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00:00Get ready to match the star, comic impressionist Trent Travolina, America's TV sweetheart, Sally Struthers, comedian Rip Taylor, comedian Susan Norfleet, from Not Necessarily the News, Tom Hart, and from The Simpsons,
00:27Marcia Wallace, as we play the all-new star-studded Match Game.
00:35And here's the star of Match Game, Ross Schaefer.
00:45Thank you for joining us on Match Game.
00:49Hello.
00:53Thank you, Gene Wood.
00:54Oh. Oh, it's so festive. Oh, it's so festive. What a holiday season it is, huh?
01:02Oh, golly. Happy holidays.
01:03I should tell you at home that Charles Nelson Reilly is not going to be with us this week. He is vacationing with his family in Switzerland.
01:09Oh.
01:12Yes, he is.
01:14But, but, we have, first time on our show, Rip Taylor is here.
01:17Hi, everybody.
01:20I got it.
01:21I got this for the holidays. Thank you very much.
01:27You look great. Rip, welcome to the show.
01:28Yeah, these roots are dead. Thank you so much.
01:31It's windy out. Rug warnings are up. Go ahead, Ross. I'll be fine.
01:35Also, first time on our show, Tom Parks. Comedian Tom Parks.
01:38Yeah!
01:38Very fun.
01:44Tom. Oh, big news for Tom.
01:46Tom nominated for an Ace Award for not necessarily the news.
01:48Yes.
01:48Oh, big news.
01:52And, and something that, that we should tell the people, you have been for the last five years chairman of the American Diabetes Association.
01:59Am I correct?
02:00Well, I'm the chairman of the Comedy Crusade Against Diabetes for the American Diabetes Association.
02:03That's very confusing.
02:04We've raised about a half million dollars over the last four years.
02:06Wow. Well, now, how, how did you get involved?
02:11I, I got, I got involved the hard way. Uh, I was in Missouri five years ago touring, not feeling well, and, and went in to see a doctor and he said, you've got diabetes, which I thought was insult to injury.
02:23I'm in Missouri and I've got diabetes.
02:26Oh!
02:27Oh!
02:28Oh!
02:29Oh, dear.
02:31His name is Tom.
02:32A tough week.
02:33Yes, it was a tough week.
02:33It says all letters.
02:36Yeah, that's right. All Missouri.
02:37It's a joke.
02:37This is to Tom Parks. P-A-R-K-S.
02:41All right, let's meet our contestants. Hi, Tamara.
02:42Hi.
02:43Good to see you.
02:47Wow, you have $1,400. And this is your second time back.
02:53And we have a challenger. Hi, Oliver.
02:55Hi.
02:55How are you?
02:57Oh, you have some Oliver fans, apparently.
02:59Tell us about yourself.
03:00Okay, my name is Oliver Hamilton. I'm originally from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and I do customer service work.
03:05Customer service work.
03:06Yeah. For...
03:07A major multinational corporation.
03:11Right. You know how we play match game, don't you?
03:13Yeah.
03:13All right. Every correct match is worth $50, and the winner keeps all the money, goes on to play Super Match for a shot at $10,000.
03:18Tamara, you're up first.
03:19I'll take B, please.
03:20You'll take B.
03:21Good choice.
03:22That was a very good choice. Hi, Susan.
03:23Hi.
03:24Susan Norfleet with us again.
03:26Ah, Jack said, no wonder the Hollywood Academy of Music can't fill its classes.
03:31The singing lessons are taught by blank.
03:34Sally has a beautiful holiday outfit.
03:41Yes, thanks to my friend, Georgette Hollis, who paints all my jackets.
03:45And she hand-painted that, didn't she?
03:46Yes, she did. You can't have them dry clean, so you can't sweat in them, but they look great.
03:50All right. Here we go.
03:54Jack said, no wonder the Hollywood Academy of Music can't fill its classes.
03:57The singing lessons are taught by...
03:59Roseanne Barr.
03:59Roseanne Barr.
04:04Singing lessons taught by Roseanne Barr.
04:07What do you think, Fred?
04:08I mean, here we go. The holiday season.
