Deadly Shores (2018) | Full Lifetime Thriller Movie | Carly Schroeder, Phillip P. Keene
Deadly Shores_ is a 2018 Lifetime TV thriller directed by Fred Olen Ray. It follows Anna, who marries a famous mystery writer and moves to a remote island, only to discover dark secrets about his dead first wife. As strange events unfold in their lighthouse home, Anna fears she’s next.
It’s a slow-burn psychological thriller with themes of gaslighting, trust, and survival.
Anna loses her father and quickly marries Richard, a well-known mystery novelist. He takes her to live on a secluded island in his lighthouse. The place is filled with memories of his late wife Grace, who died suddenly.
The housekeeper Mrs. Argyle is cold and protective of Grace’s memory. Anna starts experiencing blackouts, hearing voices, and finding evidence that Grace’s death wasn’t an accident. The islanders act suspicious, and Anna realizes Richard may be hiding something dangerous.
She has to figure out what really happened before she becomes the next victim.
Carly Schroeder as Anna
Phillip P. Keene as Richard
Kristin Minter as Mrs. Argyle
Henry LeBlanc as Samuel
Hedley Harlan as Beth
Kathryn Schneider as Carrie
Mark Torres as Dr. Shaw
#DeadlyShores, #FullMovie, #LifetimeMovie, #Thriller, #PsychologicalThriller, #MysteryMovie, #CarlySchroeder, #Lifetime2018, #MovieRecommendation, #ThrillerMovies,
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*Note*: This is a Lifetime TV movie. Full movies are usually available free with ads on Hoopla and Fandango at Home. I can’t provide illegal streaming links.
Want me to write you a 2-line YouTube description + tags you can copy-paste directly?
Deadly Shores_ is a 2018 Lifetime TV thriller directed by Fred Olen Ray. It follows Anna, who marries a famous mystery writer and moves to a remote island, only to discover dark secrets about his dead first wife. As strange events unfold in their lighthouse home, Anna fears she’s next.
It’s a slow-burn psychological thriller with themes of gaslighting, trust, and survival.
Anna loses her father and quickly marries Richard, a well-known mystery novelist. He takes her to live on a secluded island in his lighthouse. The place is filled with memories of his late wife Grace, who died suddenly.
The housekeeper Mrs. Argyle is cold and protective of Grace’s memory. Anna starts experiencing blackouts, hearing voices, and finding evidence that Grace’s death wasn’t an accident. The islanders act suspicious, and Anna realizes Richard may be hiding something dangerous.
She has to figure out what really happened before she becomes the next victim.
Carly Schroeder as Anna
Phillip P. Keene as Richard
Kristin Minter as Mrs. Argyle
Henry LeBlanc as Samuel
Hedley Harlan as Beth
Kathryn Schneider as Carrie
Mark Torres as Dr. Shaw
#DeadlyShores, #FullMovie, #LifetimeMovie, #Thriller, #PsychologicalThriller, #MysteryMovie, #CarlySchroeder, #Lifetime2018, #MovieRecommendation, #ThrillerMovies,
---
*Note*: This is a Lifetime TV movie. Full movies are usually available free with ads on Hoopla and Fandango at Home. I can’t provide illegal streaming links.
Want me to write you a 2-line YouTube description + tags you can copy-paste directly?
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I don't want to play soccer.
00:00:02Let's go get ice cream and lotto tickets.
00:00:05First of all, don't ever let your mother hear the phrase lotto tickets, okay?
00:00:09Second of all, no, we can't.
00:00:11You can't leave your team behind.
00:00:15They're counting on you.
00:00:17Do you know that goalie is probably the most powerful position on the field?
00:00:21I mean, it's just as important to save a goal as it is to score one.
00:00:25They need you.
00:00:26Really?
00:00:27Are you kidding me?
00:00:29You know that box around the goal?
00:00:32That's your domain.
00:00:33That is your kingdom.
00:00:35And if one of these little pasty bitches get inside of that goal box,
00:00:40I want you to roar so loud that you just scare the shit out of them.
00:00:48You think I'm kidding?
00:00:50I'm serious.
00:00:51Hey, inside that box, no one can fuck with you.
00:00:56Now let's hear you roar.
00:00:57Come on.
00:00:59I'm sorry.
00:01:02Did I stutter?
00:01:03Let me hear you roar.
00:01:05Oh, oh, oh.
00:01:06God, oh, God.
00:01:08That was terrifying.
00:01:09I didn't expect that.
00:01:11Oh, boy.
00:01:11You scared me.
00:01:13It's like I saw a ghost or something.
00:01:14Come on.
00:01:15Yeah, but ghosts aren't real.
00:01:17Hey, ghosts are extremely real, maybe.
00:01:19What?
00:01:20Really?
00:01:20Oh, yeah, there's far too much paranormal phenomena.
00:01:23Not that it relates to a larger cosmology,
00:01:26but there's a lot of psychic residue,
00:01:29powerful emotion,
00:01:31unfinished business.
00:01:33Then again, what the hell do I know?
00:01:36You know everything.
00:01:39I know everything about one thing.
00:01:41I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.
00:01:44You've got me.
00:01:47Always.
00:01:48All right?
00:01:49Forever.
00:01:52You and me.
00:01:54He won't get off my lap
00:01:58He won't get off my
00:02:00Doesn't see the heaven and it's on him down
00:02:04I am not the woman that you think I am
00:02:10Oh, I swallow up a mountain and I'm quiet as a clam
00:02:16Saturday and Sunday in the poison air
00:02:22Oh, and every day I work I hope to put the poison there
00:02:29Oh, he won't get off my back
00:02:35Oh, he won't get off my back
00:02:38Hi, yes, this is Matilda Grover
00:02:39Won't get off my glasses
00:02:42Won't get off my glasses
00:02:44Won't get off my glasses
00:02:46Won't get off my glasses
00:02:48Won't get off my glasses
00:02:54Hi! Yes, this is Matilda Grover.
00:02:57I'm calling because my father Daniel helped me make this teen debit account when I was a minor,
00:03:06which I still am a proud teen debit account holder.
00:03:13And I would like to have him removed from the account for personal reasons.
00:03:23But I can just tell you, he's a charlatan.
00:03:28Yeah, a grifter.
00:03:33Still a bunch of money from my mom.
00:03:36If you have a drop down, you can put dead to me.
00:03:41But my mom, Francesca, should definitely stay on the account because she puts money in it.
00:03:47I love my mommy.
00:03:50Hello?
00:03:52Hello?
00:03:56I saw the cutest guy in my AA meeting and I was gonna set you up with him, but...
00:04:03You gotta stop that.
00:04:04I know, but you know what? It's okay because he died.
00:04:09So, like, problem solved.
00:04:11No, no, no, no, no! Don't start it yet. Violet's coming. She's gonna freak out.
00:04:15I don't think she's gonna mind. She's been a lot more chill recently.
00:04:19Is that true?
00:04:21I didn't lose you in my fucking mind. Dad is dying of cancer and nobody gives a shit except for me.
00:04:24So, hi!
00:04:26What?
00:04:27Pausing the show.
00:04:29I'm gonna go, uh, check on the, uh, call.
00:04:34He called several times when I was in court trying to keep a homeless kid out of the foster care system.
00:04:37And I'm sorry, what were you doing? Babysitting some rich lady's cats?
00:04:41They're dogs.
00:04:42Right.
00:04:43That's it.
00:04:45Ex-husband, father, dying, and nobody cares.
00:04:49I obviously care. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. Cure cancer?
00:04:55You could try. You could. Or you could muster up any kind of compassion for a loved one.
00:05:00Or are you too busy raising generationally wealthy dogs?
00:05:02Oh my god, I don't have to have compassion for him anymore.
00:05:06That's why people get divorced.
00:05:07Yeah, mom, I'm obviously not talking about you. I am talking about...
00:05:09Me.
00:05:10Yeah.
00:05:11Yeah, she's talking about me.
00:05:12Because I did what everyone told us both to do and I stopped talking to our attic dad.
00:05:18Who, by the way, had a gun collection.
00:05:21Secret gun collection.
00:05:22A secret gun collection.
00:05:24Six guns is not a collection.
00:05:26A secret six gun collection.
00:05:28So, I'm finding it a little hard to know what to do when you tell me he has cancer.
00:05:33Well, you know what I found hard? Trying to pass the bar exam while dad was living in my front yard? In his car.
00:05:38I sent your grandpa over there to tell him to leave and he was gone already.
00:05:42Yeah, not voluntarily. They towed his car because there weren't enough wheels to put boots on.
00:05:45I can't believe he figured out how to drive that car.
00:05:48Insane.
00:05:49Did you see the tumor?
00:05:51You're kidding.
00:05:53Are we sure there's an actual literal tumor?
00:05:56Doctors should show you proof.
