00:00Once upon a time, I dated someone that I was absolutely crazy about, and he would play with my affection, you know, gas me up, tell me one thing, and then act completely differently.
00:17And it took me a while to get away from that.
00:20Years later, I see who he's married.
00:27It makes sense.
00:28It was never me.
00:30Right.
00:31Yeah.
00:31Like, it was never going to be me.
00:34I don't fit into, there's nothing about me and this person that, like, is even remotely similar.
00:42Like, oh, it wasn't personal.
00:47No, it's like their whole internal complex back history issues.
00:52Like, no.
00:52This was never your person.
00:54Like, never.
00:56Yeah.
00:57Duh.
00:58But it does take years to figure that out, I think.
01:02Especially the problem is, I think, for, I'm speaking personally, and I imagine also for, like, a lot of women, I find these instances don't tend to happen as a one-off.
01:12That's the problem.
01:13I think, like, these things can happen to you, like, a couple of times, and then, obviously, you're going to start being like, wait, this has to be me.
01:19Because it keeps happening.
01:21But then, yeah.
01:24Sometimes you're a fetish for someone.
01:28Yeah.
01:29Or a diversion.
01:31Or a diversion.
01:32Yeah.
01:32It's hard to be, like, dazzling and spectacular and, you know.
01:38Yeah.
01:39And getting what you might perceive to be the short end of the deal.
01:42Mm-hmm.
01:43Yeah.
01:44Yeah.
01:44That being the second choice or, like, again, being the distraction for, like, temporarily.
01:48Right.
01:49Yeah.
01:50That's exhausting.
01:51It is exhausting.
01:52Mm-hmm.
01:53It is exhausting.
01:54I thought for a minute that I might be on some kind of list.
01:59I thought I had, like, an invisible tattoo on my head.
02:03It said, like, unavailable men.
02:05Come this way.
02:06Mm-hmm.
02:08But, yeah.
02:08I think you just realize, like, it's the pattern of behavior in the men.
02:12It's not you.
02:13It's not what you're doing.
02:13Right.
02:14Because you're not seeking these people out.
02:16It's not like I'm kind of a homing missile for idiots.
02:20You don't have a bullseye on your back.
02:23No.
02:23But you do feel like that way, don't you?
02:25You can.
02:26Yeah.
02:26You can.
02:27Do you date?
02:28Are you, like, dating at the moment?
02:30I'm in a very happy place.
02:32That's good.
02:33Yeah.
02:33Very happy.
02:35Again, that thing with fate.
02:37Like, things do you just, I feel like, wind up the right way for good people?
02:41I agree.
02:42I think I needed to.
02:43I had jumps of faith.
02:45Like, huge leaps.
02:46I left where I was living and moved to Tennessee.
02:51Wow.
02:52I mean, I'm from the East Coast.
02:54Dilly.
02:54I had moved to the West Coast, you know, to all the cosmopolitan areas, I suppose.
03:01And then I moved to the South.
03:04Big adjustment?
03:05Huge adjustment.
03:07One was the taxes.
03:09I was like, yes.
03:11Is it what's better in Tennessee?
03:12Way better.
03:13Way, way, way better.
03:14Which was one of the reasons why I moved there.
03:16Because I was like, you know, I'm trying to duck a little bit if I can.
03:22But I ended up meeting my person there.
03:25And I have a new capacity.
03:30I'm different.
03:31I understand what it is I truly want and what I truly need.
03:34And I think when we decide to love someone, we need to be fully adored.
03:44Fully adored.
03:46Not just in the daytime.
03:48Yeah.
03:48You know?
03:49And not just when it's just you two.
03:51Exactly.
03:52Exactly.
03:53Someone that is proud to.
03:56And my grandmother always said, your mate has to love you just a little bit more than you love them.
04:02Oh, I love that.
04:04Just a little bit.
04:05She also said that women, that the man is the root of the flower and the woman is the plumage, the blooming, the petals.
04:18And he must always be looking up at her.
04:21Yeah.
04:22That's the way it goes.
04:23And I like that.
04:24And that's where I am now.
04:26Being adored.
04:27Being adored.
04:28I think that that's top on the list for women.
04:35And I feel like that's not been happening for so long.
04:37And we have all these think pieces and articles about why women are choosing to be single.
04:42And it's kind of obvious in that women are killing it in their personal lives, in friendships, in business, in everything, in looking after themselves as well and valuing their own time.
04:54And respecting themselves.
04:56And I feel like I keep reading these stories about women who walk away from relationships realizing that they've spent so much time worrying for the guy, you know, worrying about his needs and his insecurities as well.
05:10And also just speaking from experience, like being with people that can't handle what I do and like how much I care about my work is a thing.
05:18But you have to kind of be fully focused on what they're doing and validating them all the time.
05:24But you're not getting anything in return.
05:25Nope.
05:26So, yeah.
05:28We all do this.
05:30We all do this.
05:31There's this, you know, this way of thinking that our grandmothers had and maybe our mothers had.
05:37It's a conditioning.
05:38It's time to break the cycle.
05:41You must be adored, worshipped even.
05:46Why not?
05:47And that can be reciprocated, can't it?
05:49It's fine.
05:50Absolutely.
05:50It's better when it's reciprocated.
05:53It's so much fun to adore someone that adores you too.
05:58That is the best part.
05:59Like, that's a good time.
06:01I mean, that's a good time.
06:04It's reason to giggle.
06:05It's reason to scoot when you walk.
06:07It's reason, whatever these people are doing out here at home, you know, when we walk out of this door together, you know, that knowing there's a thousand good-looking, attractive people that I meet on a daily basis.
06:24And I, hey, I'd like to see you too.
06:27You look good.
06:28Flowing's fun.
06:29But you're not doing those things.
06:32You're not doing those things.
06:33I think, this is just my opinion, take it for what you want.
06:38I think that you have the right to choose how you deal with everybody.
06:47You're that powerful.
06:50You're that focused.
06:51You're that beautiful.
06:53You're that voluptuous.
06:55You're that delicious.
06:56That you choose how you deal.
07:00And until you see something, until you see, okay, something that is consistent, until you see consistency, you treat them how you treat them.
07:17And this is, like, the whole attitude you bring to this record.
07:20Serve my purpose.
07:21I love it.
07:22Serve my purpose.
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