True Stories & Practical Steps to Healing and Hope with author Janice Gomes

Yaya Diamond TV

#yayadiamond #healing #Trama Book link: https://books.google.com/books/about/Surviving_Trauma.html?id=jf5s0QEACAAJ  There is trauma being faced everyday and there is no age barrier on who becomes its victims. This book addresses various situations people are dealing with on a daily basis, and whether they have had any closure to these tragic life experiences. Traumatic events often create feelings that lead them into depression, hopelessness, and often a life of putting on a face of false happiness. Is it possible to overcome the hurt and pain that trauma has caused? Are there practical and powerful steps someone can take to set themselves free from a life of captivating pain and loss? The answer is yes. However, it takes the victims willingness to help the change and healing actually take place. The stories in this book are true. Only their names have been changed. I was either involved with the situations, was there first hand and witnessed the traumatic events, or I personally know the people involved. My goal is to help give you hope and free you, or someone you know, from the hurt and pain that is always there. https://podopshost.com/yayadiamond   ⚡ VidChapter AI generated these chapters, try it out https://vidchapter.com/?affiliate=yayadiamond Recommended podcast platform get 10% off: https://podopshost.com/register/?ref=yaya   Tools and Services I use: Appsumo has the best lifetime deals ever!!! I love this site.  appsumo.8odi.net/yayadiamond The easiest way to make your graphics: https://buff.ly/2RTQLn0 Best website for musicians. Try it for free on me: https://buff.ly/2GMYugG Make money with Fiverr.com: https://buff.ly/2KjTVvV   Our Amazon store: https://buff.ly/34RYNlm DISCLAIMER: Links included in this description might be affiliate links. If you purchase a product or service with the links that I provide I may receive a small commission. My affiliate links usually provide either a free trial or discount so go try them out on me! Thank you for supporting DreamChasersRadio.com  so I can continue to provide you with free content each week! Privacy Policy: https://buff.ly/2XSrflS ™Yaya Diamond Red Hot Reality Ent. LLC

Transcript

00:00Yeah, you're diamonds, dream chasers, we won't wait

00:17Subscribe today before it's too late

00:20Inspiration flowin' just like the breeze

00:23Chase your dreams and feel at ease

00:30Be good, be very good

00:35I don't know if I can fulfill that, but I am going to definitely try to be good

00:41Although she knew that it was very difficult, very difficult for me to be good

00:47I always had questions and that's why this is perfect for me

00:51Thank you guys so much for tuning in, my name is Yaya Diamond and I am the host of Dream Chasers Radio

00:55And I have an amazing guest on the show today

00:59She is an author and I've always wanted to know

01:02The one question that I always ask authors is

01:04Did they know they were going to be an author?

01:07Did they aspire to be an author?

01:12We're going to find that out today

01:14From surviving trauma

01:16I am literally, I kind of understand trauma

01:21This may not be the same trauma, but I do understand trauma

01:25Because I went through a lot of it

01:27And I think a lot of people here can testify to certain kinds of trauma

01:31Thank you, Janice Gomez for being on the show

01:34It is a pleasure to have you

01:36Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here

01:38Thank you

01:39So, let's go back

01:41That one question I already asked

01:43And my curiosity has killed the cat, per se

01:47I wanted to know if you, you know, did you ever aspire to be an author?

01:51Or was this just something that happened because of circumstances?

01:55I never aspired to be an author, no

01:58I started out as a crisis intervention counselor

02:04And just talking to the people and listening to their stories

02:08I learned a couple of things

02:10One, I learned you have all the answers you need

02:13You go to a counselor and they ask you questions

02:16And you answer the questions

02:18You know the answers

02:20So why are so many people in trauma?

02:23And what causes this?

02:25And that's what I really wanted to know

02:27Are you living in the past?

02:30You know, are you a victim or are you a victimizer?

02:33So I'd write down notes

02:35And they would become stories

02:38And then my computer would go out

02:40And I'd get a new computer

02:41And the stories would stay on the last computer

02:43So I really wasn't anticipating being an author, no

02:48Okay, so what message do you want most readers to take from this?

02:57Because you did it for a reason

03:00Was it for you or was it for anyone?

03:03When I started, I learned a lot about myself from talking to people

03:08I would ask questions that I would want the answer for myself

03:13And the one person that inspired me so much

03:17Was one of the first girls I ever talked to

03:20She's 14 years old

03:21She was sent to juvenile hall

03:23And my question was

03:25What are you going to do from here?

03:27Why are you here?

03:28And it turned out she had a 74 year old father

03:31That was a Supreme Court judge

03:34And she had a 36 year old mother

03:37And the father was very abusive

03:40He was always pushing or slapping her

03:44And this one day when he came home

03:46She said no more, I'm done

03:48And she walked out of the house

03:49Well, her dad called the police

03:52Had her picked up as a truant

03:54So the title was she was a runaway

03:57And I was to find out where she thought she was running to

04:00And so I sat down with her

04:02And she said I didn't run away

04:05I walked out of the house

04:07She said I didn't want to be pushed again

04:09I didn't want to be shoved again

04:10And I didn't want my mom standing there

04:12Allowing it to happen

04:13So I walked out

04:15And I said what do you see yourself doing about this?

