- 7 weeks ago
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00:00That slaps.
00:05What's that?
00:06It's something that's really good.
00:08I quite like that.
00:09That slaps.
00:10Whoa! That slaps, man.
00:12God, that girl's Peng.
00:13Peng's gone.
00:14What?
00:15It's Leng.
00:16If you're fit now, it's like, Alan, you're Leng.
00:19You're Leng.
00:20Am I ever going to find love on this island?
00:22I just don't think there's any gays.
00:24Maybe underground gays.
00:26Well, dead.
00:27Right, I'll get a shovel. Let's go on a dink.
00:32Let's go on a dink.
00:39In the beautiful island of Corfu, Amanda and I are spending the summer renovating a family holiday home.
00:48We've completed nearly all of the rooms and now we're taking on a space each.
00:55I'm doing up the bathroom.
00:58And I'm tackling the old landing.
01:03I was thinking, you know, to dip into the Greek culture, the cradle of learning.
01:09And I was thinking of having a reading room, a bit of a day bed.
01:13Yes.
01:14Yeah, and I just think books and then maybe one of those busts of like a Greek god.
01:19You know, Hercules or something.
01:21What about Hercules lifting up the bunk bed?
01:24No.
01:25Can you imagine how amazing that would be to come in and then Hercules is like that.
01:30I want it to be full of books.
01:32I want a day bed.
01:33I want a ladder like you get in posh libraries.
01:36And I want it to be like full of philosophy and, you know, mythology and stuff like that.
01:42Real Greek centre of learning.
01:44And what are we going to do about this bathroom?
01:46Well, this is where I feel like we can go really Greek.
01:50Yeah.
01:51And I was thinking of a round bath.
01:55But I wondered about sort of mosaic tiling along the halfway so it looks very Greek.
02:01Yeah.
02:03A chandelier.
02:04I mean, doesn't it just look a bit ostentatious?
02:08Amanda always has these grand plans and they get bigger and bigger and more fabulous.
02:15The potential for that to look awful is really high.
02:21Before we can start the interiors, we've got to knock down the internal wall,
02:26dividing the spaces so a new solid one can be built.
02:29But Amanda's more concerned about fitting in her circular bath.
02:34Is this, um, is this floor coming up?
02:37We have to.
02:38Yes, good.
02:39Might need it to because I'm having a round bath.
02:42So we need to, to, yeah.
02:44It needs a strong floor.
02:45Because it's heavy.
02:46It's going to be heavy.
02:47Yes, it's going to be heavy.
02:48Why can't, why just have a normal bath?
02:49I want something different.
02:50Round is stupid.
02:51Bathrooms are my speciality.
02:52Round?
02:54It's quite plain.
02:55Where do you find that picture?
02:57Where is it?
02:58It's on my mood board.
02:59Well, it's just the photo.
03:00It's AI.
03:05Look, Alan, please tell me, can you?
03:07I'm with Stamatic.
03:08This is AI.
03:09That is not AI.
03:11I think the, the unicorn in the bath is a bit of a giveaway.
03:14Can't wait to see it.
03:19It will happen.
03:22It's huge.
03:23I have a vivid imagination and I, I have quite outlandish ideas, but I can see it all.
03:35It's going to work and it has to work.
03:37I'm just going to say this, I think there's more chance of a bus turning up at this bus stop than you get in around Bluebath in Corfu.
03:46There, I've said it.
03:50Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
03:59In order to make my reading room a centre of learning, I've got to get to grips with Greek mythology.
04:06So I'm whisking Amanda away to Corfu's Achillian Palace for a research trip.
04:11God, stunning.
04:12Isn't it?
04:13Just look.
04:14Greek mythology has been around for over 3,000 years.
04:18These stories were an essential part of the ancient Greeks religion and are still reflected in the culture today.
04:27Now we need to learn a bit of...
04:30Let's feed our brains.
04:31...something, don't we?
04:32Inspired by the Greek gods, the palace was originally built in 1890 by Empress Sisi of Austria.
04:40How are you?
04:41Hello.
04:42I'm Alan.
04:43Maybe I'm Amanda.
04:44My name is Napsika.
04:45Napsika.
04:46So shall we?
04:47Yes, yes.
04:54Wow, look at these statues.
04:56Isn't it impressive?
04:57Yeah.
04:59Sisi tragically lost her son and built the palace of her dreams as her refuge as well as a tribute to Greek mythology.
