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00:00This programme contains discussion of adult themes that some viewers may find distressing. Viewer discretion is advised.
00:08When is Halloween? Cos the schools were closed yesterday and them kids were out tricking and treating and it's not
00:12Halloween.
00:14Halloween's on Friday. Eh. Hmm.
00:18Them kids was out last night, the other night, tricking and treating.
00:22Anyway, I turn the lights off, I'm not at home, fuck em. I buy the sweets, eat them myself, I'm
00:26not at home.
00:28What is this? Goddammit!
00:32See what I mean? I always go for it.
00:35Oh.
00:36What did you do that for? Why did you touch it, you fool?
00:39Does that look alright?
00:41It wasn't like that in my days.
00:45I'd have a ball doing that.
00:48It's scarlet somehow, I just can't get over this, like.
00:51I love mad shit like this.
00:58In the week when Carrick on Shannon was named Ireland's tidiest town, we watched loads of great telly.
01:06The Late Late Show took us into the West on Friday.
01:09Who the fuck are they?
01:10God, that's Westlife, I think.
01:12It feels like we're back in 1999 again. It's just crazy the reaction that the gigs we've got.
01:17I feel old.
01:20You are old.
01:21We got a crash course on how to save a life from BBC One.
01:24So you've been out for your 80th birthday?
01:26Yeah, three glasses of wine, all afternoon.
01:29I wonder did you have just three glasses of wine, my friend?
01:32Take some deep breaths from it.
01:33I know, darling, I know.
01:35Oh, I thought that was someone putting their hand over it, their own hand.
01:38And Virgin on Demand took us to a trad session hosted by some vampires.
01:43It's an Irish song.
01:44I know it is an Irish song, Dad, it's a good song.
01:50Bite me if you want to, you.
01:58I hope.
01:58In Betty's town.
01:59Do you think it's weird to unplug your microwave and your kettle when you're not using it?
02:05Connor and his sister, Emma.
02:08No.
02:09You'd do that?
02:11Unplug it?
02:11Yeah.
02:12No.
02:13So you think it's weird?
02:14Why do you?
02:15Yeah, why would you unplug your kettle and your microwave, just keep them plugged in?
02:19That's what I'm saying.
02:20I had this debate during the week, and the fella was like,
02:23of course I unplug my microwave, why wouldn't I unplug my microwave?
02:25I'm like, why would you unplug your microwave?
02:28I just think that's so old-fashioned.
02:30Well, it maybe is.
02:31Maybe it has an old guy for them.
02:32But like, do you unplug your fridge when you're not using it?
02:34Do you know what I mean?
02:35We're in the same line of argument here.
02:37We always need the fridge on, though.
02:39Of course you always leave the fridge on.
02:40That's what I'm saying, though.
02:43What?
02:45This week, we settled in to celebrate
02:47three decades of E4's flagship soap.
02:53Oh, I'm traumatized.
02:54Every fucking night at 6 o'clock,
02:56being forced to watch this with our math.
02:58It's like the shit one in UK.
02:59Oh, is it?
03:00Yeah.
03:00We're gathered here today
03:01to celebrate the love and commitment of Tony and Diane.
03:05She'd been waiting on this fucking long time,
03:07because when I was in secondary school,
03:08I'm pretty sure he was going out with her.
03:10Okay, nothing spells disaster like a soap wedding.
03:13With the wedding ongoing,
03:14the show took us to an airfield
03:16to see serial killer Jez get up to no good.
03:19It's Jeremy Blake, the bad guy of Hollyoaks.
03:22He's coming around the corner now
03:23with his little handkerchief.
03:25Hi.
03:26He looks like he just came from Peter Marks.
03:28Could you help me?
03:30Oh?
03:36Take ahoy, Viz. You'll be grand. You can get in anywhere.
03:38We also got acquainted with Claire,
03:40who was waiting to be reunited with a loved one
03:43in the hope of fleeing the village.
03:45Tori?
03:47Try again.
03:48Why is there a hanger in Hollyoaks?
03:50What in the name of God is going on?
03:53She's safe.
03:55That's how she's going to stay.
03:56This is green screen CGI.
03:58Look at this, Connor.
03:59She's literally presenting the fucking weather.
04:02Here's my son!
04:04Claire!
04:06You don't? Oh, shit!
04:07Does she have a knife?
04:08Or is it a gun?
04:09You took my child.
04:10So I...
04:11I'm going to take yours!
04:13No!
04:14In with the karate chop?
04:18Oh.
04:20In your face, EastEnders.
04:24You've killed my mother!
04:26Wrong show.
04:29Or maybe I love Hollyoaks.
04:31Mm-hmm.
04:34Meanwhile, at the wedding...
04:36You know, you could have had any woman you wanted, yeah?
04:40But you chose my wife, didn't you?
04:41There's about 40 storylines going on at this.
04:44What?
04:45Who?
04:45Something lying to me!
04:47You reap what you sow!
04:49You reap what you blinch sow!
04:51I know you did!
04:52Because you mocked his dad!
04:53Dun, dun, dun!
04:56Is that true?
04:57Is it too true?
04:58Of course it's not.
05:02I'm so sorry, but it is.
05:03You're telling me!
05:05You're telling me!
05:06There was an affair.
05:07And she went to the wedding.
05:09Anyone else in the village slept with my husband?
05:11Me!
05:12Oh!
05:12I slept with your husband!
05:14Yes!
05:15Me!
05:16Is there someone?
05:21Tony got me pregnant.
05:24Tony's been at it!
05:26There can't be a woman left in Hollyoaks.
05:27Back at the airfield, we saw Claire's getaway plan take flight.
05:32You are not cleared for takeoff.
05:35I guess!
05:38It's like a scene from a James Bond film, innit?
05:42You're alive?
05:44It's going to be a bumpy ride.
05:46I'm sorry, did she just notice him in the plane now?
05:49Did you really believe you could double-cross me?
05:51I tried to be on James Bond, but they didn't want me.
05:58This is the best TV show I've ever seen in my life.
06:01If you can't, then I will!
06:04What is she doing?
06:06She's wrestling the pilot of a plane mid-air.