04:19And her words have always stuck with me

04:21I'm not going to do anything about it

04:23It's not my problem

04:24It's his

04:25Wow

04:27That stayed with me

04:29Immediately I saw wow

04:31How many people are going through something

04:33They're trying to change the other person

04:36Or they're trying to change themselves

04:38But that's not going to work

04:40You have to address the problem

04:42And deal with that

04:44Yeah

04:45Are you part of the problem?

04:46Are you part of the solution?

04:48Are you a victim?

04:49Or are you a victimizer?

04:51These are all the things I wanted to know

04:53So as I interviewed people

04:55I said you know

04:56Do you mind if I take notes

04:57That I'm going to keep?

04:59And if they said no don't

05:01Don't do that I didn't

05:02But if they said it was okay

05:04Then that's what I did

05:06Wow

05:07Wow

05:08How do you define trauma?

05:10And why do you believe it affects people of all ages and backgrounds?

05:15Trauma to me from talking to everybody comes from an action

05:19It could have been a birth

05:21It could have been a death

05:22It could have been an accident

05:23It could have been betrayal

05:25Everybody that goes through trauma

05:27Seems to have somebody nearby

05:30That they either won't forgive

05:32Or they can't stand

05:33Or they hate

05:34And they talk about it all the time

05:36To everybody that they talk to

05:38They will say

05:40And this happened

05:41And then that happened

05:42And you have to ask yourself

05:46Do you really want to live in yesterday?

05:48Because that's where trauma is

05:50When you're telling somebody about your trauma

05:53You're reliving it

05:54Every time you talk about it

05:56You start reliving that trauma

05:58If you can't focus on today

06:00You won't ever get into tomorrow

06:02You're waiting for the future

06:03But the future is here

06:04Today is the future

06:06Tomorrow will take care of itself

06:08Yeah

06:10We

06:11And that's what the Bible says

06:12You know worry and focus today

06:14And if we focused more on

06:16What do I want?

06:17What am I looking for?

06:18If it's that one person

06:20You need to listen to you

06:21And understand you

06:22But they won't do it

06:23You have to come to a place

06:25Where you accept that

06:26That it's not going to happen

06:28And stop victimizing yourself

06:30Continually

06:31Maybe you had a bad relationship

06:33With your mother

06:34You haven't talked to her for years

06:36But being hostile and angry

06:38And telling everybody about it

06:40Doesn't make you closer to your mom

06:42You make you victimize yourself

06:44So that's

06:45I think trauma is something

06:47I have a friend that wants to know

06:49Why her story isn't in the book

06:51And it's not in the book

06:52Because she has no ending

06:54I can't write a story

06:55It has no ending

06:56She says

06:57Well you know I have PTSD

06:58And I said

06:59No PTSD has you

07:01You've had plenty of time

07:03To get rid of the PTSD

07:05Move forward

07:06Help someone else

07:07If you're unhappy

07:08Go forward and help somebody

07:10Find out what they need

07:12Get out of your trauma

07:13And find out what that person needs

07:15You just might have something

07:17That can help them

07:18Yes

07:19That's what trauma is to me

07:20It's not in a book

07:22Your story isn't on page 15

07:25Paragraph 3

07:26Nobody knows

07:27What you're going through

07:29Even when you try to explain it

07:31And sometimes what really happens

07:33It triggers people

07:34Is they'll explain

07:36What's just happened

07:37And the person will go

07:38Oh that's really too bad

07:39And then move right

07:40To another subject

07:41Not realizing

07:42You may have just

07:44Missed an opportunity

07:45To save someone

07:46From suicide

07:47Yeah

07:48Because they're reaching out

07:49And you really don't have

07:50The time or the patience

07:51And you don't have the education

07:53There's all kinds of things

07:54People say

07:55I was never trained

07:56I don't think there's a book

07:58On training how to love someone

08:00You can love people

08:01You don't even know

08:02By just having compassion

08:04And just having some grace

08:06And saying

08:07You know

08:08Just something simple for me

08:09Is if someone comes up

08:11And says oh

08:12I'm going through something right now

08:14Instead of saying

08:15What are you going through

08:16And what's happening

08:17I say

08:18Can we say a quick prayer

08:19And it's real short

08:21God you know this person's situation

08:23Please touch them

08:24Send them somebody that can help

08:26Or send them the knowledge

08:27That they need

08:28Amen

08:29And that's the end of it

08:30So I'm not pushing religion

08:32And I'm not telling you

08:33This is something you have to do

08:35But before I do that

08:36I ask permission to do that

08:38Because some people

08:39Do not want that

08:40But if you're not using prayer

08:42How's that working for you?