05:06OK, so as we go to the famous statue of Achilles...
05:10It's very homoerotic.
05:12So you see...
05:13Lovely bottom.
05:14It's too perfect.
05:15OK, so you know the story about how he became immortal?
05:19Almost.
05:20Did his mother hold him by the ankle and dip him into sticks?
05:23Is it the river?
05:24The river, yes.
05:25And because she was holding Achilles' heel, the whole body became immortal except of the heel.
05:30That is why that was his weak point.
05:32And when Paris, the kidnapper of Helen knew about the secret, the weak point of Achilles,
05:37so he aimed at his heel and with a poisoned arrow he killed her.
05:41Oh!
05:46So you know who this lady is?
05:48Is it Venus?
05:49Yes.
05:50Yes, it's Venus.
05:51She looks like Venus, but she's very famous.
05:53Phryni was her name.
05:54Phryni is such a pretty name.
05:55Yay!
05:56Phryni, she was an escort.
05:59Ooh.
06:00No way.
06:01The escorts, they were known as eteres in ancient Greek.
06:05They were well-educated.
06:07They had the ability to talk about politics, philosophy, economy, arts.
06:12So they accompanied the very famous and politicians.
06:16OK, men.
06:17Mm-hm.
06:18Phryni, she was so beautiful and so clever.
06:21She charged huge amounts to men that she didn't like.
06:24Good girl.
06:25Or she would go for free with men that she liked.
06:27That's fair.
06:29Why do you think they made up these stories?
06:32It's much more interesting, if you think about it, to add some spiciness in your life.
06:36Yes.
06:37You know, all these stories.
06:38And in the past, people didn't travel at all.
06:39No, no, no.
06:40So they stayed forever in one place.
06:41Yeah.
06:42So they needed some, like, imagination and, you know, people that they shared stories.
06:47Yeah, they need to be entertained.
06:48Yeah.
06:49That's true.
06:51I loved every second of that.
06:53I just want all those stories to go into my head so I can remember them, so I can tell my kids.
06:57Listen, just go into my reading room.
06:59All the information's going to be there.
07:01I'm going to have little nods to this place in there.
07:03There's going to be a statue, a bus, there's going to be books about me.
07:06Is there going to be a statue?
07:07I might stick one of these in the bum bag and walk out.
07:11Oh, look at this.
07:12The ancient Greeks believed that they had to pray to the gods for help and protection.
07:17Because if the gods were unhappy with someone, then they would punish them.
07:21The ancient city was built between the two high hills and was known as Korifo.
07:26And later became Porfu, which means the city of the hills.
07:30Ah, interesting.
07:32Let's hope the gods are smiling down on some of your design choices.
07:38Who's the god of bathrooms?
07:41Domestos.
07:46Oh, has that got a toilet?
07:47Oh!
07:48That's good.
07:49That's so good.
07:50Well, Domestos has worked her magic.
07:54As despite the doubters, Stamatis has come up trumps.
07:57He's got one of his best builders, Adonis, to make my AI circular bar a reality.
08:07And today, it's arriving on site.
08:12This is a work of art.
08:14You've made a dream come true for this woman.
08:17Because everybody said, it's AI.
08:20Did I say that?
08:21It's not real.
08:22It's not real.
08:23This is real.
08:26Adonis has lived up to his name.
08:28OK, so...
08:29We just have to...
08:30Can we pass through the door?
08:31...wheel this into there.
08:34That's it.
08:35You make that look easy.
08:38I mean, look at this.
08:40Is it going to overtake the entire bathroom now?
08:42Now I'm going to see how big this is.
08:45Very big.
08:46Oh, yes.
08:47Look at this.
08:48Oh, my God.
08:49I'm going to get in the bath with a massive glass of wine.
08:53And look at next door's bougainvillea.
08:56And they can see you as well.
08:58Hello!
08:59Give the people what they want.
09:00Yeah.
09:04Luckily, my second showstopper for the bathroom has arrived today, too.
09:09I have got one piece of my chandelier.
09:14Now we need to make everything match with that thing, eh?
09:17Everything that sort of blue.
09:19Like, climb in.
09:20How big is that thing?
09:2155 centimetres.
09:22I need it to be so that you don't bash your head on it,
09:26but it needs to be quite low.
09:28Yeah, like that.
09:29Maybe a bit higher for the window.
09:30Yeah.
09:31Yes.
09:32Yeah.