00:05:58Yeah, because he also told me that he knew Quentin Tarantino and I never saw him.
00:06:03I am the only one that cares about him. I'm the only one that's there for him.
00:06:07You hear yourself, right?
00:06:08I do. I have perfect hearing.
00:06:10Violet, the man is a dangerous, destructive alcoholic and my Al-Anon sponsor says that you need to at least let us detach with love.
00:06:19Don't say love. Don't say detach with love. He's not dangerous. He cried more than you did when your hamster died.
00:06:25Because you had just gone to college, he named it Violet and then it ran away.
00:06:29It was spelled differently and you know that.
00:06:32Please don't fight. It makes me feel like I'm a bad mom.
00:06:34You're not a bad mom.
00:06:36Dad is a human being, okay? And he raised you while mom was working. Sorry. He deserves your compassion.
00:06:43Not for me. I don't have it for him. He called me a cunt when I was 11 years old.
00:06:48You were a cunt when you were 11 years old. Grandma calls me a cunt all the time and I still see her.
00:06:52Doesn't count from her because it's a term of endearment.
00:06:54You don't get to say it's a term of endearment from her.
00:06:56You don't get to say that. You don't get to decide whether or not it's a term of endearment for me.
00:06:59From Grandma? Yeah.
00:07:00Just to clarify, I worked because he did not and these are important feelings for me to have.
00:07:07Which is why I am going to excuse myself and go write in my journal.
00:07:11She's just going to leave. That's what she's going to do.
00:07:16Journal store. He's going to have to put a wing in her honor.
00:07:18Move. I have to move.
00:07:21Come on. Come on.
00:07:25Okay.
00:07:26Oh my god. I wish I could have been there when she got arrested.
00:07:35You really should see him.
00:07:38You're going to regret it if you don't.
00:07:40He's not going to die.
00:07:42Why?
00:07:45Okay.
00:07:46No. I can feel you need me.
00:07:49I got a date. Look.
00:07:51You go on so many dates.
00:07:52You go on so many dates.
00:07:54Wow.
00:07:55I know.
00:07:56It's very attractive.
00:07:57Well, it's like his hair is a little bit swipier here, but it's more of a boy band.
00:07:59What are we doing?
00:08:00What?
00:08:01Oh, wow.
00:08:02I feel like he needs water.
00:08:04What do you need?
00:08:05That's a lot of tattoos.
00:08:06He looks thirsty.
00:08:07Okay, stop. This is great.
00:08:08That's an expense.
00:08:09No, I don't need the input actually, so thank you.
00:08:12This was fun, guys.
00:08:13Seriously, what a good hang.
00:08:14I love this.
00:08:15Um, yeah.
00:08:16Let's do this again.
00:08:17After I have a lobotomy.
00:08:19Something I said?
00:08:21Wanna watch Housewives of Carl?
00:08:22Uh, no.
00:08:23But I love you, Beau.
00:08:24Love you.
00:08:25I think you would really like it.
00:08:27I don't know about that.
00:08:29Oh my god.
00:08:32Oh, well now she's too thin.
00:08:35I heard she is on a zipper.
00:08:39And so I tried to get it for myself.
00:08:42You know, but the doctor on the website said that I don't weigh enough, so I lied and told
00:08:46him I weigh more than I do.
00:08:48And then he didn't believe me, so I can't get it.
00:08:53What?
00:08:57I hope she uses protection with that tattoo guy.
00:09:00Oh my god!
00:09:01I love having sex without a condom!
00:09:06Yeah!
00:09:07Me too!
00:09:08See, we have so much in common already!
00:09:10If I haven't gotten pregnant yet, I can!
00:09:13Don't worry!
00:09:14Every time I try to donate sperm, they say, never mind!
00:09:16Okay, shut up!
00:09:21Hey, have you seen Dad?
00:09:23Shit.
00:09:24I haven't gotten around to it.
00:09:28Well, I can't find him.
00:09:29Start calling hospitals.
00:09:31Just any hospitals?
00:09:33I know that you don't want to deal with this, but I'm scared the worker's gonna figure out
00:09:36I'm pregnant.
00:09:38Figure out?
00:09:39Didn't your coworker congratulate you yesterday?
00:09:41Yes, and I threatened to sue her for fat shaming.
00:09:44Wow.
00:09:45You crossed your legs the other day, and I'm pretty sure I saw the head.
00:09:48Our Dad is missing!
00:09:51Have you even seen him since he got sick?
00:09:53For your information, I've been busy.
00:09:55With what?
00:09:56I'm walking up and down the hill, wearing Julianne's Fitbit so that I can get her steps in because
00:10:03she's trying to lose weight.
00:10:04Doesn't it sound insane to you that Dad is missing?
00:10:07This sort of happens all the time.
00:10:09Maybe, but it sounds more insane not looking for our missing father.
00:10:12Yes!
00:10:13Yes, you agree?
00:10:14Oh, no, sorry, I just, um...
00:10:17I just completed one of Julianne's rings.
00:10:20She's gonna look really great at the Emmys.
00:10:22I am so glad we have our priorities straight.
00:10:25So...
00:10:42Okay, I found him.
00:10:43How did you do that so fast?
00:10:45So, the short version is that the tumors are eating him alive.
00:10:51What was the long version?
00:10:52Uh, the tumors are eating him alive.
00:10:55Would you like to see images of the tumors?
00:10:57No.
00:10:58Okay.
00:11:00Sometimes people want proof.
00:11:01Is there any treatment that could work?
00:11:04Chances are slim.
00:11:05Uh, again, I can show you the x-rays of all these tumors.
00:11:08Please stop.
00:11:09Okay.
00:11:10Well, your father's inside.
00:11:15You coming?
00:11:16No.
00:11:17I...
00:11:18I am.
00:11:19Uh...
00:11:20Yeah, I am.
00:11:21I'm just, uh...
00:11:22I'm gonna call Mom.
00:11:23Let her know what's happening.
00:11:24Okay.
00:11:25Let her know what's happening.
00:11:26Okay.
00:11:27Let her know what's happening.
00:11:28Okay.
00:11:45rabbit hi daddy I love you so much I love you too yeah hey don't worry I have no
00:12:05intention of kicking the bucket anytime soon I know I know I know it's telling coming she's
00:12:20gonna be here any second can you can you put Spongebob on we watch that together me and Tilly
00:12:35I love you I know I love you and so does Tilly you love her too right I don't know dad
00:13:00if I want to steal that TV for me dad come on
00:13:09Tilly says her father is being eaten alive by tumors
00:13:29he's giving the tumors an awful lot of agency it sounds like he's dying I don't want to go but
00:13:38I feel like the good moms are with their daughters when their fathers are dying my mom was with me
00:13:44when my dad died and she was a good mom just look at me sweetie hey thank you for coming oh no it's
00:14:01okay um is Tilly here um she is somewhere yeah I think she heard dad say that he doesn't know if he
00:14:10loves her are you fucking kidding me I don't know um well remember uh his brain is not in the best
00:14:20shape at the moment yeah yeah no I hey listen um do you want to see his tumors there is doctor
00:14:26that will be your best friend if you want to look at them I mean I kind of do I okay I'm just kidding
00:14:33okay okay no it's okay to not be okay no I'm really I'm good I'll uh look for Tilly in a second
00:14:58yeah yeah
00:14:59I've never been to a puppet show yes you have
00:15:27we smelled poop and we didn't realize it was on our shoes when how old was I we were like four or
00:15:34something I feel like I would remember if we went to a puppet show and it was poop on my shoe we were
00:15:39oh my god
00:15:41Daniel hey Daniel dad
00:15:46Daniel hey hey no no no no no dad no no no no Tilly Tilly
00:15:52dad dad it's okay it's okay I'll take care of the girls I swear everybody will be okay I'll make sure
00:16:12that they're okay
00:16:13you didn't know we had problems but you've loved them so much is he gone
00:16:16sweetheart come here come here come here come here
00:16:24come here
00:16:26come here
00:16:34oh my god
00:16:39oh my god
00:16:44oh my god
00:16:46oh my god
00:16:48oh my god
00:16:49It's like a bed to me, like a ghost kind of person, and she's like a ghost to me.
00:17:11I mean, missing those last moments with her dad after cutting him out of her life for so long?
00:17:17Well, procrastination is a hell of a drug. Okay, I'm at the store looking at ice cream. They're all out of Halo Top sea salt caramel. What's your next choice?
00:17:25You know what? Fuck Halo Top. I watched someone die tonight, so I deserve the real shit.
00:17:30You got it.
00:17:32I know that Tilly's decision was really complicated. It's just I hope that this whole thing doesn't wind up haunting her for the rest of her life.
00:17:44Hey Frankie, we gotta talk.
00:17:47What just happened? No, what's going on?
00:17:49Where'd you go? Where the fuck was that? Did you do that?
00:17:51What do you want? You want me to go to Gelson? Are you okay?