08:43You know

08:44That's my question

08:45Yeah

08:46Oh my gosh

08:47Wow

08:48Wow

08:49So

08:50You use real life stories

08:53In your book

08:54That's with permission

08:56Of course

08:57Yes

08:58Did that help the healing process

09:00For these people

09:01On

09:02And I mean

09:03I mean I'm sure

09:04That everybody in your family

09:05Or even you

09:06Have gone through some trauma

09:08Has it helped you to heal as well?

09:10It's given me more compassion for people

09:13I think

09:14I healed from

09:16The traumas I've gone through

09:18Probably in the last two or three years

09:21Two of the stories in my book

09:23One is about

09:24Mark Klass

09:25Polly Klass

09:26Who was a murder victim

09:28And the other one is about

09:30Philip Garrido

09:31Who kidnapped J.C. Dugard

09:32And had him in his backyard

09:34For

09:35Had her in his backyard

09:36For 18 years

09:37Oh my gosh

09:38That's two people

09:39Here's Mark Klass

09:40Who's a victim

09:41Here's Philip Garrido

09:42Who's a victimizer

09:44I had known

09:47I had known

09:48At the time of his arrest

09:49I had known Philip

09:50For 15 years

09:51How come I didn't know

09:53J.C.

09:54Who was known as Alyssa back then

09:56How did

09:57Did I not know

09:58That she was in the backyard?

10:00How did I not know

10:01What was going on?

10:02After he was arrested

10:04Philip Garrido was arrested

10:06The FBI showed up at my house

10:08Asking all of these questions

10:10And my question back was

10:12How did you have

10:1360 parole officers

10:16Go to that house

10:17Never go in the backyard

10:19And he goes

10:20They said how do you know

10:21They never went in the backyard

10:22And I said well one

10:23The girls were in the backyard

10:24But two

10:25The car that Philip abducted

10:27J.C. in

10:28Was right there

10:30It was parked right

10:31It was broke down

10:32And parked right next to the fence

10:33It wasn't covered

10:34It was there all that time

10:36So

10:37You know

10:3860 people get in trouble

10:39For not doing the right thing

10:41What's the right thing

10:42When you don't know

10:43That there's

10:44A kidnapped child

10:45That you've

10:46Fathered two children

10:47With in your backyard

10:48And

10:49The backyard

10:50Looked like it ended

10:51But it actually had

10:52A backyard

10:53Behind the backyard

10:54And that's why

10:55None of us knew

10:56That they were there

10:57And I talked to her

10:58I talked to J.C. on the phone

11:00I never actually saw her in person

11:02My son did

11:03He actually sat down

11:04On the couch

11:05With her going over

11:06His printing materials

11:07Because that's what Philip did

11:08He had a printing business

11:10And a very good business

11:11At that

11:12But

11:13I learned so much

11:15From

11:16Poor Mark

11:17Who

11:18You know

11:19Polly was his best friend

11:20And how did he handle it

11:22We became public speakers

11:23Together for a while

11:24And

11:25I just watched

11:27Mark kept growing

11:28And he kept getting stronger

11:30But his hurt

11:32Didn't seem to ever diminish

11:33He just

11:34Couldn't get over

11:35Losing his daughter

11:37Here

11:38With J.C.

11:39Her mother

11:40Always believed

11:41That J.C. was gonna return

11:42But

11:43Everybody at work

11:44And everybody around her

11:45Was telling her

11:46Give up

11:47She's not coming back

11:48Give up hope

11:49You know

11:50The people

11:51That you want

11:52On your support team

11:53Are telling you

11:54Give up and move on

11:55Well if it's in your heart

11:56Not to give up

11:57Don't give up

11:58And her mom didn't

11:59She said one day

12:00She's gonna call

12:01When she called

12:03It was 18 years later

12:04But one day

12:05She called

12:06My god

12:07And she

12:08That's when she

12:09It had been found out

12:10That she was a kid

12:11The kidnapped victim

12:12From

12:13You know

12:1418 years before

12:15So

12:16Oh

12:17She had kids by this guy?

12:18She had two

12:20And

12:21This young girl

12:23Who was 11 years old

12:25Was able to raise her children

12:27And educate them

12:28To her

12:29I'm not positive

12:30If one's graduated

12:31From college

12:32But I know

12:33That they were both

12:34In college

12:35So

12:36J.C. allowed them

12:37To have their life

12:38When they got their freedom

12:39And

12:40She didn't want

12:41Her past

12:42To jeopardize them

12:44In any way

12:45So

12:46She kind of

12:47Kept herself secret

12:48And hidden in the back

12:49But from what I understand

12:50She's gone on

12:51To

12:52Open up

12:53A facility

12:54For

12:55Mentally

12:57Traumatized people

12:58And

12:59Animals

13:00And she puts the two of them

13:01Together

13:02So

13:03They help each other

13:04And it's really

13:05Interesting

13:06To see

13:07That this

13:08The hope

13:09Comes from J.C.

