- 1 day ago
John Willie is the shoe shine boy for a busy hotel but not very good at his job
George Formby - John Willie - Boots
Beryl Formby - Snooky - Scullery Maid (as Beryl)
Arthur Kingsley - Manager
Tonie Forde - Marie - Chambermaid
Lilian Keyes - Lady Royston (as Lillian Keyes)
Donald Read - Sir Alfred Royston (as Donald Reid)
Constance Fletcher - Mrs. Clifford
Wallace Bosco - Mr. Clifford
Betty Driver - Betty
Myfanwy Southern - Peggy - Reception Clerk
Harry Hudson - Cabaret (as Harry Hudson and his band)
Bert Tracy - Chef
Dan Young - Guest
Director - Bert Tracy
George Formby - John Willie - Boots
Beryl Formby - Snooky - Scullery Maid (as Beryl)
Arthur Kingsley - Manager
Tonie Forde - Marie - Chambermaid
Lilian Keyes - Lady Royston (as Lillian Keyes)
Donald Read - Sir Alfred Royston (as Donald Reid)
Constance Fletcher - Mrs. Clifford
Wallace Bosco - Mr. Clifford
Betty Driver - Betty
Myfanwy Southern - Peggy - Reception Clerk
Harry Hudson - Cabaret (as Harry Hudson and his band)
Bert Tracy - Chef
Dan Young - Guest
Director - Bert Tracy
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:07The
00:02:12Take me to room 16, will you?
00:02:14Very good, miss.
00:02:20Blithering idiot!
00:02:35You!
00:02:37Complaints, complaints, complaints.
00:02:39All over the place this morning.
00:02:41What do you mean by it?
00:02:42Well, I was...
00:02:43Shut up!
00:02:44Shut up.
00:02:45Odd shoes at every door.
00:02:47What have you got to say to that?
00:02:48Well, I was going to...
00:02:49Don't answer me back.
00:02:50And another thing.
00:02:52What have you done with Mrs. Shortbottom's shoes?
00:02:54Come on.
00:02:55Out with it.
00:02:56Mrs. Shortbottom.
00:02:56Mrs. Shortbottom.
00:02:58Mrs. Shortbottom.
00:02:59Yes, come on.
00:02:59Where are they?
00:03:00Oh, I remember.
00:03:01Oh, she hasn't got any bottoms.
00:03:04Well, what do you want?
00:03:05You want it immediately, sir.
00:03:07Oh!
00:03:13You know what I'd have done if he'd have done that to me?
00:03:15What would you do?
00:03:16I'd have got a hold of this shoe and...
00:03:19When you finish with these shoes,
00:03:21my office shoe...
00:03:23Yes, sir.
00:03:32You big stick, you.
00:03:34I thought you were going to kill him.
00:03:40Good afternoon.
00:03:41Good afternoon.
00:03:42Good afternoon.
00:03:42Good afternoon.
00:03:43Have you been hiking?
00:03:44Hiking?
00:03:45I'm hiking all over.
00:03:47We want rooms.
00:03:49I'm sorry, madam, but we're full up.
00:03:57Well, we've hiked 35 miles here,
00:04:00and we'll hike 35 miles back.
00:04:03Come along, Charles.
00:04:05All right, my dear.
00:04:05Yes, 35 miles, and I'll bet it's up here all the way.
00:04:08Good afternoon, miss.
00:04:09Good afternoon, miss.
00:04:13Complaints, complaints.
00:04:14I'm getting fed up with the whole thing here.
00:04:19Fed up?
00:04:20Yes.
00:04:20But you're not fed up with me, are you, love?
00:04:22No, not with you, Snooki,
00:04:24but it's that other big walrus.
00:04:26I don't know.
00:04:27You wanted it.
00:04:28You wanted it.
00:04:28I don't know what the blotting paper they want people to do in the place.
00:04:32But what...
00:04:32Listen, Snooki.
00:04:34What does he want you for in the office?
00:04:36I don't know.
00:04:36Same old thing, I suppose.
00:04:39Perhaps he wants to give you a rise.
00:04:41That's a good one.
00:04:42With the sound of it, it'll be with his foot.
00:04:45Oh.
00:04:46Listen.
00:04:47What?
00:04:47Would you do something for me?
00:04:49Oh, you know I'd do anything for you, John.
00:04:51Would you?
00:04:52I would.
00:04:53Well, sit yourself down on that chair.
00:04:56On here?
00:04:57Yes.
00:04:58Now, are you comfortable?
00:05:00Well, quite.
00:05:01Sure?
00:05:01Positive.
00:05:02Well, get all them boots paired up while I go and see them.
00:05:18Come in.
00:05:24It's you, is it?
00:05:25No, sir.
00:05:27What do you mean, no, sir?
00:05:28Well, you didn't see me come in, did you?
00:05:29No, I did not.
00:05:30Well, how did you know it was me?
00:05:32Look here, I've got no time to talk to a fool.
00:05:34Oh, well, I've plenty.
00:05:36Will you be quiet?
00:05:37Yes, sir.
00:05:38Now, look here.
00:05:40I've had a lot of complaints about you lately from different people in the hotel.
00:05:44And I'm not going to stand it much longer.
00:05:46Do you understand?
00:05:47Yes, sir.
00:05:48Now, for the last time, listen to your duties.
00:05:50Yes, sir.
00:05:52You will rise at 6 a.m., collect all the boots and shoes in the various bedroom corridors, clean them,
00:05:58and have them back in their places at 8 a.m.
00:06:00Well, I'm going to be quick, aren't I?
00:06:02Yes, you are.
00:06:03And further, you will also work days off.
00:06:08Days off?
00:06:09Days off.
00:06:10Oh, the blood of the lad can I work days off.
00:06:12By that I mean, if the hairdresser has a day off, you'll take charge of the hairdressing department.
00:06:18Oh.
00:06:18And if the, er, the chef has a day off, you'll take charge of the kitchen.
00:06:22And so on.
00:06:23Now, do you understand?
00:06:24Yes, and I suppose if I have, if I have my own day off, I can do a few odd
00:06:28jobs at all.
00:06:29Yeah.
00:06:29Now, get out!
00:06:31Where?
00:06:31There!
00:06:32Who?
00:06:32You!
00:06:33Me!
00:06:33Yes, you!
00:06:34Me!
00:06:34You!
00:06:35Get out!
00:06:36Me!
00:06:36Me!
00:06:37No, I'm me.
00:06:38I say, get out!
00:06:39You said, you get out!
00:06:41You get out!
00:06:41You get out!
00:06:42You!
00:06:42You!
00:06:43No, no, no, you!
00:06:45Oh, if you're getting out, I've no need to bother the number.
00:06:48Will you get out?
00:06:49Listen, you distinctly said to me, you get out.
00:06:52Well, I'm not you, I'm me.
00:06:53No, no, I'm me.
00:06:55Oh, no, fair's fair.
00:06:56I'm me.
00:06:57I am me!
00:06:58Well, listen, sit down and we'll I give you this point out.
00:07:01Now, look, anybody with any sense knows that you are you and I'm me.
00:07:06My dear chap, you're you and I'm me.
00:07:08Oh, if you'd any more sense, you'd be daft.
00:07:11Listen, you are you, I'm me.
00:07:15I'm me!
00:07:16Well, we'll toss up for it.
00:07:17All right, then.
00:07:19Now, whoever's you goes out.
00:07:24Head.
00:07:25I'm you.
00:07:32Oh, you drive me mad.
00:07:35I've just had a message to say that Sir Alfred Royston and his bride are coming here for their honeymoon.
00:07:40I've given them the blue sweets.
00:07:42Is that all right, sir?
00:07:44Oh, yes, that's great news.
00:07:47That's the ideal room for them.
00:07:49I say, get everything prepared and make them very, very comfortable.
