- 2 days ago
First broadcast 7th February 1980.
A weekend seminar for 17 people is held in a London hotel room.
Simon Callow - Max
Deborah Norton - Viv
Alec Sabin - Alec
Dianne Moore - Carmen
Christopher Malcolm - Matt
Malcolm Ingram - Art
Tim Wylton - Malcolm
Linda Marlowe - Kitty
William Russell - Don
June Brown - Melanie
Peter Hughes - Maurice
Carolyn Courage - Trish
Richard Cottan - Ted
Amanda Kirby - Ginny
Mike Grady - Chas
Julia Schofield - Ann
Norma Shebbeare - Maggie
Ellen Sheean - Jean
Michael O'Hagan - Phil (as Michael O'Hagen)
Elizabeth Bell - Di
Sally Avory - Self - Participant
A weekend seminar for 17 people is held in a London hotel room.
Simon Callow - Max
Deborah Norton - Viv
Alec Sabin - Alec
Dianne Moore - Carmen
Christopher Malcolm - Matt
Malcolm Ingram - Art
Tim Wylton - Malcolm
Linda Marlowe - Kitty
William Russell - Don
June Brown - Melanie
Peter Hughes - Maurice
Carolyn Courage - Trish
Richard Cottan - Ted
Amanda Kirby - Ginny
Mike Grady - Chas
Julia Schofield - Ann
Norma Shebbeare - Maggie
Ellen Sheean - Jean
Michael O'Hagan - Phil (as Michael O'Hagen)
Elizabeth Bell - Di
Sally Avory - Self - Participant
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:27Welcome to the U.S. Department of Health and Health.
00:01:01Good evening. That little round was to congratulate you all for taking full responsibility for your decision to attend this
00:01:08preview. My name is Viv, I'm a trainer, this is Carmen, and this is Alec. We welcome you to the
00:01:16preview and are here to answer all your questions on the forthcoming Avatar Weekend Seminar.
00:01:20But before we get into talking about the seminar, have any of you ever experienced that icky feeling when you
00:01:27talk to someone? You know, you don't get a response? Yeah?
00:01:30Well, I'm going to ask some of you to say a few words on how you came to hear of
00:01:34Avatar, and I'd like the rest of you to acknowledge that person by applauding them when they finish speaking. Okay?
00:01:40Okay, great. Ted.
00:01:46I'm Edward Wardle, and someone at work had done it. Terrific, Ted. Anything else?
00:01:55No. Ted, that was terrific. Thank you. Everybody?
00:02:03Let me ask you, Ted. How did it feel to get that response?
00:02:07Well, it was very nice.
00:02:08Fabulous, Ted. Thank you.
00:02:13Okay, who's next? Kitty?
00:02:15Hi, I'm Kitty Mandel. I don't have a complex about my age. I'm over 17, and I don't care who
00:02:21knows it.
00:02:23My husband divorced me after he did the seminar, so I'm halfway to paradise.
00:02:28Kitty, that was fabulous. Thank you.
00:02:33Now, before we go on, do you get what a great atmosphere we've got going here? No awkwardness?
00:02:39Alec?
00:02:39Terrific.
00:02:40Carmen?
00:02:40Great.
00:02:41Great. Okay, who's next? Morris?
00:02:44Oh, thank you.
00:02:45I'm Morris Ann Holt, and my dear wife, Jean, here, has done the seminar, and I can't tell you the
00:02:51change in her.
00:02:52She's much happier. Gets so much done about the house. You know, washing up, that sort of thing.
00:03:00Morris, that was terrific. Thank you.
00:03:04Okay. Phil?
00:03:07Phil Strickland, Export Consultant. May I ask you a question?
00:03:11Certainly, Phil.
00:03:12Is all this bloody applause necessary?
00:03:15Did you have a particular reason for asking that question, Phil?
00:03:18Yeah, because I've got an icky feeling caused by all this phony jocularity, and it's making me nauseous.
00:03:24Well, maybe that's your problem.
00:03:26Phil, can I ask, how did you come to here at the seminar?
00:03:29My secretary did it, and she had a nervous breakdown two days later.
00:03:33She was six weeks in hospital, and when she got out, she quit and came to work for you lot.
00:03:36What was your secretary's name, Phil?
00:03:39Cynthia Newton.
00:03:40Cindy.
00:03:41Well, Cindy no longer works for our organization. In fact, we've no idea where she is now.
00:03:47Phil, did you know that Cindy had suffered breakdowns on two previous occasions before ever doing the seminar?
00:03:53When you enroll for the seminar, you'll be asked if you've ever been hospitalized for psychiatric treatment or whether you're
00:03:58currently in therapy.
00:04:00We contact your therapist, and if he recommends that you do not enroll, we abide by his decision.
00:04:05Cindy chose not to reveal her medical history.
00:04:08Thank you, Phil.
00:04:13Now, perhaps would be a good time for all those graduates who have not had a nervous breakdown, and who
00:04:18are present here tonight, to share their experience of the seminar with us, and then we'll answer some of your
00:04:24questions.
00:04:25Okay? Okay. Alec.
00:04:28Well, I always used to think of myself as a rather dour and humorless person.
00:04:32Oh, sure.
00:04:33Oh, sure.
00:04:34And I was right.
00:04:37And I'm confronting that now, and I'm a much better person.
00:04:42I've been with Avatar now for eight months, and, well, I'm doing things I never dreamed possible.
00:04:49I work for the organization.
00:04:51How much do you get paid?
00:04:52Phil, we have a procedure going here.
00:04:54If you want to ask a question, would you put up your hand? I'll call out your name. Okay?
00:04:57Okey-dokey.
00:04:59No, I'm sorry, Phil. Not until Alec has finished speaking.
00:05:02Oh, I've finished.
00:05:03Good. How much do you get paid?
00:05:04Phil, would you put up your hand?
00:05:06Okay, great.
00:05:08So?
00:05:08Well, I work for the organization in my spare time.
00:05:12Voluntarily.
00:05:13Funny you should say that.
00:05:15So did my ex-secretary.
00:05:18Phil, Avatar has a nuclear staff who are fully paid.
00:05:22Myself, for one.
00:05:23I'm its administrator.
00:05:24That we are assisted in our ever-increasing workload by graduates such as Carmen and Alec, out of the kindness
00:05:31of their hearts, only goes to indicate their faith in the validity of Avatar.
00:05:37Thank you, Phil.
00:05:38Thank you, Phil.
00:05:41Thank you, Phil.
00:06:05Carmen?
00:06:05I'm the bugaboos.
00:06:07Now I'm having a great time.
00:06:09I'm doing really well.
00:06:11I'm confronting this.
00:06:13And I'm just having a great time.
00:06:22Well, now you've all got some idea of what goes on in the seminar.
00:06:26Now we'd like you to ask any questions you like.
00:06:29Okay?
00:06:30Trish.
00:06:30Well, what's Avatar?
00:06:32What does it mean?
00:06:33It's a Hindu word.
00:06:35Metamorphosis.
00:06:36Melanie?
00:06:37So what is it?
00:06:38Some kind of psychotherapy?
00:06:40Good question, Melanie.
00:06:42Alec, perhaps you'd like to answer that one.
00:06:43Sure thing.
00:06:44We prefer to think of Avatar as something more unique than that.
00:06:49Certainly, Maximilian Schreiber, our founder, studied in consultation with psychiatrists at the University of Los Angeles.
00:06:56But he also traveled to India and China, working with mystics and gurus there, taking the best of what his
00:07:03colleagues could offer, and disregarding what was inappropriate.
00:07:08Yes.
00:07:09But what happens at the seminar?
00:07:12Well, because of the nature of the seminar, we can't disclose that.
00:07:17Thank you, Melanie.
00:07:18Oh, great.
00:07:18You mean to say, we've been half an hour for anybody who can tend to partner their money and not
00:07:22be told what happens here.
00:07:24Done?
00:07:24Well, yes, it does seem that we ought to know a little more of what is involved, Viv.
00:07:30Perhaps I can help.
00:07:33Phil, do you know what an onion is?
00:07:36An onion?
00:07:36How it's made.
00:07:38It isn't made, it grows.
00:07:39Exactly!
00:07:40It grows.
00:07:42Now, how does it grow?
00:07:44How is it formed?
00:07:46Yes, Ginny?
00:07:46It's got layers.
00:07:47Terrific, Ginny!
00:07:48Right on!
00:07:49We'll peel off all the layers and make you nothing.
00:07:53Once you're nothing, you're on the path to somethingness!
00:08:02Phil, may I ask, are you here because you genuinely want to do the seminar?
00:08:06No, you may not ask.
00:08:07I don't think you are.
00:08:09Well, maybe that's your problem, Viv.
00:08:11Yes, Malcolm?
00:08:11How much does it cost?
00:08:13Thank you, Malcolm.
