- 5 hours ago
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00.
00:05You
00:10You
00:15You
00:20You
00:25You
00:30You
00:32You
00:35You
00:37You
00:40You
00:42You
00:43You
00:44You
00:45You
00:45You
00:47Listen, honey, you've been tossing a tenny all night
00:50So how about a ring, Roy? Explain that you're not up to it. I'm sure you'll understand.
00:53I am what for it?
00:54No, a bit of crayon
00:55From the older space, I've been good to go.
00:57Okay, Bernie, grief is a process, okay? It takes time, there's no...
01:00There's no hiding from it, there's no shame in it.
01:02Yeah, and I could spike till I drop, but it changes now.
01:05So listen, how about I pick up the quads, lighten your load?
01:07No, I was missing in action the first time round. I've got a...
01:10A lot to make up for.
01:11Yeah, only that's ancient history. Okay, you're a wonderful mother, you're a wonderful grandmother, but...
01:15You are not a superwoman, you're getting grief-muzzed out, right?
01:17Look, how about I do me, and you do you?
01:19Yeah, because...
01:20I am worried about you. Honey, I'm worried.
01:25And you keep up this pace, you're gonna hit a wall, you...
01:27Look, this has got to stop.
01:29Serious.
01:30Seriously.
01:34You know best.
01:35Sure.
01:36I can't...
01:37I can't...
01:38It's your favorite.
01:39I can't...
01:40Okay, thanks.
01:41I can't...
01:43Hello.
01:44Yeah.
01:45I can't wait.
01:46Hey, hey.
01:48Hey, hey.
01:49Hey, hey, hey.
01:54Hey.
01:55Hey.
01:57Hey, hey.
01:58Hey, hey, hey.
02:00Hey.
02:01It's good.
02:02Hey.
02:03Hey.
02:04It's so strange seeing the bishop up there, no Billy.
02:07What with him being daddy, you mean?
02:09Cross observation, I'm sorry.
02:14I don't know what you meant.
02:16Hey Bernie, you still on for tonight? Starting off at the Rovers.
02:19Copy that, Sal.
02:20Great.
02:21She just needs to let off a bit of steam.
02:22Yeah.
02:23Just what the doctor...
02:24All right.
02:25All right.
02:26All right.
02:29Hi.
02:30What have you two been up to, you dirty tickets?
02:32A lady never tells.
02:34Summer was in floods.
02:35I'm just down to bed.
02:36Oh, she broke my heart.
02:38I'm tired.
02:39The heart was just stricken, wasn't it?
02:41Yeah.
02:42Bernie's been bottling it up.
02:44Well, there's no one size fits all.
02:46Yeah, true.
02:47But, I mean, dad did...
02:49Text.
02:50Say to keep an eye on her.
02:52Right.
02:53I am off-scale.
02:54Okay.
02:55I've got a banging headache.
02:56Try not to fall apart without my laters.
02:59All right.
03:01And, yes.
03:02Okay.
03:03It's good.
03:04It's good.
03:05It's bad.
03:06It's not bad.
03:08Nothing.
03:09It's bad.
03:10It's bad.
03:11You're right.
03:12You're right.
03:13Another day, you're right.
03:14You're right.
03:15I have no idea.
03:16You're right.
03:17It's bad.
03:18It's bad.
03:19Nobody's wrong.
03:20You're right.
03:21I want to be fine.
03:22Hopefully, your wife has a nice window,
03:23I'm happy.
03:24You're right.
03:25I have no idea what you want to do.
03:26It's not Aussie.
03:27All right.
03:28How was your shift?
03:29Oh, you know, made toasties, poured coffee.
03:33Snipe tables.
03:34And so what's with the early dark then?
03:36How are you feeling?
03:37Like I'm going to...
03:38I'm going to punch the next person who asked me that.
03:41Sorry I'm being a cow.
03:42No, I'm sorry I'm...
03:43I'm clearly testing your patients.
03:44Listen, are you sure you don't want me to pick up the kids?
03:46No, they're expecting me.
03:48I do get on with you, Vat.
03:49Okay.
03:50Well, listen, how about when you get back, I...
03:53Fix you a really piping hot bath and make you something lovely to...
