00:00as a married woman how what tips would you get give women who need to heal in the midst
00:09of having a relationship with their partner with a man how does a woman heal her little girl her
00:17teenage girl while she's trying to be a big grown woman with a man
00:22let me tell you something that you and i both know this right here
00:26like you said in the book this is getting ready to get real okay yeah okay because that that is
00:36probably that's probably has been one of my biggest challenges you know in and it is a process i would
00:47tell i would tell women make sure the partner that you're with
00:54is the proper proper partner for the for your curriculum right because not all partners
01:02right um are the right ones and it doesn't mean and let me tell you it doesn't mean just because
01:11it's difficult and challenging that that person is not the right one right right okay because really
01:20i had to start looking at
01:22i had to come to terms with i didn't know what i was doing
01:28on any level right on any level okay i had to come to terms with that like
01:38i yeah i didn't know what i was doing okay and i had to come to terms with
01:44i came into this relationship with a whole lot of stuff that didn't have nothing to do with will
01:53yeah and i had to stop blaming him for my stuff coming up in our stuff the stuff he triggered the
02:05stuff he triggered the stuff he triggered and i had to start looking at him as a mirror
02:12beautiful that's what relationships do they put that's what it is that's it that's it right and i had to
02:21stop looking towards my relationship and looking towards will to be something for me that i was
02:29not willing to be for myself right there that's the hallelujah truth say it again say it again miss jada
02:36yeah i had to stop looking to this relationship and to will you know to be for me what i was not
02:43willing to be for myself and let me tell you something that was probably that that is one of the most
02:51difficult
02:52yeah yeah yeah so when you stop looking at him to be something
03:09for you that you're not being for yourself when you become willing to be that thing for yourself
03:17what happens to your relationship with him oh man it just transformed it becomes something
03:24totally different yeah totally different you know it's it's what i call that um when i when i
03:32started coming into my emotional independence yes my emotional and psychological independence
03:39and i could see i could start i could start seeing um where i had the most unreasonable expectations of him
03:49and how unkind and unloving yes that was yeah yeah yeah yeah that's that's where a lot of us go off i i i i
04:01i sense in relationships that when we come into it instead of saying i had unreasonable expectations
04:10you make him or her wrong yeah and we walk away yeah we walk away and lord knows
04:19listen they were you been back a couple of times
04:22you know yeah i had my little bag like you know and um you know and really but that's part of it too
04:35yes that's part of it too what made you say because he's the perfect damn mirror okay good
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