- 24 minutes ago
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00:00It was Christmas Eve
00:30Oh, my name's the love of the world.
00:56I love it.
01:00I love it.
01:02Got on a lucky one.
01:06Came in and looked into one.
01:10I've got a feeling.
01:14There's years remaining.
01:18So happy Christmas.
01:23I love you, baby.
01:26I love you.
01:30Everyone needs a song.
01:32I love you.
01:34I love you.
01:36I love you.
01:38I love you.
01:48They got cars big as bars.
01:50They got rivers of gold.
01:52But the windows run through you.
01:54When you first took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve.
01:58You promised me Broadway was waiting for me.
02:00You were handsome.
02:02You were pretty queen out of New York City.
02:04When the band was played.
02:06You know she's invited Adam and Alia, don't you?
02:08Oh, don't.
02:10I mean, she could have invited one of your axes.
02:12Balance it out a bit.
02:14Who's she?
02:15The cat's mother?
02:16Do you like what I got, Eva?
02:18It reminds me of that quote from the Bible.
02:20Pearls before swine.
02:22Ma.
02:23What?
02:24Why is everyone so serious?
02:26Come on.
02:27It's Christmas.
02:28Our first guest has arrived.
02:30Merry Christmas.
02:31Hiya.
02:32My secret Santa contribution.
02:34I hope I'm not too early.
02:35Oh, of course not.
02:36Nalan's been on the eggnog since breakfast.
02:38The mouth on that.
02:40Let me get you one, Megan.
02:42Wait till you taste it.
02:43You'll die.
02:46Mwah.
02:47Don't let her get to you.
02:48Rise above it.
02:50Oh, I'm rising.
02:52Practically transcendental.
02:59Closed?
03:01Closed on Christmas Day?
03:05I mean, it's like the ravens have left the tower.
03:08They will be opening later, I believe.
03:10Family meal?
03:12I mean, lucky for some, eh?
03:14In case of I'm all right, Jack, if ever I've heard one.
03:17Happy birthday, David.
03:20Yeah.
03:21Ta.
03:22Oh, yes.
03:23Happy...
03:24You know.
03:27Merry Christmas.
03:28You're a little late for last minute shopping, aren't you?
03:30Oh, no, I wish.
03:31No.
03:32Wasn't late for work.
03:33See?
03:34Yes.
03:35Fascinating.
03:37I'm not surprised he doesn't want to be at home at the moment.
03:40Why?
03:42Oh!
03:43What's been happening at Lesbian Ranch?
03:52My donation for our secret Santa.
03:56Oh, yeah, the table looks dead nice, Eva.
03:58I hope you'll be handing out sunglasses.
04:01Now, Ollie, as wonderful as it is to see you bonding with little Frankie here, don't you think you should go check on the food?
04:08Of course.
04:10Everything's under control, Nan.
04:12Oh, God.
04:14He's making my favourite.
04:16A bird within a bird within a bird.
04:22You seen something you don't like, Maggie?
04:24Plenty.
04:26Ta-da!
04:33Oh, I hate leaving you on your own.
04:35I'm gonna sit and mope and watch everything I've circled in the TV Guide.
04:41Well, at least you know I'll come back sober.
04:43Yep, Kev's enough to make anyone mean that.
04:46Right.
04:47Come on, then, me and you.
04:48Let's get off.
04:50To see Jack and open some presents.
04:52See you later.
04:53Oh, some presents?
04:54Your presents!
04:56It just feels weird being here.
05:05Especially when I'm leaving Leanne to fend for herself at speed, darling.
05:08Well, they invited us.
05:09And Ollie's meant to be a great cook, so...
05:11Come on.
05:12Open it.
05:16It's symbolic.
05:17Of what?
05:18The key to your heart?
05:20Listen.
05:21I love you.
05:22And I think we should move in together.
05:24In fact, we can pick up the keys for Kit's old flat at Red Bank whenever you want.
05:30Are you serious?
05:31Yeah, I'm serious.
05:32Ollie and Azir, will you make me the happiest man on earth?
05:35I'll move in with them.
05:37I'd love to.
05:38What did you think you were doing?
05:43Come on, babe.
05:44It's Christmas.
05:45One or two won't hurt.
05:46As long as it's only one or two.
05:48Bird within a bird within a bird sounds very Henry VIII.
05:55Divorced, beheaded, died.
05:57Divorced, beheaded, survived.
05:59I always find that last one very disappointing.
06:02Hey.
06:03Hey.