00:08:14We'll have to hand you over to our accounts department for that one.
00:08:17Alec?
00:08:18Sure thing.
00:08:19The seminar lasts three days, Friday to Sunday, with a briefing evening on Thursday.
00:08:24Each day lasts from 9 o'clock in the morning until midnight.
00:08:27And the total cost is 182 pounds and 35p, including VAT.
00:08:37Yes, Phil?
00:08:38Your founder, Maximilian Schreiber.
00:08:41Do we pronounce it Maximilian or Maximilian?
00:08:45It's a small sum of money to turn your life around full circle, Phil.
00:08:49Let me ask you, do you hate yourself so much you value your life less than 182 pounds?
00:08:57Thank you, Phil.
00:09:01Ah, hello, Mr. Brack.
00:09:03It's Garforth.
00:09:04I phone you up.
00:09:05Forth.
00:09:05Th.
00:09:06That's right.
00:09:08Well, I've got something that might be of interest.
00:09:10It's an organization where people pay 180 quid to be locked in a room for three days.
00:09:13And they don't get anything for it as far as I can see.
00:09:16Oh, it's a rip-off.
00:09:16I want to do a hatchet job.
00:09:24No, I can't just write it up.
00:09:26I have to do the course and it costs...
00:09:27Well, that's right.
00:09:29Including VAT.
00:09:30Well, listen, I spent last night with three mindless robots.
00:09:33Trainers, they call themselves,
00:09:35who came in the space of three days to have found the answer to eternity.
00:09:39Yes, I know Darwin took a bit longer.
00:09:41But, listen, over 2,000 people have paid through the nose for it.
00:09:44I mean, you know the types.
00:09:44I'm dull and boring, right?
00:09:46I'm lonely since my wife ran off with an insecticide manufacturer.
00:09:51Yes, certainly.
00:09:53Two o'clock, I'll be there.
00:09:56He's taking me to lunch.
00:09:57Lunch.
00:09:58Well, Clowman's.
00:10:30Yes, well, it was all on the cards.
00:11:07Why are they standing like that?
00:11:10Oh, all part of the technique, I expect.
00:11:13Well, I find it very ill.
00:11:14Shut up!
00:11:25Is anybody sitting next to someone they knew prior to the seminar?
00:11:41It is now 9.05 a.m.
00:11:44You have been in the seminar room for precisely two minutes,
00:11:48and already you have broken the house rules as laid out at your briefing last night.
00:11:53Shut up, bitch!
00:12:01I will now outline the house rules.
00:12:05One, no trainee shall talk to another trainee in the seminar room at any time.
00:12:12Two, no trainee shall speak to a trainer in the seminar room at any time.
00:12:19Three, no trainee may speak at all unless he raises his hand and is summoned by the oracle.
00:12:29He will stand and speak only to the oracle.
00:12:33He will not resume his seat until the oracle has dismissed him.
00:12:39Four, this seminar is now in session.
00:12:42Seven, it will last for 15 hours.
00:12:45Shut up!
00:12:50There will be a one-hour dinner break.
00:12:53Five, there will be no smoking in the seminar room.
00:12:58No alcohol or artificial stimulants may be taken at any time over the next three days.
00:13:06Six, all timepieces and watches will be lodged with the trainers.
00:13:12Seven, there will be no note-taking unless specified by the oracle.
00:13:21Eight, no trainee may leave the seminar room for any reason whatever.
00:13:29Nine, if a trainee feels the need to vomit, you will raise your hand and a sick bag will be
00:13:36brought to you by a trainer.
00:13:38You will remain seated and vomit into the bag.
00:13:42The bag will then be disposed of by a trainer.
00:13:50At your briefing, you signed an agreement to keep the house rules.
00:13:55You have now learned to keep agreements.
00:14:00Congratulations.
00:14:22Face front, bitch!
00:14:24Who the bloody hell do you think...
00:14:26You are an asshole.
00:14:27The agreements have just been read out to you and still you are breaking them.
00:14:31Your assholeness will not be tolerated.
00:14:34Stand up.
00:14:34Look, if you want to...
00:14:35Shut up!
00:14:35Stand up!
00:14:46Stand up!
00:14:48My name is Max Schreiber.
00:14:50I am your oracle and you are 20 assholes.
00:14:54I am your oracle because my life works.
00:14:56You are assholes because your lives don't work.
00:14:59You are here because your lives don't work.
00:15:03Stand up!
00:15:04Haven't finished with you yet.
00:15:05You're thinking it's pretty stupid keeping agreements, right?
00:15:08Right.
00:15:08I get that.
00:15:09Do you get that you're an asshole?
00:15:11As you provided us with name tags and insist on calling us assholes, I can only surmise
00:15:15that you haven't yet learned to read.
00:15:16Then you're a cute asshole.
00:15:18Do you get that?
00:15:18I'm not acquainted with your term of reference.
00:15:20Is it a medical expression?
00:15:21An asshole is a waste disposal unit dumping garbage and excreta.
00:15:25That is its sole purpose.
00:15:27You are an asshole.
00:15:29Well, I am delighted to make your acquaintance on what do you base your most interesting hypothesis.
00:15:33Why did you enroll in this seminar?
00:15:35Well, it intrigued me.
00:15:36But you paid 180 pounds to be locked in a hotel room for three days because you were a
00:15:40never intrigued.
00:15:41Only an asshole would do that.
00:15:44Perhaps it was more than just curiosity.
00:15:47May I sit down?
00:15:49No!
00:15:50Do all the other assholes get that?
00:15:52The moment I suggest that perhaps Kitty enroll for a more serious purpose, she asks to sit
00:15:58down.
00:15:59You see, Kitty, it's really quite simple.
00:16:01You break agreements every day because you refuse to accept responsibility for the screw-up
00:16:06you call your life.
00:16:07The next eight hours are going to be spent teaching you assholes not to break agreements
00:16:12before the seminar can even begin.
00:16:14And you know what?
00:16:14You'll still break them.
00:16:16An asshole is a person that cannot keep agreements.
00:16:20That's why your lives are screwed up.
00:16:22And that's why you're going to pay me nearly 200 pounds to call you assholes.
00:16:26Crazy, right?
00:16:28Thank you, asshole.
00:16:29Congratulations.
00:16:31Melanie.
00:16:40You may speak.
00:16:42Look, I understand the need to keep agreements here and that they correspond with agreements
00:16:46in our daily lives.
00:16:46But why do you need to shout when you have such derogatory phraseology?
00:16:50It just seems gratuitous.
00:16:51Yeah.
00:16:52Stand up.
00:16:52Shut up.
00:16:53Not just now.
00:16:54Very well.
00:16:54Go to the back of the room, hand your name tag in and leave.
00:16:59Stay standing, Melanie.
00:17:00I haven't finished with you.
00:17:01Do I get my money back?
00:17:03Of course not.
00:17:04Well, I don't think you do very well in court on that score.
00:17:06You throw me out and refuse to refund my money.
00:17:09You all signed one overriding agreement.
00:17:12Can anyone remember what it was?
00:17:17Anyone?
00:17:20Great.
00:17:22Oh, Ted.
00:17:23Yes, Ted.
00:17:29We undertake to do all that is required of us for the duration of the seminar.
00:17:35Very good, Ted.
00:17:37Oh, everybody.
00:17:40Doing all that is required means keeping agreements.
00:17:44Malcolm has chosen not to.
00:17:45Malcolm has chosen to accept responsibility for breaking agreements.
00:17:50So who's throwing who out of the seminar, Malk?
00:17:55Oh, what happens if I stand up?
00:17:57You remake your agreement.
00:18:03Do you admit that you broke an agreement?
00:18:05If you say so.
00:18:06Not if I say so!
00:18:08How long, you assholes?
00:18:09Going to keep putting the blame on everyone else for the decisions you alone make.
00:18:13You are responsible for your lives and decisions.
00:18:17Not God.
00:18:18Not the milkman.
00:18:20Not your Jewish mama who locked you in the coal cellar for playing with your doodah on bath night.
00:18:25You, irresponsible robots, are responsible.
00:18:29You and you alone.
00:18:31Do you get that?
00:18:33Are you willing to remake your agreement?
00:18:36Very well, then.
00:18:37Yes.
00:18:38Good.
00:18:39Thank you, Malcolm.
00:18:40Congratulations.
00:18:42Come on, everybody.
00:18:45Okay, Melanie.
00:18:46Well, yes.
00:18:48But as Kitty said earlier, you've given us name tags.
00:18:50Why refer to us as assholes?
00:18:52I think you're just trying to create an effect.
00:18:54Quit.
00:18:54You don't like me calling you asshole.
00:18:56I'll call you Superman.
00:18:58What do you get?
00:18:59Life any better?
00:19:00Turn around 180 degrees?
00:19:01Are you enlightened?
00:19:03Have you got all you wanted from the seminar?