00:07:53Yeah.
00:07:56Now, get me Howard of the reporter on the phone, will you?
00:08:05Hairdressers, kitchen.
00:08:08Oh, I'm getting fed up with this junk.
00:08:10You've been a long time, John Willie.
00:08:12I've had a real good go at him.
00:08:14Did you?
00:08:15I told him where to get off.
00:08:17That's fine.
00:08:21Where did you get them from?
00:08:23I was having a look round and found them, of course.
00:08:25Well, you've no right to find them.
00:08:27No.
00:08:27They're very important.
00:08:29Are they?
00:08:29Yes, they are.
00:08:30Why?
00:08:31Because I wrote them.
00:08:32Did you?
00:08:33Yes.
00:08:33When?
00:08:35When we spare something.
00:08:36Oh, John Willie.
00:08:38There's one there, I think, simply beautiful.
00:08:41Here?
00:08:42Yes.
00:08:42Which one?
00:08:43That one with baby arms.
00:08:44Look.
00:08:45This one.
00:08:47Oh, that little love song.
00:08:49Yes.
00:08:50I'd love you to try it over for me.
00:08:52Would you?
00:08:52I would.
00:08:53Well, you've been a good girl.
00:08:56You've put all my boots straight.
00:08:57Where's my ukulele?
00:08:59She'll be here.
00:09:00Bring it here then.
00:09:01All right.
00:09:02Come and sit down here.
00:09:04There you are.
00:09:07Do you know, Snooki?
00:09:08What?
00:09:08When I wrote this song, I was thinking about you.
00:09:11Were you really?
00:09:12Mm-hmm.
00:09:13Baby, baby, you're my sweetheart.
00:09:25Baby, baby, say we'll never fall.
00:09:36Although the skies be dreary and grey,
00:09:40promise me that you'll never stray away, my baby.
00:09:50Baby, you're my sweetheart.
00:09:58I love you all day through.
00:10:10Nobody else in this great big world for me will do, do, do.
00:10:21Come in.
00:10:24Hello, dear.
00:10:25What do you want?
00:10:26We want some new towels.
00:10:28One more wash with these and there'll be nothing left at all.
00:10:32Sit down there.
00:10:32Besides, I have a complaint to make.
00:10:36What's the trouble?
00:10:36Who came into my room last night?
00:10:39Why, nobody.
00:10:40I thought so.
00:10:42That's what I'm complaining about.
00:10:44Ha, ha, ha.
00:10:45I say, Barnaby, seriously.
00:10:47Do you know Sir Alfred Royston and his bride are coming here today?
00:10:50Really?
00:10:51Yes, and I want you to look after them.
00:10:53Why, of course, darling.
00:10:54Do you know, I wouldn't trust anybody but you.
00:10:58Ah, baloney.
00:11:00Ha, ha.
00:11:00But you're still a darling.
00:11:16All right, I'll attain to that.
00:11:18Goodbye.
00:11:20Bye-bye.
00:11:29Bye-bye.
00:11:29I saw you.
00:11:38Come in.
00:11:44Oh, it's you again.
00:11:46Oh, it's me.
00:11:48Oh, don't stand there.
00:11:50Don't stop again.
00:11:52But to save any arguments, he's me.
00:11:56What do you want?
00:11:57Well, it's this day's off business.
00:12:00Well, don't you understand it?
00:12:01No, I've tried to write it out but I can't get writing the figures.
00:12:04Oh, look here.
00:12:05Come to my desk and I'll explain it all.
00:12:07Over there.
00:12:08Over there.
00:12:08Right.
00:12:10Excuse me.
00:12:11I'm me again.
00:12:15What are you laughing about?
00:12:17I was wondering if he saw what I saw.
00:12:20What did you see?
00:12:21You little rascal.
00:12:23I saw you kissing Mary.
00:12:25But don't worry.
00:12:25I won't tell anybody.
00:12:26Only a few strangers and some friends.
00:12:28Yes.
00:12:29You'll tell nobody.
00:12:30No, sir.
00:12:31Ah.
00:12:31Well, now, it's about this day's off.
00:12:33Well, what do you want to know?
00:12:34Well, now, how do I know whose day off it is?
00:12:38You'll find that on the notice board in the kitchen.
00:12:40Well, how many hours a day do I work?
00:12:42Eight.
00:12:43And how many hours are there in a day?
00:12:45Twenty-four.
00:12:46Well, that's eight into twenty-four.
00:12:48Three.
00:12:49Three, sir.
00:12:50Now we're getting to it.
00:12:53Now then, in leap year, we have three hundred and sixty-six days.
00:12:57Yes.
00:12:58Now, one-third of three hundred and sixty-six is a hundred and twenty-two.
00:13:03Hundred and twenty-two.
00:13:05Yeah.
00:13:05Now then, I don't have to work on Sundays, do I?
00:13:08No.
00:13:09Right.
00:13:09Now, that's fifty-two days from a hundred and twenty-two.
00:13:13Yeah.
00:13:13How many does that leave?
00:13:15Seventy.
00:13:16What the devil are you driving at?
00:13:17You'll see in a minute.
00:13:19Now, I have a half a day off on Wednesday.
00:13:22Yeah.
00:13:22And a half a day on Saturday, don't I?
00:13:24Yes.
00:13:25That's another fifty-two from seventy.
00:13:27Yeah.
00:13:27How many does that leave?
00:13:30Eighteen.
00:13:31Eighteen.
00:13:31Uh-huh.
00:13:32Now then, I don't have to work Christmas Day, New Year's Day, Good Friday and Easter Monday,
00:13:39do I?
00:13:40No.
00:13:40Well, that's another four from eighteen.
00:13:42Yeah.
00:13:43How many does that leave?
00:13:44Fourteen days.
00:13:45Fourteen days?
00:13:46Yes.
00:13:46Well, I must have a fortnight's holiday.
00:13:49Ha-ha.
00:13:50You know, I never thought of that.
00:13:51You see?
00:13:52Yeah.
00:13:52So I've no time to work at all.
00:13:54No.
00:13:54Ha-ha-ha.
00:13:56What is this all about?
00:13:58Look here.
00:13:59Tell me.
00:14:00How long were you in your last situation?
00:14:03Three years.
00:14:03Yes.
00:14:04And why did you leave?
00:14:05I was pardoned.
00:14:06Get out.
00:14:07Who?
00:14:08You.
00:14:08Me?
00:14:09Yes.
00:14:10Get out there.
00:14:12Of all them numbskulls I've ever met in my life, that boot.
00:14:16Is it?
00:14:17Hello.
00:14:18Yes, it's...
00:14:20I'll be down in a moment.
00:14:24Good afternoon.
00:14:25My name's Royston.
00:14:27Good afternoon, Sir Alfred.
00:14:28Have you had a pleasant journey?
00:14:29Delightful.
00:14:31Wasn't it, my dear?
00:14:32Brother.
00:14:39I hope you'll be very happy, Lady Royston.
00:14:42Oh, thank you very much.
00:14:43Hey.
00:14:44I'm sure we shall be.
00:14:46Take Sir Alfred and Lady Royston to their room, please.
00:14:49This way, sir, please.
00:14:50Come along, my dear.
00:14:53Look along, thank you.
00:15:21I've got a real friend, more than a friend I find.
00:15:26Look where I feel, friend.
00:15:29She's all of this heart of mine.
