- 8 months ago
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Rev Run and Tyrese school us on better dating, LHHNY star Tara Wallace stops by to dish on her newly announced pregnancy and exclusively reveals if it's a boy or girl, we have a special edition of #SlayedorShade ft. Marlon Wayans and more!
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00:00Today on Essence Live, our Happy New You series continues with tips for better dating in the
00:10new year with our special guests, Rev Run and Tyrese. Plus, we have an exclusive interview
00:16with Tara Wallace from Love & Hip Hop New York. I know y'all can't wait for that. And
00:20she's got some big news to share. But right now, it's the hot list. The biggest stories
00:24you're buzzing about today.
00:30Stephen Colbert got a lesson on Black Lives Matter, Martin Luther King Jr., and white
00:34privilege when DeRay McKesson came on his show this last week. The late night host even let
00:39the activists interview him. Watch.
00:41Why do you think white people are uncomfortable talking about race?
00:43Well, I can't speak for other white people.
00:45Okay.
00:46I feel guilty for anyone who does not have the things I have. And that includes, you know,
00:54black people or anyone because I am so blessed that I think there's always the fear that it
00:59will be taken from you.
01:00And then what can you do to manage that guilt? Like, what have you found?
01:03I drink a fair amount.
01:05You drink?
01:09Three lawsuits have been filed over the Flint water crisis. Those suits are seeking individual
01:13damages for the over 500 residents who say they are suffering health issues because of
01:17the city's poisoned tap water. In a State of the State speech Wednesday, Michigan Governor
01:22Rick Snyder admitted that the state had, quote, failed the city's residence.
01:28Hashtag Oscar so white. You know the hashtag well for calling out the lack of nominations
01:33for people of color at the Academy Awards. But now the backlash to the backlash has begun
01:38with everyone from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air actress Janet Hubert to Whoopi Goldberg chiming in.
01:42So, what do you say? Should black actors and directors boycott this year's ceremony? Should
01:48Chris Rock still host the event knowing many of his peers haven't been acknowledged? And
01:52what in the world is Stacey Dash talking about? Get your Twitter fingers ready because we're
01:56taking on all things Oscar and the return of Slade or Shade next. It's Thursday, January 21st
02:02and Essence Live starts now.
02:11Per the usual, we have an exciting show lined up for you. And of course, I want to hear from
02:16you. Hit us up on social media using the hashtag Essence Live to join the conversation. And if
02:20you'd like to call in live to ask questions of our celebrity guests, you can just email us
02:24at Essence Live at Essence.com for details. All right. Slade or Shade, one of my favorite segments
02:30is making its 2016 debut. And what better way to start things off than with a little Oscar
02:34drama. Before we get started, for those of you who are new to Essence Live, let me fill
02:38you in on how Slade or Shade works. Our fabulous panelists weigh in on trendy topics and let
02:42us know if they're slaying those topics or if they're throwing some shade. Joining me today,
02:46we have actor, comedian, and star of Fifty Shades of Black in theaters January 29th, Marlon Wayans.
02:51Welcome. Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm good. I'm glad to be here. Thank you so much for joining
02:57us. So, in light of all this Oscar drama, and of course, you have your new
02:59film coming out. We've been talking a lot about black roles, and we started the hashtag
03:04BlackRolesMatter here at Essence. So, what are your thoughts? What black roles? Well, that's
03:08what I want to ask you right now. So, what are your thoughts on the, I guess, lack of options
03:13in Hollywood for black actors and actresses? It's been there since the beginning of Hollywood.
03:18And the only way to change it is, you know, I think my brother always said, you don't knock
03:23on the door and ask people to open it up in Hollywood. You kick it off the hinges and you
03:28make your way in. And so, for myself, and, you know, every time you have an obstacle,
03:34I always think about the objective, which is to produce more movies to give us more opportunity.
03:39So, I write, produce, and create roles for myself and other African-Americans. I've done one a year
03:45for the past three years. I'm going to step it up and do three a year, and eventually I'm going to do
03:4910 a year, and some of them are going to be of the cloth that people will look at and go, you know,
03:55work these young filmmakers that understand cinematography, and we're going to speak in the
03:59language of Oscars, and we're going to get those movies done, get those movies made, and we're going
04:03to get the appropriate amount of attention that we need. Right now, we don't get enough, but we don't
04:07have enough budgets. It's not just about the academy. It's about the coin. It's about the coin. You can't
04:11make, can't make Oscar-worthy movies a lot of times with no budget, you know. Understandable. Revenant was made
04:16for $150 million, maybe, you know. Crazy. Yeah, and all, the brownest thing in that was the bear.
04:22And so, you know. And that was a good bear. Yeah. The bear should have got nominated. If they were to
04:27nominate the bear, I think brothers would have been, you know, that's cool. That's cool. I'm going to
04:30boycott because the bear did, they got the bear. It's a black bear. The bear did his thing. But, you know,
04:36I think what we have to do is, you know, sometimes it's, you know, it's take and, and, and let it
04:43motivate you and inspire you to do more. I don't, I'm not, I don't want them to give me a consolation
04:49prize. Right. But here you go. I don't want them to create, and best black actor goes to role. Right.
