- 3 weeks ago
A conversation on how to love your current you in the mirror daily, and accepting the things that we may not always appreciate about our bodies and selves.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Hi, everyone, I am Charlie Penn, lifestyle director here at Essence Magazine, live in
00:10New Orleans, and we are having one incredible conversation after another today. I'm so excited
00:15to have this one because we're going to be talking about one of my favorite things, which
00:18is self-care, which we are all learning to do more of as we learn to live loud. So today
00:22we have three very special guests with us to talk about how they've learned to practice
00:26self-care and take care of their mind, body, and soul in life post-pandemic. We have the
00:30real co-host, Adrienne Bailon, founder and CEO of FBF Bodies, Akia Blaine, and Dr. Javara
00:36Godfrey. Welcome, you all. Thank you. It's nice to be here. I'm so happy that we're having
00:41this conversation, you guys, because I don't know about you, but after the pandemic, when
00:45we were all like self-care, self-care, I really figured out what I like and what makes me happy,
00:50right? Look at that. We figured some things out. Right. Absolutely. Got time to spend with
00:55yourself. Yes. So I want to know what you all learned about yourself and how you transferred
01:00that into self-care. Adrienne, go first. I feel like I learned that I enjoy being around
01:05my family. During the pandemic, my family actually drove cross-country from New York to Los Angeles,
01:11and that actually changed my perspective on life. I actually realized I moved out of my home
01:16when I was 14, 15 years old to join my first girl group, 3LW, and I had never lived with my
01:22mom since then and found myself at 37 years old and realizing I needed more of that family
01:29environment. I had been living in LA all these years doing the real, and so I actually decided
01:35to relocate and instead sell my home in Los Angeles and move back to New York. Oh, I love that.
01:40So that's like a huge difference. That's big. That was, in the words of Oprah, that was my
01:45aha moment was, you know, because we became a quarantine squad, it was just us. I realized that
01:51I really missed. I had not had that experience in such a long time, and I couldn't imagine
01:56missing out on, you know, the moments of my nieces growing up. Like, I didn't want to
02:01miss out on any of those things anymore. So that really put into perspective what mattered
02:05to me and made me make a big change. That was a big change. Yeah, really big.
02:09Zaki, what about you? I know you learned some things. What'd you learn? Well, for me, I learned
02:14that I love my children. I like to be, I like to be, no, my kids are like the funniest people
02:18in the world. Like, we laugh all day, joke on each other all day, and it's kind of just
02:25like us. Like, we like a squad. You know what I'm saying? So they're here with me now. I
02:30brought them to New Orleans. I'm like, you can come to work. I love that. You know, listen,
02:33they are here today with me. So that was one thing. And also, I love to entertain. And I kind of had that
02:42lack of being around people. Like, I like to party. You know, I like people to feel good. I
02:47like to make people happy. So I did miss that during quarantine. But found ways to do it. Like,
02:53we would do happy hour FaceTime. You got creative. Exactly. We got creative. We got creative. So
02:58yeah, that was that those are the two things as I like to be around people is really what I really
03:03kind of learned. And you found a way to make that human interaction work. And that worked for you.
03:06Exactly. Dr. Javai, what about you? So I found some other stuff. I found out that I was more
03:12of a businessman than I was a family man. Although I go around speaking about family
03:17all the time. So I actually had to play that role. So when I was at home, I have three little
03:21girls and a wife. And it was tough. You know, I'm a writer. I do emotional health. And I
03:27grade myself on a daily basis, right? So I got five grades. So one is going to be my family.
03:32Zero to 10 every day. Where you at? Like, how was that? And I was at a two, you know, spiritually.
03:37I grade myself every day. Where you at? Did you get up? Did you pray? Did you only do it
03:41once? Did you talk to me like that? You know, number three, education. Did I read?
03:45What did I do? Number four, did I network? You know, and I go all the way through this.
