The Weekly with Charlie Pickering - Season 11 Episode 10
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00:00And what type of work are you looking for Mr Pickering?
00:04Well we're coming up to the end of season 11 of The Weekly.
00:08Hold your applause.
00:10And basically TV work is pretty hard to come by,
00:12so just looking for something to hold me over until next season.
00:15Skills?
00:16I am an actor, award-winning TV host.
00:18Un-skilled. Okay, here's something.
00:20Good money, no experience needed, tasteful, artistic.
00:24So it's pornography?
00:26Oh, pornography is far too palatable a term for this.
00:29You can defecate on demand?
00:31Let's put that on the back burner for now.
00:33Have you got anything else?
00:34Okay, would you consider a career as a stallion technician?
00:37Ooh, that sounds like fun. What is it?
00:39Well, when thoroughbreds breed, they need samples.
00:42Oh, so I would have to...
00:44Masturbate the horses, correct.
00:46You don't have anything else?
00:47This one's just come in highly paid, zero KPIs,
00:51huge pension and rock-bottom expectations.
00:54That sounds perfect. What's that?
00:56How would you like to be the new leader of the Liberal Party?
00:58Tell me you guys about the horse-wanking job.
01:10Hello and Charger Green and welcome to The Weekly.
01:12We've got a huge show for you tonight.
01:14Nicolette Minster takes on the menopause industrial complex.
01:17Concetta Caristo explores the Russian knock-off of Eurovision.
01:20And fresh from calling his last election,
01:22I'll be joined right here at the desk by ABC icon Anthony Green!
01:26Yes!
01:28And as always, we've watched all the news so that you don't have to.
01:32So let's kick it off with the week.
01:40To Thursday, and the eyes of the world were glued to the Vatican chimney,
01:44when suddenly...
01:46A little bit of anxiety, but...
01:48Oh! Oh! Morgan!
01:50Is that it?
01:51Do we see the smoke?
01:52Morgan!
01:53Morgan, we've got...
01:54Look at that! White smoke!
01:55We have white smoke!
01:56We have white smoke!
01:57We have white smoke!
01:58We have white smoke!
01:59Grown men were brought to tears and the nuns went nuts.
02:05It's white!
02:06Let's go!
02:07Holy cow!
02:08Holy cow!
02:09Holy cow!
02:10Holy cow!
02:11For the first time in history, the conclave elected a holy cow.
02:16Sorry.
02:17Pope Leo XIV.
02:18So where's this guy from?
02:20And please, tell us as many times as possible.
02:23A momentous day for the world, the United States,
02:26and for us here in Chicago.
02:28The first American pope, and he is from Chicago.
02:31Welcome to the special Chicago coverage of this new Chicago pope.
02:36The first pope ever from the United States.
02:40The first American pope, which means communion will now be supersized.
02:45And I, for one, can't wait to eat the body of Christ out of a 21-piece bucket.
02:51In a shotgun conclave, Pope Leo was elected in just 30 hours.
02:56So why did the cardinals get it done so quickly?
02:59Heading into the Sistine Chapel means giving up their phones.
03:02I talked to one cardinal the other day who said the thing he was dreading most was having to give up his iPad.
03:06The one thing we know they're not doing is checking Instagram because their devices have all been composting.
03:12I believe the kids call it raw-dogging.
03:15For the uninitiated, raw-dogging means to go a long time without electronics.
03:22It's also the Catholic Church's only approved form of contraception.
03:27So what kind of guy is he?
03:29Well, let's ask his two older brothers.
03:31You know how some kids like to play war and be soldiers?
03:34He wanted to play priest.
03:36And so he took our mom's ironing board and put a tablecloth over it and we had to go to mass.
03:41He's my brother. He's my stupid little brother.
03:44As Jesus said, you are all my brothers.
03:47My stupid little brothers.
03:49Stop blessing yourself. Stop blessing yourself.
03:52So what else can you tell us about Il Papa Americano?
