Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 10 hours ago
Not everyone is as competent as the Skywalkers in the galaxy far, far away...
Transcript
00:00From clueless background characters to bafflingly misplaced antagonists, Star Wars
00:05certainly has no shortage of pointless and useless characters.
00:09And that's what we're here to-
00:10I'm Jules, this is whatculture.com, and these are the 8 most useless Star Wars.
00:158. The Emperor's Royal Guards
00:18Although they search-
00:20If they personally look intimidating, the Emperor's Royal Guards are rather pointless, at least in the-
00:25original trilogy. First appearing in Return of the Jedi, these Imperial Guards did virtually-
00:30nothing other than stand in the corner of the second Death Star's throne room and then promptly leave on-
00:35their master's request, ultimately doing nothing to stop the Emperor's demise at the hands of a redeemed-
00:40Skywalker. Now saying that, these guards get a much better treatment in the other pieces of Star Wars.
00:45media, particularly the Star Wars Legends continuity. Obviously, these guards exist to-
00:50protect Palpatine and his identity as a Sith Lord. Since the Emperor can't go around personally killing his enemies-
00:55as Palpatine wanted to hide his Sith mastery from the galaxy. During the Galactic Civil War-
01:00a group of guards killed a large number of spies and were also instrumental in snuffing out traitors in the-
01:05the Empire, lent by Grand Moff Trakta, who conspired to kill the Emperor. Even so-
01:10the Emperor's Imperial Guards remained the silent protectors of their master, but unfortunately didn't do-
01:15much in terms of actual protection. In Star Wars Rebels, the young Jedi, Ezra Bridger-
01:20quickly disposes of a group of Imperial Guards after he refuses to help Palpatine gain control of the world-
01:25between worlds, proving just how ineffective they can be.
01:28Number 7. Zam Wessel
01:30Zam Wessel
01:31Zam Wessel was a bounty hunter who was tasked to assassinate Padme Amidala by-
01:35Jango Fett. However, her assassination attempt and subsequent escape were foiled by Anakin Skywalker.
01:40and Obi-Wan Kenobi, mostly because of the moronic decisions that Zam made. To start-
01:45Zam uses some poisonous bugs to secretly enter Amidala's room through a window in-
01:50A-
01:51A-
01:52A-
01:54A-
01:55A-
01:56A-
01:57A-
01:58A-
01:59A-
02:00A-
02:01A-
02:02A-
02:03A-
02:04A-
02:05A-
02:06A-
02:07A-
02:08A-
02:09A-
02:10A-
02:11A-
02:12A-
02:13A-
02:14A-
01:50A-
01:51A-
01:52A-
01:53A-
01:54A-
01:55A-
01:56A-
01:57A-
01:58A-
01:59A-
02:00A-
02:01A-
02:02A-
02:03A-
02:04A-
02:05A-
02:06A-
02:07A-
02:08A-
02:09A-
02:10A-
02:11A-
02:12A-
02:13A-
02:14A-
02:15A-
02:16A-
02:17A-
02:18A-
02:19A-
01:55force, including two Jedi. It's rather confusing why the assassin chose to attempt to infiltrate
02:00the bedroom with the bugs rather than just shooting the Senator with a projectile rifle from the safety of an adjacent
02:05building or something like that. Moreover, rather than moving into a better position to shoot the Senator,
02:10after the bugs have been killed, Zam instead chooses to destroy the droid which Obi-Wan was holding on.
02:15And then flee in her speeder. Stranger yet, Zam also made no use-
02:20of her advantages during her escape from Anakin and Obi-Wan. Being a Claudite, she has the-
02:25ability to shapeshift into anything or anyone, so when she runs into a bar after crashing her speed-
02:30her, it's fair to assume that she would just shapeshift into somebody else and hide in plain sight from the Jedi.
02:35However, Zam stays in the same recognisable form and, worse yet, attempts to gun down-
02:40Anakin rather than discreetly just escaping the bar. With these constant, stupid decisions-
02:45it's no wonder that Fett would go out of his way to kill Zam for her incompetence.
02:506. The Emperor's Advisors
02:51The Emperor's Advisors may be the only characters in Star Wars-
02:55that if they were removed entirely from the franchise, absolutely nothing would be different.
