00:00Hey, Nice to the Curly World, I'm Evelyn.
00:02And I'm Nikki.
00:03And here on this channel, we believe in education,
00:05gay, freeing your mind.
00:07And summer vacation's coming to an end,
00:09and it is time to hit the books again.
00:11We've been out of school for quite some time now.
00:13But with the start of school, we
00:15thought we could put our US public education to the test.
00:19Can we pass elementary school?
00:23OK, so in elementary school, I was pretty much a dweeb,
00:26and I was really, really shy.
00:29I went to a few elementary schools.
00:31My mom was bouncing around all over Houston, Texas.
00:35But I was good at drawing.
00:38I was great at art.
00:40I loved reading and writing.
00:43How do I think I'll do today?
00:45I don't know.
00:45If there's a lot of math and science questions,
00:48I'm going to be making stuff up.
00:49So we'll see how it goes.
00:51I've BS my way all through elementary, middle school,
00:54high school, college.
00:56So maybe I'll be able to BS my way through this test.
00:58I have no idea.
00:59What was I like in elementary school?
01:01I was a nerd.
01:03I was such a nerd.
01:05I also wasn't allowed to be bad at anything.
01:08So I was in my books all the time.
01:11I did well in everything, but I especially
01:14loved writing and reading because you could be creative.
01:18In school, they teach us rote memorization.
01:22We don't retain anything, so I don't have high expectations.
01:26But I got my degree, so I'll do it when they matter in the end.
01:29All right, are you guys ready?
01:31Yes.
01:32Also, is this graded on a curve?
01:36First grade social studies.
01:39Five of the US federal holidays fall on what day of the week?
01:45I remember growing up, MLK, they tried to call MLK Day like a, like a, just a teacher's
01:54work day.
01:55And my dad was like, nope, it's MLK Day.
01:58Yay.
01:59Yay.
02:00All right.
02:01I'm starting to say this.
02:02Wait a little bit.
02:03This one's funny.
02:06Okay.
02:07Second grade measurements.
02:11If March 1st falls on a Wednesday, what day does April 1st fall on?
02:18Okay.
02:1930 days have September, April, June, and November.
02:22I cannot stand her.
02:24All the rest have 31.
02:27What a nerd.
02:28Like, what a nerd.
02:29Ugh.
02:30I'm gonna guess on this one.
02:31We just gonna see.
02:32Did we learn this in school?
02:33Mom, I'm sorry.
02:34You spent so much money on my education.
02:35We didn't learn this.
02:36Okay.
02:37Are you ready?
02:38Yes.
02:39Show me your answer.
02:40You was both wrong.
02:41I knew it.
02:42I wasn't gonna sit here counting the days.
02:43I was gonna say Friday.
02:45It was Saturday.
02:46Ugh.
02:47Third grade history.
02:49What US state did the Civil War Gettysburg battle take place in?
02:55Oh my god, y'all.
02:56I'm sorry.
02:57I didn't.
02:58Is it Pennsylvania?
02:59I knew it.
03:00I was like Virginia or Pennsylvania.
03:01Both I'm racist.
03:02Wait, the Civil War was in Pennsylvania?
03:03True or false.
03:04All triangles are polygons.
03:05Poly means many, right?
03:06And gone means a shape.
03:07Or a side.
03:08So like octagon, pentagon, hexagon.
03:10The only thing that's not a polygon is a line, right?
03:12Right?
03:13Right.
03:14Right.
03:15Right.
03:16Right.
03:17Right.
03:18Right.
03:19Right.
03:20Right.
03:21Right.
03:22Right.
03:23Right.
03:24Right.
03:25Right.
03:26Right.
03:27Right.
03:28Right.
03:29Right.
03:30Right.
03:31Right.
03:32Right.
03:33Right.
03:34It's true.
03:35It's true.
03:36Oh, I was.
03:37The Kalahari Desert is located on what continent?
03:48Africa, South America, or Asia?
03:52It's Africa!
03:57Yay!
03:58I'm on the line!
04:01Out of 10, we are failing.
04:03We are both failing.
04:05Fifth grade life science.
04:07Do fifth graders know this?
04:09Okay.
04:10In the human body, the adrenal glands are located directly above what organ?
04:16Bruh, I didn't even know how the vagina worked last week.
04:20The adrenal gland is adrenaline, all right?
04:23It's your fight or flight, right?