00:15:33One little journey homeward
00:15:35Always will seem worthwhile
00:15:39To see her fond eyes
00:15:43Light with a welcome smile
00:15:48My mother, I love her
00:15:52My mother, you'd love her
00:15:56Who wouldn't love her
00:15:59My mum
00:16:03That sweet little somebody
00:16:06She thinks, she thinks that I'm somebody
00:16:10She's my pal
00:16:12My treasure
00:16:14My mum
00:16:18Anything, yes, anything I do
00:16:21She's my only inspiration
00:16:24And when I'm feeling blue
00:16:27And when I'm feeling blue
00:16:28So blue
00:16:29She's my only consolation
00:16:33As years grow on her
00:16:37I call blessings on her
00:16:41She's my Madonna
00:16:47My mum
00:16:50My mum
00:16:51My mum
00:16:53My mum
00:16:54My mum
00:17:05Oh, John Willie. You did frighten me. What are you doing in here anyway? I've just come in to see
00:17:14if the bathroom's all right for the new married couple. Oh, is it all? Have you seen them? Yes. Are
00:17:17they nice? Oh, they're lovely people. You know, I'd like to get married. Oh, why don't you get married? Why
00:17:23don't I? Yes. Who's going to marry a boot? I know someone who would. Who? Snoopy.
00:17:28Don't be duffed. I'm not being duffed at all. I tell you, she likes you very much. Listen. Yes. Listen,
00:17:35John Willie. Why don't you be a little more kinder to Snoopy? She's always talking about you and your songs,
00:17:41and I'm sure she loves you very much. Well, I love Snoopy, but I don't know how to tell her.
00:17:49Don't you really? No. Well, John Willie, would you like me to show you how to make love? I wouldn't
00:17:55mind. Well, all right, I guess that. Yes.
00:17:57Now, wait a minute. Put your arm around me. What? Put your arm around me. I don't like. Oh, come
00:18:05on, John Willie, look. Like that. Oh, listen. Isn't that nice? It's champion. Listen. You've got to imagine what I'm
00:18:16Snoopy. You're Snoopy? Yes. All right. Now, listen. What?
00:18:19What does it feel like? I don't like to tell you. Well, what does instinct tell you? Instinct? Yes. Has
00:18:28he had his arm around you? Oh, silly. What does your intelligence tell you? Oh, it tells me that this
00:18:35is no place for a growing lad.
00:18:37John Willie. John Willie. What? Can't you feel a strange sensation? Yes, I can. A peculiar feeling within you? Yes,
00:18:44I can. John Willie. Yes. Do you know what it is? Yes. What is it? It's them four pies I've
00:18:49had for me dinner. Oh, John Willie. What? I'm bursting with love. Oh, don't burst. Don't do something.
00:18:56John Willie. What? Look into my eyes. Which one? Both of them, you fool. John Willie. What?
00:19:03Don't you know that the eyes are the windows of the soul? Yes. Well, you a wind doesn't want washing.
00:19:10Come here, Blue. Those eyes like twin stars. Yes. Those nostrils like twin cylinders. Yes. Those ears like twin petals.
00:19:22Petals? What kind of petals? Bicycle petals.
00:19:26Oh, John Willie. What? Can't you picture our future? Can't you picture our married life in here?
00:19:33It is to come. I can see a pretty little cottage, a cozy little room. The fire is burning bright.
00:19:42Two chairs are drawn up there. You and I are sitting there and look. Look.
00:19:48I'm looking.
00:19:48There in the corner, I can see a baby's cradle, and look, oh, what a lovely picture, I can see
00:19:57it all.
00:19:58Suddenly, the door opens, and in rushes a handsome boy, the image of you, rushes in from school.
00:20:05Look, the door opens again, and a rosy-cheeked little girl, the image of me, rushes in from school.
00:20:15Look, the door opens again, and where he's going?
00:20:20Me?
00:20:21Yes.
00:20:21I'm going before rest at school come out.
00:20:23Good afternoon, Miss.
00:20:24Good afternoon.
00:20:25Did you get our wire?
00:20:26Yes.
00:20:27Is the manager about?
00:20:28Yes, he's coming along now.
00:20:30Oh, well, of all the people in the world, how are you, Mrs. Clifford?
00:20:33Oh, very well.
00:20:34And you, Mr. Clifford?
00:20:34Fine.
00:20:35Any news of the niece yet?
00:20:36No, I'm sorry to say we haven't, but we hear that a girl answering her description has been traced to
00:20:43this look at us.
00:20:43Oh, well, that's rather good news, isn't it?
00:20:45Well, we are hoping so.
00:20:48However, we shall probably know more tomorrow.
00:20:51I sincerely hope you do.
00:20:52I'm sure.
00:20:53Well, what about a little rest?
00:20:54I'm quite ready here.
00:20:55Will you send us up some tea?
00:20:57With pleasure.
00:20:58Miss, would you send tea to Mr. and Mrs. Cliffordroon?
00:21:06Hello, John Millie.
00:21:07Hello, Snooki.
00:21:08Hi, where have you been?
00:21:09I've been fishing.
00:21:10Oh, I say, I've been nice.
00:21:12Ah, lovely, aren't they?
00:21:13Oh!
00:21:13Oh, that's a big one.
00:21:14Did you catch it?
00:21:15No, it give itself up.
00:21:18I say, what is it?
00:21:20That?
00:21:20Yes.
00:21:21That's rather of all them little ones.
00:21:23Are you going fishing again tomorrow?
00:21:25Yes.
00:21:26Have you got worms?
00:21:27Yes, but that's not going to stop me.
00:21:30No, Millie.
00:21:31I'm coming.
00:21:39I say, I want a rope.
00:21:42You want a room?
00:21:44Yes.
00:21:44What kind of a room?
00:21:45A pink room.
00:21:46Well, you can't have a pink room.
00:21:47I must have a pink room.
00:21:48You can have a yellow room.
00:21:49A yellow room?
00:21:50Oh, I would positively dye one of those.
00:21:52Oh, you can't have a little love ducking, can we?
00:21:54Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:22:08London bridges falling down, falling down, falling down,
00:22:12London bridges falling down.
00:22:21Yoo-hoo!
00:22:23Yoo-hoo!
00:22:25Well done, faggotty.
00:22:26Can you take this up to the manager and give it OK'd immediately?
00:22:29Oh.
00:22:30Get this OK'd with the manager.
00:22:31Thank you. I'll be seeing it.
00:22:41Oh, Mr. Dawson, just excuse me, will you okay this list for me?
00:22:46Oh, all right. What have you got there?
00:22:48Well, I've got one pair of velveteen trousers.
00:22:52One pair of velveteen trousers?
00:22:54One of nine-pence-eight-near-yard.
00:22:56One of nine-pence-eight-near-yard.
00:22:57Have you got those down?
00:22:59I've got those down.
00:22:59I'll pull them up again.
00:23:02Excuse me, that was only a little joke on my part, you see.
00:23:05This is what I want you to put down.
00:23:07One bottle of Crucian salt.
00:23:10One bottle of Crucian salt?
00:23:12One and six-pence-eight-near.
00:23:14One and six-pence-eight-near.
00:23:15Have you got that down?
00:23:16I've got that down.
00:23:17Well, here they are.
00:23:21Little idiot!
00:23:24Barney!
00:23:26Barney!
00:23:35Why?
00:23:36This isn't okay.
00:23:38I know it's not.
00:23:39If I'd have stopped there any longer, I'd have been KO'd.
00:23:42You stay here until I come back.
00:23:44All right, Peggy.
00:23:46Hey, I don't know.
00:23:47You women.
00:23:48No wonder Adam lost his job.
00:23:52I want to complain about my room.
00:23:55What room?
00:23:56Why, my bedroom, fool.
00:23:57Oh, say, what name, please?
00:24:01Wetton.
00:24:02Eh?
00:24:03Wetton.
00:24:04Wetton.
00:24:05Wetton.
00:24:05Wetton.
00:24:05Well, you can't blame me for that.
00:24:08Married?
00:24:09Of course I'm not married.
00:24:11No, I didn't think you would be.
00:24:13The man I married was neither smoked nor dink.
00:24:17Well, you'd better go round to the cemetery and dig yourself one up.
00:24:20Oh, I see.