00:17:54Uh, everything's normal. I'll call you back.
00:17:56What do you mean everything's normal?
00:17:58Oh, my God. Uh, okay. I deep breaths. I am hallucinating.
00:18:05No, you're not.
00:18:06Uh, okay then. I'm having a stroke?
00:18:09Not having a stroke. Do you smell burnt toast?
00:18:12You know I don't eat bread!
00:18:13Look, you know what? I've been looking for you for hours. Something really strange is going on.
00:18:19Wait? Really? Because I am talking to my dead ex-husband in a mirror.
00:18:26Just calm down. We don't know that I'm dead.
00:18:28I watched you die!
00:18:30Oh, so now you're a doctor.
00:18:32You know what? You have always diminished my fucking accomplishments!
00:18:36You're literally not a doctor!
00:18:37I could have been a doctor if it wasn't for you!
00:18:40I'm seeing things. I'm seeing things. I'm seeing crazy things.
00:18:44I had a crazy day, and now I'm going crazy!
00:18:48I'm seeing things I'm seeing...
00:18:50Wow! Fuck!
00:18:52Don't panic.
00:18:53Fuck you! Fuck you!
00:18:55Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
00:18:57I gotta call my foster, call my shrink.
00:18:59I don't know what to think. I don't know what to call my foster.
00:19:01You don't think I'm fucking crazy. That was a fucking...
00:19:03Oh, my God. Hey, if you're another ghost, I may be Jewish,
00:19:07but I am very clear on the true meaning of Christmas, thank you!
00:19:11I'm coming in!
00:19:12Ghost can come in now?
00:19:14I didn't say you were the first person to see me.
00:19:18Oh, my God! He's in your mirror, too?
00:19:21This is real.
00:19:23Do you see a light at the end of a tunnel?
00:19:26Go towards it!
00:19:27Don't say go towards it! Don't go towards it! That's how they get you!
00:19:30There's no light.
00:19:31Now, I seem to be in some strange, uh, liminal space.
00:19:38Hard to describe, but, uh...
00:19:41Well, it seems to have something to do with mirrors.
00:19:44Of course, I tried to explain this to Stephen Hawking back in the 80s.
00:19:49You never met Stephen Hawking.
00:19:51Don't lie from the afterlife. There could be repercussions.
00:19:54Stephen Hawking could be standing behind you. He could punch you in the head!
00:19:57I'm not dead.
00:19:59You'll never be dead to me, Daddy.
00:20:01I'm really not dead!
00:20:03Okay, let's uni go to the thankfully mirrorless deck so that we can call to the...
00:20:20Hello?
00:20:21Hi, sweetie! Were you asleep? Did you take that pill I gave you?
00:20:25Yeah, I don't think it worked.
00:20:27Sweetie, can you go to the mirror and tell me what you see?
00:20:32Like, you're my Sarah Lawrence acting coach?
00:20:35Just do it? Just do it.
00:20:41Okay.
00:20:48Getting up.
00:20:49I am walking.
00:20:57Here, here. I'm here.
00:20:59Do you see anything?
00:21:02If this is another body positivity thing, it didn't really work last time.
00:21:08You don't see anyone else?
00:21:10No, but you're starting to scare the shit out of me, so that's good.
00:21:23Okay, listen. I need you to come over. Your sister and I have to talk to you.
00:21:29Now?
00:21:30Yes, right now!
00:21:32I know.
00:21:33It's like the end of Our Town, but in Our Town we're a one-man show.
00:21:37But you never owned that blazer is my point, you know what I mean?
00:21:39I had that blazer.
00:21:40I don't think you did.
00:21:42Hey!
00:21:43Hey!
00:21:44Whoa!
00:21:46We're seeing your father.
00:21:50At the morgue?
00:21:51In the mirror.
00:21:52He's in the mirror.
00:21:53He's in the mirror.
00:21:54He's in the mirror.
00:21:55Bring her over to the mirror so she can see me.
00:21:56You've got to go to the mirror.
00:21:57Come here.
00:21:58In the mirror.
00:21:59The man is in the mirror.
00:22:00Dad is in the mirror.
00:22:01Yeah, he's in the mirror. It's like a miracle.
00:22:05Why can't she see me? She can't see me.
00:22:07I don't know. You're not even a predictable ghost.
00:22:10Hey, Mudgee, it's me! It's Daddy! Have her turn when she can't...
00:22:14Hey, thanks for visiting me all those times. I really...
00:22:18Can you hear what he's saying?
00:22:19Yeah, can you hear what he's saying?
00:22:21Can you hear what you're saying?
00:22:22Oh, God, we have to convince her.
00:22:24I feel bad for Grace, because this is hard.
00:22:26I know. I know.
00:22:27Oh, you know what? I have it. I have it. I have it. I have it. I have it.
00:22:30I have it.
00:22:31Oh, Dana, what is something that you know about Tilly that neither mean or violent...
00:22:36No, that's smart.
00:22:38It's genius.
00:22:39Right? Thank you.
00:22:40Is this, like, some mean and very convoluted way of getting me to admit
00:22:44to stealing Grandma's cigarettes in middle school because I didn't do it?
00:22:47How would I know if she told you? You banished me from the family.
00:22:51You never told Tilly a secret?
00:22:57Oh, my God! You stole from my purse to buy dipping dots for your father when he took you to the track?
00:23:05Matilda!
00:23:06Oh, my God. I've never told anyone that. Because I genuinely forgot.
00:23:12Dad?
00:23:13I don't... I can't see him. Am I doing something wrong? Maybe.
00:23:27No. Don't say that.
00:23:29Noah?
00:23:30No, no, no, no, sweetheart. No, no. Don't feel bad.
00:23:33Because, um, we don't know what kind of supernatural mishigas is going on.
00:23:38I mean, I... I was married to him, and, uh, Violet is the eldest daughter, so...
00:23:44Yeah.
00:23:45Maybe it's like a Passover thing.
00:23:46A Passover thing.
00:23:47Yeah.
00:23:48Oh, or maybe, um, I knew him longer before he relapsed?
00:23:51Yeah, yeah. I think it just might be a very, very tight circle on this one.
00:23:58Where is he?
00:24:00Oh, Jesus.
00:24:01It's like...
00:24:02Don't answer it.
00:24:03I have to.
00:24:04You don't have to.
00:24:05Uh, hey, Mom. Not a good time right now.
00:24:07Oh, I won't keep you long.
00:24:09Uh, Grandpa and I, uh, seem to be having a nervous break.
00:24:15He wants to go to a mental institution, and I am not that worried.
00:24:21What are you talking about?
00:24:23We're seeing your deadbeat dead husband in every mirror.
00:24:26Oh, my God. My whole family is being haunted without me.
00:24:32Oh, they're seeing him, too.
00:24:35Oh, where's everybody?
00:24:37Ah, I got, like, way too much ice cream.
00:24:41I know, but it's a big night. We got a lot of candles.
00:24:44What are we doing? Just looking at ourselves in the mirror?
00:24:46Here's Danny.
00:24:47Oh, God! Jesus!
00:24:49Fuck!
00:24:50Don't...
00:24:51Everybody! Come up! Come with me! Come on!
00:24:53Ah!
00:25:00Okay, the mirrors are covered.
00:25:01Let's talk ghosts.
00:25:03What?
00:25:04No!
00:25:05I want to know why Carl has not proposed to Frankie yet.
00:25:13Oh, no, no, no, no!
00:25:14Whoa, you can't do me like that.
00:25:15Mom, no, this is not what that is about.
00:25:16Is this this? This is this now?
00:25:17We're doing this now?
00:25:18We're here to talk about ghosts.
00:25:19Ghosts.
00:25:20Spot on, Grandma.
00:25:21Shut up.
00:25:22Okay!
00:25:23That is why we're here.
00:25:24Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:25:25Anyone who can see Daniel, raise your hand.
00:25:28Yeah.
00:25:29Cool.
00:25:35Ghosts are real.
00:25:36And my whole family is going crazy without me.
00:25:39It's not fair.
00:25:40But if it helps, I really, really hate that I can see him.
00:25:43And I really, really hate that he can see me.
00:25:46You?
00:25:47I looked into having him killed.
00:25:48Killed?
00:25:49Well, casually.
00:25:50I asked my jeweler if he knew someone.
00:25:52Jewelers know people.
00:25:55Jewelers know people.
00:25:58Why can't I see him?
00:26:01Hmm.
00:26:02I don't think this is about you.
00:26:04Actually, now that I think about it.
00:26:05Oh, you're right.
00:26:06It's about the jeweler.
00:26:07Hey, if it makes you feel better, you can have mine.
00:26:09It's not what it's cracked up to be.
00:26:10Thank you, Carl.
00:26:11That's really generous of you.
00:26:12See?
00:26:13Some people are sort of offering their ghosts.
