the call to get it thrown out of court.

08:03It couldn't go any further.

08:06It was a disaster. Financially disastrous, yeah.

08:10But I kept thinking, you know, the stress I was under was nothing compared to the deep suffering that those

08:18young women had gone through.

08:22What I felt was a kind of sickening sense that these really essentially good teachings had been twisted up to

08:32serve the world.

08:35the greed for power of the person who was in charge, who was teaching them.

08:53People didn't really speak about him as a human being, more of a spiritual being.

09:00We were really encouraged to look at him as somebody who was enlightened and elevated and whatever he taught was

09:09the truth.

09:12Almost as if he was Jesus.

09:16I knew that the school had originated in Romania.

09:19And I was told, don't bother looking him up because there's this long history with Romania and religious persecution.

09:30And he started teaching yoga when it was illegal.

09:33And he's been persecuted and demonized by the Romanian authorities.

09:38And that's all that you'll find.

09:41So, don't bother.

09:51This is a neighborhood in the outskirts of Bucharest.

09:54It's called Ferentari.

09:56And this is known because the houses that are used as ashrams by the group Misa.

10:03Most of them were around the streets.

10:11You can see that there are no windows or very small windows, very high fences.

10:17Many of them have very large satellite antennas.

10:20And in 2004, police got information that there was much more going on inside these houses than some normal yoga

10:32classes.

10:47The police had received a lot of complaints coming from parents who told the authorities that their children were missing

10:59because they had joined this movement.

11:02And they found that they found this in Misa.

11:04This was exactly the point of proof that the children were adhered to a campaign,

11:11adhered to a cult and they were told to be wiped away from families, from a nucleus, not an explanation

11:18of those clear explanation.

11:21Besides the fact that a lot of miners were believed to live in those ashrams,

11:27The police told the media that they had information that there might be human trafficking going on,

11:35that there might be organized crime activities.

11:57But I was waiting for some people in the world to find some people who are well working at the

12:07house.

12:09Let's go here.

12:11Let's go here, let's go here, let's go here, let's go here.

12:15To any questions they asked us, they gave us everything.

12:23They were scared, they were angry.

12:28They didn't feel free.

12:32They stayed, I can say, even siderated.

12:39There were not, I think, 20 or so, or 15, or if not,

12:46they had an image of the Bivonaru.

13:05I was born in Transylvania,

13:07which I think is a very captivating place and magical place.

13:14Yoga was entered by my mom's contacts,

13:19which was a search for spirituality.

13:23It was a more exciting world,

13:26which we didn't have access to before,

13:29because it was communism,

13:31it was a more open mentality,

13:33and we didn't have access to such information.

13:39After the entire period of communism,

13:42people, once again,

13:43they needed to be agitated,

13:46and to believe,

13:47and to deposit all hope and illusion

13:51in someone else.

13:52and to be able to find someone else.

13:57I think my mom started when I was 11 or 12 years old,

14:01and I said, of course,

14:02that I would participate too.

14:04I was curious.

14:07It was quite captivating to discover

14:10that there is a spiritual guru

14:13that created this yoga school,

14:15that there is someone

14:17who has answers to all our questions.

14:23that there is a spiritual guru

14:24that I found there.

14:27That there is a spiritual guru

14:30that I found there.

14:30that is something that is so sweet

14:30that is so intimate.

14:36That is something that is so intimate.

14:37So, the children saw the Greek

14:39as the supreme supreme symbol,

14:42the symbol masculine,

14:44the masculine symbol.

14:45You can see that in my vision

14:47of a child of 15 years old,

14:49I started to see myself

14:50as a God.

14:52God.

15:00We were talking about it

15:02until we started the investigation

15:04and we were very much predated

15:06and implemented

15:08this vision

15:11that what outside

15:12we want evil,

15:14that there is a conspiracy,

15:17how spiritual we are.

15:21right after the raids that were taking place,

15:24MISA started building up a defense

15:27and organizing protests.

15:30And then, exactly when all the heat was going on

15:33and all eyes were on MISA.

15:35He said,

15:35They are good for us!

