- 23 hours ago
Nia Long joins to Yes, Girl! podcast to talk about her first time producing and starring in the Netflix film "Fatal Attraction" and being a living legend.
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00:00Kori, you know, it's, it's, we get really, really excited when Black Hollywood royalty is in the building.
00:08Yes.
00:09And I'm emphasizing royalty because not many can say that.
00:15Who's here, Kori?
00:16I usually say Nia motherfucking Long, but I won't do that.
00:19Please do that.
00:20Please do that.
00:20Okay, okay, okay.
00:21Because I feel like my realty's here.
00:24Because I got it.
00:25It's Nia motherfucking Long.
00:26Yes!
00:27In the building.
00:27I earned that title.
00:28I earned that.
00:30You did.
00:30You really, really did.
00:33Where do we begin?
00:34Nia, you have been everything to us.
00:38Your career, the longevity of it.
00:40I mean, I just can't remember a role, a movie, anything that I didn't cherish in some way.
00:46You know, even up until what you're working on right now with Fay O'Fair.
00:50You just stay busy.
00:52Listen, I have children to take care of, college tuition to pay for, and I like working.
00:59I like to feel like I've accomplished something.
01:02I like to feel like I'm growing.
01:03I love my art.
01:05I love my craft.
01:06I love, you know, the opportunity to meet new artists.
01:10And I also love this new generation of filmmakers and actors.
01:13I'm very inspired by them.
01:15So I'll never stop working.
01:17I'll always be doing something, even if it's like, I always have this joke where I'm like,
01:21one day I'm going to go move back to the islands and have a little, you know, juice bar and a little grill restaurant that just serves like, you know, fresh grilled fish.
01:32And I'll just be there with all my grandchildren.
01:34And I talk about it all the time.
01:36Maybe one day it'll happen.
01:37Who knows?
01:38You just took me there.
01:39I see that for you.
01:40I know.
01:40I totally am there.
01:41And I'm going to be, I'm going to come live next door to you.
01:43You totally can't.
01:44I'm going to, you know, I'm going to get lonely out there.
01:45You're like, I miss my girls.
01:48We will be there.
01:49You just took me there.
01:49The visuals.
01:50I want to go there with you.
01:52I, you know, this life has been so interesting and we've all had to, I feel like so many things are changing, but I do feel like mother nature is saying, wait a minute.
02:02Yeah.
02:02You've abused me.
02:04You've ignored me.
02:06And I'm now I'm going to force everyone to recalibrate.
02:10I'm going to force all of you to stop, to slow down, to get reconnected to truth and self so that we can recalibrate and redefine who we are and what our purposes are.
02:22Because people were just, I even felt the stress of just like this.
02:26Everything was just moving so quickly and the demands and the pressure to like do something and be something.
02:32And then social media, you know, when I was young, there was no social media.
02:36I'm still young.
02:36But when I was a girl, there was no social media.
02:39Truth.
02:40Yeah.
02:41I mean, I see it with my son who's 19.
02:44So he's right in that zone of, you know, of being sort of led by social media.
02:51And every now and then I have to just take the phone.
02:53He's like, I'm almost 20.
02:55You can't really take my phone like that anymore.
02:59But they get hooked.
03:01And we were all hooked.
03:02We needed to pause.
03:03We needed to pause.
03:05And we needed to think about what's important, what's not important.
03:10And everyone right now is equal.
03:16Yeah.
03:16You know what?
03:17You can't posture during COVID.
03:20Your ass is at home, just like my ass is at home.
03:24Okay.
03:24Not no meeting to go to.
03:26You don't have any place to go.
03:28If you do, it's a Zoom meeting and you're creating that schedule.
03:32So let's just, I feel like people were constantly hiding and ducking and dodging the truth and
03:40having these sideline conversations that were, you know, just manipulative and coming from
03:48a place of fear as opposed to being open and honest about their position, about the truth,
03:55about where I stand in the business.
03:56I don't, you know, I, I, my belief is if you work hard, the blessings will come.
04:04And if you're not with me, then get out of my way.