00:24:21You are one of those smart youths who think he knows everything.
00:24:25Well, I do know everything.
00:24:27Well, tell me this.
00:24:28How long can a person live without brains?
00:24:33I don't know.
00:24:33How old are you?
00:24:34Oh, now look here.
00:24:36What about my room?
00:24:37Well, eh, you can have number 13, missus.
00:24:40Not so much of your missus, you young pop.
00:24:43Go on, you cheeky fash cat.
00:24:45I'm not a cat.
00:24:46You are a cat.
00:24:47I'm not a cat.
00:24:47It's all for a kitten.
00:24:49Oh, bah!
00:24:50Bah!
00:24:51Bah!
00:24:51Bah to you and all.
00:24:53A little song, dear.
00:24:54Yes, please.
00:25:02Dream, I'm nothing but my dream.
00:25:05Life's one long dream of you, you, you.
00:25:12Dreams may have a million themes, but every theme is you, you, you.
00:25:24Dreams in which I see the gleam of love light in your eyes, divine.
00:25:35Dream, a one glad night supreme.
00:25:42The night I made you mine, all mine.
00:25:53Dream, a one glad night supreme.
00:25:56The night I made you mine, all mine.
00:26:01You are glad to be with me.
00:26:05What an unwaking.
00:26:08I find you gone.
00:26:12And my heart aching.
00:26:16And nearly breaking.
00:26:23Dream, I'm nothing but my dream.
00:26:29Dream, life's one long dream of you, you, you, dream, may have a million themes, but every theme is you,
00:26:47you, you, you, dream.
00:26:52Dream, in which I see the gleam of love lights in your eyes, I dream of one glad night, supreme,
00:27:12that night I'll make you mine, all mine.
00:27:21Oh, what a night divine, tonight I'll make you mine, all mine.
00:27:40Don't we ever seem to be working morning, noon and night on this job?
00:27:44Good morning.
00:27:46Oh, good morning, madam.
00:27:47Are you the hairdresser?
00:27:48Well, no, not exactly, but I work when the fellow's having his day off, you see.
00:27:52Oh, whatever.
00:27:53Take a seat, will you, missus?
00:27:54You can attend to me.
00:27:55Oh, yes, I can attend to you, all right.
00:27:58Nice, er, nice weather will happen, isn't it?
00:28:01Oh, yes, very nice.
00:28:02There's a lot of nice weather to come and all.
00:28:04Is there?
00:28:05Yes, all next week's never been touched yet.
00:28:08Oh?
00:28:08Nice bit of stuff, this, isn't it?
00:28:10What do you mean? Put that down, that belongs to me.
00:28:12Sorry, sorry, all is that taking ways, though.
00:28:15Now, er, what, er, what can I do for you?
00:28:18Well, first of all, I want a haircut.
00:28:20Haircut?
00:28:21Er, which, er, which one?
00:28:23Why, all of them, you fool.
00:28:24Oh, well, I only wanted a few, you see.
00:28:27Tell me, young man.
00:28:28Yes?
00:28:28Have you been cutting hair long?
00:28:30No, short as a rule.
00:28:32Did you read the interesting news in the paper this morning?
00:28:35No, not particularly.
00:28:36Snuff's gone up with me a ton.
00:28:38Snuff?
00:28:39Marvelous how these things happen now, isn't it, eh?
00:28:42Here, I...
00:28:43I said, well, hey, Goofy.
00:28:45Oh?
00:28:45You're wanted in the blue room.
00:28:46There's something wrong with the lights.
00:28:48In the blue room?
00:28:49Yeah.
00:28:49Oh, I see.
00:28:50What are you doing?
00:28:51Shut up, shut up.
00:28:52Is anybody talking?
00:28:54What's on earth?
00:28:55Did you say I was wanted in the blue room?
00:28:57Yeah.
00:28:58I said, well, look at that pair.
00:28:59Oh!
00:29:00Keep your feet, missus.
00:29:02Keep your feet!
00:29:03Be quiet while I'm reading, will you?
00:29:05Mm-hmm.
00:29:06Where are?
00:29:06Go to everyone else.
00:29:08You know, then, I saw back yesterday.
00:29:10Yeah.
00:29:11Come up.
00:29:12What price is it?
00:29:13Thirteen to four on.
00:29:15Thirteen to four on.
00:29:17Thirteen to four on.
00:29:19Now, let me see.
00:29:21That's, er, clippums each way, thirteen to four on.
00:29:24That brings in fortum's apenny, doesn't it?
00:29:27Right.
00:29:28Well, fortum's apenny and three apen's sixpence.
00:29:32I, er, I say, missus.
00:29:33Well?
00:29:33I suppose I'll be getting a tip for this when I finish, won't I?
00:29:36Just depends how you do your work.
00:29:38Aye, well, I think I'd better have my tip now and be on the safe side, wouldn't I?
00:29:42Well, you saucy monkey.
00:29:44Yes, thanks very much.
00:29:45Now, that's fortum's apenny and sixpence, and fortum's apenny to come to shilling.
00:29:49Go and put me a shilling on fan like fanny.
00:29:51Well, bount wise.
00:29:52Yes, then I'll be sure of it coming back.
00:29:54Well, don't forget the light.
00:29:56Go on now, no, don't start bossing me.
00:29:58Yes, please.
00:29:58Now, look here, young man.
00:30:00Yes.
00:30:00I came here to have a haircut.
00:30:02Yes.
00:30:02And wave.
00:30:03Yes.
00:30:04Not to have my face blasted over with all that rubbish you've got.
00:30:07Oh, I'm awfully sorry.
00:30:08I just, you know, I was carried away for the minute.
00:30:10I was carried away.
00:30:11I won't do it again.
00:30:12I hope you won't.
00:30:13No, let me.
00:30:13You want your hair cutting, don't you?
00:30:14I want my hair cutting.
00:30:16Will you mess your hair up with all these things?
00:30:18Oh, I'll take them out if you're in a hurry.
00:30:20You'll never see a man going about with things like that in his hair.
00:30:24Well, man, a man I found after this.
00:30:26Now then, let me see now.
00:30:28Haircuts.
00:30:29Haircuts.
00:30:29You did say this was hair, didn't you?
00:30:31What did you tell?
00:30:32Of course I said it was hair.
00:30:34What do you mean I said it was hair?
00:30:36Oh, well.
00:30:37Here's a better hand.
00:30:41Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:30:48oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:30:48Ha!
00:30:48You all right, you all right?
00:30:50Don't move yourself.
00:30:52I sing these songs of Arabism.
00:30:55You're very musical, aren't you?
00:30:56I do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
00:30:59You're pulling my hair.
00:31:00Oh, that's all right.
00:31:02You know, you won't have a nicer pull in a minute, I'm cutting it beautiful for you.
00:31:05I'm trimming this up hair in this way.
00:31:07I sing these songs of all day
00:31:10You're all right. Don't worry yourself.
00:31:13I'm not all right.
00:31:18Be still or that. I'll throw you all down together.
00:31:21You're what?
00:31:22Oh, you jealous of a man.
00:31:29Well, I've never been through such punishment in my life.
00:31:32Never.
00:31:34I think you'll do now.
00:31:36You'll be able to get up yourself, won't you?
00:31:38Oh, yes. Did you tell me all right?
00:31:40I've got to go for the night.
00:31:41I see.
00:31:43Well, have a look.
00:31:50Well, the hulk and the tilt and the twiddle of the fiddle-o
00:31:54Popping up and down like a herring on the griddle-o
00:31:58See that thing?
00:32:01Up, down, waltz, round, up and in the wall
00:32:04And we'll get it to you so the fiddle-o
00:32:08Well, the hulk and the tooth and the twiddle of the fiddle-o
00:32:16Popping up and down like a herring on the griddle-o
00:32:19Up, down, waltz, round, up against the wall
00:32:22And we'll get it to you so the fiddle-o
00:32:37They don't want any light.