15:38Gregoriami Volaru decided to appear

15:40on this very popular TV show

15:42Mario Stucca

15:43just a few days after the raids

15:45had happened.

15:53Hello.

15:54Hello.

15:55Good evening. I would like to say from the beginning that I am not the leader of MISA,

16:02but only the mentor of these movements.

16:05What do you say the Guru?

16:07I do not say the Guru, but by the press and by those who are trying to criticize me.

16:14I have always considered that I am the professor of yoga Gregorian Bivolaru.

16:20Did you have sex with one of the sympathizers of MISA?

16:24I do not do sex with anyone, because to make sex is something degradant.

16:30Did you have sex with one of the sympathizers of MISA?

16:34If I had sex with one, I did not have sex.

16:38Not degrading by sexuality, but sexual relationships, as we all know, based on love, respect, reciproc.

16:51And my initiative was in the beginning of the year 2000.

16:59I was a virgin.

17:02So, I do not want to give a lot of details about my initials, but it was absolutely nothing special.

17:10I did not feel any pleasure.

17:12I did not.

17:14I could not let anyone from one more time get sick.

17:19I could not let anyone from the place.

17:23I made a smart proposal to a doctor, but I did not fail much.

17:32Yes.

17:37Everything is in manifestation, everything is in resonance

17:41and God is the supreme creator of everything that exists

17:47and the spirit, in the yoga practice, needs to get to know

17:51more deeply, to reach this state of God.

17:55You have obtained a character from common.

17:59The character is not so physical, because he is not a person

18:04and he is not a person.

18:07It was the fact that we are constantly transfigured

18:10and put him on a constant piedestal.

18:15I am going to do this for all those who follow me

18:20for a minute, if I can, to create a state

18:24of those who are open, to accept,

18:28with happiness, my branch of infinite power

18:33which is in the macrocosmos.

18:36So, I have to start now.

18:38He said that he is going to transmit a state of absolute happiness

18:43to the viewers who are open to believing in his philosophy.

19:07You would start to wonder if that man is okay from a mental point of view.

19:20I have been involved in fighting against types of movement and cults for many years.

19:28So, that's how I became to be interested in MISA.

19:36I wanted to understand the motives of Peradi,

19:39what was going on with MISA in France.

19:42And I started to read and slowly investigate.

19:46It was something very well organized and always the same.

19:52So, they organize a kind of strategy

19:56where they ask women from everywhere around the world,

20:01except from France, to come in France for initiation,

20:05to improve their personal development and so on.

20:10After that, they go back to the origin country.

20:14And when you are a thousand kilometers, what can you do? Just nothing.

20:22It's difficult to accept that somebody is completely under the control of someone else.

20:29First of all, you absolutely need to have testimonies from the victims.

20:41I had reported to the Royal Charity Commission in the UK.

20:45Nothing had come of that.

20:47Like, I put something on Crimestoppers International

20:50and I followed that up maybe once or twice

20:53and it never came to fruition.

20:56No one ever got back to me.

20:57No one ever seemed to want to take my testimony.

21:02I put some alerts on my computers.

21:06Paris, Omania, Guru, Cult.

21:10And I quickly found this article in Australian newspapers.

21:17Paris, Omania, Guru, Cult.

21:20The testimony of Ashley.

21:24Hello, Ashley.

21:26Allow me to introduce myself.

21:30It actually is, yeah, it's pretty wild because from where I was sitting at that point,

21:34he was just some random guy in France.

21:37And yet, he's the missing piece that I needed to connect in with the foreign police.

21:44So I was in touch with Ashley and transmitted this testimony to the Department of Police

21:50in charge of what is going on in terms of cults in France.

22:05We knew there were difficulties with this movement.

22:08But before 2021, in reality, we wouldn't start an investigation on this movement.

22:20The first crucial step is the audit of the victims.

22:24Kaimard, which is a very specialized anti-cult unit, did reach out and said that they wanted

22:31to receive my testimony verbally.

22:34Then they asked me if I wanted to make a formal complaint.

22:38And I said yes.

22:40We said that there was a possibility that Gregorian Bivolaru was on the French territory.

