- 6 weeks ago
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00:00Ooh, yeah.
00:04Is everyone okay?
00:08What do you think, Michelle? Is that appropriate?
00:12It's a lot. The farting is the line that everyone
00:16in this, everyone's fucking sick in this whole house.
00:20It's not just me, okay? Everyone is fucking sick.
00:24I'm gonna shoot my pants.
00:28Mmm.
00:32Mmm.
00:36Meow.
00:38Bumblebee tuna. Let's fucking go.
00:58I'm Matty Matheson, and today on Just a Dish, a family secret recipe I've been making for, you know, just...
01:16We're gonna be making an iconic, iconic dish.
01:22My grandmama, my nanny passed it down.
01:26Are we gonna make the best dish in all of America?
01:30Chicken and dumplings.
01:32Yes, we are.
01:34I have so many memories making this dish.
01:36What's better than biscuits and gravy?
01:38All in one pot.
01:40Matheson family secret.
01:42Chicken and dumplings.
01:44I got a couple chicken legs, because you know what?
01:46Nobody wants fucking stupid chicken breasts.
01:50Chicken breasts can go fly a kite.
01:52Chicken breasts suck.
01:54Chicken breasts are for losers, and that's okay, though, because losers need to eat.
02:00We like beautiful braised chicken legs, and we get to nibble on the bones.
02:04Chicken legs are what we're gonna do today.
02:06We put the bones in, because there's lots of flavor.
02:09And we're gonna brown them up in our pan, and we're gonna start building this whole little world into...
02:14What was that?
02:16Did you drop something, sound guy?
02:18What'd you drop?
02:19A quarter?
02:21Did you know eating carrots actually isn't good for your eyesight?
02:27Did we talk about this before?
02:29That was propaganda.
02:30What are you thinking about it?
02:31PA, not PA?
02:33You don't believe that that was propaganda?
02:35You think carrots are good for eyesight?
02:37I think that there's something in carrots, yes.
02:39There's a component.
02:40You think that there's a component?
02:42There's something in this that makes your eyes better?
02:44L-carotene or something.
02:45I'm not sure what it is.
02:46Not L-carot.
02:47You do CrossFit, don't you?
02:48No.
02:49What do you do?
02:50Resistance training?
02:51I do nothing.
02:52You do nothing?
02:53Seems so.
02:54Okay.
02:55Shall we carry on?
02:56You want to finish that carrot?
02:57You got...
02:58I'm gonna go there, or...?
02:59Why?
03:00Can you hear it chewing?
03:03Well, I can hear you breathing.
03:05How about that?
03:06I'm gonna start with a nice olive oil.
03:08It's been my family recipe for about 75 years.
03:11We're gonna cut up the chicken leg, one by one.
03:13Longer, sorry.
03:14375 years.
03:16And the thing that I love about making chicken and dumplings like this is...
03:22They got the bone, they got the skin, you get to suck on it, you get to chew on it.
03:26And now I'm willing to give it to the world.
03:29And it just makes it that much easier to enjoy.
03:36I had a burden that I just needed to share it.
03:40Burden.
03:41And also, you know, I was saying the thing about the chicken breasts are all losers.
03:44If you want to make this with fucking chicken breasts, or...
03:47Like, boneless, skinless chicken breasts is, like, the exact same of, like, some fucking...
03:53Just a Karen.
03:54You know?
03:55That's what it is.
03:56A Karen, she goes into a butcher shop, she's like,
03:58I want boneless, skinless chicken breasts!
04:01I want to steam it with no salt, and I'm gonna eat it up!
04:04Yummy, yummy!
04:05Yeah, that's what they deserve.
04:07They deserve that, okay?
04:08They deserve that.
04:09So, I'm not even gonna season this up right now.
04:12I'm gonna put it into the oil.
04:13And you just brown those up.
04:15Salt and pepper.
04:16Nice and simple.
04:17So as the chicken is browning, we're gonna cut up our vegetables.
04:21Got our mushrooms.
04:22I'm gonna put the mushrooms in whole.
04:24Then we're gonna add onions, leeks, celery, carrots.
04:27Keep it very simple.
04:28Very simple.
04:29What fond memories do you have of making this meal when you were a kid?
04:33Hundreds.
04:34I have hundreds of memories of making this as a child.
04:36So the thing that I love about making dishes like this, like, big one pot.