00:26:15I think everybody should be a little bit more generous.
00:26:18Hey, guys.
00:26:19Hey, guys.
00:26:20As opposed to you being a huge bitch.
00:26:21Well, I'm talking.
00:26:22So, announcement for me.
00:26:23You can be quiet now.
00:26:24Thank you so much, everybody.
00:26:25So, I was talking with Dad privately.
00:26:29And he doesn't exactly know what's happening.
00:26:32But he thinks he might not be dead.
00:26:35Mm-hmm.
00:26:36What does he think he is?
00:26:37What?
00:26:38Whoa, whoa.
00:26:39You know what?
00:26:40I can't with this fucking guy.
00:26:41All right, look.
00:26:42It could be true.
00:26:43It could not be true.
00:26:44And whether he's correct or not, I think we should cover our bases by
00:26:46A, protecting his body from erosion.
00:26:48I don't know when that starts.
00:26:49And B, going to his apartment and getting all of his photos, which we have to do anyway.
00:26:53That might be what's keeping him here.
00:26:55And nobody wants that.
00:26:56I mean, condolences.
00:26:59What were his last wishes?
00:27:00Maybe he's already been cremated.
00:27:02He didn't have last wishes because he ate a specific brand of cookie every day that he thought would make him live forever.
00:27:09No, no, no, you idiot.
00:27:10No, it wasn't a specific brand of cookie that he thought was going to make him live forever.
00:27:13He thought that if he ate it long enough, medical science would catch up and intervene.
00:27:16The guy was a cook.
00:27:17It's different.
00:27:18I'm the idiot in that scenario.
00:27:19You are the idiot.
00:27:20That's what I said.
00:27:21Did I not say that?
00:27:22Why don't we donate his body to science?
00:27:23Is that real?
00:27:24Sure.
00:27:25The one person that can't see him is guessing his last wishes.
00:27:28That seems right.
00:27:29I think that makes sense.
00:27:30Oh, my God.
00:27:31You're such a dick.
00:27:32You're such a dick.
00:27:33Body works?
00:27:34You don't know that.
00:27:35We went one, two, one.
00:27:36Okay.
00:27:39Whoa.
00:27:40Hold on.
00:27:41I know someone we can talk to.
00:27:44A therapist?
00:27:45No.
00:27:46But a very intuitive person.
00:27:49Better not be Barry.
00:27:51It's Barry.
00:27:52Mm-hmm.
00:27:53Great.
00:27:54Okay.
00:27:55I am gonna go ahead and call the hospital about Dad's body.
00:27:58Unless Barry can come into it this for us.
00:28:01So, excuse me.
00:28:07Is this a sign?
00:28:09I don't generally believe in signs, but I also didn't believe in ghosts until tonight.
00:28:13A sign for what, sweetie?
00:28:15That I shouldn't have listened to everybody and cut off contact with him because now I'm being punished by him denying me his presence.
00:28:21Why can't he punish me?
00:28:23I don't get it.
00:28:24Do you want to be haunted by him?
00:28:26I just don't understand why I can't see him.
00:28:29And I don't want to be going crazy over this, but it's pissing me off that my whole family is being haunted by my dad without me.
00:28:37Maybe he had unfinished business with all of you.
00:28:42Unfinished business?
00:28:44The man never worked a day in his life.
00:28:46Yes.
00:28:47Yeah, he did.
00:28:48He was a taxi driver and he made all those lamps and he helped Uncle Herbie fix his computer all of those times and he was a government contractor.
00:28:53He was kicked by a police horse and the government paid him off.
00:28:56That is not called employment.
00:28:58The horse was really provocative though.
00:29:00Thank you so much.
00:29:01Appreciate it.
00:29:02Okay, so that was the hospital and they said we can move him to any mortuary.
00:29:06We just have to call or we can donate his body to something called Science Care.
00:29:11Terrell, they're not open right now and I work during business hours and I'm eight fucking months pregnant.
00:29:17So I'm gonna need you to call and get our dad's body back.
00:29:21Me?
00:29:24No.
00:29:25I can't.
00:29:26Julianne is having a really hard time with the company that delivers her soup.
00:29:30She likes puree and they keep sending Chunky and it's destroying her.
00:29:35Is that a yes?
00:29:38Sure.
00:29:39Yeah, you know what?
00:29:40I will go collect the body of the man who can't even be bothered to haunt me.
00:29:46This puts in my mirror.
00:29:48Daniel, talk to your daughter.
00:29:50You can't even ghostwrite.
00:29:53I swear, after I die, I'm coming back and I'm haunting every single one of you.
00:30:00Thank you, Grandpa.
00:30:02No, no.
00:30:03It's okay.
00:30:04Okay.
00:30:10Hi, is this Tile Gromer?
00:30:12Tile?
00:30:13Do you think there's a person named Tile?
00:30:15Uh, whoever filled out the intake form put Tile.
00:30:18It's Tilly.
00:30:19Matilda.
00:30:20Matilda.
00:30:21Who are you?
00:30:22Hi, Miss Grover.
00:30:23This is Owen from Science Care.
00:30:25Oh, yeah.
00:30:26Hi.
00:30:27I've been calling you.
00:30:28Um, you have to get my dad's body from the hospital and there's a lady there who's,
00:30:32um, very mad at me as if I'm supposed to go get it or something.
00:30:37Well, I'd love to get that taken care of for you.
00:30:40We just need a little bit of additional information.
00:30:42Okay.
00:30:44Uh, we'll need an affidavit stating that there are no remaining conflicts with the estate.
00:30:49What does that mean?
00:30:51Uh, just that affairs are settled and all fine with the estate.
00:30:56Estate? He lived in Section 8 housing.
00:30:59Got it.
00:31:00Uh, well, still, you know, just to-
00:31:03So, uh, you want me to go to my dad's place and rummage through the trash to confirm that it is trash?
00:31:13Sadly, yes. And we will also need it notarized.
00:31:19Come on!
00:31:24I-I-I am so sorry, Miss Grover. That is so profoundly difficult.
00:31:29And I do understand, you know, even past being your account representative,
00:31:34I'm a man. Human. Man.
00:31:37I understand emotions and I feel them.
00:31:40And-and I'm a-and I-as a human- member of the human species with you.
00:31:45Yeah, well, keep saying it because it gets more convincing every time you do.
00:31:50I wish I could help, you know.
00:31:51And-and if you need someone to be here while you process those feelings-
00:31:55I just can't get rid of this guy.
00:31:59He dies and then I have even more work to do than from when he was alive.
00:32:06And it's like I can't get away and my sister is bearing down on me and I can't even see my dad.
00:32:11Right. Because he's passed.
00:32:13But you said, it's not like he's a ghost.
00:32:17But if he was, and my sister and mom could see him.
00:32:23But I couldn't.
00:32:25What would you suggest that I do since you work for science?
00:32:32Well, I work for science care, not just sort of the concept of science.
00:32:36But I would say, you know, in this extremely specific and obviously impossible scenario,
00:32:42that sister and mother are very close intimate relationships with a lot of baggage.
00:32:48And it might behoove you to find a more neutral mediator.
00:32:52Maybe someone a little even keeled and impartial to help reestablish that connection.
00:32:57That's what I would do.
00:32:59Like a science care guy.
00:33:01No, no, not me. It can't be.
00:33:04You know, I would say, though, that I am, I am here for you.
00:33:10You know, feel free to call me.
00:33:11I'm assigned to your case.
00:33:13And once again, my name is Owen.
00:33:15And I'll be here.
00:33:17Thanks, Owen. You're a real one.
00:33:20If you say so.
00:33:22There is a short survey after we get off the call together that I would love.
00:33:26Hello?
00:33:27She hung up.
00:33:31You and Dad always got along so well.
00:33:34And the case manager at Science Care says that we could use a mediator,
00:33:38which I don't think is his job.
00:33:40I think he gives Dad's body parts to medical students.
00:33:43But you love to mediate.
00:33:46So maybe you can help us connect.
00:33:48I do love to mediate.
00:33:50Okay, Renee, mediate away.
00:33:52When was the last time when you and I just hung out?
00:33:58Um, yeah, I don't know, Grandma.
00:34:01That's really sweet.
00:34:02But Violet is really writing my ass about this ghost thing.
00:34:05Didn't mean it when I said I didn't know whether I loved her or not.
00:34:07Can't you just talk to each other?
00:34:09No, see, that's literally the whole problem.
00:34:11No, see, that's what I'm saying.
00:34:12No problem.
00:34:13Please let me handle this.
00:34:16I am the mediator.
00:34:19Daniel, Tilly wants to talk to you.
00:34:24Now, see, I can hear and see her.
00:34:28She can't hear and see me.
00:34:30I am not deaf or foreign.
00:34:33Will you please tell Tilly that I'm so...
00:34:39Are you still talking to this asshole?
00:34:41Yes.
