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00:07There she is. Think it's gonna be totally for a suitcase. What a second. What in the
00:13name of balls are you doing? Are you leaving? Are you leaving me as well?
00:18Abandonment! I'll try harder. I'll get me a hat flap or something. For Jesus' sake,
00:23I haven't shit on anything in weeks. In. Right. You'll see how far you get without socks.
00:30Hey, you. No. In. Let go. You let go. No. Aidan. Let go. You let go. Why does she always
00:38win?
00:38Think Aidan. Think logically. I can't. I'm a dog. Okay. Emotionally. I know. I'll leave this here.
00:43You might need it. Your actual heart.
00:54This isn't scary. This isn't terrifying. This is just a girl in the world looking for happiness like
01:00everyone else. Except sometimes it ends up on the internet a little bit. You wrestled her on the
01:07internet? And she said you kicked her in the fanny. To be fair, that was an accident. But then she
01:14gave me a dick in the boob. What's going on, Joy? What is this new thing that you're doing? I
01:19could
01:19ask you the same question. She has a name. Her name is Sarah. I'm delighted. She seems to have
01:24everything. Names and everything. Why are we whispering? Because I don't want Kei and Aidan to know
01:29you're here because he misses you. Whatever. You gave me no choice.
01:42Is this just us trying to validate our lives? Our choices? How is everybody else doing it? Should we
01:48care? How do we do it for ourselves? What and where is our happy place in this mad old world?
01:56I know. This must seem scary. But to be fair to me, there was basically no way to interrupt you
02:01once you started all of that. Oh, sorry. Em, this is, uh...
02:09Connor. Yeah, this is Connor.
02:10Connor. He's a barista. So tell us about this happy place.
02:21Connor.
02:46Can I take you to my happy place?
02:48Jesus, Joy, I know you're lonely, but...
02:50No, I'm not lonely.
02:52I just want to take you to my happy place.
02:56It's this week's assignment.
02:57I have to stay the night in this place.
02:59It does Reiki and reflexology and alternative stuff
03:02to help cure your chakras and help you find peace and all that stuff.
03:05I find it all a bit weird,
03:06but I just thought it might help you deal with the whole Eddie thing.
03:11Joy.
03:11It's cool if you don't want to talk about it, Trish.
03:13I went out with Eddie for seven days and are leaving us here at holiday.
03:16I don't want to push you.
03:17I've been married to Tom for eight years.
03:19Well, this would help you deal with all of that denial.
03:21Joy, I can't go away with you for the night.
03:24This person's going to arrive at any moment,
03:26and I know everybody says it's a wonderful experience,
03:28but I don't want to remember a single thing
03:30about a tiny human being exploding out of my vagina.
03:34Wow.
03:34So when it all kicks off,
03:35I don't want to be in the middle of nowhere
03:37with a crazy person trying to coax the baby out
03:39with feathers and crystals.
03:41I'm going to go for all the drugs.
03:44All of them.
03:45Absolutely.
03:49There she is.
03:51Well, you stay here.
03:52Finish cooking that.
03:53Okay.
03:54I love you.
03:57I love you.
03:58Enough of that now.
03:59I love you.
04:00Shh.
04:13What?
04:14Oh, Joy.
04:15Hey.
04:16Joy, it's who?
04:17It's Mummy in.
04:18It's Mummy in.
04:18You're here.
04:20Oh.
04:26Yeah.
04:28Mum, could you come away with me
04:29for the night to this retreat thing?
04:31Actually, we were just sort of in the middle of something.
04:34Yeah, there was this fun article
04:36in the Sunday Papers about Sting and Trudy Styler.
04:40Yes, and the really funny thing was the word tant...
04:43Tantric.
04:44Also came up in the crossword, didn't it, Alan?
04:46It did, yes, yes, it did.
04:48Nine down.
04:48Do we need milk?
04:53Okay, I'm gonna go now.
04:55Honey, we keep what is apping you to come over for dinner
04:58and you keep shrugging us off.
05:00Well, I know I said I found it hard to cook for three instead of four
05:03because, you know, it's like...
05:04Aiden's gone.
05:05Em and I only cater for two or four.
05:08But, honey, it's okay.
05:10I can just freeze the extra portion.
05:15I could come after you.
05:18Oh, you certainly will.
05:19Oh!
05:22Oh, my God.
05:31Hey.
