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00:00HEAD-HEAD-HEAD-HEAD-HEAD-HEAD
00:07Wow!
00:08Woo!
00:12Welcome to Out of Order,
00:16the show where comedians
00:19compete to find out
00:23who's the best judge of character.
00:28Right
00:58Okay
01:00But then Ula Polly
01:02What does Fern do first thing in the morning?
01:10Fern is a creature of habit
01:12It's gonna be, I think she showers and manifests in the downfall of her enemies
01:20I think that Fern's got a dark energy that I'm really attracted to
01:23So it's gonna be something in the occult
01:25It's not a dark energy thing
01:29No
01:30I was looking at my enemies on Instagram
01:32Lots of
01:33And then I was like, I wanna stop doing this
01:35So I started going to the park and trying to make friends with pigeons
01:39Which means I have to be at the same time every day
01:42And feed them in the same spot
01:44And my goal is to befriend a crow
01:48Basically, you had a creepy lady from home alone too
01:57You could not have got that Morgoth
02:02It don't work no point
02:05No
02:06Give it out for Captain Embrough
02:11Thank Judy for the early, early party
02:29Which celebrity first made Susie realise she was gay?
02:40She might have a look
02:42I'm gay
02:43Not me
02:46Someone like, I don't know, Annika Rice or something like that
02:49I do like a jumpsuit
02:51Julia Roberts
02:52Julia Roberts
02:53She's gorgeous, isn't she?
02:55Like, do you know what I mean?
02:56Was it Julia Roberts?
02:58It's close-ish, it was Kate Winslet
03:01Oh
03:03I, er, I went to see Titanic seven times at the pictures
03:07Really?
03:08Yeah
03:09Was that a particular scene?
03:10Well
03:11Of course there was
03:12Of course there was
03:13Of course there was
03:14I mean
03:15The booby one
03:16There was
03:17There was no need for the squeeze
03:21Why, Judy?
03:23You don't get a bite
03:26Just boo
03:30Our team
03:32And your ninos tonight
03:50It's Rose is regular
03:55So Jeff, Sophia and Stuart
04:06Come on over
04:08And let's make
04:10Some snap judgements
04:14People
04:15Go
04:16Go
04:21So, Catherine and Learning
04:24You had to decide if this lot have answered
04:30Yes
04:31Or no
04:33To some questions
04:36So
04:37Come up and
04:39Come up and
04:40do we change their underwear every day huh why is there not an option for no underwear do you
04:51wear no underwear um sometimes when you're trying to attract the local bird yeah i think of course
05:03joe you change your underwear every day do you see any reason why not yeah no i think look it's
05:09clean she's clean please yes joe yes i do um i think judy sometimes changes her underwear maybe
05:17multiple times a day i would say yes move on
05:25yeah yes we think sophia changes her underwear every day so yeah no i don't
05:33i can't change something i don't wear yeah yeah yeah
05:36yeah you say the way susie flounces around on stage that's not a two day
05:45yeah clean i'll do it twice clean ones for bed yeah
05:52i do yes oh and a full suit
05:55he looks clean and he has um an earnest kind face um that makes me think his pants are clean and he
06:07isn't distracted by any stickiness or a car so you're saying yes yes steward yes i do
06:22that's the question have they ever been suspended from school so joe i think no you just uh no i think
06:35you were always good at school joe no i haven't it depends on if seanapal was available when judy was in school
06:51not appropriate at the prom young lady she's probably had some sassy pubescent ears but not
06:57enough to get suspended no judy i never got suspended sophia well we both know she doesn't wear pants
07:06bit of a rebel where did you go to school sophia oh back home in malaysia
07:10i have been a guest in this country for 18 years and it is national past time to ask people where
07:29they're from so i think a maybe yeah yeah we think sophia has been suspended in malaysia
07:42no i haven't no
07:46suzy ruffle you're from portsmouth oh yes and whenever i do geeks there are portsmouth people are quite crazy
07:53i think suzy has not been suspended because there's no such thing in portsmouth
07:59yeah yeah i agree yeah so yes saying no
08:04suzy i was suspended
08:11full suspended for what um i called a teacher a wanker
08:14oh yeah i'm quite severely dyslexic and uh i misread the word organism
08:25i said orgasm yeah everyone laughed he dragged me out in front of the class
08:29told me i'd never amount to anything wow i called him a wanker they called my mum and dad and
08:36my dad looked at the headmistress and said that does sound like a top finger wanker would do
08:39it's not like a top finger wanker but it's not like a top finger wanker but it's not like a
08:50i can't see any bad school boy in his eyes because of time passing i went to a rather
