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On this week’s episode, Teyonah Parris stops by to give us details behind her upcoming Miki Howard biopic, Common dishes on new music and his ESSENCE Festival performance, panelists Charli Penn, Abiola Abrams and Tony Anderson give summer love advice
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00:01Today on Essence Live, Tiana Paris is in the building, and she's taking your questions live on Facebook.
00:07I freestyle battle with Essence Festival performer Common.
00:11A money and violence star explains how she balances acting and teaching.
00:16Our love and relationship experts are here to help you meet your new boo, and plus a special performance from rising R&B star Drew Vision.
00:24But right now, it's the hot list, the biggest stories you're buzzing about today.
00:30Now, did you hear what Snoop Dogg said?
00:36The rapper may have been drinking just a little bit too much gin and juice when he posted this video statement to Instagram about the remake of Roots.
00:44They're gonna just keep beating that in our heads of how they did us, huh?
00:50I mean, I don't understand America.
00:52They just want to keep showing the abuse that we took hundreds and hundreds of years ago.
00:56But guess what? We taking the same abuse.
00:58Think about that part.
01:02When y'all gonna make a motherfucking series about the success that black folks is having?
01:06The only success we have is Roots and 12 Years a Slave and shit like that, huh?
01:11Fuck y'all, I ain't watching that shit.
01:12And I advise you motherfuckers that's real fuckers like myself, fuck them television shows.
01:16Well, damn, Snoop, tell us how you really feel.
01:20But if you won't speak about it, you should be about it.
01:22What you putting out there?
01:23Anyway, what do you think?
01:25Are you over all of the slave movies like Snoop?
01:28Or are you, your grandmama, and your kids all glued to the couch watching Roots?
01:32We're live on Facebook, so let us know in the comments section or use the hashtag Essence Live.
01:41Listen, we are just as tired of Stacey Das news as you are.
01:44But since she's finally given us some insight into her crazy, thinking we're gonna talk about it.
01:49Just a little bit.
01:50Just this one time.
01:50All right, roll with me on this one.
01:52In a new memoir, the actress and Fox News commentator finally explains those BET and Black History Month comments
01:58and says she became such a staunch conservative due in part to her rough upbringing,
02:03being raped at a young age, and past drug addiction.
02:06She told People Magazine,
02:07Hmm, all right, this is interesting.
02:24Do you agree with Stacey, or is her black car revert forever?
02:33Okay, Essence Live, let's be honest.
02:34How many of you were shocked when you found out the mother of the boy
02:38who fell into the gorilla habitat at the Cincinnati Zoo was black?
02:43And the story just keeps going.
02:44A witness at the zoo said she heard the boy ask his mother if he could go into the water beforehand.
02:49And although countless wildlife experts have said the zoo made the right decision
02:52by killing the gorilla to protect the boy,
02:55people are still coming for the mother on social media.
02:58Now, the parents are under review by the Cincinnati police,
03:00and for some reason, the Daily Mail mentioned the father's criminal past
03:04and their story of the incident.
03:05I'm not really sure what that has to do with anything.
03:08But anyway, let's talk about it.
03:09We're live on Facebook and Essence.com,
03:11and we, of course, want your comments.
03:13It's Thursday, June 2nd, and Essence Live starts now.
03:25Welcome to Essence Live.
03:26I'm your host, Dana Blair.
03:28Hey, Facebook fam.
03:30If this is your first time with us, welcome to the best damn digital talk show around.
03:33You can watch us every Thursday at 4 p.m. Eastern on Essence.com,
03:37and now on Facebook, too.
03:39I'm going to talk with actress Tiana Parrish shortly,
03:41but first, I want to hear from you.
03:43Hit us up on social media anytime using the hashtag Essence Live
03:46or email us at Essence Live at Essence.com
03:49if you ever want to call us in the show.
03:51All right, so we are live on Facebook,
03:54and my girl Kayla is back in studio.
03:56Hey, Kayla.
03:57Hey.
03:57All right, we had a lot of hot things going on in that hot list.
04:02What are the folks saying on Facebook?
04:04A couple of things.
04:05People are letting Stacey Dash have it.
04:07Denise Brown on Facebook said,
04:09Girl, you're a day late and a dollar short with this clarification.
04:12Your black card is permanently revoked,
04:14must have fallen on hard times,
04:15and want to come back with us.
04:17Denied.
04:18Jackie Green Mathis says,
04:19Essence, why the hell are you putting this woman
04:20who hates her brown skin in your stories?
04:22No, just no.
04:24Okay, well, day late and a dollar short.
04:27Well, I mean, I guess any explanation is better than no explanation.
04:32True.
04:32I don't know.
04:32True, true.
04:33Anybody say anything on Snoop Dogg or the gorilla versus the mom story?
04:37Yes.
04:37People are sort of confused.
04:39They don't really know where he's coming from now with that comment.
04:42But we have one person here who says,
04:44Interesting, unfortunately, there are many people,
04:47black and white, who fail to understand what slavery involved.