04:10If you're not with me, you don't get it.
04:11Please, bye, move.
04:13Because when I go to sleep at night, I know who I am in my soul and in my heart.
04:19And I know what I do to give back and to, I'm very giving and open and kind and loving,
04:27but I don't give that to everyone.
04:29And I'm a girl from Brooklyn, so you can't really fuck with me like that.
04:32That's all right.
04:33Well, I felt that in my soul for you.
04:35I did, I did too.
04:36You know what that is.
04:37That's that thing where it's like, wait, I'm sorry, what?
04:39Yeah.
04:40Yeah.
04:41Well, that leads me to ask, because you, the roles you take on are very special.
04:48So, but I'm curious now, what makes you say yes?
04:52But what made you say yes to being in Fatal Affair?
04:56One of the things that I really loved about Fatal Affair was that I had never done a thriller.
05:02I've never explored this genre.
05:04And coming off of The Banker, which was very heavy, political, important material,
05:12I wanted to do something light and something that was just pure entertainment.
05:19And I thought to myself, wow, I've never done a thriller.
05:22I should like do a thriller.
05:23And the next thing I knew, there was a script.
05:26The script was written for a non-African American cast.
05:30They changed it.
05:31I came on as a producer.
05:32I reached out to Omar Epps and I reached out to Stephen Bishop.
05:38And we worked on the script with the director and the production company and the network.
05:44And we got it to a place where we felt like it was real to us.
05:50And we had to change character names and some of the dialogue and some of the things that
05:57happened to be a little bit, because my thing is, is in thrillers, you always feel like,
06:01why is she so dumb?
06:04Like, run that way.
06:05Run that way.
06:06Don't go over there.
06:07Why is he so dumb?
06:09We see that I'm not buying certain things.
06:12And so, but there's also an interesting that happens in thrillers where there is a formula
06:18that people expect, whether it's conscious or subconscious, they expect things to happen
06:24in a certain way.
06:25So if you go too far away from it, you're losing them.
06:29So it's formulaic.
06:31It's a popcorn movie.
06:33It's, you know, scary and suspenseful when it needs to be.
06:37Omar is fantastic.
06:39This was my way of saying, hey guys, you know, the culture creators of the 90s, we're still
06:45standing.
06:45And that's one of the reasons I wanted to have him as my, as my leading man.
06:51You know, I won't give too much away, but you know, then you find out later, he's been
06:55loving you from afar for years.
06:58Right.
06:59For your character.
07:00So.
07:01And how easily that can happen.
07:03Yeah.
07:03Yeah.
07:03The stalker thing is real.
07:05I had a stalker who showed up at my house one time.
07:09Wait a minute.
07:09But it was a woman, it was a black woman who, and I hope she's like not watching this.
07:16Cause I'm like, please don't come back.
07:17Come back.
07:17I know.
07:18Last time.
07:19Um, and so I, I, I was not afraid.
07:25Cause I'm like, this is my property and my children are here.
07:28My family are here.
07:29And she, but the problem with her is she was so smart.
07:33Like she was a genius.
07:35So she actually went on social media and like created this whole fake story about me and
07:40my family and the FBI got involved and the NBA got involved.
07:46It was like, it was crazy.
07:47So, so I've been there, but I also, you know, I think the film brings up one important thing.
07:55And then that is check your mental health.
07:56Like if you're living in a state of delusion, then you need to get some help and some support.
08:01And, you know, this is obviously an extreme story of someone with mental health issues,
08:09but I do think since I have the platform, let's just say that I think black women are
08:15a lot more open to therapy than black men.
08:17It's true.
08:18I have a therapist who I love and it's important to me.
08:22And I, I feel like in order for us to, to recreate what it means to be family and for us to have
08:31those conversations with our children in a real way, there's a lot of healing that needs
08:35to be done with us as black women, with each other, with black men separately, and then
08:43black men with black women.
08:46Truly.
08:46And it all begins with conversation about these things that we have to talk about it
08:51and any means necessary.
08:54So if the movie sparks the conversation, right, if it's at dinner, no matter how we get there,
08:58we have to talk about it.
