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00:00What are you doing?
00:27I've been answering my calls.
00:28The Ant's been in all night.
00:30Is it true or not?
00:32Morning.
00:33Morning.
00:34Hey, I've been meaning to ask this lad something for a while.
00:37How fast can you run 5k?
00:39I've started jogging again, you see.
00:41Oh, that's great.
00:42Yeah, well, I'm trying.
00:44I recently brought the half an hour barrier.
00:46Not with these, obviously.
00:481629.
00:491629?
00:50Are you joking?
00:52Wow.
00:53Hey, I should borrow it.
00:551629, that's ridiculous.
00:57Look, I've been doing this for four years.
01:06Out of the 100 or so young athletes I've coached, probably half of them had a crush on me.
01:12Boys mainly, but girls as well.
01:17Lee was particularly bad.
01:21He was clingy.
01:24Messaging me all the time.
01:26Chocolates, the expensive kind.
01:29He, erm...
01:30He sent me a picture with his top off, so I had to be firm with him.
01:35He didn't have sex with him.
01:38No.
01:39You didn't kiss him.
01:40Get your bus.
01:41Let me in.
01:42Look, Leanne's in the shower.
01:43Take two minutes.
01:44Hello.
01:45Oh, hiya.
01:46Sorry, it was open.
01:47Is everybody decent?
01:48Hang on a minute.
01:49David's naked in the kitchen.
01:50What?
01:51Jokes.
01:52Don't do that to me.
01:53I was just on the way to the hospital.
01:54I wanted a word with your sister.
01:55Ah.
01:56Hey.
01:57Do not get into bed with Carl Webster.
01:58Literally or otherwise, he is a bad, bad seed.
02:01Oh, you think that's enough to put me off as my type, bad seeds?
02:04Really?
02:05Interesting.
02:06Oh, no.
02:07She left her husband for him.
02:08Turns out he was a diddling bloke down road.
02:09Bloke?
02:10No.
02:11No.
02:12No.
02:13No.
02:14No.
02:15No.
02:16No.
02:17No.
02:18No.
02:19No.
02:20No.
02:21No.
02:22No.
02:23No.
02:24Carl's bi.
02:26Sexual?
02:27No lingual.
02:28Carl's he's bisexual.
02:29Right.
02:30Quick look.
02:31Women often miss the warning signs because we're too busy getting charmed and flattered
02:35or whatever, but, well, I am the warning sign.
02:38Mm.
02:39Take it from someone who knows.
02:41Understood.
02:43Is that my cap?
02:45I'll leave you to it.
02:46See ya.
02:47Ooh.
02:48It is.
02:49I'm off too.
02:50Oh, give Harper a kiss from me.
02:51I will.
02:52Hey, don't forget what's said about the griddle.
02:53Switch on the left.
02:54The right.
02:55You kidding?
02:56No.
02:57Turned up in a halfway house.
02:58Library cards in the pocket as well.
02:59Look inside.
03:00Paul's ashes?
03:01What the odds?
03:02Morning, Roy.
03:03Morning.
03:04Morning.
03:05Morning.
03:06Morning.
03:07You don't know who that belongs to, do you?
03:08Found it in the living room before.
03:09I think it's Daniels.
03:10Oh, Daniels?
03:11Talk about down with the kids.
03:12I know.
03:14I know.
03:16I'll give it back to you.
03:17Oh, right.
03:18Hi, Sam.
03:19Hi, Sam.
03:20There you go.
03:21Hey.
03:22Fair place to whoever stole the bag.
03:23Mm-hmm.
03:24It's like a message from someone.
03:25I mean, I don't want to say God, but...
03:26Billy.
03:27You don't know who that belongs to, do you?
03:28Found it in the living room before.
03:29I think it's Daniels.
03:31Oh!
03:32Daniels?
03:33Talk about down with the kids.
03:34I know.
03:36I'll give it back to you.
03:37All right.
03:38Hi, Sam.
03:47There you go.
03:48Hey.
03:49Fair place to whoever stole the bag.