04:09There's one guy's voice that just doesn't seem to lend itself to holiday music.
04:13It's Johnny Cash, you know?
04:15We wish you a Merry Christmas.
04:18We wish you a Merry Christmas.
04:21And a Happy New Year, silly.
04:27I said Roseanne Barr.
04:29There's a match.
04:33Roseanne Barr.
04:34I want to thank you for the gift of my first time being here.
04:43He gave me a picture of Art Linkletter hitting a kid.
04:49I couldn't...
04:50Well, I don't dance.
04:52This is it.
04:52Roseanne Barr.
04:59Now, when I heard her sing, Roseanne,
05:01I thought, after all those years listening to that lovely, lilting, speaking voice,
05:05what a surprise.
05:12Roseanne Barr.
05:12Roseanne Barr, come here.
05:16Oh, Tom.
05:17Tom, we're up to a sizzling start.
05:20Well, it's going to be my favorite Christmas album of the year.
05:24Roseanne Barr.
05:25Marcia, Marcia, as you can tell,
05:31before we give you your answer,
05:32look, it was an accident, an injury.
05:34You're so observant, Ross.
05:36Yeah.
05:36Well, you know, I cut my finger.
05:38I came in this morning.
05:39I said, excuse me, I cut my finger.
05:41I'd like it to, if you have a nurse,
05:44bandage it properly so I don't bleed all over the set
05:46because that's not good for comedy, you know?
05:47Bleeding and comedy don't go to get us.
05:49No.
05:49Well, it immediately became Lucy and Ethel cut their finger.
05:52First of all, they sent me a security guard with handcuffs,
05:58which is very helpful when you're bleeding,
06:00and wanted me to write down a statement.
06:03Then they sent me 14 knuckle bandages.
06:07This is very helpful when you're a little finger.
06:09So I went to the fabulous nurse finally,
06:12and she fit me all up and put bandages on.
06:14She gave me a little raincoat.
06:16This is a perfection.
06:18She did.
06:19Ow!
06:19It's just lovely of it.
06:21A little drizzle.
06:22A veritable Florence Nightingale.
06:26That's very nice.
06:27But now do you feel better?
06:28I feel much better.
06:30Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
06:31All right, well, now the singing lessons are taught by who?
06:33Oh, I forgot.
06:34Roseanne Bob.
06:34Yeah, okay.
06:37All right, Oliver.
06:42That should be a holiday,
06:43kind of a holiday special almost on that finger.
06:46I think so.
06:46We'll see, you mean,
06:47you want to see how my finger is tomorrow?
06:49Yeah, we'll see how it,
06:50I'm sure it'll heal by then.
06:52Old Lady Purvis said,
06:53Old Lady Purvis said,
06:55My Christmas tree looks really bare this year.
06:59I couldn't afford any ornaments,
07:01so instead,
07:02I hung my blank on the tree.
07:04Sally, how long has that answered?
07:13Well,
07:14Old Lady Purvis is such an interesting woman,
07:17I didn't...
07:17All right, here we go, Oliver.
07:20Old Lady Purvis
07:20has a very bare tree.
07:22She couldn't afford any ornaments,
07:23so instead she hung her...
07:25Teeth.
07:26Her teeth.
07:26All right, Oliver.
07:27Hung her teeth on the tree.
07:33Hello, this is Dr. Ruth.
07:36You know that if they changed that name,
07:38took the S off,
07:39it would be Old Lady Purvis.
07:42So,
07:43I said that she hung her brassiere.
07:45Her brassiere.
07:46Hung her brassiere.
07:46That's right.
07:47Oh.
07:48Oh.
07:48Oh.
07:49Oh.
07:50Hung her...
07:51Well, Sally?
07:52I said her dentures.
07:53Her dentures.
07:54That's right.
07:54Get off.
07:55Yeah.
07:57And then Ross gave me
08:00a group insurance policy.
08:03I get a thousand bucks
08:04if I'm killed in a group.
08:05Thank you very much.
08:06I put teeth.
08:08Teeth.
08:09It's a mare.
08:10Well, it saved the joke.
08:14All right, Susan.