00:19:05Well, of course not.
00:19:06Of course not.
00:19:07Nothing's changed.
00:19:08I can call you Superman till the day you die, Melanie.
00:19:11And you know what?
00:19:12What?
00:19:12You'll still be an asshole.
00:19:14Thank you, Melanie.
00:19:16Yes, yes.
00:19:18Look, I'm getting really pissed off.
00:19:20I didn't spend my money to talk about the use of the word arsehole.
00:19:23What do you want us to do?
00:19:25Well, Chaz, the trick is not to resist being an asshole.
00:19:32Well, experience your assholeness.
00:19:34Acknowledge it.
00:19:35And guess what happens?
00:19:39Ginny.
00:19:40We're no longer assholes.
00:19:42Right.
00:19:42Thank you very much, Ginny.
00:19:46During the next weekend, you're all going to experience every negative emotion you've spent
00:19:50your whole lives running away from fear, anger, nausea, vomiting.
00:19:56You're all going to find ways of resisting your real feelings.
00:19:59You'll faint, throw up, fall asleep, anything to avoid those unpleasant feelings you've submerged for years.
00:20:07Thank you, Chaz.
00:20:10Don.
00:20:11I'm sorry, but I agree with Melanie.
00:20:14I really find it very offensive.
00:20:17I'm not prudish, but being religious, I find that's a...
00:20:19Oh, you're religious, are you, Don?
00:20:20You believe in God?
00:20:21Well, yes.
00:20:22You experience God?
00:20:23Sorry?
00:20:24Perfectly simple question, Don.
00:20:25Have you experienced God?
00:20:27You mean, have I seen him?
00:20:28Her?
00:20:29She's a she.
00:20:31How do you know that?
00:20:32About as surely as you know he's a he.
00:20:35Well, have you experienced her?
00:20:36Shaken her by the hand?
00:20:38Met her?
00:20:38Taken her to Harrod's winter sale?
00:20:40I see what you're trying to do.
00:20:41You're trying to make me angry to attack my beliefs.
00:20:44Exactly, Don.
00:20:45Attack your beliefs.
00:20:47Sorry, Don.
00:20:47Do you believe in the tie you're wearing?
00:20:49What?
00:20:49Do you believe in my blazer, a kiddie Chanel No. 5, Ginny's bangle?
00:20:54Well, of course I don't believe in them as such.
00:20:56They're just here.
00:20:58So what do you do with them now?
00:20:59They're here.
00:21:01I don't follow you.
00:21:02You experience them.
00:21:04Get it, asshole?
00:21:05Well, yes, but you're all stuck in your beliefs.
00:21:10The world is full of beliefs, and the world does not work.
00:21:14Don believes in God.
00:21:15Kitty believes in the analyst she's visited unsuccessfully for the last 14 years.
00:21:21And Malcolm believes I'm the biggest charlatan since Nostradamus.
00:21:25I'm sorry, Max, but you have to have beliefs.
00:21:28Otherwise...
00:21:35Otherwise, we're no better than the animals.
00:21:37Belief in God means that you have something to...
00:21:39Let me tell you about God, Don.
00:21:41One eternity, God was sitting in her bubble bath, shaving her legs, and she felt kind of lonely.
00:21:50So she created this guy, Adam, to keep her a bit of company.
00:21:54Well, conversation ran out rather quickly, because God's a pretty fickle girl.
00:21:59So next time, she created a girlfriend.
00:22:02Lots more to talk about.
00:22:04Hairdos, economy, washing pots.
00:22:06Of course, all this happened a long, long time ago, Don.
00:22:09Now she's got so many of you to keep her eye on, she's kept pretty busy.
00:22:13Rarely puts in a public appearance.
00:22:15But you go on believing in her, Don.
00:22:17Put your life in her hands.
00:22:18Join the queue.
00:22:19And see if she cares.
00:22:21I get the impression that whatever we say here, we lose.
00:22:24Once you realize that, you start to win.
00:22:26Thank you, Don.
00:22:30Yes, Dredge.
00:22:31Look, I've been sitting here for I don't know how long because you've confiscated my wristwatch.
00:22:36We've been bullied and insulted and intimidated by your Gestapo tactics
00:22:41and heard your silly little theories lifted out of teach-yourself psychology, and I've taken it.
00:22:45But I'm not going to sit here and listen to you insult women with your sexist view of God Almighty.
00:22:51Beautiful, Trish, a feminist.
00:22:53No seminar complete without one.
00:22:55You know what you are, don't you, Trish?
00:22:56Yeah, an asshole.
00:22:57No, no, no.
00:22:58You're an asshole ass.
00:23:00The inferior female gender.
00:23:02You see, Trish, all women, especially liberated women, are second-class citizens in male society.
00:23:08I'm leaving.
00:23:08Hand your name tag in, dear.
00:23:13Go on, Trish.
00:23:14I give you permission to remain an asshole ass, so you can go on blaming the vote, job
00:23:20differentiation, Burt Reynolds, the Stockton Building Society, anything to avoid the onus
00:23:26of responsibility.
00:23:28Bastard!
00:23:28Bastard!
00:23:29Or you can stay behind and find out he's really responsible, who really made you a second-class
00:23:34citizen.
00:23:34You see, what this seminar's all about is really very, very simple.
00:23:38Once you realize that you ain't got it, you got it.
00:23:42Or to put in another way...
00:23:44Ginny!
00:23:44I think I've got it.
00:23:45I think I've got it.
00:23:46Go on, Ginny!
00:23:47I wish to share that I fully acknowledge that I am an arsehole.
00:23:51Terrific!
00:23:52Thank you, Ginny!
00:23:54Very good!
00:23:57Yes, Anne!
00:24:00Could I...
00:24:01The sick bank, please?
00:24:10And I love this woman at my bank.
00:24:15Oh, I'm devoted to my wife and children, but...
00:24:22I love her.
00:24:27Although I know she's only using our affair to further her own career.
00:24:38I just feel trapped.
00:24:42Are you able to locate what it is you want from the seminar?
00:24:45Yes, I am.
00:24:46Good.
00:24:47Then by Sunday, you'll succeed.
00:24:49Thank you, Don.
00:24:55Okay, Kitty.
00:24:56God.
00:24:56Charlotte!
00:24:57Now what have I done?
00:24:58Don't break agreements, get it?
00:25:00Do you get that?
00:25:02No, you can stop sharing that.
00:25:02Do you get that?
00:25:03Yes, yes, I do.
00:25:04Good.
00:25:05Why did you enroll in the seminar?
00:25:06Curiosity.
00:25:08Kitty, there must be something very deep about you that makes you so shallow.
00:25:13All right.
00:25:15Well, I...
00:25:18I suppose I'm over-sexed.
00:25:20That's a problem?
00:25:21Well, it always has been in the past.
00:25:22I kept meeting these lonely guys who wanted a wife.
00:25:25I'd end up in their beds when they discovered I was one.
00:25:28Okay.
00:25:29What about now that you're single?
00:25:31I keep meeting husbands.
00:25:32Cut the wisecracks, bitch!
00:25:35Now look, will you stop shouting at me?
00:25:37I won't have you shouting at me.
00:25:38You're a bloody bully and ignorant.
00:25:39Don't shout!
00:25:40Who shouted, Kitty?
00:25:40What?!
00:25:41Who shouted first, originally?
00:25:47It's happening again.
00:25:50I...
00:25:51I can hear a...
00:25:53a chair being thrown against the door.
00:25:57A slap.
00:26:00A clatter like glass being broken.
00:26:02I...
00:26:03I...
00:26:04I run down the stairs.
00:26:06And I open the door.
00:26:10They're locked together.
00:26:13My mother's nose is blooded and...
00:26:17She's crying.
00:26:20My father keeps hitting her.
00:26:23She's clinging to him so that he can't gain any impetus.
00:26:26I always remember that.
00:26:32I...
00:26:33I...
00:26:33I...
00:26:33I'm watching.
00:26:35I'm petrified.
00:26:38He sees me.
00:26:40Get out, you bloody little cow!
00:26:43Well, you're the cause of all this!
00:26:45I keep yelling, Mommy, Mommy!
00:26:47Ah-ha!
00:26:50She's crying so much.
00:26:52She...
00:26:53She can't hear.
00:27:01Ah-ha!
00:27:04Ah-ha!
00:27:05Ah-ha!
00:27:06Ah-ha!
00:27:08Ah-ha!
00:27:08Ah-ha!
00:27:08Go back to bed, you bloody little brat!
00:27:12Ah-ha!
00:27:13Ah-ha!
00:27:13I run up the stairs.
00:27:16I hear him cursing.
00:27:18Ah-ha!
00:27:19I can't!
00:27:20I...
00:27:22I...
00:27:22I can't go on anymore!
00:27:24Ah-ha!
00:27:25Okay, Kitty.
