00:00Hi there, I'm Cori Murray, Entertainment and Talent Director at Essence Magazine.
00:04And while I deal a lot with celebrities, I really love talking with real people who work behind the scenes with celebrities,
00:12because to me, they have a lot of the power. That's where the real power is.
00:15But I'm interested when that power shifts.
00:18So today we're going to be talking with two people who really have learned to pivot their careers
00:24and really make another career for themselves that has more meaning for them and has really been a stepping stone to more meaningful life.
00:33I'm joined today with Nicole Kane and Misa Hilton. Please join us for the Essence Wellness House.
00:39Hey, how are you guys? How are you ladies doing? I'm trying to stop saying guys.
00:46Well, thank you. How about you? Good. Very good.
00:49So we all, we both know, a lot of our audiences know your brands already.
00:54I mean, Misa, I mean, fashion, you, the 90s, Lil' Kim, you created a whole movement.
01:01And Nicole, I mean, you were one of the purveyors of the celebrity internet boom as far as celebrity gossip.
01:08But then you stopped and you were like, I don't want to do this anymore.
01:12You have shifted to Exo Nicole. Let's start with you. What really made you pivot your career?
01:17I tell people all the time, like I started my celebrity gossip brand when I was in my 20s, my late 20s.
01:24And so around the time I started getting a little bit more aligned with my purpose and who I wanted to be in life,
01:32I realized that the site that I was running was not really in line with who I wanted to become.
01:37And so when I turned 35, I have parents that passed away at 41 and 42 years old.
01:44I had a, I had a conversation with myself.
01:48Like, could you see yourself, if your life was cut short, like your parents,
01:51could you see yourself reporting on celebrity news for the next seven years of your life?
01:56Or do you see yourself really living your life?
01:59And I chose to live my life.
02:02And so I shut down the site just shy of my 35th birthday.
02:07And I launched Exo Nicole as a birthday gift to myself a few days before my 35th birthday.
02:13Now, Misa, with you, like as a fan growing up, seeing the work that you did,
02:17the fashions you created, the looks, the iconic looks.
02:20I mean, you were really a testament to what hip hop and fashion, how they met.
02:26And that the looks you created were global.
02:29They went around the world, but I happened to watch a documentary about what you were featured in.
02:34I believe it's called the remix.
02:36Yes.
02:36And I didn't know this other half of your life, the part of your life where you had to stop and say,
02:43I can't do this anymore.
02:44Can you, can you tell us about that?
02:46That time in my life?
02:48Yes.
02:48Yes.
02:49When you had to pivot, like when things were not working out and you had to make a change,
02:53you had to make a shift.
02:54I think that life is about constantly making shifts.
02:57It's just about different shifts at different times.
03:02And in the movie in particular, I had went through a financial crisis.
03:07And the financial crisis was a catalyst to push me into a new space.
03:13So although it was very painful and I was confused and I didn't understand how I got here
03:17and I had all the success and then it becomes something that you can feel like shame about
03:22or embarrassed or like, oh my goodness, you know, who can I talk to about this without feeling judged?
03:28I went through the process.
03:30You know, thank God I already had tools.
03:32You know, I've been a certified life coach since 2012.
03:35In another life, I would have been a psychologist.
03:37That's the other thing.
03:38I love personal development.
03:40I love psychology.
03:41I love the mind so much.
03:43So that's just that that's always been my passion.
03:45But going back to what you saw in the film and the documentary with having all of those tools
03:51and having had success after that and doing a lot of personal development work,
03:55it was like this situation came into my life to really push me up to the next level.
04:01And I had to go really deep.
04:03And if you want to go, you want something that's going to push you to go deep, money will do it.
04:10Money will do it.
04:11Right.
04:11Or like that feeling of like fear and, you know, uncertainty.
04:16That's what that's what you saw in the film.
04:18And that was just one moment.
04:19But as I said earlier, you there's going to be more moments, you know, for more areas of my life.
04:24And what the thing about challenges and pain is that you can use it as a tool and you can use it.
04:32You can you can stay with it.
04:35Go deeper with yourself.
04:37Find out more about yourself.
04:40Wounds you may have.
04:41Traumas you may have.
04:42Belief systems you may have about yourself, about others.
04:46And take that.
04:49Become refined.
04:50And it becomes a jewel in your crown.
04:52That's what I said.
04:53If you're willing to do the work, because the work takes courage.
04:55You're going to be crying.
04:57You're going to be upset.
04:58You might want to blame some people, places and things.
05:01But once you become accountable and you see what this experience is pointing back to.
05:08Inside of yourself, then you become aware, self-aware.
05:12And then from there, you can begin to move forward.
05:15And I'm here.
05:16And now, Nicole, I remember, too, when you were making that ship.
05:19I mean, you left New York, right?
05:21You moved back.
05:23And, I mean, can you talk a little bit about how you got through that fear?
05:26Like, where did you dig in deep to really push yourself to get where you are now?
05:31And, like, I love how you put it.
05:33Like, you gave Exo and Nicole as a birthday gift to yourself.
05:37Yeah.
05:37Well, similar to Misa.
05:38Like, you know, walking away from my celebrity gossip site, it was at the height of my career.