03:49And at the end of the week, if I end up with eight, I'm okay. Right. And I was in and
03:53up with two. So I had to check myself. That was number one thing I learned to check
03:56yourself and be at home first. We just talked about all of us being present. We just all
04:00of us just talked about that. Just be a present at home. And then the second thing I learned
04:03was how much encouragement means to people. Right. Just picking up your phone like, yo, you
04:08okay? Yep. You good? How you doing today? Is there anything I can do for you? Just those
04:12simple things. I learned the impact that they had. So that's what I learned. That's
04:16amazing. And I love that you were being vulnerable about what you learned about yourself, right?
04:21Because we were all pushed to our limits, I think, during this time. And we've all come
04:24out stronger. But I'm going to ask each of you something individually about a unique situation
04:28that you had to encounter. Because I think, like, we've all had different experiences. Like,
04:32Adrienne, your show had to go remote. Yeah. Like, you had to adjust to doing your job
04:36from home. What was that like? And how did you manage the stress?
04:38So I learned that I actually am an introvert. And I just play an extrovert on TV.
04:43Oh. I love that.
04:44So that was the... I was like, oh, I actually enjoy just being on my own and doing things.
04:49And I know for others, it was like, man, I know people were so overseeing the boxes on
04:53television. But to be honest, it was a really enjoyable experience for me. My husband became
04:58my executive producer. He was my PA. He was head of sound, you know.
05:03He was on the job. My mom was the craft table. She was making me three meals a day.
05:08And I actually enjoyed it. And I know that that's very different for some people. Some
05:12people felt like they missed being around people. I didn't.
05:16You loved it, didn't you? Every second. I did. I loved it. And I loved the remote
05:19part of it because it allowed us to just log off. And I think we talked about that. We were hanging
05:24out prior to this. And we were discussing how sometimes it is hard to log off from our phones
05:29because our phones continue to be work for us at home. And being able to be virtual doing the
05:35real, it actually allowed me to just log off. When those cameras were shut off, I actually got to
05:40spend real quality present time with my family. Lights out, lights out. Exactly. That's big.
05:45Cut it off. I love that. I think I'm a secret introvert, too.
05:48Damn. Like, yeah, you are a very successful black female entrepreneur. We all know the brand,
05:53FBF. Like, seriously. I've been trying. I was telling her, y'all, a seriously true story. I was like,
05:58how do I get some? It's always sold out. I was trying to get the inside scoop, right?
06:02Yes. I gave it to you.
06:04You did. She did. But you had to, I'm sure all entrepreneurs had to pivot during the pandemic.
06:08Absolutely. And some were, you know, some found more success. But even in that case,
06:12you had to have more product, right? With more sales. So talk about what it was like being an
06:15entrepreneur during that time and how you manage that stress. So for FBF, our main product prior to
06:21the pandemic was shapewear, right? And then the pandemic hit and nobody was going outside. So you
06:28don't need to be snatched if you're staying in the house.
06:30In the kitchen. No snatch in the kitchen.
06:32You don't need to be snatched. You don't need to be put together. People hardly wanted to put on
06:35clothes, right? So we had to pivot. Exactly. And so we created our everyday legging and our everyday
06:42set. Now we had already introduced leggings prior to the pandemic, but during the pandemic is when
06:47they really, really hit because people were home. They were doing Zoom calls, Zoom work. So it's like,
06:53you know, party at the top, party at the bottom, business at the top. And so people wanted to be
06:57comfortable. And so for us, it was like, bam, we got these leggings and I'm telling you, they are the
07:03best leggings in the world. FBFbody.com. You will not regret it. I swear to God. But that's what
07:10happened. People had their leggings, they had their sets and they were like, yo, this is the most
07:16comfortable thing I have ever put on my body. And so business kind of like skyrocketed during the
07:22pandemic. But also we had to shut down our warehouse because I got COVID right before Black
07:27Friday. Nobody knew. So, you know, Black Friday is the biggest shopping day of the year for any
07:32business. And I literally got COVID on November 16th. So we had to shut down our warehouse. We had
07:39to sanitize our warehouse and do all of that. And nobody knew, like none of my customers knew,
07:43nobody knew, but we kept going. Thank God for my staff, everybody, you know, planning staff coming
07:49and strategically, oh, we can only have three people in here. We can only have three people at
07:53night. But we made it happen. We made it happen. You got to pivot so that you can prosper. And I'm
08:00like, this is that was my thing for 2020 is that you have to be able to pivot so that you can prosper.