03:58No, I haven't got time.
04:00I'm going to jump in the shower.
04:01I'm going out with the girls.
04:04What, like another late one?
04:06Fingers crossed.
04:08What's that face for?
04:09Honey, you are eating like a bird.
04:11You're barely sleeping.
04:12Well, if I'm keeping you awake, I can...
04:13I can't sleep in Adi's room.
04:14Please.
04:15My point is that I really don't think another boozy...
04:18night is the best idea.
04:19Dev.
04:20No, the girls will understand.
04:22Okay.
04:23But he was so precious to you.
04:24He was a special link to Paul.
04:26But yes, there was an ordeal for everyone.
04:28But this brave-faced routine of your...
04:30Look, everyone is at me, right?
04:32Everyone has got...
04:33an opinion.
04:34Honey, I am not everyone.
04:35You're suffocating me!
04:36BBC.
04:39Now, just...
04:40Isn't that just like grief-talking?
04:41No!
04:42No!
04:43It's me talking!
04:43And you not listening!
04:44That's purr!
04:45That's purr!
04:46That's purr!
04:48Yup.
04:50Bye-bye.
04:53You
04:58You
05:18I would never pursue a married woman or anyone with a...
05:23I can vouch for that.
05:25As can I.
05:26Alice is the one who did all the chasing.
05:28It was intended that we meet last week and the flowers were...
05:33an apology for cancellation.
05:34A sweetener.
05:35He was being a gentleman.
05:37Because that's who he is.
05:38She never even mentioned me.
05:43Thirty-one years.
05:46Three kids.
05:48He was...
05:49He was...
05:50He was...
05:51He was...
05:52He was...
05:53Can I offer you a cup of tea?
05:58I'm sorry.
06:01I'm sorry.
06:01I'm sorry.
06:03I'm sorry.
06:04I'm...
06:04He was...
06:06He was...
06:08And he was...
06:09I hate January at the best of times.
06:11Poor old Billy dying.
06:14Todd's fiancé did such a lovely eulogy that I didn't take.
06:19Such a lot of love in that room.
06:21I told Ben we're having a happy hour.
06:24All spirits are half-price.
06:25Men?
06:26Yeah, Mum, get them in.
06:28I'm going bargain.
06:29Sometimes it pays to drink yourself, stupid.
06:31You're back.
06:33Ka-ching, ka-ching.
06:34And the first round is on the house.
06:36Oh, nice one!
06:37You, Maggie, are an officer.
06:39And a gentleman.
06:40Pretty sure I can have you cancelled for that.
06:43Right now, what's everything?
06:44Oh, a J&T ice and slice, please.
06:46A large body, please.
06:48You know, it's well pro-
06:49Sesame Grief.
06:49A large glass of wine.
06:51Okay.
06:53I'm sorry I never-
06:54met you or Paul.
06:55By all accounts, a lovely fella.
06:57Yeah, he was.
06:58He was, yeah.
06:59Hey, come on, girls.
07:00That booth has got our name on it.
07:03Can you-
07:04Can you, er, get a wiggle on, please, Glenda?
07:06I'm parched.
07:07Oh.
07:09Dear, dear, I gotta keep up.
07:14There, it's not like you.
07:15Oh, no.
07:16I've been done in.
07:17It's the funeral.
07:19Yeah, thank you for everything.
07:21Oh, it was an honour.
07:23I mean, it doesn't-
07:24Come on, I have a warm taste, too.
07:25Yeah, yeah, I know.
07:26I know what you mean.
07:29Do you know what?
07:30If ever you need to unburden yourself, to be honest.
07:34I just want to get off me face.
07:35Relate to that, right?
07:36Well, I better keep on coming and-
07:37Back in a minute.
07:39Oh, I can help you out there, Sal.
07:41How about a pint of lime and soda?
07:44Maggie, darling, that is not gonna line your pockets.
07:47It will line your stomach, though.
07:49Oh, I know you're hurting me.
07:51We're all at it, too.
07:54Well, even Bill Gates has got his problems.
07:56I never make-
07:59It pulled, but I really liked Billy.
08:01You have to hang on to the fact-
08:04But they're in a better place, man.
08:06What about the coach analysis?