06:04Merry Christmas.
06:05Merry Christmas, Daniel.
06:06Hello, young man.
06:07Just wanted to give Megan a Christmas present.
06:09Oh, and is this your little guy?
06:12Couldn't you just eat him?
06:14Come here to me.
06:16Oh, you're gorgeous.
06:18You must stay for dinner.
06:20We'll set two more places.
06:22We have more company.
06:24Well, I'm sure Daniel's got other places to be.
06:26Hey, us barlows would do anything to avoid Tracy's crusty old nut roast.
06:31Perfect.
06:32We'll take the little lad upstairs to where the other kids are playing.
06:35And would someone give Daniel here a drink from the bar?
06:39Thought we weren't doing gifts.
06:41Well, aren't you going to open it?
06:42A weekend away at the Dovedale Spa for two.
06:54Oh, wow.
06:55That's supposed to be amazing.
06:59Will!
07:00Sorry about him.
07:13He's missing his girlfriend.
07:15Chloe and Hull.
07:17Bless him.
07:22So, Audrey's gone to Gales for Christmas, has she?
07:25Did she fly?
07:26Yeah, bless her.
07:27Oh, I so miss air travel.
07:30You know, the glamour of the trolley dollies, in-flight entertainments,
07:33and on one particularly memorable jaunt across the Grand Canyon,
07:36the giddy thrills of the Mile High Club.
07:40I hope you two don't want feeding.
07:42David!
07:43Worry not.
07:44We're not peripatetic noshers.
07:46We just dropped by to wish you felicitations of the season.
07:50And a happy birthday, of course.
07:52Sorry, David's a bit stressed.
07:54His birthday present from his mum's gone missing.
07:56Oh.
07:57Well, I'm not bothered.
07:58Do I look bothered?
07:59Yes, David.
08:00Actually, you look incredibly bothered.
08:01Oh, the curse of the light-fingered postman strikes again.
08:04Abidemi is not light-fingered.
08:06Abidemi's quite fit, actually.
08:08Oh, broad.
08:09You know, Mother swore blind that she sent me
08:13Ben Shepherd novelty coasters last Michaelmas.
08:16Did they arrive?
08:17Did they poncho?
08:18Gail sent a picture that the delivery driver took.
08:21Whose doorstep does that look like to you?
08:23I mean, I had to make my own out of cork flooring,
08:26pastry cutter and a couple of taker breaks.
08:28Well, it's classic Gail, innit?
08:30She's got a postcode to a house that she lived at
08:32for four million years.
08:34Could that be Tim and Sally's?
08:37Well, it won't be a stupid present, anyway.
08:42Oh.
08:43Now that is one hell of a moist breast.
08:47Oh.
08:48Plumptious, that's what it is.
08:50Oh, my taste buds think it's Christmas.
08:52Oh, hang on a minute.
08:53It is.
08:54It is Christmas.
08:55And compliments to the chef.
08:56Yeah.
08:57Thank you, Todd.
08:58Cheers.
08:59Cheers.
09:00I'm the sous chef.
09:04Did you get my email?
09:06Oh, I'm so sorry.
09:07That's so rude of me.
09:08Um, yes, thank you very much.
09:11What email?
09:12Oh.
09:13Summer's got him the most amazing gift she was telling us before.
09:16Lovely.
09:17Oh, I am.
09:18I'm jealous.
09:19I am.
09:20I am spitting feathers.
09:21Right, so you know he really fancies Andrew Scott.
09:23So I have got him tickets to an Andrew Scott retrospective
09:26at a film festival, including a Q&A with the man himself.
09:30Oh.
09:31Was Andrew Scott in Etty Wainthrop?
09:32Oh, lucky Etty.
09:35I don't think so.
09:37Didn't know you were such a fan of his canon of work.
09:40I don't think it was that canon he was interested.
09:45Ah, what did the kids get you for you?
09:46Was it socks and smellies?
09:47Oh, kids, honestly.
09:50They can be so unimaginative, can't they?
09:52Do you know what Daisy got me one Christmas?
09:54What?
09:55A pencil sharpener.
09:57Oh, no, they've not got me now yet, but I'm sure that'll be rectified soon.
10:02Yeah.
10:03I, erm, I got tried to form.
10:05Huh?
10:06Didn't I, love?
10:07Yeah.
10:08It's gorgeous.
10:09Oh.
10:10Oh, isn't it amazing we can get in the 50-piece shop these days?
10:13Andrew Scott, though, eh?