04:54I don't call me a black actor. I am an actor. An actor. And we don't have enough of those roles,
04:58so let's create more of those roles. In Hollywood, how about you give us the budget to do that?
05:02And audience, how about we all show up and we support these movies because a lot of times we
05:07complain, but yet we sit in our seat over the weekend and we don't support our film. So,
05:12everybody out there, come support and this way, because it's, Hollywood's not about black and
05:17white. Hollywood is about green. So, why don't we support our own, make sure we make the green,
05:23because once we make the green, we can make more movies and then we won't have these discussions.
05:27Yep. Well, Marlon just didn't drop the mic. I don't even know what else we're going to talk about
05:30on Slate of Shades. Next up, we have our entertainment director, Ms. Corey Murray. Thank you for
05:35joining us again. Thank you, Dana. And back for another round two, we have lastly joining us,
05:40second time comedian, Carrie Cadet. How are you? I'm pretty good. Thanks for having me. Thank you
05:44so much for coming back. All right. So, we're going to jump right into it. As we mentioned in
05:47today's hot list, this year's Oscar nominations were released just about a week ago and it got
05:51Hollywood in all a tizzy. On MLK Day, Jada Pinkett Smith released a video addressing the academy
05:56overlooking people of color in major categories. Well, Jada's video got Aunt Viv all upset, y'all,
06:01and Janet Hubert did a clap back of her own. Take a look.
06:04Girlfriend, there's a lot of going on in the world that you all don't seem to recognize. People are
06:13dying. Our boys are being shot left and right. People are hungry. People are starving. People are
06:19trying to pay bills. And you're talking about some actors in Oscars. And it just ain't that deep.
06:28I seem to remember at option time coming to you and saying, you know what, Will? You're the star of
06:32the show. Why don't we all get together and with you, maybe we could get a little raise. Maybe the
06:38network, since, you know, the show is such a hit and you being the star of the show, your influence
06:43will help us greatly like they did on Friends, like white shows do. Remember that? Do you remember
06:48that? Because I do. Hmm. And your response to me was, my deal is my deal and y'all deal is y'all deal.
06:57Someone's reliving. Someone's reliving. Also, Jada's hubby Will Smith is on Good Morning America
07:05today. And here's what he had to say. You know, I was happy to be married to that woman,
07:11but I appreciated the push. There is a position that we hold in this community. And if we're not
07:21a part of the solution, we're part of the problem. And this is so deeply not about me. This is about
07:31children that are going to sit down and they're going to watch this show and
07:39they're not going to see themselves represented.
07:44All right. So the Smiths versus Aunt Viv, who is slaying this Oscar drama? And who are we going
07:50to shade? All right, Carrie, I'm gonna start with you. What's your verdict? Oh, I want to go half
07:55and half on it. I want to hate it. A slishé. Well, a slishé. Well, I, I like, I love Aunt Viv. Like,
08:02I just love her. I love Janet Hubert. So like, I live for her. I don't necessarily agree with
08:06everything that she said. I think some of that was like 20 year old gripes. It's like, he was 10 at the
08:11time. Are you serious? Like, don't hold me accountable for decisions that I made when I
08:15was 10 years old. But, um, and she was like, it's deeper than that. And I see her point. But I think
08:19that you can be outraged over the Oscars and the lack of diversity and still be outraged over the
08:25things that plague black Americans every day. So I don't think it's one or the other. I think the
08:29bigger conversation that people need to be having is why we are not supporting black owned businesses,
08:33black owned things, black owned movies. Just like he said, we're not going out on opening night
08:38supporting black movies. In Jada's video, she was like, you know, we need to do our own. We
08:42have been doing it. We have had the NAACP awards. We have had the Soul Train awards. You have just
08:48not showed up. So how about we show up to the Soul Train awards and all of our other awards and
08:53take care of ourselves before we run down the Oscars and say that, you know, we don't need them to
08:58validate us, but we don't even care about our own stuff. That's all. Slay. Corey? I, okay. I'm
09:03going to give a slay to Janet Hubert. Okay. Because what I love about Janet Hubert's video
09:08is the fact that she said the stuff that we all say in our kitchen. You know, she said
09:12it from her kitchen. Well, that's, that is true. You know what I mean? But it was all the
09:19things we were thinking because I, I mean, I appreciate Jan, I mean, Jada's honesty, but
09:24there was a little part of me that felt like, yo, I don't know if we would have made this video
09:27of Will got nominated. Exactly. You know what I mean? I'm saying she sound like an angry wife. Like, no, my baby's in this thing. That was the best performance yet since Ali. All the babies cried. Even Willow. Willow cried. You know this means something. I'm calling the Academy. Put Oscar on the phone. Find Mr. Oscar and let us talk. So is that a slay? A shay? What you got? What you got? What you got? Where you at? I'm kind of happy to have it. What the sign say? What the sign say? What the sign say? What the sign say? What the sign say? What the sign say? I'm with her. I'm like slay.
09:57Oh, Lord. Because here's why. Because first of all, you know, it's a sensitive topic for me for so many reasons. One, I want to say that they did support Jada and Will. And you know, they're two huge figments in the black community. They have supported. They went to the BET award and they actually hosted. Which was awesome. And awesome. That's right. That's true.