13:10Because if she went through

13:11What she went through

13:12And has accomplished

13:13What she's accomplished

13:14To this date

13:15We all have hope

13:16And my hope

13:17Is that

13:18Somebody will read that book

13:19And decide not to commit suicide

13:21That's my hope

13:22Because

13:23These people could've

13:25Mark could've

13:26He could've

13:27She was my best friend

13:29I mean

13:30I did everything with her

13:31She was so

13:32Important in his life

13:33But he

13:34I never even heard him say it

13:36I wanna take my own life

13:37And I

13:38Philip Garrido never said

13:41I wanna take my own life

13:42And he never thought

13:43He did anything wrong

13:44And

13:45So

13:46That's my hope

13:48Is that people

13:49Will see the victim

13:50And see the victimizer

13:51And ask

13:52Am I the victim

13:53Or am I the victimizer

13:54Because if you're not there

13:56For the people that love you

13:57And you're running around

13:58Complaining

13:59They don't hear me

14:00They don't listen to me

14:01They don't do what I wanna do

14:02It comes down to that freedom of speech

14:04You can say anything you want

14:06As long as it's my opinion

14:08And you agree with me

14:10And that's not your name of speech

14:12That's running of the mouth

14:13And I

14:14I heard the other day

14:16There is no logic in stupidity

14:19That is so true

14:20Stupidity does not have logic associated

14:23So if you're

14:24You're stuck on stupid

14:25Then you're not making sense

14:27And you don't need to

14:29Nobody wants to hear it

14:31No

14:32No they don't

14:33They don't

14:34You know

14:35I want to ask you

14:36Like in your book

14:38You approach like

14:39Sensitive and graphic content

14:41In a different way

14:42Like you leave it to the imagination

14:44Why did you do that?

14:46Because I want everybody to read the book

14:48Of all ages

14:49Races

14:50Creeds

14:51Colors

14:52Everybody's gone through trauma

14:53This is probably

14:55The worst time

14:57For people

14:58All over the world

14:59I mean

15:00Otherwise

15:01They're losing

15:02Family members

15:03And homes

15:04And everything

15:05To floods

15:06Fires

15:07People are alone

15:08They have to start over

15:09People that had jobs

15:11Their buildings are gone

15:12So now they don't have an income

15:15Yeah

15:16I just have to say that

15:18We're all in this together

15:20So I don't want to put something in there

15:22That makes you go to bed at night

15:23And now you can't sleep

15:24Well that story was terrible

15:25I just can't

15:26I don't want that

15:27And I didn't write any stories about dogs

15:30So anybody that loves animals

15:31Doesn't have to worry

15:32There is no trauma in there

15:35And that's where people face a lot of trauma

15:38When they lose their pets

15:39Because their pets were their soul mates

15:41And they just make their world

15:43And when they pass away

15:44Unless you're an animal lover

15:46You don't understand that pain

15:47But I didn't want to put it in the book

15:49They can find other people's pain

15:52And kind of

15:53You know

15:54Would I have done that?

15:55Or would I say

15:56Uh-uh

15:57She did that all wrong

15:58Make up your own story

16:00In your own head

16:02And see if you're helping yourself

16:03Or hurting yourself

16:04Yeah

16:05Yeah

16:06I agree with you

16:07I agree with you 100%

16:08And yeah

16:09I'm that kind of person

16:10That if I see a scary movie

16:12It doesn't matter whether it's

16:14Noon

16:155 o'clock

16:16Or midnight

16:17Or 2 in the morning

16:19I have to watch something different

16:20I'm gonna have

16:21I'm gonna have that nightmare

16:23And that's just not good

16:25I've been asked by people

16:27If I read your book

16:28Will I be really sad?

16:29And I said

16:30No

16:31The book isn't written for you to be sad

16:33It's written to be educational

16:35And to let you know you're not alone

16:37Some people have never told anybody

16:40What they're going through

16:41Other people have told everybody

16:43That will listen

16:44And it doesn't do any good

16:46They don't get anywhere with these people

16:48So that traumatizes your trauma

16:51So this book is

16:52It's got a beginning

16:54A middle

16:55And the story ends

16:57But their lives go on

16:59And so

17:00I want people to see that

17:02Everybody's going through something

17:04You're not alone

17:05It's the biggest thing

17:07And you've got to find somebody

17:09If you can't find somebody to listen to you

17:11Find a stranger

17:13You know what I've always noticed

17:14And you'll probably agree with this

17:16You can talk to your husband

17:18And you can talk to him for an hour

17:20And he still doesn't get what you're saying

17:22Yet you can stand in the grocery store line

17:25Talk to the lady next to you

17:28She's got you

17:29She understands it completely

17:31Oh, I know

17:32And here you're going

17:33My husband doesn't get it at all

17:34I saw that a long time ago

17:37It just doesn't work

17:39It's just a waste of my time

17:41It really is

17:42Yeah

17:43So we definitely think different

17:45I started really watching my husband

17:47And noticing he can really talk about

17:50Cars, motorcycles

17:51And the things that he does

17:53In his line of work

17:55But they never talk about anything else

17:57I never

17:58They don't sit down and talk about the family dog

18:00Or the kids

18:01Wait a minute

18:02I thought I was the only one going through this

18:04Okay

18:05I thought I was like

18:06Oh, heavens no

18:07There's a bunch of women going

18:08Oh, no, no, no

18:09Uh-uh

18:10And women will confide in women

18:12When you say

18:13How are you feeling?