00:34:42Will you shut the fuck up for five...
00:34:46Don't even fucking think about it.
00:34:52You're dead.
00:34:53I'm not.
00:34:54So suck on that.
00:34:56I'm obviously astral traveling or a Bodhisattva on some higher level of consciousness.
00:35:03You are not on a higher plane.
00:35:05You're stuck here because you, in life, were a deadbeat.
00:35:09You stole from your wife.
00:35:11You abandoned your daughters.
00:35:13You lied to everybody.
00:35:14No wonder your kids didn't want to talk to you when you got sick.
00:35:19Hmm.
00:35:21Tilly forgot the leftovers.
00:35:26Mom?
00:35:27Mom in here?
00:35:28No.
00:35:29Oh!
00:35:30Everyone's a critic.
00:35:31That's amazing.
00:35:33I figured, since you can't see him...
00:35:34Voila!
00:35:35That's for me?
00:35:36It's not for me.
00:35:37Awesome.
00:35:38Yeah.
00:35:39Cause I...
00:35:40I tore him out of all my pictures.
00:35:41So a giant painting is perfect.
00:35:42Sweetheart!
00:35:43Oh, Jesus!
00:35:44Not my favorite.
00:35:45Oh, God!
00:35:46Oh.
00:35:47Oh!
00:35:48Oh, sorry.
00:35:49Okay.
00:35:50Oh, Mom.
00:35:51I talked to the science care guy.
00:35:52Oh!
00:35:53Oh, I'm sorry.
00:35:54Okay.
00:35:55Oh, Mom.
00:35:56I talked to the science care guy.
00:35:57What?
00:35:58Oh, yeah.
00:35:59Oh, my God.
00:36:00Oh, my God.
00:36:01Oh, my God.
00:36:02Oh, my God.
00:36:03Oh, my God.
00:36:04Oh, my God.
00:36:05Oh, my God.
00:36:06Oh, my God.
00:36:07Oh, my God.
00:36:08Mom, I talked to the science care guy.
00:36:10They can get the body of the man who doesn't know he loves me.
00:36:14So call the psychic rabbi.
00:36:17I have to go.
00:36:18Oh, okay.
00:36:19Okay, okay, okay.
00:36:20It really is fantastic.
00:36:22It's frightening.
00:36:23Does she...
00:36:24Do you want this?
00:36:25Or is it...
00:36:26This is for me.
00:36:29How do we feel about some horns?
00:36:35Why can't I get you out of my life?
00:36:37Well, this normally comes at the end of the story, but you still love me.
00:36:41You need to make things right with Tilly so the demons can come and suck you away like the bad guy in Ghost, the guy with no eyebrows, the guy whose father was a famous producer, the guy who played the president in Scandal.
00:36:54You need to call that psychic rabbi so we can get to the bottom of this astral projection thing or whatever the hell it is, and then I'll come back and I'll straighten things out with Tilly.
00:37:03I cannot tell somebody that my dead ex-husband doesn't think he's dead because that's gonna make me look like a fucking idiot.
00:37:11Yeah, we can't have that, can we?
00:37:13Oh my God.
00:37:14You know what?
00:37:15You denied having going into my bank account and stealing money from me to buy a bunch of guns.
00:37:20I wanted to be the only liberal with guns.
00:37:23You denied being drunk when I dragged you to the car and showed you all of the empty beer cans.
00:37:30Since losing my corporeal form, I've really sobered up.
00:37:34And now you're denying having died. Congratulations, you win a denial.
00:37:41And you believe in ghosts, so what the hell do you know?
00:37:45I know that you said you didn't love Tilly.
00:37:49I did not say that I don't love Tilly. I said that I didn't know if I love Tilly because my brain was filled with tumors or so they'd say.
00:37:58You know, I happen to be going through a very hard time right now.
00:38:02You know, that is just like you to conveniently have tumors to blame your bad behavior on.
00:38:08All I know is that Tilly cannot go through the rest of her life thinking that her father doesn't love her.
00:38:15And you know that.
00:38:17That would be bad. All right. All right.
00:38:23I'll take care of that. I'm on it.
00:38:26But you have to call that rabbi.
00:38:28Unless you want your husband in the mirror for the rest of your life telling you how you really look in those jeans.
00:38:33Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
00:38:41Hello. You've reached Rabbi Barry. Shalom. To schedule a bris, press one. To schedule a bar or bat mitzvah, press two. To schedule a psychic clearing, press three.
00:38:57Sure. Three.
00:39:01Hello. This is Owen from Science Care. How can I help you?
00:39:04Hi, Owen from Science Care. This is Matilda Grover calling to check on Daniel Grover's body.
00:39:11Hi, Miss Grover. So yeah, we received all the paperwork. We can release those ashes to you right away.
00:39:16Ashes?
00:39:22Yeah, that's what we, uh, that was what we listed at the hospital. Is that a problem?
00:39:28No. I just didn't realize you were gonna burn them. And now I don't really know how that's gonna affect the metaphysical aspect of all of this.
00:39:42What?
00:39:44I have no idea why I'm inclined to ask you this, but what do you think happens when we die?
00:39:50Uh, wow. Well, you know, any number of things. Our website actually lists a bunch of the options. We have cremation, air burial...
00:39:58Not to our bodies. To our spirits.
00:40:03Oh. I'm afraid I don't know, Miss Grover.
00:40:07This family member. He can't see me.
00:40:15Not the real you, right?
00:40:17Sure. When he was in the hospital, I couldn't look at him. And I tore him out of all my photos, so...
00:40:25It's like there's no proof that he was ever even my dad.
00:40:30Got it. I'm so sorry.
00:40:35Now I'm just sort of worried. What if I'm his unfinished business and this is all my fault?
00:40:44Forgive the forwardness, but is it maybe just as possible that he is your unfinished business?
00:40:50Wait, what's air burial?
00:40:59Air burial is a cultural custom where a body is left on a high altitude surface to be picked clean by birds.
00:41:06He would have loved that.
00:41:09You're sober.
00:41:11analytically, I can see him's a little bit.
00:41:12I'm sorry.
00:41:14I can see him yet.
00:41:15Be careful.
00:41:16I can see him.
00:41:18I can see everyone else in the office.
00:41:20Let's get back.
00:41:21I can see everything.
00:41:23I don't know.
00:41:25There's no clue about my husband.
00:41:26I can see him.
00:41:27I can see him.
00:41:28When you're in the office, I can hear him.
00:41:29If he was okay.
00:41:30He was okay to see him.
00:41:31He was okay.
00:41:32He was okay to see him.
00:41:33I can see him at the house, but it was okay.
00:41:36I don't know.
00:42:06I don't know.
00:42:36I don't know.
00:43:06I don't know.
00:43:36I don't know.
00:43:48I don't know.
00:43:50I don't know.
00:43:52Why won't you come talk to me?
00:43:54Why can't you come haunt me?
00:43:59You're so broken.
00:44:02And I'd do anything to talk to you.
00:44:05To be sweet to you instead of chastise you.
00:44:12I'd run the family dry to make you feel like you got the respect you thought you deserved.
00:44:26I'd learn everything there is to know about metaphysics for you.
00:44:34I'd cure cancer.
00:44:38None of it would have mattered or changed anything that happened, but I'd do it now.
00:44:44Dad.
00:44:54Dad.
00:44:54Dad!
00:44:54Look at how you lived.
00:45:06I'm doing it.
00:45:13I'm facing my unfinished business.
00:45:20I'm not hiding in the hallway anymore.
00:45:24I did the right thing cutting you out of my life.
00:45:32I did the right thing cutting you out of my life.
00:45:46Because this is what you do.
00:45:50You hurt people because you only ever cared about yourself.
00:46:00I'm glad I can't see you.
00:46:04I'm glad you're out of my life.
00:46:06Forever.
00:46:08Daddy, I am so sorry about the cremation.
00:46:35Hey, don't worry about the ashes.
00:46:38I'm sure that whatever power allows me to manifest can also reconstitute a human body.
00:46:45It's just molecules.
00:46:46Yeah.
00:46:47Yay.
00:46:48Yay, okay?
00:46:51So, before the seance begins, I was thinking maybe you could walk to the drugstore, I could
00:47:03look through the glass in the lotto machine, find the winning numbers, you could buy a ticket.
00:47:09Bing, bang, boom.
00:47:10We've got enough money.
00:47:11Bring me back into this plane.
00:47:12I could pay off my student law debt.
00:47:13I could pay off my student law debt.
00:47:15Hmm?
00:47:16Sure.
00:47:17Sure.
00:47:18He's your eyes on the prize though, rabbit.
00:47:20Right.
00:47:21I do technically think that might constitute as fraud.
00:47:22And I don't know if we want to use your ghost powers for evil.
00:47:25Uh, not a ghost, sweetie.
00:47:26Well, you might be, right?