10:14So, you know, and I know Jada and Jada stands by what she means. And she's, you know, she's a firecracker. Jada feel it. She's going to say it. And, you know, you can't hush her up. You try to, you let Will try and say, shut up. No, you shut up. Let me pull my gown up.
10:28Now we have to move on. Now we have to move on. You can't say it. But, but I will say it. No, no, no. We really have to move on. I'm going to move to Cermar. You do Will. I'm not. Fine. I'm not. Fine. I'm not.
10:46Anyway, so Chris Rock, he's this year's host, he's caught in the middle, like I'm caught in the middle with Marlon over here.
11:00When the nominations were released, Rock did tweet that the Oscars were the white BET Awards, but has since been quiet.
11:06The actor-singer Tyrese Gibson has been vocal about wanting Rock to step down from his hosting duties.
11:10Take a look at what he said.
11:11You know, Chris Rock is the host of the Academy Awards.
11:17And so to boycott him seems just as bad as what everybody's saying.
11:24See, because to me, no, you don't have to clap, you don't have to clap, it's okay.
11:29Because we have this conversation every year and it pisses me off.
11:32And it pisses me off because there are people, you know, there's not a lot of support for little companies who make movies that may be more diverse than everything else.
11:42That was actually Whoopi Goldberg coming to you from The View so quickly, I need to get your verdicts.
11:46I'm going to say, when did Tyrese get dressed?
11:47I know, right?
11:48Well, things can happen.
11:49But quickly, I need your, are you going to slay or Shay?
11:52I, I just need one word.
11:54I'm shading, you're shading you.
11:56Tyrese, for that ridiculous thing, let Chris Rock host, let him speak his truth from that pulpit.
12:00Guys, I'm slaying Whoopi for saying what she's saying.
12:03Let Chris Rock host, you know he's going to turn the hell out of that host.
12:06Yep, Marlon, give me two words, Marlon, give me two words.
12:09I'm going to slay, slay's a good thing, right?
12:12Yes.
12:13I want to take Whoopi on what she said because I don't think it's fair to put Chris Rock in the hot seat.
12:18That brother has a job to do, ain't nobody going to help him with his lawyer bills when he pulls out of that.
12:22Oh, true.
12:22That is a very good point.
12:23I wanted to make sure we had time to get to this last one.
12:25Stacey Dash, who unfortunately hasn't gotten her black card revoked yet, was on Fox's red.
12:32Sit down, brother.
12:33Sit down.
12:34We got the last one.
12:35We got the last one.
12:36Oh, it's Stacey.
12:37She owns something.
12:38Well, I'm going to show you.
12:39Take a look at what she had to say.
12:41Go ahead, Stacey.
12:42We have to make up our minds.
12:44Either we want to have segregation or integration.
12:47And if we don't want segregation, then we need to get rid of channels like BET and the BET awards and the Image Awards,
12:54where you're only awarded if you're black.
12:57If it were the other way around, we would be up in arms.
13:00It's a double standard.
13:02Just like there shouldn't be a Black History Month.
13:04You know, we're Americans.
13:06Period.
13:07That's it.
13:08I know we can all talk about this at length, but we have a little amount of time.
13:11Quickly.
13:12Slay the shade.
13:12Shade!
13:14Shade!
13:15Corey, you're going to be the mama eye.
13:16I see it.
13:17Shade, shade, shade.
13:18But a slave for the haircut.
13:20The bob.
13:21Insane.
13:21Insane.
13:22Okay.
13:22I'm like nothing on her.
13:23Nothing.
13:24Carlin?
13:24Talk to me.
13:25I love Stacey.
13:26She did more money with me.
13:27I remember when she was...
13:28Can you call her and take her card?
13:29Before she was a Republican, she was cool.
13:32I will say that she's like someone painted Donald Trump black and gave him a vagina.
13:38It's just the weirdest thing.
13:39And a swoop bag.
13:40And a swoop bag.
13:41It's like, shh, shh, shh.
13:43If he relaxed his hair down, Donald Trump, and...
13:46Because Stacey, I love her, but girl...
13:48What are you doing?
13:49Black History Month.
13:50Oh, we've been through this real Black History Month.
13:52It's already a choice.
13:52She said, if it was the other way around.
13:54It is the other way around, and that's the answer to it.
13:57That's why we have these things.
13:59Y'all have to come back.
14:00Girl, bye.
14:00Even you, Marlon.
14:01You're allowed to come back.
14:02I appreciate it.
14:02You're welcome.
14:03Thank you so much.
14:04Coming up, Rev.
14:05Run and Tyrese, help us decode man behavior to help you improve your dating life in the
14:09Happy New Year series.
14:11But first, ladies, have you ever wondered what goes on in the mind of a celibate man?
14:14No.
14:16Well, we sat down with the worth-the-weight guy, Jim Dre Westbrook, to find out.
14:20So, what's the no-fly zone on a date for you?
14:25How far are you going to go on a woman and how far does she go on you?
14:29Well, my no-fly zone, Virginia, is there can be touch so you know that I'm there, that
14:34I am present.