00:27:26That was good.
00:27:28Later, I'll be talking about the anatomy of the mind.
00:27:31I want you to remember what you just shared.
00:27:36Do you all get what happened here?
00:27:39Morris?
00:27:40I get it.
00:27:42Kitty's over-sexed because of a childhood experience involving a man.
00:27:47In this case, her father.
00:27:49And now requires a substitute.
00:27:52Now, the lack of love...
00:27:53Right there, Morris.
00:27:57It probably has nothing whatever to do with Kitty's being over-sexed,
00:28:01but you can be damn sure it has everything to do with my shouting at her.
00:28:05And it possibly has everything to do with Kitty being over-sexed.
00:28:09Why did you enroll in the seminar?
00:28:11I...
00:28:12Please, I...
00:28:12I've told you...
00:28:15I...
00:28:15I enjoy sex, Jim.
00:28:17Who says so?
00:28:19I say so.
00:28:20No, no.
00:28:20What tells you the enjoyment of sex is wrong?
00:28:24Anyone?
00:28:25Chaz?
00:28:26Society.
00:28:27Nope.
00:28:27Anyone else?
00:28:28Jimmy!
00:28:29Your mind.
00:28:30Very good.
00:28:30Your mind.
00:28:31And what do you do with your mind?
00:28:32You think.
00:28:33You think.
00:28:34Thank you, Ginny!
00:28:38Ladies and gentlemen, I give you CON!
00:28:41Short for Conceptual Thinking.
00:28:43Responsible for every evil known to mankind.
00:28:46Responsible for napalm babies in Vietnam,
00:28:49wife-bashing in Wapping,
00:28:51the fall of the Roman Empire,
00:28:52and Kitty's problem with sex.
00:28:54Is it a problem when you're doing it?
00:28:56No.
00:28:56No, damn right it isn't.
00:28:57Experience of a lifetime.
00:28:58Right then along comes con.
00:29:00And it says,
00:29:01Kitty, this is wrong.
00:29:03The cabinet minister's career will be in ruins.
00:29:05You'll be cited as correspondent.
00:29:07In essence, con has decided to make the experience bad.
00:29:12An experience is whatever you choose it to be.
00:29:16Get it?
00:29:17Get out of your beliefs.
00:29:19Get out of the clutches of con.
00:29:22The purpose of the mind is the survival of the being.
00:29:26Whatever the being chooses to be.
00:29:28It therefore limits experience to what the mind deems safe.
00:29:33Your life is not in your own hands.
00:29:36It is in the clutches of con.
00:29:39Yes, Chance?
00:29:39My mind is my own.
00:29:41It exists because I exist.
00:29:42Run!
00:29:42It is a totally separate entity.
00:29:45Sorry, I don't follow that.
00:29:47Do you know what the ego is?
00:29:48What?
00:29:48No, no.
00:29:49No, you don't.
00:29:49Neither did Freud.
00:29:50The ego results from when the being thinks it is the mind.
00:29:57Sorry, I'm...
00:29:58The purpose of the mind is the survival of the being, right?
00:30:01And the being thinks it is the mind.
00:30:03What, then, is the purpose of the mind?
00:30:08The survival of the mind.
00:30:10The survival of the mind!
00:30:11Thank you, Kitty!
00:30:12The mind exists for its own survival.
00:30:15And that includes its con, its reasonableness, its beliefs.
00:30:19The mind survives by proving itself right.
00:30:23Max, what I do I don't think is right.
00:30:25Yes, you do it all the more, right?
00:30:26Yes, I do.
00:30:27Okay, I want you to take as your factor your guilt.
00:30:29Don't resist it.
00:30:30Confront it.
00:30:31And by Sunday, I guarantee you, your problem with your promiscuity will vanish.
00:30:35You'll find out what Khan's really been up to.
00:30:37I suggest to you, Kitty, that it's been stopping you from knowing men.
00:30:40That you've never known men.
00:30:42That you're incapable of knowing men.
00:30:44Because Khan has decided to protect you from men.
00:30:48Do you undertake to vanish your disgust by fully re-experiencing it?
00:30:55Yes.
00:30:55Good.
00:30:56Then by Sunday, you'll succeed.
00:30:57Thank you, Kitty.
00:31:00Later, we'll be doing a process called The Exorcism of Khan.
00:31:04You'll melt your thinking brains into experiencing brains.
00:31:07Yes, Malcolm.
00:31:08If we keep the agreements, are we allowed to ask anything we like in this seminar?
00:31:12Do you have a specific question, Malcolm?
00:31:15Hmm.
00:31:15Are you using the standard brainwashing technique, or is it one entirely of your own devising?
00:31:22Anne?
00:31:24Why did you ask for a sick bag earlier?
00:31:29Because I felt sick, I needed to vomit.
00:31:30Right.
00:31:31Take the sick bag, go over to Malcolm and empty the contents over his head.
00:31:37Pardon?
00:31:37The sick bag, Anne.
00:31:39Take it over to Malcolm and empty it over his head.
00:31:41But there's hardly any...
00:31:41Do it now!
00:31:46Look, I really must have a tester.
00:32:10Look...
00:32:10You don't want to vomit anymore.
00:32:11Thank you, Anne.
00:32:12Terrific!
00:32:14I hope you get that, asshole.
00:32:16It works!
00:32:17Stay with your factor.
00:32:18Don't resist it.
00:32:19And what happens?
00:32:21You ain't got a factor no more.
00:32:23That's just basic auto-suggestion.
00:32:25The brainwashing I'm referring to has nothing to do with that!
00:32:28This whole thing is rigged!
00:32:31Why are the curtains always drawn?
00:32:32Why are we here for 15 hours?
00:32:34Why aren't we allowed to talk to anyone, only to you?
00:32:36Ah, yes.
00:32:37Divide and rule.
00:32:38When I was in the army...
00:32:39Well, I'll tell you why!
00:32:40Because in the end, there's only one mind.
00:32:42One con man does a thinking.
00:32:44Max Schreiber!
00:32:45Fine, hand your name tag in and leave.
00:32:48Be very careful, Max.
00:32:50There are 25 people listening to this.
00:32:52You're playing right into my hands.
00:32:54Bullshit!
00:32:55I hope you all get that.
00:32:56I'm playing into his hands!
00:32:59Malcolm wants to be Malcolm, right?
00:33:01If Malcolm really was Malcolm,
00:33:03if old Khan wasn't plugged into its survival kit,
00:33:06then Malcolm wouldn't have to keep resisting.
00:33:08We've been here for eight hours,
00:33:10and Malcolm's mind is still telling him to resist experience.
00:33:15The purpose of the mind is its own survival, remember?
00:33:18Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Malcolm!
00:33:20So who's the robot now, Malcolm?
00:33:23Go on, hand your name tag in and leave.
00:33:24And before you even say it,
00:33:25I'm gonna give you your money back.
00:33:27Common checkbook!
00:33:28See, Malcolm, we don't need your opinions and beliefs here.
00:33:31Assholes who cling to their beliefs have to be dealt with.
00:33:35Well, what do I have to do to stay?
00:33:38Don't think about the seminar, Malcolm.
00:33:41Just experience it.
00:33:43And if what you're experiencing is fear of brainwashing, then fine.
00:33:47Take that as your factor, and by Sunday I guarantee you it will disappear.
00:33:50Of course, it seems to me to be an awful waste of time to participate in the seminar,
00:33:55to eradicate your fear of being brainwashed by a seminar.
00:34:00If I were you, I'd take as your factor that Australian hang-up of yours.
00:34:05Thank you, Malcolm.
00:34:12Thank you, Malcolm.
00:34:15You feel so confused.
00:34:17That's great.
00:34:17Max said you were.
00:34:18It's just the whole belief system is being turned upside down.
00:34:21Fabulous.
00:34:22I want to come up to everyone I meet and share myself.
00:34:25I just love everybody.
00:34:29Bastards.
00:34:30I wouldn't have come.
00:34:31What are they doing to us?
00:34:32And those zombies.
00:34:33Don't let them fool you.
00:34:35They want you to react like that.
00:34:36Don, I'm frightened.
00:34:38Do you think they're very able to hear?
00:34:40Oh, I'm sure they do.
00:34:41I don't know.
00:34:41I didn't think it would be like this.
00:34:43My dear wife Jean, you know.
00:34:45My daughter.
00:34:46They get these new fangled ideas.
00:34:48But my problem is, I haven't got any problems.
00:34:52Except for my dear wife Jean.
00:34:56I find the physiology so phony.
00:34:58Factors, yeah.
00:35:00Ah.
00:35:00Exactly.
00:35:02Maybe they're right.
00:35:03It's just experience the seminar.
00:35:06What have we got to lose?
00:35:07I can't eat a thing.
00:35:08I'm too upset.
00:35:09Now I'm into Eastern philosophy.
00:35:11What do you do?
