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00:01How you doing?
00:05Hello again.
00:07Look at you. Hi. How you doing?
00:10Oh, the best of the city.
00:12You as well.
00:13Have I told you about my new business with my sister?
00:15Show me the inside of your handbag now.
00:18Unacceptable.
00:19How does M&S, children's range, sound?
00:22Is it confirmed?
00:23Yeah.
00:23Yes.
00:24Look at his long face.
00:27London's burning.
00:28What have you done?
00:30Oh!
00:31This is...
00:32There's your hallway.
00:33I'm having quite a good time.
00:34Dating at the moment.
00:36Have you packed anyone?
00:38I'm not.
00:40I can't believe it's the first time in five and a half months
00:44that we've gone for dinner.
00:46Ooh.
00:47It's a lot to kind of witness.
00:49Watching someone you obviously love so much
00:52like deteriorate so quickly.
00:56I'm dating someone.
00:58There's something I can't, like, figure out with her.
01:01She's quite cold.
01:02I don't know if I've got the gene or not,
01:03but you said I possibly could have the gene.
01:06I thought I'd bump into you more and pass the screen.
01:08I've just been busy just working.
01:10Very nice.
01:10Yeah.
01:11I find it quite strenuous to be mentally engaged by her.
01:14When there isn't an issue, I won't make an issue,
01:17whereas you will bang your head against the wall
01:18until you can create an issue.
01:33I'm tired.
01:35I'm tired.
01:36I'm tired.
01:37How would we describe my last year?
01:40Hectic.
01:41Chaotic.
01:42A lot has happened.
01:43We're living in a fucking dump.
01:45A lot hasn't happened as well.
01:46Got to get the stone installed.
01:48We don't need running water.
01:49They haven't done those plugs.
01:50We've been renovating and trying to create our dream home.
01:54We may as well have just knocked the entire building down
01:57and rebuilt it at this point.
01:59What about this?
01:59You're not even joking.
02:02He's got to learn one day, hasn't he?
02:04Motherhood is a rollercoaster.
02:06Highs and lows is the best way to describe it, I think.
02:09You can't just have bread like this, baby.
02:13But equally, he's so cute.
02:16I just love him so much.
02:18I'm plain.
02:18Plain.
02:22Come on, chicken pox man.
02:23Time to get changed.
02:25Are you itchy today?
02:27I've just turned 35.
02:28It is officially my birthday month.
02:30We've just been to Ibiza with a bunch of friends.
02:33Mommy's got to stop getting you changed in the morning
02:35because you're a big boy now.
02:36You're four.
02:37Max, in and out the country.
02:39Three kids.
02:41Obviously, Pedro.
02:42That's what I've done.
02:43I've moved house.
02:45Hello.
02:47Join the bundle.
02:49There's no dull moment in the Elsa Darden household.
02:52I love it like that.
02:56I can't believe its extensions just look so natural.
02:58Honestly, the best decision I've ever made in my life.
03:02This last year, I have done a lot of traveling.
03:07Going to lovely restaurants, eating good food, lots of martinis.
03:11I really genuinely enjoy what I do, the jewelry and bag.
03:15You know, I don't switch off when I leave the office at five.
03:18I'm always working the evenings and the weekends.
03:20But I definitely say I'm in my prime.
03:23I'm not high maintenance, but I like to dress well.
03:26And I think if you leave the house looking like shit,
03:29you're going to feel like shit all day.
03:31I'm best friends with my problems.
03:34Talk to my demons.
03:35Laugh when I'm at my low point.
03:37Get high when I'm in my feelings.
03:39Yeah.
03:40My sister and my dad are going to be here soon, James.
03:43We're falling.
03:44James?
03:46Come on in.
03:47No!
03:48No!
03:50Help!
03:52Because of the sheer amount of stress and everything that's been going on,
03:57it's been a hard chapter for Lucy and James.
04:00We've been bickering more.
04:02What are you saying?
04:03They won't approve?
04:04Well, I just kind of, like, it's already a shithole.
04:06I kind of want to set it up and make it look nice.
04:08Can you polish a turd, my friend?
04:09Exactly, I know.
04:11So why bother?
04:15Hello, Dad.
04:16Hi.
04:16Come on in.
04:17So look at this.
04:18Donnie.
04:19This is a work of art.
04:21One of the main reasons that we moved out of London,
04:23because that was a huge decision for us,
04:25was to be closer to family.
04:27Hey, look.
04:28Dad!
04:28How you doing?
04:29You are matching.
04:31I'm not sure.
04:31He's not sure, no.
04:32I think it's really important for Wilbs
04:34to have a close relationship with his grandparents
04:38and we just feel like it's a better family
04:41environment.
04:42When will you fry your first egg or...
04:44Oh, no, you don't need...
04:45Probably never.
04:45You don't need eggs, do you?
04:47When will you cook your first meal?
04:50Probably in three weeks.
04:53This actually has to be ready,
04:54because my vegan recipes book,
04:56we're shooting that here.
04:57Oh, OK.
04:58So the kitchen has to be ready for that.
04:59Has to be ready for that.
05:00I can't let the publishers down.
05:02I mean, take my hat off to you and James.
05:05I mean, living through all this...
05:06It's testing.
05:06It's testing.
05:07It is physically and mentally exhausting
05:10and sometimes you just want to be able to shut your mind off.
05:13You can't do that around your child
05:14because there's hazards here, there and everywhere.
05:17So we're both kind of gasping for breath
05:20and we're both just like,
05:21when can I have my time?
05:22And it's a constant argument at the moment.
05:26Hello.
05:27Hello.