14:36Maybe a little kiss, but other than that, you know, we can't do nothing else.
14:40So, how do you keep him tamed?
14:44Like, what do you do when you have urges?
14:46Anytime that I feel that I need a release, there's a lot of prayer.
14:51There's a lot of thought.
14:52There is temptation.
14:54He's a part of me, you know, and I want to make sure that I keep it under control.
14:59Have you ever almost slipped up?
15:01I haven't almost ever slipped up, but I've been in situations that it's looking like it's
15:06about to be Netflix and chill.
15:08However, I think that I've always been saved because I've always dealt with women who understood
15:13my situation.
15:15If I was doing this thing on my own, I would have tricked it off a long time ago.
15:21Okay.
15:21Do you watch porn?
15:23I try to stay away from anything that could possibly tempt me, that could possibly take
15:28me down.
15:28I'm not perfect.
15:29I am a human being.
15:31I was young before, and I have watched that.
15:34But in terms of my day-to-day lifestyle, I don't watch porn.
15:39What if the love of your life isn't a virgin?
15:40Is that a deal breaker?
15:42I want a woman that's real, a woman that's comfortable with herself.
15:46So for me, it doesn't matter if she's a virgin or not, how many partners.
15:50Like, I'm not going to play the numbers game.
15:52I want her for her.
16:04Every single outfit was amazing.
16:07I think it was really out of the box, everything that we shot today.
16:11Something that I hadn't done before, so it was exciting to experiment.
16:14My beauty role model is Tracy Ellis Ross, my favorite and only TV madre.
16:24She is such an inspiration because just seeing her on a daily basis, she has embraced her
16:30natural beauty.
16:32And whenever she puts on makeup, it's from a place of empowerment.
16:35And it's from a place of, this is what I want to do with my face today, not from a place
16:38of covering anything up.
16:39And she really just accentuates her own futures when she does put on makeup.
16:43And it's really inspiring to see as a young actress, but just as a young lady, somebody
16:48who's so empowered in who they are.
16:50Black girl magic for me is one, just a way of expressing how fabulous women of color are.
16:56Just look around you because there's plenty of black girl magic around you.
17:00And recognize all of the magic that has been set forth in front of us.
17:04Embrace who you are.
17:05I mean, oftentimes we feel as though beauty standards aren't meant for us.
17:09They are meant for the majority culture.
17:12So just understand that you are beautiful in your own way.
17:15And it's not about looking like that person or looking like that celebrity, but looking
17:19like you and being so happy that you look like yourself.
17:29Welcome back to Essence Live.
17:31I'm your host, Dana Blair.
17:32And all month long, we've been celebrating a happy new youth.
17:35So far, we've introduced you to fun fitness routines and helped you revamp your closets.
17:39But today, it's all about better dating strategies for my single ladies.
17:42And I can't think of two better men to share some tips than my next guest.
17:45Please welcome to the show, Rev Run and Tyrese.
17:47Welcome.
17:48What's happening?
17:49Hey.
17:49You look fabulous.
17:50Thank you so much for joining us.
17:51We have to clean it up, especially for this time.
17:53Oh, is that what's going on?
17:55It's going to be some stuff.
17:56You're going to do some stuff?
17:57I know.
17:59I'll go through that too.
18:00Before we get into the love advice, Rev, congrats to you and Run DNC on your Grammy Lifetime
18:05Achievement Award.
18:07I'm very...
18:07How does it feel?
18:08It feels like I'm 51.
18:13And we made hits over the years.
18:16And I feel very rewarded that people have honored the artistry that me, Dee, and Jam Master J.
18:24It was his birthday today, who passed.
18:26And so rest in peace to Jay, and I'm sure he's very proud.
18:30So there's a lot of talk about the Oscar controversy and nominations.
18:33Why do you feel like the Grammys in that organization is so much further along than the Oscars?
18:38I don't know the answer on who, what, where, and why with how voting goes.
18:46But this is our first Grammy.
18:47So I'm grateful.
18:49We're the first rappers to get this.
18:51And I really don't understand, you know, if certain people are getting certain Grammys,
18:57certain people are getting certain Oscars.
18:58I just know that I'm happy to believe that Leonardo DiCaprio will get his award.
19:04And the fact that they even reached out to Chris Rock.
19:07So I don't know how it's all going to end.
19:08I've been listening and hearing about the controversy, but I'll just watch it play out.
19:12Okay, so let's talk love.
19:13He's a different man.
19:15Who?
19:15This guy.
19:16This guy.
19:16That was a good answer.
19:17That was a good answer.
19:18He's a really good answer.
19:18Let's talk a little bit about love, which is the whole reason why you guys are here.
19:22You have a new talk show on OWN called It's Not You, It's Men.
19:26So what can women and men expect to learn from this show?
19:29Tyrese?
19:30Well, I just want to say off top that it's very uncomfortable what we're about to do.
19:37Okay.
19:38While other people are doing things for ratings and celebrity gimmicks and all the above,
19:44we actually look forward to folks that may not be celebrities.
19:50Because there's so much that's confusing about life, love, and spirituality.
19:55When, where, how, and with who.
