- 3 months ago
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00:00Show open, take one.
00:04In a world where shiplap means serenity
00:08and subway tiles sparkle with timeless taste.
00:11Yeah, this isn't that world.
00:14Whoa!
00:15One woman will stop at nothing.
00:18Hurry.
00:20Hey, that's me.
00:21To track down the ugliest houses across America.
00:25Who goes there?
00:26Oh.
00:28She'll journey farther than ever before.
00:32You mean like North Dakota?
00:33Yes, North Dakota.
00:36They thought no one would ever find them.
00:38Do you cry a lot?
00:40I do.
00:42But they were wrong.
00:47So far, she's conquered the worst of the Great Plains.
00:51This place is mayhem.
00:54The most shocking in the Midwest.
00:57One person's trash is another person's art.
01:01And now, she'll take on the Ozarks.
01:04And the Ugly will have nowhere to hide.
01:09No.
01:11Don't get too old for this .
01:13The show has been rated H for hideous.
01:15Viewer discretion is highly advised.
01:17For you!
01:18The journey to boldly find ugly where no ugly has been found before puts me en route to the Ozarks, a mountainous region usually known for its beauty.
01:29But before I venture deep into these uncharted lands, I'm stopping at a city perched on its northern border.
01:36St. Louis, Missouri.
01:38I find myself at the gateway to the west, St. Louis, Missouri.
01:43Home of the iconic arch, stunning brick homes, and fun fact, birthplace of the ice cream cone.
01:50Right now, I'm here to meet Colleen and Craig and find out if their house is indeed serving up a full scoop of ugly.
02:02Yeah, you're gonna have to come better than that, because this is cute.
02:10Hi!
02:11Hi!
02:12Welcome!
02:13Colleen!
02:14Yeah!
02:15And Craig is working for us.
02:16Hi, Craig!
02:17Should we come inside?
02:18Absolutely!
02:19Welcome to St. Louis!
02:20I am Colleen, this is my husband Craig, and we live in St. Louis, Missouri.
02:25In 1970, James King and a group of other people got together to take a neighborhood that was virtually derelict.
02:31And they had a vision for resuscitating, reviving, if you like.
02:35And he created something quite magical, I suppose.
02:39But man, it really is ugly.
02:42The color choices, the material choices.
02:45Every room has a massive hole in the floor.
02:49My name is Sebastian. I am the son of Colleen and Craig.
02:53I love my parents to bits. I think they saw the potential that the house has.
02:57I am yet to see the potential.
02:59We can't explain anything about the house to our friends.
03:02They wander around, and they say, wow, wow.
03:06No!
03:13The vestibule!
03:16That's kind.
03:24I feel like I'm a court jester in here.
03:31Oh my goodness, I did not realize.
03:35I thought this was a mirror.
03:37Pull towards you.
03:38It's a magic mirror. You can go in.
03:40So there's a pit?
03:41There's a pit.
03:42Uh huh.
03:43You step down, you sit, you lounge.
03:45Like, do your thing like a teenager, baby.
03:48This would be me trying to get down there.
03:51There we go.
03:52Reversing.
03:53There you go.
03:54Oh, look at that.
03:55Yeah.
03:56It's real high.
03:57It is real high, actually.
03:58Conversation pit.
03:59No windows.
04:00Go sit in the hole.
04:04To do what?
04:07Let's hit up the rest of the house.
04:09Let's do that.
04:10We're right behind you.
04:13What is...
04:15What was this place?
04:18We think it was some sort of bohemian lounge dining room.
04:24Like, this is just a piece of artwork.
04:27I don't know if you...
04:28Sort of a low table.
04:29It's not functioning.
04:30Bloody big hole in the ground.
04:31Yeah.
04:32Yeah.
04:33I don't understand the purpose of that coffee table.
04:38If you have to move through a living room like this,
04:41there's no living to be had.
04:43It's a scooch room.
04:44Are those considered steps?
04:47They are.
04:48Go and have a look.
04:55Yeah.
04:56What on earth?
04:59Was this a bathhouse?
05:02Probably.
05:03It's as ugly as hell, but it's pretty cool.
05:06I'm going back down.
05:07Oh, boy.
05:09Try the next room.
05:10All right.
05:11We're going to head that way.
05:12Okay.
05:15Oh, for Christ's sake.
05:21What is this counter?
05:23Copper that continues to oxidize even when you're not looking at it.
05:25I can smell it.
05:26Yeah.
05:27And then this is the third room that you've seen,
05:29and each one's got a hole in the floor.
05:31Oh.
05:32This would make me crazy.
05:33I'm sorry.
05:34What?