03:51Mm-hmm.
03:52It's like a message from someone.
03:53I mean, I don't want to say God, but, er, Billy, perhaps?
03:57Yeah, that's what I thought.
03:58Mm-hmm.
03:59The universe...
04:02There's nowhere else like it.
04:07Right, listen.
04:08I've got to get to the wholesalers.
04:09You okay?
04:10Yeah, of course.
04:11Cool.
04:23We're all out.
04:24Ken bought the last tin yesterday.
04:26Apparently, Cassie is a fiend for him.
04:30Sorry, we're all out. Ken bought the last tin yesterday. Apparently, Cassie is a fiend for him.
04:45Alice suffers from travel sickness.
04:47How far she had to come?
04:49From the South Lakes. She's visiting a cousin while she's down. An auntie too, I believe.
04:54Killing two birds with one stone.
04:56Three birds. Roy, the cousin, the auntie.
04:59Yeah, I thought I'd give her some as a gift.
05:02Dev sells them.
05:03Since when?
05:04Since they started flying off my shelves. And he's undercutting me on the price of sticky tape as well.
05:08Oh, you must feel very nervous.
05:10Oh, not at all. We make up with a raft of superior stationery.
05:14I meant Roy.
05:15I am somewhat.
05:18Blind dates are tricky.
05:20Well, it's not as if he doesn't know her. I mean, all that correspondence that's passed between them, it's extremely romantic.
05:26Have you sent each other pictures?
05:31As in, see what you're going to get.
05:33Of course they haven't.
05:35Roy would consider that vulgar and imagine Alice would too.
05:38We are pen pals attending a convention.
05:41I'm sure it will all be perfectly civilised.
05:44Are you going to make a move on her?
05:46Brian!
05:47Well, if the opportunity presents itself, an arm around the shoulder, a peck on a blusher cheek...
05:51Well, she might not use blusher.
05:53If she's made the effort, you'll know it's on.
05:57Lipstick, eye shadow.
06:00Not every woman feels the need to disguise herself.
06:04The plainer her appearance, the more confident she'll be in your company.
06:07Make-up is a tell.
06:09Au naturel is a tell.
06:11Scrubbed clean like a farmer's wife.
06:13Gussied up like she's standing at the docks at Marseille.
06:16That's not what I was suggesting.
06:18I am merely championing the cause of restraint.
06:22You don't have to tell him that.
06:23His middle name is restraint.
06:25Well, let's hope it's reflected in his soulmate.
06:28I think we might be overestimating the significance of the preliminary encounter.
06:33Rendez-vous.
06:34Dalliance.
06:35Meet cute.
06:35They've already met.
06:36Writing is a meeting.
06:38It is of sorts.
06:39IRL.
06:39What?
06:40In real life.
06:41Writing is real life.
06:43Texting is real life.
06:45Alice Cropper.
06:46Doesn't that sound fabulous?
06:48Oh, she's not bound for the West End.
06:51She's going to a bat forum at the Rotary Club on Ferry Lane.
06:55Oh, now.
06:56Is there anything else I can get you wrong?
07:01Hold your skull.
07:03I thought I left it on the bus.
07:06No, I left it in the end.
07:07I told her it was Daniel's.
07:08Do not acquire it in a while.
07:10I don't.
07:16Oh, Roy.
07:18Roy Sturton.
07:20Roy Crawford.
07:21Hello.
07:22And what have you come in for today?
07:24Bread?
07:25Milk?
07:25Champagne?
07:26Travel sweets.
07:27Oh.
07:31The kind that Brian stocks.
07:33Do you know, Ken Barlow bought three tins the other day.
07:37Apparently, Steve's girlfriend is addicted.
07:41Oh, what is she called?
07:44Tyrone's mum.
07:46Cassie.
07:47Ding, ding, ding.
07:48We have a winner.
07:49Are you all right?
07:53No.
07:54I need to choke my levels.
07:56I think I'm hyper.
07:57A hypo.
07:58I need my insulin.
08:03There's a young fella to see you.