04:42You literally could take everything, throw it in, and we're just simmering it.
04:46So just simmer it if you wanted to.
04:48Like any good stories?
04:50Yeah, like hundreds.
04:52I want to have this pretty chunky.
04:54Like, you know, whatever.
04:56It didn't take too long.
04:58But you want a lot of vegetables.
05:00Let's put the onion in.
05:02You want a leek?
05:03Anything interesting?
05:04Well, yeah.
05:05Like, one time I remember my brother, we were about to go on a camping trip.
05:10And so my parents made all these chicken and dumplings to bring on this camping trip.
05:14They packed it up.
05:15We were gonna go.
05:16We were just up in our tree fort really quickly.
05:18And then Steve went to jump off and he jumped out of the tree.
05:20And his arm snapped and came out of the skin.
05:22And my mom dropped the bucket of chicken and dumplings on the ground.
05:27And she ran over screaming.
05:29And I was screaming.
05:30And Adam, my little brother, was screaming.
05:32And Steve was screaming.
05:33Because his bone, it wasn't bloody.
05:35It was just like a bone that was sticking out of the skin.
05:37It was kind of chaotic.
05:39This is like a Stephen King novel.
05:44Oh my God.
05:45What's happening?
05:46Get that?
05:47Ugh.
05:48My frickin' eyes.
05:49Real men don't cry.
05:50Real men do cry.
05:51I never cry though.
05:52My wife says that she thinks I'm like a sociopath or something like that.
06:05Leave a like.
06:06If you think I'm a sociopath or if you think that like, you know, whatever you think I am,
06:12just leave a like, leave a comment, let me know.
06:15Let me show you the best way to cut a carrot for a stew.
06:18You start here, and then you pull it towards you.
06:21Then you pull it towards you.
06:22And then you pull it towards you.
06:23And then you pull it towards you.
06:24And then you pull it towards you.
06:25And then you pull it towards you.
06:26And you turn it, and you pull it towards you.
06:28And you turn that, and you cut it, and you pull it towards you.
06:30And you cut it, and you pull it towards you.
06:31And you cut it, and you pull it towards you.
06:32What is up with this pot?
06:33Is this a fuckin' joke?
06:35What the fuck?
06:37Why is it doing this?
06:38I think it's possessed.
06:43Whatever.
06:44Just a dash.
06:45I'm always waiting for that like, linchpin.
06:46It's literally, this is just like a landmine of fucking,
06:49like every single thing is like,
06:52is this gonna like spray up into my face?
06:55What did Michelle do to the olive oil today
06:57to ruin my dishes?
07:00So once again, I'm gonna give it just another little seasoning
07:03of salt because I added a lot of vegetables.
07:06I'm gonna make a little well in the middle, check this out.
07:08A little well in the middle, hello!
07:11Couple scoops of the Dijon, a little mutard.
07:14Gotta move this stuff here.
07:17Oh, Michelle's, oh, weird.
07:20Just a bunch of Michelle's stuff.
07:22Bunch of Michelle's stuff is in the shot.
07:25Isn't that nice?
07:27How long have we been shooting? Half hour?
07:30Don't worry.
07:32We'll catch Michelle's stuff eventually.
07:35We always do.
07:37On just a dash, let's take a second to hear from our sponsors.
07:41And we're just gonna stir this in now.
07:43Smell that.
07:45Dinner is ready!
07:47A little deglaze.
07:49A little bit of white wine.
07:51What's that, a fucking cup?
07:52Perfect.
07:53I love a deglaze.
07:54A deglaze, a deglaze, a deglaze is great for everybody.
07:58One for you, one for fucking Karen.
08:01What I wanna do is kinda reduce this now by at least half.
08:05So we got some thyme here.
08:07So I'm just gonna pick some thyme, cause I got some thyme.
08:11Got a little bit of thyme on her hands.
08:15So just take a twig.
08:16You just take your leaves, pull it off.
08:18Couple stems in there, never hurt anybody.
08:21Just pick some thyme, it smells beautiful.
08:23It's that time of the year.
08:29You ever seen Time Cop?
08:31Jean-Claude Van Damme?
08:32Underrated film.
08:3650,000 volts, motherfucker.
08:38Have a nice day.
08:39Torp didn't think that was funny, so whatever.
08:51This is, this is, I'll tell you, do you want me to tell you a fucking secret right now?