05:32So, I'll see you down there?
05:34Yeah.
05:35I just have to cover Greg's piece on how you can really make your communion money work for you
05:41and then I'll be all over you.
05:47I'm really enjoying our assignments.
05:51Not because I'm a voyeur.
05:55Voyeur.
05:56Voyeur.
05:56Voyeur.
05:56Sorry.
05:58I'm never really sure how to say that.
06:00It's just because, I mean,
06:04it's fun working with you.
06:10I'm not sure there's the sky.
06:15I'm not sure there's the sky.
06:36For telling unhappiness and self-doubt to buck off.
06:50So, you've signed the form agreeing to full submission of the house rules, yes?
06:53Yeah.
06:57Well, come with me through the vagina of life.
07:03I can take that.
07:06It's just that I've got all my stuff in there, all my creams and my bits from my face.
07:10I can be quite particular about my skincare routine.
07:12I've been told I have a little bit of rosacea, actually.
07:15They cannot bring you happiness.
07:17Okay.
07:18It's just all of my stuff is in there, like my PJs and my dressing gown.
07:24Goodbye, things.
07:26The brochure did warn not to bring things of material value.
07:29And to book before the end of the month for some great bank holiday offers.
07:39What?
07:53So, if everyone can join hands in the circle, let us channel our creative energies by sharing
08:03it with one another.
08:05I need to give you some positivity.
08:08Oh, no, I'm fine.
08:10So, my little cherubs, why are we here?
08:16I feel I need to find a way to be happy again.
08:21I mean, I was happy with Sheila.
08:24Before she slept with four people off the Residence Association.
08:28Yeah, I need to stop shopping to fill the hole in my life.
08:33I'm convinced one more pair of shoes and I'll be satisfied, but it's only making me sadder.
08:38My niece thinks it's cool that I live in a shoe den, but she is two and a half, you
08:42know?
08:44I ate four eclairs after only getting 23 likes for a selfie, so I need to stop looking for
08:51approval from everybody else, just because my confidence is in my pants right now.
08:55Sorry, no, it's not my pants, it's...
08:57What's that expression again?
08:59In my boots.
09:00In my boots.
09:02Because everyone's meant to be living the perfect life in the perfect relationship.
09:06Sometimes I feel the pressure gets so heavy, it might crack my skull open.
09:11Like, actually, crack it open.
09:14But I've discovered, as I hope many of you will, that that can't actually happen.
09:19Isn't that right, Sylvia?
09:21Thank you, Fit.
09:23What about you, Joy?
09:25What has brought you to this place?
09:29Oh, it's just a work thing.
09:32Working on myself.
09:34Are there things in your life that you've been unwilling to face or own up to?
09:41Before now?
09:42No.
09:44Everyone else thinks I should be doing things differently, but I'm okay with how I am.
09:48I leave everything you're telling me as long as you are truly happy.
09:54Yeah, yeah.
09:55Very happy.
09:56Happy out.
09:57Happy just doing the things the way I do them.
09:58I think everyone else just needs to accept that, I think.
10:01So where is your happy place?
10:04Alone.
10:06Or with five people?
10:10I do like five people.
10:14Out of a population of seven billion, she likes five people.
10:19Yeah.
10:20To be fair, she was never going to get to know everyone, was she?
10:22But do you think you're growing as a person, Joy?
10:29You know, I have been thinking a lot about all of that stuff, and I just want to say that
10:37I am going to try to let go of it.
10:40Good.
10:42Because you're not the only one who's had to let go of it, but, you know, for us.
10:45Okay, good.
10:48And I'm going to start by doing things and ideas and stuff and things.
11:01That would be great, Joy.
11:02That would be great, thanks.
11:07Come, Joe.
11:10From here?
11:10Come.
11:12Come.
11:13Come.
11:15Come.
11:17Okay, actually.
11:18I don't think I need to start crying or start buying shoes or anything, you know, just to
11:22prove that I feel a certain way or whatever.
11:24Just want you to...
11:24Just slow down.
11:25Okay.
11:30This is just a gentle technique to cleanse the aura and release pent-up emotion.
11:37Oh.
11:39And don't be alarmed if you become emotional, Joy.
11:44It's just your pent-up negative emotions finding a place to...
11:52Oh, cool.
11:55This is sage to cleanse your aura and dandelion oil to clear away all this dirty energies.
12:12Dandelions are so stupid.