08:15Well, Ross, you know...
08:16What's she hang on the tree?
08:17Oliver's from the South.
08:18I'm from the South.
08:20Tom's from the South.
08:22Every Christmas,
08:23we get together
08:23and watch Deliverance.
08:27You know that famous line?
08:31You got some mighty pretty teeth
08:33on you, boy.
08:33Oh, teeth.
08:35All right.
08:35Oh, there's a lip.
08:36A lip.
08:37Pretty mouth.
08:38Pretty mouth?
08:39Got a pretty mouth on you?
08:40Yeah.
08:41I knew it was.
08:42See, and this is why
08:43that stereotype is perpetuated
08:44because you say these things.
08:46Yes, but I'm making
08:46a fine living doing that.
08:49Sure.
08:50What'd you...
08:51Mr. Tate?
08:53Yeah, what do you think, Tom?
08:56Her idea of gun control
08:57is holding it with both hands.
08:59Yeah.
09:00I said teeth.
09:02Teeth.
09:02You said teeth.
09:03I love it, baby.
09:06Marsha.
09:07Ross.
09:08Yes.
09:08I'm sorry, hon.
09:09I forgot my answer.
09:10You know, I lost all this blood.
09:11I'm faint.
09:12No problem.
09:13Thanks, as I said.
09:14Thank you, Matt.
09:17High scores.
09:18High scores.
09:18Two of 50 for all.
09:19Tamara, you have three.
09:21We'll be right back with match-ups.
09:22Please stay with us.
09:22Ho, ho, ho.
09:28Ho, we're back.
09:29All right, our score at the end
09:30of the first round.
09:30Tamara, our champion has 300.
09:32Oliver, you have 250.
09:33Now it's time to play match-up.
09:34This is where you can build up
09:35your score by playing
09:36against the clock.
09:37You're trailing right now,
09:37so we'll let you start first.
09:38Who would you like to play with?
09:40Tom.
09:40Okay, Tom.
09:41You, Oliver?
09:42All right.
09:42We're going to show you
09:43a series of possible match-ups
09:44now, Oliver.
09:45You pick what you think
09:45is the best answer,
09:46and every time you and Tom agree,
09:47you get $50.
09:49Okay, we'll put 30 seconds
09:50on our clock.
09:51Get as many as you can.
09:52Ready?
09:53Go.
09:53Search blank.
09:55Search light, search, and seizure.
09:57Search light.
09:58Match.
09:59Tread blank.
10:01Tread water, treadmill.
10:02Tread water.
10:02Match.
10:03First blank.
10:05First edition, first amendment.
10:06First amendment.
10:07Match.
10:08Hidden blank.
10:09Hidden agenda, hidden camera.
10:11Hidden camera.
10:11No match.
10:12Skinny blank.
10:13Skinny mini, skinny dip.
10:15Skinny dip.
10:15No match.
10:16Rear blank.
10:17Rear admiral, rear window.
10:19Rear window.
10:19Match.
10:20Santa blank.
10:22Santa Monica, Santa Claus.
10:23Santa Claus.
10:24No.
10:24Not in time.
10:27Got four matches.
10:28Got four, Oliver.
10:30All right, Tamara,
10:31who do you want to play with?
10:31I want to play Sally, please.
10:32Oh, Sally Struthers.
10:34All right, remember now, $50 per match.
10:36We'll give you 30 seconds on the clock.
10:39Ready?
10:39Go.
10:40Wild blank.
10:41Wild card, wild cat.
10:43Wild card.
10:44No match.
10:45Alfred blank.
10:46Alfred Hitchcock, Alfred E. Newman.
10:48Alfred Hitchcock.
10:48Match.
10:49Bubble blank.
10:50Bubble yum, bubble bath.
10:51Bubble bath.
10:52Match.
10:53I love blank.
10:54I love Lucy, I love you.
10:55I love Lucy.
10:56Match.
10:57Planters blank.
10:59Planters punch, Planters peanuts.
11:00Planters peanuts.
11:01Match.
11:02Animal blank.
11:03Animal crackers, animal house.
11:05Animal crackers.