08:55I have never made this dish in my life.
09:00Okay?
09:01If I start talking about my family and these memories.
09:04I have hundreds of memories of making this as a child.
09:07I have never made this dish.
09:09A family secret recipe I've been making for 375 years.
09:14My family has never made this dish.
09:16My grandmama, my nanny, passed it down.
09:21Just so many, so many, so many.
09:24I got no connection to it whatsoever.
09:26His arm snapped a pain out of the skin.
09:28And my mom dropped the bucket of chicken bone that was sticking out of the skin.
09:33My wife says that she thinks I'm like a sociopath or something like that.
09:38A sociopath, a sociopath, a sociopath.
09:48Most of the time I'm just lying.
09:49Do you guys know?
09:50Like all the time, like it's just like I'm lying all the time?
09:52Okay.
09:53We're gonna add some chicken stock now.
09:55I'm adding little baby button mushrooms.
09:58Who's to say?
10:00Is it a lie?
10:01Is it all a lie?
10:02Are food memories lies?
10:03What is a food memory?
10:05Remember at the beginning when I was just like that's what Karens deserve?
10:08And I think I'm gonna take that back because Karens don't deserve anything.
10:12They deserve like literally chicken bones.
10:14I wish, I wish that Karens reacted to chicken bones like puppies.
10:19If a puppy eats a little chicken bone it goes
10:24Dies.
10:25I think we need to start leaving little chicken bones around for Karens.
10:30Nobody can die.
10:31But you know, scratch their throat a little bit.
10:36And just a pinch of poultry.
10:38Then we're gonna stir that in.
10:39And that pinch is gonna be that je ne sais quoi.
10:53So we're gonna make a biscuit.
10:55Biscuits.
10:56Wet biscuits.
10:57We got all purpose flour, two cups.
10:59We got a tablespoon of baking powder.
11:01We're gonna do a pinch of salt.
11:03I'll tell you one thing.
11:04You don't want fucking sinkers.
11:06We're gonna mix that up.
11:07We're gonna cut up some green onions and we're gonna put the green onions in.
11:10There we go.
11:11I put in some chopped up scallions just to give it a little crunch throughout.
11:14Is it traditional?
11:15No?
11:16So first we're gonna add three tablespoons of melted butter.
11:19Incorporate that into our flour.
11:21You wanna move it around kinda until it gets like bread crummy.
11:24And now we're gonna add our buttermilk.
11:27Half a cup.
11:28I'm gonna add a little sour cream to this too.
11:30This is really gross content.
11:32That's what the thing about this show is.
11:34It's really in my groin.
11:36We're doing really good.
11:39We're gonna do two spoons here.
11:41I'm gonna make quenelles.
11:43I'm gonna make a lot of little ones.
11:45We're just gonna drop these in, okay?
11:47Boom.
11:48One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
11:57We're gonna turn it down nice and low.
11:59In 20 minutes, we are gonna have chicken and dumplings for the first time ever.
12:05I'm making it for the first time ever.
12:07Are you making it for the first time ever?
12:08I'm making it for the first time ever.
12:10What are you cooking at home?
12:11He's trying to hand me a nipple clamp.
12:20Wow.
12:21No.
12:22That hurts my finger.
12:23No, I'm not putting that on my nipple.
12:24You just nudge it.
12:25Camera B is literally nudging this like this.
12:29Like pushing this towards me.
12:31That hurts.
12:32Ow.
12:33This can break your finger.
12:34The most important thing about just a dash.
12:36I'm gonna make like a little parsley salad, kinda.
12:39Is that we're making flavorful.
12:40Some shallots, some parsley, some lemon juice.
12:43Cooking.
12:44I do this salad kinda on a lot of different things.
12:46That's easy and accessible.
12:48It's really helpful.
12:49It's really yummy.
12:50I'm not giving you duds.
12:52Michelle!
12:53The show's done.
12:55You know, I'm giving you floaters.
12:56Can I get a bowl to eat?
12:58Light, fluffy, beautiful, airy.
13:00Oh, oh, oh, oh.
13:02See how fast and easy this was?
13:04There's no chaos.
13:05It's a completely normal cooking show.
13:07Do you want one or two?
13:10You want one?
13:12Thanks.
13:13Oh, that's nice.
13:15Big reveal on just a dash?
13:17Big reveal on just a dash.