03:55Father Joseph Farrell has known Pope Leo since the 1980s.
03:59He says the new Pope plays tennis every week and is a speedy texter.
04:04He's been to Australia before and so Eddie didn't particularly like Vegemite.
04:07He didn't like Vegemite or as His Holiness called it, the devil's ear wax.
04:12After the drama of the day, all that was left to do was run out of things to say.
04:17Just as the smoke came out, that seagull took pride of place.
04:20In fact, there's a baby there as well.
04:22I don't know what the collective noun for seagulls is.
04:25Maybe someone can email it to me at some point.
04:29What is it, Paul? Sorry?
04:30A flock.
04:31Is it a flock? Is it really a flock?
04:33OK, a flock of seagulls. Boring.
04:35While flock is acceptable, technically the collective term is a colony of seagulls.
04:41Just like it's a murder of crows or a raw dog of cardinals.
04:46To Friday and the Australian film industry was reeling from a possible new Trump tariff.
04:51Trump's plan to reclaim Hollywood with a 100% tariff on movies made outside the US has left the Australian film industry in doubt.
05:00The president saying that he will now put a 100% tariff on movies that, as he puts it, are coming into our country that are produced in foreign lands.
05:09If they're not willing to make a movie inside the United States, we should have a tariff on movies that come in.
05:17Yeah, we get it, man. Subtitles are hard.
05:20While putting a tariff on goods is relatively simple, it turns out putting a tariff on movies could be a little more complicated.
05:27This was a pretty vague announcement. He did say 100% tariff, but on what? No one's really clear on that.
05:35Think about a movie like Mission Impossible. I mean, that's a movie that's shot all over the world.
05:40What happens to a film like that?
05:42Well, that one's easy. Tom Cruise will just stay locked in a crate on the docks until Paramount pays up.
05:49Thankfully, CNN's Wolf Blitzer was quick to show us how these tariffs could affect regular, everyday Americans.
05:55This is personal for me, because when I was in Mission Impossible Fallout, the film, they flew me to London for my scene, to film my scene in London.
06:04So if Trump gets his way, you couldn't do that anymore. I was in James Bond's Skyfall, too.
06:08How many movies have you been in? A lot. OK, there you go.
06:11Turns out the real Mission Impossible is getting Wolf Blitzer to stop reading out his acting credits.
06:17Luckily, the Aussie film industry had a heavy hitter in its corner.
06:20Australia's ambassador to the US, Kevin Rudd, has spoken out against Donald Trump's movie tariffs.
06:26There's a great Australian cartoon series about a dog in my hometown of Brisbane.
06:30I don't think we want to see attacks on Bluey.
06:32You know, Kevin Rudd is right. With a Bluey movie coming out very soon, this could be a disaster for Australia's biggest cultural export.
06:40But there may be a solution. We just need to convince Donald Trump that Bluey is actually made in America.
06:46Mom!
06:51Ha!
06:53Ivanka!
06:57Red, white and Bluey!
06:59I sure do love baseball.
07:01I love guns.
07:03They should lock her up and throw away the key.
07:06Well, she sure was crooked.
07:09Home run.
07:11How good is freedom?
07:13Yee-haw! Asshole.
07:14Mom, there's a letter from Pop!
07:17Dwayne Senior Junior.
07:19Hi, y'all. It's your dad.
07:21You know, the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden.
07:23It is an honor to serve President Donald J. Trump, who is undoubtedly the greatest president in the history of our country.
07:31God bless the US of A.
07:32It's the worst of A.
07:40Seamless. Seamless.
07:42To health news now, and it affects half the population, but until recently was largely ignored.
07:48Now perimenopause is having a moment, and the market is cashing in.
07:51To give us her hot flush take, please welcome tonight's instant expert, comedian Nicolette Minster!
07:57APPLAUSE
07:58Oh, Charlie, it's so great to be back.
08:04Last time I was on the show talking about Taylor Swift, and now menopause.