00:47:28I mean, Dad, I am on your side, but I was in the room.
00:47:34I watched you flatline.
00:47:35Isn't it beautiful that you might be a spirit there to protect the family when my son is
00:47:44born, your grandson?
00:47:45Isn't it enough for you to just watch over us like this?
00:47:49No.
00:47:50No.
00:47:51No.
00:47:52No.
00:47:53Right.
00:47:54No.
00:47:55I'm in a mirror.
00:47:56I'm in a mirror.
00:47:57I want to be with you.
00:48:00Yeah.
00:48:01Yeah.
00:48:02You know, where all the action is.
00:48:04Right.
00:48:05And I want that too.
00:48:07And...
00:48:08Yes.
00:48:09Yeah, okay.
00:48:10Atta girl.
00:48:11Okay.
00:48:12Okay.
00:48:13Okay.
00:48:19I don't like that shade.
00:48:20I never liked it.
00:48:21I wasn't asking you.
00:48:22Um, did you get the goods from Dad's?
00:48:25Yes.
00:48:26Everything that wasn't covered in mold.
00:48:27Or did you want the mold?
00:48:28Ha.
00:48:29Ha ha.
00:48:30Okay.
00:48:31Well, did you get his diving helmet?
00:48:32And did you get his fencing sword and the rocks?
00:48:34Did you get the box of cables?
00:48:36Box of cables.
00:48:37That's what I forgot.
00:48:38Because we need that.
00:48:39Not a joke.
00:48:40All right?
00:48:41Because, look, it might provide some sentimental value.
00:48:45The cables?
00:48:46I don't know.
00:48:52Are you excited for this?
00:48:53I guess.
00:48:54Yes.
00:48:55Any luck figuring out why you can't see Dad?
00:48:56I don't know.
00:48:57Maybe the connection's not strong enough and there's too much dread.
00:49:01Hey, babe.
00:49:02I think I'm finally getting cauliflower ear from jiu-jitsu.
00:49:04Hey.
00:49:05Huge day for me.
00:49:06Huge.
00:49:07Oh, hey, Mr. Grover.
00:49:09Yes.
00:49:10Oh, come on.
00:49:11He can see him?
00:49:12You never even met him.
00:49:14Don't worry, Tilly.
00:49:15It's only because I busted raw on your sister.
00:49:17Eric.
00:49:18Sorry, Mr. Grover.
00:49:19Ugh.
00:49:20Dad!
00:49:21Yeah.
00:49:22So I should just bust raw on somebody and then I'll be able to see my dad?
00:49:25Eric.
00:49:26Come on, come on.
00:49:27Eric, come on.
00:49:28Ma'am, did you drink when you were pregnant with me?
00:49:30Of course.
00:49:31Isn't it recommended?
00:49:33We are gathered to discuss the lingering spirit of Daniel Grover.
00:49:42And what may yet be done to ease his passing from this life into the next.
00:49:53Barry is a psychic rabbi.
00:49:57Do you think we don't know why we're here?
00:50:00What I need you to know is that this haunting is very real.
00:50:08It's not just in your mind.
00:50:11Yeah, this dude is way more specific than any of the other apparitions I know.
00:50:15He made fun of me about my birthday.
00:50:17I didn't even know I was self-conscious about that.
00:50:19Oh, you're gonna make a wonderful father.
00:50:22Yes.
00:50:24Mazel, by the way.
00:50:26Ah.
00:50:28The most common misconception I hear about hauntings is,
00:50:35oh, the ghost is haunting the living.
00:50:40However, it's you who are haunting him.
00:50:44Wow.
00:50:46You're haunting dad.
00:50:48Yay, yay, and yes.
00:50:51Bullshit.
00:50:52You all need to unburden yourselves of an attachment to him.
00:50:58Every single one of you.
00:51:00Well, I, I can't see him.
00:51:05But you probably already knew that.
00:51:07Your father isn't visiting you?
00:51:09No.
00:51:10Wow.
00:51:11That's impressive.
00:51:13That means you've already let him go.
00:51:15Shut up.
00:51:17Shut up.
00:51:18You hear that?
00:51:21I did everything right.
00:51:22Didn't say that.
00:51:23You know, this whole time, Barry, I've been feeling very guilty and jealous
00:51:28about this whole haunting thing.
00:51:30And, um, I guess what you're saying is that I'm the most advanced family member
00:51:36because I don't have any unfinished business with him.
00:51:40Now I'm happy the Jew Witch is here.
00:51:42Thanks, Barry.
00:51:43You're a real one.
00:51:45Now, what I need from the rest of the family is to come to terms with the fact that what
00:51:54you need from him will never be fulfilled.
00:51:58Oh, I knew that already.
00:52:00That's why I divorced him.
00:52:01Yeah, speaking of letting him go, I never wanted him.
00:52:04I saw him once at Christmas and that was too much.
00:52:07Fulfilled.
00:52:08For crying out loud, the man annoyed me from the day I met him.
00:52:12You hold on to more than you know.
00:52:18Barry, I say this with love.
00:52:21Fuck you.
00:52:23Come together as a family.
00:52:26Revel in the living bond.
00:52:30But above all else, let him go.
00:52:35Go!
00:52:36And if anyone needs advice or pointers from the most advanced member of the family, I'd be
00:52:42more than happy to help all of you oldies.
00:52:45Okay.
00:52:46Um, no, thank you.
00:52:47Barry, how are we supposed to do that?
00:52:49Heed these words.
00:52:51Follow my advice.
00:52:54The remains of the deceased must be released in a ceremony that I have created based on the
00:53:01teachings of Rabbi Nachman and some Steely Dan songs.
00:53:07Dad hated Steely Dan.
00:53:08Yeah.
00:53:09All right.
00:53:10Uh, let's all, um, gather round for the ceremony in front of the garbage can.
00:53:16Hey, Daniel.
00:53:17Goodbye, Daniel.
00:53:18Goodbye, Daniel.
00:53:19Goodbye, Captain Shitbag.
00:53:21Fuck you.
00:53:22Oh, fuck you, man.
00:53:23I don't need it.
00:53:24No, fuck.
00:53:25Yes.
00:53:26It can't be done now.
00:53:28It has to be done.
00:53:30Please say full moon.
00:53:31Please say full moon.
00:53:32On the full moon.
00:53:33Hey, Barry, where'd you go to rabbinical school?
00:53:35Was it the, uh, crystal store on La Cienega?
00:53:37I love that place.
00:53:38And we can have it at Carl and Frankie's.
00:53:41Oh, no, no, no.
00:53:43By this new moon, all the lingering unresolved feelings must be made whole within this family
00:53:56or else his soul will be trapped with you until you all perish.
00:54:05But most important of all, I take checks only.
00:54:14Check this out.
00:54:15Hey!
00:54:18Are you even fucking?
00:54:20Yes.
00:54:21I'm fucking your ex-wife.
00:54:22Can I watch?
00:54:23Oh, I thought you were.
00:54:25I have no idea what she sees in you.
00:54:28Oh, gosh.
00:54:29Let's think.
00:54:30Uh, lack of delusions.
00:54:32Uh, my own money.
00:54:34My, my dick doesn't taste like Europe in the summer or like it sleeps under a bridge.
00:54:41Why are you doing this?
00:54:43You heard Rabbi Barry.
00:54:44This is unfinished business.
00:54:46She has unresolved feelings.
00:54:47You made her terrified of marriage.
00:54:49And I have to fix that.
00:54:50Hey, okay, just calm down.
00:54:52I fucked her, too.
00:54:53Then we got married and it messed everything up.
00:54:56You're gonna mess everything up.
00:54:57God, shut up.
00:54:59Everybody in her family talks so fucking much.
00:55:06You know, she is writing terrible things about you in her journal.
00:55:11Stop talking!
00:55:13So I went to the pagan candle store to get the Kabbalah trinkets for the fish concert ceremony to release dad's soul.
00:55:25But what do you, for the ashes, what do you want to do with them?
00:55:30Well, it's not a them, it's a him.
00:55:31Dad is a him, he is a him.
00:55:33It's not him.
00:55:34Well, it's not it.
00:55:35Did it feel right to you?
00:55:37What do you want to do with him?
00:55:39Flushing down the toilet?
00:55:40I don't fucking know.
00:55:41This sucks.
00:55:42And I wasn't expecting them to ship him back in a box.
00:55:44Yeah.
00:55:46Dad is worried you're not taking the astral travel thing seriously.
00:55:52Oh, well I'm not.
00:55:54Don't, stop.
00:55:55It makes sense.
00:55:56It does.
00:55:57He explained it in a way that I think is really pretty.
00:56:00It was like time, I'm butchering it, but it was like time is a lie.
00:56:03You went to law school.
00:56:05I know that.
00:56:06I know that and I'm stressed and I'm due any day now.
