00:00Going into marriage, is your kind of your outlook on it, how much has it changed from when you were married the first time?
00:07You were saying, you know, how you felt about being a submissive partner and things of that nature.
00:13Going into this marriage, how do you look at how you want to go about being a wife this time around?
00:18Oh, my God. So my big. How do I want to say that? I took a lot of pride in being a good wife.
00:32I took a lot of pride in being able to be a powerful woman and being submissive to my husband at the time.
00:39And I always said afterwards that I know God. I even said this to men afterwards who wasn't quite treating me right.
00:46I said, you know what? It's cool because I know my blessing is coming.
00:50I know the right man for me is coming because I was a good wife when he gave it to me before.
00:55So just like they say in the Bible, I was a good steward over this. I'm a good steward over many.
01:01So I knew that because I was a prayerful wife, because I was the type of wife that I was and I, you know, didn't run in bad situations or cheat and all that.
01:13I knew that God was going to bless me eventually with the right man.
01:17So if it didn't feel right, I would automatically tell men, you know, this don't this ain't for me because I know God won't want me to be over here crying like this.
01:25I know God won't want me to be in this kind of pain. So clearly this relationship isn't the right one for me.
01:31So when it comes to me being submissive to my husband, I'm not going to change that.
01:36I'm just going to change who I'm submissive to. It has to be someone deserving, someone who understands what their power is and their power is given to them through God.
01:48And through me as a wife, through me as a wife, how I treat you as a husband is how he's going to treat me as a wife.
01:55So back in the day, I didn't understand what I was. I didn't understand what I had been given.
02:01I was playing a role, which was OK, because I had to go through that to get to where I am today.
02:08But back then I was giving it all to a man.
02:13And the way that I was being submissive was to throw away everything that Portia was, to kill off Portia, literally.
02:22And as you see in the book, it talks in detail about how that happened.
02:25But I literally killed her off. And that's not what's supposed to happen in this.
02:30In my new relationship, I am Portia. I am I am more Portia than I've ever been.
02:36And I'm taking her into the marriage. And as I choose to reverend my husband, choose to uplift him, choose to, you know, go to him and inquire about something before I make a decision.
02:47That's out of respect. And that's OK, because he's the right person to do that with.
02:51And he's not going to misuse it. And I think that a lot of women know early on in a relationship because of some red flags that I ignored all through the book.
03:00It's about I should have called a red flags, red flags all through all through there that I ignored because I had this mission of being this wife.
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