18:14Do you still have a migraine?

18:15And you say

18:16Yeah, but it's not as bad

18:18You ask a man and he's fine

18:20I don't care if his arm's falling off

18:21He's fine

18:22They don't have communication all the time

18:28And I think a lot of people

18:30That are counselors in therapy

18:33I think you men really need to listen to your wives

18:36Especially if you're dealing with women

18:38Because there is an understanding

18:41And again, it's like the book

18:43It doesn't matter your age

18:45It doesn't matter your color

18:46It doesn't matter your religious beliefs

18:48Yeah, it's a different communication

18:52And then

18:54You'll get the words out of their mouths

18:56But it's always or it's never

18:58And you go, wait a minute

18:59You can't use that word

19:00Always and never

19:01Can't use those

19:02Those words start arguments

19:04So

19:05I want this book to

19:07I always use it

19:08And I never stop

19:12I just want this to be an open for everybody

19:15I got it

19:16I got it

19:17I was just playing around

19:19I was just playing around

19:20But yeah

19:21I know

19:22I know

19:23But you relate

19:24See, you relate

19:25I do

19:26I do relate

19:27And that, you know

19:28Wow

19:29I thought I was the only one

19:30I mean

19:31I'm still stuck on that

19:32I'm still stuck on not being the only one

19:34No, you're not

19:36Yeah, girlfriend

19:37The man can talk about what he loves for hours

19:40And I'm just standing there like

19:41Will you ever listen to what I gotta say?

19:43Yeah

19:44Especially when it's important

19:45And you go to tell him

19:47And he brings up another subject

19:49You're going, wait a minute

19:50I wasn't through with my subject yet

19:51Thank you

19:52Thank you

19:53Did you get the

19:54Oh, you didn't tell me that

19:56But you did?

19:57Okay, okay

19:58I'm good now

19:59Yeah, you should have told me

20:00I did

20:01Oh

20:02I did

20:03I did

20:04In detail

20:05Yes

20:06In detail

20:07Yes

20:08And you never listen

20:09No

20:10And I'm always hearing this

20:12They have selective hearing

20:14Because they can't hear certain things

20:16And then other things

20:17You can whisper

20:18And they can hear

20:19Oh my God

20:20So they do the selective hearing

20:21Yeah

20:22And I know people are going

20:23Hey, my daughter's like that

20:24Or my wife is like that

20:26I'm not trying to, you know, categorize people

20:29I'm just saying most women will relate

20:31That another woman understands them

20:33And the man is just

20:35Are we going to talk about that again?

20:36Well, we never finished it to begin with

20:38I know

20:39Well, okay

20:43Let's get back to

20:44Well, this is trauma

20:45I think that this is surviving trauma

20:47I mean, if you're in a marriage

20:48And this is happening to you

20:49Regardless of whether it's the wife

20:51Or the husband

20:52Or vice versa

20:53It doesn't matter

20:54You are surviving trauma

20:55In my book

20:56Yes

20:57In my book you are surviving trauma

21:00If you're a parent

21:01If you have a teenager

21:03Yes

21:04Teenagers

21:05I mean

21:06Is this hollow?

21:07They get to a certain point

21:11Where they think they know everything

21:13I grew up thinking

21:15I don't have all the answers

21:16Because I don't even know all the questions

21:18Yeah

21:19You know

21:20You can't

21:21You want to be

21:22I should say

21:23My niece recently said

21:25I always wanted to grow up

21:27And my grandson said

21:28I always wanted to grow up

21:29It's expensive to be an adult

21:32I don't like it

21:34I want to go back to being a kid

21:36I think I was the opposite

21:38I just wanted to stay a kid

21:39I wasn't looking forward to growing up

21:41Because my mom already taught me what grown ups do

21:44And I was not looking forward to that at all

21:46You're head of the game

21:47That's good

21:48I was not looking forward to that at all

21:50My mom was an entrepreneur

21:52I was not looking forward to that at all

21:54And she had me, you know, arrange

21:57When I started

21:58When I got

21:59When I turned about eight years old

22:01She said, okay, let's sit down with the bills

22:03And that was the first day I knew

22:04I did not want to be an adult

22:06That's awesome

22:07I did not want to be an adult

22:09She sat down with me at eight years old

22:11With the bills

22:12I wish my parents would have done that

22:14You're kidding me

22:15You're kidding me

22:16I said, mom, how do we eat?

