00:00Now we're gonna talk about how to end those unhealthy girlfriend friendships.
00:07Where do you begin? How do you let go?
00:10Do you just ghost them? Do you have a conversation?
00:13Text them a straight face emoji and say bye.
00:16Not the straight face.
00:17It's tough to be a boss friend.
00:19Right?
00:20You can use my bathroom at least.
00:23I think it depends on how long you've been friends.
00:28If I'm being really honest.
00:30Cause you know, even a really old friend, if you know it's over, that's uncomfortable.
00:34So I wouldn't just be like alright, bye girl.
00:37But you do want to make, kind of rip the band-aid though.
00:39Like you don't want to drag it out.
00:41I think I would just say like we're growing apart, right girl?
00:44I mean usually the feeling is mutual.
00:46Usually, yeah.
00:47Usually it's like you're not calling me either.
00:49You know I'm not calling you, you're not inviting me.
00:51It's awkward and we both know it.
00:53Me and a very good childhood friend of mine, we've been friends since the sixth grade.
00:56I wasn't really speaking to her and she wasn't really speaking to me.
00:59And my boyfriend at the time was just like, you know what though Dana?
01:01Y'all been friends since the sixth grade.
01:03Honor the relationship and pick up the damn phone and just call her.
01:07You can say your piece, you know, you ain't got to get all da da da da.
01:10You say your piece, you can say her piece and you can just kind of give it that reverence that it deserves.
01:13But it was some chick that I just met ten minutes ago on the B train.
01:17The closure is always good.
01:18This is good.
01:19And tough.
01:20I was joking about the emojis.
01:21Well wait no once.
01:22Not really.
01:23Like get some closure in a phone conversation or a text conversation.
01:27Whatever it is, whatever you're comfortable with with that person, whatever you're used to doing.
01:31And if it ends in a straight face emoji or angry face or one of these, then it just is.
01:36But how do you know it's time?
01:37Like how do you know when it's time to say, you know what?
01:39So and so is just not serving me and my wife.
01:41I think if you've tried several times to work something out, if there's some type of conflict
01:46and you keep butting heads and you just see that it's not going anywhere and you're spinning in circles
01:51and it's time to move on, like you said, we've grown apart for whatever reason.
01:55Then just you have to, that's when you know.
01:58Then you just move on.
01:59I agree.
02:00Because I had a friend in college that we were actually like super cool.
02:02Again, you're only in college for four years.
02:03So we were like long time friends, but we immediately clicked.
02:06Found out we were staying the same.
02:07Got em.
02:08And she kind of like lied about it.
02:11And so.
02:12Wait, she knew before you.
02:13She knew.
02:14And I told her.
02:15I said, girl, old boy is hitting me up.
02:17You didn't use the spill tea.
02:18I'm like, he's hitting me up.
02:19And she didn't say anything because she was ashamed that she was dating him.
02:23So.
02:24Yeah, he was a thought.
02:25We didn't put you on blast.
02:26He was a thought.
02:27I didn't know he was a thought until.
02:28It's okay.
02:29And things happened.
02:30But either way, our friendship was damaged a lot because when I found out she was dating him
02:35for months and I said, girl, but you could have just told me.
02:37Right.
02:38And now that would have been deaded.
02:39So we ended up just kind of like, she kept trying to come for me, like little things.
02:43And we were like, let's try and be friends.
02:44And then she'd be like, you're loud.
02:46And I'd be like, you're going to go.
02:47Right.
02:48And then now we're not really.
02:49That's a lot deeper.
02:50That's a lot deeper.
02:51Like sometimes it's, it's a little more surface.
02:54Yeah.
02:55It's like, I'm married now.
02:56You still turn up.
02:57Yeah.
02:58That's true.
02:59And that's understandable.
03:00That's true.
03:01Yeah.
03:02If you have a different, if you have different lifestyles, I think that you can just kind
03:04of let it like, like fade away.
03:05Like, like the Homer meme into the bushes like that.
03:08But if you have like a conflict at that moment, I'm going to tell you, I'm not messing with
03:12you now.
03:13Right.
03:14I need my space and just respect it.
03:15Right.
03:16And if we come back, we come back.
03:17But I think you have like a lifestyle change.
03:18You can just not really say our friendship is over.
03:20Because it doesn't have to be over.
03:21It's just, it's changed.
03:22Because you need to come back around.
03:23Right.
03:24She might get married and now you are a couple.
03:26Yeah.
03:27To understand, because I've had two friendships and one where I told her, look, I'm not messing
03:31with you.
03:32And I literally saw her and didn't talk to her.
03:33And then she didn't even think that I was for real.
03:35And it's been, I haven't talked to her since.
03:36Until that moment.
03:37Yeah.
03:38And another one was someone stopped talking to me.
03:39And I was like, I'm just going to give them their space.
03:41And then we reached out to each other maybe a couple months later.
03:43And she told me all these things that she didn't like.
03:45And our friendship that I didn't even realize.
03:47And when I heard her side, I was like, I can see how you felt that way, but you should
03:50have communicated.
03:51Right.
Comments