08:09I've moved through the female archetypes from virgin to crone in record time.
08:14Congratulations, Nicolette.
08:16For those who don't know, though, what is perimenopause?
08:19Look, I do hate to womansplain, but perimenopause is the stage of menopause that happens right before peri-perimenopause.
08:26And directly after lemon and herb.
08:29It's the spicy bit.
08:31Sounds delicious.
08:33It's essentially puberty's evil twin.
08:35Like most things related to women's health, menopause has been treated as either taboo, witchcraft, or just a certified boner shrinker.
08:44And what do we love to do with female shame and discomfort, Charlie?
08:47Well, I try to ignore it for fear of saying the wrong thing, but I'll have a go anyway.
08:52Do we talk about it? Study it.
08:54We monetise it.
08:56Today, the global menopause market is estimated at close to $600 billion.
09:01Wow.
09:02And that's a lot of female celebrities making bank by putting their name on lube, supplements, creams, teas, chocolate, workouts, light-up dildos and pillows.
09:12Now, the pillows do nothing for hot flushes, but they are perfect for screaming into.
09:17Welcome to Menno Washing, Charlie, where your symptoms are real and debilitating, but the solution's mostly branding.
09:24Take this cup of tea, and I could say, this is a menopause tea.
09:28I don't need any evidence to prove that, because I can call it a menopause tea.
09:30I could charge 20 times as much, I'm sure, because I put Menno in front of it, because I wash it with the word Menno.
09:38It's classic exploitative marketing.
09:40Honestly, Charlie, I think us middle-aged women might be better off turning to the real experts in menopause.
09:43Uh, doctors?
09:44Killer whales.
09:46Female orcas, they stop reproducing in the 30s or 40s, but they can survive in the wild well into their 90s.
09:53Which answers the age-old question, how far will women's health go to avoid studying actual women?
10:01Turns out, all the way out to sea.
10:03And like humans, orcas live past reproductive age for good reason.
10:08To keep their adult sons alive.
10:10Yeah.
10:11Free Willy might be free.
10:12You know who's not?
10:13His mum.
10:15Maybe the real men are watching was Mother Nature,
10:18selling us wisdom with age while we're slowly losing bone density
10:21and still cutting crusts off sandwiches for fully grown men.
10:25Would you please thank Nicolette Minster!
10:27The Weeklys. Today's Headlines.
10:33Thieves on the run.
10:36They wish.
10:37They can't even get to the car.
10:40Popular pet names.
10:42In a shock result, the number one name is Greg.
10:45Hoons show off.
10:47Synchronised hoon dance scores a perfect 10 from police.
10:51Chickpeas four ways.
10:53The mid-week dinner that's guaranteed to end your marriage.
10:56Star Wars burlesque.
10:58I had the idea of Darth Vader in a G-string 20 years ago.
11:03And they called me a pervert.
11:0540 years of Live Aid.
11:06That's a long concert.
11:08Freddie Mercury must be exhausted.
11:10Running robots.
11:12Why are they running?
11:13Do they know something we don't?
11:15Run!
11:16The Weeklys.
11:17Today's Headlines.
11:20Still to come, Conchetta Caristo unveils Vladimir Putin's very own version of Eurovision and I
11:25handcuff Anthony Green to this desk and force him to call all elections until he saves democracy.
11:31But first to Saturday and Anthony Albanese's landslide victory became a natural disaster for the Greens.
11:38Labor's crushing win has knocked out Greens leader Adam Band.
11:41After an agonising wait, confirmation he's been defeated by Labor's Sarah Whitty, bringing to an end a 15 year political career.
11:51The Greens had to beat Labor and Liberal combined.
11:54It's climbing Everest and we've managed to do it a few times but this time we fell just short.
12:02Falling short on Everest.
12:03The first time ever that Adam Band can relate to a billionaire.
12:07The defeat came as a shock to Band's loyal inner Melbourne constituents.
12:12Baristas expressed their grief in latte art.
12:15Carabiners were lowered to half-mast.