10:15I can't think who he is.
10:16He thinks you fancy Terry Scott.
10:18He's that hot priest in that thing where she went round being posh talking to him.
10:21Oh, yes.
10:22No, I know.
10:23I know.
10:24Yeah, yeah.
10:25Speaking of vicars, Billy's taking his time, isn't he?
10:28It's his busiest day of the year, isn't it?
10:30No.
10:31Ah, all these hot priests everywhere, eh?
10:34What a lucky boy you are, Todd, eh?
10:37Oh, this is lovely.
10:38Mmm.
10:39Mmm.
10:40Really good.
10:45You all right, Lisa Lou?
10:48Erm, I got a text from Roy.
10:50He says you rang the hotel that Carla booked on and she never checked in.
10:54Oh, no biggie.
10:55Maybe she changed her mind and went somewhere else.
10:58Well, obviously she went somewhere else.
11:00The question is where, and she's disabled the tracker on her phone, so...
11:04Right.
11:06Well, I'm nipping out for an hour.
11:09What now?
11:10Well, I can't divulge too much, but even on Christmas Day there's stuff I need to sort for Spain.
11:15Crikey, you're in and out more times than I've lived in, Carla.
11:17I'm Carla.
11:19Sorry.
11:20Mm-hmm.
11:23Sorry.
11:24Hey.
11:25I just wanted to check you were cool with me and Ali have been here.
11:26Maggie kinda press ganged us.
11:27Yeah, she's good at that.
11:28It's fine, darling.
11:29You okay?
11:30My letter.
11:31Which letter?
11:32The letter?
11:33I think someone's taken it out of my bag.
11:35I think someone's taken it out of my bag.
11:36I think someone's taken it out of my bag.
11:37The music.
11:38I think she's taken it out of my bag.
11:40What the fuck?
11:41I don't think you were cool with me and Ali have been here.
11:43And I think you were cool with me and Ali, being here.
11:44Maggie kinda press ganged us.
11:45Yeah, she's good at that.
11:46It's fine, darling.
11:47You okay?
11:48My letter.
11:49I think someone's taken it out of my bag.
12:07Look, let me have a look in your bag.
12:09Maybe a fresh bit of ice.
12:10I've done nothing but check it.
12:11Fill your boots.
12:14I don't believe that it's just fallen out somewhere.
12:17Well, if it has, someone's obviously chopped it.
12:18Which is a good thing.
12:19No news is good news.
12:21I feel sick.
12:22It's not there, is it?
12:23No.
12:24Oh, do you know what?
12:24Maggie's been so off with me.
12:26But then she's like that every day, isn't she?
12:27I'm sure if she'd found it, you'd know by now.
12:29Yeah, that's true.
12:30Look, calm down.
12:32Deep breaths.
12:34All right, babe.
12:35Everything all right in here?
12:36Yeah, fine.
12:37I bet so, um...
12:43Listen, babe, I've got no problem with your ex being here but holding hands.
12:46I know, I'm sorry.
12:47What happens the next time we walk in?
12:49He's unhooking your bra.
12:50He was just giving me a pep talk.
12:51With his fingers.
12:53Babe, I was just getting wound up about Maggie.
12:55He was just calming me down.
12:56So come to me, not Bonnie Prince Charlie.
12:58I know, I'm sorry.
13:00Look, for what it's worth, I'm sorry about my ma.
13:02Which bit?
13:03All of her.
13:05Come on, babe.
13:06Strength of the numbers.
13:07You all right?
13:26I'm sorry to hear about your mum.
13:33It's what it is.
13:35Happens to us all eventually, I guess.
13:42You must miss her.
13:44Being daft, really, but...
13:46Yeah.
13:46Nothing daft about it.
13:49People are still around.
13:51You want to make the most of him.
13:54It's what we need, isn't it?
13:56What?
13:59Human contact.
14:00You haven't stolen Gail's presents.
14:06Yeah, but that looks like your doorstep.
14:09Doesn't it?
14:10That's nothing like our doorstep, you plum.
14:13Well, Mary said it was.
14:15Well, has Mary got a degree in step recognising?
14:18Well, it might have been Brian.
14:20Have you been shaming us on some sort of chat group?
14:23No, they came round for Christmas drinks.
14:25Oh, since when were you Polly with Brian and Mary?
14:29I'm not.
14:29You've never invited us round for Christmas drinks.
14:31Look, I'm sure I would have noticed if one of our presents said,
14:34Happy birthday, David.