08:07Ha ha ha!
08:09Maggie's only trying to be kind.
08:11She's in there.
08:13Do you reckon?
08:14They're at peace, and we're left to get on.
08:19She's like a fucking fridge magnet.
08:22Penny!
08:23What?
08:24Pipe down.
08:26Pull your eyes out.
08:28Show some-
08:29Show some respect.
08:30I'm sorry.
08:31I didn't mean to upset you.
08:33No, you build-
08:34You're holding your part, love.
08:36You tell Gemma that I need me bad.
08:39Don't get worried, Sal.
08:42It's no biggie.
08:43No, no, no.
08:44No, no, no, no, no, no.
08:49No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:54No, no, no, no, no.
08:59You look awful.
09:04You look awful.
09:04You look awful.
09:04Oh, no, no, no, no.
09:08Nanti.
09:09See how we get, pal, and whatever she's having.
09:14Ooh, a pint of cyanide, huh?
09:18Failing that, I love her.
09:19A whiskey and ginger, please.
09:21Drowning your sorrows?
09:23Me.
09:24What do you mean?
09:27Life is art.
09:29When you die.
09:34Oh.
09:35Bene.
09:39I find out my wife has been cheating on me.
09:45Aw, mate.
09:47That's some weirdo-
09:50In an apron.
09:53He says he did.
09:54He didn't have no clue about me.
09:56Get rid of her.
09:58Just like-
09:59Just like that.
10:00Just like that.
10:04I thought we were soulmates.
10:06Well, it's not looking good, Mal.
10:09Can't lie to you.
10:12I love that.
10:14Maybe it's just a blip.
10:19You think?
10:21No.
10:23But you bought me a drink and-
10:24You look miserable, you see?
10:25Mm.
10:26Mm.
10:27Mm.
10:28Mm.
10:29Mm.
10:30My son and his husband, they were-
10:33No.
10:34I've gone for by you.
10:35Biggest Borla Grady fan in the world.
10:37Aye.
10:40Aye.
10:41Good.
10:42Now my Paul and his Billy.
10:45The love between them two.
10:46You could feel it.
10:47The love between them two.
10:48You could feel it.
10:50And they were put through the ringer.
10:52But every battle-
10:55Made him stronger.
10:58Lucky the-
10:59The love between them.
11:00Um.
11:01Oh, yeah.
11:02Yeah.
11:03They love-
11:04Looked out, all right.
11:08My round, please.
11:09One.
11:10One.
11:11Two.
11:12Two.
11:13Two.
11:14One.
11:14Two.
11:15Three.
11:16Four.
11:17Five.
11:18Says she's looking over.
11:19Four.
11:20Two.
11:21One.
11:22Three, three, three.
11:23Man.
11:24Thurgood's head's head.
11:25One.
11:26Two.
11:27One.
11:28Two.
11:29Three.
11:30Two.
11:31Two.
11:32Two.
11:33Three.
11:34Two.
11:35Three.
11:36Seven.
11:38Three.
11:39Four.
11:40Three.
11:41Seven.
11:42Three.
11:43Five.
11:44Three.
11:45One.
11:46Two.
11:47One.
11:48Four.
11:24Hey, should we go clubbing?
11:27We're fine in.
11:29Come on, I've not been to Equinox for donkeys.
11:31Guys, sorry, we only use this for fighting.
11:34Here's the music that's on PA, all right?
11:36Yeah, it's the phone police.
11:40Hey, have you been in a fight?
11:43No.
11:44We've got radio by burglars.
11:45Are you kidding?
11:47Do you want a drink?
11:49Hey, hey.
11:50No, Tar.
11:51And to be honest with me, I think you've probably had nothing.
11:55To be honest, I'm only just getting started.
11:57She's fine.
11:58She's fine now.
11:59She's fine.
12:00I'm looking at her.
12:01I'm going to go.
12:02Bernie.
12:03Bernie, Bernie!
12:04I don't have to ask you to leave otherwise.
12:05Come on.
12:06Ooh, management have spoken.
12:08Come on, Bernie.
12:09Best not kick the horn.
12:10It's never.
12:11Oh, he bore off.
12:14Right, okay.
12:15Come on, that's it.
