00:00And I did want to ask you, you know, you mentioned when you started to show, you know, you were married and you had a different perspective on how marriage was supposed to be, how a housewife was supposed to carry herself.
00:10I did want to ask you, how did you cope in those early days of juggling this marriage that was kind of struggling based on what I read in the book?
00:17With the lack of understanding, you know, that you were getting from people online, you know, about some, you know, things you would say, like you were saying, you know, you would be nervous and certain things would be said and they would be magnified.
00:27And people would kind of come negatively at you on social media.
00:30So with misunderstanding in your home life and also, you know, on TV, I kind of wondered, how did you deal with that?
00:37Like, how did you, how did that, you know, permeate maybe your, your thoughts or your mind back then?
00:43So in my mindset and being a wife, I was very set on being a submissive, pleasing wife to my husband.
00:52So you have to understand when I joined the show, I wasn't necessarily doing anything for the cameras.
00:59The cameras just showed who I was at that time.
01:04So when it came to me being submissive to my husband or talking to my husband about any decision I wanted to make first and people were calling in control and all of that was confusing to me.
01:18All of that was like, wait, what are you guys seeing? That's not what I thought I was showing you.
01:22I thought I was showing you a young black family who is finding their way, who hopes to have more children one day.
01:28Like I thought I was showing something completely different.
01:31So it affected me looking at those comments and all that, like, wow, what am I really, truly projecting on this show?
01:41That was just one small piece of the puzzle.
01:45But as a married woman in the very beginning, how I dealt with it was just simply through prayer.
01:50You know, it's not easy for anyone in the first year of marriage.
01:54I know you have heard it before and it wasn't easy for us either.
01:59And my mother literally was like, listen, you're married to two people.
02:05Your covenant is with two people.
02:07It's with your husband and it's with God.
02:09And during those times when I was disappointed by him or the situation or things weren't picture perfect, how I want it or how they need it to be, she told me to pray about it.
02:22So I literally prayed my way through those tough times in my marriage.
02:27Unfortunately, we didn't make it because clearly that's not what was supposed to happen for God for me.
02:32So it's not necessarily.
02:34So that's kind of what it was.
02:36I was dealing with my real life and I was dealing with whatever you guys saw and how you guys took what you saw on TV.
Comments