22:20If you can at least understand

22:22There's a paperwork world

22:23That you're going to grow up into

22:25Yeah

22:26It's not such a shock

22:27When you're learning it on your own

22:28Exactly

22:29Exactly

22:30I understood it from a very young age

22:32What adulting was

22:34And I tried not to do it

22:36For as long as I possibly could

22:38Well, you're doing it

22:39But you're doing it in a way that

22:41You're balancing

22:43Yeah

22:44You know, you're doing things that are

22:46I know dealing with the public at any time

22:48It's hard

22:49But, you know, with what you're putting

22:52Your schedule together

22:54You're finding a way to bring happiness into

22:56Even if it's an unhappy moment or it isn't

22:58Which I think is a gift

23:00Because I still don't understand

23:02How people can go out and sing

23:04Or tell jokes

23:05Or do anything

23:06Day after day

23:07And they're hurting inside so bad

23:10And the public doesn't know what you're going through

23:13And I've watched people, you know

23:15Be chased to get their autograph

23:18And the reason they don't want to give you the autograph

23:22Is basically it's overwhelming for them

23:24It's scary

23:25It's scary

23:26You don't know who the people are

23:27And everybody is

23:28And I've watched that

23:30When Mark Klaas and I were doing public speaking

23:33I just watched

23:35One day I was standing at a door

23:37And I was handing out the pamphlets

23:39That told what the speaking was going to be about

23:41And the people were so rude to me

23:44And they would either push it away on my hand

23:47Or they'd say, I don't need it

23:48But after I did the public speaking that night with Mark

23:52People were coming up and wanting to talk to me

23:54And I said, wait a minute

23:55I'm the same person I was at that door

23:58That I am right now

23:59Exactly

24:00And

24:01Yeah

24:02You can't judge people like that

24:04I don't like that

24:05I know

24:06I deal with it a lot

24:08When I

24:09Because I'm a singer

24:10And I go out and I sing

24:11And I stand out in the lobby

24:12And I

24:13And I watch people go in

24:14And I greet them

24:15And they're all like

24:16Yeah, we're here for the show

24:17I'm like, oh, me too

24:18You know

24:20And they're like

24:21The moment they speak

24:22She's a great

24:23Yeah

24:24She's a great singer

24:25I'd love to meet her

24:26She's standing right there

24:27Oh my gosh

24:28That is so cool

24:29Really?