06:14What?
06:15Oh, shit!
06:16Jesus Christ!
06:17What was that?
06:21Like, years ago, soaps were like, try to be true to life, you know, like, you know,
06:27people were down and fucking in bits and depressed and all.
06:30As things took another twist, we saw groom Tony attempt to salvage his big day.
06:39What?
06:41Why is there a sniper?
06:44Oh, my God.
06:45The plane is going to crash into the wedding.
06:48Oh, I'd love it.
06:54What is going on in this show?
07:00I can't keep up. I can't keep up.
07:02Everyone's getting blasted by shit.
07:03Where's the sniper gone?
07:04What happened to him?
07:05Is he still around?
07:06Oh, Jesus Christ!
07:11Oh, Jesus.
07:12She's gone.
07:12When is this going to end?
07:14It's just, like, one disaster after another.
07:17Steve.
07:19Will you look after me, plants?
07:21I hope.
07:26What?
07:30What's this?
07:39Finn.
07:40Yeah.
07:41That was excellent.
07:41Oh, man.
07:42Hey.
07:43That's television.
07:47In the Liberties.
07:50Look at that.
07:51That soup, is it?
07:53Friends.
07:54Tracy and Anita.
07:55I don't know what.
07:56No, I wasn't eating soup.
07:58It could be an...
08:00Scruff.
08:02Absolute scruff.
08:03I'd take me brow off at night,
08:05and there'd be more food lodged in me than anything else.
08:08I know.
08:09I could nearly tell you what I had for breakfast,
08:11aren't you, didn't I?
08:11I know.
08:12Desperate.
08:13But I'd rather be scruffy than pissy-crissy.
08:16Yeah, well, I'm not pissy-crissy, thank God.
08:18Yeah, no, because you have a new one.
08:19I have a new one.
08:22I'd be a bit of a pissy-crissy if I didn't wear the tan of ladies.
08:25Especially when you're laughing.
08:26On Saturday, RTE1 brought us news of a fancy-do taking place in Dublin Castle.
08:33After a resounding election win, Catherine Connolly...
08:36You've, Catherine Connolly!
08:37...foused to be an inclusive president for all.
08:39Everyone knew she was going to get it.
08:41And it lasts, it's all over.
08:49Now, is she Uhtera and the Heron now?
08:51Is that her title, or...?
08:52No, it's pronounced Uhteroita.
08:55Because she's a woman?
08:57Yeah.
08:57Is that right?
08:58Uhteroita and the Heron.
09:00Make sure you say that to everyone.
09:02Don't.
09:02You're taking the piss out of me now in the preview.
09:04What does that mean?
09:05What's your thing?
09:06It's ice cream.
09:07It's ice cream.
09:09Let's take a look now at the final result from all 43 constituencies.
09:14Catherine Connolly with 914,000...
09:17Oh, wow!
09:18That's a landslide.
09:20Bertie had to go for that, he would have walked it.
09:22Heather Humphreys received 424,987...
09:27Get you drunk, get you drunk, drunk on my humps.
09:30My humps, my humps, my heathery humps.
09:33Jim Gavin, who withdrew from the campaign, was on 7.2%.
09:38Some people still voted for him, even though he wasn't fucking running.
09:40And I voted for him.
09:42Why?
09:42I don't know.
09:44Turnout at 45.8% is lower than last year's general election,
09:49regardless of what people vote.
09:51Yeah.
09:51They should be going to vote.
09:53Too much blood on our flag.
09:55I hereby declare Catherine Connolly elected to the office of President of Ireland.
10:02Well, there's the 10th President of Ireland.
10:05I will be an inclusive President for all of you,
10:08and I regard it as an absolute honour the vote I've been giving.
10:12I love that she looks like an ordinary person.
10:15Do you know what I mean?
10:16I think she's going to make an excellent President.
10:18She's gracious.
10:19She's well-spoken.
10:20But I would have voted for Geldof.
10:22Why would you vote for Bertie?
10:25Better than those two that are there.
10:26Why would you?
10:26A record number of spoiled or invalid votes have been recorded,
10:30an indication of dissatisfaction among the electorate.
10:33None of the above.
10:35Ah, no.
10:35Spoiled.
10:36The amount of people who are posting on TikTok,
10:38I spoiled my vote, I spoiled my vote scarlet for you.
10:41With voters citing a monthly of reasons for this deliberate action.
10:45The choice was there, didn't suit us, we spoiled the vote.
10:48Nothing says use your voice for democracy like ruining your chance to vote.
10:52And also, if you spoiled your vote, it's the same as just not voting,
10:56because it'd still just go down to Heather and Catherine.
11:00The whole campaign about spoiling your vote this year in this election
11:04was an order to let the government know,
11:06we are voters, we come out to vote,
11:10but we don't want to vote for any of the candidates
11:13that you have lined up for us this time.
11:15That is Saturday's 9 o'clock news.
11:17On the night Ireland elected its 10th President, Catherine Connolly.
11:21Well, she's the president now and we have to like it or bloody lump it.
11:25We don't want to put up with it, but...
11:26And that's it.
11:27She might grow on us.
11:35The Saunders Family
11:36Book Delivery sponsors Googlebox Ireland
11:40Book Delivery sponsors Googlebox Ireland
11:47Book Delivery sponsors Googlebox Ireland
11:49In Kilkenny
11:51Does you know you can do the macaroni to any song on the planet?
11:55The Saunders Family
11:58Pick any song you want, any song.
12:00OK, Waterloo.
12:01Sing it.
12:02I'm not singing it, you can sing it.
12:03Come on.
12:05Waterloo, I'm feeding you on the water.
12:09Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, Waterloo, and you love me forevermore.
12:16Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
12:17Hang on, hang on, whoa, whoa.
12:19I'll give you a song.
12:21I won't sing it, you sing it.
12:22Kabochi blackened hands.
12:23Come on, come on, come on.
12:25I was born in a blue sea,
12:27and I don't use the beat,
12:29and I don't use the beat,
12:30and I don't use the beat.
12:33See, any fucking song on the planet.
12:36Told ya.