05:36We have taken down thousands of dingle dangle birds all over the house.
05:40Every corner.
05:41It's all over the house.
05:42You've got these testicles.
05:43Yeah.
05:45No storage space.
05:46But you've got dingle dangles.
05:47We've got dingle dangles.
05:49Dingle dangle.
05:51Where are we headed to next?
05:57Should we go upstairs?
05:58Sure.
06:00This is so aggressive.
06:03It was like, you know what?
06:04I'm not doing a railing.
06:05I'm doing the moon.
06:06Yes.
06:07The moon.
06:08Geez.
06:10Okay.
06:11So this is the studio at the top of the structure.
06:14Oh.
06:15And we've got another hole you can tear down.
06:19Whew.
06:20This makes me nervous.
06:22Hello.
06:23Hello.
06:24Hello.
06:25Hello.
06:26This right here is a part of the house.
06:27He didn't do this.
06:28He did.
06:29He did this.
06:30Wow.
06:31Okay.
06:32Are you ready for the next?
06:33I'm very angry about this.
06:35I want floor in here.
06:37Where next?
06:38I think we're going down to the bathroom.
06:40Dun, dun, dun.
06:41Let's see.
06:42This is the bathroom.
06:44This has got to be the world's ugliest bathroom.
06:46Yeah.
06:47It's not pretty.
06:48And here's the thing.
06:49For all the mirrors in this place,
06:51that's the mirror you have over the sink.
06:55But you can peek down there.
06:56There's the kitchen.
06:57So when I'm in the bathroom, I'm like,
06:58yo, can you put the kettle on?
07:01This house is crazy.
07:03But it is the reason you are one of three semifinalists
07:07for Melissa and the Ozark reason.
07:09If you make it to the final round,
07:11you'll be that much closer to a renovation by Alice and Victoria.
07:15Amazing.
07:16I am going to wish you luck.
07:19Well, thank you.
07:20Thanks for showing me your house.
07:21Absolutely.
07:22So this was the pitful Dingle Dangle Row House.
07:30Appearance-wise, it is very cramped.
07:33It looks like everything was handmade for a child's treehouse.
07:38The awkward factor.
07:40All the dangling things.
07:42What purpose do these things serve?
07:46None.
07:47The surprise.
07:48There's a hole in every floor.
07:52Unnecessary.
07:53The Ozarks.
07:54Oh, boy.
07:58Next, my journey is taking me 300 miles south,
08:02deep in the Ozark backwoods,
08:04to a town called Circe, Arkansas.
08:08I'm here to meet Andrea and Terry.
08:10Find out if they have the ugliest house in America.
08:19Interesting that there are two houses.
08:25Hey, Radim.
08:26We're here.
08:27Hi.
08:28Welcome to our home.
08:29Andrea and Terry.
08:30How are you?
08:31Great. How are you?
08:32Nice to meet you.
08:33Nice to meet you.
08:34You have a very fancy log cabin.
08:37I see the diamond scene all along.
08:41Everywhere.
08:42Yeah.
08:43We're on Diamond Lane.
08:45Ah.
08:47How big is the property?
08:4830 acres.
08:49What the heck are you doing with 30 acres?
08:51We have many donkeys and many horses and alpacas.
08:56Oh.
08:57And we even have a couple of zebras.
08:59Stop.
09:02She looks like a dog dressed up for Halloween.
09:05Come here, Abigail.
09:06Oh.
09:07Oh.
09:08She juked.
09:09Oh.
09:12Well, let's check out inside.
09:21Welcome to our home.
09:24These are all stuffed.
09:26What on earth?
09:27And they're in a boat.
09:29She wanted a boat with animals in it.
09:31In a boat.
09:34Live, laugh, love.
09:35Not for the animals.
09:36You're a hunter?
09:37We both are.
09:38You both are.
09:39Mm-hmm.
09:40Mm-hmm.
09:41Hi, I'm Andrea.
09:42This is my husband, Terry.
09:43We live in Searcy, Arkansas, in the most unique house you've ever seen.
09:57But things that were really important to me in a house, this doesn't have.
10:02We don't have any counter space.
10:04We don't have any cabinets.
10:06We don't have any closet space.
10:08Bathroom's tiny.
10:09And, you know, since I was a kid, always dreamed of owning a log cabin.
10:14Now we just need some help fixing the things we don't like about it.
10:19Wow.
10:22The mirrors in the skylight.
10:23The mirrors in the ceiling.
10:24Oh.
10:25The mirrors in the floor.
10:26Yeah, he said when I asked him about the mirrors, he said check for ticks.
10:32That's what he used it for?