00:56:09And Eric has an eye infection from his jujitsu mouth guard.
00:56:12And it wasn't his jujitsu mouth guard.
00:56:15He said he wanted to try on somebody else's.
00:56:17Oh.
00:56:18My God.
00:56:21Now.
00:56:22No.
00:56:23What are these?
00:56:24Um, it's...
00:56:25What are these?
00:56:26These look really familiar.
00:56:27What do they look like to you?
00:56:29Look like lottery tickets.
00:56:30They're lottery tickets.
00:56:31Because Dad had a good idea and I actually think it was a really good idea for when, if,
00:56:35when he gets back, when, you know, if, when he gets back and then he'll have money.
00:56:40It's responsible, I think, personally.
00:56:42So it's just nice, you know?
00:56:43Oh my fucking God, Violet.
00:56:46Dad is still manipulating you.
00:56:48Okay, look, we don't know what's possible, okay?
00:56:50Ghosts are real.
00:56:54What if...
00:56:56What if he can come back?
00:56:58From the dead.
00:57:00I guess you know absolutely everything.
00:57:03You're so smart, maybe you should get a regular job.
00:57:05Uh, so that way I don't have to vet with you $1,100 every month.
00:57:07So that way you can live.
00:57:08In a storage unit?
00:57:12Alright.
00:57:14So, counselor, what's the plan?
00:57:16You're gonna bring Dad back from the dead and win the lottery and raise a child with a guy who got an eye infection from a mouth guard?
00:57:24Sounds like a really good plan.
00:57:25What then?
00:57:26You'll never be free in this realm or the next from Dad's bullshit?
00:57:31Man!
00:57:32I really thought that you'd be able to let this go when he died.
00:57:37But for someone who's about to be a mom, maybe you should quit acting like a kid.
00:57:45I'm gonna go be the responsible one and get a bunch of soup for my boss.
00:57:50Who really didn't like the soup I got her before.
00:57:53Jesus Christ.
00:57:54You love her too, right?
00:57:55I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to help you. We're trying to have a conversation with you.
00:58:07I don't know what this was wrong.
00:58:09And life is not all about you. You didn't appreciate it. Nobody appreciated it.
00:58:11You didn't appreciate it. Nobody appreciated it.
00:58:13Those are extremely real.
00:58:15There's a lot of psychics.
00:58:16I'm gonna love you. I don't know.
00:58:18I don't know what this was wrong.
00:58:20I don't know what this was wrong.
00:58:21And life is not all about you.
00:58:22You didn't appreciate it. Nobody appreciated it.
00:58:24You didn't appreciate it. Nobody appreciated it.
00:58:25You don't appreciate it.
00:58:26Those are extremely real.
00:58:27screen there's a lot of psychics good morning frankie it's rabbi barry i'm having a premonition
00:58:46that i'm going to be a little late to the seance tonight the full moon is here see you tonight make
00:58:51sure you have the photos the remains and maybe a rotisserie chicken my beautiful family all
00:58:57gathered here to get rid of the ghost of my dad who they can all see in the mirror except for me chin
00:59:03chin did you know charles manson killed sharon pate next door he did not did he kill anyone next door
00:59:09nope sorry man wow you found someone crazier than dad at least i have somebody how is it going with
00:59:15that customer service robot that incinerated our father did you see how stupid larsa was at the
00:59:21reunion last night i love larsa oh you know why like tilly did an incredible job at your dad's
00:59:28apartment i mean really it was spotless yep it was spotless no cleaning fee you kept the photos right
00:59:37but someone must have been murdered on this block though right eric yeah right do you want to go
00:59:42start asking neighbors or will they know to lie tilly what the photos um i have some photos on my phone
00:59:50right i'm talking about the ones on film of like his fucking grandparents from his apartment
00:59:56i threw out the photos because it's time to let go
01:00:10come on
01:00:14nobody in this family feels anything huh okay where's your backpack
01:00:19what your backpack that stupid yellow backpack here and okay so what are you doing enough to find
01:00:25here we go um i'm not doing this is what i'm doing here we go stop what are you doing you can't just
01:00:31take the ashes why not you want what's left of his body so you can throw that away too
01:00:36probably why you can't see him you just want to throw him away get rid of him all of you do but you
01:00:40can't just take dad's ashes why are you in control of everything that has to do with him because you don't
01:00:46care at all you're right i don't care about him we're such a fucking brat mom she threw away the
01:00:53photos yell at her i don't want to be in the middle of course you don't eric we're leaving
01:01:02you can't go we can't do the ceremony without you good i don't want him to what about what i want
01:01:07congratulations mom you have made this all about you actually all of you have made it about you because
01:01:12you are all narcissists i am not a narcissist i have asked several shrinks and two sponsors and
01:01:19what i am is an alcoholic drug addict compulsive over reader because my mother didn't pay enough
01:01:25attention to me because she is a narcissist i am not a narcissist i am a hysteric eric let's go
01:01:32come on we're leaving but there's free food here this food is free right okay put as much
01:01:37llami as you can in your pockets because we are gone no no you can't leave until you say i'm not a
01:01:43bad parent well in comparison you weren't dad was so bad why are you attacking me because we're
01:01:51fucked up and you're the only parent we have left ladies please stop being such cunts eric we're leaving
01:01:59come on i can't abandon a pregnant woman at an exorcism not again he took all the salami oh jesus this
01:02:16exorcism sucks let's go it's in the middle of rush hour i don't care great okay call your sponsor call
01:02:26your therapist reading your journal take a bath i'm sorry i'm so sorry you want to go to petrosio yes
01:02:38that went well
01:02:47hello science care owen speaking am i a bad person one moment please hi mrs henderson i'm gonna have to put
01:02:54you on hold miss grover what seems to be the problem now okay i'm just gonna level with you
01:03:00my sister is being manipulated by the ghost of our dad yes i knew it was ghost sorry continue really
01:03:06yeah my family's haunted by banshees wow okay so my sister is being hoodwinked by our dead dad into a
01:03:16lotto scheme at eight months pregnant and my mom isn't doing anything to help us
01:03:22it's not fair and i'm the only one not being haunted by my dad and rabbi barry says that i let go
01:03:28great so i'm right and everyone else is wrong
01:03:34tilly i'm gonna level with you i was hit by a car this week okay and we cleared your case
01:03:42you're off of our books you received the ashes i'm not even really sure how you got my number our
01:03:47system should have automatically cycled you out to some other inbox i found your linkedin profile
01:03:56look suffice it to say i've got other stuff going on now everything you told me paints a picture of
01:04:02you being right except for one thing what's that the fact that you're calling me at all
01:04:09are you real after the day i've had miss grover i honestly don't know look i'm some customer service
01:04:22rep on a lot of painkillers who can't stop seeing banshees but i do know one thing of the two people
01:04:29on this phone call right now only one of them needs to be convinced that you're right and it's not
01:04:36me you are wasted in your field sir maybe look if this is not too forward of me i'd love to email
01:04:46you my personal phone number and take you out for a lovely oyster dinner
01:04:49well like you sure know how to keep a girl on her toes the one from science care
01:05:08i wasn't gonna bring this up but your dead ex-husband keeps telling me that i'm a
01:05:13fucking loser and so i need you to tell me that you're not writing down carl is a fucking loser in
01:05:20your book never should have had kids with him not everyone does everything right all the time i can't
01:05:27afford to not do everything right all the time i'm all they have left and i'm doing this all on my own
01:05:33and exorcism really frankie you wanted me to call rabbi barry he says this is the way to go and you
01:05:47just took his word for it you didn't get a second opinion how many psychic rabbis do you think there
01:05:52are uh seven zero i did not give my consent for this okay and violet was right you can't just throw
01:06:00me away you know you've never been the brightest bulb on the tree i mean you actually believe in
01:06:05ghosts how you doing carl hey would you put me down put me down please come on man i'm getting
01:06:10nauseous let me tell you something if i was a ghost i would haunt the shit out of you wow frankie
01:06:19will you marry me yes i will i love you too but you will
01:06:35oh give me your phone give me your phone give me your phone give me your phone okay okay okay hi dilly
01:06:42uh update um your father is poltergeisting the house but i am taking charge and so you need to go
01:06:51get your grandparents and i'll go get violet and then we can have the ashes okay oh i'm engaged wow
01:06:58congrats you're so lucky guy the guy that gives you all the money i work up such a sweat running all
01:07:06over the place poltergeisting is hard work well you don't have to poltergeist anymore i got your ashes