04:50For instance, good old Ben Carson said,
04:52slavery was a good thing for blacks.
04:53Shaking my head.
04:56I must have missed that Ben Carson moment.
04:59Okay.
04:59That's what he said.
05:00All right.
05:00Did anyone say anything about the mother being black
05:02made them more sympathetic to her?
05:04Or was it just like the shocker for everyone?
05:05Because when I saw that, my mouth was like,
05:07I don't know what to say.
05:08Definitely.
05:09Lots of comments on Twitter regarding the mom
05:12and people not really being supportive on at zero dark 26.
05:16The gorilla didn't look like he would harm the child.
05:18Bad parenting on the mom.
05:19Watch your children closely, especially in public.
05:22The truth teller, you all really need to stop.
05:24Just because people wish the gorilla didn't have to be killed
05:26does not mean that they care more about it.
05:29Okay.
05:30All right.
05:31Understandable.
05:32All right.
05:33So I'm going to be checking back in with you, Kayla.
05:35Okay.
05:35In just a few more moments.
05:36Now in studio with me is a woman who we all absolutely love.
05:40Joining us back on the sofas, if you will.
05:43You know her from Chirac, Survivor's Remorse,
05:45and her recent debut as an Essence cover girl.
05:47But her latest role has her playing real-life R&B diva,
05:51Mickey Howard, in a new TV One movie.
05:53Social media fam, get your questions ready
05:55and help us welcome Tiana Paris back to Essence Live.
05:58You look absolutely stunning.
06:00How are you?
06:00I'm so good.
06:01How are you doing?
06:02I'm doing fabulous.
06:03I know you were shocked about that gorilla story too, girl.
06:06Okay.
06:07You know what?
06:08I feel so bad for the kid.
06:10That's very traumatic.
06:12And also the gorilla.
06:13I mean, nobody wanted to see the gorilla die.
06:17Nobody wanted to see that happen.
06:18We can get into that in a moment.
06:19On a more positive note, let's talk Mickey Howard.
06:22Why Mickey and what made you want to be a part of this film?
06:25I read the script and I, you know, I knew Mickey Howard's music,
06:29but I did not know the story of her life.
06:32And reading this script, there is so much that she has gone through.
06:36I mean, you have from spousal abuse, mental abuse, drug abuse.
06:42You have extreme highs when she was at the height of her career.
06:45And then you have these extreme lows.
06:47And it's really, her life is everything a movie is made of.
06:50And we have so much in this film.
06:53And we cover from her being 15 and kicked out and homeless all the way to mid-30s, late 30s.
07:00And that doesn't even scratch the surface, but there is so much there.
07:06Did you get a chance to meet with Mickey beforehand?
07:08Oh, this whole process happened really quickly.
07:11So I got the script and we, I had maybe two weeks, two and a half weeks before we actually started production.
07:19Oh, wow.
07:20Yeah, yeah.
07:21So I had a crash course of Mickey Howard love.
07:25She is such an amazing person.
07:27First of all, we all know her talent, which is beyond.
07:32And, but as a human being, she's so loving.
07:35She's so lovable.
07:36And just really getting to know her, since there wasn't much time,
07:40I had to make sure I at least captured her essence.
07:43Right.
07:44And essence.
07:45No pun intended.
07:45Yeah, no pun intended.
07:46But we'll take it.
07:47Yes.
07:48So that was really my goal.
07:50And she was so open and she gave me, it was a little, you never know how someone is going to react.
07:57Right.
07:58Especially what we had to do, reliving those moments.
08:02And I was so grateful that she really gave me the permission to go there.
08:07She said, go, go further.
08:09You can do it and not be embarrassed or feel guilty that I'm making her relive this.
08:14It's a story she once told.
08:16It's a story that I want to share because it's really a story of redemption and perseverance through the hard times.
08:24And she doesn't fall once or twice.
08:26And not even fall, but she has to pick herself up and figure out who she is multiple times.
08:32And I think it's really going to inspire people to watch it.
08:35I can't wait to see that because sometimes we get so stuck in the valleys, if you will, that we don't really even, you know, we don't try to get back to the peak.
08:43So I love seeing those story arches.
08:45Now, there have been quite a few remakes of singers from Whitney Houston to Toni Braxton, Aaliyah.
08:51And they've received some pretty harsh criticisms.
08:53Were you nervous about taking on this type of project?
08:58First of all, I enjoyed some of those films.
09:04I'm always nervous taking on any project.
09:08And then the fact that this woman is still alive and she's going to watch and she's going to judge what I do.
09:16It doesn't even matter what anyone else does or says.
09:19This is her life.
09:21And she's there on set watching in a part.
09:25Right.
09:25Right.
09:26But she wasn't that person.
09:27And that's what made it so much easier to really just dive in and go for it.
09:33But so, yeah, of course, I was nervous and like, oh, and then just the material itself.
09:40I want to do a thorough job telling this story, this woman's story, but a story that's so necessary to share.
09:47I think it's going to help people heal.
09:49I think it's going to bring up a lot of topics that we as a community sometimes, right, won't talk about.