09:34Okay.
09:35Interesting.
09:36While Amanda lives in a world of artificial intelligence,
09:47I'm embracing tradition.
09:49I've come to Corfu town to hunt out some authentic Greek crafts
09:53to display in my reading room.
09:55There's everything in here.
09:56There's pots, there's handbags.
09:58And I've heard local artist Olga is the woman in the know.
10:04This is speaking my language.
10:06I've got a reading room, doing up a reading room.
10:09I just want objet d'art.
10:11I want interesting things, curiosities to put on the shelves
10:14that people will go, oh, I love that.
10:16Well, then here is your place.
10:18Yes.
10:19We have beautiful jewellery and pottery that I personally enjoy.
10:22That's my best thing in the whole world.
10:24I love pottery.
10:25This is perfect.
10:26Corfu actually has a very long tradition for pottery.
10:30Wow.
10:31So here we have all Corfu's tradition in one art object.
10:37So it's ceramic.
10:38Oh, I love it.
10:39It's the jewellery because Corfu has a great tradition
10:42in jewellery making.
10:43Hello, look at this.
10:44It's the traditional costume and the Easter costume.
10:47As part of an ancient Greek tradition,
10:50at Easter these large clay pots, called batides,
10:53are filled with water, decorated with ribbons
10:56and thrown from balconies.
10:58So would you like to try and draw something like that with me?
11:01Give it a try.
11:02I'd love it.
11:03It would be an honour.
11:04Olga, it would be an honour.
11:05Let's give it a try.
11:06OK.
11:07Olga's great.
11:08I love her energy.
11:09I love her spirit.
11:10She's everything I want sort of the reading room to be.
11:13I want it to be fun, knowledgeable.
11:16Ooh.
11:17Just create a spark in you, you know?
11:19Inspire you.
11:20And then just go...
11:22Yes.
11:23Yes.
11:24Very good.
11:25Great.
11:26When I don't do the noise, it's rubbish, is it?
11:29Just try it.
11:31Back at the build, my tiles have arrived,
11:35which I'm hoping match my electric blue chandelier.
11:40There's a lot of purple in there.
11:44I don't think this is the right colour.
11:48I don't like it.
11:49Mm-mm.
11:50Nobody wants, like, an iridescent, pearly, purplish bathroom.
11:56Hmm.
11:59It's a disaster, darling.
12:01It's so shiny and nasty.
12:04It's like a mermaid's tail.
12:15Here, do you know any gays?
12:17Listen.
12:18I do.
12:19Can I be honest with you?
12:20I do.
12:21I'm single and I'm trying to find love in Corfu.
12:26Well, I have someone who's great at giving massages.
12:30Are you interesting?
12:32We can set up a blind date.
12:33No.
12:34This has gone from nought to sixty in five seconds.
12:36One minute you were thinking.
12:37You're thinking I'm going on a date with a masseuse.
12:39How long are you staying here for?
12:41If it's for love, I'm that desperate, I'll change my visa.
12:43Listen, for my first attempt, that's OK.
12:44Oh, not to be fair.
12:45Art is never perfect.
12:46Yeah.
12:47I'm going to go.
12:48You get on the phone and keep me posted, please.
12:49We'll be in touch.
12:50Yes, OK.
12:51Please get in touch, yes.
12:53Bye-bye, Alan.
12:54Bye-bye.
12:55Bye-bye.
12:56Bye-bye.
12:57Bye-bye.
12:58I popped him for a pot and I come out with a Greek lover.
13:00Boom.
13:01Wonderful.
13:02With my bathroom ambitions in the balance, Alan is taking me for a soak in the sea.
13:18Right, Alan.
13:19Don't come near me in two minutes if I'm going to have a wee.
13:20That's disgusting.
13:21Oh!
13:22Oh, my God.
13:23Have you finished your wee?
13:24I've finished my wee.
13:25At least it's warm in that bunch of bed.
13:26Everyone looks good in this kind of light, don't they?
13:27Yeah.
13:28Yeah.
13:29What are you saying?
13:30You've got a crushed ear and a thin air.
13:31Oh, my God.
13:32Oh, my God.
13:33Oh, my God.
13:34Oh, my God.
13:35Oh, my God.
13:36Oh, my God.
13:37Oh, my God.
13:38Oh, my God.
13:39Oh, my God.
13:40Oh, my God.
13:41Oh, my God.
13:42Oh, my God.