22:49But it was very precious because there was a risk that Gregorian Bivolaru

22:53was on the right side of the scene, they disappeared and they couldn't put their hands on it.

23:06Gregorian Bivolaru is justified for five chapters of accusation.

23:10It's talking about more than sexual infractions, sexual corruptions,

23:15sexual trafficking, sexual trafficking, sexual relations with minorities,

23:17but also for attempts to break fraud.

23:21After the raids, Gregorian Bivolaru denied all of the charges.

23:26What do you want to do now? Do you want to try to hold you?

23:30No, I won't try to hold you. I don't know why.

23:33But then, a trial had begun and he was nowhere to be found.

23:38He didn't show up in court.

23:40And the next thing we found out was that Gregorian Bivolaru appears somewhere in Sweden.

23:47Stasturat, Gregorian Bivolaru, cel mai vânat român din ultima vreme, a fost prins și reținut in Sweden.

23:53There had only been like 15 years since the fall of the communist regime.

24:01So Misa was using this argument that was still sensitive in Romania,

24:07saying that Romania is still a corrupt country,

24:11is still a country where police use force, everything,

24:16in order to convince the Swedish authorities to refuse extradition requests.

24:21Slopitură sub centură dată justiției române. Gregorian Bivolaru nu poate fi extradat.

24:25Asta a decis astăzi Curtea Supremă de Justiție de la Stoppul.

24:30Agistrații suedese au temut că liderul spiritual Misa va fi persecutat în România.

24:35In 2004 escaped Romania to go to Sweden.

24:40So officially he was living in Sweden,

24:42but there is evidence that since at least 2007 he went in France and stayed in France.

24:59Everything I did was very much connected with the school.

25:03It was my life for quite a few years.

25:08And then I started to date people outside of the school

25:12and met somebody and had a child, so my focus shifted.

25:19I was quite disappointed because there wasn't so much understanding

25:22that life with a small child requires huge amounts of dedication and energy

25:29and I felt very much left behind.

25:34I was dedicating myself wholeheartedly to motherhood

25:38and a friend of mine called me and said,

25:41Look, you know, there are some things that I would like to share with you.

25:47So my friend came an evening and sat on the sofa

25:50and began to give me accounts of women having really awful experiences.

25:59For me, I went in because I wanted to.

26:02Like I really, really wanted it.

26:04So I never felt that I had to do anything against my own will.

26:08It was 100% my choice.

26:14But at the same time, there was a huge underlying pressure

26:19for a lot of people to do things against themselves

26:24and against their will and against their boundaries

26:26because there wasn't really that safety to say,

26:31actually, I don't want to do this.

26:40So that's what we were trying to do where they were!

26:42There were textures.

26:43This is a fair time since my career that was about to make possible

26:47a lot more interesting show.

26:48At a time when I came in nuclear tea,

26:53this was not a good job.

26:55detectives that received a hidden effect!

26:55Yeah, I was not public here Хотя

26:55I just asked myself a little bit about a few things

26:58and I could deal with my own will.

26:59Although the fact was very well,

27:01And your, as far as senior people's show,

27:02as a cay su turn,

27:02and you could do what you wanted to do.

27:06It was in that period when I understood magnitude

27:10and when I saw 40-year-olds,

27:14bought houses,

27:15when I saw hotels in Costinești in Costinești,

27:20and I confirmed that the prosperity of a non-profit organization

27:25comes from the sites, the video-chat.

27:36I signed a contract, they took a photo,

27:40and they said one of the reasons why this place is so special

27:46is because the profit from the site goes to him,

27:53goes to Greek.

27:59In terms of our growth and our development in the school,

28:05it started and ended with Greek.

28:10There were very many teachers in the school

28:13who were incredibly intelligent and charismatic,

28:18and all of them were just so devoted to this human being.

28:25But anybody familiar with the yin and yang symbol,

28:29we know that in each light, there's always a speck of darkness.

28:35Just like in each darkness, there's always a speck of light.

28:41I guess I made an assumption that the speck of darkness in him

28:45was really small.

28:47But from everything that's been uncovered,

28:51maybe the speck of darkness is much bigger than what we assumed.