00:32:40I could, I mean, hear you'd hear this sound
00:32:44You could, I see.
00:32:44All through the gl task of looking around an air,
00:32:44Could you give me that idea?
00:33:12Come to them asking for a line.
00:33:18Oh, you!
00:33:21It's here again.
00:33:22Get out of it.
00:33:22Go on!
00:33:26Oh, that woman!
00:33:27Mother!
00:33:28Mother!
00:33:28She's after me!
00:33:29Oh, that man!
00:33:30Look what you think to me!
00:33:31Trace Army.
00:33:32I know, I know.
00:33:34I cannot understand it myself.
00:33:36Do you think we shall ever find her?
00:33:38Oh, there are still hopes.
00:33:40It was most unfortunate we could not send for her soon after your sister's death.
00:33:44Certainly would have saved a lot of trouble.
00:33:47But her last letter led me to believe that she was happy.
00:33:51Had she put an address on the letter, it wouldn't have been so difficult.
00:33:55That must be almost four years ago.
00:33:58A lot could have happened in that time.
00:34:00She may be in need of our help.
00:34:02She may be married.
00:34:04She may not.
00:34:05You know, dear, we made a promise to your sister.
00:34:08And I'm doing what I can to fulfill that promise.
00:34:11But there are still hopes.
00:34:14Tomorrow may bring some news.
00:34:16Oh, I do hope so.
00:34:18Wouldn't it be wonderful, dear, if she were here with us now?
00:34:21Hmm.
00:34:21All our anxiety over.
00:34:24The comforts we could give her.
00:34:25The joys and happiness we could put into her life.
00:34:29Well, dear, don't let us worry.
00:34:32You know, you've brought a bridge with the Royston's for an hour before supper.
00:34:37I've forgotten all about the appointment, would you?
00:34:39I knew you had.
00:34:44Oh, you two at it again?
00:34:46Why don't you stop arguing?
00:34:48What's for tea, chef?
00:34:49What's on a table?
00:34:50Oh, so you're getting stabbed up, too, are you?
00:34:52What's the matter with him, Snooki?
00:34:53Oh, he'd been after John Willie again?
00:34:55He would.
00:34:56Why don't you leave him alone?
00:34:57I don't like it him.
00:34:59I've had enough of his insultations.
00:35:04Hello, bloated face.
00:35:12You see what he do to me, then?
00:35:14I kill you this night.
00:35:15Get away, get away.
00:35:16I'll come in.
00:35:16Get away.
00:35:17I'll stab you in four places at once.
00:35:20I swear you'll be with me, son.
00:35:22I'll do it.
00:35:23Pull me down like that.
00:35:27Oh, come along, both of you, and have your tea.
00:35:29Every time he come here, there's always a noise.
00:35:32It's disgraceful.
00:35:33Every time you two meet, so there's a row.
00:35:35Why blame me?
00:35:36Why not blame him sometimes?
00:35:38Well, why can't you be more friendly with him?
00:35:40Friendly with him?
00:35:41Yes.
00:35:41I'll eat him.
00:35:43You're telling me.
00:35:45Please.
00:35:45Will you two stop arguing?
00:35:47Yes, for heaven's sake, stop it, will you?
00:35:50Well, give us a cup of tea.
00:35:51All right.
00:35:54These are I who made these.
00:35:56Those are the cake I make.
00:35:57I make those cake before you were born.
00:36:00This is one of them.
00:36:01Thank you, I'll make such stuff again.
00:36:03John Willie.
00:36:04What?
00:36:04Tell us all about this latest song of yours, will you?
00:36:07Latest song?
00:36:08Don't make me laugh again.
00:36:10Hymn sing, eh?
00:36:11Ho, ho, ho.
00:36:12Here, you wait till you've heard it.
00:36:14What about you?
00:36:14What can you do?
00:36:15What can I do, eh?
00:36:17I'll recite.
00:36:20I'll recite a recitation that'll make you cry.
00:36:24Make me cry?
00:36:24Make you cry.
00:36:26This is enough here to make you cry.
00:36:30Don Willie.
00:36:31If the chef wants to recite, well, let him recite.
00:36:33Oh, there's nobody stopping them.
00:36:35I recite to bring the tears down your nose.
00:36:38Down my nose?
00:36:39Yes.
00:36:40Good job I'm not cross-eyed enough to go down my back.
00:36:45Oh, dash it.
00:36:47That's for me.
00:36:48Oh, it's no kidding.
00:36:49I'll be back in a moment, though.
00:36:51All right.
00:36:51Get on with the recitation.
00:36:53I recite for you the little poem called Jack and Jill.
00:36:57That's not going to make me cry.
00:36:59You wait a minute.
00:37:01Jack and Jill walk up the hill.
00:37:03Yes?
00:37:03To bring the pail of water.
00:37:05Yes, but when do I cry?
00:37:06Be quiet, John Willie.
00:37:07Jack and Jill walk up the hill to bring the pail of water.
00:37:11Yes.
00:37:11Jack fell down and broke his trance.
00:37:14Uh-huh.
00:37:15And Jill, she spilled the water.
00:37:18Oh!
00:37:21You see what I'm doing in there?
00:37:23Ah, that's a dirty trick now, isn't it?
00:37:28It's a dirty trick.
00:37:31Listen, frog face.
00:37:33You know you deliberately used Jack and Jill to wet me through.
00:37:36Give me that.
00:37:39Jack and Jill.
00:37:40Why?
00:37:41What's the matter, John Willie?
00:37:43There's just been a leak.
00:37:45Oh, listen, Snoopy.
00:37:46What?
00:37:47Would you like to hear a dramatic recitation that'll make you cry?
00:37:50Oh, I'd love to hear a recitation.
00:37:53Well, now, you just sit still and I'll tell you this recitation.
00:37:56All right.
00:37:57Now, Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a pail of water.
00:38:02What did they want water for?
00:38:03Oh, don't I know.
00:38:04Ask him.
00:38:05He told me first.
00:38:06I don't tell him that at all.
00:38:07Be quiet.
00:38:08Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a pail of water.
00:38:13Jack fell down and broke his crown.
00:38:15Oh, had he one of those?
00:38:17Of course he had one.
00:38:18He'd look funny without one, wouldn't he?
00:38:19A crown?
00:38:20Yes.
00:38:21Don't say he had one of these.
00:38:23That's my head.
00:38:24Get away, that's not a head.
00:38:25It's only a temple.
00:38:26It hasn't come to end yet.
00:38:27Now, be quiet.
00:38:28All right.
00:38:29Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a pail of water.
00:38:34Jack fell down and broke his crown and he spilt all the water.
00:38:38Oh!
00:38:39Oh!
00:38:40He's done it all again.
00:38:41He's done it all again like that.
00:38:43Oh, you ever see such a funny man.
00:38:45I haven't done it wrong.
00:38:53Oh!
00:38:54Oh!
00:38:54Diablo, what did you do to that man?
00:38:56I killed him!
00:38:56Where is the man?
00:38:57Where is that man?
00:38:58I killed him!
00:38:59Oh!
00:38:59That man!
00:39:00Look at him!
00:39:01Where's my knife?
00:39:02Give me the knife, please!
00:39:03I cut his face off.
00:39:04Where are we?
00:39:05Oh!
00:39:06Look at him!
00:39:06Oh!
00:39:07My God!
00:39:08Any letters?
00:39:11This is the only one named Dennis.
00:39:14Oh!
00:39:15With her birth again!
00:39:17Oh!
00:39:18Isn't he the one?
00:39:19Isn't he the wonderful boy?
00:39:21John Willie!
00:39:22What?
00:39:22Take those into the pantry for me, will you please?
00:39:24Please?
00:39:25Yes!
00:39:28Hey!