05:28Come on in.
05:29Do you want me to come?
05:29Oh, who's coming?
05:30Hi, guys.
05:31Hi.
05:32Shall we put the dog foot stones?
05:33Hello.
05:34Hello.
05:35Hello.
05:36Hi Jude.
05:38Look at those gorgeous eyes.
05:39You literally forget how small they are.
05:41He didn't have his eyes open, did he, before?
05:43No.
05:43He was asleep the whole time.
05:45Do you think this is your, like, forever home?
05:46I hope so.
05:47We've just done, you know, we've done it all
05:49and it'll be worth it in the end, won't it?
05:52Yeah.
05:54It will be.
05:55Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
06:10Hello.
06:11Hi baby girl.
06:13Oooh.
06:14Oh, I'm gonna double kiss.
06:15Oh.
06:16That is so unfair.
06:18Oh, it's nice and clean in here.
06:20It's a bit smelly, isn't it?
06:22Ollie is one of the first best mates I've ever had.
06:25He can be a pain in the arse and drive me mad,
06:27but he is like a brother to me.
06:29Do you remember when you gave me my first,
06:31one of my first driving lessons around here?
06:33Yes, it was absolutely disastrous.
06:35Lennox Gardens, I remember it very well,
06:37and my Union Jaguar.
06:38I think it worked quite well, actually.
06:40I think it was absolutely disastrous.
06:42Absolutely terrifying.
06:44Great.
06:44If we can try and survive this journey, it would be lovely.
06:48Well, I have been enjoying chicken pox recently.
06:50Oh, no, don't.
06:51Wolfie came down with it just after his birthday.
06:54Then India came down with Wilder the same day,
06:57a week after Wolfie had got them.
06:58Apparently, the more children you have and it goes down,
07:01the worse it gets.
07:02So Wilder's been...
07:02I mean, his little face is covered.
07:05By the way, don't look at my eyebrows.
07:07Your hand is on some...
07:08Oh, my God!
07:09..requent.
07:12Half of them have gone.
07:13They haven't.
07:14Oh, they've gone.
07:15You've only got half an eyebrow.
07:16Oh, my God.
07:17Look in the mirror.
07:18No, what?
07:18You've only got half an eye.
07:19Look at the side here.
07:20It's completely gone.
07:22Well, I don't know what's going on.
07:23Johannes needs to come back from our silly retreat.
07:25You're looking pretty good.
07:27We went for a bit of a rogue stage.
07:28Yeah.
07:29Again, it was after Covid.
07:30I put on weight.
07:31And then, darling...
07:32Then lovely a Zen pic popped into your little fridge.
07:34Oh, my God!
07:35A Zen pic was made.
07:38Because I couldn't lose that on my own.
07:39I don't want to go to a fucking gym, do I?
07:42Boring Zen.
07:42I don't want to go.
07:45I don't want to go.
07:45I don't want to go.
08:01Go out and play with Willoughby.
08:03Bye.
08:04They say, like, moving house and divorce are, like, the most stressful things.
08:08Yeah, I think it's just put a massive strain on us.
08:10Like, I miss us.
08:11Yeah.
08:12What I've been suggesting is going and speaking to a therapist.
08:15Oh, really?
08:16Which I think he's, like, terrified by the day.
08:18It's got to that stage.
08:20So this will be your first fully vegan barbecue?
08:22I think so, yeah.
08:24Yeah, I'm really...
08:24Last?
08:25Really...
08:25No, you should never say that.
08:27Really looking forward to it.
08:29And how are you, you know, barbecuing aside, how's it been?
08:32Quite stressful would be an understatement.
08:34Obviously, when you've got a baby to look after.
08:37Yep.
08:37Lucy's obviously still very busy.
08:39So not much quality time?
08:40No, not really.
08:42We've definitely realised that we go from zero to 100 quite quickly.
08:46I don't like the way that we speak to each other when we're angry.
08:49We've got a child around.
08:50Like, I don't want him picking up that energy.
08:52Lucy's been banging on about that we need to go to therapy.
08:56Right.
08:57I've said many times that I wouldn't go.
08:59Right.
09:00Because there is no problem.
09:01There's no problem in our marriage.
09:02But if she feels the necessity to go and you are slightly reluctant, then that could
09:09place its own problem, I guess.
09:11I see it as you can pick anybody in the world and you're going to be stressed under this
09:15scenario.
09:16Yeah, of course.
09:17I don't know if James is going to come.
09:19Every time I brought it up with him, he's like, I'm not coming.
09:22Really?
09:24Because I'm a product of divorced parents, I have seen where arguments and bickering
09:31can lead.
09:32His parents have been together for 30 plus years and he doesn't have the experience of
09:37a broken family that I have.
09:39So he doesn't necessarily relate to me on that level.
09:45What a feast.
09:46What's the review on the vegan burger?
09:48Not bad.
09:49Is that nice, Wilbs?
09:52It's a big burger for a little baby.
09:54Gosh, isn't it?
09:55James, Lucy was telling me about the therapy.
09:58Do you think you're going to go?
09:59Why don't we just wait until the builders have gone and then we'll see?
10:03Because they're not going to be gone for another six months.
10:05I think if the builders are going to be here for another six months, then probably no harm.
10:09Sorry, James.
10:11I thought we bonded over that vegan barbecue.
10:14Well, we did bond.
10:15You've done me dirty.
10:16To the extent I now feel comfortable about giving you some father-in-law advice.
10:20Dad never went to therapy, did you?
10:22Well, let's not go.
10:24This isn't about me.
10:25You seem to have crawled back into your shell.