12:36On Thursday night, the return of an RTE 2 show
12:39locked us in a county-made pub
12:41with these lads.
12:45Oh, I love these too.
12:47Yes! No, we're not watching it again are we?
12:50Fuck off.
12:52Hello and welcome to the 2 Johnnies late night lock-in.
12:54I dreamt about this fella
12:56on the right once.
12:57What? Johnny B.
12:59Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for one of the greatest
13:02quizzes of all time. It's
13:03The Parish Quiz!
13:07Yay!
13:08The Parish Quiz does be the crack.
13:10And our first parish up today
13:12is Nerney in the county of Kildare
13:14and representing them is the one and only
13:15Tyg Furlong.
13:16One Tyg!
13:19Isn't Tyg Furlong a good name?
13:21Is that someone?
13:22From the county of Limerick
13:23and representing Kalidi
13:25is Aisling Magnar. How are you?
13:27I'm Limerick.
13:29Who are you supporting?
13:30The Kalidis are the Nornies.
13:32Don't care.
13:33Here we go, here's your question.
13:34Hi Pike, Jillian here from the shop.
13:37I feel like this is a hostage video.
13:39Can you tell us which local farmer
13:41sells us these potatoes?
13:43How the fuck you supposed to know that?
13:45John Byrne.
13:46John Byrne.
13:47Country people know everyone.
13:50And the answer is The Burns.
13:52John, to be specific.
13:54Okay, over to Kalidi for your question.
13:57What title did I get the night I collected the most money in the Ashworth Tavern in 1997?
14:05Can we get subtitles on him? Because I can't understand a word of what he's saying.
14:08Jim is the Mayor of Kalidi.
14:11The Lord Mayor of Kalidi.
14:15Oh, good girl.
14:17Hi Tig, my question for you.
14:19What's the name of this burger?
14:20It was discontinued because it was too hard to eat.
14:23That's a heart attack.
14:24The leaning tower of fucking learning.
14:26No better man for it Tig, actually.
14:28What do you call him fat?
14:30Not the fat Simon.
14:32That burger was called Bog Man's Burger.
14:35The Bog Man's Burger.
14:37Let's find out if you're right Tig.
14:39And the answer is The Bog Monster Burger.
14:42Because when you finish it, you're going to be spending most of the day on the bog.
14:46What did Jesus hell this really dis all about?
14:49As tensions really ramped up, we saw the quiz go to a tiebreaker question.
14:55Davey Russell.
14:56Who's he then?
14:57Davey Russell, champion jockey.
14:59Our question is, now he's retired, what weight is he?
15:0312 stone, 90 kilo.
15:0688 kg.
15:0788 kg.
15:0888 is way off anyway, he's not that big.
15:1185 kg.
15:12Now this is the fat Simon show, why are they weighing this man?
15:1588 kg, which means Tig is the winner.
15:19Are you serious?
15:21I told you.
15:21Here is the moment to choose, okay?
15:23In one of them is the trip to Vegas, in the other is the bag of sports.
15:26We'll go with this one.
15:27No, the other one.
15:28What's it going to be?
15:30A bag of sports.
15:31Do you know what?
15:32It's a win-win for Tig.
15:33Who doesn't want a bag of sports in this economy?
15:36Later, we watched as a Johnny caught up with a rose.
15:39Have you joined the show so far?
15:43No, I'm in hell.
15:45Tonight we are looking for Mr. Lock-In and we need a judge.
15:49Oh.
15:49You up for it?
15:50Yep.
15:50Alright, I'll hand you over to Johnny number one, Johnny Smacks.
15:53Number one, what's your name?
15:54Where are you from?
15:55Simon from Navin.
15:56You're Simon from Navin?
15:57From Navin and he's wearing a Dublin jersey, alright.
16:00What is your talent, Simon from Navin?
16:03I can put my faith in my mouth.
16:04What a fucking weird talent.
16:06No, no, I don't think I want to see that.
16:08No.
16:13Why? Why?
16:14Why do you know this?
16:18What a fucking weird, you've only two.
16:20No, you still have a knuckle there and a knuckle there.
16:23Now, come over to me and I'll get the lip over.
16:27What is your talent, Cian?
16:29I can do a little bit of fast maths.
16:31Fast maths.
16:3265 by 89.
16:3465 by 89, Cian.
16:365-7-8-5.
16:385-7-8-5!
16:40He was brilliant.
16:42No, you have to get these bits in.
16:44Come here and I'll help you.
16:46Come here and I'll help you.
16:48Who are you going to crown as Mr. Lock-In with this amazing sash?
16:51The first one.
16:52Mr. Matts.
16:53No, Mr. Matts had an actual talent.
16:55Oh, quick maths!
16:59He's like, do we shift?
17:01Yeah, because those are transferable skills.
17:03Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:04The rest of you are just horsing around.
17:06Have a great night, we'll see you again.
17:08Find yourselves, good luck.
17:09Good night.
17:09I'm amazed at you that now.
17:11Are you?
17:11Yeah.
17:12You locked you?
17:13No.
17:14Not so.
17:19In Dundalk.
17:20I've seen something really weird today.
17:23Right, go ahead.
17:24David and his wife, Sarah.
17:27A priest in like a full white car, white dress driving his car.
17:32What do you mean?
17:33He was just driving his car.
17:34Like fully off the cloth?
17:36Yeah.
17:37And he was just way off to do mass?
17:38Well, he was driving.
17:39But how do you think he usually gets to places, though?
17:42Where's he going?
17:42He lives in the church.
17:44He doesn't live in the church, Sarah.
17:45I just find it weird that priests drive, though.
17:47Like, do priests go, like he has to go to a mechanic, like...
17:51Yeah, like normal people.
17:52I just can't imagine it.
17:53What do you think they do, float places?
17:54They'll levitate around in their big white gown.
17:57Fucking Aladdin.
17:57It honestly took me aback.
17:59I stood there and I said, that is so weird.
18:01On Monday, Channel 4 gave us a timely look
18:04at how some very small suppliers
18:06are tackling our ever-growing shopping bills.
18:09For decades, the big-name supermarkets
18:12have dominated the high street.