10:33That's what he said.
10:34So he's like.
10:35Yeah.
10:36Making sure there's no ticks on the privates.
10:39Very much so.
10:40I mean, I guess you're dropping trial as soon as you walk back in.
10:44Makes sense, I guess.
10:47So, let's go look over here.
10:50Wowzers.
10:53This looks like something out of Game of Thrones.
10:56Diamonds still.
10:58Everywhere.
11:05Come see the pigeon.
11:07Ah, yes.
11:08So it's not a real functional kitchen.
11:10Right.
11:11Because it's such a big space.
11:12You'd think you have at least storage.
11:14I have nowhere to put anything.
11:15Yeah, you don't.
11:16There's not any cabinet space.
11:20Deer antlers.
11:21Deer antlers.
11:23What room are we checking out next?
11:25Come see our bedroom.
11:28With the Elvis door.
11:29Let's check out the Elvis door.
11:33So.
11:34Much.
11:35Wood.
11:38What?
11:39It, I'm sorry.
11:44No, you guys.
11:47No.
11:53It seems dangerous.
11:55Yeah, it's dangerous.
11:56It's dangerous when it's wet too.
11:58This is the most stressful bathroom I've seen.
12:00It is.
12:01It is dangerous.
12:02Imagine I have risked life and limb to dodge a bear or two.
12:11And now I'm going to come and slip in this glass floor shower.
12:18Upstairs?
12:19Upstairs.
12:20Look at the staircase.
12:21Look at this staircase .
12:23Oh my God.
12:24Whoa .
12:25Oh my God.
12:29Little platform.
12:30You can go out on that.
12:32I'm not.
12:33It's so thin like the first step.
12:35You should hear it creak when you lost across it.
12:40I know you live here, but I'm nervous for you.
12:41but I'm nervous for you.
12:42I'm nervous every time I have to walk out there.
12:45Plant life, strictly on the first floor.
12:49OK, so there's bedrooms up here.
12:50Mm-hmm.
12:53Look at this bed.
12:54He built that bed, too.
12:55You see the trees in it?
12:57I do.
12:58He was branching out.
13:00Get it?
13:00Branching?
13:01We have drawers in the wall.
13:05Yeah, you can.
13:08Yeah.
13:10I would be so annoyed every day trying to get trapped.
13:15It really is.
13:16We need tracks.
13:18What was he thinking?
13:19Like he didn't have enough work.
13:20Oh, Dad, can I get tracks?
13:25So you are one of three semifinalists in the Ozarks region.
13:30So I'm going to wish you luck.
13:32Thank you for showing me your home.
13:34And I'm going to say a quick prayer
13:36before I walk down the steps.
13:37So that was the Wild Game of Thrones.
13:44Parents, where do you start?
13:47With the elk, the coyotes, the foxes?
13:50It looks like a wildlife preserve, only scarier,
13:54because they're all posed.
13:56Awkward.
13:57I think it's obvious.
13:58The shower, death trap.
14:01The surprise.
14:02It's a stuffed bird in there, being caught by a cat.
14:07I hope I sleep tonight.
14:09I really do.
14:14The Ozarks continue to wow me.
14:16And in the interest of leaving no ugly stone unturned,
14:20I'm headed back to Missouri, to a city called Frontenac.
14:25Missouri is known as the show me state.
14:27Why?
14:28I don't know.
14:29But we did check the internet.
14:32And they say it's probably because Missourians
14:35have a reputation for skepticism.
14:38I'm here to meet Sheila and Scott,
14:40who think they have the ugliest house in America.
14:44So in the spirit of Missouri, I'm going to need them to show me.
14:48I'm going to have to see the inside, because it's cute.
15:04Hi!
15:05Hi!
15:06Come on out!
15:07Hey!
15:08Thank you for coming.
15:09Hey, nice to meet you.
15:10Nice to meet you.
15:11Scott, Sheila, Sheila, Scott.
15:12You're going to have to come stronger than this.
15:16You want to go in?
15:16Let's check it out.
15:17Oh, we're upstairs.
15:23It's subterranean.
15:24So all the living space is downstairs,
15:26and the bedrooms are upstairs.
15:28It's a lot of dark wood.
15:29Yes.
15:30The humidity level is so high,
15:32it's starting to drip water on us.
15:35And you can see where, oh, there's a drip right there.
15:38Really?
15:39Yes.
15:39So it's staining our carpets and furniture.
15:43If that house drips on this dress,
15:47I'm Scott.
15:48I'm Scott.
15:49This is my incredible wife, Sheila.
15:50Our house is considered a mid-century modern Swiss chalet subterranean museum.
