00:00Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow. I don't even have to reclaim my time in here. Like, I feel like y'all
00:10just gonna give me my time. I mean, first, I gotta thank God because it's interesting. People ask me,
00:26how does it feel? You know, are you surprised? And I say, no, I'm not surprised because God saw this
00:35all along. So I'm grateful. That's what I am, a space of gratitude. I just want to thank everyone
00:45involved in this amazing honor. It means the world to me that you would take time out of your very
00:51busy schedules to say such kind words about me. I'm deeply grateful. Thank you so much. Thank
00:57you, Essence, for providing a space for us to have what I like to call a family reunion mixed with
01:04church, mixed with fellowship, mixed with a head nod to the ancestors. This event never fails to
01:12refill my cup. This magazine is much more than pictures of pretty black women with complicated
01:20smiles. Articles about how to find a God-fearing black man and ads for cocoa butter and pink lotion.
01:40It was a life jacket for a single mother raising two little black girls in the South Side of Chicago.
01:46It was a how-to guide on how to be a black queen, even when America tries to convince us our crowns
01:51are imaginary. Thank you, Essence, for seeing the God in us. I want to thank my chosen family,
01:59most of whom are here with me today, sitting at table 17, which I think is a wink from God because
02:03I'm born on May 17. I can't thank you all enough for not only cheering me on, but for lifting me up.
02:10I promise to always be here to return the favor. I also like to take this time to thank my other family,
02:17the one I was born into. I'm grateful that my household was full of a lot of busy black women
02:24who couldn't monitor everything I watched or read.
02:30So I read the autobiography of Malcolm X and saw Love Jones when I was far too young to understand their
02:37cultural significance, and I was hypnotized by Spike Lee's stream of consciousness,
02:41otherwise known as a film called Do the Right Thing.
02:44I'm grateful to those women for punishing me when I misbehaved.
02:48Often that punishment was not being allowed to watch the newest episode of A Different World.
02:54I'd like to take this time to thank you, A Different World, for teaching me how to dream.
02:59Thank you for doing episodes about apartheid.
03:02Thank you for being the first show to show the world that AIDS is not a moral judgment.
03:08Thank you for having Whitley and Dwayne decide to have their honeymoon in L.A.
03:11right around the time when the Rodney King verdict was being handed down.
03:16Thank you for doing a wonderful episode called Mammy Dearest,
03:19which was about colorism within the African American community.
03:23Thank you for teaching me that I'm a voice in this world and I deserve to be heard.
03:28But most of all, thank you for helping me realize I was a little lesbian in training.
03:38I'll admit it.
03:40I had a huge crush on Whitley Gilbert.
03:43Then Kimberly Reese.
03:45And then I realized I wanted to marry Freddie Brooks.
03:48Which I low-key feel like I'm about to do,
03:51because my fiancée, Alana Mayo,
03:53spends more time thinking about how to make the world a better place
03:56and she does think about anything else.
03:59I love you with my whole body.
04:01And every day I thank God that I get to walk through this thing called life with you.
04:06And I'm glad I can do that.
04:08Profess my love to the love of my life.
04:11Out loud.
04:13In front of all of you.
04:15Who knew that in 2018 that would still be considered a revolutionary act?
04:20So many of our black, gay, lesbian, queer, and trans foremothers and forefathers
04:26and those that never felt comfortable with either gender had to hide.
04:31They made sure not to look at each other too long in the cotton fields.
04:35They were forced to hide in plain sight at the March on Washington,
04:38even though they were the brains behind it.
04:41They had to prevent their truth from bleeding onto the typewriters
04:45when they wrote about what it meant to be black and human in Harlem in the 1920s.
04:49When they were killed by homophobic hands,
04:52they tried not to scream too loud
04:53as to not bring shame or embarrassment to their families or their race.
04:57Even in death, they hid.
05:01Hiding.
05:02They were forced to hide with hopes that one day we wouldn't have to.
05:08And now look at us.
05:10Still hiding.
05:11Hiding because we don't want to lose an endorsement deal.
05:17Hiding because we want to be normal.
05:21Hiding because we don't want to make white folks feel uneasy.
05:25But most of all, hiding because we don't want to make our own people feel uncomfortable.
05:30Being born gay, black, and female is not a revolutionary act.
05:35Being proud to be a gay, black, female is.
05:38The Thanksgiving episode was more than just an episode of television.
05:51It was my testimony.
05:53And if I was busy hiding,
05:55I wouldn't have time to become the first black woman
05:58to win an Emmy for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series.
06:00If I was busy hiding,
06:06I wouldn't be standing here before you today.
06:10If I was still hiding,
06:11I would be a shell of a human being.
06:14There would be a vacant look in my eyes
06:15and a melancholy in my spirit.
06:18I realize that it's not just my job to make art,
06:22but it's my job to be a light at the end of the tunnel
06:24for those other little lesbians in training,
06:26sitting in a small town,
06:29wondering what life will be like for them when they come of age.
06:32It's my responsibility to care more about their well-being than my bank account.
06:37It's my job to show them that not only is it completely normal
06:41to be gay or bi or trans or non-binary,
06:43but it is a gift from God.
06:46It means that when he made us,
06:47he made sure to give us a thicker skin.
06:49It means he knew we had the strength to bear a heavier cross than everyone else.
06:55One of my favorite movies as a kid was The Wizard of Oz,
06:58No Shade to the Wiz.
07:07But I would watch that movie every day as a child.
07:11And there's this moment in the movie
07:13when Dorothy's presence interrupts the peace in Oz,
07:18which forces all the munchkins to go run and hide.
07:24So Glenda the Good Witch tells him in a very soothing voice
07:27to stop hiding.
07:31She tells him to come out.
07:34Come out.
07:35Wherever you are,
07:37don't be afraid.
07:38It's interesting how things you hear as a kid
07:42take on a whole new meaning when you're an adult.
07:45Her words still ring loudly in my ears,
07:48especially today.
07:51So I ask those of you
07:52that are still hiding
07:54to come out.
07:57Come out.
07:58Wherever you are,
08:00please don't be afraid.
08:03And I hope that you know
08:04that I'm here
08:05to hold your hand
08:07whenever you decide
08:08to jump into this wonderful pool of people
08:10who refuse to be hidden.
08:14The water is warm.
08:17I want to thank you, Essence,
08:18for honoring me with this Vanguard Award.
08:21I will cherish it for the rest of my days,
08:23just as I will cherish
08:24every single person in this room.
08:27I love you all,
08:28and God bless.
08:30All right.
08:31Thank you, Applications.
08:32Thank you,USEC.
08:32Thank you,
08:33I love you,
08:34all right.
08:36I love you,
08:36all right?
08:37Thank you,
08:45for out there.
08:49Bye.
08:49Bye.
08:51Bye.
08:51Bye.
08:54Bye.
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