13:43Oh, my God.
13:44Oh, my God.
13:45Oh, my God.
13:46You've got crushed ear and a thin top lip and stained top glasses.
13:51I can't.
13:52Honestly.
13:53You don't even look like you.
13:54I don't look like me.
13:55You doesn't look like you.
14:13It's a new day.
14:14i'm gonna hone my woodworking skills as i create my bespoke bookshelves
14:21this room is going to be like walking into stephen fry's brain
14:25culture poetry thinking no telly books philosophy you know like when you go to the british museum
14:33or vna or something like that you know you go in there you go you sort of like mouth falls open
14:39because you see all these amazing books and obje dar and antiques and artifacts and you feel like
14:45wow my brain is getting nourished here that's what i want so to bring my vision to life first
14:51we need to work out the dimensions do you know what because that's high up that can be the adult
14:56section erotica top shelf top shelf and cut mdf boards to size we're also making an outer frame
15:05to screw the boards into place hold hold it i'm holding it hold i'm holding it
15:19let it go
15:33beautiful happy is that looking all right so far i'm loving it it's good great
15:44whilst alan's keen to display his greek obje dar i'm on the hunt in corfu town for some
15:49authentic greek items of my own the greeks have used sea sponges for personal hygiene for
15:56centuries so i've come to the land of corfu shop that specializes in sustainably sourced ones for
16:02my family bathroom oh my god oh that's a bit scary excuse me hi hello hello hello this is a this is an
16:14amazing shop thank you very much i had no idea so many massive sponges existed we collect from very deep
16:23depths about uh 80 meters wow this uh needs some very very good divers are experts yes what an amazing job
16:34what do you do i dive for sponges so so tell me what's the most expensive sponge in this shop
16:43the most expensive shop is like that is 400 euro because this size is very difficult to grow
16:52do people actually buy them and then like use them this one is for collectors yeah it's something very
16:58very special and elegant alan may have his reading room but my secret weapon is a sponge that looks like a
17:07lovely cauliflower sponcia adriatica and uh kapadiko from east mediterranean perfect it might be nice if
17:16i can find some coral maybe a couple of shells i think we'll get these this is amazing this amazing
17:23color yeah perfect my bathroom's gonna look epic
17:32i've been using my time on the island to dip my toe back into the dating world
17:37i've not had much luck so far but tonight my friend olga has organized a blind date with her friend andrew
17:44my dating history on corfu has been a little bit mixed the first date was a bit of a disaster
17:57amanda's put me on the app and no one's really bitten so i'm here to try again
18:03are you andrew hello hello i'm alan nice to see you do you like a gin tonic yes please make it a
18:15double the day i've had you're having gin as well yep yeah double gin yeah yeah lovely
18:22yeah what's up tequila's there oh you like shots that's dangerous very because to me when i have
18:28tequila my clothes come off really so you know yeah let's do it come on you don't even know my name
18:38and you're getting fruity already you just got to put yourself out there haven't you you know what i
18:42mean if you want to catch a fish you've got to get your rod out whilst alan is wooing his potential new
18:49man i'm battling with my 300 piece electric blue chandelier i've been two hours putting this blinking
18:57thing together i have no idea really what the pattern is because someone threw the box away
19:04and i can't find a picture of it oh buzz off
19:13yes i actually think alan is going to eat his words he's going to think it's it's nice
19:19look at that you're very good that's good isn't it that's good
19:34cheese good good job we're not playing strip pool in it you'd be naked
19:39it's always a bit eggy uh when you're dating i'm just going to see how it goes but i just think time
19:50is of the essence i'm approaching 50. i've been a bit miserable but now i love greece and i want to
19:59find love you know so what do you look for in someone when you go dating being happy oh you go for
20:08happy people happy people i go for men who are really good at pool i like it
20:15it's been lovely having a nice date with you me too let's do another date let's have a dinner let's have a
20:29dinner promise promise oh you're so lovely now please i'm gonna go
20:40you're so lovely
20:49it's a busy morning at the build as we try and get both of our rooms finished
20:53adonis has come through again with an ingenious alternative to my tile dilemma
21:02a waterproof colored plaster finish fabulous okay this is the undercoat this is the under yeah this
21:09is not 100 because it's not the color but it's the primer correct the base coat that's going okay
21:18okay adonis he's the king of bathrooms the king of hot tubs he's just the king of hot
21:27stamatis has been giving all of his attention to the blue bath but i've got an even bigger challenge