03:00Appearing alongside the Royal Guards in Return of the Jedi, the Emperor's Advisors offered nothing other than-
03:05following the Emperor around and occasionally spoke with him off-screen. Oddly enough, these advisors only-
03:10appear in a few throwaway scenes in Return of the Jedi before they vanish from the story and are presumed dead-
03:15when the Rebels destroy the Death Star. Like every other minor Star Wars character, these advisors are-
03:20given a proper story and explanation in the expanded universe. During the invasion of Naboo, a group of-
03:25senators formed an inner circle around Senator Palpatine and were drawn closer to him during the last-
03:30few years of the Republic. By the creation of the Empire, these senators, now called Palpatine's advisors-
03:35were given bureaucratic responsibilities, such as overseeing the Empire's administration with-
03:40some even scouring the galaxy for Sith artifacts. Still, none of these characters exist-
03:45in the films, with the advisors instead being rendered as nothing more than creepy followers of the-
03:50Emperor wearing strange purple robes. Number 5. Virtually every Imperial officer-
03:55Now, unfortunately for Vader, basically every one of his underlings are, well, completely useless-
04:00the Empire's officers and admirals can't seem to make any decision that will lead to an Imperial victory-
04:05just going from blunder to blunder. Peter Cushing played the villainous Grand Moff Tarkin in-
04:10A New Hope, and although Cushing brought in authoritative intimidation to the role, Tarkin is as short-
04:15cited as he is evil. After the events of Rogue One, the Death Star plans have been stolen by-
04:20the Rebels, with Tarkin assuming the Rebels would analyze the plans to find any weaknesses in the Superweb-
04:25that they could exploit. But instead of analyzing the Death Star for any potential weakness, Tarkin instead did-
04:30nothing to ensure the safety of the battle station, which would eventually become his downfall. A New Hope also-
04:35saw the likes of Molkive Wormis, who oversaw the attack on Tante 4 at the beginning of-
04:40the film. But for some reason, Wormis chose not to destroy the escape pod that C-3PO and R2-
04:45Deto were hiding in, justifying it that there were no life-form readings coming from the pod.
04:50Strange choice for the commander to disallow the destruction of the escape pod, since destroying it was an easy-
04:55task to perform and had no drawbacks at all in firing on the pod. However, by choosing not to fire-
05:00he allowed the Death Star plans to slip through the Empire's fingers and ultimately was somewhat responsible-
05:05for the Death Star's destruction. In The Empire Strikes Back, we also got to see Admiral Ozel-
05:10who ignored Vader's request to bring the Imperial invasion fleet out of hyperspace away from Hoth-
05:15and so alerted the rebels' defense measures, who were then able to activate the planetary shield-
05:20by coming out of hyperspace too close to Hoth. This boneheaded decision prevented the Imperial-
05:25Navy from bombarding the planet from the comfort of space and so lost the Empire the chance of destroying-
05:30the whole rebellion with ease.
05:324. Claude
05:33One of the strangest characters-
05:35introduced in The Rise of Skywalker was Claude. Claude is a mechanic who was on board the-
05:40Millennium Falcon during a Resistance mission to the Sinter-Glacier colony to gain intel from her first-
05:45called a spy. After the Falcon was attacked by TIE fighters during the mission, Claude took it upon himself to fix-
05:50the ship as best and as quickly as possible. Apart from having only a few seconds of screen time-
05:55what makes Claude so useless is his design. Being a mechanic, it's essential to have arms to-
06:00repair and replace ship carts and other devices. Bafflingly, though, Claude has no arms and he's only-
06:05shown to stare at the sparking mechanisms on the Falcon closely before the camera quickly pans away from-
06:10leaving the audience completely perplexed as to how an armless alien will repair the Millennium Falcon.
06:15He might-
06:15He might be able to move things with telekinesis, but there's still a lot that he won't be able to do on the ship, or that-
06:20will require intense concentration and show limits to his powers.
06:23Meaning that, unfortunately, as much beloved-
06:25as he is by the fans for his ridiculous design, he's probably quite useless in his actual-
06:30job role.
06:313. The Knights of Ren
06:33Apart from Supreme Leader Snoke-
06:35The Knights of Ren became a hot topic when they were introduced in The Force Awakens. The film only contained a-
06:40short scene with the group, as well as briefly mentioning them occasionally during its runtime. And so, it was up to-
06:45the following two pictures to explain and expand on these mysterious warriors. However-
06:50WALT
06:52WALT
06:55WALT
06:56WALT
06:57WALT
06:59WALT
07:04WALT
07:05WALT
07:06WALT
07:09WALT
07:11WALT
07:12WALT
07:13WALT
07:14WALT
07:14than the warriors we see in the sequels.
07:16The knights were infamous throughout the galaxy,
07:18pillaging every planet.
07:19They visited and were known to be dark side practitioners,
07:23with the group eventually being hired by the group.
07:24Crime Syndicate, Crimson Dawn, to challenge Vader and Sidious.
07:28Even so, the film...
07:29...demonstrates just how useless the Knights of Ren are.
07:32Other than temporarily capturing Chewbacca,
07:34the Knights of Ren...
07:34...failed to seize the crew of the Falcon
07:36during the events of The Rise of Skywalker
07:38and finally died at the hands of...
07:39...of a redeemed Kylo,
07:41achieving absolutely nothing throughout the sequel trilogy.
07:442. Captain Phasma
07:46When Game of Thrones actress Gwendolyn Christie
07:48signed on to play...