00:39:29Yes!
00:39:29Is this all?
00:39:30That's all, yes!
00:39:37Oh!
00:39:40Oh!
00:39:40Oh!
00:39:41Oh my goodness!
00:39:44Honey, they broke them all!
00:39:47John Willie, you are clumsy!
00:39:49Well, it's locked out in my hand!
00:39:51Come out of the way!
00:39:52Let me get this mess cleaned up before anyone sees it!
00:39:54All right!
00:39:55Here!
00:39:55Aren't you going to help me?
00:39:56Oh, yes!
00:39:57I'll help you!
00:39:58Oh!
00:39:59Oh!
00:40:00Oh!
00:40:00Oh!
00:40:00Now look what you've done!
00:40:01Tell the floor!
00:40:02Why don't you try and smash up the whole hotel?
00:40:05Here!
00:40:06Smash that!
00:40:07Oh!
00:40:07That's easy!
00:40:08Oh!
00:40:10Good gracious!
00:40:11Look at that!
00:40:13I didn't want you to do that!
00:40:15I don't know you women!
00:40:16You don't know what you do want!
00:40:18And when you get it, you don't want it!
00:40:19You deliberately told me!
00:40:20Oh!
00:40:21And do you believe everything you're told?
00:40:23Well, why shouldn't I?
00:40:25Hm!
00:40:25Would you believe me if I told you I could dance?
00:40:28Dance?
00:40:28Yes!
00:40:30What words?
00:40:32With these!
00:40:43Tough thing!
00:40:43You might have kicked anybody then!
00:40:48Oh!
00:40:49Come here!
00:40:50That's no good at all!
00:40:51You're too slow!
00:40:52Am I?
00:40:53Yes!
00:40:54You want more fire in your feet!
00:40:56Bit of light!
00:40:56Watch me!
00:40:57Like this, look!
00:41:01Like that?
00:41:03No!
00:41:03Not like that!
00:41:04But you see the idea!
00:41:06I don't!
00:41:07Well, come over here!
00:41:08Then you can dance better!
00:41:09All right!
00:41:11Get in here then!
00:41:12What, up here?
00:41:13Yes!
00:41:14Well, give me this!
00:41:14You'll not need that!
00:41:15Aha!
00:41:18Oh!
00:41:18Fine!
00:41:18Listen!
00:41:19I'll play this!
00:41:20And when you hear me play, you start dancing!
00:41:22All right!
00:41:22And the faster I play, the faster you dance!
00:41:25Splendid!
00:41:25Now, are you ready?
00:41:26I'm ready!
00:41:27One, two!
00:41:37No, no!
00:41:38Oh, it's no good!
00:41:39You're not dancing fast enough!
00:41:40You want more life into it!
00:41:42Well, I can't dance any faster than that!
00:41:45Oh, you will in a minute!
00:41:47Well, now start again!
00:41:48Are you ready?
00:41:48I'm ready!
00:41:49One, two!
00:41:50One, two!
00:41:59Two!
00:42:00Three!
00:42:01Three!
00:42:01One!
00:42:02Two!
00:42:08Two!
00:42:12Three!
00:42:12Three!
00:42:15Four!
00:42:19Whoa!
00:42:20Oh, oh, but I did dung.
00:42:24El perro, muchacho.
00:42:29So, this time I catch you red-footed, eh?
00:42:32What if I do that man?
00:42:33Oh, chef.
00:42:36Please don't ask questions.
00:42:37Come and do something for me.
00:42:39Me do something?
00:42:40Yes.
00:42:41Why not that man there?
00:42:42He's seen make you happy all your life.
00:42:44You cry.
00:42:44Why?
00:42:45Tell me.
00:42:45Oh, don't be so cruel.
00:42:47Come and do something for my foot.
00:42:49For your foot?
00:42:49Yes.
00:42:51That's a nice leg you have.
00:42:54That's a nice leg, but you break my heart.
00:42:56Oh, no.
00:42:57You too?
00:42:58No.
00:42:59Chef, will you do me a favor?
00:43:02Snooki, I'll do you a favor.
00:43:04You will?
00:43:05I'll do a favor for you.
00:43:06Promise?
00:43:07I promise?
00:43:08Promise you won't be unkind to John Willie from now on?
00:43:12John Willie?
00:43:12Yes.
00:43:13John Willie, that's the first he got on.
00:43:15Snooki.
00:43:16Yes?
00:43:16For you, I promise anything.
00:43:18Oh, chef.
00:43:20You've made me the happiest girl in the world.
00:43:25Snooki.
00:43:26Snooki.
00:43:27Snooki.
00:43:28You're the nicest.
00:43:29What's the matter?
00:43:30What's the matter you do this?
00:43:38You dirty double little crosser.
00:43:41For two pins, I'd push your face on the back of your neck.
00:43:45I might have known it, though.
00:43:48I don't know.
00:43:49If women like you like men like him, then why don't women like me?
00:43:54There must be something wrong with me.
00:43:58Now I know I'm not handsome, no good looks or wealth.
00:44:03But the girls I chase say my plain face will compromise their health.
00:44:08Now I know fellas worse than me, bow-legged and boss-high.
00:44:14There must be something wrong with me.
00:44:42Walking out with lovely women, clinging to their side.
00:44:44One night I went out walking, my intentions were to click.
00:44:48But the sights I saw while walking out, they nearly made me sick.
00:44:53I must admit, I saw some girls' attractive little dears.
00:44:59I'm in harm with ugly men with cauliflower ears.
00:45:04So if women like them, like men like those, why don't women like me?
00:45:10What can the attraction be?
00:45:13That's the thing that always has to worry me.
00:45:15Although I haven't got a bean, I've got a lot of things the girls have never seen.
00:45:20So if women like them, like men like those, why don't women like me?
00:45:25Hey, hey, why don't women like me?
00:45:29Now if women like them, like men like those, why don't women like me?
00:45:34Take Lord Nelson with one limb, Lady William Hamilton, she fell for him.
00:45:40With one eye and one arm gone west, she ran like the devil and she grabbed the rest.
00:45:45So if women like them, like men like those, why don't women like me?
00:45:49Hey, hey, hey, why don't women like me?
00:45:54I know why women don't like you.
00:45:56And why don't women like me?
00:45:58Did you ever see your face?
00:46:01My face?
00:46:02No, Peter.
00:46:04What's the matter with my face?
00:46:06Get back, you.
00:46:07I don't like your face.
00:46:09I don't like your face.
00:46:11You don't?
00:46:12No, and why you sing this song about why no women like me, eh?
00:46:14You little worm, come here.
00:46:17How old are you?
00:46:18I have 41.
00:46:2041.
00:46:21Do you ever want to be 42?
00:46:23I do.
00:46:23Well, shut up.
00:46:25Shut up, you tell me shut up, eh?
00:46:27Yes.
00:46:27You tell me shut up.
00:46:28I don't like you at all now.
00:46:29You don't?
00:46:30No.
00:46:30You don't?
00:46:31John Willie!
00:46:32Listen, stand back, woman.
00:46:33Oh, by heavens, stand back.
00:46:36You see that window?
00:46:37I see that window.
00:46:38You're going through it.
00:46:44Got rid of him.
00:46:46Oh, you coward.
00:46:48You shouldn't have done that.
00:46:50Oh, it's too late now.
00:46:51It's done.
00:46:52But he was only looking at my feet.
00:46:55Now, listen.
00:46:56In future, if there's anybody going to look at your plates of meat,
00:46:59it's going to be me.
00:47:02Oh, John Willie!
00:47:05Do you mean it?
00:47:06Well, I've said it, haven't I?
00:47:09Oh, dear, a little shrimp like him.
00:47:11How are your feet?
00:47:13Oh, they're terribly sore.
00:47:15Are they?
00:47:16Mm.
