00:00So apparently the 2026 Milan Cortina Winter Olympics just gave us the wildest plot twists
00:07in Stanya Harding Met Netflix. Athletes are being investigated for Nutella doping. Yeah,
00:12you heard me right, Nutella. Forget steroids, forget EPO. These guys allegedly went full
00:19hazelnut spread mode. Officials claimed jars of Nutella were being used like protein shakes,
00:24except instead of building muscle, they were building cavities and questionable life choices.
00:30Now, here's the kicker. One South American athlete still managed to snag a historic gold medal,
00:36making it the first ever for their country. Imagine the press conference. I dedicate this
00:41medal to my coach, my family, and Ferrero Rocher. Meanwhile, the anti-doping committee is probably
00:48googling is Nutella performance enhancing or just delicious. Spoiler, both. And let's be real,
00:55if Nutella is banned, half of Italy is technically in violation. The crowd at the Olympic Village
01:01Breakfast Buffet must look like a crime scene. Honestly, if spreading Nutella on toast counts
01:06as cheating than my grandma's been juicing since 1972.
01:10too.
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