16:03I walked in, and I fell in love with it in 45 seconds.
16:08And my very supportive wife definitely didn't like it in the beginning, or maybe now.
16:15It's so dark in the house, and we have weird statues and paintings all over the house.
16:23It makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I feel like I'm always being watched.
16:27It's just a no.
16:30The house was actually built for parties.
16:32The doors that you see, the doors, they kill her, too.
16:37It literally looks like she's yelling, like she's terrified.
16:41It is real obvious what side of the fence they stand on.
16:49Scott?
16:50Sheila?
16:51Hell no.
16:52The bedroom.
16:53Oh, look at that.
16:54It's a lot.
16:55It's very ornate.
16:56And a lot of people looking at us.
16:57They're everywhere.
16:58So the original owner, she had all these really expensive gowns, and there's actually
17:15a panic alarm button in here, in case someone would try to steal her gowns.
17:20For her dresses.
17:22I get it.
17:24This is our bathroom.
17:25Okay.
17:26Wow.
17:29Wow, this is something.
17:32Yeah.
17:34Are they fish?
17:35Gargoyles?
17:36They look like duck mermen.
17:41And there's carpeting.
17:42Yes, it's disgusting.
17:45I think we should go downstairs to the living area.
17:51Whoa.
17:54It's sexy.
17:55So this room was actually a theater room.
17:58This is only half the room.
18:00Oh.
18:01What happened was the second owners decided they needed a garage.
18:05So you can see above the car, that's where the movie screen used to be.
18:09Rude.
18:10But you have to love the doors, too.
18:13Or maybe not.
18:14It's just, it's bad.
18:17It's, it's really bad.
18:18It's not that bad.
18:20It just needs to be preserved and loved.
18:23It's Team Sheila from here on out.
18:26I'm going to wish you good luck.
18:28And I'm going to get out of here and try to avoid getting sweat on by your house.
18:33So, uh, thanks guys.
18:35Well, thank you.
18:36We appreciate you.
18:37Have a good one.
18:38You too.
18:44Bet that's the first time you saw a sweating chalet.
18:47Because that's what that was.
18:49It looks like a chalet in some rooms.
18:53It looks like a Victorian manor in others.
18:57It's a mish-mash.
19:00The awkward thing about it is that it sweats.
19:03You walk in and you get sweat on.
19:05The surprise, not the worst thing you can have, an alarm for your dresses.
19:11I mean, you know, if you got loot and you got expensive dresses, get you an alarm.
19:18I gotta say, the Ozarks is confusing.
19:21Color me baffled.
19:23And so, my epic journey through the Ozarks comes to its hideous conclusion with three
19:29uniquely ugly houses.
19:31But only one can move on for a chance at a home renovation with Alice in Victoria.
19:36Which one will it be?
19:39Ozarks region, you showed me a new kind of ugly, the likes of which I'll never forget,
19:44no matter how hard I try.
19:46And while all three contenders were beasts, only one house can be leader of the pack.
19:51Whew!
19:52This makes me nervous.
19:53No!
19:55It's between a dingle-dangle design disaster...
19:59What?!
20:00We have taken down thousands.
20:02Every corner, you've got these testicles.
20:05A dizzying, diamond-studded taxidermist haven...
20:09Live, laugh, love!
20:11Not for the animals.
20:13And a house that's so sad, the ceiling weeps.
20:16So it just drips?
20:18Yes.
20:19Oh, there's a drip right there.
20:20That's annoying.
20:21Here we are, on the road.
20:24Guess what?
20:25We get to tell some lucky folks they have the ugliest house in their region.
20:30It's good news?
20:33Let's see.
20:34Let's see.
20:42Hi, guys.
20:43Hi!
20:44Hi!
20:45Hi!
20:46You have the ugliest house in the Ozarks.
20:49No!
20:51I mean, we know that, but why?
20:56I had a suspicion.
20:57So, I'm going to wish you luck.
20:59Bye, guys.
21:00Dingle-dangle!
21:01Bye!
21:02Bye!
21:03Congratulations, pit-full dingle-dangle rowhouse.
21:09You have the kind of ugly that only a bulldozer could love.
21:13But the question remains, are you ugly enough to win it all?
21:17Because this quest is far from over.
21:21Coming up.
21:26Whoa!
21:27They had a full giraffe right in the center.
21:30Oh, what?
21:31This is the bath.
21:32Room!
21:33It might have been worth the trip.
21:36or it might have been worth it.
21:37Goodbye, guys.
21:38Bye.
21:39Bye.
21:42Bye-bye.
21:43Bye.
21:44Bye.
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