11:06No match.
11:06Martin blank.
11:08Martin Van Buren, Martin mole.
11:10Martin mole.
11:10Ah, yes.
11:12Got it in time.
11:15All right, five matches.
11:16550 to 450 is our score.
11:18We'll be back after these messages, folks.
11:20Here we go.
11:27Oliver, your turn.
11:29A or B?
11:31A.
11:31Ah, okay.
11:32Here we go.
11:32Good choice, Oliver.
11:36I'm trying to kiss up to him.
11:37You got inside information.
11:38All right.
11:39Mean Marvin is really a mean zookeeper.
11:42How mean is he?
11:44Well, at his petting zoo, he makes you pet the blanks.
11:47Ooh.
11:47That'll work if I stick it in there somewhere.
11:59Long and lean and torque.
12:00Here we go.
12:01Everybody has your answer.
12:01Oliver, mean Marvin is a really mean zookeeper.
12:04At his petting zoo, he makes you pet the snakes.
12:07The snakes.
12:08Pet the snakes.
12:09Oh, now.
12:10Oh, see?
12:11The audience is starting.
12:11Well, I don't know, Oliver.
12:12I don't know.
12:14We'll see if we can't get a match, Fred.
12:15He made him pet the porcupines.
12:17Oh, good answer, Fred.
12:21Pretty good answer.
12:21That's a good answer.
12:22Sally?
12:23He made them pet the porcupines.
12:25The porcupines.
12:29Yeah, it's real.
12:30I mean, he was ornery.
12:31Not only was he mean, he was disgusting.
12:33And you'll get the point, too.
12:34It's a porcupine.
12:35And I thought that would be mean.
12:37Well, I like snakes.
12:38You're right.
12:38You're right.
12:39That's a good answer.
12:39How about you, Susan?
12:40I didn't.
12:41I'm sorry.
12:41I was thinking of what all petting zoos have, of course, is fish.
12:46I said piranhas.
12:51Oh, pet the piranhas.
12:52Yeah.
12:53Pet the piranhas.
12:56Allergy.
12:56Okay.
12:58Tom?
12:59You pet them the same way they make love, very carefully.
13:02Ah, the porcupines.
13:03Porcupines.
13:04Porcupines.
13:05Another whole group.
13:06Your alligators.
13:07The alligators.
13:07Alligators.
13:08Alligators.
13:09Alligators.
13:10Well, no match there.
13:11No match there.
13:12Okay, Tamara, let's see how you do with this.
13:14Carl the convict said, I want a minimum security chain gang.
13:20It's just like maximum security, except instead of iron balls, we have blank balls.
13:30Okay.
13:31Tom has his answer.
13:32He has many answers.
13:33You could sell them to the other contestants.
13:35Susan has one?
13:36Oh, yeah.
13:37I like that one, too.
13:38Okay.
13:39Here we go.
13:39All right.
13:40Carl the convict said, I want a minimum security chain gang.
13:43It's just like maximum security, except instead of iron balls, we have?
13:47Bowling balls.
13:48Bowling balls.
13:49We have bowling balls.
13:51Hey, that's good.
13:53Bowling balls.
13:54Well, we're in this together.
13:55I don't know.
13:58That's right.
13:58He didn't get any last time.
14:00She's not hurt so far.
14:01Fred?
14:01I brought along Reagan, who wants to do something for Christmas.
14:04Oh, that's nice.
14:05On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
14:12Oh.
14:21I didn't get it.
14:22I said cotton balls.
14:24Oh, cotton balls.
14:24Oh.
14:26Oh, cotton balls.
14:29Because it's minimum security, sure.
14:31Minimum security.
14:31Sally.
14:32I said Nerf ball.
14:34Oh, Nerf ball.
14:34Well, it was a minimum security prison, right?
14:40So snowballs would be quickly, but I put cotton balls.
14:44Cotton balls.
14:45That's right.
14:45It's a minimum.
14:47Sure, cotton balls.
14:48Susan?
14:49No iron balls.
14:49They have what balls?
14:50Oh.
14:51Oh, I'm so off on this one.