09:56So it's kind of that same feeling I felt with Chirac where people are going to have very strong opinions about what we're doing and what we're saying.
10:07But at the heart of it, I know that there are people who need to hear this and who would benefit from hearing it and who will actually be healed from it.
10:16And that's what's most important.
10:17Yes.
10:18I guess the artist I can imagine that's what you want to do.
10:20Are you ready to take on some fan questions?
10:22Okay.
10:23Yes.
10:23All right.
10:23All right.
10:24Here we go.
10:24Okay, Kayla, what's our first question that you have for Tiana?
10:28Maria from Jacketsville wants to know, who does your hair?
10:31Oh, hey, Maria.
10:34Today I did it.
10:35I woke up early and did my hair.
10:38But generally, some of the hairstyles that I know gets a lot of attention, the one from the SAG Awards, Felicia Leatherwood did that one.
10:48Dorico Jackson, I work with him a lot.
10:50Okay.
10:51Sparkles Clark.
10:53Yeah, I've been blessed to work with some people with some amazing hands.
10:58Do you feel like any backlash sometimes being natural in Hollywood?
11:02It's a new dawn, a new day, so it's not really an issue.
11:04I wouldn't say backlash.
11:07I mean, people cannot like it, but I'm not, I don't care.
11:14Is that what I have to say?
11:15Is that awful to say?
11:17It's not an awful thing to say.
11:17You're just comfortable in who you are.
11:19And that's a beautiful thing.
11:20And that was, it took a journey to get there.
11:21It's not like I just woke up one day with my natural hair like, oh, yes, girl.
11:25Hey.
11:26Yeah, no.
11:28But today, I woke up like, hey, girl, hey.
11:30And you look fabulous.
11:31All right, Kayla, what's another question you have for us?
11:33Okay.
11:34People are also showing you love.
11:35Mahadia Kakumba says, I can't wait to see your movie.
11:39Denise King says, rocking my fashionista and naturalista sister.
11:44And Olympia, Tisdale wants to know when your movie comes out.
11:47So, Love Under New Management, the Mickey Howard story comes out June 12th on TV1.
11:54We're really excited.
11:55It's TV1's first biopic from their Unsung series.
12:00Mickey Howard had one of the highest rated episodes.
12:03Right, I saw that.
12:04A little bit.
12:05Highest rated episodes.
12:07And they decided to make a movie out of it.
12:10I have a question for you.
12:11Yes.
12:11Do you sing?
12:12No.
12:12Okay.
12:13Oh, oh, the question was, do I sing?
12:15Yes.
12:16Can I sing?
12:17No, not at all.
12:19I lived out all my singing superstar dreams while filming this movie.
12:24They're running playback super loud so they can stop hearing me.
12:27It's okay, girl.
12:29Underneath.
12:29I'm like, y'all gonna hear me today.
12:30It's okay, girl.
12:31But thank you so much for bringing your fabulous energy.
12:34It's always a pleasure to have you here on Essence Live.
12:36And, of course, if we didn't get to your question, no worries.
12:39Tiana is going to stick around after the show for another Facebook live chat
12:42with our Essence editors.
12:44And you can see her in Love Under New Management,
12:46The Mickey Howard Story, June 12th on TV1.
12:49Coming up, I'm going to do a freestyle battle,
12:51ow, ow, with Essence Festival performer Common.
12:54And we've got a panel of experts here to help you get a new summer boot thing.
12:57Or just fix the relationship you're currently in.
13:00But right now, Essence Festival performer Lion Babe
13:02reveals which of their songs was inspired by a little sister.
13:05I love you.
13:08We are Lion Babe.
13:09This is my music.
13:10My life.
13:12Begin is our first album.
13:14And there's one song called Little Dreamer.
13:17And my little sister, she was the person to, like, inspire the whole idea of it.
13:23Make sure every story has a chance to come and steal your heart away.
13:33I just was watching her grow up so fast.
13:35So to kind of see what it's like to be your purest self when you're little
13:39and you're not thinking about anything,
13:40and then you see what, like, manifests out of that.
13:43Like, it's an emotional song.
13:44And, like, I remember finishing the vocals the day before I turned 25,
13:48and I was, like, freaking out.
13:51That's the only song I've ever, like, heard the lyrics in my head
13:55and just said them and knew what they were.
13:57And I was, like, taking a shower.
14:00And it was just very free.
14:02We wanted to make something that was, like, a reminder of staying true
14:05to your kind of inner child and that inner joy.
14:09Life is so magical and, like, it's such a blessing that we even get to have it.
14:14So it's just kind of that reminder of never, like, you know, doubt your path
14:19because everything's an experience and it's all magical.
14:21Sleep little dreamer
14:24Don't forget to rest your little hand
14:30Hey, guys, I'm Alexandra Shipp, and I play Storm in X-Men Apocalypse.
14:35You should watch X-Men because the visual effects are insanity.
14:40This storm is a completely different storm than what we've seen before.
14:43She is kind of a bad guy, which is really fun to play.