18:13Do you ever have to walk around and eat it
18:16and add up in your head how much things...
18:17Mm-hmm.
18:18And prices are soaring.
18:19It's scary when I'm walking up to the tills.
18:21We spend about, what, double what we had spent five years ago
18:25to get the same amount.
18:27Enter the Discount Disruptors,
18:29taking us beyond the shelves
18:31to reveal the secrets of super-cheap shopping.
18:34The healthier you eat as well, the more expensive the shop is.
18:37Absolutely.
18:38Have you ever seen the price of cereal?
18:40Yeah!
18:41What's that about?
18:44Do you remember you bought, like,
18:4670 boxes of jellies and musgraves
18:48and then just never ate them?
18:49That's too many.
18:50The show took us to Wales to meet an entrepreneur
18:53with a unique approach to taking on the supermarkets.
18:56Do you like what we have in love?
18:57Five rump, sirloin, the chicken steaks,
19:00that one for £40, is it?
19:01I've got it, my lovely, yes.
19:03I don't know if I'd want to buy me
19:05in our Facebook marketplace.
19:06A lot of this is happening here in Donegal.
19:08Yeah.
19:09The Meat Packs.
19:10Meet the Meat Meister.
19:12The Meat Meister!
19:13That's my bio.
19:14A.K.A. Dawn Brightwell.
19:16The super force that is Dawn's Bargain Meat Packs.
19:19It's like Avon, except meat.
19:22Meat.
19:22There's even messages coming for meat orders
19:24at two, three o'clock in the morning.
19:26What?
19:27You'd sound to piss off if someone's texting you
19:28half two in the morning for a chicken fillet,
19:30wouldn't you?
19:30Let's keep all the costs down
19:32and then the consumer at the other end
19:34can benefit from the low price.
19:36Good mind on her all the same.
19:37Where is she getting this meat from, though?
19:40And she's looking, I don't know about this.
19:42And the orders that come in
19:44are packed by her son, Tyler, at the wholesalers in Yorkshire.
19:48I had to rank the meats.
19:49I've taught about this, by the way, I've taught about this.
19:52Of course.
19:52Lamb.
19:53Then duck.
19:55Then beef.
19:56Then pork.
19:57Then chicken.
19:58Chicken's a flop for me.
19:59That's the only one I can eat.
20:00Despite the low prices, Dawn says all of the meat is welfare checked.
20:05How low are we talking?
20:07Because I'm interested now.
20:09The pack that Dawn calls a bulk bundle contains nine items
20:14and includes chops, steaks, pork belly, chicken and sausages.
20:19At cost, 45 quid.
20:21What?
20:22Whereabouts are they when you go fly over and fly back?
20:25I just know the old ones going,
20:27fuck, Dawn's put up another deal, I better get it quick.
20:29And the poor husband's sitting at home going,
20:31we already have 20 fucking kilos of pork loins.
20:34Before she's even created the pack, Dawn heads to the hills
20:38for a bit of alfresco advertising.
20:40Why have we come to a field to talk about the meat?
20:42Massive ham shanks just being delivered.
20:45Then we are doing you a kilo of your minted lamb nibbler ribs.
20:50You're all going crazy on these.
20:52She's kind of like Del Boy.
20:53Why is she in the middle of a field doing that?
20:56She probably wants to get out of the house.
20:57She's taking calls all day.
20:58You don't know.
21:00Later, we saw a couple of Dawn's customers take delivery
21:03of her Facebook famous meat packages.
21:06Are you expecting meat?
21:07It's like back in the day when you used to have a milkman call.
21:10Did you have a milkman?
21:11No.
21:12We had a milkman, a breadman, a fishman.
21:15And I'm pretty sure there was a cheese fella at one stage.
21:17Is that why all your sisters look different?
21:20Oh, thank you so much.
21:22You're welcome.
21:23How many people is she fucking feeding?
21:25Like a small army in this house.
21:27Look, this kid's going to have about seven pork chops now for the week.
21:30Yeah.
21:33We've got some burgers.
21:36No fat milk steaks.
21:37And then we've got fry steak.
21:39How could you need this much food?
21:41You wouldn't need that for a restaurant, Sarah.
21:42We've got all this for £100.
21:46Oh, that's £100?
21:47When I first heard she selling meat on Facebook, I was like,
21:50that's fucking strange.
21:51But I've been sold just because she's such a businesswoman
21:54and she knows her stuff.
21:55I feel like I'm going to catch, like, E. Coli or something,
21:57but you know what?
21:58I'm supporting her local business.
21:59It's hard to support her.
22:00Yeah.
22:01The brain is constantly ticking of what I can do with me,
22:05what I can make a pack out of,
22:07and what name I can give that pack.
22:09That is what I live and breathe for.
22:10She looks wrecked after that day, doesn't she?
22:12She is.
22:13Her hair is all over.
22:14Wool eyebrows dragging it on her face.
22:18Yeah, I'm just living on my own.
22:19It's not in my interest to go out and bulk buy.
22:23Do you know what I mean?
22:24Yeah.
22:24But what a brilliant, brilliant mind.
22:46In Limerick.
22:47Did you take Fudge to the vet?
22:49No, I didn't.
22:50Alex did.
22:51I took him to the vet.
22:52Yeah.
22:52The Ryans.
22:53Fudge had a little trip to the vet this week.
22:57He had his M.O.T.
22:59He had his M.O.T.
22:59So he had a mani-pedi and a mani-pedi, is what they call it.
23:04He had his toenails done.
23:05He had his arsehole done.
23:06You butchered his arsehole with a scissors.
23:09No, no, no.
23:10I did that too, but no.
23:11He got her thumb right up his eye.
23:14He got his anal gland done.
23:16Oh, what do you mean?
23:17Would you stop saying?
23:17Would you stop saying anal gland?
23:18There's a gland up there and it needs to be cleaned up.
23:20Matt, would you stop saying anal gland?
23:22It's true.
23:23It's disgusting.
23:24And what else did he get done?
23:25Just say something about his butt.
23:26Just say his butt needs to be looked at.
23:26Well, he got his butt done, so.
23:28Right.