12:16You've got to go.
12:17Now, please.
12:18Go, you've got to go.
12:19No, no, no.
12:20Now!
12:21No, just think of this, right, as a mini-
12:24wake.
12:25I had my son-in-law yesterday.
12:29No.
12:30Hey, I'm really sorry about that, okay?
12:32But I'm going to ask you to go.
12:34I'm sorry, but please, please, please, please, please.
12:38Right, please do.
12:39All right.
12:40All right.
12:41All right.
12:42All right.
12:44I will see you around, pal.
12:49Oh, man!
12:50Oh, oh, oh!
12:51Yeah, and you've been wifey off.
12:53Is that it?
12:54Well, Clubland beckons and, erm, I'm gonna get off my cake.
13:00Sounds good to me.
13:03Well, let's do it.
13:04Drink the minibar dry first.
13:07Room 59.
13:09Oh, my God.
13:10Oh, my God.
13:12Oh, my God.
13:14Oh, my God.
13:15Oh, my God.
13:16Oh, my God.
13:19Oh, my God.
13:20Oh, my God.
13:21Oh, my God.
13:23Oh, my God.
13:24Oh, my God.
13:25Oh, my God.
13:27Oh, my God.
13:28Oh, my God.
13:29Oh, my God.
13:30Oh, my God.
13:31Oh, my God.
13:33Oh, my God.
13:34Can't remember much of it, man.
13:36Stop it!
13:39Right, I'm going to be back before you can say...
13:44...Hacienda.
13:45Ah!
13:47The legendary!
13:49Right, good to know, so shall we take him before you...
13:54...and send me into a car.
13:55Ah!
13:56I love it when you take me down.
13:59Right, I'm in a safe space...
14:01...with my new best mate...
14:03...my robot...
14:04...how long before he...
14:09...not long.
14:11You know, a couple of hours of oblivion...
14:14...you'll do me nicely.
14:15You've been so well, I'm back.
14:17Well, I'm not back yet, love.
14:20No, no, no, no!
14:21Mal, Mal!
14:22Just...
14:23...just be in the...
14:24...moment, mate.
14:26Right, just...
14:27...just chill, kid.
14:29Alright.
14:34Alright.
14:35Alright.
14:36Alright.
14:37Alright.
14:38Alright.
14:39Alright.
14:40Alright.
14:44The ceiling's like a kaleidoscope.
14:50For real?
14:51Nah.
14:52Just trying to be cool.
14:54What in those slacks?
14:57Aye!
14:59If you're mocking me...
15:00...you'll have to pay a forfeit.
15:02What I got about...
15:04...four quid in me purse.
15:05So go and knock yourself out, mate.
15:09I'll settle for a kiss.
15:12I'm married.
15:13So is my wife.
15:14Brilliant Krampo style.
15:15Nice one.
15:19Don't sound so surprised...
15:21...I can parry with the best of you.
15:23No?
15:25How about a cuddle, then?
15:26And we can both do it at once.
15:29Do you know...
15:31...that vodka's calling me.
15:34As you make me make me blush in...
15:35...no?
15:39Hey, is Benny alright?
15:44We've got a kebab!
15:48Hi, Daddy!
15:49It was a little bit cold for Newcastle, but we wanted to feel the mud, don't we?
15:53Yeah!
15:54Mum, we got you a kebab!
15:56No, no, no, she's not with you.
15:59No, no, she left ages ago.
16:01Oh, maybe she's gone to your house another little...
16:04Coddle with the baby!
16:06Aw, could it be us?
16:07No, she wouldn't do that, would she?
16:08No!
16:09No, she had a bit of umbrage with Maggie or something, she said something.
16:13What?
16:14Yeah, it was...
16:14Something or nothing, she just had a lot to drink.
16:16Oh, we all are free!
16:18Hi!
16:19Ellie!
16:20Why didn't you tell me?
16:22Because she told me!
16:23No!
16:24Why not to?
16:25Yeah, alright ladies, listen, I'm sure she's okay.
16:26Let's just give her a ring, yeah?
16:27Oh!
16:28Oh!
16:29She's not...
16:30I reckon that dealer in the dog and gun...
16:34sold us a couple of chanks.