14:47And I'm such a fan of the franchise, and this movie is definitely made for the fans.
14:51I'm Alexandra Shipp, and you are watching Essence Live.
14:55And it's live.
14:58Hey, hey, Essence Live.
15:00I'm Dana Blair, and you may or may not have heard of this rapper name common.
15:03Well, you know that he's super talented,
15:06and he's going to be at the Essence Festival 4th of July weekend in New Orleans, Louisiana.
15:10But I had the chance of catching up with him a little bit earlier this week to discuss his music
15:15and, of course, have a little rap battle.
15:17Check it out.
15:20Hey, hey, what's up, Dana?
15:21Welcome, welcome.
15:22You know, I'm just warming up.
15:23We love you, and you know we love you.
15:25And we also know that you're a world-class freestyler.
15:28So I'm going to put you to the test.
15:30I'm going to join in, too.
15:31Yes.
15:32What we're going to do is put some images on the screen,
15:34and we'll do a quick freestyle about the image.
15:36Seems pretty easy.
15:37We'll just go back and forth until the time runs out.
15:40Okay.
15:40You ready?
15:41Yes.
15:41All right.
15:42I'm ready.
15:42Drop the music, please.
15:45All right, here's the first picture.
15:46Go.
15:47One, two, yo, you always got flows.
15:49Looking at my man, his name is D. Rose.
15:52You know how it shows, this time is sort of free.
15:55When it come to freestyle, I'm the MVP.
15:57That's how it is.
15:59Yo, you can follow me and D. Rose.
16:01Yo, we both from Chicago.
16:03Sounds easy.
16:06Ninja.
16:07I'm going to slay the rhyme like a ninja.
16:09Figure.
16:10I may not win this.
16:12I'm from Louisiana, not Chicago.
16:14This is how I want you all to know.
16:17How we roll.
16:18Super Bowl.
16:21My rhymes are ice cold.
16:22What?
16:23I don't even have to say anything else.
16:25Yeah.
16:26Yo, check it out.
16:27I'm not only here to entertain, I come off the brain.
16:31When my train of thought is sort of like this train, this is how it is.
16:34Yo, I'm saying what I feel.
16:36I was rocking that train on hell on wheels.
16:39That was in the 1800s.
16:40Yo, I get a dolphin.
16:42I get a dolphin.
16:43Yo, Dana going to keep coughing.
16:44Trying to disturb me, but still my words be.
16:47Just like that train, sort of dirty.
16:49Early.
16:50That's how it is.
16:51Calm sense.
16:51I'm the rhyming whiz.
16:53Look at the candles.
16:54I see the sand for the kids.
16:55I was traveling, I'm coughing, I have allergies, put you in a coffin.
17:00Oh, that was ice cold.
17:02St. Castle sunburn.
17:04It's all right.
17:04Freestyle.
17:05I'm really gonna learn.
17:06That's all I got.
17:07That's all I got.
17:08That's all I got.
17:08That's all I got.
17:09You see the candle and I make it hot.
17:12What can you do, calm since I be wild?
17:14See, I get the going off the head like Riley.
17:17That's how it is.
17:18Yo, they always love the kids.
17:20Calm since I've been in this biz for a long time.
17:23But still I love the style.
17:24I can freestyle just like I was a child.
17:27So I ain't in a hurry.
17:28My style is never blurry.
17:29I got the shot off like my man Curry.
17:32Step back.
17:33Step back.
17:33What can I do when I rep rap?
17:35Calm since I love girls jet black.
17:37That's how it is.
17:38That's why I got the presence.
17:40You gonna see me rocking at the show called Essence.
17:42Dana learning lessons about this stare.
17:45Coming off the top with no hair, Dana Blair.
17:47Plus it's calm since you know I'm so rare.
17:49They said the freestyle battle, yo, it ain't fair and it ain't.
17:53I can paint a picture and she gotta lose.
17:55But that's okay.
17:56She got the dope shoes.
17:57So it's all that.
17:58Yo, I ain't here to bring the blues.
18:00We in New Orleans and we gonna bring the jazz in.
18:02Do it for the people who like to like the cash.
18:05A little bit of type of things we gotta bring.
18:07Yo, people like to sing and we like the dream.
18:10So that's how it is.
18:11Me and her, we like a team.
18:13Whoa.
18:14Oh, I like that flow.
18:16My shoes, my hair, that's what I'm gonna use on my Tinder profile.
18:20Because people ask me about this all the time.
18:22I'm toasting, toasting.
18:24That's the end.
18:25Yo, whatever coasts.
18:27Don't even boast.
18:28Yeah, Dana got toasted.
18:30Like a little bread, that's what's said.
18:34Don't challenge me when it comes to off the head.
18:36But that's okay.
18:38Calm sense will keep running.
18:39A different type of style.
18:41I got love for the black woman.
18:42So I can let you know why I'm coming down for girls.
18:46I wrote a rhyme called If the Women Rued the World.
18:49Well, really, it's me sober.
18:51It's called The Women Took Over.
18:52I feel like Common got bars.