21:33for him in my family reading room fitting the floating bed it's crucial for our design as it's
21:42not only a space to read okay but it's an over spill bed for large families it's quite high up
21:52there's a there's a ladder that swings about so the potential for it to go wrong it's quite high
21:59it's got a curve in the middle yeah because it's heavy and it's long so we need to do something to
22:05support so we need you need to think now an idea what we're going to put in the middle
22:09i don't think stamatis takes my design ideas as seriously as he does amanda's like he he made her
22:15bath work the point of a floating bed is it has to look like it's floating that's not floating if it's
22:23got a massive stick keeping it up it's meant to be magic people are meant to go how's that bed staying
22:29up there it's got a giant pole keeping it up where's the surprise i mean look how big it is
22:34oh god nearly three meters i said big bed okay i'm just wondering whether the bed shouldn't be
22:43floating maybe i should just stick a futon in there and be done with it
22:48you hold it like that and press you see so you push it in yeah
22:53as alan's struggling i'm thriving for us to have found this extraordinary solution that i didn't
23:05even know existed like blue cement i'm like glad that we had the problem because we found a way
23:11around it and it's better than the original idea that's amazing oh hello mr car hello
23:23what do you think of me big blue bath oh yeah it's yay blue yeah it's blue it's blue this is
23:32the undercoat so it's going as blue as my chandelier adonis what do you think is this good or is she
23:39crazy no no no you think it's gonna look good yeah gonna look very good thank you okay all right all
23:52after a full-on day of diy star mattis and his wife olympia have invited alan and my girls
23:57to the vacarola festival in celebration of saint spiridan it's bigger than i thought it was gonna be
24:03and her it's like the old the corfus come out in 1716 the ottomans tried to invade corfu but their
24:11attack failed it's believed that saint spiridan worsened the weather stopping the battle stomatis
24:23this is amazing yeah yeah how many celebrations a year are there to do with greek gods every second
24:28day they're doing something in the summer in the summer yeah are the fireworks quite loud because
24:34i've got a nervous disposition it's just a light yeah and a little bit bang bang bang no no no no
24:40i mean when you have bonfire night at home there's like a barrier and you have a couple of people in
24:45high-vis jackets the man's over there just standing next to a box of fireworks having a fag i just don't
24:52i don't know i can't really relax okay should we do a toast to how do you call this tradition
25:06every year on august the 11th saint spiridan is honored with a mock recreation of the battle
25:11and fireworks galore
25:34at the house we're on the home stretch to finish the rooms
25:37adonis has been color matching my bath to the chandelier so i can finally hang it in place
25:46ready yeah
25:52and style the space
25:55and with my bed finally floating i'm bringing my wall of shelves to life
26:00oh his willies fallen off
26:19so you've got to admit it turned out better than you expected it really really did
26:25and i'm gonna just say with this renovation i think i'm falling in love with the color blue more
26:35thank you hammer you look
26:39that to me does look a little bit cheap
26:44it wasn't expensive it wasn't cheap but this was ai now it's ah
26:54i see what you did there thank you
26:55yeah hats off to you because it's brilliant come and look at my intellectual space
27:14it is amazing i have to say yeah you've come in from the beach it's not tea time yet you're not
27:20getting ready i'm gonna climb all the way up there with me book and if i nod off i nod off who cares
27:26you've done an incredible job yeah and it's allowed us to have another guest yeah and if you
27:31wanted to you could have a little put you up there and have more people yeah so what do you think of me
27:37unit i love i mean i love a unit and i love how you've styled all the books color coordinated there's
27:43aphrodite aphrodite for me yeah and there's apollon for me apollon apollon is the greek way of saying
27:51apollo oh but sadly the willy's fallen off just did you really lose his willy yeah the willy snapped
27:58off oh my god poor man i know i know but he's still smiling right next time
28:05up we hit the dance floor that is a calorie burner that is and i finally have some luck amanda put me
28:14on a lonely hearts app you know me now here where you need the app as we take on that's good our
28:22final space i'm proud of you i'm proud of you too
28:25and see that big finale next amanda and alan going out with a bang here on bbc one
28:38back in business on bbc iplayer fiercer than ever new dragon's den with rival guest dragons
28:45watch now goals gossip and guardiola's future get weekend ready the wayne rooney show listen on sounds
28:55the wayne rooney show listen on sounds
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