23:28He got his butt done.
23:29He got his toenails done.
23:30He got his fingernails done.
23:32And he got wormed.
23:33He got prostate exam.
23:35On Friday, RTE1's Late Late Show treated us to an evening with Ireland's best-known boy band.
23:44Oh, late.
23:45Oh, very good.
23:46Yeah.
23:46Your buddies?
23:51Come on, Connor.
23:52Get your groove on.
23:54Oh, yeah.
23:55Patrick Keelty.
23:56We love him.
23:57Woo!
23:59I like this.
24:00I can all kid.
24:02Who the fuck are they is?
24:03Colin, it's Westlife, I think.
24:07Whoa.
24:08Westlife.
24:09They look the same.
24:11Yes, they look the same.
24:13What are your names again?
24:14No, this is...
24:16Westlife?
24:17Let's take that, isn't it?
24:18It feels like we're back in 1999 again.
24:20It's just crazy, the reaction that the gigs have got.
24:23I feel old.
24:26You are old.
24:27Who's missing from there, by the way?
24:29The men that died.
24:30And, you know, I always remember the first tour on Flying the Wings.
24:33We went out on a big kind of frame.
24:34The five of us out over the audience where people could nearly touch us and pull our shoes off.
24:38I remember that.
24:38I remember queuing for the very first concert.
24:40And we were only 11 or something at the time.
24:42And we got the bus into town, the last bus into town at like half 11 that night.
24:46That's so cute.
24:48And then I got grounded and my dad took the tickets off me.
24:50We were really living the life of a pop star at that point, you know?
24:53I might be getting mixed up with Boyzone.
24:56Is it?
24:56They're not Boyzone, are they?
24:57No, it's not Boyzone.
24:58That's their Westlife.
24:59During the interview, we saw Patrick head into the audience to meet some of the trio's superfans.
25:05So, what have you got?
25:06What have you got now?
25:07This is the merch.
25:08We've got some of the original merch, lads.
25:10Aww.
25:11She got dolls and all.
25:13Okay.
25:13Oh, wow.
25:14A bit battered, but you sing.
25:15Oh, my lord.
25:16This is a doll.
25:18Sweet mother.
25:19Can you hear it?
25:21I swear to you my love would remain.
25:24And I swear to love her again.
25:27Oh, he has a voice like butter.
25:29He has a good voice in films.
25:30Slide over there, look.
25:31And she's got...
25:32Yeah.
25:35They're so baffling as a band, though, because the people that are going to see these are,
25:39like, 56-year-old women and then 20-something-year-old women.
25:43Why is their demographic, those two groups of people?
25:45Generational trauma.
25:47Yeah.
25:47Look, we've got Westlife.
25:49Chocolate bars.
25:50Oh, yeah.
25:50Where are these from?
25:51How old is the chocolate bar?
25:53What's the best before on these?
25:552002.
25:562002.
25:57Jesus, that must be pure rotten.
25:59Fucking hell.
25:59Louis Welch busted his bollocks for these fellas, isn't he?
26:02And, of course, the main thing that you're the pride owner of are these bad boys.
26:08So...
26:08No, not the nigger.
26:09Oh, no.
26:11What?
26:11Oh, God.
26:12Who owns these?
26:14These are Qs.
26:15She's a Cian fan.
26:16Hold on, you have the Cian doll, and you have my underwear.
26:20Awww.
26:26Who are the other ones going to have a fucking fist fight in the car park now?
26:29Joe Paddy, all of them did came on.
26:32Keith, you cop yourself on.
26:33The value of them have just plummeted.
26:36Sergey, I've had to save them for 25 years, and he gets his fucking cock and ball all over them.
26:41Get them off.
26:43Okay.
26:44They're primed.
26:45They're ready to go.
26:45One more time.
26:46The mighty Westlife!
26:48Oh, there we go.
26:49Oh, there we go.
26:50Lay lay shut.
26:52Everybody up to your feet.
26:54I'll let you win where no one else goes.
26:56What do we do without you?
26:58I can't look at all.
27:00His trousers are more baggy than the other two.
27:03They're nine man's pair trousers.
27:05He could have a testicle problem.
27:08I'll let you win where no one else goes.
27:09I'll let you win where no one else goes.
27:12I can't remember the words.
27:14Me too.
27:15I'll let you run through my heart.
27:17I'll tell you things you know without you.
27:19Jesus, I'll come back to me.
27:21My youth.
27:22He's in my teens.
27:24He's in my teens.
27:28Yeah.
27:30Something new.
27:31What I'mma do without you.
27:33Ow!
27:34I nearly knocked me on too.
27:35Ow.
27:36Ow.
27:36Her head is so big.
27:37You okay?
27:41In Dun Laoghaire.
27:43I remember my ex-girlfriend.
27:45It was like we had gone for...
27:47One second.
27:48One second.
27:50Friends.
27:51David and John.
27:53I told you about her before now.
27:54We haven't spoken much about your ex-girlfriend, Dave.
27:57Well, that's because I blocked that out of my head.
27:59But I remember going to the cinema and I was really nervous because I went to the shift.
28:02And I drank a lot of vodka beforehand.
28:04Went in.
28:05Scored her.
28:07Went to the toilet.
28:08Blacked out in the toilet.
28:09Came back.
28:10And then sat next to someone else in a different cinema.
28:13Went to the toilet.
28:15Went to the toilet.
28:16Went to the toilet.
28:16Half an hour back.
28:17Went to the toilet.
28:18And then you decided to be gay because you realised women won't put up with that behaviour.
28:22Yeah.
28:22Gays will think it's hilarious.
28:24Yeah.
28:24Last Tuesday, BBC One gave us an eye-opening look at life on the front lines.
28:30The ambulance service must decide who gets help.
28:33Can I get you covered up?
28:34Lovely, lovely.
28:35And who must wait?
28:37I say that's so stressful being in the dispatch room and having six or seven different calls
28:42and having to try and prioritise them.
28:47But every time I see an ambulance, I kind of see a little prayer, yeah, for whatever the situation is.
28:53The show took us on a revealing ride-along with paramedics Bailey and Phoebe.