00:47:17Oh.
00:47:18Sit on here and I'll have a look at them with you.
00:47:20All right.
00:47:25Now, which hurts them all?
00:47:27Oh, oh!
00:47:28Oh!
00:47:34Whatever's happened now?
00:47:35Oh, it's John Willie again.
00:47:36Oh.
00:47:37You know, Mari, there's something about that boy I can't understand.
00:47:42I only wish I knew he cared for me.
00:47:44Why, of course.
00:47:45He loves you.
00:47:47He has a burning love for you.
00:47:49Yes, so I've noticed.
00:47:51Oh, but he never shows me any affection.
00:47:54Well, he's shy.
00:47:55He can't express himself.
00:47:57Oh, and I think the world of him.
00:47:59Ah, but don't you let him think so.
00:48:02You show your love too much.
00:48:05Do I?
00:48:06Make him want you.
00:48:08Make him jealous.
00:48:12Vamp him.
00:48:13Hmm.
00:48:20I will.
00:48:22Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
00:48:43Music?
00:48:44Not much of a diet, my dear.
00:48:47No, we must be hurrying along because the Clippers are expecting us.
00:48:50Oh, come along, then.
00:48:52Come along, George.
00:48:57I'm sorry, dear. I haven't changed, will it, thanks?
00:49:13What do you think?
00:49:16Oh, come along.
00:49:17fazer Oh, come along.
00:49:20Get it.
00:49:21Oh, come along.
00:49:27Oh, come along.
00:49:33Oh, come along, okay.
00:50:11Oh, oh, I didn't hear you come in.
00:50:13Well, I've come to tell you that...
00:50:14Ah, well, listen, I've got some great news to tell you.
00:50:18Me?
00:50:18Yes.
00:50:19What?
00:50:20I've just written a new piece on the ukulele.
00:50:22Oh.
00:50:23Come on, stop out of it.
00:50:25What do you want me to do?
00:50:26I want you to do your dance to see how it fits to it.
00:50:29All right.
00:50:38Mr. Dawson.
00:50:39What is the matter now?
00:50:40It's Cassanti and partner. More trouble with them.
00:50:42They definitely refused to appear tonight.
00:50:44What, again?
00:50:45Yes, I've had nothing but worry with them since they came.
00:50:48Every night they've been grumbling about something.
00:50:50And this time I had a real upset with them.
00:50:52Ah-ha.
00:50:52Are they still in their room?
00:50:54Yes.
00:50:54And they won't appear, eh?
00:50:55No.
00:50:56I'll see to them.
00:50:57You follow me.
00:50:58I don't think it would be of much use, Mr. Dawson.
00:51:00They're absolutely impossible.
00:51:02They're impossible.
00:51:03Wait till they've met me.
00:51:04Come along with me, my lad.
00:51:07Come along with me.
00:51:08Come along with me.
00:51:10Come along with me.
00:51:12Come along with me.
00:51:13What's that?
00:51:13Some dead crazy books, I suppose.
00:51:16Just wait a minute.
00:51:26All right.
00:51:27Come along with me.
00:51:32I didn't know that shop was so clever.
00:51:34The man's marvelous.
00:51:35Aren't we rather wasting our time?
00:51:36Go and tell Cassandie to get out.
00:51:39Get out?
00:51:39We won't want him anymore.
00:51:41Go along.
00:51:44That's great.
00:51:45I've never seen you dance better.
00:51:50I want to see you two in my office.
00:51:53Immediately.
00:51:54Yes, sir.
00:51:57Well, we've done it properly this time.
00:52:02Well, I couldn't help it, John Willie.
00:52:03Well, you shouldn't have danced so hard.
00:52:05He wouldn't have heard you then.
00:52:09Come here.
00:52:10Stop crying.
00:52:11Oh, blow.
00:52:15You haven't looked at me, do you?
00:52:17Anyway.
00:52:22That's better.
00:52:24Come here.
00:52:24Let's have a look.
00:52:26All right, now.
00:52:36Now I will tell you of the story
00:52:39Of a fine alpine milkman
00:52:44How they coveted him with glory
00:52:47And it's fine alpine milk can
00:52:52Everybody just adored him
00:52:57While he's gaudled loud and clear
00:53:01Everybody would applaud him
00:53:04Every time that he came near
00:53:08He does not know not he's a demon
00:53:09All he captivated ladies with his
00:53:12Yol-A-I-D.
00:53:14Yol-A-I-D.
00:53:16Yol-A-I-D.
00:53:17Yol-A-I-D.
00:53:18And when I'm he's located with his
00:53:20Yol-A-I-D.
00:53:25And every time he beats a flower, he gets a little thrill, so it takes her out to supper, and
00:53:36always pays a bill with his your lady, your lady.
00:53:41And one day he went up, kissing with this your lady, your lady, your lady.
00:53:49The fishes watched him, swishing with this your lady, your lady, your lady.
00:53:58He went up to the river, and it gave him quite a fright.
00:54:06Or a great big cockfish came along, tried to take a bite of his your lady, your lady.
00:54:14The mountain goat would pay him with this your lady, your lady, your lady.
00:54:22He's ready to come to him with this your lady, your lady, your lady.
00:54:31And the pretty girl, she saw him there, standing there, and always looked.
00:54:38So he chased him down the mountain, and gave him such a book.
00:54:43It is your lady, your lady.
00:55:01Come in.
00:55:07Oh, it's you two, is it?
00:55:09Yes, sir.
00:55:10Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:55:11Er, sit down, will you?
00:55:14Come on, Snooki, you can sit there.
00:55:17Boots?
00:55:18You can sit in my chair.
00:55:24Put your hat on.
00:55:28Now you're me.
00:55:30Oh, no.
00:55:31No, I'm still me.
00:55:32Ha, ha.
00:55:33Come on, have one of my cigars.
00:55:35Help yourself.
00:55:41What do you think of that, eh?
00:55:43No, I wouldn't take your last one.
00:55:46Well, look here, I've some news for you.
00:55:48For some time now,
00:55:51Snooki has been asking me to give you a chance in my cabaret.
00:55:55Well, the opportunity has arrived.
00:55:57I've had trouble with the Consantis,
00:55:59and they won't appear in this hotel again.
00:56:02Does that mean that I'm going to take his place?
00:56:04Yes, it does.
00:56:06And Snooki as well?
00:56:08Yes.
00:56:09Me, Mr. Dawson?
00:56:10Yes, I mean that.
00:56:11Oh, how can I thank you?
00:56:13Oh, that's quite all right.
00:56:15Oh, but I say, what about clothes?
00:56:18We can't go on in these, can we, John Willie?
00:56:21Well, not very well.
00:56:24Did you say you'd have trouble with Cassanti?
00:56:26I certainly did.
00:56:57What happened?
00:56:59Here, take these.
00:57:01Oh!
00:57:03Go and put them on.
00:57:06Tell me, where did you get those clothes?
00:57:08You were right.
00:57:08What do you mean?
00:57:09Cassanti will not appear tonight.
00:57:14Oh, well.
00:57:17That's that.
00:57:42You're right, you're right.
00:57:45You're right, Bregory.
00:57:45Yeah, yeah.
00:57:55That's so all.
00:57:56By the way, you're right, Bregory!
00:57:56Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
00:57:59I'm sorry!
00:58:02That was not a ghost.
00:58:02Yeah, I'm sorry.
00:58:04I'm sorry.
00:58:04You're right.
00:58:04I'm sorry!
00:58:04You're right, man.
00:58:06You're right, man.
00:58:09I'm sorry.
01:00:59Thank you, my dear.
01:00:59Hello, folks.
01:01:01Hello.
01:01:01Well, how are you all enjoying yourselves?
01:01:03Oh, marvellous, Dawson.
01:01:05I wouldn't have missed it for worlds.
01:01:07I told you.