24:30Yeah

24:31Really

24:32Hopefully she'll meet you in the lobby

24:34You know

24:35And then when I get on stage

24:36And I start singing

24:37You're like, that was her

24:38Oh my gosh

24:39No, she didn't do that to me

24:40Yes, I did do that to you

24:41Yes, I did

24:42Yes, I did

24:43I did it on purpose

24:44I did it on purpose to see who you are

24:46To see where your mind is

24:48To see if you're going to treat me any different

24:49After the fact

24:50And that's a part of trauma

24:52That's a part of

24:53You're meeting people on a phony basis

24:56They're not really being themselves

25:00And they're not giving you a chance to be yourself

25:03I

25:04We were in the grocery store one day

25:06And my kids were all excited

25:07I did not know the basketball player in there

25:10He was very famous

25:12And I didn't know him

25:13But I did

25:14They said go talk to him

25:16So I went up to him

25:17And I said

25:18You have a daughter

25:19And he said yes

25:20And I go

25:21She's got to be the only one

25:22That can make you wear a Hello Kitty backpack

25:24And he goes

25:25You got that right

25:27But afterwards

25:28He came up and thanked me for that

25:30For not asking for an autograph

25:32Yeah

25:33I didn't have the heart to tell him

25:34I don't even know who you are

25:35But you know

25:37Apparently you're famous

25:38But

25:39Yeah

25:40He's a big big man wearing a little Hello

25:42Yeah I mean his arms are out like this

25:44He's got the Hello Kitty on

25:46So

25:47That's

25:48You can see how people can change people's lives

25:50That happened to be his daughter

25:52It could be your granddaughter

25:53Your cousin

25:54It could be that favorite aunt or your grandmother

25:57You're having problems

25:59In the household with your parents

26:00Don't give up on your parents

26:02Because they're still growing too

26:04You know

26:05Every day that you grow

26:06A day older so do they

26:08Yeah

26:09And there wasn't a handbook

26:10That came with you when you were born

26:12I wouldn't have been

26:14Well then

26:15They give you humans

26:17Like you are trusted with humans to raise them

26:20Yeah

26:22Without a book

26:23That is

26:25Without a book

26:26No 1-800 number to call if it doesn't work

26:29No

26:30No

26:31No

26:32No

26:33Wow

26:34We all go through that with families

26:36And

26:37You know

26:38I've been thinking a lot about our family

26:40My immediate family is

26:42Just turned 49 people

26:44We had 48 up until day before yesterday

26:47And

26:48Everybody is different

26:49And the ones that have gotten married

26:51Have married

26:52People completely different than what our family was like

26:55And

26:56There has to be tolerance and acceptability on both parts

27:00And I'm learning

27:02Not within my family

27:04But people that I've

27:05Spoke with and asked about

27:07I've got

27:08I've got

27:09One friend right now

27:11That's going through a divorce

27:12And

27:13She

27:14Doesn't understand

27:15But

27:16Her husband's had another life for about five years

27:19And

27:20They have two children from that

27:22And her trauma is

27:24He's got two kids

27:25We've got two kids together

27:27Am I supposed to

27:28Have my kids know

27:29His kids

27:30Or their kids

27:31Or

27:32You know

27:33I don't have answers for that

27:35Because I haven't gone through that

27:37So I don't have to answer

27:38I was the other

27:39I was the other kid

27:40Oh

27:41See how it affects

27:43The subject affects everybody

27:46And I searched

27:47I searched out my siblings

27:49Because I really, really

27:50Would have loved to grow up with them

27:52Even though

27:53I only grew up with two of my other siblings

27:56And my mom only had me

27:58So

28:00I really wanted to search them out

28:04Because I felt like

28:05Even though

28:06My dad was

28:08Doing what he did

28:09It wasn't our fault

28:12But we should

28:13We should have that

28:15That relationship

28:16Because we are related

28:17And we're the only people

28:18That's going to have each other's backs

28:20And yet

28:21We've become very close

28:22And I wouldn't give that up for the world

28:24Like that

28:25Those are my brothers and sisters

28:26I don't really call them

28:27Half brothers and sisters

28:28Yeah, I don't like that either

28:29Yeah

28:30I don't like it

28:31I was adopted at birth

28:32I was raised Portuguese

28:34And an only child

28:35When I found my birth family

28:37I'm no longer Portuguese

28:39And I'm one of 11

28:40The only one given up for adoption

28:43So

28:44I went into

28:46An amazing household

28:48But I didn't really realize

28:49How amazing it was until

28:51My sister

28:52Who's four years older than me

28:54And we didn't grow up together

28:56But our

28:57The similar situations

28:58We had

28:59Were uncanny

29:00And

29:01I learned so much

29:03Listening to her

29:04She's had a lot of trauma

29:05In her life

29:06And

29:07I'm seeing

29:08Why she talks about it

29:09And I'm seeing

29:10She's trying to get healed

29:12But I think

29:13She's

29:14She's actually on the path

29:15Of getting healed

29:16Because

29:17She's able to talk

29:18I wasn't there

29:19So

29:20I'm

29:21You know

29:22I don't have any opinions

29:23And she's never had anybody

29:24Where you can just talk

29:26And

29:27You know

29:28Have them understand

29:29What you're saying

29:30And I think the only reason

29:31I really understand her

29:32Is because she is my sister

29:33Yeah

29:34And I never had that

29:35The only family I had

29:36Were my kids

29:37And you know

29:38The lineage on down

29:39Yeah

29:40But

29:41I don't know what our relationship

29:43Would have been like

29:44Like you said

29:45It would have been nice

29:46You know

29:47Yeah

29:48My brother

29:49My brother

29:50Yeah

29:51And everybody's going through

29:52Health issues

29:53You know

29:54And then you find out

29:55From your birth family

29:56They got things you don't want

29:57You know

29:58Like cancers

29:59And different things like that

30:00Yeah

30:01But you don't know

30:02If you find your family

30:03Yeah

30:04Yeah

30:05Yeah

30:06Yeah

30:07Psychologically though

30:09It's got to be hard

30:10For your friend

30:11Because

30:12Thinking about it

30:13You know

30:14She thought that

30:15He really truly was with her

30:16When he was with her

30:17And someone else

30:18Had the kids

30:19At around the same age

30:20It's hard to hook up

30:22With another woman

30:23Who's

30:25Is she's

30:26You know

30:27Is she still in love

30:28With my husband

30:29Did she even know

30:30I mean

30:31There's going to be

30:32Some animosity there

30:33Oh

30:34You have to kind of

30:35Get over that

30:36A little bit

30:37He was pretty clever

30:38He would