28:59Hiya.
29:00Hiya.
29:01Who have I come for?
29:02I've been out today, I'll be quite honest.
29:05It's 80th birthday.
29:06So you've been out for your 80th birthday?
29:09And I have three glasses of wine all afternoon.
29:11I wonder did you have just three glasses of wine, my friend?
29:15And I got to there and I got the tremendous pain in my leg.
29:18Oh, and she had a fall.
29:20And I went down.
29:21Fine.
29:21I don't move it.
29:22It's so bad.
29:23Please don't move it.
29:24I won't move it.
29:25I won't move it.
29:26Oh, the poor lady.
29:27She's in pain.
29:29Do you remember in the hospital when I broke my foot?
29:31Yes.
29:32And they gave me a paracetamol for five hours.
29:34Yes.
29:34Two paracetamol.
29:35Yes, I do remember because I was the one that was listening to you roaring in my ear.
29:39Ann, just take some deep breaths from it.
29:41I know, darling.
29:43I know.
29:44Oh, I thought that was someone putting their fucking hand over it.
29:46It's her own hand.
29:47Oh, dear.
29:48You've got your, you've got your bit of freedom, you've got your respite that you want to see.
29:51Yeah, a bit of respite.
29:52All right.
29:53That'd be me, ma'am.
29:56Make sure you do that now and make sure that's done.
29:59And if I like this when I come out.
30:01And then we'd have to go, all right, all right.
30:03Ann will be taken three miles to Bradford Royal Infirmary for x-rays on her hip.
30:09You know, you know, so old man.
30:11You know, yeah.
30:11Aw.
30:12Yeah, ambulances are always so warm.
30:15Like, even when, when the ambulance with you, I was like, my God, it's roasting in here.
30:20It's so sticky.
30:21Yeah, you were, you were shivering.
30:24Later, the show gave us a sobering look at modern society, as yet another call came in.
30:31If you're saying he's suicidal, he's going to send me a picture of himself self-harming.
30:37That's a call for help, isn't it?
30:39The people at the call centres are unbelievable as well.
30:41Some people always think that they're being rude, but it's all because they're trying to get as much information and
30:46get things sorted for you as quick as possible.
30:48I think it's a sheltered living, isn't it?
30:51Yeah, it's that.
30:52It's a part of sheltered sort of housing.
30:55That wouldn't be an easy thing to walk into now, I'll tell you.
30:57No.
30:59I haven't seen you for ages.
31:01You've had an air cut.
31:02I have had an air cut, mate.
31:03It's an old man.
31:04I'm going to show you something now.
31:06It's fine.
31:07It's fine in the evening.
31:08Oh, what?
31:09What have you done?
31:16That's just a new one.
31:17Oh!
31:19Oh!
31:20I don't really open that.
31:21They're taking all my knives off.
31:24Oh, God, I love them.
31:25You never really think of that kind of a thing with elderly people, like, do you?
31:30This is shutting down.
31:32Are they shutting this place down?
31:34I don't know where I was going.
31:35That's what he's worried about.
31:37He's always doing that and...
31:38Yeah, poor man.
31:39...to kind of forget about the poor boy.
31:41Oh!
31:42I'll put on to your people.
31:44I'm all right.
31:45But they're down.
31:47I'm sad.
31:48Right now, Darren, do you want to end your life?
31:52Yeah, I do.
31:56Okay.
31:58He's fucking brilliant, by the way.
32:00Yeah, he's really nice.
32:01He's very, like, calm and patient as well.
32:03This ain't you.
32:05This ain't the Darren I know.
32:08You're gonna.
32:09I know.
32:10And you're struggling.
32:10I can see that.
32:12Bailey's tone is really good, isn't it?
32:15I'm worried.
32:15And it's not nice to see.
32:17I'm worried.
32:17I know you are.
32:18And I want you to let us take you up to hospital.
32:23Mm-hmm.
32:24Are you going to come with us?
32:26You're going to take me a little bit.
32:27Whatever you want.
32:29You're good.
32:29I'm forgetting I'm into the ambulance, boy.
32:31Yeah.
32:31It's not nice seeing you.
32:32I'll be honest, it's not nice seeing you like this.
32:35There you go, man.
32:38People like that just need connection.
32:40They need community.
32:41Darren will be taken the two miles to Bradford Royal Infirmary,
32:45where specialists will carry out a mental health assessment.
32:48It's talked about so much.
32:50I think the response and the system out there,
32:54like, they handle it, is worse than ever.
32:56Yeah, well, in Ireland, that's terrible.
32:58It's horrific.
33:00I haven't been going to Darren for years.
33:02I've never heard him say that he needs more support.
33:06So, for me, it was such a big change in him.
33:08I was shocked by it.
33:10Yeah, that's true.
33:11It was sad.
33:13I'm getting sad now, actually.
33:15It took it out of him, didn't it?
33:16He's getting upset, the poor man.
33:19And you'll see him again after.
33:22Well, sort him out.
33:23I don't know.
33:25Maybe I shouldn't go into social care, honestly.
33:28I don't know how the fuck I ain't going to work.
33:32It's weird.
33:33Ever since my stuff and we're past it and you were amazing
33:36and you really helped me out,
33:38but I remember going in and I told you
33:41it'll be taken more serious the second time.
33:44Well, that's a risky move, isn't it?
33:47Yeah.
33:49That still angers me.
33:50And I know people who've gone down the same route
33:54and they haven't been as lucky as I am.
33:56Like, they're gone, like, you know?
33:58Mm-hm.
33:58Don't be crying.
33:59Sorry.
34:00You're making me cry. Stop.
34:02Uh, yeah.
34:03It's just really scary when you ask for help
34:05and you don't get it.
34:06Yeah.
34:09You all right?
34:09Yeah.
34:11Love you.
34:20Book delivery sponsors Gogglebox Ireland.
34:25Book delivery sponsors Gogglebox Ireland.
34:35In Mullhuddard.
34:36Would you ever let anyone suck your toe?
34:39Sophie, her sister Chloe, and their best friend, Caleb.
34:43I asked Issy would he suck my toe.