12:18And Wales staged a die-in on St Kilda Beach wearing Save Adam Band t-shirts.
12:22But not everyone was in mourning.
12:25What do you reckon Pauline? There is a God.
12:27I was getting ready to come onto your program when I heard the news.
12:30And I couldn't help it, I did a dance around the house in my bra and knickers.
12:34And the One Nation bra and knickers set is on sale now.
12:39But sadly only comes in white.
12:42To Sunday and a big day for mums and service stations that sell expired Gillian chocolates and flowers that smell like petrol.
12:49But if you wanted to go that extra mile, the news had plenty of great gift ideas.
12:55Let me introduce you to the Ninja Double Stack XL countertop oven and air fryer.
12:59It's two independent ovens so you can make your full meal, your sides all at once with no stress.
13:05Two independent ovens for an independent woman. You're welcome mum.
13:07Any other hot tips for making mum feel special?
13:12You can get her a spa gift card or gift certificate and these are all things that you can order online so you don't have to see your mum in person.
13:20The perfect way to say I love you from a comfortable distance.
13:24On a personal note, my mum and I did what we always do.
13:28I gave her a bunch of tulips and she gave me an envelope full of news stories demanding I put them in the show.
13:34It's time for stories my mum sent me!
13:36OK, let's see what mum sent me on Mother's Day.
13:52Alright, here we go.
13:53A Kenyan court has fined four men for trying to traffic thousands of ants.
13:59Apparently they were trying to smuggle the ants through an elaborate network of underground tunnels.
14:07The world's top porn stars have gathered in California for the seventh annual Pornhub Awards.
14:13The coalition scored ten nominations for getting thoroughly screwed by an entire nation.
14:19Well done, well done.
14:21Mum's words, not mine.
14:23Oh, this one's interesting.
14:26A British woman has been ripped off $23,000 after scammers made her believe she was in a relationship with Dr Chris Brown.
14:36It's hard to believe when you consider the fact that I'm in a relationship with Dr Chris Brown.
14:41That's my boo.
14:44A tourist has been hospitalised after climbing over a fence at the Coliseum where he fell and impaled himself on a spike.
14:53Which seems like a terrible idea, but hey, when in Rome?
14:58Are you not entertained?
15:00And finally, a group of white South Africans have resettled in America after being given refugee status by the Trump administration.
15:11Having endured crippling poverty, structural racism and rampant crime, the refugees quickly decided to return to South Africa.
15:19And that's stories my mum sent me!
15:21While the world gears up for Eurovision this week, there's another music competition taking the eastern block by storm.
15:33After being banned from Eurovision for invading Ukraine, Russia has resurrected the Intervision Song Contest.
15:40A Cold War relic from the 60s, Intervision is the austere Soviet version of Eurovision, where the winner gets a packet of cigarettes and the loser gets sent away to re-education.
15:51Here to tell us all about it, would you please welcome Conchetta Karisto!
15:54So what can you tell me about Intervision 2025?
16:03Sure, Eurovision is great and all with its camp joy and technicolour inclusivity, but Intervision?
16:09Intervision is all about unity, order and a 220 piece military band.
16:14Charlie, have you ever thought, I wish music had rules?
16:17Oh, no!
16:18Good!
16:19Because Intervision has a bunch of them, including no songs about violence, no politics, no insulting the honour and dignity of society, and you must respect cultural, ethical and religious traditions.
16:33It's a bit like the ABC, but less oppressive.
16:36Right, so what kind of music does that leave us with?
16:39Only the best rule-abiding music you've ever heard.
16:44Oh...mygod.
16:57..that song is so catchy.
16:59I want it played at all of my weddings, Charlie!
17:02Uh, so, you seem very into this?
17:05What's not to love?
17:06The OG Intervision had the best voting system ever.
17:09Instead of phones, they just used light switches.
17:13Right.
17:14OK, picture it.
17:15The state-approved crooner hits the stage.