07:49...a villain in the sequel trilogy,
07:51it rightly generated a lot of anticipation amongst Star Wars...
07:54...fans.
07:55Ultimately, though, Captain Phasma
07:57had no more than a few minutes of screen time
07:59across the Force Awakens...
07:59...and The Last Jedi,
08:01in which we learn absolutely nothing substantial
08:03about the character before she was...
08:04...quickly killed off.
08:06In an interview with The Times in 2018,
08:08Christie revealed that there were no solid...
08:09plans to include Phasma in the last instalment of the sequel trilogy,
08:13much to her dismay,
08:14as she...
08:14...in truth,
08:16I don't know.
08:17And that scares and upsets me
08:18because I really want to see this character...
08:19I'm actually very invested in the character now.
08:22Since Phasma was excluded from The Rise of Skywalker...
08:24...her arch-enemy stormtrooper defector Finn
08:27had no stake in the plot,
08:29with his character...
08:29...being also rendered virtually meaningless
08:31without having Phasma to go up against.
08:34Whether she was included...
08:34in episode 9 or not,
08:36Gwendolyn Christie deserved far more
08:38than just standing around,
08:39snarling...
08:39...at Finn for just a brief amount of time
08:41before being bested in a very quick fight
08:44with the resistance here.
08:44And number 1,
08:46Supreme Leader Snoke.
08:48Easily the most useless character...
08:49...in Star Wars,
08:50Supreme Leader Snoke
08:51had virtually no positive attributes.
08:54When The Force Awakens...
08:54was released in 2015,
08:56fans were gripped by this mysterious ruler
08:58of the First Order.
08:59And were quick to start speculating
09:01about who the character really was.
09:03Some believed that he was Darth Plagueis...
09:04...Palpatine's old Sith master,
09:07whilst others believed that he was
09:08a bitter failed clone of Luke Skywalker.
09:09...or possibly even a vengeful Mace Windu.
09:13So come the theatrical release of the last...
09:14Jedi in 2017,
09:16fans were hugely disappointed
09:17to learn nothing about Snoke,
09:19who was a...
09:19...orruptly killed off
09:20without addressing anything
09:21to do with the character.
09:23In a 2021 interview with Cinema...
09:24...and Andy Serkis,
09:26Snoke's actor,
09:27voiced his own disappointment
09:28with the character.
09:29Serkis...
09:29I was devastated when I read that script
09:32because it was going so well.
09:33I was like,
09:34man, this is a...
09:34boss character.
09:35I'm going to love playing...
09:37Oh, what?
09:37You're kidding me.
09:38What?
09:38I was like,
09:39okay...
09:39Is this a good idea?
09:41In The Rise of Skywalker,
09:43Snoke is revealed to have been a puppet...
09:44of the undead Emperor Palpatine,
09:47who had been ruling the First Order
09:48through Snoke the entire time.
09:50What is most peculiar about Snoke
09:52is why he even exists at all.
09:54If Palpatine was strong...
09:54enough to control this bio-engineered creature,
09:57the question of why he didn't rule
09:58the First Order himself...
09:59since he always intended to reveal himself
10:01to the galaxy,
10:02rears its ugly head.
10:04Obviously, the answer to this...
10:04this question is...
10:05Disney had no plans for the sequel trilogy,
10:08so when they killed off Snoke,
10:09they had...
10:09written the franchise into a corner
10:11without a central antagonist
10:13to pit our heroes against.
10:14Had that...
10:14the House of Mouse planned the sequels
10:16out from the start,
10:17either Snoke would have had
10:18a compelling and understandable backstory...
10:19or he wouldn't have existed at all,
10:22with Palpatine firmly taking his place
10:24from the beginning.
10:24of the trilogy.
10:26And there we go, my friends.
10:27Those were the eight most useless
10:28Star Wars characters.
10:29I hope that you...
10:29enjoyed that,
10:30and please let me know
10:31what you thought about it
10:32down in the comments section below.
10:33As always, I've been Julesy.
10:34Follow me over on Twitter
10:35at RetroJ,
10:36but the O is a zero.
10:38We can swing by Instagram,
10:39where it's the...
10:39same handle,
10:40RetroJ,
10:41but the O is a zero.
10:42Hope to see you over there.
10:43But before I go, my friend...
10:44I just want to say one thing.
10:46You, yes, you listening to this video
10:47are not useless.
10:49Sometimes we...
10:49we can be too hard on ourselves,
10:51and I just want to remind you
10:52that you are a big ledge.
10:53You deserve happiness.
10:54and success.
10:55You deserve love and respect.
10:58And don't let anything
10:58or anyone else tell you otherwise.
10:59I want you to go out there
11:01and absolutely smash it today.
11:03I believe in you.
11:04As always, I've been...
11:04Jules, you have been awesome.
11:06Never forget that.
11:07And I'll speak to you soon.
11:08Bye.
Comments

Recommended