19:57So we don't have all the answers, but we know some stuff.
20:01And you're bringing different perspectives and experiences.
20:03He's married for 21 years.
20:05This is my mentor, a big brother, a spiritual advisor.
20:09I've only been single for like a year and a half.
20:11My last relationship was five years.
20:14But I know some stuff.
20:16I've been through some stuff.
20:17And I feel like what's missing right now is people being willing to have a dialogue.
20:22So just like we're saying.
20:24Honest.
20:24Yeah.
20:24Like real raw.
20:25Yes, definitely.
20:27Ladies, I don't want you to go and get married for the ring or the validation that you're desperate
20:33to get from all of your friends.
20:35Look at me.
20:36I got a ring.
20:37Okay, cool.
20:38You get a ring.
20:39The game just starts.
20:40This is not the Super Bowl.
20:42This is not the NBA championship.
20:43The game is not over.
20:44It just starts.
20:46So when the tents are torn down and the flowers wither away and the horses and carriers that
20:51you rented for the day goes away, you're still with that man.
20:54So how do we get men to open up in the relationships?
20:57I mean, this is a very catchy title.
20:58As far as dialogue and conversation?
21:00So for example, the title suggests it's not us, but it could possibly be the men.
21:05So how do we get them to open up?
21:07I wish the show was called It's Not You, It's Me.
21:09But we added men because we are two men that are the guests.
21:12I mean, the hosts.
21:14But again, you'll see that it's not men giving away all the secrets and throwing men under
21:18the bus trying to appease women.
21:20We're having a real conversation.
21:22You know what I mean?
21:22Like at the end of the day, you know, this is one of the topics that we kind of founded our
21:28friendship on, you know, how can you naturally know how to be something that you were never
21:35raised by?
21:37You've never seen a wife in your house because your mom was never married.
21:41So what do you know about what it takes to be married and have a healthy, happy and functioning
21:46marriage?
21:47Rev specialized it.
21:48That's his world.
21:4921 years.
21:50Right.
21:50You know, I've never had a father.
21:52So when I had my first child, technically speaking, I was winging it, bumping my head,
21:56trying to figure out what it is to be a father because I was never raised by one.
22:00Well, I'm very thankful that you guys are going to have this open dialogue.
22:04And I really do like the setup and the platform of the show, the talk show type of environment
22:09and the various male and female guests that you have.
22:11Here at Essence, women are often writing in about relationships and asking what certain
22:15slang terms and male behaviors mean.
22:18And I want to ask you to, you to, to dissect those for us.
22:22Rev, this one's for you.
22:23Ghosting.
22:24It's like a new thing now when the relationship seems to be going well and the man just disappears.
22:29No text, no goodbye, nothing.
22:31Can you help us kind of understand that behavior?
22:34What is ghosting?
22:34It's called ghosting where the guy, if you're dating and then he just up and disappears.
22:39I know what it is.
22:39No text, no goodbye.
22:40And what's the question about that?
22:42My question is, can you explain this male behavior?
22:44It seems to be something that's very popular and that a lot of our women just disappear.
22:47Just disappear.
22:48Why do they just disappear?
22:50I don't know.
22:51I have no idea.
22:52I haven't disappeared.
22:53Maybe Tyrese knows.
22:54Tyrese?
22:54He doesn't ghost.
22:55And he's been married for 21 years, so anything about dating scene is a little foreign to him
23:00right now.
23:01Well, I mean, so what do you feel people ghost?
23:04Well, first of all, it happens on both sides.
23:07True.
23:08It's not just a male habit.
23:09Mm-hmm.
23:10Um, women can get, find themselves being very excited about a man and intrigued by their
23:15looks, who they are, especially if a man know anything about Jesus, you got a woman
23:20off top.
23:21Mm-hmm.
23:21Um, however, if she feels like she gets all of this stuff out of her system, then she'll
23:28just all of a sudden disappear.
23:30Mm-hmm.
23:31And it happens.
23:32Um, a lot of-
23:32That works both ways.
23:33Yeah, it does.
23:34So a lot of times a man can find himself being aggressive about the chase and the hunt, because
23:40unfortunately in most cases you want one thing, and then once you get it, especially
23:44if it's trash, then you disappear.
23:46Okay.
23:47Well, what about-
23:47Yeah, so if you're 15 dinners in, and then you finally end up getting the sex that you
23:51wanted the first dinner, and the sex is trash, then you disappear.
23:57Okay.
23:57Well, we know a lot of people are going to write in about that one.
23:59What about when a gentleman ends a relationship only to get engaged to someone else immediately
24:03after?
24:04Rev, do you have a take on this?
24:05No, I don't.
24:07I don't understand it.
24:08Like, for me, um, I'm a reverend.
24:11I'm seasoned now.
24:12I've been in ministry for a minute, so I don't understand why a man would get engaged, move
24:20on, and then marry somebody else.
24:22Perhaps he wasn't happy, very simple answer, with that person, and was happy with the next
24:27person.
24:28So, I-
24:29We're talking about when it happens really, really quickly.
24:31I know this is something that we're receiving a lot in our audience.