00:35:13I work for the L.E.B.
00:35:14Oh.
00:35:15How about you?
00:35:17Oh, I met everything.
00:35:19Dancer.
00:35:20Actress.
00:35:20I hated it.
00:35:22Then I worked for Cosmos as a courier in Milan.
00:35:24And then I was in the tour student.
00:35:25I think still Holly.
00:35:26Maybe that's your problem.
00:35:28You don't need this.
00:35:29How do you know?
00:35:31You seem to be a very stable person.
00:35:33I didn't know you better.
00:35:35I'd say that sounded like a lie.
00:35:37You don't know me better.
00:35:38You don't know me better.
00:35:39What do you do?
00:35:41I'm a bank manager with the Nat General.
00:35:42Oh, whereabouts?
00:35:43In marketing.
00:35:44Just outside London.
00:35:46And you?
00:35:47Advertising, wouldn't you know.
00:35:48Oh.
00:35:49How are you good fashion?
00:35:50Oh, that's nice.
00:35:52Now I'm bloody married.
00:35:54But I still work.
00:35:56Ciderette.
00:35:56Oh, yes.
00:35:57I don't need it.
00:36:00God, I need a joke.
00:36:01You're breaking an agreement.
00:36:03Maybe.
00:36:03Isn't it strange.
00:36:06Twenty-four hours ago we were total strangers and now...
00:36:12You don't think I'm shallow, do you?
00:36:14Well, I don't really know you.
00:36:17Tell me something.
00:36:19Yes.
00:36:20You knew the bag was empty, didn't you?
00:36:22No.
00:36:23But why were you prepared?
00:36:24Because I would have won.
00:36:27My first job was in the chorus, a review in Portugal, topless in Gaza.
00:36:33Have you ever meditated?
00:36:35The young and gullible, the rich and the desperate.
00:36:41From which category do you belong?
00:36:43Ah.
00:36:45The real question is, who will get sucked in?
00:36:48Sucked in?
00:36:49Yeah.
00:36:49Once they've got you, they sell you more seminars.
00:36:52Provided you introduce more people to the first one.
00:36:55Pyramid selling.
00:36:56I was concerned, imagine it.
00:36:58Allow me.
00:36:59Oh, thank you.
00:37:02Would you like one?
00:37:03No, thanks.
00:37:04I don't suppose.
00:37:04My clients invariably do.
00:37:07You know that problem I was experiencing with men?
00:37:12In the process?
00:37:14Yes.
00:37:15Well, you see, I'm...
00:37:17I'm experiencing it now, with you.
00:37:21Oh, dear.
00:37:22Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:24You must think I'm awful.
00:37:26Think now only of your brain.
00:37:31Keep breathing.
00:37:33But think of your brain.
00:37:36Imagine it floating lightly around your skull.
00:37:41Slowly, it turns to jelly.
00:37:44Piece by piece, it turns to jelly.
00:37:50Slithers out of the skull.
00:37:54Down the throat.
00:37:57Down.
00:37:59Down.
00:38:00Into the abdomen.
00:38:06Slowly, the pieces of jelly.
00:38:09Form into a yellow-colored light.
00:38:13Light.
00:38:14It's brighter.
00:38:17And brighter.
00:38:20Glows.
00:38:22Shimmers.
00:38:26It is a new brain.
00:38:29An experiencing brain.
00:38:33The light.
00:38:35Of experience.
00:38:37As your new brain starts to come to life.
00:38:40It emits its own sound.
00:38:44Don't resist it.
00:38:46Let it speak.
00:38:48Let it speak.
00:38:50Remember your fact.
00:38:54The sad sound.
00:38:58Lonesome.
00:39:02Angry.
00:39:06Terrified.
00:39:10Breathe.
00:39:12Keep your eyes closed.
00:39:16Close your eyes.
00:39:26Close your eyes closed.
00:39:29Close your eyes closed.
00:39:31Close your eyes closed.
00:39:32Close your eyes closed.
00:39:33Close your eyes closed.
00:39:34Close your eyes closed.
00:39:38Close your eyes closed.
00:39:39Close your eyes closed.
00:39:42Close your eyes closed.
00:39:46Close your eyes closed.
00:39:48Close your eyes closed.
00:39:49Close your eyes closed.
00:39:49Close your eyes closed.
00:39:56hello darling don't you know what time it is? sorry did I wake you? no I always walk around
00:40:02the house at three o'clock in the morning. just have to get it typed up while it's still in
00:40:05my
00:40:06mind. didn't you take any notes? only a few they forbid it. I thought it was supposed to be a
00:40:11seminar. it is but they don't want rivals bad for business.
00:40:19don't you want to know what happened? don't switch the light on when you come in.
00:40:27what are you doing? nothing darling. go to sleep. you said you'd leave me a napkin here. is daddy back
00:40:34yet? yes yes he is. what's he doing? he's doing some typing in the kitchen. I haven't had my pocket
00:40:40money yet. oh darling let's talk about it tomorrow. what time are you getting up in the morning? go back
00:40:45to sleep.
00:40:47i have to take my principles on monday.
00:41:17let's go.
00:41:20Are you willing to remake your agreement?
00:41:22I wasn't late.
00:41:23You were late. Admit you were late.
00:41:25I arrived at the close of nine.
00:41:27You should be in the seminar room at nine.
00:41:28You were late!
00:41:30You have broken an agreement!
00:41:32Face the trainers!
00:41:34Do you admit that you have broken an agreement?
00:41:37I have not broken an agreement.
00:41:38Will you please stop shouting? I don't stand anymore!
00:41:41No, no, sit down!
00:41:43Do you admit that you broke an agreement?
00:41:45I have not broken an agreement!
00:41:47If you do not remake your agreement,
00:41:49you will be dismissed from the seminar!
00:41:52Boom! Boom!
00:41:52So, Malcolm, what's it to be?
00:41:54I'll remake the agreement.
00:41:56Good. You may resume your seat.
00:42:08Okay. Yesterday, Chaz agreed with me
00:42:10that my proof of his existence was entirely dependent on...
00:42:13Anyone? Anyone remember?
00:42:14Ten!
00:42:15You're experiencing him.
00:42:17Right. Experience is the ultimate test of reality.
00:42:21Not the mind, but experience. Thank you, Chaz.
00:42:23Yes, Malcolm.
00:42:25I'm experiencing that what you're saying is a lot of crap.
00:42:28What gives me that experience? My mind.
00:42:31Stand up!
00:42:34Malcolm's mind is telling him I'm talking crap.
00:42:36Is that reality?
00:42:38All three!
00:42:39No!
00:42:39Damn right it is, and that's your reality.
00:42:42Or what your mind has decided is reality.
00:42:45Well, that's good enough for me.
00:42:46Get out of your mind, asshole.
00:42:47Your mind can only give you its interpretation of reality.
00:42:51Yes, Ginny.
00:42:52I would like to share that Malcolm's con is plugged into its own survival kit.
00:42:55Thank you, Ginny!
00:42:57Thank you, Ginny!
00:43:00Khan decides what is real reality and comes up with defective reality.
00:43:07I'll give you an example of defective reality.
00:43:10We've been thrown out of the hotel, right?
00:43:12So, I've organized taxis to take us elsewhere.
00:43:15They're waiting outside.
00:43:16How would you respond?
00:43:19Well, would you believe there were taxis outside?
00:43:21I suppose so.
00:43:22Right.
00:43:23Now, suppose I tell you the cabbies are on a work to rule,
00:43:26so I've organized 20 camels to take us elsewhere.
00:43:30Would you believe that?
00:43:31I'd believe anything of you.
00:43:33I get that.
00:43:34But suppose a traffic warden came in and said,
00:43:36are you the owner of the P registration camel parked on the double yellow line outside?
00:43:42Would you believe that?
00:43:43Well, of course I bloody well wouldn't.
00:43:45Do you believe the taxis?
00:43:46Well, yes.
00:43:47Why the taxis, not the camels?
00:43:48Well, because it's perfectly reasonable.
00:43:50Sorry?
00:43:50What was that word?
00:43:53Reasonable.
00:43:53Right!
00:43:55Now, I could be lying about the taxis.
00:43:57Yes.
00:43:58Just as I was about the camels.
00:43:59Yes.
00:44:00And you're still no nearer knowing what's parked on the double yellow line.
00:44:04Well, no.
00:44:04That's how far reasonableness gets you, Malcolm.
00:44:08All beliefs.
00:44:09All defective reality.
00:44:13Belief is not knowing what's parked on the double yellow line.
00:44:16Thank you, Malcolm!
00:44:18Yes, Doc?
00:44:20Look, I'm a reasonable child.
00:44:22Oh, really?
00:44:25Unfortunate choice.
00:44:27Well, you've got to have beliefs to help you determine reality.
00:44:31I mean, good God!
00:44:33Science, metaphysics, mathematics, philosophy.
