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00:00All right, thank you everybody for being here, for taking time out of your day, especially
00:16if you are navigating between balancing parenthood and career like myself.
00:21So I just hope that this session, you're able to learn some ways to stay centered, connected,
00:27and focused.
00:28So some key objectives, we're going to focus on how to manage being a parent while navigating
00:34your career, learning when to prioritize parenting over your career, protecting yourself against
00:40burnout, how to choose yourself when navigating between parenting and work, and discussing
00:46the harsh realities of having to choose between parenting and your career.
00:52So first, I want to make sure that you can get to know me.
00:55I'm a woman, a wife, a mom, all of the things.
01:01I'm also a St. Louis native, mom of two, and a fur baby, as you can see here in the photo.
01:09A newlywed, so formerly Winnie Caldwell, but I'm actually Winnie Thompson, and I have a background
01:23in corporate communications.
01:25I'm also the COO of Books and Bros, and also a publicist.
01:29So while I name all of those things, getting here was not easy.
01:35I actually became a mom at the age of 16, navigating parenthood, and just everything else had gotten
01:43harder before it became easier.
01:45So as you see here, I have an embarrassing photo of me changing my son when I was 16 years old,
01:51literally figuring it out.
01:53This right here is my prom picture.
01:55I was headed out to prom, and, you know, just really navigating parenthood, but the real shakeup
02:01for my life was actually this photo here.
02:05Back in 2010, my son and I survived a tornado.
02:09It hit our entire apartment complex.
02:11I had no idea what was going on.
02:13Like I said, I grew up in St. Louis.
02:15We're used to storms.
02:16We're used to the Midwest having crazy weather, but then all of a sudden, our place was shaking.
02:22We were running to the basement, and that was a moment that I did not expect to shake up my life,
02:27literally, the way that it did.
02:30I didn't even learn true community until we went through that.
02:33Essentially, what I appreciate the most from that time was,
02:38unfortunately, losing almost everything helped us gain a larger connection with our community,
02:44where we lived.
02:45I'll never forget my son going to school and the school calling me and saying,
02:49hey, instead of Sidney taking the bus to his normal bus stop after school,
02:54you'll have to come and pick him up because he has too many bags of new clothes and new shoes
02:59that families had brought.
03:00You know, he had toys.
03:02His classmates were hand-making him cards for our family just to say everything will be okay.
03:08And that's a moment that I'll never forget.
03:10And that's a moment that introduced me not only to community, but even to therapy.
03:14And I'm going to get to that in a moment.
03:16So I cannot mention community without talking about how our life shifted, even just in that realm.
03:25In 2016, I actually took my son to a bookstore for the first time.
03:31So I have an activity for you.
03:33I need everybody here to close their eyes.
03:37You got them closed?
03:39All right.
03:41So imagine the first time that you ever walked into a bookstore.
03:44Imagine the first time that you ever walked into a library.
03:47What type of books did you see?
03:49What did you see provided to you through literacy?
03:55So when we walked in I See Me bookstore, the only African-American children's bookstore in St. Louis,
04:01we saw black and brown figures from spiritual figures to comic book characters
04:05that we fantasize about becoming and even the civil rights leaders that we appreciate to this day.
04:11You can now open your eyes.
04:13So while we were at I See Me, Sidney, my son, was actually going through and exploring the different
04:19stories. And one in particular book got his attention. And I believe that it got his attention
04:25because the boy on the cover of the book looked just like him. It was a book called Danny Dollar,
04:30Millionaire Extraordinaire. And it was about a boy who became a millionaire from a lemonade stand.
04:34But this book also taught financial literacy, which we don't learn a lot in our schools,
04:38especially in elementary school. So he was getting an introduction not only to a character who looked
04:43like him, but also to financial literacy. And so I saw this moment and I was like, oh my gosh,
04:48like I need to showcase this. And essentially what I did for the first time, I went live on Facebook.
04:53I had no idea what I was doing. I was not prepared to go live on social media. It was very new
04:59at the time. I had on no makeup. It was hot in the middle of August. But I said I wanted to support
05:04this store and also showcase this beautiful moment with my son. And the video ended up going viral.