18:54Khaled got keys.
18:56I'm gonna learn how to do this whole Steve.
18:58Flowing off the top of the dome.
19:00I'm going home.
19:01New Orleans, Louisiana.
19:02They're going to the Superdome.
19:04Watching my man Common.
19:06Buy your tickets.
19:07Oh, I think that was for you, Common.
19:10Yeah, check it out.
19:12I know you see that.
19:13It ain't all for certain.
19:15I'm looking right now at that girl Serena twerking.
19:18She putting it to working, doing her thing.
19:20When it comes to this, she know that girl, she's a black queen.
19:24So what?
19:24What can we do, yo?
19:25Yo, throw up the dub.
19:27I guess it's all there because the girl is showing love.
19:30So it's like this, yo.
19:32She's never afraid.
19:33That's why she rocking that joint in the lemonade.
19:36So what?
19:37What can you do when you look, look at me.
19:39She got that lemonade and I'm the iced tea.
19:43So, yo, the style is free, yo.
19:45How wild I be, yo.
19:46She's smiling.
19:47Oh, oh, oh, oh.
19:48We got the buzzer.
19:49I'm going to stick to talking and doing marketing proposals because that's my lane.
19:54This is, I have to bow down to you.
19:55But you didn't have to nod when I said that was my lane.
19:57Oh, you're like, yeah.
19:57You didn't have to nod just now when I said that.
20:00You didn't have to nod.
20:00Are we doing the truth or we're...
20:02But thank you so much.
20:02High five.
20:03For me, it's such a good sport.
20:04As I mentioned, you're performing at the Essence Festival this year.
20:07What can we expect from your show?
20:08Oh, man, I've had so many great experiences at the Essence Festival.
20:13So this year, I just got to take it up a notch.
20:15We got to take it up.
20:16We're going to get it.
20:17Like, I mean, I'm excited because it's always a super dope crowd there.
20:21And now I'm bringing more people, more band, more music.
20:25I got new music that I'm releasing soon.
20:28So I'll be performing some of that, too.
20:30Nice.
20:30And, man, I'm just looking forward to what we're going to create.
20:33It's just going to be fun.
20:35Can you tell a little bit about the new music?
20:36Who can we expect?
20:37Making maybe a cameo?
20:38Well, the new project is called Little Chicago Boy.
20:42And it's a social, political, love.
20:47It's passion.
20:48It's, like, just inspired music.
20:50I have, like, John Legend and I did a song, of course.
20:53But the Internet, Anderson .
20:56Nice.
20:57Stevie Wonder and I did a song.
20:59Oh, wow.
21:00It's called Black America Again.
21:01It's really, like, I'm talking about.
21:03How did that collaboration come about with Stevie Wonder?
21:05Well, I just, I wrote the song, and Stevie and I have been talking about creating something together.
21:12And I asked him would he do something on this particular song.
21:16It's not like he's the hook or anything on the song.
21:18It's, like, he sings at the end of it, and he just kind of sums up what I rapped about.
21:23Because the song is really, like, it's really, like, Black America Again is saying something about what we go through as black people.
21:33Now, I know I was a little out of breath for that, but I'm a host, not a rapper.
21:38So don't y'all come for me on social media.
21:39Kayla, what's going on on Facebook?
21:42People are showing you love and showing Common love.
21:45Malachi says, bars.
21:46And Charlotte says, tear it up, Common.
21:48And a couple of people are on Twitter as well.
21:51Tracy said, I wish I could rap like Common.
21:53And Trina says, come and say my name, baby.
21:56Oh.
21:57Okay, then, Trina.
21:58A little spicy.
21:59All right.
21:59Well, Trina, tell us how you really feel.
22:00I mean, Paula gave me some love.
22:04Thank you, Paula, for recognizing that rapping's not my forte, but hosting is.
22:08Thank you, Paula.
22:09All right.
22:09So, Kayla, we're going to check back in with you in a few.
22:12Remember, you can catch Common 4th of July weekend at Essence Festival in New Orleans.
22:15Tickets are on sale right now at EssenceFestival.com.
22:18And now, we are taking your love and relationship questions.
22:22Now that the weather's heating up, are you looking for a new bae or two or three?
22:26Or you're already in a relationship and you need help bringing the fire back?
22:30Well, our love and relationship experts are here to help.
22:33Joining me now in studio, Essence.com Lifestyle and Relationship Editor, Charlie Penn.
22:38Hey, boo.
22:38Hey, boo.
22:39Hey.
22:40Back again, Life Coach, Abiola Abrams.
22:43Hey, love.
22:45And our token, regular, shmegula, degula dude.
22:49Providing the male point of view, SI Wire host, Tony Anderson.
22:53Hey, Dana.
22:54La, da.
22:55Okay, if you're watching us live on Facebook, we're taking your questions.
22:59So, leave them in the comment section.
23:01But we'll also hit the New York City streets to see what our biggest love issues are.
23:05Let's roll our first video question.
23:08Hi, my name is Dominique, and I have a few questions about liars when dating.