00:44:35All the greatest thinkers who've ever put pen to paper.
00:44:38Look, we've got to believe something of what they say.
00:44:41Give me an example, Don.
00:44:43Well, yes.
00:44:45All right.
00:44:45I'm reading at the moment about Banting and Best, whose discovery of insulin in 1921 terminated
00:44:51diabetes as an incurable disease.
00:44:53I believe that insulin saves lives.
00:44:56I have no direct experience of insulin, nor I'm thankful to say of diabetes.
00:45:03Tell me, Don.
00:45:05Uh, you ever heard of iatrogenic disease?
00:45:10Iat...no.
00:45:11Iatrogenic disease is a disorder produced by medication induced to treat another disease.
00:45:18So, 20 years ago, medical scientists hailed a brilliant new drug called thalidomide.
00:45:23I think you know the results.
00:45:24Oh, that's hardly fair, is it?
00:45:26I mean, you take the most notorious example of the failure of modern medical research.
00:45:30I mean, there are hundreds of success stories.
00:45:32Why are there successes, Don?
00:45:33Well, because they work.
00:45:35Because they work!
00:45:37All philosophers, all politicians, all physicists believe until experience proves them wrong.
00:45:46You ever heard two politicians agree about anything?
00:45:48All beliefs, all defective reality until experience turns them upside down.
00:45:58Experience is the ultimate test of reality.
00:46:03Thank you, Don.
00:46:05Yes, Kitty.
00:46:07Excuse me, is that a Martian on the blackboard?
00:46:09Nope.
00:46:10That's a pile of shit called beliefs.
00:46:12And those are your legs sticking out the top of it.
00:46:19Okay.
00:46:20Experience is the ultimate test of reality.
00:46:23What is the ultimate source of experience?
00:46:27Chance.
00:46:27Physicalness.
00:46:28Bullshit.
00:46:29I am experiencing a sore posterior from sitting on a hard...
00:46:32Stop right there.
00:46:32Who's experiencing?
00:46:33I am...
00:46:34Who?
00:46:35Me.
00:46:35Right.
00:46:37You create your own experience.
00:46:39You choose to experience something in a particular way.
00:46:43Thank you, Chas.
00:46:46Yes, Trish.
00:46:48Look, Max, I do voluntary work for battered wine.
00:46:50Of course you do, Trish.
00:46:51Well, we had a woman in last week, two fingers chopped off her hand with an axe.
00:46:55Well, guess who was responsible for that?
00:46:56She was.
00:46:56What?
00:46:57Okay, so her husband chopped her fingers off.
00:46:59Of course he did.
00:46:59But she was responsible for creating her experience of it.
00:47:02Was she responsible for marrying her husband?
00:47:04I suppose so.
00:47:05Was she responsible for being in the house when she was attacked?
00:47:07No, he'd locked her in.
00:47:08Well, all her married life she'd been locked in.
00:47:09Of course not on that approach.
00:47:10Therefore, she was wholly responsible for being in the house when she was attacked by her
00:47:15husband.
00:47:16But she didn't chop her fingers off.
00:47:17He did.
00:47:18No, she did.
00:47:18She went down to the cellar, she got the axe, she gave it to Hubby, put her hands on the
00:47:22breadboard
00:47:23and said, sock it to me, baby, this is the moment I've been waiting for all my married life.
00:47:27You're out of your mind, Max.
00:47:28Sorry, what was that?
00:47:29I said you're out of your mind, Max.
00:47:31That's just what the Avatar seminar is all about.
00:47:34So what did she say when she came to see you?
00:47:36Well, she was petrified.
00:47:37We put her in touch with the solicitor.
00:47:38Now, why didn't she go down to the laundromat and say to her chums,
00:47:41Fred's such a honey.
00:47:42He's so thoughtful.
00:47:43He just chopped my fingers off.
00:47:45He must have known I was sick of my shorthand and typing course.
00:47:47Now, your battered wife was wholly responsible for creating her experience as bad.
00:47:53But it was bad.
00:47:55Story.
00:47:56Two couples.
00:47:58One lived in London, 1979.
00:48:00Jealous guy hit his girl over the head with an electric fry pan.
00:48:04She sued.
00:48:05He went to prison.
00:48:06Second couple lived in prehistoric times.
00:48:09Neanderthal guy hit his girl over the head with a pterodactyl's thigh bone.
00:48:13She fluttered her eyelids and whispered,
00:48:16Your cave or mine?
00:48:18The Neanderthal girl had done the Avatar seminar.
00:48:45I failed to see what this has to do with ultimate reality.
00:48:49Just create your experience, Mars.
00:48:53I find it very difficult to create myself as a fool.
00:48:57Really?
00:48:58You've been doing superbly all your life.
00:49:01We've all got barriers, Mars.
00:49:03This process is designed to remove them.
00:49:06Okay.
00:49:06All three together.
00:49:18One, two, three, four.
00:49:20Tell the people what she wants.
00:49:23She wants.
00:49:24Jesus, this is rubbish.
00:49:26What are you all this gullible?
00:49:27Can't you see what he's trying to do?
00:49:29My wife does this kind of crap at night school drama classes.
00:49:32Don't break agreements.
00:49:33Chance.
00:49:34Yes, Chance.
00:49:35I'm not a shell.
00:49:35I'm feeling hostile towards Malcolm.
00:49:37Oh, sit down, you macrobiotic moron.
00:49:41Okay, Malcolm.
00:49:42We get that you have a problem with this process.
00:49:44Every little boy's got a little girl inside him.
00:49:46So that's why you're going to let it all out when you do it again.
00:49:51Alone.
00:49:51Jesus.
00:49:53Thank you, Malcolm.
00:49:56And Kitty Melanie.
00:49:58Melozy.
00:50:14I am the fastest draw west of the Pecos.
00:50:20My Patty loved him.
00:50:46My name is Art, and I am an expert in the truth process.
00:50:51You are now going to do the truth process as explained to you before dinner.
00:50:54First three, front row right, will now mount the rostrum.
00:51:05Breathe!
00:51:07Breathe!
00:51:07Breathe!
00:51:10Breathe deeper, bitch!
00:51:13Concentrate! Stay in your factor!
00:51:16Breathe!
00:51:17Confront your factor and breathe!
00:51:19Breathe, all of you!
00:51:21Breathe!
00:51:23Hyperventilate, all of you!
00:51:25Hyperventilate!
00:51:26Hyperventilate!
00:51:28Don't get off it! Let it all out, Trish!
00:51:31Stay in your space!
00:51:35Stay in your factor!
00:51:37Breathe, bitch, Trish!
00:51:42Look, this woman needs medical attention!
00:51:45Sit down!
00:51:46Oh, boy, boy.
00:51:51You will confront your factor and breathe!
00:51:58You remain there until you learn to do the process properly.
00:52:03Hyperventilate!
00:52:18Carrying back your chair, get a sick bag.
00:52:21Ha!
00:52:31Oh, boy!
00:52:39Ah!
00:52:42Oh!
00:52:43Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
00:52:54Breathe!
00:52:55How about Australia, Malcolm? Get in touch with that experience. Relive it.
00:53:01Exorcise it, Malcolm! Get off it, Malcolm!
00:53:04Don't worry, we're all failures here. Remember, whatever happened to you out there was your creation, Malcolm.
00:53:11What happened, Malcolm?
00:53:13How's it feel confronting your own failure? Bet you never wanted to see Australia again.
00:53:17Australia's to blame, isn't it, Malcolm? Not you.
00:53:20Anyone but you, Malcolm!
00:53:21It's not nice, is it, asshole? You thought you were over it, didn't you? Just re-press it and go
00:53:26away, huh?
00:53:27Well, it won't, Malcolm, because that's not the way it works.
00:53:30It's not the way it works.
00:53:31It's not the way it works.
00:53:33Come on!
00:53:44If it's not the way it does, I can't think of it.
00:53:47Good night, Jess.
00:53:48Good night, Jess.
00:53:48Good night.
00:53:49Good night, Jenny.
00:53:51Oh, good night.
00:53:51Oh, good night.
00:53:54Good night.
00:53:54Good night, Jenny.
00:53:55Good night.
00:54:07Good morning.
00:54:10Take care. Have a good night's sleep.
00:54:13Good night. Bye-bye, Al.
00:54:18Good night.
00:54:18Bye, Ted. Take care.
00:54:20Good night.
00:54:21Oh, I got a kiss.
00:54:23Oh, you're so cute.
00:54:26Good night, Ted.
00:54:27Good night, Sally.
00:54:29Good night, take care.
00:54:30Take care of yourself.
00:54:31Now, don't you do anything I wouldn't do.
00:54:33Don't you do that?
00:54:34Good night, David.
00:54:36Sleep well.
00:54:39I'll come clean now.
00:54:40Bye.
00:54:56Good night, Derek.