10:28I think I would love you to come, but I don't want you to come kicking and screaming.
10:46Hello.
10:47Hello.
10:49Oh, you look fab.
10:50I absolutely adore Binky.
10:52She's so much fun.
10:54She's so kind.
10:55She doesn't make being a mother her whole personality.
10:59And for me, that is so special.
11:02To spend time with people that are in different eras of their life,
11:07without it being the only thing that they can talk about.
11:12What have you been up to?
11:13Uh, I have my birthday.
11:15Yeah, I know. I can't wait to celebrate you.
11:16And we're having our lunch eat.
11:18Max isn't going to be there.
11:19He left for New York this morning at 5am.
11:21Oh, God.
11:22He's hovering over me to try and give me a kiss at 5am.
11:24I was like, ugh, freaked out.
11:25This was the face of my face.
11:27But I think Lucy's coming.
11:29Lovely.
11:29You're coming.
11:30You're coming.
11:32I actually can't remember the last time I saw Lucy.
11:34It was ages ago.
11:35But, you know, the phone works both ways.
11:39How's your mummy?
11:41Mummy's good.
11:42Good.
11:43And the kids are all happy.
11:44I miss them.
11:45Well, we should get you over.
11:46Yes, I must.
11:47Aunty Roro.
11:48And aren't you getting any saying to action at the moment?
11:52Um, I'm dating someone.
11:55Okay.
11:56I met him really randomly.
11:58Okay.
11:58I was in St Pancras getting the Eurostar to Paris
12:01to visit a couple of friends.
12:02I was queuing for my matcher in Pret.
12:04I was wearing a grey outfit.
12:06This girl came up to me.
12:07She had a baby in a carrier.
12:09She had a Birkin 35 on her arm with loads of charms.
12:12And she said to me, I need to know where your outfit's from.
12:16We got chatting.
12:17We have loads of mutual friends on Instagram.
12:19She's French but lives in London.
12:21And she said, I can't believe you're single.
12:23I have someone to set you up with.
12:25Come to my Shabbat dinner in two weeks' time.
12:26Stop it.
12:27And I went.
12:28And I met him there.
12:30He didn't actually realise that it was a set-up.
12:32So I'd seen the picture, so I recognised him in the room.
12:35And we just chatted all night.
12:37The next day, he had messaged the girl that hosted the dinner
12:41and said, who was that girl?
12:42She was amazing.
12:42I definitely let my walls down.
12:45And he deserved to see me with my walls down.
12:49It just felt like, you know, there were no barriers.
12:54How long has this been going for?
12:55I don't know, a couple of months.
12:56Oh, my God.
12:58So you've obviously seen everything and done everything
13:00and it's all going well, tickety-boo.
13:02It's all great.
13:02Everything works?
13:03Yeah, everything's working.
13:05Oh, great!
13:05You always try before you buy.
13:07Don't go straight, do you?
13:08You don't shag anymore anyway, so it's fine.
13:11No, I don't really.
13:12Poor Gareth.
13:13Do you send nudes?
13:14I've got my own willy on my phone.
13:15Who do you send it to?
13:16I've never sent it to anyone.
13:17You just take it for what?
13:18The memories?
13:19It's to remember what it used to be like.
13:21What it looks like.
13:22They don't shrink, though, do they?
13:23True.
13:23I'm 40 in a year.
13:25Do you look very good, though?
13:25I think boys get better at their age, don't they?
13:27I've got endo lift on Friday.
13:29I've had that.
13:30Is it good?
13:30I won't tell you what's involved,
13:32because you probably won't turn up.
13:33Fuck growing old gracefully, though.
13:34I know.
13:35God.
13:36Forget it.
13:36Fuck that.
14:02There you go, Mama.
14:04Oh, well done.
14:05What can I get you?
14:05Anything from this selection?
14:07What?
14:08Is that cheese in the thing?
14:09It is cheese.
14:10And what type of cheese?
14:11Uh, really nice cheese.
14:14Oh, right.
14:15That's near enough.
14:18How about the chickens?
14:22I'm sorry.
14:23I'm sorry about the chickens.
14:24I mean, of course you got her chickens.
14:28Yes, because she asked me for them.
14:30So for India's birthday, two presents from Gaga rocked up.
14:35One of them was 12 eggs.
14:37And we thought, oh, that's amazing.
14:39Mummy's bought her a cake baking kit,
14:41opened the second present,
14:43and it was a bloody incubator.
14:48Max was far from impressed.
14:51Nope.
14:53There he is.
14:54Pretty good to see him.
14:55I haven't seen him for ages.
14:57No, thank you.
15:00Hello, plum.
15:01Hello.
15:03I'll take those ghastly shoes off your feet immediately.
15:05Where are they from?
15:06Are they from Gucci, by any chance?
15:08Yes, they're Gucci.
15:10Hello, handsome boy.
15:11Take them off, then.
15:12I don't know where you've been on those bloody pavements in London.
15:16What?
15:16Quite.
15:17What?
15:18Oh, no.
15:19Hello, mother.
15:20You having champagne?
15:21No.
15:22I'll get you a glass.
15:22It's sparkling wine.
15:26I'm a little bit baffled about what's going on in your ear right now.
15:29I'm not sure I'm liking it particularly.
15:30Yeah, that is something.
15:31Now, I had rather a boozy lunch yesterday.
15:34Curl surprise.
15:37And accidentally ended up going to get an ear piercing.
15:41Two.
15:41Well, no, because I wanted it lower, and then I had to have another one.
15:44Why is it infected already?
15:46It's not infected.
15:46What are you talking about?