12:13This is stupid.
12:14This is all so stupid.
12:15Because it clearly doesn't work.
12:17Because nothing.
12:18Look, nothing.
12:19Nothing has come out.
12:20It doesn't work.
12:21It's...
12:21You know what?
12:22I just...
12:23I would like a refund, actually.
12:25Cash and 50s in an envelope.
12:27Because this is...
12:29Just daft.
12:30The happy place.
12:31This is called the happy place.
12:33Does this look happy to you?
12:36I'm going to tell our subscribers about it as well.
12:38This absolute farce.
12:41I've never in my life...
12:47Fuckin' dandelion!
13:02Hey, Joy.
13:04Hey.
13:05You all right?
13:07Yeah.
13:11I don't know how to do this piece, Stan.
13:15I'm not sure I know what intuition feels like.
13:20They keep asking us to listen to our good feeling.
13:22But the only good feeling I have is extreme hunger.
13:24Because I think they think eating nice food is bad.
13:30I think that's what people like, Joy.
13:33You don't pretend to have all the answers.
13:37Just be yourself and it'll be great.
13:40Just be your lovely, non-judgmentally self.
13:46I'm not sure I have a non-judgmentally self.
13:48Of course you do, Joy.
13:50Let's get back.
13:51Come on.
13:53Now, this patch, now, I can...
13:55I can notch over that.
13:56No, no, no.
13:57Sheila, I forgive you.
13:58I forgive you.
13:59We should never have moved there.
14:00It was my fault.
14:02We should never have moved there.
14:03Let us all reconnect with nature.
14:07Give thanks to the trees.
14:08Thank you, trees!
14:13Deciduous conifer.
14:15Sorry, I haven't been in touch lately,
14:18but I did want to say thanks a mil for everything, you know.
14:21Really nailing my career right now
14:23and my personal relationships.
14:25Oh, I'm living with somebody who takes a bath
14:28with bearded strangers,
14:29and it turns out I have no friends.
14:30And I might be quite odd,
14:32so I just wanted to say...
14:33Oh.
14:34...thank you that I lasted in front of all these strangers.
14:38Just here, yeah?
14:39Thanks.
14:40Pretty kind of you.
14:42So,
14:43I invite you now to let go of your emotions and allow Mother Nature to heal your broken heart in
14:56her leafy bosom.
14:58Oh, for fuck's sake.
15:01Oh, for fuck's sake.
15:07Look to the sky.
15:09Tell me what you can see.
15:11I can see a cloud in the shape of a shoe.
15:17I see the tail of an airplane cloud.
15:20It's probably Sheila off the Barbados.
15:22Ten lovers off our road.
15:25I see some pretty great lighting for a good selfie here.
15:29What about you, Joy?
15:34I just see potential sun damage, really.
15:37One of those birds there coming over here and just shitting on me to my mouth.
15:43It's worrying me a little bit.
15:44I haven't had a tetanus since last May.
15:46What I want you to see are the limitless possibilities.
15:50Fly as high as that beautiful sky.
15:54Downwards, let's go.
15:56There are no limits.
15:57There is the limit that when you go beyond the Earth's atmosphere, you completely implode in an orbital velocity.
16:03Shut the fuck up, Vinton.
16:05Tell unhappiness and self-doubt to fuck off.
16:11Join me together.
16:13Fuck off!
16:14Fuck off!
16:17Fuck off!
16:19Fuck off!
16:23Fuck off!
16:26Fuck off!
16:28Fuck off!
16:32Fuck off!
16:34Fuck off!
16:34Fuck off!
16:34Fuck off!
16:35Fuck off!
16:36Fuck off!
17:02Oh, is that?
17:06Is that butter on my face?
17:08Yeah.
17:09Yes.
17:11I don't have any of my stuff.
17:12I've got very specific skin care needs.
17:14I've got dry skin and rosacea, so this is helping moisturize.
17:19Yeah.
17:20I don't have a dressing gown that was also thrown in a ditch in a bid to find happiness.
17:24Yeah, you're like the bear girls of the retreat world.
17:27Yeah.
17:28Yeah.
17:32How do you still have those there contraband goods?
17:35I snuck down to the ditch.
17:37I needed to rescue these guys so I could sleep.
17:41Really?
17:43Yeah.
17:46They're gorgeous.
17:50Maybe you should do those.