30:39He told her

30:40That he

30:41Volunteered

30:42For the army

30:43You know

30:44For

30:45I know they don't go

30:46Full-fledged army

30:47But I know

30:48That they go through

30:49A boot camp and stuff

30:50Well he used

30:51He never was in the army

30:52She didn't know that

30:53But he used that

30:54He had to go away

30:55For training

30:56He had to go away

30:57For this or that

30:58So he was pretty clever

30:59Because who's going to

31:00Think of that

31:01He did

31:02And then when he was

31:03He used that same excuse

31:04With his

31:05No

31:06Yeah

31:07I've got to go away

31:08And Christmas

31:09He hated being away

31:10From home at Christmas

31:11So when he was at home

31:12For Christmas

31:13He said

31:14I'm so happy to be here

31:15Well he wasn't with

31:16The other family

31:17He was with this family

31:18And so

31:19I will

31:20I will keep that in mind

31:21If I write a second book

31:23And just to see

31:24If she goes through this

31:25Yeah

31:26I mean you know

31:27It's got to be hard

31:28But the kids

31:29Don't have anything

31:30Truly to do with it

31:31And my mom

31:32Never kept me

31:33From my dad

31:34Oh that's true

31:35Just never

31:36I think that

31:37The other mother

31:38Of the other kids

31:40Was really mad

31:41At my father

31:42And so

31:43We weren't

31:44Really introduced

31:45To each other

31:46But my mom

31:47Always tried

31:48To keep

31:49You know

31:50Keep that line open

31:51Between my brothers

31:52My brothers

31:53My sisters

31:54My father

31:55And his family

31:56And we did

31:57She did the best she could

31:58She did

31:59And that's so positive

32:01On her part

32:02To allow that

32:03And you know

32:04Regardless of how she felt

32:06She was concerned

32:07About your well being

32:08Yeah

32:09And she said that

32:10She wants

32:11She wants the best for you

32:13And she showed

32:14You know

32:15She showed

32:16She really had a deep love

32:17For you

32:18That's what we're looking for

32:19In this book

32:20Who loves you

32:21Who can you talk to

32:22If they're not there

32:23Then go find

32:24Other people

32:25There's plenty of people

32:27Go talk to the homeless

32:28Help the

32:29Talk to the people

32:30That help the homeless

32:31Yeah

32:32Help talk to the people

32:33That

32:34When Mark and I

32:35Were doing public speaking

32:36We heard some of the

32:37Most horrific stories

32:39We

32:40Because of who he was

32:41We always had

32:42Murder victim families

32:44In our audience

32:45And we heard some stories

32:46That were just heartbreaking

32:48And some

32:49I can't even repeat

32:50They were so bad

32:51Wow

32:52And you just

32:53You know

32:54Those are people

32:55You need to talk to

32:56And say

32:57You're still here

32:58You know

32:59Your life is still going

33:03And for the traumas

33:04That they went to

33:05I didn't want to understand

33:07The whole thing is

33:09You don't want to understand

33:10The other people

33:11You want to help them

33:12You know

33:13There's people that

33:14Get involved with prisoners

33:15They're prisoners

33:16Because they want to understand

33:17Why they became prisoners

33:18No you don't want to understand that

33:20You want to understand

33:21How you can help them

33:22If they get out

33:24Not to go and do the things

33:25That they did

33:26To get them in there

33:27In the first place

33:28You need to be home

33:29You don't need to

33:30Be their friend

33:32And tell them

33:33Well that wasn't fair

33:34For them to do that to you

33:35That doesn't heal anything

33:37You know

33:38Because the person's not going to share

33:41The parts of the hurt

33:42They don't want you to hear

33:44So be there

33:45There's people out there

33:47You know

33:48That will be there for you

33:49And maybe they

33:50They won't counsel you

33:51Maybe they'll just give you

33:52A friendship you're looking for

33:54But if you don't go look for it

33:55You're not going to find it

33:56Because they don't come

33:57Knocking on your door

33:58Going do you need a friend?

33:59Doesn't happen

34:00They don't

34:01They really don't

34:02Wow

34:03Well Janet

34:04Thank you so much

34:05For being on the show

34:06I appreciate it so very much

34:07And the website is Janice Gomes

34:10And we're going to go ahead

34:11And put that link

34:12In the description box

34:13So that you can get it

34:14But it's JaniceGomes.com

34:16You can go there

34:17And check out the website

34:18I mean

34:19I've been putting it up

34:20Ever since we started

34:22You know

34:23This interview

34:24You can read about the author

34:25You can see the book

34:26You can also click on

34:27Either paperback

34:28Or hardcover

34:29To get it

34:30You can get in touch

34:31Right there

34:32You can begin

34:33Begin your journey

34:34And anything else

34:35You need to do

34:36This interview

34:37Is courtesy of

34:38Authors Tranquility Press

34:39I mean

34:41Listen

34:42I am so very excited

34:43And so happy

34:44That you came on the show

34:45Today

34:46Getting over trauma

34:47Is like not easy

34:49But

34:50If you allow yourself

34:51To understand

34:52That the trauma itself

34:53Can kill you

34:54The grief can kill you

34:56It can shorten your life

34:57It can create

34:58All kinds of different

34:59Health issues

35:00Getting over the trauma

35:01Getting over the trauma

35:02Would behoove you

35:03To get over the trauma

35:04Just get over it

35:05Yeah

35:07There's a way

35:08That might help you

35:09Do that

35:10Yeah definitely

35:11And this might be the book

35:12That will help you do that

35:13Definitely

35:14Definitely

35:15Thank you Miss Gomes

35:16For being on the show

35:17I appreciate it

35:18Well thank you

35:19It was just a pleasure

35:20To meet you

35:21I love your personality

35:22I've got to hear your singing

35:24Uh uh

35:25Well at that note

35:29We're going to get off the air

35:31Okay

35:32We're going to thank you guys

35:34So very much

35:35For being here

35:36And go ahead

35:37And go to that link

35:38And click on it

35:39And see if this is a book

35:40That you may need

35:41To help you get over the trauma

35:43That you've

35:44You know

35:45Has occurred in your life

35:46But also

35:47If your husband

35:48Isn't listening to you

35:49Like our husbands

35:50Aren't listening to us

35:51There's nothing that we can do

35:52For you darling

35:53We're praying for you

35:54And you are not alone

35:56Yes

35:57You are not alone

35:58You are not alone

35:59In this

36:00Okay

36:01I want to thank you guys

36:02So much for tuning in

36:03Don't forget to dare to be different

36:04Until next time guys

36:05Bye

36:20Thank you for watching

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