15:47It's very, very crusty at the moment.
15:48I just had it done yesterday.
15:49Very red as well.
15:50When I walked in, I thought immediately how good they look.
15:52I'll take them out when I realise that I'm not 25 anymore.
15:59Mummy and Ollie, they've got a lovely bond.
16:01They've known each other for over 15 years.
16:03So, when we are all together, it does feel like he's family.
16:07Well, I'm very much looking forward to my birthday lunch.
16:10I just can't believe you're this age already, darling.
16:13Another five years and I'm 40.
16:15Lucy.
16:15Oh, my God.
16:16Don't tell anyone, will you?
16:18Obviously, this one's coming.
16:19You're coming.
16:20Lucy and Rosie.
16:22Do they get along?
16:23I think so.
16:24Yeah.
16:25I don't see them getting along.
16:26I don't see the two of them as being a match.
16:28They're so different.
16:29But possibly.
16:29I think they're quite similar.
16:31In some ways.
16:32Well, either way, they're going to be gorgeous.
16:34Yeah.
16:34If they're a few punch-ups, they're so much better.
16:36There'll be no punch-ups.
16:37I know.
16:38Wouldn't it be wonderful?
16:40So much fun.
16:42I'll be holding on to my face.
16:49Freedom is calling.
16:51So show me the light.
16:54Are you excited?
16:56So excited.
16:58You're the reason we're here.
17:00I know.
17:00I know.
17:00I'm sorry.
17:01I couldn't believe that James agreed to go to couples therapy.
17:04It was...
17:05I honestly thought it was a battle that I was never going to win.
17:10Hi.
17:12Would you like to come through?
17:13Yes, sure.
17:13Let's do it.
17:13Follow me, please.
17:15I felt like until we actually sat down with someone, it was just going to...
17:19He was going to keep avoiding the subject.
17:21So I really need a professional opinion.
17:25The session is going to be an hour long.
17:27It's a lot of therapizing.
17:29Therapy.
17:31It's a lot.
17:32The question is, what brings you to therapy?
17:35Okay.
17:36James and I have definitely bickered and argued more over the last probably 12 months than ever before.
17:42My perspective is the last year has been quite mental for us, as in we've moved into a building site.
17:51Okay.
17:51It's just short-term shit, which we'll soon be out of and all will be rosy.
17:57The way that we speak to each other is not conducive for a happy and healthy relationship long term.
18:02You'd like things to be better.
18:04Yeah, I would.
18:04When there isn't an issue, I won't make an issue.
18:07Whereas you will bang your head against the wall until you can create an issue.
18:11James would never choose to address an issue.
18:14I think he just thinks in time said issue will just go away.
18:18And I am very confrontational.
18:20I like to address things head on.
18:23And I think sometimes that can be a bit exhausting for him.
18:26Maybe he thinks I'm making things into a bigger deal than they are.
18:29What have you heard him express?
18:32It's more work-related stuff.
18:34Like, why do you need to have this meeting today?
18:37Why do you need to have that Zoom call?
18:38I don't question that.
18:39Okay.
18:40Okay, so...
18:40You have said to me...
18:42So, Lucy...
18:42...with meetings and stuff that I take the piss.
18:44Sometimes you do.
18:45But when it's work...
18:47I don't say it when it's work.
18:48Lucy.
18:49You do, James.
18:51I know I'm awake.
18:54But nothing's the same.
18:57Won't let anybody stop this feeling.
19:00Wolfreck.
19:03Stop eating all the crisps, you cheeky boy.
19:07You cheeky...
19:08Now I'm 35.
19:11That's made me aware that we are getting older.
19:15And I'm a mother.
19:15I have responsibility to make sure I'm keeping an eye on my health
19:20and making sure I'm there for as long as possible for them.
19:22You gonna give me a kiss?
19:24My prince.
19:25My prince.
19:26I love you so much.
19:28As soon as you push out that first baby, you are no longer your priority.
19:32You are, like, back of the queue.
19:34So what I have organised is for me to go and speak to someone about MS.
19:39I don't know if I've got the gene or not, but you said I possibly could have the gene.
19:43Well, only that I have and my aunt had.
19:45Yeah.
19:46So we both...
19:46And I don't know if it is a gene, darling.
19:48This is where I'm going, because I have no idea about anything.
19:50I'm thrilled you're doing it.
19:51I'd like to talk to someone about it.
19:53Yeah, agreed.
19:54Would you like me to come with you?
19:56If you'd like to.
19:56My mum's always been very keen for me to keep an eye on my health, the order I'm getting.
20:04She would watch me from a young age falling over or complain about my knees.
20:11She'd see things that I did which would remind her what she used to do.
20:15So I've always been very attuned with getting my health checked.
20:19And it just makes you sleep better at night.
20:23Oh!
20:24Hello.
20:25You just snuck in.
20:26How's it going?
20:27You all right?
20:27Oh, that looks like a big tool.
20:29It is a big tool, yeah.
20:31My missus, Henry.
20:32Hello.
20:32Nice to meet you.
20:33Hi, Henry.
20:34I'm a very firm gardener.
20:37Lovely to meet you, darling.
20:37Yes.
20:37Lovely to see you, Henry.
20:39It was gorgeous.
20:40Actually, so is he gorgeous, wasn't he?
20:43I mean, what the fuck was that?
20:44I know.
20:46Right up my strata.
20:47It's even better in the heat.
20:49I can imagine.
20:50Better in the heat.
20:51My married man.
20:51My married man.
20:52It's gorgeous.
20:53This garden has got some amazing trees and plants in.
20:56Mature garden.
20:57It's a very...
