00:00Hello and welcome to the Essence Wellness House. My name is Dr. Javar Godfrey and I come to you
00:06today to talk to you about something that's very very alarming which people will say and it's also
00:11something that we don't often get to talk about not in an instance like this but before I start
00:16I gotta tell you where I start and I always start my family. So as you see on the screen these are
00:21the Godfrey's and these are the reason I really come to give this message out because they're
00:26going to be here when we're no longer here and that's a big fact. And so now I'll go really into
00:32you. I always start with an emotional health check-in. Do me a favor for a second. Let's take
00:38control of time for a second. Let's take time. We're gonna take time and I want you to think about how
00:43you really feel today. What's going on with you? Anything stressing you out? Anything making you
00:48very happy? What is it? Just think about it for a second. Anything you need to get rid of? I don't
00:54know what you're thankful for. Think about it. And I want to come to you and tell you that thoughts,
01:01triggers, and trauma are the three things that I came up with after working so long in the school
01:08system, working so long with so many different districts, corporations, NBA, Nike, Pepsi, all of
01:16them. You come to one thing and that's triple threat which is your thoughts, your triggers, and your
01:21trauma. But I want you to know it didn't all start with you. You see, parents who have dealt with
01:26trauma sometimes pass trauma not only down to their children but to their grandchildren as well. And
01:32that's why we have to start talking about the thoughts. Now see, the average person has 60,000
01:37thoughts per day, 80% of which are negative. 95% are copy and pasted from the day before. Let me ask you a
01:45question. What's the newest thoughts you've had? Now keep in mind a quick quote I always want you to
01:52remember when thinking about what you think about. If what you say about me means more to me than what
01:58I say about me, I have a problem. You're going to have to rewind this later because we don't have time
02:04to do it again, but I'm hurry up. If what you say about me means more to me than what I say about me,
02:10I got a problem. So a conversation to help your thoughts too, start to use words to strengthen
02:15your imagination. Like, I can, I will, I must. It's going to happen. And then ask yourself, what
02:22negative thoughts do I have on a continual basis and start to move them thoughts out? How about
02:27your triggers? What sets you off? What sends you to 10? Do you know? And if you do know, who have you
02:34talked to about it? That's what's very important. Share your triggers so you don't have to share
02:38trauma again and again and again. If you look to the side, I've given you a list of questions to
02:43ask yourself every week. Ask yourself these questions. Who or what makes me feel like? And
02:52try to stay on the right side of this. Try to stay on the right side of this. Make a choice. You have
02:57permission. Give yourself permission to not hang out with people that don't make you feel good.
03:02And permission to hang out with people that do make you feel good. That's what you do. Give yourself
03:06permission. And now when it comes to trauma, I mean, listen, the easiest way to get your needs
03:11met is to say them. And a lot of times as men, it's hard to say it. But I'm telling you right now,
03:16the trauma you dealt with is just going to continue to move and tie to a whole generation until we say,
03:22hey, you know what? I got a problem. Because it's hard to label anything that's nameless or faceless.
03:28Whatever you dealt with, whatever you dealing with, you got room to fix. We got room to fix.
03:33Last but not least, I want to talk to you about three more things just really, really quick. And
03:38I call it the sad news because we oftentimes don't get to talk about it. But it's the saddest thing
03:42going on in our community right now. And we start with suicide. Every 40 seconds, someone's out of
03:47here. I come to tell you, you are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. We out here for you.
03:54You're not the only one hurting. You're not the only one feeling like that. Anxiety is the next letter.
03:59Use it to help you. Anxiety can come to help. It's just telling you that your needs have needs.
04:06Your needs have needs. Depression. I feel you. I remember one of my clients said to me,
04:11say, living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that strives to die. You can't tell
04:18them how they feel. Stop judging them. Get them some help. Get them some help. But guess what? As men,
04:23we got to be willing to take that help and ask for help and accept help. And last but not least,
04:27I have to talk about this. Because you can't see it. You can't smell it. You can't touch it.
04:34And it's killing us every day. I have some young men, not too older or younger than me,
04:39both sides of the fence to pass away from this. Stress. It's a silent killer. It is.
04:45Stressed out. And we're doing it to ourselves. And I'm asking that we start to think about what we
04:49think about when we're stressed out. Start to breathe. And you see these things on the screen is what I
04:56really feel like we can do. It's very simple. Create a safe space like Essence is doing. This
05:00is a safe space. Talk. Listen. Cope. Share.
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