28:59Missa and Gregorian Bivolaru have always presented Bivolaru

29:05as both a victim and a hero.

29:10That he has always been oppressed, attacked, harassed, jailed, tortured, beaten

29:19by the hands of the former secret police of Romania.

29:23It's called the Securitate.

29:31During the communist regime, we indeed lived in a closed and totalitarian society.

29:38That is true.

29:40But now, years after, we can actually look up in these files

29:47and see what really happened.

30:03The first mention of the Securitate surveilling Gregorian Bivolaru

30:12dates back from 1971.

30:18Back then, Gregorian Bivolaru was 19 years old,

30:23and he was in his last high school year.

30:27They discovered that he was in contact with foreign citizens,

30:34whom he was asking for pornographic materials, such as photos, magazines.

30:42So we have one of those letters. I think it was 1972.

30:49I know a lot of things about your sexual freedom in Sweden, and I want to obtain pictures.

30:57Do you want to send me sexy photos and sexy slides from Sweden?

31:02Another letter, I have a great sympathy for the German people.

31:07And in your sexy photos, I can see the emancipated comprehension of the sexuality in Germany.

31:14Later on, he was actually convicted to prison because he owned and distributed pornographic materials.

31:23He was not jailed because he was a yoga practitioner.

31:26At least this is what we see from the files.

31:29In the summer of 1989, raids were organized by Securitate in several cities in Romania,

31:36to dismantle groups that were practicing yoga.

31:43Yoga had been forbidden since 1982.

31:46Vivolar was leading such a group, so he was again detained.

31:51But this time, the Securitate decided that his place was not in a prison, but in a psychiatric medical unit.

32:03He is basically portrayed as sexually obsessed.

32:10So, in his own words, back from 1989, he tells the Securitate agents that one day, somewhere in 1986 or

32:211987,

32:22I met near my house a young 12-year-old brunette girl, I think she was a gypsy.

32:32And I asked this close friend of mine to have intimate relations with the girl, and afterwards to present her

32:43to me,

32:44in order for me to initiate her in sexual tantrism.

32:48This shows a potential interest in very young women since so many, many years ago.

32:56And also it goes on saying that Vivolar, over the years, has asked his women friends to recruit other women

33:05for him.

33:08He was subject to psychiatric exam, which says that he lacks the mental capacity to assess his own actions, his

33:20own deeds.

33:21And then just a few months later, the communist regime in Romania fell.

33:29And soon after, special commission of this psychiatric unit decided to release Gregorian Vivolaru.

33:36And soon after that, in 1990, the group called MISA took birth.

33:49So after Prague, I travelled back to the UK, and I started to realise how extremist the teachings and practices

34:00of the school were.

34:03And there was this website that was made by people who were enemies of the school.

34:10We were told that it was demonic, and it was better not to look at it.

34:15So, New Year's Eve, 21, 22, at home on my own, I did look at it, and it was like

34:24a mirror.

34:26It just confirmed what I was already feeling.

34:31All of those moments of doubt or incongruence now made sense.

34:36And this word, cult, that before I hadn't been willing to accept,

34:43I thought that it was a term that was used to denigrate religion and spirituality and keep people away from

34:48it.

34:52And I had to leave completely, and I had to do something about it, and I had to speak out.

35:01And then it became really clear their true colours and what they were actually capable of.

35:12So, they claimed that everything was consensual and framed me as a liar.

35:18And people who I thought were my friends were lying about me and saying, you know, how I'd fallen from

35:24the path.

35:25It made me feel sad that that whole foundation of community, which had been such an important part of me

35:34remaining in there for those years,

35:36was completely inauthentic, wasn't a real community, those weren't real friendships.

35:42And there was no opportunity for you to truly be yourself.

35:52I got a phone call from my first relationship at the time, Paula.

35:58So, initially, she wasn't prepared to discuss any of it, but she revealed everything.

36:04And it was just the final confirmation that I realised, like, this was the last straw.

36:16The fourth and last visit was in October of 2019.

36:27I wanted to move to kind of leave from the position I was, and he grabbed both my wrists and

36:34put them on the bed, like, be quiet.