08:55i went to a rather brutal boarding school in the 70s oh you can get suspended from boarding school for
09:01nothing okay so yeah so we do we do think stuart was suspended from boarding school
09:08no it wasn't no it wasn't oh i'm sorry well done cavern and phoen you got six rows
09:23by judy and susie short break cavern and phoen
09:30very good luck have you ever broken a piece of furniture during sex
09:41of course what a bed a wardrobe oh an exercise bike
09:49anyway someone was getting road
09:56joe do you know what joe's got a little there's a little glare in her eye yeah a little freak
10:04uh yeah yeah 100 yeah yeah yes yes i have
10:09i think probably not i think she might be strictly yeah strictly bedroom quite controlled so she would
10:18control that situation she's the boss the only thing she might break is him
10:26i'd say no
10:27no cat food um no i have never had sex and broken anything should be yeah this is a wild card
10:35i thought it should be like a yes yes let's do it should be yeah yes i have i don't have cheap
10:40furniture it was at a hotel oh she doesn't have cheap furniture just she just stays at cheap
11:02she's like strong yeah she's strong she can lift heavy shit right so that what does that mean
11:09i don't know i don't know i'm just trying to paint a picture of fans she lifting the partner she's moving
11:14the furniture yeah well i don't know she might be doing a bit of both she would like let me just
11:18kick the bed out the way yeah he said yes oh no no no no no no i haven't i'm a virgin if my parents are
11:31watching
11:34stewart is seems like a very nice guy but i just feel sometimes there's a little
11:42again
11:47and every now and then the beast comes out okay we're saying yes we're saying yes to the beast
11:55do they use images in their dating profile oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like
12:15you know i like yeah i like doing this that and the other yeah yeah yeah you know what happened
12:23oh capric i could see with like a cocktail emoji oh do you know what i mean like a diamond emoji
12:32yeah the money bag the money bag should we just say yeah let's say yes
12:37i have never in my life had a dating profile yeah okay yes yes i have okay i don't think
12:49fern's ever had a dating profile and she is a virgin maybe it's time for a dating profile
12:58so i'd say no no yeah no i've never been on a dating app yep
13:03yeah i think it might be a little bit playful could have been on dating apps let's go for it let's
13:07let's go for it let's say yes stuart no i haven't oh well done judy susie you got seven
13:23and at the end of that round judy and susie having the lead
13:37so after the break find out which of my regulars has a woolly measuring tattoo see you in the video
14:07i can reveal it is tracy kane
14:37oh my god
14:41i'm a size queen tell me how that works yeah well when you're online dating a lot of people
14:52lie about their height and they turn up and they're way shorter they also lie about their genitals
14:58you know so i thought well instead of judging them on seeing it's obviously different why not find out
15:05without them knowing well surely they notice when you're doing
15:17you can convert you know into different units so however many hands then it's just every inch
15:21what like measuring a horse
15:27i cannot believe that
15:33i know little penises at my gate but that's revolting
15:46what size are you looking for tracy about 10. tens that's a quarter meter dick in this country
15:53that's the size of the size of a small owl it's
15:59now we've applauded big dick
16:03it's time for another round
16:09so deborah myself and kiko billy and josey get up and play get in
16:21this round
16:33please you are all playing this round
16:35i want you to choose who you think have been fat the most and the least
16:45and the least right let's ask some questions
16:53kiko what kind of jobs have you had apart from princess of everything but i've done a lot of
16:59management and also i'm a fashion designer so i do a lot of freelance work that's what i would wear if i
17:07were in management yeah really you called her my mother of an actor
17:15i hope you had a lot of jobs billy uh well i'm an actor
17:19oh but actors don't really get sacked well you get sacked but you don't know you're getting sacked
17:24you know what i mean then you think that the show's done but the first six episodes where you
17:28was in it's been cut out yeah especially when you tell people watch me i'm going to be on the show
17:37i really love that rosie jones show with allison hammond
17:39like you think you've been caught out of the show
17:49suzy this love that you're supposed to have for me it's not i mean slightly a red flag at this stage