01:07:10back and i am not gonna let them throw you away again oh that's my little bunny listen turns out
01:07:15rabbi barry obviously a quack here's what i'm thinking book a ticket to switzerland we put my ashes
01:07:21in that large hadron collider dad i can't go to switzerland i'm so pregnant what what are you talking
01:07:29about get your grandson i'm doing two weeks i'm like so pregnant see i'm like you know what whenever
01:07:35i told your mother that she looked pregnant she did not like it right right um dad i want to help
01:07:41you uh when you when you come back what do you think is going to happen hmm well likely i'll be
01:07:48exhausted right i would like to have my situation studied also i'm gonna get a place to stay you know
01:07:54uh someone to look after me take care of me so if not you who else you you were supposed to be the one
01:08:03taking care of me just like i'm gonna have to take care of this kid because because i'm having a kid
01:08:13i'm having a kid
01:08:16fuck i'm having a kid
01:08:20well look shut the fuck up daniel sweetheart look i know you don't want to get rid of dad
01:08:26we have to get rid of dad wow that was so easy eric you're the man of the house would you please talk
01:08:32some sense into your soon-to-be baby mama sir with all due respect without your daughter i'm just the
01:08:38craziest guy most people have ever met and while you are my third favorite ghost that i know my loyalty
01:08:43lies to my family marry him
01:08:58i'm gonna go inside and put the salami back i felt too guilty to eat it
01:09:03i'm gonna go inside and i'm gonna go inside and i'm gonna go inside and i'm gonna go inside and
01:09:12thank you
01:09:17um i watched the reunion and larsa is so stupid
01:09:23i love her
01:09:24wait wait wait wait sit with me sit with me sit with me am i a bad mom not even close
01:09:54you
01:09:56spirit your family is gathered here your remains are gathered here spiritual time of all on the full
01:10:08moon i miss when barry was just a lawyer we are here to release you we do not want to do your dirty
01:10:17work
01:10:19no more
01:10:19no your soul
01:10:22be
01:10:23freed from the living you cease to be haunted by the unresolved feelings of the living
01:10:32baruch
01:10:33koi alanoi alohano alohano alohano
01:10:39be free
01:10:42and the angai yamabana school of magical rabbi studies
01:10:49i release you
01:10:52this house will be clean spirit daniel grover we release you
01:11:00it's good to meet you
01:11:02it's good to meet you
01:11:04thank you
01:11:05it's okay i'll get to take care of the girls
01:11:07happy chance man
01:11:08we release you goodbye
01:11:13stop throwing shit people live down here
01:11:22is he still here
01:11:25something's not right
01:11:28can i go inside now
01:11:31it's got to be the photos
01:11:33oh no i brought the photos
01:11:39how did you know she threw them out
01:11:41i didn't i've just been dumpster diving for old photos every night while you're asleep for an art
01:11:46project i didn't know who the guy was but then i was like oh little violet sorry i probably should
01:11:52have mentioned that i didn't really put it together until right before we came back here
01:11:56then it's something else
01:11:58we have to figure it out
01:12:01it's me
01:12:03barry you're wrong
01:12:05i disagree but i want to see where you're going with this
01:12:10i'm not advanced
01:12:12i haven't let go
01:12:13let go
01:12:14i'm not
01:12:14resolved
01:12:18i thought running away
01:12:20was the same as letting go
01:12:22but now i've run a million miles away from the thing i actually had to deal with
01:12:29i was an asshole to my dad for not talking to him for eight years i was an asshole to violet for
01:12:35throwing out all of his shit i was an asshole to my mom for making her feel like a bad parent
01:12:41i'm such a fucking asshole that not even a ghost will haunt me
01:12:47so that begs the question how did i become such an asshole well i learned from the
01:12:56fucking best baby master manipulator master asshole my dad the ghost who i know can hear me
01:13:11don't you see this is just another con he never shows himself to me
01:13:15and now we can't fucking get rid of him the absent father who never leaves it's brilliant
01:13:25i couldn't wait for him to die so that i didn't have to deal with avoiding him anymore
01:13:33which is why it's so weird that i waited outside of the room while he died
01:13:41i just couldn't face him and now every night i dream of his dead face
01:13:55my sister was a better daughter than me and now my whole family is stuck with him
01:14:00because i just couldn't be there for my dying father
01:14:13tilly
01:14:16tilly it's okay it's not okay sweetheart it's it's really complicated i i'm sure on some level you
01:14:23wanted to be with him but i wasn't with him
01:14:26and we even did a big seance about it and maybe you just fucking miss your chance sometimes
01:14:35i want it to go away but it won't go away
01:14:40and maybe i should have been there for him when it mattered instead of when i felt like it oh god
01:14:46how could she say that how could she be so detached from reality that she doesn't know that i love her
01:14:59you know a lot of what you said back there just isn't true
01:15:20i love you and this is not one of my schemes
01:15:34i wasn't in my right head back at the hospital
01:15:37what do you want
01:15:52hmm what do you want
01:15:55want me to admit i'm dead okay i'm dead i am so fucking dead
01:16:04i wish you'd answer i got a feeling i'm running out of chances
01:16:16maybe you're right after all
01:16:25sometimes you just
01:16:33miss your goddamn face
01:16:35hey you remember when you started playing soccer and you got really upset because
01:16:47you had to play go
01:16:53saving the goal is just as important as scoring the goal
01:16:57that the goalie's the most powerful position on the team
01:17:01and no one is more powerful than my little girl
01:17:13i'm sure i'd recognize you if i lost my memory
01:17:20there's no voice on earth that speaks so sweet
01:17:29i hope that next lifetime you'll be somewhere next to me
01:17:35remember what i told you next
01:17:43if any one of those little bitches comes anywhere near my goal box
01:17:48i want you to scream and roar as loud as you can
01:17:54and scare the living out of them
01:17:56whoa
01:17:57and
01:18:02leave your game
01:18:05love
01:18:09RAHH
01:18:10JENN
01:18:10RAHH
01:18:11THAT IS
01:18:11LIKE
01:18:12DESPARIO
01:18:13WALL
01:18:14I stare
01:18:15WALL
01:18:17WALL
01:18:19WALL
01:18:20WALL
01:18:21..
01:18:26If I was a star, I'd always be right in your view
01:18:35And someday I'll hope you see me too
01:18:42I know that it's not always open
01:18:48If I had the chance, I'd do it all again
01:18:56Why are my feet wet?
01:19:00Why are my feet wet?
01:19:03Oh my god
01:19:04Oh my god
01:19:04Ew
01:19:05Oh my god
01:19:06This is it, this is it
01:19:07Oh my god
01:19:07Oh my god
01:19:08The baby is coming
01:19:10It's go time
01:19:11This is coming from so fantastic
01:19:13At the bottom there's a stir
01:19:21And now the surface is a blur
01:19:23Tell the truth like it's a joke
01:19:26And don't fix the park
01:19:27It isn't broken
01:19:28I know I'm just a memory
01:19:30And I know that's how it's gotta be
01:19:33So tell the mirror on the wall
01:19:36Mirror, mirror on the wall
01:19:38There's no reflection here at all
01:19:41Mirror, mirror on the wall
01:19:45There's no reflection here at all
01:19:50I'm so tired I can't sleep
01:20:14The secret set my secret's key
01:20:16Down the stairway to the church
01:20:19Black birds hanging in the lurch
01:20:21And I don't wanna see my name in stone
01:20:24I tied a ribbon round the bone
01:20:26I took a ride in a yellow car
01:20:29And I bought myself an old guitar
01:20:32Things ain't what they used to be
01:20:34I got a devil after me
01:20:37Tell the mirror on the wall
01:20:38Tell the mirror on the wall
01:20:39Mirror, mirror on the wall
01:20:41There's no reflection here at all
01:20:44Mirror, mirror on the wall
01:20:48There's no reflection here at all
01:20:52Mirror, mirror on the wall
01:20:58There's no deflection here at all
01:21:04You're looking high, you're looking low
01:21:10You got something on your mind
01:21:14Did someone give you bad directions?
01:21:21Were you in the wrong place at the wrong time?
01:21:28They found a body in the river
01:21:32They found an end up in the sand
01:21:36Leave my world into the water
01:21:41Leave my body to the land
01:21:46Fear won't get off my back
01:22:00Fear won't get off my back
01:22:03Fear won't get off my back
01:22:06Fear won't get off my back
01:22:08Fear won't get off my back
01:22:09Fear won't get off my back
01:22:11Fear won't get off my back
01:22:12Fear won't get off my back
01:22:13Fear won't get off my back
01:22:14Fear won't get off my back
01:22:15Fear won't get off my back
01:22:16Fear won't get off my back
01:22:17Fear won't get off my back
01:22:18Fear won't get off my back
01:22:19Fear won't get off my back
01:22:20Fear won't get off my back
01:22:21Fear won't get off my back
01:22:22Fear won't get off my back
01:22:23Fear won't get off my back
01:22:24Fear won't get off my back
01:22:25Fear won't get off my back
01:22:26Fear won't get off my back
01:22:27Fear won't get off my back
01:22:28Fear won't get off my back
01:22:29Fear won't get off my back
01:22:30Fear won't get off my back
01:22:31Fear won't get off my back
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