08:06Leanne's boy.
08:09Hey.
08:09Hey.
08:11Right, well, what do you want?
08:12I'm going to go running.
08:16What?
08:16Whose jacket is that?
08:20It's mine.
08:21Why?
08:22Miss Walsh said it was Miss Rosborn's this morning.
08:25Well, yeah, but I was out training and she was cold, so she borrowed it.
08:30What, then lied?
08:31I don't know.
08:32Maybe she thought it was Daniel's.
08:33Or, I mean, Mr Rosborn's.
08:35Or maybe she just forgot.
08:36Are you and Miss Walsh having an inappropriate relationship?
08:39You sound like you're about 60.
08:41What does that even mean?
08:42A sexual relationship between an adult and a minor.
08:46A minor?
08:47A minor.
08:47You know, someone under the age of consent.
08:49Okay, right.
08:50Well, first of all, I'm 16.
08:51And second of all, you think I'd have a chance for Miss Walsh?
08:54She's absolutely roasting.
08:55And don't I like you don't agree with me?
08:57You really think she'd go out with me?
08:58I never said you guys were going out with each other.
09:00How long has she been coaching you?
09:01Okay, right.
09:01You're starting to get on my nerves now.
09:02I can help.
09:04You know, you'd better not mention this to anyone.
09:06Mention what?
09:07This silly idea.
09:09I'm just trying to be your friend.
09:10Yeah, well, I'm all good for nerd little weirdos.
09:12Thanks.
09:13That's illegal.
09:14I can tell a teacher and we...
09:16Tell a teacher what?
09:17Like she's praying on you.
09:19And maybe she prayed on the other kid too.
09:21You're not telling any teachers this.
09:22In fact, you're not telling anyone this.
09:24Understood?
09:25You will get through this because, well, people do.
09:47Perhaps counselee would help.
09:50I don't want to talk about it.
09:51Well, I know it's very difficult, but alcohol may not be the answer.
10:00I'll tell that to Nina, dragging me out yesterday.
10:04There were plenty of other things that you and Nina could have done.
10:09The People's History Museum.
10:11John Ryland's library.
10:12The Museum of Science and Industry.
10:14Yeah, because I'd go and look at some old cogs and pistons and then everything will be okay.
10:23Nina was in your shoes.
10:27I know you.
10:29I'm sorry.
10:31I didn't mean to be facetious.
10:34Look, Roy, you must have things to do.
10:36No, we'll sit here as long as you like.
10:44Ladies!
10:45Carl, what's the capital of Slovenia?
10:48Er, Ljubljana.
10:50Suits you.
10:51What does?
10:52The apron, the grease, the air, a panic.
10:56I'm not in a panic.
10:57Can you spell it?
10:58Yeah.
10:59Well, Stephen O'Donnell said you burnt his toast, so...
11:02What can I get you?
11:05Whatever's good.
11:06Is this supposed to be like banter or something?
11:10She's got your number.
11:12She has my number and she texted it at one in the morning.
11:16Maybe I should read it out loud, make these three blush.
11:19Or maybe you should go somewhere else.
11:22Er, what did Abby say then?
11:26I've had my filial type.
11:28Homewrecker's with the sideline and two-timing.
11:31Although he's cute, that bloke with number three.
11:33I'll give you that.
11:33Maybe I'll get my bacon or tart somewhere else.
11:37Ah.
11:37Is she not a fancier second date?
11:43Thanks for the intel.
11:47Spoken to Roy.
11:48What a snitch.
11:52How many you had?
11:55Two, three.
11:58Four.
11:59But I've put the money in the tail.
12:00Look, you can check.
12:02Go on.
12:04No, don't fire me.
12:05You're not ready yet.
12:06I don't need time off.
12:09I'm an old pro at this.
12:11At least I've run out of people I can lose now.
12:14Apart from Todd.
12:16Maybe I'll put a curse on them all.
12:19Maybe I've hexed them without knowing it.
12:21Look, I'm not firing you.
12:22I want you to grieve for as long as you need.