17:54you think you just call me suzy
18:00so what do you do bit of this bit of that
18:20i used to travel abroad to buy um clothes and stuff and i used to get them dead cheap and sell them off
18:26massive so expensive in that i've tried i've been a market trader i've been a rapper anything i can
18:35do i'm gonna have fun i'm down for it what i'm getting is that marcel has never paid tax
18:48deborah what kind of teenage jobs did you have i just worked in a hotel like as a breakfast chef
18:53that's important you can't afford to just be sacking the breakfast chef i can't see your name
18:58josie josie i knew it was josie
19:03she's also a lesbian so call her susie
19:11i feel like this is a trap for me josie rosie susie brown hair i can't keep up
19:19i'm also from portsmouth if that helps yeah josie you're from portsmouth right don't embarrass me
19:28gosport you're from gosport yeah jose has been fired the most
19:36josie has a sackable face yeah you know you're giving attitude to the boss you you're going on
19:42nights out you're turning up late josie and we love you for it but you're a loose cannon babe
19:47can i give you a little clue yeah one of the line of got sacked because they were four hours late
20:02because they were busy having sex that's billy because he looks proud as punch
20:13it was the greatest role of his life oh wait a minute did you say that josie's a lesbian
20:18four hours yeah yeah that's what i think that's what i think
20:22you've had enough questions time for you to make a decision please support you
20:34where would you ask on who you think have been sad the most and the least you did susie you're
20:47what first hiya darling hi babes yeah i was expecting it oh rosette's cute oh god
20:57i just i saw kindred spirit and yeah i just um the the the facial expression of josie is how i felt when
21:21i was doing customer service jobs and i just don't think that you could be sacked in a tiara
21:28i think akiko's born in management never never been sacked i think okay all right your answers are looked in
21:42i can reveal that the correct order from least to most
21:56it's billy never a kiko once josie five times deborah six times and ourselves i've been fired
22:18i've been fired for literally every job i've ever had in my whole life marcel are you having sex for
22:33four hours no that means no one got anything right why are you so shit
22:55i don't know hello hello and the end of that band judy susie you win the league
23:10time for the day see you in a minute
23:25welcome back
23:33one of my regulars is gonna tell you a fact and it's all to you to decide whether it's about them
23:47or actually about me
23:53give out take it away
23:58one of us lost our virginity in the disabled toilets of a retail store
24:03was it me or was it rosie what are you thinking i don't think you ever had a virginity
24:11but deval could you step forward a bit could you and rosie just do your sexiest little wiggle to entice
24:20someone into a disabled toilet and then we'll decide
24:32you want to go to the disabled toilets yes i do
24:51my turn
24:52and four hours later they were still there
25:13i've met rosie's parents and they seem like nice liberal parents that would let you lose your
25:35virginity in the house my parents are pretty liberal as well actually when i came out i sent my family a video of me walking out of a wardrobe and say that to me
25:45what is it in the department
25:55so what are you saying i think it's duvall oh we we think it's rosie okay
26:04yes what yeah well i can reveal the answer is
26:15i think it's a little bit of a grinder
26:26a little bit of grinder
26:27no we were shopping for seats for prom and it was in the house of fraser
26:31we get into the disabled toilet and then one thing led to another and yeah but
26:37what was i very well being disabled
26:42i mean afterward
26:45i've been snooping from my regular's google search history
27:15okay all the teams had to do is to match the pig to the prick
27:24if you see your search history here please come forward
27:38i can't believe the regulars let you into their search history i know i know this one is my favorite it is all cheese
27:56so he's got big cheese energy
27:58i love cheese what is this scenario where you would have to search red
28:03it's just on its own it's not like what's the best one for lasagna or what it's just on its own
28:08i feel like archie archie seems simple like that like
28:14i don't feel like tracy would be searching why is 69 a big deal i think she would know
28:20that's i think that one is true yeah me too tattoo removal why am i so aroused in the heat and then she's just farting while feeling horny
28:29it says why am i so gassy it's number two that's throwing me off because number two it just looks