00:54:57TIFFANY
00:54:57Oh man.
00:54:59Good night.
00:55:00Good night.
00:55:08Did you get that?
00:55:16Is anybody sitting next to the person
00:55:19they sat next to at yesterday's seminar?
00:55:27Whoopee!
00:55:44Okay, right at the day we'll have an opportunity
00:55:47to share our experience of last night's truth process.
00:55:52Right now, I want to talk about the anatomy of the mind.
00:56:03So the mind is a manic DJ.
00:56:06On cerebral radio, playing its discs in order to survive.
00:56:12Wake up, Maris!
00:56:14There are millions of discs stacked up there in your head.
00:56:17So that's why old manic mind keeps telling you
00:56:20to resist experience.
00:56:22It hasn't got a disc to play.
00:56:25So when I shout, Kitty!
00:56:28Kitty's daddy discs start to play.
00:56:30She's petrified.
00:56:31She's right back there in the room
00:56:32with her father throwing coal at her.
00:56:34Kitty, your father has become all men.
00:56:38Your promiscuity is just your childhood discs
00:56:41telling you to avoid relationships
00:56:43in order to survive.
00:56:47Yes, Melanie?
00:56:51Are you telling us that the mind dictates our responses,
00:56:54that we have no freedom of choice?
00:56:57Absolutely right.
00:56:59The mind dials its discs quite mechanically,
00:57:02quite automatically,
00:57:05spreading its evil like cancer.
00:57:07Everything you've ever experienced,
00:57:10be it joy or happiness,
00:57:12becomes associated by the mind
00:57:15with fear and threat to survival.
00:57:22You've all been frightened gutless
00:57:24by my trainers this weekend, right?
00:57:29Do any of you know why?
00:57:34Anyway.
00:57:38Look at them closely.
00:57:42What do they resemble?
00:57:50Well?
00:57:54Mars?
00:57:56Zombies.
00:57:57Kitty?
00:57:58Robots.
00:58:01Chaz?
00:58:04Machines?
00:58:05Thank you, Chaz.
00:58:07Machines!
00:58:10Machines!
00:58:16The mirror image
00:58:19of you, yourselves.
00:58:23That's all you are.
00:58:27Machines.
00:58:29180 pounds to be told
00:58:32you're just machines.
00:58:37How does it feel?
00:58:42Kitty.
00:58:45I'd like to share
00:58:46that I feel utterly depressed.
00:58:54Then we might just as well
00:58:56pack up and go home.
00:58:57Yep, that's right.
00:58:57Nothing more to get, is there?
00:58:58Now you're just machines.
00:59:02Then what have all
00:59:03these three days been an aid of?
00:59:05I mean, why the lectures?
00:59:07Why the insults?
00:59:08Why that bloody horrendous
00:59:10truth process last night?
00:59:11I mean, what is the point
00:59:13of sticking around
00:59:14to share our experience of it?
00:59:17Oh, I'm pissed off!
00:59:28Chaz.
00:59:31Max.
00:59:34You said that if we relive
00:59:35an experience,
00:59:36it destroys the disks
00:59:38that makes us machines.
00:59:39A mere handful, Chaz.
00:59:40There are millions of them.
00:59:42But the factor
00:59:42that we chose to relive
00:59:44last night,
00:59:44we should have disappeared
00:59:45it, shouldn't we?
00:59:46Possibly.
00:59:46We'll since see.
00:59:48Then if we accept
00:59:50that whatever we do,
00:59:51we are still machines,
00:59:54if we don't resist it...
00:59:56That's right, Chaz.
01:00:00Enlightenment
01:00:02is knowing
01:00:04you're a machine!
01:00:07What?
01:00:33Well, I now know that I can create
01:00:35my parents as anything
01:00:36I want them to be.
01:00:38I'm going to create them
01:00:39as people I love.
01:00:41I'm going to create them
01:00:42as Viv.
01:00:44And Max.
01:00:46No doubt about that one, eh, Viv?
01:00:55Okay.
01:00:56Don.
01:01:12This is going to be
01:01:13very difficult for me.
01:01:19I took as my factor,
01:01:21my problem with my mistress
01:01:24at my bank.
01:01:31I'm afraid I lied to you.
01:01:38I don't have any mistress.
01:01:44I don't have any wife.
01:01:48I don't have any children.
01:01:54Oh, there is someone there,
01:01:56certainly,
01:01:56at my bank,
01:01:59but...
01:02:05He joined us
01:02:06about four years ago,
01:02:08a clerk,
01:02:09grade three.
01:02:12He was good at his job,
01:02:14ambitious, certainly,
01:02:15and after about
01:02:16a couple of years,
01:02:17a vacancy occurred
01:02:18for a manager's clerk.
01:02:22Regional office
01:02:23were sending me
01:02:23a graduate,
01:02:24but,
01:02:25well,
01:02:26a word in the area
01:02:27manager's ear
01:02:28and Michael got it.
01:02:31I felt at the time
01:02:32that he deserved it.
01:02:34But now he's been
01:02:36angling for a branch
01:02:37accountancy.
01:02:39It would certainly
01:02:40mean a transfer
01:02:42to another town
01:02:43and...
01:02:47something I
01:02:49don't think
01:02:50I could bear.
01:02:53Quite apart
01:02:54from being
01:02:56promotion over
01:02:57my other clerk
01:02:58who's held
01:02:59the position longer
01:03:00and...
01:03:01anyway.
01:03:04I don't think
01:03:05he's ready.
01:03:07He's accusing me
01:03:08of holding him
01:03:09back,
01:03:10starting to imply
01:03:11that because of
01:03:12this transfer
01:03:13thing,
01:03:15how bad it would
01:03:16be if certain
01:03:17people got to
01:03:19know.
01:03:20Michael has a
01:03:23malicious streak.
01:03:24He...
01:03:26he has mentioned
01:03:27the press.
01:03:30Oh, I don't
01:03:31think he would.
01:03:32He's got too
01:03:32much to lose
01:03:33himself,
01:03:33but he's
01:03:35certainly not
01:03:35above blackmail
01:03:36in one way,
01:03:37shape,
01:03:37or form.
01:03:42So far,
01:03:44I've done
01:03:45nothing wrong.
01:03:46Normally,
01:03:46I'd have nothing
01:03:46to fear.
01:03:48I certainly
01:03:48haven't abused
01:03:49my position
01:03:50with regard
01:03:50to his promotion.
01:03:52But the
01:03:52problem is...
01:03:59there are
01:04:00certain areas
01:04:00in life
01:04:03where you
01:04:04aren't allowed
01:04:04to be
01:04:06different.
01:04:09Oh,
01:04:10law's fine.
01:04:12Two consenting
01:04:13mails and all
01:04:14that,
01:04:14but no amount
01:04:15of legislation
01:04:16can alter
01:04:16public opinion.
01:04:17I work 15
01:04:19miles from
01:04:19London.
01:04:20The attitudes
01:04:21belong in a
01:04:21different century.
01:04:22a look
01:04:24comes over
01:04:24people's faces.
01:04:26Over some
01:04:27of yours now.
01:04:29Don's.
01:04:30Unnatural.
01:04:34Oh, I
01:04:34live in fear.
01:04:37Every time
01:04:37a local businessman
01:04:38transfers his
01:04:39account,
01:04:39my spine
01:04:40goes cold.
01:04:42I feel sure
01:04:43that I've been
01:04:44seen.
01:04:46I've heard
01:04:47a rumor.
01:04:50I'd be
01:04:51demoted.
01:04:53discreetly
01:04:54transferred.
01:04:56The best
01:04:58eased out.
01:05:03When everything
01:05:04you've worked for
01:05:05all your life
01:05:06is threatened,
01:05:11you start to think
01:05:12of desperate
01:05:14measures
01:05:15measures to remove
01:05:17the source of
01:05:18that threat.
01:05:23I could take
01:05:24the easy way out
01:05:25and recommend
01:05:25Michael for his
01:05:26promotion.
01:05:29This weekend
01:05:31I've decided
01:05:32not to take
01:05:34the easy way out
01:05:37and not to resort
01:05:38to desperate
01:05:40measures.
01:05:43The other chap
01:05:44is ready
01:05:45for the job
01:05:46and I shall
01:05:46recommend him.
01:05:48What Michael
01:05:48will do,
01:05:50I don't know.
01:05:52thank you.
01:05:53man.
01:05:58Oh, wow.
01:06:02I feel really
01:06:03great.
01:06:03I feel like a new
01:06:04man.
01:06:08I don't think
01:06:10anything's changed
01:06:11in me,
01:06:11but I feel
01:06:12fantastic,
01:06:13refreshed.
01:06:14Is that all right?
01:06:15I mean,
01:06:15I'm just the same,
01:06:16eternally bloody
01:06:17Randy,
01:06:17but I feel
01:06:19wonderful about it.