05:43So, I was walking away from...
05:44I mean, we checked your site first before we came to work.
05:47So, I didn't even know where my next check was coming from, you know?
05:52And I didn't set systems in place with the new site to make sure that I had revenue streams coming.
05:57So, it was one of those things where I was about to hit rock bottom very fast.
06:02The money went out very fast.
06:05It wasn't coming in as fast.
06:06And so, it was a point where I thought, people are going to see me living on my aunt's couch again, you know, for this dream I had.
06:15But, I went through a situation just to 2017 where I sold everything.
06:20The car on my picture board.
06:22I sold all the clothes that I had accumulated during my Nicole Bitchy days.
06:26I showed up in New York with two suitcases.
06:28And, I lived in a three-bedroom apartment with a rotating roommate.
06:33Like, you know, 2017, it's 2020, that's three years ago.
06:37And, I just prayed, like, that it will work out.
06:40And, as you guys know, Will Packard came along and he acquired my website.
06:44And, I was able to bounce back.
06:46But, that was something I went through publicly.
06:50You know, that's like public humiliation.
06:52But, I'm glad I was able to take my readers on a journey because they get to see the light at the end of the tunnel and how it all worked out.
07:00You know what I mean?
07:03I totally do.
07:04So, how is, I mean, we're in the wellness house.
07:07Nicole, am I right?
07:08You're a bodybuilder?
07:10Yeah, I am a bodybuilder.
07:14I feel like, as black women, we need hobbies.
07:18Hobbies that we're not trying to monetize.
07:21We're always trying to make a hustle out of something.
07:23And, so, we're always working.
07:25And, you know, I don't feel like we have enough pleasure in our lives.
07:27And, a pleasure can be an orgasm.
07:29I just don't feel like we have enough pleasure.
07:33And, I tell my friends all the time, if you take away pleasure out of our lives, that's all we're left with is pain.
07:39So, for me, it's very important for me to have hobbies, to do things that I find pleasure in, reading and travel and those type of things.
07:48So, that's my message to young black women who watch our journeys.
07:53Yeah.
07:54And, Misa, what is your message to those young women?
07:56Where do you find your pleasure?
08:00That's PG.
08:01I mean, where do you find your wellness?
08:09Where do you feel well in your life?
08:13Now, I make the time to focus on myself.
08:17Being an entrepreneur and a young mother, as I said, I had three children by the time I was 25 and I had this career.
08:24I didn't make a lot of time for myself.
08:26It was like a vacation while I was working in the town I was in.
08:30Or, you know, I wouldn't take that time for myself.
08:34And so, I think taking time for yourself away from everything, as Nicole said, not trying to make money or make it into a business, because I had a very bad habit of that.
08:42Like, everything, I wanted to turn it into a business, you know, and now I found myself not having much free time.
08:49So, now I make the time.
08:50I love the beach.
08:52I love to read.
08:53I love to just do nothing.
08:54I love flowers.
08:55I love planting.
08:58Nowadays, with my children being grown, I have more time for that and I appreciate it so much.
09:03And I didn't have to wait until now or recently to, you know, the recent past to do it.
09:09This is something that I could have been doing.
09:10So, I definitely would say to young women, take time for yourself.
09:15You need it.
09:15It's a part of being well.
09:18We're not here to work 24 hours a day, 365, which is not.
09:22And you will not ever feel happy.
09:24You will always feel like something's missing.
09:26You will feel like, what's next?
09:27What's next?
09:27What's next?
09:28Which creates an anxiety that you're actually creating just because you haven't taken that time for yourself.
09:35And learning to say no, creating boundaries, healthy boundaries is extremely important.
09:42Do not allow yourself to get pushed into any place that you don't feel comfortable.
09:46I don't care what it is.
09:48I don't care how much money it is.
09:49I don't care who the people are involved or what this situation or how lucrative a situation may be or anything.
09:56You have to really trust yourself and tap into your intuition.
10:01No one can tell you what you need to do.
10:04People can give you advice and it's always through their filter, right?
10:07But when you tap into your own intuition and you become one with yourself, you always know the answer, especially once you get all the fear away and you get all the noise, as I like to call it.
10:19You know, you know what's right for you.
10:21And so I think starting that early and teaching young women early about that gift that we all possess and how to tap into it and know that we are powerful and we are strong and we are creators.
10:34And we can create any situation that we want.
10:37We can create a scary situation, too, you know.
10:40And so you want to use your imagination in a positive way, I like to say, instead of using it to create things that experiences that you don't want to have.
10:49And I don't want to go too deep on that because we only got a few minutes left, but your mind is very powerful and we are constantly creating by words, thoughts, deeds, everything.
11:00So everything that you do, young ladies, you're either one step closer to the women you want to be or one step away.
11:07And that's a fact.
11:09Thank you, ladies, both for giving us some homework to do.
11:13Nicole, I'm going to go out and give me a hobby.
11:15I got to wait.
11:17I have to sell this condo to go get a house so I can have a garden, but I have some plants.
11:23Thank you, ladies, so much.
11:26Take care.
11:27And for more about Essence Wellness House, be sure to visit EssenceStudios.com.
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