00:00Do you really think that roses and a poem would give you a second chance?
00:05You run apology with apologetically.
00:07I just felt bad, okay?
00:09Because you're right.
00:10I do owe you an explanation.
00:11The reason that I didn't sleep with you is because you're not attractive.
00:14There, I said it.
00:14Oh, thanks.
00:15Thank you.
00:15Thank you so much because you saved me from what could have possibly been the worst decision
00:19of my life and I've eaten sushi in Tijuana.
00:21Ooh, one nothing, okay?
00:23You're below my standards, even for a one night pity.
00:25And I've taken down some real hogs, Alexis.
00:27Yeah, hogs, cows, sheep.
00:30I bet your sex life is a regular heavy petting music.
00:33You know what?
00:33You're what we call a two-bagger, okay?
00:34That means that I have to wear a bag on my head just in case the one of yours breaks.
00:38You sure it's not just a size thing?
00:40Because it's got to be tough standing in a urinal pissing on your own testicles.
00:44Well, at least I can hide my shame in my pants.
00:46What really sucks is having an ass the size of a miniature Mediterranean donkey.
00:50That sucks.
00:52You think that's too big?
00:54I think that's too small.
00:56Yes.
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