17:18If you love the song, keep your lights on.
17:20If you hate it, turn them off.
17:23And that's how they voted?
17:25The electricity company would measure the power surge
17:27to pick the winner.
17:28It's real!
17:30I'm sure it wasn't perfect.
17:32Maybe a couple of people went to bed early.
17:34Bad luck, Czechoslovakia!
17:36Right, so who exactly will perform
17:39in InterVision Moscow 2025?
17:42Great question.
17:43Just the usual line-up of music-loving, die-hard villains.
17:46You're Iran, China, Armenia.
17:48Basically, if your accent sounds like a Bond villain,
17:51you better start warming up those vocal cords.
17:54But you can't say Indivision isn't inclusive, Charlie.
17:57Anyone is welcome to enter.
17:59Really? Anyone?
18:00Literally.
18:01I'm just saying that if Australia is looking for someone
18:03to represent us, I can clear my schedule
18:06and my internet history.
18:08Yeah, but what about the whole, uh...
18:10I've been rehearsing.
18:11Hit it!
18:12Which bazes are the bigolina make-me feel toned?
18:14Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oi, oi, yo, yo, yo...
18:16Aussie, oi!
18:18Aussie, oi, oi, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
18:30Aussie, oi, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo...
18:32Would you please thank Kachana Karisto!
18:43Coming up in a tip, The Wizard of Oz Votes.
18:45Anthony Green will be right here at the desk
18:47to tell us how the hell he knows when to call an election.
18:51But first, to Monday.
18:53And we had hoped to bring you an update
18:54on the conflict between India and Pakistan
18:57or the efforts to bring an end to the war in Ukraine.
19:00But a more pressing story demanded our time.
19:03I'm speaking, of course, about raccoon with a meth pipe.
19:07A harrowing story that began with a routine traffic stop in Ohio
19:11involving a pet raccoon, which is legal,
19:14and its meth pipe, which is not.
19:16Nothing prepared officers for what they found
19:19during this traffic stop on Monday.
19:21A patrolman noticed something unusual
19:23in the passenger seat of her SUV.
19:26A raccoon holding a pipe
19:28allegedly used to smoke crystal methamphetamine.
19:32The raccoon has a...her meth pipe.
19:35It's what?
19:36Oh, my God.
19:37Her meth pipe.
19:38He's playing with a meth pipe right now.
19:41No, don't reach for it.
19:42That's evidence now.
19:44Yeah, evidence of one badass raccoon.
19:47But the fun didn't stop there for Chewie,
19:49the raccoon with a meth pipe,
19:52or as I like to call him, crack-oon.
19:53When the police tried to confiscate his pipe,
19:57he was ready.
19:58When the officer took the pipe away from Chewie,
20:01the pet grabbed another pipe.
20:03Oh, there's no...
20:04He's trying to smoke it!
20:06All right.
20:07Thanks.
20:08There's no way!
20:09All right.
20:12All right.
20:12Enough fun and games.
20:14As my grandma always used to say,
20:16it's all fun and games
20:16until the raccoon grabs a second meth pipe.
20:20The two police officers who discovered the crack-oon
20:23gave an extended press conference.
20:25One seemed deeply disturbed,
20:27the other seemed genuinely entertained.
20:29Having an animal,
20:31you know, more of a rabid animal
20:32with drug paraphernalia,
20:35because it could have been...
20:36it could have been a kid rather than a raccoon.
20:38So, you know, you've got to look at it that way.
20:40I'm a big animal lover,
20:41so, you know,
20:42seeing any type of animal playing around
20:45always puts me in a...
20:46you know, in a better mood.
20:48Yeah.
20:48And I'm a big meth lover,
20:50which always puts me in a good mood.
20:51This story has something for everyone.
20:54Well, we salute you, crack-oon,
20:55and look forward to the Australian version,
20:58kangaroo doing nangs.
21:00Or, if you will,
21:02nangaroo.
21:02APPLAUSE
21:03Amen. Yes.