14:53Well, of course, I just thought if I'd been a guy working in a prison thing, I was sour balls.
14:59Sour balls?
15:02Sour balls?
15:03You're not helping anyone with this.
15:06Tom?
15:09You want to throw mine away, too?
15:13I went with that food thing.
15:14Cheese balls.
15:16Cheese balls?
15:18What was that?
15:20Marcia?
15:21I love them with a little ripple.
15:23It's fabulous.
15:27We're talking your basic soft balls.
15:29Soft balls.
15:32Soft balls.
15:33I know.
15:35I started great.
15:36Neither one of you got a match that time.
15:37We can change it.
15:38It's time for a final matchup now.
15:40Whoever is ahead at the end of this round wins this part of the game and a chance to play for a possible $10,000.
15:44All right, Oliver, you're trailing, so you'll go first.
15:47Who do you want to play with?
15:47Fred Travolini.
15:48Fred Travolini.
15:49This time, matchups are worth $100, and we'll give you 45 seconds to get as many as you can.
15:56You've got to get at least $550, though, to stay in the game.
15:58Ready?
15:59Go.
16:00Blank powder.
16:03Baby powder, gunpowder.
16:04Gunpowder.
16:04Match.
16:05Blank sport.
16:07Good sport, blood sport.
16:08Good sport.
16:09No match.
16:09Blank bono.
16:11Pro bono, sunny bono.
16:12Sunny bono.
16:13Match.
16:13Blank range.
16:15Radar range, home on the range.
16:17Home on the range.
16:18No match.
16:18Blank port.
16:20Vintage port.
16:20Airport.
16:21Airport.
16:22No match.
16:22Blank festival.
16:24Jazz festival, rock festival.
16:26Rock festival.
16:26No match.
16:27Blank rest.
16:28Arm rest, bed rest.
16:29Arm rest.
16:30Match.
16:31Blank twist.
16:32Oliver twist.
16:33Do the twist.
16:34Oliver twist.
16:34Match.
16:35Blank flakes.
16:37Corn flakes, snowflakes.
16:38Corn flakes.
16:38Match.
16:39Blank jury.
16:41Hung jury, grand jury.
16:42Hung jury.
16:43Match.
16:43Blank bit.
16:45Out of time.
16:48You got six, Oliver.
16:50You got six matches.
16:51That was a good job.
16:52Tamara.
16:53I want to say a few things.
16:55All right.
16:55You and Susan.
16:56All right.
16:56Tamara.
16:56I'll try my very hardest.
16:58Yeah.
16:58You have 550.
16:59You've got to beat 1,050 to win this game.
17:02All right.
17:03Let's have 45 seconds on our clock.
17:05Ready?
17:06Go.
17:07Blank breaker.
17:09Jaw breaker.
17:09Ice breaker.
17:10Jaw breaker.
17:10Match.
17:11Blank sign.
17:12Vital sign.
17:13Stop sign.
17:14Stop sign.
17:14Match.
17:15Blank Simon.
17:16Simple Simon.
17:17Carly Simon.
17:18Simple Simon.
17:18No match.
17:19Blank eyes.
17:21Old blue eyes.
17:21Betty Davis eyes.
17:23Old blue eyes.
17:23Match.
17:24Blank coop.
17:26Chicken coop.
17:26Flew the coop.
17:27Chicken coop.
17:28Match.
17:28Blank Floyd.
17:30Pretty boy Floyd.
17:31Pink Floyd.
17:31Pink Floyd.
17:32Match.
17:33Blank liners.
17:34Flat liners.
17:35Ocean liners.
17:36Flat liners.
17:36No match.
17:37Blank roast.
17:39Fryer's roast.
17:39Chuck roast.
17:40Chuck roast.
17:40Match and win.
17:43Good thing.
17:44See?
17:50Tamara.
17:51You did it again.
17:52You did it again.
17:53Good work.
17:53Good job.
17:54Yay.
17:55Good.
17:55Oliver, we have to say goodbye to you.
17:59Happy holidays, though.
18:00We have some nice things for you backstage.
18:01Thanks a lot.
18:02Thanks.