13:19Oh, yeah.
13:25This is too gross.
13:26That's too gross?
13:28What do you think, Michelle?
13:29Is that appropriate?
13:30It's a lot.
13:31What, the farting?
13:32That's the line.
13:33The farting is the line that everyone in this...
13:36Everyone's fucking sick in this whole house.
13:39It's not just me, okay?
13:40Everyone is fucking sick.
13:42I'm gassy.
13:43You're talking about the smell of the chicken.
13:45It's so beautiful.
13:46While farting.
13:47It's crazy.
13:48What am I supposed to do?
13:49Hold it in and fucking puke?
13:50If it doesn't come out this way, it comes out that way.
13:52The gas will push back up.
13:54A geyser.
13:59Is that true?
14:00There's no jokes left.
14:02Because it's just, it's pure, honest cooking.
14:04You know?
14:05It warms your heart.
14:06It really does.
14:07It's literally boiling.
14:12Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
14:15So I wanted to see if the dumpling is cooked.
14:19So here, you can see that it's nice and cooked.
14:27It's not that much colder.
14:28I'm cooking this for the first time ever.
14:30Yes, I'm a world-class chef.
14:32Yes, I have almost a million followers on Instagram.
14:35Yes, I have subscribers up the Yahoo!
14:38On YouTube.
14:39But, I want people to know that we can do it together.
14:47I'm gonna shit my pants.
14:49I'm gonna shit so bad.
14:51It's like a fucking frozen lake.
14:53Like, imagine like a frozen lake upside down.
14:56And there's like a little crack.
14:58So this is the shit.
14:59This is my asshole.
15:01And then it's the pressure.
15:03And then it's cracking open.
15:05And then a whole frozen lake of shit will open up.
15:08I farted a couple times.
15:10You know?
15:11This is maybe like one of the best things I've ever made.
15:13Those are easy to edit out.
15:18I'm imagining this is chicken dumplings.
15:21Well, if you have to cut out the farts,
15:23there's nothing here.
15:25I think toots are fine.
15:27We're here to cook.
15:29It's serious.
15:30I back the toots.
15:31Do you guys back the toots?
15:32Upholding, you know, the truths of food.
15:35If you like the toots, subscribe.
15:38And that's what this is.
15:39If you don't like, just leave a thumbs up.
15:43Beautiful, gentle.
15:45And if you think I'm a complete monster,
15:49very straightforward episode.
15:51Go fuck yourself.
15:52You don't toot when you cook.
15:53This is the reality of just a dash.
15:55This is what I'm trying to show you.
15:57That you can look like a monster, act like a monster,
16:01and create beautiful dishes.
16:03And still be a great guy like me.
16:06Ugh.
16:07Okay, I have to shit.
16:09Can I go?
16:10I don't know if we can make this a wholesome episode.
16:12We either have a gruesome story to put in or farts.
16:15I thought it was a pretty wholesome episode.
16:19It was beautiful to me.
16:21I thought it was beautiful.
16:22It all comes down in the edit.
16:23Like, you can edit.
16:24That's your job.
16:25Do you want to cut this one?
16:26Well, I can give notes.
16:29You know, I can give notes.
16:31Literally, everyone's here to sabotage me.
16:34It's fucked.
16:35I'm trying to make a wholesome cooking show.
16:37These guys, oh, follow me.
16:39I gotta go take a poop.
16:40They're the ones following me.
16:41I'm not telling them to fucking follow me
16:42into a fucking bathroom.
16:43Am I?
16:44Am I?
16:45The episode was so bad that we had to cover the diarrhea.
16:49This isn't like me.
16:50I'm working with these people that I work with, okay?
16:53Next season, I'm gonna have an open call.
16:55We're gonna find a new crew that are nice to you.
16:57These guys, I can't even poop in my own house.
17:00Everyone poops.
17:01There's a book.
17:02Everyone poops.
17:03It's so nasty.
17:04I gotta get out of here.
17:05What?
17:06What's the matter?
17:07You can't go upstairs.
17:08It stinks.
17:09You can't go upstairs.
17:10That's where the children live.
17:11You don't have to go upstairs.
17:12Whatever you guys see, I'm just putting this...
17:13I tried to make a wholesome episode.
17:15Way to go, tort.
17:25Let's go.
17:26Let's go.
17:27Let's go.
17:28Let's go.
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