34:45Not in, like, a weird way.
34:46We were just sitting in bed and I was like, suck my toe.
34:47How is there a normal way to, like, suck a toe?
34:50Like, not in a sexual way.
34:51I was like, suck my toe.
34:53And he was like, no.
34:55And I was really annoyed that he said no.
34:57He was like, feet are disgusting and all.
34:58But I'm so...
35:00I feel like I want someone to do it now.
35:02In saying that, I've done that.
35:04Like, Nathan's just been sitting there on his computer
35:05and I'd be like, give me that.
35:07And he's like, no.
35:08And I was like, please.
35:08And he was like, no.
35:09And I'd just be like, no.
35:11And Nick says, what, you beg to suck a toe?
35:13No, I'd just, like, be messing up.
35:14I'd be like, give me that foot.
35:15Yeah.
35:15Do you know what I mean?
35:16Just suck the fucking toe.
35:18Is it?
35:19What's the big deal?
35:20Would you do it?
35:22She's not answering.
35:24That means yes.
35:24That means yes.
35:27On Saturday, TLC got us reacquainted with the specialist subject of one American doctor.
35:37What do you mean?
35:40You love doing it.
35:42I love doing it.
35:43I don't like when I have to watch huge extractions of things that shouldn't have been built up in someone's
35:48body.
35:48My name's Shad.
35:49I'm 50 years old.
35:50I got a big nasty cyst on the back of my head that's popped open.
35:56It's like a ball.
35:57Like a boy ball.
36:00What's wrong with the boy balls you've seen?
36:02I haven't seen any.
36:05Liar.
36:05You want to get something done with that?
36:07Ten years ago, I noticed a little dime-sized bump on the back of my head.
36:10Oh, my God!
36:13I went to the doctor.
36:15He said, that's a pocket of fluid.
36:16It looks like it needs its own hat.
36:19When my kids started noticing it, then they started getting worried.
36:23Now, I know we might be old-skilled and all, but like, when you have a gaping wound that smells
36:27like death and looks like scrambled eggs, something's not right.
36:30The show gave us an eye-popping look at Dr. Li's first meeting with Shad.
36:35Hi, how are you?
36:36Does it ooze?
36:38Yeah.
36:39Oh, okay, so let me take a look at it.
36:41It looks a lot like a pilar cyst because there's a little bit of, like, I feel like stretching a
36:46tissue.
36:46Like, it was much bigger before it has kind of settled down.
36:49Looks like a prom.
36:50I'm not in proms anymore.
36:51My plan here is to really try to clean, numb this up, obviously, and clean out all the contents inside
36:57and try to get that sack out.
36:59God!
37:00Fuck me!
37:00You can see into his brain!
37:02It kind of looks like a little Pac-Man.
37:03No!
37:03There really is a lot of dried-up contents that are kind of, like, hard as a rock there, and
37:09so how can I pull these off easily?
37:11You can pop my pimple.
37:17She looks too happy for it.
37:19Hello!
37:20Hello!
37:21You made it in!
37:22You excited about this?
37:23I feel like you are.
37:23Oh, yeah!
37:24Like, is American healthcare so bad that the only way to get your pimple popped is to go on television?
37:29Short answer?
37:30Yes.
37:30Okay, just a little baby pinch.
37:32Just a baby pinch.
37:33I'm not watching this part now.
37:34This is the most disgusting part.
37:35Just the part I love.
37:37Okay, so, let's see here.
37:39You have a lot of stuff inside there.
37:42Oh!
37:43I actually can feel that pain.
37:47Your faith tells me, you know, I don't need to watch it.
37:50She's cutting it off.
37:51Do you know, I would like that as a job.
37:54Really?
37:54Yeah.
37:57Ah, lads.
37:58No, maybe I wouldn't.
37:59I don't know.
38:00I have to really scrape a lot of these contents out.
38:02And even the surface of the skin is really damaged.
38:06Oh, I can smell it through the telly.
38:09Oh, Christ.
38:10Oh, my God.
38:11Oh, my God.
38:11I looked at the wrong time.
38:13I'm scraping off some of the cyst pieces and it's kind of...
38:19This is a tough one, actually.
38:21Christ.
38:22Oh!
38:23Like, that doesn't even look like a pimple.
38:24That is not a pimple.
38:26That's a hole in someone's head that's infected.
38:28It's not a pimple.
38:29Okay, I think I got out as much of this cyst as I could.
38:34How far is she going to excavate down?
38:36Probably just fucking teeth.
38:38Later, the show took us back to Shad's place
38:40to give us a heads up on his recovery.
38:43Cyst is all gone.
38:44Oh, look.
38:45What?
38:46See that?
38:46Oh, my God.
38:47Oh, look.
38:48It looks way better.
38:49Jesus Christ.
38:50I can't...
38:52That was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
38:55And I've watched disgusting things.
38:57Have you?
38:58Yeah.
38:58Like what?
38:59Like, crazy anatomy.
39:00Like, they show you a lot of, like, surgeries and stuff.
39:02That is all not true.
39:03It's not real, isn't it?
39:04Yeah.
39:04That's the difference.
39:05The only thing that would have made that worse
39:07if they were extracting a bit of hair from the wound.
39:10That freaks me out the most.
39:11Do you know, like, ingrown hair?
39:12Do you ever watch those videos on TikTok?
39:14Why?
39:14Where I keep pulling.
39:15No!
39:16I watch Best of Britney Spears dances!
39:21In Cork.
39:23So, right.
39:24I, like, we're living in a world of zombies.
39:27Right?
39:27Zombies.
39:28Walking dead life.
39:29And I get bitten.
39:30Are you gonna kill me?
39:31Aoife and her daddy, Pawdy.
39:34Absolutely.
39:35100%.
39:36I'm doing you a favour.
39:36Would you try to find a cure?
39:38Do you think I should let you wander forever in this endless hell?
39:41Ah, no.
39:42But you can lock me up somewhere.
39:43And you can, like...
39:44I'd be doing a lot of pure love.
39:45Oh, daddy.
39:46That's not love.
39:47It is.
39:47Finding a cure would be love-like.