08:05I love that. Not hold on to, you know, something that you thought was set in stone. So true. And be
08:11able to be like, you know what, we got to change it up. And I love that you also embraced what everyone
08:15was feeling, which was wanting to be more comfortable. Exactly. That's why we wanted
08:18those leggings. Exactly. That's why we lived in them. Exactly. Exactly. Well, congrats to you
08:22for pivoting and, you know, getting through all of that. Thank you. Yeah. Dr. Javai, what about
08:27you managing stress? Like you said, your personal and your professional seem to have collided and it
08:32was a lot for you. Yeah, so. How did you work through it? Teach us. So. What's that show that
08:38should be about? Sometimes, because, let me back up. The one way I really manage, I will,
08:43you know what, because they help somebody. So one way I really managed stress was to listen
08:47to my wife, right? So I was, last week, I was in Beverly Hills filming and I was moving
08:53around. I'm FaceTiming her all the time, you know, trying to see, because, you know, I'm
08:56a family guy. And she's like, stop. And I was like, she's like, sit your butt down. And
09:03I was just like, and she never says that to me. So I was like, she said, get a massage.
09:08And when the massage is over with, call me back and tell me how you feel. And before you do
09:12that, go get some tea, some hot water, some honey and chill. So, you know how you talk
09:18to your, when you're, you're, I don't want to call it your mate, when you're, I call her
09:21my soul mate. And she is so fine. Anyway, when she says something to me like that, it's almost
09:27like you hear a different voice, you know? So it was like, just do what she said. And
09:31I did that and it relaxed everything. I was just telling you, you was asking me about massages.
09:35Like my first massage was there. So that was one way I dealt with it. And the other way I dealt
09:39with it was to ask for help. You know, like, like I speak all over. I do emotional health.
09:45My big thing is triple threat. So your thoughts, your triggers and your trauma. That's what
09:49I'll talk to you about. What's your first thought that is negative, that stays in your
09:53mind that you can't get rid of. Let's talk about that. What triggers you, you know, what
09:57takes you from zero to 10? And then the bigger question is who knows, right? So then after
10:01you figure it out, trauma, everybody got an event. What's your event? And you may not want to
10:05share it, which is cool, but write it down. We got to get it out. So that's what I started to do
10:09to myself. And so everything that I did for people, I did for myself and I'm doing for
10:14myself and just being a bigger ear to my wife. Last time I was home, you said, be real. I'll
10:19tell you, I was just home two, three days ago. She goes, look, man, sometimes when you're gone,
10:25you're here, but when you're here, you're gone. So then I, so I have to take that, right? Because
10:31I want to have a good night. Right. I hear that. I hear that. Well, shout out to all the
10:35honest partners out there who's, you know, ground us. Yeah. But even with him saying,
10:39listen to your wife, it's if you don't have a wife, it's listen to the people that love
10:43you and see you. Yes, yes, yes. And listen to the ones. Sometimes there's things going
10:46on in your life that you may not even recognize. You're out here being a busy body in Beverly Hills
10:50and you may not even notice it, but it takes someone that loves you to tell you, hey,
10:55chill out, sit down, have a moment. So that's, that's a word. That's a cool word. And speaking
11:01of resetting, let's talk about resetting, right? Because life can come at us. You know,
11:05sometimes you set out to have a good day and it goes left. It happens. Or sometimes like
11:09really horrible things happen and you have to work through them. We're all human. But when
11:12you need to reset, how have you all found that you can just say, okay, you know what? I'm going
11:16to pause. I'm going to reset and I'm going to start over because we all have to learn how to do
11:19that. I was like, tell me, how has that worked out for you? We literally talked about all of
11:23this. So y'all just had the whole interview. We had the whole interview at lunch earlier. But you
11:29know, I was telling them earlier, like I watch TV. And so for me, when I get stressed and I have a lot
11:36of work to do and I have deadlines, it's kind of like, I like to escape by binge watching like a TV
11:42show. Like right now I'm watching Living Single. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, I like
11:47something that's upbeat, funny, and I can escape my life for like an hour, two hours and not have
11:56to worry about what is going on and literally reset. And I feel better because he asked me,
12:01how do you feel when you do that? And I said, I feel good. Like when I'll get done watching a show
12:06and I'm like, okay, I'm done. And then I'm like, okay, now I can get up and I can go to work and I
12:11can restart. But that little bit of time where I can kind of escape and live in other people's lives
12:16is a reset for me. I love that. And Adrienne, what about you in terms of resetting? How do you
12:21level? I think that's when I realized I just might be an introvert. For me, I reset by being alone.