20:58That's where you're so fortunate.
20:59Have you got a mature garden?
21:03Um...
21:03Oh, Ollie.
21:05I knew I couldn't talk to you.
21:07I know when you look at me like that, I know it's always dangerous.
21:11No.
21:12Absolutely not.
21:12You haven't at all grown up, have you, really?
21:15No, sorry.
21:15No.
21:16Yes, I have a very mature garden.
21:18Oh, I don't want to hear about it.
21:19I've seen it so many times.
21:21No.
21:22No.
21:22They've gone now.
21:23There's only...
21:24There's only nine left.
21:26Mummy!
21:29I love life sometimes.
21:33I don't want to think too hard.
21:36Just ride the wave above the water.
21:39You guys are coming from opposite ends of the spectrum.
21:42Okay.
21:42This is about kind of attachment theory.
21:44There's usually one person that's a bit avoidantly attached, and they're called avoidant-dismissive.
21:49And then the other person is anxiously attached.
21:52Um...
21:52So this is very, very standard.
21:54They tend to pair up.
21:55Are they compatible?
21:55I've lured in an anxious clinger and I can't get rid of it.
21:58I've lured in a dismissive douche.
22:00Got a big old anxious clinger in the net.
22:02Okay, well...
22:04You know, one person is more relaxed, feels quite safe and secure in the whole thing,
22:09but the other person is to feel nervous about even slight things.
22:13If you can have empathy for that, and if you can react with...
22:18...with kind of maybe gentleness and reassurance and holding, I think that...
22:24I...
22:24Exactly!
22:25Exactly!
22:26My little anxious clinger, come with me.
22:28Exactly!
22:29That kind of thing would go a long way.
22:32Okay.
22:32Do you know what I mean?
22:33Yeah.
22:34I think I'm quite an affectionate person.
22:36I know it sounds not like me, but when I'm with someone I'm very affectionate and I'm very caring.
22:41So if I've gone to bed and we haven't even hugged that day, I'm like,
22:45Oh, I think I need that intimacy.
22:47Yeah.
22:48I think it's more important to me than it is to him.
22:50If you go and, you know, give a kiss, give a cuddle from behind, and that's your act of smoothing
22:57things over.
22:58She likes the sound of that.
23:00Clearing the air.
23:01Because that would feel good, right?
23:03Yeah.
23:03If something happened.
23:04Sometimes I just...
23:05That would go a long way, right?
23:06He's not awful to me by any means, but if he says harsh, snappy things, he doesn't seem to feel
23:11bad about it at all.
23:12Yeah.
23:13Okay.
23:13I get that.
23:13I don't even feel like I even mean it.
23:16So it's not...
23:16It's kind of just like a...
23:17Nothing.
23:18But James, those little feelings are the reason why you guys have been brought here today.
23:23Yeah.
23:23I get that.
23:23The build up of those little, little feelings.
23:26Okay.
23:26I'll come and give you a little cuddle.
23:30It wouldn't hurt.
23:32It sounds like you guys are just squeezed in all directions.
23:36Your lives have changed.
23:39Navigating that change is kind of where we're at.
23:42Yeah.
23:57The thought of having MS obviously is worrying.
24:00It's a horrific disease and my mum is having a terrible time with it.
24:04And I'm hoping by going to this meeting, I gain more insight and just learn more about the disease.
24:13I'm Bal Athwal.
24:14I'm a neurologist.
24:16And hopefully I'll be able to speak to you about the condition and what to look for.
24:21Okay, great.
24:22So multiple sclerosis we think of as an inflammatory disease primarily of the central nervous system.
24:29We're learning more and more about it as the years go by.
24:32But unfortunately we still don't fully understand what causes the condition.
24:36But then I guess what signs?
24:38I trip up occasionally and I don't really know what I guess signs to look out for.
24:44Let's say that you developed a sensory change in your legs.
24:49Okay.
24:50And that sensory change evolved and got worse over hours, perhaps a couple of days.
24:55And then it kind of seems to stabilise and then it gradually goes away.
24:59We will quite frequently as neurologists be asked to see patients, particularly young women,
25:04who have sensory symptoms or might be feeling clumsy.
25:09And there's often this concern, could this person have MS?
25:12Most of the time that doesn't come to anything.
25:15Okay.
25:15Most of the time we can reassure.
25:18Having seen it first hand with my mother, I'd hate for my children to have to see me go through
25:23the same thing as I've had to see my mum go through.
25:26There is a genetic link, but it's a very weak genetic link so far as we know.
25:30Okay.
25:31So if you've got a first degree family relative, meaning sister, brother, mother, that kind of thing, then your chances
25:37are higher, but they're still quite low.
25:39Okay.
25:39All right.
25:40Well, that's all sounding pretty good to me.
25:43I'm thrilled a bit.
25:44Yeah.
25:44I'm very grateful that we've seen you, please that we've seen you.
25:47To be told that the chances of us having MS were quite low, I was obviously very relieved.
25:54I do feel like a weight has been lifted.
26:18Oh, such a little adventure out of London.
26:20It really makes a difference, doesn't it?
26:22It really does, especially in this weather.
26:23Heaven.
26:24Help me to finish this look.
26:25Oh, I can't wait.
26:27Love coming here.
26:34What's left to do?
26:35So we've just got the bead in around the top to run around.
26:37Handles.
26:38Okay.
26:38And painting.
26:39I'm shooting the cover of my book in here on the 14th.
26:43Do you think it would be ready for them?
26:44I would have thought so, yeah.
26:45That's all I care about.
26:46Literally, that it's ready for them.