01:06:20Terrific.
01:06:22I know I
01:06:23attract men
01:06:24and no,
01:06:24I just don't
01:06:25feel guilty
01:06:26about it.
01:06:27Tomorrow.
01:06:28You know,
01:06:28I don't think
01:06:29I'll care if I
01:06:29feel guilty
01:06:30tomorrow.
01:06:31I mean,
01:06:31if I feel guilty,
01:06:31I just won't
01:06:32care about it
01:06:32and that's not
01:06:33feeling guilty,
01:06:33is it?
01:06:35You see,
01:06:36I'm fickle.
01:06:38I'm just a
01:06:39mediocrity
01:06:40struggling to be
01:06:40profound.
01:06:41If I'm faced
01:06:42with Sylvia Plath
01:06:43or the new
01:06:43mailer,
01:06:44I somehow end up
01:06:44with an autobiography
01:06:45of Lauren Bacall.
01:06:47My ex was a
01:06:48publisher.
01:06:48He used to ask
01:06:49his colleagues
01:06:50around for
01:06:50literary evenings.
01:06:51I used to read
01:06:52up Roger's
01:06:53Thesaurus and the
01:06:53Lou and find
01:06:54I get away
01:06:54with murder.
01:06:57I never understood
01:06:58a word I said.
01:06:59They seem to,
01:07:00though.
01:07:01Do you know,
01:07:02I think
01:07:02the sole purpose
01:07:03for my coming
01:07:04on this seminar
01:07:05was for the luxury
01:07:06of talking about
01:07:06myself for three
01:07:07days.
01:07:08Oh,
01:07:08I was most anxious
01:07:09to become less
01:07:10promiscuous.
01:07:12But at the same
01:07:13time,
01:07:15I was quite desperate
01:07:17to take Don to bed
01:07:17by Sunday.
01:07:20I am shallow.
01:07:23An hour ago,
01:07:24I was weeping
01:07:24my eyes out.
01:07:26Look at me now.
01:07:28The pursuit of
01:07:29happiness.
01:07:29Who wrote that?
01:07:32Well,
01:07:33my idea of
01:07:34a happy marriage
01:07:34is when monogamy
01:07:35is grounds
01:07:36for divorce.
01:07:38Great stuff.
01:07:48Malcolm.
01:07:50Malcolm.
01:08:03well the thing that happened in Australia you may as well know I tried
01:08:09to kill myself do you remember those posters dotted around London a few years
01:08:18ago in Australia I will teach in the Sun well my wife and I decided to give it a
01:08:23try I'm a journalist in Fleet Street and the competition was getting me down and
01:08:28so we decided to emigrate perhaps I'm sensitive to brainwashing certainly their
01:08:36PR is effective land of sunshine and golden opportunities white beaches
01:08:42private swimming pools Sun bronze children reading Henry Lawson under the
01:08:47shade of a jacaranda tree well when we got to Melbourne it was winter freezing
01:08:53cold raining with a forced nine gale direct from the South Pole our taxi drove
01:09:01us through sprawling suburbs of gray asbestos roof bungalows dropping us
01:09:06finally at our weatherboard semi at Brighton Beach where the waters polluted
01:09:10by sewerage dumped into the surf as the months went by I began to notice what
01:09:19Australia really was there's no identity no culture no soul I think I went insane I
01:09:35began to imagine that I would never see England again we were starving ourselves to
01:09:39save in order to return well no way with four of us it would take years seemed like a
01:09:49prison sentence
01:09:55how do you begin to describe the desire to kill yourself quite logically I thought that
01:10:04death was preferable to life one day I resolved to do it I drove the kids school and then instead
01:10:19of going into the office I drove 20 miles south of Frankston
01:10:24I'd settle on drowning the water was very cold I remember thinking I'll get crammed soon and go
01:10:32under it it seemed beautiful the end I don't know what made me turn around and swim back I regretted
01:10:46it the only thing that kept me going during the next few months was the thought that one day I
01:10:52might see England again
01:10:53I kept telling myself just get through today
01:11:04but I'm permanently scarred now and under even greater pressure to succeed I put my wife
01:11:15and children through agony out there I owe it to them to make a living
01:11:26so you see Max I came to expose Avatar a hot story and now it just doesn't seem to make
01:11:39any sense anymore
01:11:46stand up Malcolm
01:11:48face me
01:11:54okay Malcolm
01:11:55we get that it doesn't make any sense
01:11:59but that's mind
01:12:02what are you experiencing
01:12:06I feel clearer
01:12:10I feel as if I know what I want to do
01:12:13my life belongs to me
01:12:15not my wife not my kids
01:12:16I am responsible for my life
01:12:18I don't have to succeed anymore
01:12:21churning out copy after copy to meet your deadline
01:12:23haunting the right pubs into the stab nothing doing into the cross keys
01:12:27Bailey's Bailey from the Chronicle
01:12:28buy him a pink gin
01:12:29new angle on police corruption
01:12:31two weeks later there's your copy written by somebody else
01:12:35I feel marvellous
01:12:38I might fly to the Canaries
01:12:40I might even have an affair
01:12:41my god what a shock she'd get
01:12:45oh
01:12:46oh
01:12:47Max
01:12:49you got it Malcolm
01:12:51you got it
01:12:53you got it
01:12:56I'm gonna thorn in my flesh
01:12:59for three days
01:13:00and now we love one another
01:13:04yes
01:13:09boy what a trainer you'd make
01:13:15I'm definitely being
01:13:19I'm experiencing
01:13:21isn't it wonderful everybody
01:13:23I've come through
01:13:25I'm enlightened
01:13:32wait a moment
01:13:34aren't we supposed to observe our experience
01:13:38disappear it
01:13:42well I just did
01:13:45do not cause my laughter
01:13:49the avatar seminar
01:13:52its bogus processes
01:13:55your naivety
01:13:58and the final realization
01:14:01that you have all
01:14:04been took
01:14:08my son
01:14:09left home
01:14:10a year ago
01:14:12he'd been offered a place at Cambridge
01:14:14he was over the moon about it
01:14:15one weekend
01:14:16he came down to London
01:14:17and when he returned home
01:14:19he was a different person
01:14:24Timothy Dravis
01:14:26my son Max
01:14:28I think you know him
01:14:31he never went to Cambridge
01:14:33he came down here
01:14:34to join the organization
01:14:38he wrote to me just once
01:14:42I'm working in a wimpy bar he said
01:14:45to help pay my tuition as a trainer
01:14:49I'm very happy
01:14:51and I'm continuing to grow as a person
01:14:55last week
01:14:57I introduced six new people
01:15:00to the seminar
01:15:05doesn't end here
01:15:08enlightenment is elusive
01:15:11you'll be sold more seminars
01:15:14at a price
01:15:18I don't know where my son is now
01:15:21someone told me that he joined a religious sect
01:15:24somewhere in California
01:15:27shaved his head
01:15:30he's thrown his life away
01:15:36I've got you Malcolm
01:15:39you wore yourself down by your own resistance
01:15:42the drawn curtains
01:15:43the long hours
01:15:44the Nazi tactics
01:15:46oh you spotted it
01:15:47but you held nothing in reserve
01:15:48that's why you were forced to participate
01:15:51to exhaust you into accepting the garbage
01:15:54you're a patsy Malcolm
01:15:56and now they've got you
01:16:12Avatar exists for the survival of Max Schreiber
01:16:17or whatever Max Schreiber
01:16:19or whatever Max Schreiber
01:16:19believes himself
01:16:21to be
01:16:32I would like to share my sorrow that Melanie has not come through
01:16:39it is a happy brain
01:16:42an enlightened brain
01:16:44an enlightened brain
01:16:45slowly
01:16:48as the light gets brighter
01:16:51begins to make its own sound
01:16:54the happy sound
01:16:57an enlightened sound
01:17:04good
01:17:06keep your eyes closed
01:17:08just
01:17:09let it
01:17:10let it
01:17:11crescendo
01:17:17start melting
01:17:19your brain
01:17:20now
01:17:26as it does so
01:17:27the sound
01:17:28gradually fades away
01:17:34when it does so
01:17:36when it does so
01:17:38it may open your eyes
01:17:42let it fade in its own time
01:17:47the seminar is nearing its completion
01:17:53thank you for creating me in your universe
01:18:00working
01:18:08the
01:18:08eyes
01:18:08beat
01:18:08beat
01:18:08beat
01:19:25My presentation must reflect my own enlightenment.
01:19:29The indications of enlightenment are
01:19:331. Upright posture
01:19:362. Voice confident, energized with volume
01:19:433. Eyes wide and sparkling
01:19:484. Gestures direct and dynamic
01:19:555. To increase my own sense of fulfillment
01:20:005. I dedicate myself to the expansion of Avatar
01:20:045. By communicating my experience to others
01:20:175. Others
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