09:00And I love that we can do it through watching things on the screen, you know, and then what
09:04are you doing?
09:04You watch a great movie.
09:05You say, wasn't that crazy?
09:06Oh, actually, no, he wasn't crazy.
09:07He was disturbed.
09:09And you know what I mean?
09:10Like, and that's when, that's how those conversations happen.
09:12So thank you for that.
09:13It's very good.
09:14And I think there's a lot, you know, there are a lot of those stories that were women
09:18just hold it in and don't say anything because they think in some sort of way that they,
09:23they caused that by, you know, by being sexual beings.
09:28We are beautiful sexual beings and we shouldn't have to hide that to protect ourselves.
09:32That doesn't make any sense.
09:34I also love in the film how real the not so great marriage moment is, right?
09:39Like, you know, we understand the realities of that, you know, and your husband in the
09:44film saying marriage is a series, not one event, right?
09:48And there's going to be good days and bad days.
09:50And I really love that authenticity there because I think like you were saying, like
09:55making this movie, this plot your own, because so often we used to see, particularly with
10:00other movies, it's just like everything's cookie cutter, you know, everything's perfect.
10:03And I love the real life aspect there, particularly with marriage.
10:08I think, look, marriage is, love is complicated.
10:16Let's just start there.
10:18And then you start a marriage, which I've never been married.
10:22And there's a reason for that because I don't know that I need to say I do to prove to you
10:27that I love you.
10:28But also, what is marriage really, that you own me now and I own you?
10:34Well, I don't get that part.
10:36I understand the religious aspect of marriage.
10:39That is beautiful and it's fantastical and it's, you know, it's dreamy and it's, you know,
10:46every girl's fantasy to have that moment.
10:48But I don't know that I'm, I don't know that I need that to feel like I'm in a partnership
10:54that's working.
10:55But I do know that everyone in a long-term relationship has had the feeling where the
11:02spark is gone.
11:03Stranger mode.
11:04Stranger mode.
11:05Yes.
11:06And I, who are you?
11:07Yeah.
11:08And really feeling lonely in a relationship, which is the worst thing you can, the worst
11:14thing you can feel.
11:16To be in a commitment and you still feel lonely.
11:18I'd rather be lonely by myself.
11:20Because then you're kind of looking at the other person going, is he okay or is she okay?
11:26Is this a good day or a bad day?
11:28No one has time for that.
11:30So, so, um, that's where I think these two people are in the marriage, in their marriage.
11:35They're just, he's very loving in the movie.
11:38Like Steven is such a good actor and he was more loving than I actually thought he was going
11:43to be, but when we cut the film together, the network really liked that he was loving and
11:50kind to just sort of balance out the two different men in, in the, um, in the film.
11:55I did, I did appreciate that because I was expecting him to like stay, you know, stay
12:01angry when everything came out, but I was like, no, he's really still here for her.
12:06And it felt like, to your point, Charlie, it was felt really authentic and really beautiful.
12:11And then also very beautiful, that house.
12:15I mean, this, where is this at?
12:17Can I go quarantine there?
12:19How long did you live there?
12:20Like, can I have it?
12:22We shot there for a month and we, I drove an hour to get to work every day and it was,
12:30um, far, but once you got there, it was so worth it.
12:35And, um, beautiful house, beautiful house owned by a, a couple down there who had retired
12:43and, um, they were just renting their house and making a ton of money and a lot of stuff
12:49shoots there apparently.
12:50And, um, we were originally supposed to shoot the film back East.
12:55And then for whatever reason, I guess all the cast was here and it's like, we must shoot
12:59here.
13:00And I was happy for that because it's always hard balancing the kids and, and, and moving
13:04around.
13:05Um, so yeah, when I grow up, I wouldn't mind a house on the beach in Malibu.
13:10Again, I'll be your neighbor.
13:11Yes.
13:12I know we don't have a ton of time with you, but before we wrap this one, one thing I want
13:17to thank you for, right.
13:19Is I think we, Corey and I talk about this all the time on the show.