23:12I find that they lie whether in person or via text.
23:16They'll lie about where they're at or how many kids they have.
23:19So, my question is, how do we find out whether someone is a liar before we take it too far in the relationship?
23:26I have my own personal thoughts on this, but who wants to take this one?
23:29I don't text one.
23:32Who wants to go first?
23:33I know.
23:34There's so much.
23:35I was the first to the ladies.
23:36Tony, go ahead.
23:37I want one of the ladies first.
23:39I'll tell if it's a liar.
23:40Please do.
23:41Okay, so first of all, I just want to just shout out the sister.
23:44The struggle is real.
23:46I can feel it.
23:47Like, her energy was like, how can I tell that these lying ass dudes are lying?
23:51So, the first thing that you want to do, dating starts with your attitude, right?
23:56So, you want to go into it with a positive attitude, not expecting that everyone out there is a liar, a cheater, and, you know, all of that stuff.
24:03Right.
24:03The second thing is that, you know, you want to do your due diligence.
24:07If they are, you know, available all hours of the day and claiming they're a CEO, they may be lying.
24:13You know, if they are, you know, there are some apps, depending on how suspicious you are in your life, that you could do, you know, like there's one named, Is He Married?
24:21Or something like that, where you could do a little background check or something like that.
24:25Just a little, you know, cursory background check and just see what's going on.
24:28You know, and just do a little due diligence.
24:29My favorite saying is, trust but verify.
24:32Okay.
24:33Tony, you have a quick comment?
24:34I was just going to say, everybody lies.
24:36So, you can't just figure out who do lie, who don't lie.
24:39You got to do what works best for you.
24:41Verify.
24:41And make sure that this, I like what you said.
24:43Trust but verify.
24:44Verify.
24:44Everybody lies.
24:45Follow up.
24:45Follow up, ladies.
24:46Sometimes lies is a good thing.
24:47What's our next question?
24:48Hi, my name is Tamara, and I'm from Jersey.
24:53I've been approached by married men several times.
24:56How can you actually tell that a man is single?
24:59Oh, wow.
25:00Hit it, Charlie.
25:02I'm going to tell you, my husband, I know where he is.
25:05His ring is on, okay?
25:06You'll see the suntan line, okay?
25:08If you see a tan line on the ring finger, he's married.
25:11If you can't access him in the evenings after 8 o'clock, he's married.
25:16You know what I mean?
25:17He's having dinner with his wife.
25:18If you've been dating him for three months, six months, and you've never been to his apartment.
25:22He's married.
25:22He's married.
25:23Okay.
25:24And if he doesn't text or call you right back and never answer your phone call on the first try, he's married.
25:30Tony?
25:31Listen, I plead the fifth on this one.
25:32Tony, look, you can't keep talking.
25:34You can't keep talking.
25:35I'm going to plead with over there.
25:36Y'all not going to have me break that man code in here.
25:39No.
25:39Y'all just gave him.
25:40Well, you know what?
25:40Tony's not married yet.
25:41I'm not.
25:42We'll forgive him.
25:43But maybe, you know, he don't know how married folks are.
25:45No, but he's doing some kind of bro code, you know.
25:48But you know, I found that too, though.
25:49Like, the male, the male pack, they don't rat each other out.
25:54They're not that bright collectively.
25:55However, they do not rat each other out.
25:58If you pay attention, they'll tell you everything.
26:01That voice is strong.
26:01They'll tell you everything that she needs to know.
26:02But I will say, you ladies hit it on the head, and that's all I'm going to say.
26:06Uh-oh.
26:06I'm not saying anything else.
26:08I plead the fifth.
26:09What's our next question?
26:10Bring it on.
26:11Hi, my name is Monica.
26:14I'm from New York.
26:15And my question is how to create a profile on a dating website that allows you to seem interesting
26:21and outgoing and intelligent without promoting any unwanted advances?
26:28Well, don't do the duck lips.
26:29No, just me.
26:30Don't do like this.
26:31Or the cleavage boost thing.
26:32Or the cleavage boost thing.
26:33Here's the thing for that.
26:34You can use just about any social networking platform as a dating thing.
26:38It could be Instagram, it could be Twitter, it could be whatever.
26:41Because I know I've checked some ladies out.
26:43You can never only have the guys that you want and the ones that you don't.
26:46It don't work that way.
26:47It doesn't work that way.
26:48You're going to kiss some ugly, what is it?
26:49Some ugly ducklings.
26:50Kiss some frogs.
26:50You got to kiss some frogs.
26:51You get to the prince or whatever the case is.
26:53So just go through your DMs, you know?
26:56It's just like you got to swipe left or right.
26:59You know what I mean?
26:59Even though it's not Tinder, swipe left for the ones you don't and swipe right for the ones you
27:02don't.
27:03Post some pictures of things that you're doing.
27:04You in the gym working out.
27:06And whatever you portray, that is what you're going to get.
27:08So if you're half naked, not that there's anything wrong with it, that's the kind of
27:11guy you're going to get.