21:08We salute you, nangaroo.
21:10To Tuesday,
21:11and the Liberal Party met to elect a new leader.
21:14The original contenders were Angus Taylor,
21:16Dan Tehan and Susan Lee.
21:18So, what do we know about the cream of the Liberal crop?
21:21This is a real problem for the Liberal Party.
21:24They've had a talent drought.
21:25Angus Taylor, you know,
21:27didn't prosecute the economic case at all.
21:29Taylor didn't do the work.
21:30He's lazy.
21:30Dan Tehan, I think, is someone who is, you know,
21:33quite a nervous performer.
21:34Susan Lee's idea of doing the numbers
21:35is consulting her numerologist.
21:37I mean, she's a nutter.
21:39Lazy, nervous, nutter.
21:41Sounds less like a future Prime Minister
21:43and more like that one horse at pony camp
21:45that no-one's allowed to ride.
21:47And if you're wondering about the numerology thing,
21:49Susan Lee's name used to be spelt with one S,
21:53but numerology told her that if she added an extra S,
21:56she would live an exciting, interesting life.
21:59Well, it turns out she was right.
22:02The Liberal Party has met
22:03and we have determined that the new leader
22:07of our Liberal Party is Susan Lee.
22:09Susan Lee is the new leader.
22:11Her official response, yes.
22:13Sorry.
22:13Yes.
22:16Congratulations to Susan Lee,
22:18the first woman ever to lead the Liberal Party.
22:20And congratulations also to her new deputy,
22:22who won it in a very tight vote,
22:24raccoon with a meth pipe.
22:27Congratulations.
22:28To our guest tonight,
22:34and 36 years ago,
22:36a young man joined the ABC
22:37on a six-month contract as an election researcher.
22:41Since then,
22:42Anthony Green has covered more than 90 vote counts,
22:45including an incredible 13 federal elections.
22:49This election was his last on-air
22:51as the ABC's chief election analyst,
22:53and we are delighted to have him here tonight.
22:55Would you please welcome
22:56the one and only National Treasurer,
22:58Anthony Green!
23:01Yes!
23:04Welcome.
23:05I'm just delighted to have you here at the weekly.
23:08But let me ask you,
23:09now that you've relinquished your on-air duties,
23:11the pressure is off,
23:13who did you vote for?
23:14No.
23:14You got convinced by all those texts from Clive,
23:18didn't you?
23:18Yeah, yeah.
23:19You just caved in eventually.
23:20They were just like, you know,
23:21I kept thinking,
23:22I just wanted to go in there
23:23and where were the triumph of the parrots?
23:26Well, you have been part of our election nights
23:28for a very long time.
23:30A lot of people can't imagine an election without you.
23:33But is it true that it happened by accident?
23:36I just happened to be looking for a job one weekend.
23:38I'd gone back to university,
23:39done an economics politics degree.
23:40I'd worked in the computer industry.
23:43And I saw this job ad for an election research.
23:45I was like, that's what I want.
23:46It was six months.
23:47They had 150 applicants,
23:49interviewed eight,
23:49three PhDs,
23:50and they picked me.
23:51And I think one,
23:52I had the qualifications,
23:54but I also had this experience with computers,
23:56which was unusual in 1989.
23:58And I think the always problem had always been
24:00how to get the journalists
24:01to talk to the people who ran the computers.
24:03And they think you found it was me
24:05who could do that between them.
24:06And I think to this day,
24:07I still act as that interface.
24:09Even you describing yourself as an interface.
24:12It is like, it's so arm's length.
24:14Like, you are our human election computer.
24:17But I've got to ask,
24:18what was it like the first time they were like,
24:21do you know what?
24:22Get the computer nerd on talking about it.
24:25No one else can do it.
24:26Were you,
24:26like, were you bricking it?
24:28Were you terrified?
24:29What was that like?
24:30Well, the first time I ever had been on camera,
24:31it was a report about a redistribution
24:33and I had to point at a map
24:36and my hand was going like that.
