00:10I now pronounce you husband and husband.
00:13You may kiss the husband.
00:19Kiss the husband.
00:24That's how we roll in our house, baby.
00:26Hell yeah.
00:29If this marriage is something you've cooked up in response to this pension problem,
00:33you are not taking me down with you.
00:35This marriage is the only way I can make sure my kids get my pension if something happens to me.
00:39This summer...
00:40Mr. Valentine?
00:41Yeah.
00:42I'd like to talk to you about your domestic partnership.
00:46Oh, jeez.
00:47Two of New York's bravest are going to turn a little lie.
00:51Your domestic partnership is being challenged by the city.
00:54You guys have nothing to worry about because you're a legitimate gay couple, right?
00:57Into a whole new way of life.
00:59Oh, yeah.
01:00We're, uh...
01:00No, we're big-time fruits.
01:02I like men.
01:04The way they smell.
01:05Okay.
01:07This investigation is going to get rough.
01:09How long is Uncle Chuck staying?
01:10What happened to your place?
01:12Are you and Dad homosexuals?
01:14They are going to quiz you about every aspect of your relationship.
01:17If we get caught, we'll go into jail.
01:19Have a great day.
01:20Oh, we will.
01:22On July 20th...
01:24I think we should have seen the signs.
01:26The only thing harder than being a man's man is letting go of being a lady's man.
01:32I'm cooking Alex a thank you dinner.
01:33You're hitting on a lawyer again?
01:35Girl to girl, how do you turn Larry on?
01:38You can't touch her.
01:39Our lives depend on her continuing to think you're gay.
01:42Universal Pictures cordially invite you to a comedy.
01:45Thanks to you, I can't even get close to her.
01:46I can't even have freaking fun with her.
01:48Why can't you have fun with me?
01:49You're smothering me, man.
01:50I can't freaking breathe.
01:51Because you're afraid of feeling trapped.
01:53That's what happens when you get married.
01:55Badass.
01:55We're not really married.
01:57About true romance.
01:59That's not a pillowcase.
02:00It's my underwear, you idiot.
02:01In the faking.
02:02Oh.
02:03Adam Sandler, Kevin James, and Jessica Biel.
02:07What are you doing there?
02:08I'm soaked.
02:09Greatest body I've ever seen.
02:10Besides Larry's.
02:11Well, these are real, by the way.
02:13He'll...
02:13What was that?
02:15Yucky.
02:15I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.
02:18You are a lousy best friend and a stupid ugly husband.
02:21For the record, every time I laughed at one of your jokes, I was faking it.
02:25You're a monster.
02:29Humphrey will leave.
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