05:09It got over 65,000 views. And essentially what we realized is that we hit something. And so with that,
05:17I said, do you want to have this 15 minutes of fame or do you want to do something about it? And he said,
05:22well, is there a book club I could join? Because he wanted to make more friends at the time. We did our
05:27research. We didn't find anything. So then that's when we created Books and Bros.
05:31So as you see here, there's photos from our book club meetups where the boys would essentially read
05:36together. It was always, you know, books that Sydney would choose from African-American culture.
05:41We even had an amazing moment actually at the top of 2020 where my son was turned into a Marvel hero.
05:48So we do have an episode on Disney Plus, which is amazing to even say. So we were able to give
05:53comics to all of the boys of our membership at that time. And it's just been an amazing journey.
06:00And so with this journey, we've had a multitude of shifts. And while I'm mentioning this journey,
06:08I'm using my journey to hopefully give you some hope and showcase that you can essentially do it
06:15all. You can balance parenthood, whether if you're married, if you're single. At the time,
06:20I was a single mother and we were going through all of these shifts. I first met about a few years
06:26ago, who's now my husband, Marwin. And he actually shifted my mindset when it came to trusting others,
06:33trusting others around my family, of course, with my son, and really just showcasing that I really
06:39needed somebody in purpose, on purpose. I didn't necessarily just need to be with someone who was
06:44an entrepreneur, but he protects our family. He serves and makes sure that we're safe and his values align
06:50with ours. And after being with Marwin, our family shifted. We actually relocated from St. Louis to
06:59Atlanta, Georgia, actually to follow the educational needs of my son. So with him having so much exposure
07:06to so many things so fast, he actually said at the young age of about 12 that he wanted to be somewhere
07:14that would give him access to education and prepare him for a better education, no matter where he lived
07:21in the country or outside of the country. And as a parent, one thing that I can say is always make
07:26sure that you go somewhere where you know you'll have a village. In Atlanta, we have a nice amount
07:31of friends that feel like family. We have a village here. So regardless if I was a married mother or a
07:37single mother, I felt rooted and comfortable in a city like Atlanta. And then unexpectedly,
07:45we expanded our family. So I am one of the people that have a pandemic baby and she is actually very
07:52advanced. But with all of this, you know, in every single spectrum, I essentially bet on myself and I
07:58won. You know, I bet on myself and entrepreneurship. I said I would go after what I am passionate about.
08:05I would go after everything that I deserved in life and I use all of my skills that I took from
08:10corporate America and from my career to get to where we are today. So now that we're better acquainted,
08:18let's get to the key objectives and address the shifts that you'll encounter if you haven't already.
08:24So I'm breaking this up into three shifts before the shift, during the shift and after the shift.
08:31So before the shift, make sure that you connect with your family on your next moves. It's important,
08:41regardless if you're a single parent or if you're married, if you have another spouse that you
08:46communicate. Because if you have certain goals that you want to go after, it may take more time away
08:51from the household because you'll need time to do research. Make sure that you reevaluate all of the
08:58time your transferable skills. So one piece of advice that my mom has given me since I was about 18
09:04is to always update your resume. Your resume is never going to actually be fully complete every
09:10single year, every single job. You know, you always learning new skills. Your boss is always going to
09:15ask you to do them a favor. You know, and that's something that you can add, you know, to your resume.
09:22So always reevaluate your transferable skills. And when I say transferable skills, I mean skill
09:27sets that you have in one area that you can transfer to another field, to another company,
09:32or even to working for yourself. And clarify the values that you want the new company to have.
09:38So one thing that has always been important to me is my son. I am a millennial's millennial. I think
09:44if you ask any of my former employee, employers, they will tell you I had no problem leaving a job
09:51when it came to supporting my son. That may be something that, you know, the baby boomer generation
09:56may roll their eyes at. But I've always been very passionate about my child. I remember, you know,
10:02I can laugh at it now, but one of my first jobs, I was actually working at McDonald's.
10:07And I'll never forget, McDonald's, Big Macs went on sale, buy one, get one free. And people were
10:12going crazy. I remember going home smelling like cheese and crying. And when I walked in the house,
10:19Sidney was taking his first steps. And I was like, oh my God. And I'm like, this moment is more
10:25important than flipping burgers. And with me being so young at the time, I think I was only 17.
10:30I am grateful to say that my mother gave me the option to work. She did not require for me to work.