04:25So why would it be like above the stomach?
04:28That don't make sense.
04:29That makes no sense.
04:30You know, so there's the endocrine system, right?
04:34Cardiovascular.
04:43What did you say?
04:44Large intestine?
04:45That, you spelled that so wrong.
04:48Einstein is how you spell intestine.
04:51It's intestine!
04:52Is it the brain?
04:53It is directly above the kidney.
04:56Oh.
04:58The sentence, Alana always ate anchovies, is an example of which of the father-
05:03Bitch!
05:04Let me-
05:05Go ahead, write this down!
05:08We are writers!
05:09We are scholars!
05:10Go ahead.
05:13You're right.
05:14Let's do some basic algebra.
05:16We were doing algebra.
05:17We were doing algebra.
05:18We were doing algebra.
05:19You were so perplexed!
05:21If y equals 3x, and 3x equals 12, what does y equal?
05:35When I tell you I do not even know where to begin?
05:38Wait.
05:39Evelyn's right.
05:40Yes!
05:41At first I was doing math, and I'm like, she's not asking us to do any math.
05:46No.
05:47Why?
05:48Bye.
05:49Whatever, man.
05:50This is transitive property, guys.
05:51It's the what?
05:52Transitive property.
05:53I don't know about no transitive property!
05:56Who was the only person to be elected U.S. president four times?
06:03You only get two terms.
06:05Yes.
06:06Which means if it's four times, somebody had to die.
06:09No.
06:10No?
06:11That's wrong.
06:12I feel like this old school's an old, old white man, so we ain't gonna go Obama years.
06:16Yes!
06:17Yes!
06:18You got it.
06:19That's why I was like, why is that Teddy?
06:22I feel like Grover Cleveland and Teddy look alike.
06:25They're probably both chubby with a mustache and like, spectacles.
06:27They probably don't look anything alike.
06:28This is dumb.
06:29Approximately how long does it take for the moon to go around the earth?
06:33One day?
06:34One month?
06:35Or one year?
06:37The moon.
06:38I'm sorry.
06:41It's one month.
06:43A day?
06:44A day?
06:45A day?
06:46You see it all the time, you know what I'm saying?
06:49I got three right.
06:52That's not bad.
06:53That's one.
06:55Two.
06:58Three.
06:59Can you count faster?
07:00I mean, did they teach you that in elementary school?
07:02I had to count.
07:03Five.
07:04Six.
07:05Seven.
07:06I got a 70.
07:07If you combine our scores, we got 100%.
07:09Well, what did you get by yourself?
07:11I got 30%.
07:14I'm the winner.
07:15I'm gangfully employed.
07:16You know what I'm saying?
07:17Has a degree.
07:24How do I feel now?
07:25I feel great.
07:26A little hot.
07:27Cause you know, the questions were making me sweat a little bit.
07:30I thought about like, oh, I'll just like, you know, study up.
07:34But then I was like, who cares?
07:35What does this knowledge do for me?
07:37Nothing.
07:38Does it add to my bank account?
07:39No.
07:40Advice for people in elementary school?
07:42Get naps.
07:44Take advantage of your recess.
07:45Cause it's gone in middle school.
07:47It's gone high school.
07:48You don't get naps or recess.
07:49As far as learning, do what you can.
07:53It's okay to be a nerd and learn everything you can.
07:56Because eventually, when you're my age, it's gonna disappear.
07:59No one will care.
08:01I feel pretty great.
08:03I'm feeling like I haven't lost my mojo.
08:07I did get a 70, which is barely passing.
08:10But I have since evolved from my emotional breakdowns of getting like 89s.
08:15And now, as long as I pass, I'm good.
08:20Public education is really just about knowing a bunch of facts, like factoids.
08:26So like, if you're a horrible person, but you know the Gettysburg Address was in Pennsylvania, like, so?
08:32In the comments below, let us know what you were like in elementary school.
08:36Were you a good student?
08:37Were you a bad student?
08:38Does it matter anymore?
08:40If you are a literal child watching this video, stay in school.
08:44Don't rush to be a grown-up.
08:46It kind of sucks.
08:47Don't forget to comment, like, share, and subscribe.
08:50We make videos every Friday, so we'll see you next Friday.
08:53Bye!
08:54So, the adrenal gland leaks out adrenaline.
08:58Yeah.
08:59Does it come to your brain?
09:01It leaks out!
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