26:55Right.
26:56Time to oil up.
26:58Ooh!
27:00Are you tight anywhere?
27:03Everywhere.
27:09So silly.
27:11I do feel like Rosie does bring out that kind of naughtier, filthier side of me.
27:17Mummy friends might be a little bit too serious and talking about grades at school or someone's
27:23football team and actually just want to talk about blowjobs.
27:30Well, that, my bear cub.
27:33Wasn't that heaven?
27:34Oh, the dream.
27:35She got right in there.
27:36Oh, did she?
27:37Right in there.
27:38Did you get the happy ending that I paid extra for?
27:40Is that why I got it?
27:42Oh, my God.
27:43Thanks, babe.
27:44That's a little birthday treat-y.
27:47I think if you don't know Rosie very well, Rosie's honesty can be a bit much, but it is
27:53one of the reasons why I love her.
27:54I've actually just started getting something called PRP on my hair.
27:57I'm just on this hair journey and I want the thickest hair possible.
28:01Babes, I mean, I'll lend you some of mine.
28:02I've got it all over.
28:03I know, you're so lucky.
28:04I've got it all over the shop.
28:05Oh, you have got it all over the shop, babe.
28:06No!
28:07I've seen it.
28:08So what is it?
28:09Sorry.
28:09So it's...
28:10They take the plasma out, they take your blood, they separate the plasma from your blood
28:14and then they...
28:15I don't know whether I'm getting this wrong.
28:17And they inject back into your scalp and it's meant to be really good for hair growth.
28:21I think I look pretty good for 35 and I want to live a long life.
28:26I want to be healthy and, you know, look decent.
28:30What's the point in living until 90 if you look like shit?
28:33How's things with you, babe?
28:35Everything going well with the man.
28:39So...
28:40We've slightly put it on pause.
28:46Oh, babe, I'm sorry.
28:47You know what?
28:48It's really difficult.
28:49He is so special and the most amazing person I've ever met.
28:57He is a solo father.
29:00Yeah.
29:00So it's kind of a new avenue for me as well and I think he wasn't expecting to meet me
29:07and I think for now we're just going to take a bit of time and see.
29:14Put it on the back burner for a bit.
29:20I don't have the strength to actually speak to anyone else but I don't want to close the doors to
29:25him. Let's just see what happens.
29:27Okay.
29:27From what you've told me already, he sounds like a decent man.
29:30He's not going to mess you around.
29:33It sounds like he's doing a decent thing by being honest now.
29:35Yeah, yeah.
29:36It gets too serious.
29:37Yeah, absolutely.
29:37I just...
29:39Yeah.
29:40He's...
29:41He is different to anyone I've met before and I really just admire everything about him and he's a fucking
29:50amazing father and he makes me feel seen like I've never been seen before.
29:56It's like we really get each other, so...
29:58Amazing.
29:59Let's see.
30:00To see someone be such an incredible father made me think, you know, if that was something for us in
30:07our future, he would be an incredible father to my children.
30:10And it was kind of the respect that we had for each other that we realised that, like, now, unfortunately,
30:14it's not our time.
30:18Yeah.
30:19Things will happen if it's meant to happen. I've always believed in that.
30:22Yeah, definitely.
30:23And you've just got to remember that as well.
30:24Yeah.
30:39I know you've moved the country, but you don't have to be, like, three hours late.
30:43Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
30:45I'm joking.
30:45I'm so sorry.
30:46I'm joking.
30:50Yeah.
30:54Gorgeous.
30:54Nice.
30:55Drawing it back up using that four count.
30:57Gonna hold it down now.
30:58Good.
30:59Hold it.
30:59Shoulders down away from those ears.
31:01Ribs in.
31:01You're chilling.
31:02You're in your happy place.
31:03You're anywhere but here, probably.
31:04You're on holiday.
31:05Good.
31:05You're breathing.
31:09What do you normally go for in here?
31:11I love the steel-cut oat porridge.
31:15Which is so boring.
31:16Porridge.
31:17And the avocado toast sticks got crispy chickpeas.
31:20It's delightful.
31:21Mmm.
31:21What do you want?
31:22I'm going to go for something like the baked eggs.
31:25Right.
31:26With a little bit of lamb on the side.
31:28Oh, my God.
31:29Ew.
31:30You're such an antagonist, aren't you?
31:32You just love winding me up in life.
31:34Binky does get away with murder with me
31:36because there are certain things that she does
31:38or she tries to wind me up and I'm like,
31:40if this was anyone else...
31:43I wonder how you're going to find living in the country.
31:46Everyone says, good morning.
31:47How are you?
31:48Are you the kind of person that says,
31:49good morning to everyone on a dog walk?
31:51That's James.
31:52Good morning.
31:52Yes, I do actually.
31:53Because they're very smiley.
31:55I won't ask them how they are.
31:57I don't really care.
31:58But I'd say, good morning at least.
32:00Mmm.
32:00I can see that in you.
32:01Or I'd say, sorry, excuse me.
32:02Your dog's in a poo.
32:04Are you that person?
32:06Nothing.
32:06Are you that person?
32:07Are you joking?
32:07Are you what?
32:08Are you that person?
32:08That's the dog poo where my kids play
32:11and not tell them to pick it up.
32:12No, obviously I pick it up,
32:13but what I hate is when the poo is still coming out.
32:16No, no, no, I won't do that.
32:16And someone goes,
32:18let me get the bag out of my fucking pocket, please.
32:21I've got the bag.
32:22I ate poo when I was a child.
32:23Did you?
32:24Yeah.
32:24My mum caught me eating dog shit.