01:01:08Lovely, hon.
01:01:08Well...
01:01:09By the way, is it possible for me to meet one of your artists later on?
01:01:13I think so.
01:01:13Because there's just one face that's terribly familiar to me.
01:01:17Really?
01:01:18I have an idea that I've met her somewhere.
01:01:22I can't think where.
01:01:23Well, I think it can be arranged.
01:01:25Well, I think it can be arranged.
01:01:26See you after the cabaret.
01:01:27We'll come along, Dawson.
01:01:28And you.
01:01:29A bit of a lad, you know.
01:01:45I just can't remember the last time I worked.
01:01:49I just can't remember the last time I worked.
01:01:59But I'm going to rip all my downs looking around
01:02:03For a job that I think I can do
01:02:07I'll just work like a horse
01:02:08There'll be no more remorse
01:02:10And no need for me to feel blue
01:02:13And I went to a race meeting not long ago
01:02:17And watched every jockey that went
01:02:20He just sat on his horse while he covered the course
01:02:24And he got fifty quid when he'd done it
01:02:27Now if I understood horses and you were to ride
01:02:31And worked up a bit of my pants
01:02:34If I were a head stable man to the great Agacan
01:02:38I could make a good living
01:02:40Make a good living
01:02:42Make a good living at last
01:02:45Some cricketers came from Australia one year
01:02:49And the newspapers made so tearful
01:02:52I don't know what the row was about
01:02:55But it seems that they take some cinders from us
01:02:58There was one in particular
01:03:01Don what his name
01:03:03He's the youngest one that gets my goat
01:03:05For a millionaire chap like he's playing so much
01:03:10That he sent him a thousand pound note
01:03:12Now just imagine the lad picking money up so
01:03:16Just because he belongs to a club
01:03:20I could almost repent
01:03:22At the longest I've spent
01:03:23Playing dominoes down at the wall
01:03:26Now if I understood cricket and what it's about
01:03:30And you have to handle a lot
01:03:33If I need Bradman's score of the hundred and four
01:03:37I can make a good living
01:03:39Make a good living
01:03:41Make a good living at last
01:03:58Make a good living at last
01:04:04When I'm
01:04:07All this one is before I get
01:04:09Make a good living at last
01:04:12living, making good living, nicer.
01:04:38Now here's a new amusement that is getting
01:04:42all the rage. You'll find that it's good exercise
01:04:45for both of every age. Now I go there most every night
01:04:50and sometimes take the wine. I've never had so many
01:04:54ups and downs in all me life since I've been sitting on the ice in the ice
01:04:58ring, sitting on the ice from the skates off. It's the finest fun
01:05:02I've ever had. Put it on the ice, it'll never go bad. There's lots of
01:05:06nice young ladies and how I like to tease them if they don't
01:05:10give way or say okay. I sit them on the ice and freeze them
01:05:13but last night I went out walking
01:05:15with a pretty little miss.
01:05:18She said I like you very much and gave me one bit of treats.
01:05:22She was a perfect
01:05:23little blonde and not so very
01:05:26old. She let me over
01:05:28her in the arms but by
01:05:29gone she was cold. But she's been sitting
01:05:32on the ice in the ice ring,
01:05:34sitting on the ice with the skates off.
01:05:36Oh well hot, she must have felt.
01:05:38She sat upon the ice in the ice with the skates off. She was so young and pretty.
01:05:42What a blow that all half
01:05:44dealt her. Oh we couldn't pick her up in the ordinary way. We had to bring the fire and
01:05:48melt her. Last night I went out for a drink down to the cherry tree. I didn't go there by
01:05:55myself,
01:05:56I took some pals with me.
01:05:58We landed home at
01:05:59half past two. I rang the front doorbell.
01:06:02The wife said, where have you been? So I said, you can go to bed because I've been sitting on
01:06:08the
01:06:08ice in the ice ring, sitting on the ice with the skates off. It's the finest
01:06:12fun I've ever had. Put it on the ice, it'll never go bad. The buttons washed up my trousers.
01:06:18And it'll never change my clothes. I've been there until such a candle.
01:06:20Now she doesn't know the seal was on the night like this,
01:06:23And never let you breathe, she's dancing.
01:06:25Tune, tune, tune, tune, tune, tune, tune, tune, tune, tune, tune.
01:06:45Snooki!
01:06:45John Willie, you are marvellous!
01:06:47Not as marvellous as you.
01:06:49Oh, I don't know.
01:06:50Snooki?
01:06:51What?
01:06:51I've got something to say to you.
01:06:53Yes?
01:06:54Well, you know, I've been thinking...
01:06:56Yes, go on.
01:06:58...that someday...
01:06:59Yes?
01:07:00...you and I...
01:07:01Oh, tell me, yes.
01:07:04I don't know how to say it.
01:07:09My office, you two.
01:07:11What, again?
01:07:13At this time to meet my guests.
01:07:16You won't be long, will you?
01:07:18No, we'll be right up, sir.
01:07:21Now tell me.
01:07:22No, I'll tell you what we'll do better than that.
01:07:24What?
01:07:24We'll go and see the manager.
01:07:25Yes.
01:07:26And then I'll tell you after when we're on our own.
01:07:28Come on.
01:07:31Now, Mr Dawson.
01:07:33Yes?
01:07:33Let me congratulate you on a marvellous entertainment.
01:07:37Indeed.
01:07:38Now, that's very, very kind of you to say so.
01:07:40And in future, I want to see you all at my cabarets because I rely upon your patronage.
01:07:46Well...
01:07:47Ah, but wait a moment.
01:07:49I've got a greater surprise for you.
01:07:51You admired my two leading cabaret artists tonight, didn't you?
01:07:55Well, let me tell you this.
01:07:56That boy's the boots here.
01:07:58No.
01:07:59No.
01:08:00And the girl is a scullery maid.
01:08:02No many figures.
01:08:03You don't believe me, do you?
01:08:05Well, they'll be here in a moment.
01:08:08Why are they here now?
01:08:15So it's you, is it?
01:08:17No.
01:08:17Me.
01:08:19Have it your own way.
01:08:22Constance.
01:08:22Lillian.
01:08:24All the people there.
01:08:25What on earth are you doing here?
01:08:27All just working.
01:08:29Listen, everybody.
01:08:31This is my old scorchang of ten years ago.
01:08:35Constance Hawson.
01:08:50Well, hasn't this been a wonderful night?
01:08:53And doesn't it prove that the world is a small place?
01:08:57You and your good lady have found a lease.
01:09:01Lady Royston, an old school friend, and a cabaret.
01:09:04Marvellous success.
01:09:06And everybody's happy.
01:09:08Yeah.
01:09:10Why, where's boots?
01:09:12Oh!
01:09:23Success.
01:09:24What does it mean?
01:09:26Nothing.
01:09:30Now they've taken her away, you're the only pal I've got left.
01:09:33No, not the only one, John Willie.
01:09:38Snooki.
01:09:41You shouldn't have come.
01:09:43You're only making it harder for me.
01:09:46Why?
01:09:47Well, you've found your relations.
01:09:51They've taken you away.
01:09:53Besides, you're an heiress.
01:09:55And I'm still a boots.
01:09:56Shhh.
01:09:57Yes, I know I'm going away, John Willie.
01:10:01But you're coming with me.
01:10:03Me?
01:10:03Yes.
01:10:04Why?
01:10:05Cause baby, baby, you're my sweet heart.
01:10:17I love you, baby.
01:10:24I love you, baby.
01:10:26Baby, say we'll never pass.
01:10:34Although the skies be dreary and gray.
01:10:42Promise me that you'll never stray away, my baby.
01:10:53You'll never stray away, my baby.
01:10:55You'll never stray away, my baby.
01:11:06I love you.
01:11:07Bye.
01:11:09Bye.
01:11:18Please love me.
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