24:32No, maybe he wasn't happy with her, and he found somebody that he was happy with right
24:35around the corner.
24:36Right.
24:36Well, I think, I think, again, I can't speak for every single situation.
24:42Right.
24:42I don't think this is, like, a phenomenon.
24:44I don't think it's happening every single day.
24:46Mm-hmm.
24:46Um, but I think at the end of the day, uh, a man is gonna propose to who he wants to.
24:51So, you can be five years in, and then he can go meet somebody and feel like, I fell
24:56madly in love.
24:57It was so quick.
24:58It was so fast.
24:59I'm floating up there with the Care Bears, and this is who I want to be with.
25:03Mm-hmm.
25:03It happens.
25:04I mean, there's a, there's a such thing, there's a song from a, a famous, uh, group
25:08called Savage Garden, and the lyrics are, I knew I loved you before I met you.
25:13Mm-hmm.
25:13Right?
25:14So, that means that even before I met you, when we finally met, there was something so
25:20familiar about our vibe and our chemistry.
25:22It felt comfortable.
25:22And it felt so familiar.
25:24I felt like, let me just get through the basics, but I already know you.
25:27Mm-hmm.
25:28I feel so connected to you.
25:29So, it's gonna move quicker.
25:30So, that's it.
25:30So, you can be with somebody for four years and never feel like the relationship is absolute,
25:36and then you meet somebody new, and then it's like, huh, this is it.
25:40That's my answer.
25:42Well, that's fair enough.
25:42Well, thank you so much, gentlemen, both of you for stopping by.
25:45Before we let you go, Tyreef, Taraji, our girl, she just got a golden glow for her work
25:48on Empire.
25:49As far as we know, Taraji is single.
25:52Would you ever date her?
25:53Would I ever date Taraji?
25:54You know, as you can imagine, people love us because of what we did.
26:00Mm-hmm.
26:00As Jodi and Yvette.
26:02Right.
26:02It's iconic.
26:03Anything that Rachel McAdams did with Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, which is my favorite
26:08love movie.
26:10You know, independent of us being together and being good friends, I look at her, and
26:16I think she's very amazing and special, but I don't really know what that chemistry is
26:21independent of the movie set.
26:23That's fair enough.
26:23We both have never tried to go there either, but it could be interesting.
26:27I mean, I do love her and I do know her, but she's got a very big personality, and I do
26:32too, and I feel like when you get in a relationship, you can cancel each other out.
26:37That's fair enough.
26:37It has nothing to do with her success versus mine.
26:39She just has a, she's a Virgo, she's loud, she's aggressive, and I'm big, and I'm aggressive,
26:44and I need a woman that's got a soft voice, and her voice doesn't even go above a certain
26:49octave.
26:50Well, thank you both of you for coming by and sharing your dating wisdom.
26:54You can catch Rev Run and Tyrese on It's Not You, It's Men, premiering this Saturday
26:57at 9 p.m.
26:58Can I ask one thing before you go, or are we out of time?
27:01Really quickly.
27:01Okay, listen, can y'all do me a favor?
27:04I want you to send text messages and emails to all of your friends, everybody you know,
27:09and other than tuning in to watch the show on Saturday, January 23rd at 9 p.m., we want
27:14you to have a discussion about the entire show with 10 of 15 of your friends, men
27:19and women, single and married, in your living room, because if we don't spark a
27:23dialogue, we've missed the mark completely.
27:26That's what I'm asking.
27:26Well, there we go.
27:27So you hear it right there from Tyrese.
27:29Up next, an exclusive interview with Tara Wallace of Love and Hip Hop New York.
27:32Stick around, but first, if you haven't signed up for an Empower You course with
27:35Devon Franklin and Megan Good, what are you waiting for?
27:38Go to Essence.com, The Wait, to register for this life-changing course on finding love
27:42through celibacy.
27:44You're supposed to go first, babe.
27:47You're supposed to go first.
27:48Hey, what's up?
27:49I'm Devon Franklin.
27:50Hi, I'm Megan Good Franklin.
27:52We're really excited.
27:53We have some amazing things to share with you about.
27:55The Wait.
27:56We have a new book out called The Wait.
27:58It's the powerful practice for finding the life you love and the love of your life.
28:01What about slowing down?
28:03What about taking your time?
28:05What about waiting instead of rushing?
28:08Yeah, what about delaying gratification to get what you really want out of life?
28:12Not just in your relationships, but in every area of your life.
28:16I got her, after all, brothers, right?
28:18So, come on.
28:18It worked.
28:20And you're watching...
28:21Essence Live.
28:21I knew you'd call me for that 10% of the devil girls.
28:33I hoped it wouldn't take half a year.
28:36I guess it wasn't as valuable to me as you thought.
28:40Or it's valuable enough that you need it now.
28:43Terrence and I have the inside track on buying the devils.
28:52We need all the assets we can get.
28:58You don't believe we get on the team?
29:02I don't believe what's on your finger.
29:06Is it what I think it is?
29:08We're engaged.
29:09Yelena, that's wonderful.
29:14Yes.
29:15So, getting back to the important thing.
29:16This is the important thing.
29:18You weren't going to tell me?
29:20We haven't announced it yet.