18:02Goodbye.
18:03We're going to be right back having these works with our super match, folks.
18:10Yes.
18:15Now, don't be nervous.
18:16Okay.
18:16Don't be nervous, dear.
18:18You're going to win over $10,000 here.
18:20You were here before.
18:22You have $1,400 plus your other money.
18:23You just won.
18:24So now let's go for the big dough, huh?
18:25Great.
18:25Okay.
18:26We pulled a recent studio audience, got their best response to this.
18:30I have to look around the clown.
18:32What does it say?
18:33Blank detector.
18:35Blank detector.
18:36Now, if you can guess the most popular answer, you get $500.
18:38Second most popular answer, $300.
18:40Third best answer is worth $200.
18:42Of course, you can get some help here from three of our stars.
18:44Okay.
18:44Tom?
18:46A lie detector.
18:47Lie detector.
18:51Marsha?
18:52Metal detector.
18:53Yeah.
18:53That's good.
18:53Yeah.
18:53That's good.
18:54Metal detector?
18:54Yeah.
18:56Smoke detector.
18:57Oh, that was a good one.
18:59Smoke detector.
19:00Lie detector.
19:00Metal detector.
19:01Or detector of your own?
19:03I'm going to go with smoke detector.
19:04Smoke detector.
19:05All right, let's see.
19:08What was the $200 answer, please?
19:10Metal detector.
19:12$300 answer?
19:15Smoke detector.
19:16Metal detector.
19:17Metal.
19:18Smoke detector is it?
19:19It's a lie.
19:20Now, what was the $500 answer, out of curiosity?
19:22Was it a lie detector?
19:23Yeah, it was.
19:24Okay.
19:24So, you have $3,000.
19:26That means you play for $10 times that, or $3,000, rather, by matching one of our stars
19:30head-to-head.
19:31Double that amount with a lucky spin on the Wheel of Christmas.
19:35Here we go.
19:38The Wheel of Christmas.
19:39It's the Wheel of Christmas.
19:40Holiday cheer.
19:42All right, spin that.
19:43Let us know who you're going to play with.
19:49Double.
19:49Double.
19:50Marshall.
19:50Double.
19:52Double.
19:53Right in the middle.
20:10Marshall is your partner.
20:11Come out here, if you will.
20:13All right, you're going to be playing for $3,000 worth of little cocktail sausages.
20:18No, it's money.
20:19It's real money.
20:20Marshall is your partner.
20:20Marcia, write down your best answer for this.
20:25Dressed blank.
20:30I have to have an exact match now.
20:32No help from our audience.
20:33She has her answer.
20:35Okay.
20:35Dressed blank.
20:37To kill.
20:37Dressed to kill.
20:42$3,000, Marcia.
20:44Can you match?
20:44Dressed to kill.
20:45Well, all I had to do was look at Tamra.
20:47She is dressed to kill.
20:48No.
20:55Good work.
21:10Good work.
21:11You come back with our champion.
21:12We'll talk about that in a moment.
21:13Please stay with us, folks.
21:21See, Tamara, it's totaling up now.
21:23$5,550.
21:26Fabulous.
21:26And you come back as our champ on the next show.
21:28So we'll see you then, folks.
21:30Bye-bye.
21:31Departing contestants will receive Advanced Formula Centrum,
21:35a high-potency multivitamin, multimineral formula
21:37with beta carotene.
21:38Centrum, more complete from A to Zinc.
21:41Koala Springs blends sparkling natural mineral water
21:44with exotic fruit juices from Australia.
21:47Deliciously refreshing.
21:48There's nothing quite like a Koala.
21:50MagnaBox, portable stereo AM-FM dual cassette recorder
21:53is smart, very smart.
21:55Its turbo-based generator gives it great sound performance
21:57furnished by MagnaBox.
21:58This is Gene Wood speaking for Match Game.
22:14I'm Mark Goodson Television Production.
22:17Thank you, folks.
22:20Hey, moan!
22:20Ha ha ha ha!
22:21Ha ha ha!
22:26Congresswomaniao
22:35has become a monster kullan� of the Florida democr VP.
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