27:12And if you want a super church going dude and post a picture with you in the Bible, then
27:15that's probably what you'll get.
27:17You get what you, you attract what you put out there.
27:20And there's nothing wrong with a little entry, you know?
27:22Like maybe you want to just show off your tattoo or what your shirt says or your earring.
27:26You know, you can be creative with your profile image.
27:28Show off something about you instead of a part of you.
27:31That you feel is a positive.
27:32And make sure that your pictures are current.
27:34Like don't have your pictures be like five years old, ten years old, you know, whatever.
27:38Make sure your pictures are current.
27:40Make sure that your pictures are cute.
27:42And don't have like those pictures with you and like five of your girlfriends.
27:46And he's like, which one is it?
27:48Please don't be bitter, ladies.
27:50Please.
27:50Or just you and your cat.
27:51For one more question, I want to make sure I get this viewer's question in.
27:54Let's see our next question.
27:56Hi, I'm Shantae.
27:57I'm from Brooklyn.
27:58So in the workspace, I'm around a lot of single guys.
28:03I just want advice on how would I approach someone that I'm interested in, but keeping
28:08it professional.
28:09Let me take this.
28:10Do you mind if I take this?
28:11Go ahead.
28:11Go ahead.
28:11Sister, don't do it.
28:13Don't do it.
28:14Don't dip your pen in company ink.
28:17Yes.
28:17Don't do it.
28:18It could go all wrong because if it goes great, cool.
28:21But if it goes wrong and you got to see them every day at work.
28:24She's feeling your stapler, your highlighter.
28:26She was going to H1.
28:27I do agree with Tony just a smidge.
28:29I feel like you can make a move if you really feel a connection, but you don't need to do
28:33it in the office.
28:35You need to ask them to join you after hours somewhere else and see if there's a real
28:39connection.
28:39But if you see any red flags, I think you might need to run early.
28:42I don't know, Charlie.
28:43I'm going to give advice in between.
28:44Okay.
28:45But you don't want to say meet me after work or whatever.
28:48And it's your boss or whoever.
28:50And then now they're, you know, prosecuting you for sexual harassment.
28:53You don't want to do that.
28:55So the way to do it is just, you know, let them let every let it be known generally that
28:59you're available and looking.
29:01Be lightly flirtatious, but keep it clean.
29:05Keep it professional.
29:06Most people do meet their significant other in the workplace.
29:08They really do.
29:09So you don't want to just shut that off completely.
29:11Okay.
29:11Hold on.
29:11Hold on.
29:12I'm going to have to put a pin in this one for a quick second.
29:14So we can reach out to our Facebook family.
29:17Kayla, what are they saying about all of this?
29:19Lots of funny comments.
29:20Tammy Frazier says, excellent relationship nuggets.
29:23Juliet Romeo Johnson says, in response to whether you know he's lying or not, if he always
29:27eats before you go on a date.
29:29If he always what?
29:31Before you go on a date.
29:32Stop it.
29:33Tiffany Rucker says, Tony, I ain't mad at your man code.
29:37Shade.
29:38Cut off Tim.
29:38Shade.
29:39Lots of funny comments coming in, guys.
29:42I can't even deal with y'all.
29:43Okay.
29:43We're going to have to stick around because I'm sure we're going to have a lot more activity.
29:46Yes.
29:46I want to thank all of you for joining us and that excellent advice except for Tony.
29:50Coming up, a very special performance from rising R&B artist Drew Vision.
29:56Plus, it's our Black Girl Magic Moment of the Week.
29:58Is there a Black woman or girl who you think did the damn thing this week?
30:01Let us know in the comments section of our Facebook page right now or by using the hashtag
30:05Essence Live.
30:06All right, right now, Money and Violence star Brittany Chance tells us why balancing two jobs
30:10and motherhood makes her an Essence woman.
30:14I am Brittany Angelica Chance.
30:17I am a teacher.
30:19I am a mother.
30:20I am an actor.
30:22I am Essence.
30:24I am from Brooklyn, New York.
30:26My family's from the Caribbean.
30:28So when I first graduated from Temple University, I came back home and I declared I was a full-time
30:34actor.
30:34You know my parents had a fit.
30:37My nine to five is teaching.
30:41I work for the High School for Global Citizenship in Brooklyn, New York.
30:44It was very important for me to work in the neighborhood that I'm from because I'm a life
30:48teacher.
30:48No matter what subject it is that I'm teaching my students, I'm a life teacher first.
30:52I knew very well that there was more going on in the room besides fractions and mixed numbers.
30:56My students are people first.
30:58They know that I'm coming from a place of love every time I speak to them.
31:02After my nine to five of teaching, then I go on to my acting classes or whatever gig
31:08it is that I have.
31:09The decision to really pay more attention to my acting career, that was not an easy decision
31:14for me.
31:15But I recognize that it was not enough to tell my students, hey, you can do whatever you
31:20want.
31:21You can follow your dreams.
31:22I really had to show them.
31:26Every day I would say it.
31:27I'm going to be a Money in Violence.