10:36So with that said, she said, Winnie, you don't have to do this. You don't have to work tirelessly.
10:41I just want you to focus on your education. Because we were trying to make sure that I
10:45would graduate high school. And so I left McDonald's. I remember that manager saying,
10:49but what about your baby? And I said, he would be fine. And clearly he is okay.
10:53You know, so that's just a moment that I always cherish. You know, even for parents who, you know,
11:00may look back at this. With me being a teen mom, I've always been very cognizant about my education.
11:08And I don't know if that stems from my mother. But one thing that I'm also grateful for is that
11:14I researched and I found some homeschool opportunities where I could essentially
11:19make sure to homeschool once I was on maternity leave so I could graduate on time. And it's like
11:24even saying that out loud and thinking about it, I'm like, wow, I was really serious, you know,
11:29about making sure that I crossed the stage with my friends on time and how I wanted to.
11:36During the shift, communicate with your children. So I know before I said communicate with your family,
11:41but it's also very important that you communicate with your children and say,
11:44these are the changes that are going to happen. Because essentially, let's say, you know,
11:49we won't even say that you're trying to elevate in corporate America. Sometimes shifting in your
11:53career, you could, you know, downgrade and say, okay, you know what, I don't want this responsibility
11:58in an executive role anymore. I would prefer to actually be, you know, someone's admin assistant,
12:04or I would prefer to work remotely. Whatever that job, you know, shift looks like, you should
12:09communicate with your child and say, you know what, I'm going to scale down. Therefore,
12:13that means that you can't eat fast food every Friday night. We may have to scale it back
12:18to every two weeks. You know, that may mean that on Fridays, instead of going out to eat,
12:22we're going to cook at home. And in the other direction, you want to communicate with your
12:27children and say, this may take me away from home. You know, I may not be here on the weekends.
12:33I may have to travel. If you communicate that with your child ahead of time, that will decrease,
12:38you know, some anxiety that could come with the shift, that could decrease some resentment,
12:43that could come from the shift, and more. Also, accept the placement, aka renew your mind.
12:50I cannot mention all of these things in my journey or with going through a career shift without
12:55mentioning the importance of therapy. With the tornado that happened, that was my first introduction
13:03to actually seeing a therapist. I thought that I was going just because I was having flashbacks and
13:08I experienced PTSD with surviving a natural disaster, but it essentially uprooted other
13:14things that I didn't realize that I had suppressed. You know, so with that, that helped me to shed off
13:19some bad habits, shed off some old mindsets, and prepare myself to be in a different position.
13:25I couldn't even tell you when that tornado happened. I would have never imagined being here speaking
13:29with you today, but I think that this opportunity came from me being in a new mindset and having a
13:36clearer and more healthy head space. And lastly, connect with others in your field, especially via
13:42LinkedIn. I'm going to pause there and say, especially LinkedIn. I feel like I've been constantly
13:51vomiting, use LinkedIn, use LinkedIn, because there have been so many amazing opportunities,
13:56even with me being able to speak with you today, I believe was from a connection from LinkedIn.
14:01So I don't want that to go, you know, unnoticed, untapped. I even created a LinkedIn for my son,
14:07and he's only 16 years old now. But I did that to set him up for his career once he graduates
14:14high school, if he decides that he wants to go into a different field, or if he just wants to network
14:19and meet other people. That's his digital business card. We're not handing out physical business cards
14:23anymore. But you can say, do you have a LinkedIn? You know, let me see your page or let me scan or
14:28whatever. It's the easy way for you to connect with others. And after the shift, connect with everyone
14:35on the team. So something that I kind of brag about is I have no problem connecting with the janitor
14:42all the way up to the president, because both roles are equally important. The janitor knows the culture
14:48of the company, and the president knows the company. So just let that sit, let that marinate.
14:53You know, the janitor is always going to know who is coming in and out, what time they come,
14:58how their schedule changes, you know, what their family dynamic is like, and how it's important to
15:03the role that you may be going after. And the president can tell you what they're looking for.