12:24And then come back.
12:24I can bet when you are ready.
12:26No, I don't like grieving.
12:31Will you give that to Bernie?
12:35Are you sure?
12:37Something right?
12:40She'll appreciate that.
12:41I don't think she's coping very well.
12:42No, I want to work, Deb.
12:43I am saying no.
12:45Because of a few little cocktails.
12:47Go home.
12:48Please.
12:50Okay, before anybody else comes in and sees you like this.
12:52This is too late for that.
12:54Sally's been in.
12:55I'm fizz.
12:56Word will spread.
12:57The devil I was drinking on the job first his own daughter and now me.
13:01So I'm being nice to you.
13:03You're not, though, are you?
13:05You're saying go home, stare at the ceiling.
13:09I just want things to be normal, Deb.
13:14But why didn't you tell me he was there when Leanne gave you my jacket?
13:16I didn't think.
13:19Well, now he knows you lied.
13:22Well, we've covered our tracks.
13:24They're not going to find anything incriminating.
13:28Unless they check the CCTV at various hotels in Bering Watchdale.
13:34What if Sam tells Leanne?
13:37He will.
13:37I'll talk to him.
13:38And say what?
13:39I don't know.
13:40Sound him out.
13:41We need to shut this down.
13:44Shall we do the quiz?
13:45What, just the two of us?
13:47Sport, packaging, fast food.
13:50Could do with our Joseph or Kit.
13:52He's good with cock programmes and true crime.
13:54He knows who Jack the Ripper is.
13:57Whisper in some here.
13:58I promise I won't tell.
14:00No way.
14:01Oh, that looks very secretive.
14:03No.
14:04Are we quizzing?
14:05We're considering it, aren't we?
14:07Just the two of you?
14:08I might text Gary.
14:09Gary, the trophy's as good as yours.
14:13You'll have to rearrange.
14:15I assume you told her.
14:16Of course he told her.
14:17And she'll be all the more happy when she finally makes his acquaintance.
14:21He's made her acquaintance.
14:22In person.
14:23Oh, not this again.
14:25You'll have to send her some flowers.
14:27No doubt in for business.
14:28That would be a thoughtful gesture.
14:31Travel suites are a thoughtful gesture.
14:33Except you lack the foresight to restock them.
14:37A consignment is on its way.
14:39She'll think you're hard to get.
14:42And that's what plays very well with us women folk.
14:46You know, us local business leaders should stick together.
14:52Business leaders?
14:53I like that.
14:54Well, that's if you even have a business.
14:56After Leanne Battersby's finished rearranging the pieces on the checkerboard.
15:01Sorry?
15:02Oh, I can see she hasn't put you in the picture.
15:05Now, why does that not surprise me?
15:07About what?
15:09Didn't she just offer to buy me out of my own pub?
15:13And with what money, I hear you ask?
15:16She offered to buy into the Rovers?
15:19I can see I've spoken out of turn.
15:21And when did she make you this offer?
15:23All the sisters.
15:25Hatching their little schemes behind our backs, around their cauldron.
15:31And what did you say to her?
15:32Very rarely do I use curse words.
15:36I leave it at that.
15:43Shower's powerful, isn't it?
15:52Oh, it's a belter.
15:55So can you use this room any time you like, then?
15:58Kind of, but don't be broadcasting it, eh?
16:01What's this gibberish you're reading?
16:10You mean, it's German?
16:12Oh, that's German.
16:14And you understand it?
16:16Er, yeah.
16:17Yeah, I do.
16:21So.
16:22Did you enjoy my little performance earlier?
16:25Which one?
16:27The one in the cafe.
16:28Okay.
16:31What do you think?
16:35Well, I don't.
16:36What's it to them?
16:37Well.
16:39I won't get the third degree of my sister this way.
16:42And it keeps your ex off our case.
16:44Anyway.
16:46Isn't this your speciality?
16:48Keeping things under wraps.
16:52And we can have a lot more fun this way, too.
16:54Yeah.
16:54What's up with you?