31:28I'm going to be a Money in Violence.
31:30I cannot stand watching a show where it's set in the hood and people sound like the stereotypical,
31:37what they think people from the hood sounds like.
31:40And so that's really why Money in Violence stood out to me in the first place.
31:43One of my very good friends, she plays Jessica on the show.
31:46She contacted me and told me there's a spot.
31:48I thought it was just going to be one episode, and at the end of that scene, they told me,
31:54okay, well, you're going to be in the next episode.
31:56And then at the end of that, they were like, you're going to be in the next.
31:58I had no clue that I was going to be in for the rest of the season.
32:01It's important to me for my son to also see everything that I'm doing.
32:05You can be multiple things.
32:06You don't have to choose one.
32:08I've seen him respond that way to someone when they say, you know, what do you want to
32:10be when you grow up?
32:11And he was like, an actor, a director, and a doctor.
32:14And they're like, all of those?
32:15Well, which one?
32:15And he was like, I don't have to choose one.
32:17I was like, yes.
32:18And I'm still at a point now where I'm still trying to figure out, you know, how am I
32:22going to leave my mark?
32:23Yes, I teach.
32:24But on a grander scale, how am I going to leave my mark?
32:28Once I have that platform as an actor, I feel there's great responsibility to give back
32:35in a stronger way.
32:37I am resilient.
32:38I am loving.
32:40I am Brittany Angelica Chance.
32:42I am Essence.
32:43You're watching Essence Live.
32:49I'm your host, Dana Blair.
32:50And it's now time for our Black Girl Magic Moment of the Week.
32:53This week's salute goes to our girl, Issa Rae, who finally got a release date for her
32:58long-awaited HBO series, Insecure.
33:00Insecure Days views this fall, and it's based on Issa's successful, say that three times
33:05fast, successful web series, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl.
33:09Congratulations, Issa.
33:11Remember, you can watch Essence's original Black Girl Magic documentaries at essence.com
33:15slash blackgirlmagic.
33:16All right, before we go, I want to check in one more time with my girl, Kayla.
33:21What's going on?
33:21What are the folks saying on Facebook?
33:23Facebook, they're still chiming in on the hot list.
33:26People have lots to say about that.
33:27So back to the gorilla story.
33:29Tawana Finer says, tell the stars to chime in on all the murders in Chicago.
33:33A dang-gone gorilla, really world?
33:35And back on Twitter, at Saucy Sista, the thing is the gorilla was dragging the child around
33:40and can crush a coconut with bare hands.
33:42Too risky and unfortunate.
33:44Essence tweeted, why are people more concerned about a rare gorilla?
33:46than the child?
33:47And at 804 Street Media, he says, because the child wasn't white.
33:51Oh.
33:52Sorry, guys.
33:53Oh.
33:53Well, all right.
33:54Tell us how you really don't feel, Facebook family.
33:56Thank you again, Kayla.
33:57You can holler at us anytime using the hashtag EssenceLive or by emailing us at EssenceLive
34:02at Essence.com.
34:03Thank you so much to Tiana Paris, Common, and our love and relationship experts for coming
34:07through.
34:07If you missed any of it, guess what?
34:09You can watch the replay immediately after the show on Essence.com.
34:13And remember to subscribe to our YouTube channel so you never miss a thing.
34:16And why would you want to miss this show?
34:18Closing things out this week is rising R&B star Drew Vision, whose music will be available
34:22on SoundCloud on Monday.
34:24Here he is performing his new song, Rhythm and Blues.
34:27I'm your host, Dana Blair, and I'll see you next time.
34:28I think we need to separate, but I don't mean to separate.
34:48Maybe we just need a break, but I don't mean we need a break.
34:53Yeah, get my drip from talking about, uh, sweat all night playing his word out.
35:00Slow dancing, we love.
35:02Repeat, you get it now.
35:05I'm making love.
35:07Yeah.
35:08You don't know about this love.
35:11You got me hooked on you.
35:13I'm stuck on you like you.
35:16I'm blue, rhythm and blue.
35:22I'm stuck on you, rhythm and blue.
35:26I used to make love to a R&B.
35:34I used to make love to a R&B.
35:39I'm alive by no one way.
35:42Maybe there's a different way.
35:45I seem to be going astray.
35:47Where I came, I ain't the same.
35:50You get my drip from talking about, uh,
35:53Miss Jackson, as we turn it out.
35:56Rhythm, they should get it loud.
35:59Three, two, one, you get it now.
36:01Are you making love?
36:05You don't know about this love.
36:07You got me hooked on you.
36:10I'm stuck on you like blue.
36:13I'm blue, rhythm and blue.
36:17I'm stuck on you, rhythm and blue.
36:23I used to make love to a R&B.
36:28I used to make love to a R&B.
36:31I used to make love to a R&B.
36:34Are you making love?
36:38You don't know about this love.
36:41You got me hooked on you, don't you?
36:44I'm stuck on you like blue.
36:46I'm blue, rhythm and blue.
36:52I'm stuck on you, rhythm and blue.
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