12:27I really do need just time alone. I recognize that I require some sort of schedule. And because I think
12:35life can be so out of control sometimes that you need some structure. So I recognize that I need
12:40structure in my life. I can be all over the place. So I need structure. I need alone time. And during that
12:46alone time, kind of mapping out exactly what it is that I want to do. I don't know about anybody
12:50else. Anybody write lists? Yes, I love lists. I need lists. I am a list. So that's how I reset.
12:57I literally will spend time alone. I will bring structure to my life. I will put a list together.
13:03Okay, this is what I'm going to do. If I even set out to say, this is my day alone. This is how it's
13:07going to go. I'm going to wake up at this time. I'm going to work out. I'm going to do things for me.
13:11I know this sounds crazy, but I know so many of us feel tied up by constantly doing things for
13:17others. And you find yourself doing events and commitments and everything is for other
13:22people. But what are you doing for yourself? What is the thing that you actually want to do today?
13:27I've been wanting to go to some bookstore that had opened up in the new little neighborhood that
13:30I'm living in. And I'm like, when I get back home, I'm actually going to take a day and I'm going to do
13:35the little things that I want to do for me. So spending time alone, writing a list, spending
13:40time alone, writing a list about all the things I want to do to give my life some structure.
13:45I love that. Because I don't, like you said, even list writers, like a lot of us, I know I'm one of
13:49them. I don't write a Charlie list, but you have an Adrian list. You're like, okay, this is what I
13:53need. All right, let's talk about our circles and our tribe, right? Because they can hold us down
13:59or sometimes they can bring us down if we don't choose wisely. And I don't think we talk about
14:03like who's our circle and who's around us as self-care enough. Absolutely. So talk about
14:09your circles, your tribes, and how you decide who belongs in them. So what I'll do is, and
14:14this is a challenge for all of y'all, because this is big. This is big. Y'all should do this
14:17for real. Think about the top five people you spend the most time with, right? For real.
14:21And after you do that, here go the questions though, but here go the questions. Here we go.
14:25Think of the top five people you spend the most time with, right? What's their benefit?
14:29What's your benefit? How long you been doing it?
14:33Who got to go?
14:34Mm-hmm. And what's five?
14:36I have to get rid of somebody who's not five?
14:38Why?
14:38Y'all ask me what I'll do.
14:39Oh.
14:40This is what I do. You don't have to. But here's the thing. Remember, you got a circle,
14:44right?
14:44Right.
14:45And if nobody in your circle is challenging you, you don't have a circle, you have a cage.
14:49Ooh.
14:50So who's holding you back? And if somebody's in there, somebody's in there, and what's their
14:54benefit? Really look at it like, I'm hanging out.
14:56What if everybody's benefiting you?
14:57If everybody's benefiting you, then I feel like I need somebody else.
15:01What's next? Everything is evolving, right? So people like to stay stuck. And this is
15:06big. People love you so much, they want you to stay right where you're at.
15:10Absolutely.
15:10So when you start growing, people are like, hmm, hmm, and they start that, that whispering.
15:14And that's where I agree with you at, where you say that how you kind of come back and
15:18reset is, you got to be alone. And people don't like that. You know? And I pray. You
15:23know what I'm saying? That's me. I got to be alone, and I got to pray so he can download
15:26me so I can feed the people. That's what, that's me.
15:29I love that. I love that totally. It's like, what about you? What do you, how do you choose
15:31your tribe?