17:04Nothing.
17:06Well, some had sup.
17:07I'm not that daft.
17:08I know that look.
17:09I used to catch it on Si's face all the time.
17:12And it always meant that he was bottling something up.
17:15You're not being bullied, are you?
17:17Yeah.
17:19Are you sure?
17:20Are you sure?
17:22Okay.
17:24Well, listen.
17:24You do know that you can talk to me about anything, don't you?
17:28And when I say anything, I mean anything.
17:32And if you don't want to talk to me, then you can always talk to your dad.
17:36Or to you.
17:38Or a teacher.
17:40Or even a policeman come to that.
17:42Right, I'll go and get you some asaposies.
17:47We make loads today.
17:49Leanne, can I have a word?
17:52No way up.
17:53What have I done now?
18:03Cast have been her work here and still one is waiting to be served.
18:06Oi!
18:07I heard that.
18:09Ladies and gentlemen, you know the drill.
18:12No phones on the table or underneath it.
18:15No calling a relative, a friend or an enemy.
18:20And no bringing your phone into the bathroom.
18:24And remember, there is a prize for best team name.
18:29Got it?
18:30Loud and clear.
18:30I'm nervous.
18:31Yeah.
18:32No, it's just that, hon.
18:34You made the right call.
18:36There'll be another date with Alice, I'm sure.
18:39Then you'll be in Wonderland.
18:40Perhaps, perhaps not.
18:44Question one.
18:46The cardboard box was invented by English company M. Treverton & Son in the 19th century.
18:54But in which decade?
18:58We're in.
18:58When was it, Kirk?
19:05Question two.
19:07Swatbird!
19:08I didn't go behind your back.
19:10I was just sounding her out, that's all.
19:12And if she'd said yes?
19:13Well then, obviously, I would have spoken to you and we would have come to some arrangement.
19:17What sort of arrangement?
19:19I'm not saying I would have gone through with it.
19:21You would have been gone like a shot to run that bug with your sister.
19:24Whoosh!
19:24Oh, Alia, come on.
19:25It's not that simple.
19:26And if I had gone down that path, then obviously I would have given you first dibs.
19:30I thought I found someone I could trust.
19:32Yeah?
19:32Well, I tell you, someone you can't trust, that duplicitous hag on the corner.
19:36I'm not sure she's the duplicitous one.
19:38All right, look, I sounded her out, she said no.
19:40End of story.
19:41There was no need to trouble you with this news and she knows that.
19:43Yeah, well, I'd rather people were just straight with me in the first place.
19:45Have I ever caused you any bother?
19:47Ever?
19:48Since I was first with your dad?
19:49Have I ever been anything but decent to you?
19:52Yeah, exactly.
19:53And all she's done since the minute she got here is stir the pot.
19:56You ask Glenda, or Sean, or my sister.
19:58Yeah, I know. She can be tricky.
20:02OK, I'm not saying I couldn't have gone about things a bit differently.
20:05And for what it's worth, I'm sorry.
20:06But come on, Alia, this is me you're talking to.
20:09I wasn't about to leave you high and dry.
20:11You promise?
20:13Yeah, I promise.
20:16Hi, Sam.
20:18So are you playing rugby this afternoon?
20:20Prop a little fly-half in the making, aren't you?
20:22I hear you've been having some funny thoughts about me wearing a jacket.
20:39This is a bit awkward, isn't it?
20:41I tell you what, let me treat you like an equal for a moment.
20:44Some boys get crushes on me.
20:52Some of those crushes are bigger than others.
20:56He told you.
20:59I beg your pardon?
21:00I, erm...
21:06I'm his coach.
21:08I've known him for years, so we had a laugh about it.
21:13But if anyone really thought there was something going on,
21:18then it wouldn't be very funny, would it?
21:23Do you understand?
21:24Do you understand?
21:35Yeah.
21:38I start for Blakeman.
21:54I'll see you next time.
22:20Bye-bye.
22:22Bye-bye.
22:22Bye-bye.
22:24Bye-bye.
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