36:36And then, eventually, a little bit more after that, he didn't keep them, but he put them, you know, and

36:42then took his hands off.

36:44And then, a few minutes afterwards, I started crying so that he would just get off me.

36:51And then, he was screaming at me for, like, three hours, saying that I was never going to be invited

36:57there again.

36:58Because I didn't deserve it, because I didn't love him.

37:01And then, after I left his room and I went to the room with the girls, he came into the

37:06room, and he continued saying horrible things to me.

37:09Like, he just repeated everything he said in his room to me alone in front of the girls.

37:15At that point, I said, I'm never again coming here.

37:18Like, I had it really clear, like, this is just, this is the opposite of what I ever thought it

37:23would be, you know?

37:26Like, this is super traumatic, like, it's not enjoyable at all.

37:29Like, I'm being forced to pretend that I want to do something I don't want to, and I'm being humiliated

37:36because I don't want to, you know?

37:42That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just, I couldn't take any more at that point.

37:47Just felt like, I've got to get out of here. I can't do this anymore.

37:54This investigator from France contacted me, so I did agree to give my testimony.

38:25I was contacted.

38:28by this special unit and through the questioning techniques

38:33and the use of language of this French unit,

38:36I could tell that they understood.

38:38I gave them my testimony.

38:41I just knew that that's what I had to do.

38:45There was no other choice for me.

38:49By the time they spoke to me,

38:50they'd already taken statements from a few others

38:53and I really felt that, OK, this was 10 years ago for me,

38:57but there are still women going through this now.

39:01I mean, I knew that I was a victim of sex trafficking and rape

39:04and that was clear from, like, even the therapy that I had done

39:07and some of the things that I had read until that point,

39:10but it was something about having the police actually say it back to me

39:13after hearing all of my very personal details for multiple days,

39:17having them say, yes, this is what happened

39:19and it's a very serious crime under French law

39:23and we will be absolutely pursuing this as far as we can.

39:29A moment, with the authorization of the magistrates,

39:33we had an operation of an envergure.

39:36We had about 170 inquieters who were on the ground.

39:40Just before the intervention, there were still difficulties.

39:44What did we really find behind these doors?

39:49This one had never been able to have a look.

39:56175 policiers mobilisés,

39:58a number of simultaneous arrests,

39:59all linked to a sectarian yoga group.

40:02The yoga guru was arrested

40:03over accusations of sexual abuse and exploitation in France.

40:07He was also accused of having abused hundreds of women.

40:09Just elated, I don't know.

40:11It's just, I don't, like, I honestly, when Ziggy called me,

40:14I didn't really have it.

40:15I don't, I can't really find the words.

40:22It just feels like this start of the reckoning

40:25that we all wanted to see happen.

40:28He's going to choose to select a number of women

40:31from the four corners of the planet

40:33to be initiated by him.

40:35It's an initiation sexuelle

40:36under the context of personal development.

40:39At first, I wasn't sure if it was real.

40:42It was like, just a lot of shock and awe

40:45and gratitude and relief.

40:48Come in.

40:56We're not there yet.

40:59This is just the first step

41:01in what will be a pretty lengthy process,

41:03but at least we know he can't be doing this any longer.

41:32Do you think he's a criminal guilty of those crimes?

41:40Once I took my experiences and the events

41:44that had happened to me out of the context of their dogma

41:47and applied it to the context

41:50of other normal people's reactions,

41:53my own feelings and experiences, legal definitions,

41:58then I understood that what had happened

42:00was trafficking and rape.

42:06There's a yes in my system.

42:11And also the story's complicated.

42:20But ultimately, the responsibility lies with him.

42:29To me, it was just like a bad experience, something then.

42:32And then talking to my therapist, she was like,

42:34you know, let's just put the name for the things that happened.

42:40When you were kidnapped inside,

42:41she started to use all of these words in therapy.

42:43It was really conflicting.

42:45It was like, I don't want to hear that.

42:48That's not what happened.

42:49And she was like, she really helped me to start putting names

42:52on the things that really, like,

42:53like, to really name properly the things that happened.