16:36I'm starting to wonder.
16:39coming now...
16:41But maybe you did so.
16:44Oh, he was a little f**k.
16:48Yeah, he was kind.
16:49And his dad fuller was lazy.
16:55He was a great stepdad.
16:58He was a good boxer.
16:59It's terrible coke.
17:04Tell me about your living wife.
17:08She could be in her mind.
17:09High five.
17:11She's probably there right now on the corner.
17:14All these years.
17:16Three decades.
17:18That's an achievement.
17:20Only a fair happy years.
17:22Twenty-fire happy years would be something to celebrate.
17:24Otherwise, it's just a matter of not being unhappy enough to get divorced when you're slowly...
17:29wade your way through 25 calendars.
17:33Parents.
17:34Evenings.
17:35Christmases with the in-laws.
17:38Ouchies.
17:40And dispatches.
17:42I'm glad you found my baby.
17:44These little lies are funny.
17:46Hmm.
17:47I don't think I ever went to a parent's...
17:49this evening.
17:51Eh, not a one.
17:53Raven.
17:55Yeah.
17:56Yeah, my kids don't spend around me.
18:00It was a total disgrace.
18:02Well, it's not just out of you.
18:05What about your husband?
18:07A million in life.
18:08I let my kids stay on my level.
18:09Yeah, it's terrible food.
18:10Yeah, it's terrible stepdads.
18:14I'm hideous.
18:18I didn't grow up.
18:19Until I was 50.
18:25I'm sorry.
18:26I'm sorry.
18:28I'm sorry.
18:29I'm sorry.
18:30I did the same thing.
18:31I didn't have a faint heart.
18:32Fair maidens.
18:33You're looking...
18:34So sad.
18:39My kids deserve better.
18:41I'm sure you did your best.
18:44Oh, you're gorgeous.
18:47A proper f**k.
18:49I was an unfit mother.
18:54I'll never get the chance to make it up to him.
18:59I'll never get the chance to make it up to him.
19:03I'll never get the chance to make it up to him.
19:04Billy was the love of his life.
19:09Billy was bold.
19:15He was the loveliest.
19:17He was the kindest.
19:19He was a little piece of my ball.
19:24He loved me.
19:28He loved me.
19:29He's gone.
19:34They're both gone.
19:35They're both gone.
19:39He loved me.
19:44hey darling it's uh me again
19:49in chief
19:49I love that you're partying
19:51seems like I have a knack of making
19:54things worse right
19:54anyway listen it's uh late
19:59she's very early and you haven't even got your big coats
20:04so please come home or let me know where you are
20:08and I'll
20:09come pick you up
20:09I love you
20:14I love you
20:19I've had some complaints about the noise.
20:25Some people should get a life.
20:27It's two o'clock in the morning, Bernie.
20:29What's it happened?
20:34We just got wrecked together.
20:39It's not in my business.
20:44I'm gonna let Debbie see you, all right?
20:45She's gonna be in at seven.
20:46I'll be long gone.
20:50Nothing happened.
20:52Just took a pill.
20:53It's not a big ass.
20:54I didn't hear that.
20:55Anything else you've got goes down the bog.
20:57We only had two.
20:59Oh, yippee.
21:01Ryan!
21:03Don't snap her.
21:04What happened?
21:05I don't know.
21:06What happened?
21:08I don't know.
21:09Don't recall there's nothing.
21:12Just...
21:13Don't hold me.
21:14Don't burn me.
21:19I don't know.
21:21I don't know.
21:22I don't know.
21:23I don't know.
21:24I don't know.
21:25There's a big queue out here.
21:26You're right.
21:30I didn't know I did.
21:31I didn't know I did.
21:32I didn't know what to say!
21:34Oh
21:39Oh
21:44Oh
21:49Oh
21:51Oh
21:53Oh
21:54Oh
21:56Oh
21:58Oh
21:59Oh
22:01Oh
22:04Oh
22:06Oh
22:08Oh
22:09Oh
22:11Oh
22:14Oh
22:19Oh
22:21Um
22:25Yeah
22:27Oh
22:33Oh
22:37Oh
22:43Oh
22:45Oh
22:47Oh
22:48Oh
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