15:33Ooh, I have several tribes.
15:35Oh, I like that.
15:36So, you know, we were talking about this. I went to boarding school, and so I have like
15:40different groups of friends. And so I have the friends that are in business. I have my
15:45friends who are married. I have my friends who I know I can call to go to brunch or vacation
15:49with. So I think you have to know the people in your life. Yes. You know? Every circle
15:56isn't for everything. Everybody ain't for everything. You know what I'm saying? Say it
15:59again. Say it again. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you love them less. Yeah. That just
16:03means that this person might not be the business person. This person might be your vacay person.
16:08You know, this person might be the person that you can call and go pray with. Different
16:12lane. You know what I'm saying? That's real. Absolutely. So for me, I just make sure I know
16:16how to identify the people in my life and where they belong in my life. They don't necessarily
16:21have to go, but I know that they're going to be in a certain situation, in a certain
16:25place. And sometimes if they can't fit in any of those, then they do have to go. That's
16:29how you know. You know? Then they do have to go. That's a great way to look at it.
16:33Yeah. Because there's different buckets. But I can't say I just have like five. Like
16:36this circle might have five. This circle might have three. This circle might have six. You
16:40get what I'm saying? It's a lot of love around you. But exactly. I do. Fortunately, I do have
16:44a lot of love around me, a lot of friends around me. Because people always say, I wish
16:48I had friends like you. I wish I had friends like you. Because a lot of people don't have
16:51friends. And me and my friends talk about this all the time. Some people don't have
16:55good girlfriends. That can hold them down. Good boys. Good people that they can talk
16:58to and confide in. Like a lot of people don't have that. So I'm extremely blessed to be like,
17:03oh, I got like five group of friends, child. And when it all comes down to it, we can all
17:08come together. You get what I'm saying? And like bring all my friends together when it's really
17:13important for me, of course. And you're right. It is a blessing. And we shouldn't take it
17:16for granted to have people holding you down in that way. Multiple people. Multiple people.
17:21And Adrian, who holds you down? How do you do that? The people that, I love this saying.
17:26It's kind of like what one of you guys just said. But I want to find people in my life
17:29that give me wings, not bring me weight. So I think when you think about that, like
17:33who brings you, who gives you wings and who brings weight and burdens to your life?
17:38So I surround myself with people that love me, that know me. But most importantly,
17:42I know this sounds weird, but don't feel high maintenance. I always want to be that low
17:49maintenance friend. And I always seek out low maintenance friends that like, if I called
17:53you, great. If I didn't call you, that's great, too.
17:56We pick up right where we left off. And I know so many of us during the pandemic felt pressured
18:02to do so many things. You were like, this is my third baby shower, virtual baby shower.
18:08That's my third virtual happy hour. And you are happy houred out. And you're like,
18:13I don't want to. Yes. And I keep people around me who I can say no to.
18:18And be okay with that. And they don't make me feel bad about it.
18:20They love you. And that's what it is for me. Like, that is so important to me.
18:24There was something else. Also, I think just finding people who also bring out the best in you,
18:31who allow you to be who you genuinely are. And they love that. And they find the good
18:38in you, even if it's like quirky things that you don't love about yourself.
18:40The weirdness.
18:41Yeah. I want to be able to be weird around people.
18:44I love it. It's great to be weird around people.
18:46Absolutely.
18:46That's part of self-care.
18:47Be yourself around your people.
18:48Exactly.
18:49But the thing about being weird, I always tell these kids this, the necessity to be just
18:52like everyone else makes you invisible.
18:54Oh, the necessity to be like everyone else makes you invisible. You fade away. Where
19:01you at? Where'd you go?
19:03I love that you have a system for everything, the way you look at it. That's interesting.
19:08Tell my wife that.
19:10She's like, this is how I see it. Five friends, five this, three steps.
19:14Because she's probably tired of the five things.
19:18That's why she sets it down. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
19:21For real, though. For real.
19:21No, but okay. But seriously, my last question, and I think this is a powerful one. We've
19:26all learned so much, but we often think about our younger selves, our past selves, right?