32:27Okay.
32:28Well, that's interesting.
32:30I mean, she said to my mum,
32:31I was like, sorry?
32:32How did you let that happen?
32:35Thank you so much.
32:36It's very hot to be good.
32:36Thank you so much.
32:37That looks delicious.
32:38Anyway, I just want to hear about you
32:39because you've got a lot going on.
32:41So, James and I went to therapy.
32:44It's great.
32:45The good thing is that James and I spoke
32:46about our issues more than we ever have
32:50in a space that was quiet.
32:51In a controlled environment.
32:53What's the reason you guys went in the first place?
32:56We were just arguing so much, like, about the same things.
32:58And a lot of it was, like, arguing about our time.
33:01So, like, I'm really prioritising my career.
33:03I really want to be super successful.
33:05I want to make shit loads of money.
33:07And do you find it tricky,
33:08the fact he is not going to work every day?
33:11You like that?
33:12I actually like it because I really want one of us
33:14to be at home with Wilbs.
33:16Does he want to do it?
33:17To be honest, a lot of the time he does say, like,
33:20can't we just put him in nursery or something like that?
33:22But part of me is like, well, what are you going to do all day?
33:26When I had India, I became a single mum quite quickly
33:30and I needed some help.
33:33Nursery was a really positive thing
33:34and it gave me some space to be me again.
33:37So, I completely understand why James feels the need
33:41to have a break from parenting.
33:41It's a lot.
33:43And although he's not working every day,
33:45you're still around a child.
33:47You can't switch off.
33:49Well, I'm very excited for your birthday.
33:51I'm looking forward to seeing everyone.
33:52That's going to be so nice to celebrate.
33:53Have you spoken to Rosie at all?
33:55No.
33:55You haven't?
33:56No. Not since we last filmed.
33:58What?
34:00Back in the day on Made in Chelsea, Rosie and I didn't really get on.
34:03I never really figured out why.
34:06I feel like she just kind of had a problem with me,
34:09didn't really like me and my vibe or whatever.
34:12And any opportunity that she got to have a little pop at me,
34:16she was right there, ready.
34:18I kind of feel like I am at a place where I'm happy to be friendly
34:24and I have to say most of the time I don't feel like it's reciprocated.
34:29I feel like she has zero interest in my life
34:32and very little interest in being friendly and polite.
34:36There's something I can't, like, figure out with her.
34:39She's quite cold. I know I'm cold too.
34:41But I don't know if it's that she just doesn't like me.
34:46I don't think she doesn't like you.
34:47What do you think it is?
34:49I don't know.
34:50I do feel like I am slightly in the middle between Lucy and Rosie.
34:53I honestly thought things were going pretty well last year,
34:56but it does feel like maybe this whole situation isn't going to change.
35:03You're both pretty strong businesswomen.
35:05That's why I think you're quite similar, but...
35:07Oh, you do. She's...
35:08Well, you are. You're both strong.
35:09You're a strong, independent businesswomen.
35:12OK.
35:13Let's see how the birthday lunch goes
35:16and see what it's like when you see her.
35:19It's gonna fix it.
35:22It's gonna fix it.
35:39It's gonna fix it.
35:40It's gonna fix it.
35:47It's gonna fix it.
35:48I don't know.
35:48Good, you're good.
35:49Wow, look at this.
35:55Hey Gaga.
35:56Hello, Figgy.
35:58You look amazing.
35:59How are ya?
36:09don't you look gorgeous oh my god so gorgeous hanging oh so i love you you look stunning heaven
36:19rosie you look glorious she's such a bitch isn't she she always looks so well put together and
36:25well she's certainly well put together but she looks beautiful glass of champagne it'll help the
36:30hangover please i went to this thing called tuna fight club at the supermarket of dreams and they
36:35wheel out a 13 000 pound tuna and if i eat tuna ever again i'm gonna vomit it was my
36:41friend's
36:42divorce party but it was really good fun thank you so much so you are there with james and lucy
36:49but by the way everything is fine with you lucy isn't it yeah i mean it's the show that's brought
36:54us together there's no issue but had the show not brought us together you still hate each other
36:58even be a thing to discuss no i just don't think i have anything to relate to with lucy for
37:07her being
37:08vegan is like her identity and for me i love eating steak it's not my identity though
37:22well you wouldn't have to go today if it could be tomorrow go today go today go today well
37:27okay all right thank you cheers bye-bye i'm now just freaking out because obviously the stone was supposed
37:38to get better today and it doesn't fit i think it's quite an easy thing to fix to be honest
37:45really
37:47what would you want to say we'll have to burn the kitchen now
37:51if you want i'll take the flowers okay cool well maybe you should take them you can give them to
37:55rosie
37:56say hun i missed you i bought it from flowers um no probably not hello
38:06hi how are you hello hello hello how's it going good how are you you look gorgeous
38:23how are you doing good thank you how you doing yeah good thank you it felt a bit awkward because
38:33i hadn't seen lucy in a while and we're not friends if it wasn't for binky's birthday we're not going
38:38to hang out delicious wow thank you so much it does look delicious how have you been rosie good
38:45thank you good ages i thought i'd bump into you more and pass the screen because i'm always enough
38:51i've just been busy just working i went to the bahamas to see my sister which was lovely nice yeah
38:57i think said that you're dating someone that's exciting mm-hmm yeah how long have you been dating
39:04um a few months oh nice yeah how's that going been all right yeah it's great thanks guys
39:13oh you don't want to talk about it i don't know oh i don't know either i'm sorry i don't
39:18know either
39:21soon as lucy mentioned rosie's dating life my heart did drop and she's now on pause with this
39:27man i mean you're not going to be in the best headspace you're going to be feeling a bit
39:31shit so it was probably the worst question to be asked that time by probably the worst person
39:41did you know that i was going to go and see a neurologist about ms i didn't know did you