13:22It's so nice as black women to be able to see every side of ourselves on screen.
13:29Right.
13:29And every, you know, we all, sometimes I feel like there's eight black women in me.
13:32Right.
13:32And I don't know which one's going to come out.
13:34And I thank you for always choosing roles that no matter what your character is doing,
13:39we see some part of ourselves or our friend or our sister in those roles.
13:44Right.
13:44And I think growing up with that made us feel more comfortable being whatever one of those
13:49people or black women was inside of us.
13:52And I just want to thank you for that because it's really special to black women.
13:55That is like the most amazing compliment that I've ever received.
14:01And I, you're going to make me cry.
14:03Oh, it's so true though.
14:06No, because you guys, I worked my ass off for that.
14:11I want that for us.
14:13Because I know how difficult it is to maneuver in this world, looking the way we do, speaking
14:28the way we do, and all of it is beautiful, but the pressure to have to adjust who we are.
14:38Yeah.
14:39To be accepted wears on your self-esteem.
14:44It wears on your confidence.
14:45It wears on your sense of knowing who you are and your truth.
14:51What I think is great about right now is we're really in a time where we get to be whoever
14:58we want to be and who we really are.
15:00And there's a big fight ahead of us to keep battling and to keep using our voices and to
15:11keep being as black as we want to be and to, um, stand for Brianna Taylor and to, um, commit
15:28to ourselves in a way that our ancestors committed to their, to them, to themselves, to push forward.
15:38I am so proud of, of the community of, of young people who are on the front lines.
15:46I really am.
15:47I really feel like, okay, they learned something from the sixties and the seventies.
15:52They learned something, they saw what was happening, but they also are living it.
15:57They're also living and experiencing the discrimination and the world is opening up.
16:07And I'm, and I just hope that, you know, when I was a little girl, my mother used to send
16:13me to, we lived in Iowa, which was the Midwest.
16:16I was the only little black girl, um, at my school.
16:19Maybe there might've been like five black kids in a school with 300 kids.
16:24And my mother used to send me a school with this big Angela Davis Afro.
16:28And I remember hating my hair because all the, you know, we, the, we go, I was a brownie
16:35and we would go on these field trips and, and one of the field trips, field trips, super
16:40cuts, super cuts.
16:45And everybody got a field trip.
16:48Girl, everybody had their cute little fringe with their little highlighted golden locks.
16:53And the white girl that got me, I just remember her face.
16:58She was like, do and she did not know what to do with my hair.
17:04I was traumatized.
17:06And on the way out, as we were leaving the field trip, there was a bouquet of flowers and
17:11she took some baby's breath off because my hair looked crazy.
17:16She, she should have just gave me an Afro and called it a day, but she tried to curl it
17:20and blow dry and it just did not go well.
17:21But anyway, she took dried up baby's breath and put it in my hair to try to make me feel
17:27better.
17:27And I just remember feeling so unattractive, so ugly.
17:35I didn't like, I wanted to be different.
17:38I didn't want to be white, but I wanted to feel like I fit into my environment.
17:43And then came South Central Los Angeles.
17:50And then I was like, John, Angela Davis, Afro, Black Panther.
17:57And I just blossomed because my mother never wavered.
18:02Yeah.
18:02She taught me really young to appreciate everything.
18:06And my father too, who's a poet, everything Black was amazing.
18:10And the Black experience was not going to be like any other experience in this country
18:14and to stand for what you believe in and to know that the way you look is beautiful no
18:21matter what.
18:22And so to see where we are in the world now, I feel like, okay, thank you, mommy and daddy
18:27for giving me the tools to speak up.
18:31And the confidence.
18:32Oh, thank you.
18:33And we see that confidence.
18:34You made me cry.
18:35I know.
18:36That's what Charlie does.
18:38But, Nia, seriously, thank you.
18:40I mean, like, Corey and I, just thank you for choosing to come on the show and spend
18:44some time with us and open up.
18:45That's so cute.
18:47It was just a love fest.
18:49Anytime.
18:50I'll come talk to y'all anytime.
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