24:37And the director came down
24:39and he gave me my first tip in television.
24:41She said,
24:42if you lean the pointer on the map,
24:43it won't shake.
24:44So that was my first tip.
24:45Oh, wow.
24:47You really have had a love-hate relationship
24:49with the ABC computer over the years.
24:52We haven't had that many problems.
24:53I mean, people sort of say,
24:54oh, your touchscreen doesn't work.
24:55It's usually something,
24:57it's me operating incorrectly
24:58or it's not communicating over a network.
25:01The technology has got much more complex over the years
25:04and we rely a lot more on the computer to do calls,
25:07but it's still the basic design
25:08that I came up with in about 1991,
25:10but we've had to augment it
25:11and make it more complex
25:12and give us more ability to turn things on and off.
25:15Plus, these days,
25:16you had to be in the tally room in the 1990s
25:18to get the results.
25:19I call it bungee jumping for intellectuals.
25:21You were tethered to the Electoral Commission
25:23by this thin stream of data
25:25and you're there on camera thinking,
25:27oh, God, I hope that data keeps coming in.
25:29Nowadays, it's also like some computers
25:31talking to each other in the internet
25:32and they pull down gigantic files.
25:34So you don't have to be in a tally room anymore.
25:36I miss the old tally room.
25:37It used to be great fun and the noise
25:38and everyone was the bustle.
25:40But, I mean, you couldn't do a modern election coverage
25:42in the outside broadcast like that
25:43with all the technology we use these days.
25:45Now, on the ABC,
25:46we know that someone has lost their seat
25:48because you tell us that they have lost their seat.
25:51Over on Channel 9,
25:51I don't know if you've ever seen this,
25:53but they do it a little differently.
25:54Let's take a look.
25:55Into the drink.
25:56Three, two, one.
25:58Oh, it is.
26:01Do you ever look at that and think,
26:02maybe I want a dunk tank?
26:04Could you imagine what they would say
26:06if the ABC had a dunk tank?
26:08I mean, I'm given the Papal Conglave,
26:11I was thinking,
26:11why don't we have a sort of smokestack
26:13with some milk?
26:14Oh, that would have been wonderful.
26:17No, no, that wouldn't have worked.
26:20Well, I believe that we all owe you
26:22a debt of gratitude,
26:24not just for telling us who won on the night,
26:26but for educating a nation
26:28about how elections work.
26:30So we at The Weekly wanted to give you
26:31a little gift to show our appreciation.
26:34So after decades of explaining
26:36what a swing seat was,
26:38we thought you should have one of your own.
26:40This is the Anthony Green swing seat.
26:45It is safe, stable, and two-cardi preferred.
26:49Seriously, it's not safe for any more
26:51than two people on there.
26:53May I invite you to come with me now
26:55and take a seat on your Anthony Green swing seat?
26:57Thank you very much.
26:59Thank you very much.
26:59We're going to answer that.
27:04That's all right.
27:05Oh, whatever you...
27:06It's, um...
27:07Naturally went to the right.
27:09Um...
27:09That is the show for tonight.
27:12Would you please thank
27:13Nicolette Minster,
27:14Conchetta Caristo,
27:15and the one and only
27:16Anthony Green!
27:17We will be back next week
27:20with Ben Lomas,
27:21Margaret Pomerantz,
27:22Zoe Koonsma,
27:23and Rhys Nicholson.
27:24And don't forget to tune in
27:25to my radio show,
27:26TGIF.
27:27You should check it out.
27:27You'd love it.
27:28Uh, TGIF,
27:29Friday Afternoons,
27:30ABC Radio and Radio National,
27:32or just download it
27:33from the ABC Listen app.
27:34Until then,
27:35thank you for watching.
27:36I'm Charlie Pickering,
27:37and on behalf of everyone
27:37here at The Weekly,
27:38goodnight.
27:39CHEERING
27:40You're gonna miss a lot,
27:42wouldn't you?
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