39:45not
39:45no well i did and it was actually a really positive chance apparently ms is genetic right but there's a
39:54very small chance that we might have it well that's good news yeah but by my age you knew you
40:02had something wrong with you i did you as early as that i never knew i had it i knew
40:06there's something
40:07wrong with me but i still went on did the things that were fun right if you'd known you had
40:12ms you
40:13wouldn't have attempted to ski you wouldn't have attempted to play tennis you would have stopped
40:16yeah it would have held you back so it's good that you didn't know yeah quite i went for a
40:20quick
40:21meeting yesterday we had nine bottles of wine between four of us four how are you hanging out
40:26your ass i would be dead i'd be dead absolutely fine do you feel fine now i feel fine now
40:30oh were
40:31you there too no i had i went to a divorce party last night oh love that i don't i
40:39honestly don't know
40:40if she's like why are you even talking to me or if it's that she just doesn't actually have the
40:46capability to converse on a level with someone i i get the vibe that she thinks she's better than
40:53everyone else i find it quite strenuous to be mentally engaged by her i just don't think you
40:59need to be fake and go the extra mile to be interested in someone's life when i couldn't really care
41:07less
41:08how's willoughby yeah willoughby's good he's signed with a modeling agent mine got rejected did they
41:15yeah i thought cheeky cunts they said they are cute but we'll wait till they're four
41:21okay how does that pie taste i said thanks
41:28how are you finding being in a uh building site with a toddler stressful as far but i think we're
41:34at
41:34the point where the light is at the end of the tunnel have you ever had um therapy oh what
41:38as
41:39a marriage therapy yeah i think it's important i think it's really i think a lot of couples need
41:42that i kind of saw therapy as last resort yeah whereas lucy as you know is very proactive and
41:47she sees it as if we learn one thing that makes things better in our relationship then it's a good
41:51thing it makes you a team again we definitely felt closer afterwards didn't we yeah it was good we've
41:56argued a lot less sometimes in a relationship the wife maybe has to get the man the good mood
42:03before he will open up to be able to even contemplate the fact he might be wrong about
42:08something but i wouldn't marry someone in the first place who i hadn't i didn't have an open
42:14relationship where you can speak you know you you want to make sure that the foundations of
42:19that are there in the beginning so that you're not trying to pick the best time to speak to your
42:24husband i couldn't think of anything worse than walking on eggshells but you don't always know
42:28because every marriage starts with great happiness yeah but you get things get lost in translation
42:32stressful situations mean that you just like don't prioritize it which i really wanted to
42:38prioritize it so that's how you went i don't think rosie has the ability to understand where i'm coming
42:43from with this situation because she isn't in a marriage she doesn't have kids you just don't know
42:48the fuck you're talking about but thank you thank you for your input come bearing gifts from your
42:54husband max oh amazing that's very lovely favorite bottle we like brunard as well ah it means he's
43:01spent a pennant which we liked well done max it's gone up in your estimation max that's sweet that's
43:06thoughtful that's a good boy let's get rid of this garbage forgiven yes yeah get rid of that cheap house
43:11shirt you bought it's my favorite so i had some help from tally to write a poem for you i
43:20hope i can
43:22do it justice binks to know and love you is to have a friend for life a wonderful bestie businesswoman
43:29mummy and wife it was filming made in chelsea where we first met 15 years of friendship memories i won't
43:36forget we've come a long way less hair extensions and fake tan we lived for a wild night out and
43:46a fun
43:46last minute plan you've consistently had my back you're loving and kind we all enjoy how you will
43:54say whatever comes to mind i i did feel a little bit sick you're one in a million binks a
44:06best friend that i treasure i promise to always be there for you and your family forever
44:12i feel so immensely proud of who you are and everything you do so here's to your birthday
44:17to friendship but mostly here's to you oh thank you my god love you happy birthday
44:25it was just like sickly sweet and also it's her 35th birthday not her wedding
44:32i'm so tired now i've got to work when i get home i drank last night
44:36yeah you're gonna go and see your boyfriend no is he not your boyfriend gonna go home no
44:41okay that's why you don't want to talk about it it's over it is actually yeah
44:49no that's really sad i'm sorry you okay yeah
44:56i guess i'd rather just shut down a conversation with lucy if it's about my personal life because it
45:00just feels uncomfortable so what i'll do when i'll stand up i just want a quick toast oh oh
45:06oh so all right we've all been friends for lots and lots of years through different times all
45:12starting on that silly show that we love all grown up we're all a bit grayer a bit gayer
45:18speaks us out yeah and um i think we're all very lucky to have each other i really do believe
45:22it cheers
45:23to you binks happy birthday thank you very much thank you for coming happy birthday cheers cheers
45:28cheers we love you love you too and thank you for my parents
45:44i'm gonna be you're a pro i got shit on i do want to talk about the kitchen
45:52or people be able to cook and use the kitchen i thought you were a bit quiet with lucy just
45:57like
45:58not friends with her that's the thing i'm prepared to be like civil and be friendly for binky's sake
46:02and i feel like she's just like can't even do that so lucy's book we're going to launch yes who
46:09are we
46:09waiting for actually oh tiff tiff's coming oh and rosie she said i eat meat and i have no interest
46:15in
46:15vegan food what good great
46:34so
46:40you
46:41you
46:42you
46:50you
46:50you
46:51you
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