39:49Well, there's no cure there.
39:51Taking my head off, wouldn't be.
39:52The cure is...
39:56Good luck and thanks.
39:58This week, Virgin On Demand treated us to a night with some music-loving vampires
40:03in the year's hottest horror film.
40:06There are legends of people born with the gift of making music so true,
40:12it can pierce the veil between life and death.
40:16It's kind of about selling your soul to the devil for musical talent.
40:20Oh, is it?
40:20Yeah.
40:21This gift can bring healing to their communities,
40:26but it also attracts evil.
40:30The devil's music.
40:32Riding music.
40:36Sinners, like us, John.
40:38Love.
40:38Isn't this the thing where that music went viral during the summer?
40:41The film took us on a riotous night out at a Mississippi speakeasy in Prohibition-era America.
40:52Something I've been wanting to tell you.
40:54Has a bit of a groove to it.
40:55I throw my knickers on.
40:58This is what music's missing now.
41:00Feeling.
41:01And vampires.
41:01And vampires.
41:03Hope you don't lose your mind.
41:04With good lyrics.
41:06Yeah, but he's obviously probably singing about the slave trade and the Civil War.
41:10I know, yeah, but there's loads of stressful stuff we could sing about.
41:13Not comparative, Dave.
41:17Oh, listen to that.
41:19It's cool.
41:24Basically before this, they've summoned the demon by playing the bad music.
41:31They're the vampires, Helen.
41:36Do you know what they're looking for?
41:38Dinner on a show.
41:39Hi there.
41:40Good evening.
41:41How may I help you folks?
41:42Oh, we heard tale of a party.
41:44So easy to stop a vampire though.
41:46You just have to say, you're not welcome.
41:49Like every doorman ever when I tried to get into a nightclub when I was young.
41:52You and Amanda's coming in now, would you?
41:55You're vampires and we know.
41:58Blood-tirsty vampires.
42:00You fellas must be the owners of this establishment.
42:02They're twins.
42:03They're both played by Michael B. Jordan.
42:05Love him.
42:06He's gorgeous.
42:07That's right.
42:08And you all?
42:09Name's Remick.
42:10This here's Joan and Bert.
42:12An Irish fucking vampire.
42:14I love it.
42:15Can't we just, for one night, just all be family?
42:19He's pushing so hard.
42:20I'd be like, why do you want to get in here so much?
42:22Yeah.
42:23You don't need to do that, sir.
42:26We'll be on our way.
42:27Do they know vampires are real?
42:28No.
42:29They don't know anything's up yet.
42:30We got a little glimpse of local girl Mary's unfortunate encounter with the vampires.
42:36Oh, now you must have me confused.
42:40I'm sad as all, but I don't need no saving.
42:43Yes.
42:44Yes, you do.
42:47You all do.
42:48This is Mary.
42:49No.
42:49Mary.
42:57Oh, Jesus.
42:58Do you have to be bit on the neck to be turned into a vampire?
43:01I was just about to ask.
43:02Yeah.
43:02Or if you were running away and he caught you on the arse.
43:04And that still counts.
43:07So she's a vampire, though?
43:09Oh, no.
43:10You gonna let me in?
43:11Don't let her in!
43:13Come on.
43:13Come in.
43:15No.
43:16No!
43:18Shit.
43:18Go out there and tell me this song.
43:21Would you let her bite you?
43:22Huh?
43:23Would you let her bite you?
43:24Would you?
43:25Lie.
43:29Oh, no.
43:30She's gonna bite your willy now, watch.
43:32She's down here playing the wrestling.
43:35Oh, she's eating him!
43:38Stop.
43:40Get away.
43:43Oh, no.
43:46Oh, no.
43:48Jesus!
43:49Would she need, like, a steak through the heart?
43:51Yeah, or suddenly.
43:52Yes!
43:53I'll be back, don't you?
43:54I wouldn't fancy being a vampire.
43:56You literally can't go to the beach, can't eat garlic bread.
43:59The two main bits of life.
44:01Later, as we saw main characters smoke, deal with the body of the undead, we were treated to a surprisingly
44:07familiar song.
44:09They're playing music.
44:10I cut a stout black thorn.
44:15It's an Irish song.
44:16I know it is an Irish song, Dad.
44:17It's a good song.
44:18Well, in the merry month of day, from me home I started yesterday.
44:22If you were inside now, you'd be like, ah, the vampire's having great crack now.
44:26Will we go out for a look?
44:31Oh, here, I'd like it out there and dance with them.
44:32What? Maybe like you thought?
44:34Bite me if you want to, you know?
44:40Phew!
44:42Well, apart from the biting and the blood sucking, they seem like a little crack.
44:46Yeah, they're both members, but they're a crack.
44:47Lovely bunch.
44:50Come on in, you motherfuckers!
44:52Oh, fuck!
44:53She's after inviting them all in!
44:55No!
44:59Jesus!
45:00Fuck!
45:02Put the tea down!
45:07Yes!
45:08Finally!
45:09Jesus!
45:10Come on!
45:13How much blood do you need, though?
45:15Like, when's enough?
45:16That's the thing.
45:17It's like Chinese.
45:18When's enough enough?
45:19You keep eating it, you know you don't have enough.
45:20It's not like Chinese, Sarah.
45:21It is, though.
45:21It's not.
45:25Jesus, he's flying in Everton.
45:30The real taste of sweet pain of death.
45:34We will make beautiful music together.
45:39See, these monologues is always what gets the villains killed.
45:47Yes!
45:50Good riddance to you, bye.
45:54Oh, and the sun is!
45:55Oh, and the sun is!
45:55Yes!
45:56Come on, son, come on!
46:01So really and truly, we could've all just waited for the sun.
46:04I don't...
46:04We all just exhausted ourselves.
46:06It's just a lesson in patience.
46:08Honestly.
46:11I tell you, if we were waiting for the fucking sun to come up in Mullingar, we'd be fucking
46:15waiting forever.
46:16This would be a vampire's fucking paradise.
46:20If you've been affected by any of the issues raised in this program, please visit our support
46:25See you next time, please.
46:25I don't know.
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