29:22I'm your mother.
29:23I don't need it announced.
29:24I need to be part of it.
29:26That's not going to happen.
29:33You like deals.
29:35I got one for you.
29:36We can talk about the 10% while we plan one thing for the wedding tomorrow.
29:45And I get to choose what it is.
29:51Hit the floor.
29:53Mondays at 10.
29:54Only on VH1.
29:57You are watching Essence Live, and I'm your host, Dana Blair.
30:00That was an exclusive sneak peek of the new season of the VH1 show, Hit the Floor.
30:04And speaking of hit shows, I'm joined now by a woman you love to watch and tweet about
30:08every Monday night, Ms. Tara Wallace from Love & Hip Hop New York.
30:12Welcome to the show.
30:13Oh, thank you.
30:13Thanks for having me.
30:14Thank you so much for joining us.
30:16We have lots and lots to talk about.
30:18Uh-oh.
30:18I'm just going to go ahead and go straight into it.
30:20Okay.
30:21Last episode, you announced that you were pregnant.
30:23Yes.
30:23And congratulations.
30:25Although you can't see it with my shirt, but it's there.
30:27You look absolutely adorable.
30:28The bump is here.
30:29How far along are you?
30:29I'm very far along.
30:31We only have a few weeks left.
30:32Really, for like technically any day now, any moment.
30:34Well, you know, I have this like little pact with God that the baby has to stay in at least
30:3740 weeks.
30:38Okay.
30:38So we're still like, you know, not quite 40 weeks.
30:41So he has to stay in there.
30:42He?
30:42It's a boy?
30:43I wasn't supposed to say that, but he has to stay in there for 40 weeks.
30:46So it is a boy?
30:47It is a boy.
30:47Have you picked a name?
30:48I have picked a name.
30:49Are you going to share?
30:50We're not going to share.
30:51I got to, since I just like snuck the sex out, you'll have to wait for the day.
30:55I'll take that.
30:55I'll take that.
30:56So since the show launched, Love & Hip Hop New York, or since you were introduced to
31:01the show, you've been in Love Triangle with Peter and Amina.
31:05On the last episode, once you announced that you were pregnant and we saw also that Amina
31:10had a pregnancy, did you know immediately, okay, I'm going to go through with this pregnancy?
31:16Were you kind of waiting to see what Amina was going to do?
31:19What was going on at that time in your life?
31:21Let me just say, like, there's nothing that goes on in Amina's life that I wait to see
31:25before I make decisions.
31:26Okay.
31:27When I did find out that she was pregnant, it was around the closer to the time that
31:32I probably found out that I was pregnant, so that was a big blow.
31:37I'm like, how am I going to do with this?
31:38Right.
31:38So I kind of, I didn't really tell anybody.
31:41I was just trying to see what I was going to do, how I was feeling, and how I was going
31:46to cope with this, how I was going to start telling my family, how I was going to tell
31:50my children, and even how I was going to tell Peter, because it's a blow, you know what
31:54I mean?
31:54That was a big deal.
31:56It's a back and forth between the two of you.
31:58What is it about Peter?
31:59Is it that good?
32:00Let's talk about it.
32:01What is it about him?
32:03Well, the thing that we always miss out of all of this is because we're just dealing with
32:08this, like, downward effect of when everything came out.
32:11We've missed 13 years of a relationship that people just seemed to think that I was struggling
32:16and I was just, woe is me, and I was in this terrible relationship, but we actually had
32:20a lot of fun.
32:21We had many great years.
32:24One thing that I always talk about is, like, Peter and I dated for seven years.
32:27We didn't have our first argument until probably, our first real argument until I got pregnant
32:31with our first son, and we had been dating seven years at that point.
32:34And it was just a lot of fun.
32:36I think he's very charismatic.
32:38I think there are a lot of elements about him that we don't get to see because of this
32:42terrible name, Creep Squad, and how he's kind of...
32:46Do you feel like he's poorly portrayed?
32:48I do think that certain aspects of who he is, who he is as a musician, who he is, you know,
32:54his personality, the fact that he's very loving and caring, I think that those things, you
32:59know, we only get a few minutes per episode, so you can't see everything, so those things
33:04just kind of get, you know, washed away.
33:06And it just looks like, okay, here he goes again doing this, or he's doing that, so those
33:11things do get a little bit washed out.
33:13So knowing that he has an outside relationship, why not protect yourself?
33:20Well, at that time, you know, when I originally, this happened, was at a time where he's like,
33:28he, they were, they were, he was moving out, they were breaking up, and that's kind of where
33:33all of the, I mean, moving closer to him, because we had a couple of business ventures
33:38that we still wanted to embark upon, that we didn't really get to see this season, and
33:42that was where that all came from.
33:44It wasn't just, oh, I'm moving here for you to be closer to the kids.
33:47Because it's, you're here to help with the kids, because we have this thing that we need
33:50to get done.
33:52And I, you know, if you want this to get done efficiently, then you need to, like, this would
33:57help.
33:58Right.
33:58And so he, that was kind of his idea, like, I'm willing to do this to make it easier,
34:02if you're willing to do this, so that we can get these business ventures done.