42:58And then when I saw the charges that we were accusing him of,

43:01and then it said rape.

43:03And then it was an explanation of what rape means

43:06for the French law.

43:09Any type of sexual interaction that you had

43:13that was done through manipulation or coercion,

43:17it's also called rape.

43:26We don't have to talk a lot.

43:28We just have to read after your declaration

43:31to check that there are no mistakes.

43:33I do worry about the fact that I ultimately resisted,

43:37and I ultimately did say no, and I left,

43:40and I wasn't initiated.

43:42I didn't endure the same horrors that others did.

43:47Therefore, is that an indication that their consent was valid?

43:51Because I was able to say no.

43:56So this is the beginning of the shops on the Cowdy Road.

44:00So you can see the sign from here.

44:02You see it?

44:05They're not going to say that this didn't happen.

44:08They're going to say that everybody

44:11would be consented, and therefore, no crime occurred.

44:15It's all the debate.

44:17It's obviously what supported the mises of the exam,

44:22that everyone was free.

44:24Every branch that was open when I left is still open.

44:29They target students particularly.

44:31So it's really upsetting to think that

44:34a young impressionable person, but potentially anyone,

44:37could just walk into that yoga studio

44:40and have a yoga class, just like I did, without knowing

44:44that it's connected to Bivalaru and Musa and Atman.

44:50I see, at my level, as a practitioner of the law,

44:54and because it's a lot of issues that I often traite,

44:58that all these young women were under psychological suggestion

45:03when they had taken the effect of which they played.

45:08What do you think of France?

45:10What do you think of France?

45:11In a group, and by a certain number of techniques

45:14and conditions, you prive your free-arbitre.

45:20I think that if there is a trial,

45:23it will not be held before a year,

45:28but certainly not before two or three years.

45:32We wait.

45:34We wait.

45:35We wait in a way active.

45:36As we say in French, I don't know if your translation will

45:39will be able to translate it.

45:40We wait.

45:41We wait.

45:42We wait.

45:43We wait.

45:47We wait.

45:56We wait.

46:01We wait.

46:02It's been crazy, actually.

46:03I'm just still trying to make sense of it all,

46:08just finding myself again.

46:17I miss the community, I miss the teaching, I miss being so incredibly inspired.

46:24And I've also learned that we can't just keep our gaze up to the light when we're standing

46:32in a pile of shit.

46:36The time that I spent actually in there and working alongside the other community members,

46:41I still feel like there's a sense of accomplishment behind all of that.

46:48I have often wondered what my life would be like if I hadn't been in this organisation

46:53for seven years.

46:55Maybe I would have had children, I don't know, like maybe I would have been in a long-term

47:00monogamous relationship for that time.

47:02It's just really hard to know what would have happened and how life would have been.

47:10I think it's good to be curious about why we're here in this incredible planet.

47:21But life is hard, life is painful, life is confusing, a lot of really horrible things happen and we

47:31don't have the explanation for why, and maybe we're not supposed to.

47:39Anumite vise din copilărie ale mele au fost pulberate de această sectă și acest mod de viață.

47:46Și eu cred că este de datoria noastră morală să luăm o atitudine și să avem o voce

47:50și să nu ne lăsăm intimidat și nu avem de ce să ne fie rușine.

47:56Cum obișnesc eu să spun în engleză dacă spun bine,

47:59only if you lose your fear, you have the power to take their power.

48:07I'm still trying to figure out where I sit on the spiritual spectrum.

48:11Good boy, Gil!

48:12There is a sense of spirituality there, but I don't know what I believe in anymore,

48:18and I'm still trying to make sense of that.

48:22Since then, I realized that I have this really deep connection with the spirituality

48:29if we want to call it God or the universal source, that I have such a deep experience

48:34that I don't need a guru, I don't need anybody else.

48:38Unless all of this exists within me.

49:15I am pretty sure.

49:33I feel like I am a care bill."

49:34I feel like I am a care bill.

49:34And I'm sure I am.

49:34I am at school.

49:35It's a parte ear.

49:37I am a real leader.

49:38The leader of물.

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