19:31And it's always something we want to just go back and whisper in her or his ear, right?
19:35And just say, you know what? I wish I could have told you this. And tell me what that
19:39is and how it really applies to how you love yourself now.
19:43Who wants to start? Because I know that was a tough one.
19:45I'll start.
19:46Okay.
19:47For me, my younger self, I would just let her know that she is enough.
19:51A lot of women, I work with women, and I work with young girls, and I was a teacher
19:57for over a decade. And what I know, what I know, is that young girls do not love themselves.
20:04Grown women don't love themselves.
20:05I love it.
20:06You know, I used to do a project called the I Love Her Project. And the first part of the
20:11project is I would ask girls to write down the top ten things that they love about themselves.
20:16And every time, they would start with everything they didn't like about themselves.
20:22And I'm like, no, homegirl.
20:23I said, what do you love about yourself?
20:26But that's where women go to. That's where young girls go to.
20:29And so we have to continually pour into each other and pour into ourselves.
20:34So if I would be able to tell my young self, and this is what I pour into my daughter all
20:38the time, you know, I'm like, you fly, you cute. I hype her up as much as you're smart.
20:42You fly, you cute.
20:43Exactly.
20:44You are everything, you know, and I want her to know that she is everything. And nobody can
20:49bring you down when you have high self-esteem. But unfortunately, a lot of women don't have
20:55high enough self-esteem or self-love. And so a lot of problems that we face in relationships,
21:01jobs, and everything else all come down to whether or not we love ourselves enough.
21:05You know, because if we don't love ourselves, we let people take advantage of us.
21:08We let people talk to us crazy. You know, we don't go and do the things that we think
21:14we can do in our head because of fear and feeling unworthy. So, you know, you are enough.
21:20Beautifully put. Beautifully put. What about you?
21:24That was good.
21:25It was right.
21:26So what I would say to my younger self is eliminate distractions earlier and just know
21:34that you're a king, right? Just like you. You're a king, right? But nobody told me that
21:38until, like, two years ago. And after they told me that, everything changed. Like, I'm
21:42the best, period. Ain't nobody better than me. When I drop this mic, you're going to want
21:45some more. End of discussion. Everybody. And when I start thinking like that, it pumped
21:49me up to a whole other level. Not being cocky, but just being confident in who God made
21:54me, right? I'm a king and I got to spread that message. And that's what changed everything
21:58for me. And I will whisper that to every young man's ear. You're a king.
22:02Like, you are responsible for something. You're not just here. Like, we all kings. You're
22:07responsible for something. I don't know what that something is, but go find that. Because
22:11ain't nobody that's going to tell you you're a king. Nobody. And ain't nobody better than
22:14you. And people get upset with me all the time because I tell them I'm the best. Ain't
22:17nobody better than me. And they look at me like, that's because they feel some type of
22:20way. And you should. When you walk in the room, they should feel something. When you walk
22:24in the room, they should feel something. When you walk in the room king, they should feel
22:27something. And that's they problem. That's what I feel. There we go. I hear that. I was
22:32going to follow up with something similar in the sense of that you are uniquely you and
22:37that is your superpower. Yes. And I used to go on a lot of auditions when I was younger
22:42and my mom would be like, listen, A, there's always going to be somebody in that room auditioning
22:47that's prettier than you. These are the facts, the reality that's maybe more educated than
22:53I am, that's smarter, that has more, you know, that has more energy than I do, whatever it
22:59is you could think of that's younger. We can always come up with reasons and things that
23:03we're not enough. Right. But nobody is going to be you. And what is for you is yours. Like
23:09what God has in store for you and your life will be for you. Nobody can take it from you. So
23:14stop competing with other people. It is yours. If it is yours, it is yours. The same way that
23:19I would walk into audition. I auditioned for a movie for us to be a volleyball player. I
23:23am 4'11". Somebody tell me why the casting director chose me. It was an MTV movie with
23:30Sierra. Sierra's like six feet tall. I'm 4'11". But it was for me. And it was taller people
23:37than me. And that's the point. But what's for you is for you. Even if it doesn't make any
23:42sense to anyone else, that was an opportunity that got placed in front of me. And I was
23:45so grateful to be a part of that. So that was the one thing I was gonna say. And then
23:48the other one really, really quickly. Please, please. Is I forgot what it was. But I was
23:55I was gonna say that it was pretty much the you are enough. That's what it was. Yeah. It'll come
24:02back. It'll come back. You are enough. That's it. But I just love that you all are emphasizing
24:05there's room for everyone to shine and be great. Absolutely. Always. We don't say that to each
24:10other enough. There's so much competition on social media. Listen. You know, and everything
24:14that we see on our feeds and on our televisions, it's encouraging us to compete. And that's hard
24:18on people's mental health. Yeah. But what I can also say is, with that being said, when
24:23you see people like myself and Adrian and Jafar sitting here, you know, it's possible.