34:06And that's kind of where, where all of that came from.
34:09Oh, the whole move in the end.
34:10Yes, it wasn't just, okay, let's move here to be closer to the kids.
34:13Right.
34:13No, it was, there was something that we had been talking about for a long time, and we
34:17didn't see it this season, unfortunately, because it's that much work that has to go
34:20into it.
34:21And then once all the craziness happened, I was like, oh, no.
34:24No, can't do this.
34:24No, no, no, I tried again.
34:26So, to me, from the previous season, the biggest blow is when you found out that Amina had
34:30married Peter.
34:32Right, two seasons ago.
34:33Yes, two seasons ago.
34:34So, were, are you jealous of the fact that he married her?
34:38Absolutely not.
34:38After y'all's history?
34:40No, I wasn't jealous of the fact that he married her, because everybody keeps under this misconception
34:43that my, my life begins, or the be and end all is me being married.
34:48That was never, that's, that's never who I've been anyway.
34:51But it seems like a huge slap in the face, though.
34:53It does, but, you know, there's so many elements of that that we can't really talk about that
34:57I keep secret just because that's just who I am.
35:00And I think the misconception is that he proposed to her one day and, and they got married and,
35:05you know.
35:05It's a fairy tale or something.
35:06Right.
35:07I mean, Peter and I, the very first year of his marriage, we still live together.
35:10Wow.
35:10In the same house.
35:11Mm-hmm.
35:12Up until I, up until I moved, I left his things there.
35:17Until you moved forward.
35:18I moved on.
35:18Now, if he were to divorce Amina, and I'm not sure if that has or has not happened,
35:23and he wanted to marry you and propose to you, what would you say?
35:26I would say you need to do a lot of work on yourself right now.
35:28So you're not totally closed off to it?
35:30No, I would, no, it's not that I'm, I'm not totally closed off to it.
35:33I think that this is still a part of my journey of moving on.
35:37Mm-hmm.
35:37Um, did I have a moment of where I still love this man, and I feel like I don't owe
35:41anybody anything after, you can't, you know, cheat at a game and then get angry when someone
35:46decides to cheat the same way you have, if we're playing a game.
35:49That's a fair enough analogy.
35:50So you can't say, okay, well, now I'm here, and, and I know I went about this wrong, but
35:53now everything has to be right so that I'm protected.
35:56No, if you, if these are, if this is the hint that you've been dealt, then you have to be
36:01prepared for someone else to play the same game.
36:03Mm-hmm.
36:03And it's not, and I, and I, game is a poor choice of words because,
36:07it's not a game, it is our real life, but because of the way, yes, but the way, but
36:13because of the way everything happened, then I have the freedom to say, you know what, I
36:18still love him, and to, and today, this is the day that I'm going to show him.
36:22Do you get along with the other mothers of the children?
36:24Um, I get along with pretty much all of them except for one, you know, um, uh, there was
36:29like some, obviously like tension there, and I've talked about this before, it was on,
36:33you know, um, uh, but, um, in terms of like the children, like my children can see all
36:40of, you know, they're around all of their siblings, I'm not like, oh no, my child can't go and
36:44be with those children, it's like, whatever, if you're picking up the kids and they're going
36:48to be with their siblings, whatever.
36:49So what's next for you?
36:51How are you going to continue to move forward?
36:53Um, and are you going to go back to Peter?
36:56Like, what is your status now?
36:57Um, Peter and I are co-parenting.
36:59Co-parenting, okay.
37:00Yes, and, and I have to laugh at that because that's like always like the phrase, but that's
37:04really what it is.
37:05Um, we are still co-parenting.
37:07And what's next for you?
37:07Um, and what's next for me is, and all of this craziness and this journey has been me developing
37:13a relationship with my inner self, and out of that came a book.
37:17Um, uh, The Goddess Potential, which will be available in the next four weeks.
37:22Okay.
37:22And, um, it's just, so that's what's next for me.
37:26Completing those projects.
37:27Um, obviously, new, a newborn.
37:32Because, you know, like I'm really nervous about having number three.
37:35That's a lot of multitasking.
37:36That's a lot of making sure that people have enough time and attention.
37:40That's a lot of like making sure that I'm okay.
37:42Like, am I going to have time to get my nails done?
37:44Can I just go get a coffee?
37:45Right.
37:45So it's, it's a lot of that.
37:47And then with Peter not living in the house, I mean, he's, he's there a lot.
37:50And that's a lot of trying to manage, like when I can get out and making sure, you know,
37:54the sit is there.
37:55And it's just all of like balance.
37:57And that's the biggest concern for me, balancing and trying to do it well.
38:01Thank you so very much for taking the time and sit and chat with us here at Essence Live.
38:04Oh, thank you.
38:05Congratulations with you and the newborn baby.
38:07A healthy remainder of your pregnancy and birth.
38:09And congratulations on the book as well.
38:11Oh, I appreciate that.
38:12And thanks to all of you and today's guests.
38:13Of course, our wonderful viewers streaming us live next week.
38:16Our final happy new you installment focuses on building wealth in 2016.
38:20I'm your host, Dana Blair, and I'll see you next week.
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