28:35like someone who's got no character no personality just just and i'm looking at you three you don't
28:42seem you've got a lot of personality in character yeah no wait maybe one of them's just found out that
28:47they're lactose intolerant yeah and they're trying to work out if all cheeses have dairy and so i think it's archie
28:55yeah and they don't want to shit themselves yeah who's got a chewy face you think he's got a chewy face
29:12it's so look there's a mix can rabbits eat grapes healthy cookie dough there's such a mix of things
29:18i he looks like he's got a lot of stuff going on in his mind yeah and is he a hypochondriac how many
29:23times can i see that injure myself he just looks like he's got a lot of stuff going on right sit back
29:28down and make your decisions kevin burn what are you thinking i think number one is tracy number
29:41two is archie and number three is she number three is a very anxious person when you're stressed your
29:48eyes twitch uh and he's getting nervous about sneezing and then archie i think is just just he's not
29:56tasted cheese and he's looking for his first cheese to try tracy archie okay judy judy i definitely i think
30:09number three is shay i agree so you are saying archie tracy shay archie tracy shay right regulars please go and
30:26stand beside your shirt and stand beside your shirt it's straight
30:41see i told you you were simple brisley
30:46okay why are you so glossy it just depends on what i eat like i could eat like a packet of crisp and next
30:54minute i'm just like farting all day i don't think you need to worry too much about the 69th
31:02archie what's the what's tell us about this cheese i wrote a story made entirely out of cheese puns
31:08so i was getting the photos of the cheese to reference it and then i got distracted halfway
31:13through and started looking at latitude that means captain anthony got one right
31:23who did susie you got nothing right at the end of that round
31:33captain and fern are in the league
31:37after the break find out which of my regulars married the same man twice see you in a minute
32:00the same man twice
32:08oh welcome back to out of order before the break i actually went to my regulars married the same man
32:28and twice and it was shauna
32:36that's nice
32:38what happened so we got married the first time and then i divorced him about a year later
32:48and then um like everybody did during covid we huddled together and we huddled so much that we got married
32:55again and then uh well i divorced him again again you don't have to accept every proposal it's not like a glass of wine
33:07you can say no once in a while the big question is if you turned up today would you absolutely not
33:16because he's here
33:30you can say no once in a while the time for brosie let's bury me
33:42you can say no once in a while the time for brosie let's say no once in a while the time for brosie let's say no
33:53but all in this line up can remain they calm it's under pressure
34:04that line up do you remember when i fitted you all with a heart rate monitor earlier well we'll text who was the calmest by monitoring whose heart rate jumps the highest
34:32highest as you can see there's five mousetraps with some cheese on choose a mousetrap and pick up the cheese
34:52actually will fuck him a little bit
34:56right youtube i want you to secretly predict the order these five local men
35:09the traps are completely safe
35:14right
35:16like that sean
35:21ooooo
35:24okay sean
35:26you're first
35:30it'll be fine
35:33you don't need your fingers
35:37i think it's best if shauna loses her ring finger specifically
35:41it'll be fine
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41:26I would say it is
41:28day two of your period
41:29LAUGHTER
41:31Then John Father Lowe's...
41:35LAUGHTER
41:43We have an order!
41:49So, it is...
41:51Sean...
41:53Then Nakey Cow...
41:55Then Tiwo...
41:57Then Susie...
42:00And Fernie's out with her!
42:07Judy, let's see how you did.
42:16No dance to Judy!
42:20Catherine...
42:22Let's see if you did any better.
42:29Oh!
42:30Oh!
42:31Oh!
42:32One, mate!
42:33One point to Catherine!
42:39So, that's it!
42:41Catherine and Fern have nine points.
42:46And Judy and Susie...
42:49Have seven!
42:51Which means...
42:53Kevin and Fern are this week's winner!
42:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:00APPLAUSE
43:01Let's hear, Kevin and Fern.
43:04Ladies and gentlemen, the incredible fangirls!
43:10CHEERING
43:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:12The surroundings...
43:14...that's the frangirls...
43:15..leasing them...
43:17..leasing them all!
43:21..leasing them all!
43:22Bye!
43:23Come on!
43:25Come on!
43:53M.T.V.
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