24:30So a lot of times people don't see possibility. And so that's why there's competition. That's
24:36why there's jealousy. But for me, when I look at people, I'm like, yo, you can make 25 million
24:42dollars doing this. Oh, it's possible. I can do that. It's possible. It is possible.
24:47To me, it is possible. That's right. Absolutely. And I see possibility when I see people doing
24:53things that I might want to do. Not jealousy. Not jealousy. But I'm so excited for them
24:58because they're proof that it is possible. That is such a great way to shift your perspective
25:03on things that instead of looking at people and being envious or saying, man, why did they
25:07get that opportunity and why didn't look at them and say, oh, my gosh, they got that opportunity.
25:11There's an opportunity out there for me as well. It is possible. See the possibility in
25:16it. Exactly. Because I'm sure somebody else who was short was like, I can audition for
25:19a volleyball game. Yo, you can, you too, you too can win a volleyball game against Ciara.
25:264-11. Go get them, girl.
25:27It is possible.
25:29You guys, thank you for holding space for such an important conversation. I will commit the
25:35guide in a few moments. Because we can talk about it. Yeah. So true. I mean, we're getting
25:39there, but we still have to keep having these conversations. Absolutely. You know, thank
25:42you for coming to do it with Essence. Thank you for having me. Thanks for having me. Appreciate it.
25:46And just, you know, tell everybody where they can find you to keep hearing these gems.
25:50This one looks smooth, though. Do you remember? I feel like it's there. I did remember. I did
25:54remember. Self-discipline is the greatest form of self-love. And I realize now, looking back,
26:02had I been more disciplined in the things that I wanted to do, that would have been the greatest
26:06form of love. Because I would have achieved everything I ever wanted to. So it's simple
26:11things. Like, whether it is, you know, working out. It sounds dumb. But like, every time I was
26:15putting something in my mouth that later on, I'd be like, oh, I don't like this about my
26:18body. Self-discipline is the greatest form of self-love. So I wish I had learned that so
26:25much sooner in my life.
26:26And it's so true. And like you were saying, we commit to other people. We commit to everything
26:31else. And we often forget to commit to ourselves. Yeah. Well, thank you all for the time, for
26:36holding the space, for this important conversation, to talk about mental health, truly, and honestly,
26:41and taking care of our minds, our bodies, our soul. And just tell everybody where they
26:44can find you.
26:45You can find me everywhere.
26:46She's ready.
26:48FBF Body, fbfbody.com.
26:51So y'all don't get mad at me, but I'm getting better at social media. So Facebook, which nobody
26:56does no more, is Javar Godfrey. Javar Godfrey, God, G-O-D, freeze, F-R-E-Y, because he does,
27:05he freeze. That's me. All of them.
27:08At Adrian Bailone on all social media platforms, Twitter, Instagram, all that good stuff.
27:13I'm going to say that one day. One day, I'm going to say that.
27:14You've got to do it when you get home. Just set it all up. Just set it all up. Join Instagram.
27:19I have it, but I just don't. We'll talk about it after the show.
27:21We need these gems. They need to be easily shareable, repostable.
27:25Exactly.
27:25There we go.
27:26Seriously. But thank you all so, so much.
27:28Thank you, Charlie.
27:29And you all keep watching for more from Essence Fest Live from NOLA. Bye, guys.
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