18:03Oh, I'm very late.
18:05I'm very late.
18:06I'm very late.
18:07I'm very late.
18:08I'm very late.
18:09I'm very late.
18:09I'm very late.
18:10I'm very late.
18:17I'm very late.
18:35Hey. Don't go. Stay in another night.
18:44Are you sure that's okay?
18:47Yeah. And maybe after that, stay every night.
19:01I really hope you all got something from this experience.
19:05If there is any one thing you would take away, what would it be?
19:10The small shampoo and conditioner in the bathroom.
19:12No, no. No, not things. Because things do not define me.
19:20In order to be happy, it's alright to be really, really sad first.
19:27It's good to see you again, Vincent.
19:29I'm going to try and get out of my own head a bit.
19:40I think maybe I am lonely.
19:45I never mind it being alone, but this feels different.
19:50And it's not like anything bad happened in my childhood.
19:54My mum has apologised for feeding me those really bad chicken nuggets,
19:57but she said everyone was at it in the 80s.
20:01It does feel like it's getting harder to be like this.
20:06It's really hard out there, too. I mean, so many exhausting feelings.
20:10So much potential for pain.
20:15Like, why can you not compromise on anything?
20:18Like, what's wrong with you?
20:21Why can't you just say it?
20:28I love this shit.
20:30I love this shit.
20:32Bullshit.
20:39I love you.
20:52Thanks, Emil, for helping me come and get my case.
20:55You are so welcome.
20:56But as much as I hate to break this moment of altruism,
20:59my case was in there, too.
21:01Yeah.
21:03I'm glad I did this.
21:05Yeah, me too, I think.
21:07You know what Sylvia wants?
21:09Just throwing away all your baggage, I don't think it's entirely realistic.
21:13Yeah.
21:15To lighten your load, maybe.
21:17Figure out what you're willing to keep carrying.
21:21You know, we should swap numbers.
21:22Promise to meet each other for lunch like 57 times
21:25until we both eventually accept that it's never gonna happen.
21:29I'd like that.
21:30Great.
21:32Hey, Tara.
21:34As my new never-to-be-seen-again friend,
21:37I think you should know that I'm trying to be less scared of asking people for help
21:41and depending on them, so...
21:43Could I interview you about your experience here so I could maybe keep my job?
21:49Done.
21:49You can keep your job if I can keep your Adidas Originals.
21:53Okay.
21:53Yeah?
21:54Yeah.
21:56What size are you?
21:58Thirteen.
22:00Thirteen?
22:00Yeah, I am.
22:01You wouldn't know.
22:18I'm telling negativity and strict skincare regimes to fuck off.
22:24Oh, hi, lady of the manor.
22:26How'd it go?
22:27It was actually very interesting.
22:29Oh, this is Jimmy, by the way.
22:30Hiya.
22:31Oh, he's not. We didn't...
22:33Basically, we've been friends since, like, forever.
22:35And we've been having baths together since we were, what, like...
22:37Like, three.
22:38I'm gay, just in case you thought it got weird after the age of twelve or whatever.
22:42Oh, no, it's never been weird.
22:43Yeah.
22:44Nothing's gonna happen if I don't cleanse, tone, exfoliate, serumise, moisturise it.
22:48I mean, the world's not gonna stop turning.
22:50No, mate.
22:51Where's K9 Aiden?
22:54He was feeling a bit lonely.
22:59Nice to meet you, Jimmy.
23:00See ya.
23:01Bye.
23:42Oh.
23:43Hey, there's still a bit of a pong here.
23:44Put them through another cycle.
23:47I'm here.
23:48Oh, lick. Okay.
23:49Oh, oh.
23:49Good lick.
23:52That's so gross.
23:54I know you've just licked your bum before licking my face.
23:57Snared.
23:59Well, I am trying to let go and be less judgmental.
24:02And you've just had a bath, so...
24:04Clean as a whistle.
24:05I appreciate the thought.
24:07Thanks for coming home, Joy.
24:09Despite all my flaws and shit in the bed and all that,
24:12thanks for coming back to me.
24:14Joy!
24:16She's gas.
24:16You want tea? You're making a bath.
24:18Tea?
24:19Uh-oh. She's thinking tea?
24:21After 9.30?
24:22There's 26.4 megs of caffeine in every bag.
24:24Are these people insane?
24:26Sure!
24:27Outta girl.
24:58You
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