15:07The president may need somebody who's on the ground floor running. And so just having access to both
15:13people being friendly to both people being respectful to both people in those roles, you
15:19know, is highly important. Open yourself up to opportunities. So like I said, make sure that
15:25you're prepared. You know, once again, for example, I created a LinkedIn page for my son. I'm opening him
15:31up to opportunities to connect with others, whether if it's for his high school or his college education,
15:37opening myself up to opportunities like this. I made sure, you know, I kind of joked about it,
15:42but I said, you know what, I need a new haircut and new head shots, you know, for my update, you
15:49know, for my website. And then shortly after that, I was contacted and I'm here today, but I opened
15:55myself up. I prepared for something that I didn't even know I was preparing for. But if you, you know,
16:00work ahead of time, then you'll be right on time. Create a plan with your family in mind. So
16:06my son will be happy to hear this and hopefully he can, you know, advocate for me in this moment. But
16:13when I say create a plan, I mean a plan for your household. As things shift, responsibilities may
16:19change. And you always want to make sure that your family is all on the same level playing field. With
16:24that said, chores are important, you know, and if you have a child, and let's say if you only have one
16:31child, essentially, you're going to see, okay, Sydney is the only person with a list of a list
16:37of chores that are on the refrigerator. But actually, that's not the case. When we created our chores,
16:43we created a chart. And so there was my name, there was his name, and there's my husband's name.
16:48We all have chores. Now, granted, there are things that I do all the time just because
16:53it's out of habit. But I purposely made sure that we were listed so that way it didn't seem like
16:57everything was falling on him. You know, essentially, it's showing that we're a team,
17:02that it's not just his responsibility, even though he knows, you know, the dishes aren't
17:06magically getting washed, or the living room isn't magically just at the snap of a finger,
17:12becoming clean, but that he knows that it's a level playing field. Set your boundaries and be
17:18transparent with your children. So once again, just after the shift, once you're going through this
17:23new career journey, just continue to be transparent, make sure that you're not being irritable with
17:28your child. And if it does happen, it's okay to apologize to your child. You know, because we are
17:35human, I will say that one of the things that I'm most proud to say is that I think with working
17:40through transferring my skills from corporate and working like in a nonprofit sector to now working
17:46for myself with my son, it allowed him to see me not only as his mother, but as a woman.
17:52It allowed for him to see me as human. You know, he's seen me cry when business,
17:57entrepreneurship goes up and then it goes down. He's seen me get upset when, you know,
18:03certain opportunities don't go as we think because that happens in entrepreneurship. But he's also seen
18:08me very elated when things go even above expectation. And I think that that just allowed for him to see
18:14that there's a multitude of layers when it comes to his mother.
18:17Here are some resources that I wanted to share. If you're not already aware, Elevate Meta, you know,
18:27it's new Facebook. Elevate Meta is a platform that offers Black and Latinx, Hispanic business owners
18:33and communities resources, education and support to help pursue your goals. You can literally look up
18:40MetaElevate and you'll pop up right to this page. As you can see, they're offering a free digital marketing
18:46certification for black learners. Also, there's a Facebook group that I'm in. It's a little less
18:52than a thousand members. And I actually appreciate that because before a group blows up, it actually
18:58has some of the best opportunities and the best content. I've constantly seen women, especially
19:03women of color, get access to going into corporate America sometimes for the first time using and
19:09learning how to identify their transferable skills to go to the next level in their career. So
19:15this group is called Corporate Cutie. And then also the Mom Project. So I really appreciate this
19:21one because they offer opportunity to help you identify not only your transferable skills, but if
19:26you want to get into the digital space, if you want to jump into the tech world, they actually offer some free
19:33certifications. For example, a Google certification that you'll actually need that will help you to
19:38understand coding, software management, and et cetera.
19:45And this is actually a quote from my favorite therapist, the therapist that I've had actually
19:51for about the last eight years. And she always has to remind me of this probably at least once a quarter
19:57year is keep you at the front of your life's equation. I say that again, keep you at the front of your
20:06life's equation.
20:07All right, so I have one more favor to ask. I need you to stand up.
20:16Okay, you standing? You're gonna have to be hands-free, Sydney.
20:19All right, so stand up and close your eyes. Everyone's eyes closed. Okay, repeat after me. Say, I am.
20:30I will. Keep your eyes closed. I am. I will. We are removing the word might. You deserve completion.
20:44So one more time. I am. I am. And I will. I will. Also say this after me. I will keep me at the front
20:55of my life's equation. I will keep me at the front of my life's equation. Open your eyes and give yourself
21:03an applause. Thank you.
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