14:36Love, Mum.
14:37Yeah.
14:39Yeah, I suppose.
14:39Well, you don't mind.
14:40I'm not bothered, anyway.
14:41You want to tell your face that?
14:43Do you know what, Tim?
14:44Forget it.
14:48Mm.
14:50Nice ta.
14:51Very festive.
14:54I made that.
14:55Yeah.
14:57A bit dry.
14:58Well, now you've had your meds and some scram, you're going to leave a nice reassuring voice note for my lady wife.
15:05No, I'm not.
15:08I'm not doing it.
15:08You know, when she realises I'm missing, she'll come looking for me.
15:14Oh, right.
15:17Do you really think so?
15:17You see, that's not the impression I got last night when she was...
15:22Oh, no, I don't want to rub it in.
15:26You can probably smell her perfume on me.
15:28If I found the evidence that you're corrupt, it's only a matter of time before there's due to.
15:37Oh, Miss World, shut your face.
15:45Just need to reply to my lease.
15:48Oh, she wants me.
16:03Maybe I'm just better than you.
16:06Oh, did I mention that we slept together last night?
16:09Again.
16:09My bad.
16:11Naughty Becky.
16:15That's what she said, actually.
16:25He's acting like you used to a serious.
16:28Oh, come on.
16:29It's not like I got him a present.
16:31Oh, me.
16:31Oh, really?
16:38Well, I feel a bit daft now.
16:41Well, open it, then.
16:46A new earbuds.
16:47Thanks.
16:51There you are.
16:53I feel I should be banging a gong.
16:55Come in now, will you?
16:56Dinner is served.
17:01I've got a skirt on.
17:04It's a skirt.
17:06Oh.
17:06Sound of music.
17:07Yes, yes, yes.
17:08My girl.
17:09My girl.
17:11Oh, I love that film.
17:14I played Maria in the ships.
17:15Oh, here we go.
17:16Oh, yeah, we did the whole thing in 40 minutes.
17:19I was basically editing highlights.
17:21It was me spinning around on the Alp, and then it cut straight to that Rolf pulling a gun on those poor kiddies.
17:26Good heavens.
17:26Oh, thank you.
17:28The wrong side of third.
17:29No, still, the audience went nuts for it.
17:32I've got loads of these fascinating anecdotes.
17:34I'll lend it.
17:35No, if you're ever suffering from insomnia, phone her up and ask her about a 12-minute chitty-chitty banquet.
17:39Right, here we go.
17:40Okay, it's the song.
17:41It's hard to tell with your acting.
17:43Oh, shut up.
17:44Five words.
17:45Yes, please, love.
17:47Okay.
17:47First word, first word.
17:49You okay?
17:51They're not answering.
17:52Who?
17:53I'm trying to video call the case.
17:56No.
17:57What are you doing?
17:59Oh, he's...
18:03There's more tips than anything, sir.
18:04I'll, um...
18:06Let's get a point.
18:09No words.
18:10Exactly.
18:11But this is so much better than Tracy's nuts.
18:14What is it exactly?
18:17It's a bird within a bird within a bird.
18:20Ollie?
18:21It's a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey.
18:24Do you like it?
18:25Yeah, it's fantastic, isn't it?
18:26Mm, so are the roasties.
18:27And this nut roast is definitely not crusty.
18:30My grandson is a very special cook.
18:34In fact, all my boys are special.
18:36And they deserve to be surrounded by special things, Lauren.
18:41How are the kids, well?
18:45Yeah, fine.
18:47You're not tempted to stay with them?
18:50My boys deserve only the best.
18:53In life, in work, and especially in love.
18:57Is it time for Secret Santa yet?
19:05Food first.
19:07Fun later.
19:11So, um, do you like being a chef?
19:14I do, yeah.
19:15Yeah, well, I'm in rubbish company.
19:17I bet you're not.
19:17Nah, I am.
19:18I could burn a salad.
19:19We'll have to pout you for speed, darling.
19:21You'll need a big pan.
19:23That wee lad's going nowhere.
19:25Wee lad?
19:26I bet you like that, mate.
19:27I think I'll always be his wee lad.
19:29A toast to my boys.
19:32Merry Christmas.
19:34Merry Christmas.
19:34Merry Christmas.
19:39Hey, the Poland Express is on later.
19:42I thought we could all hunker down and watch it together.
19:46Don't confuse the boundaries, Kev.
19:48We did this for the lads.
19:50Confuse the boundaries?
19:52I'm not throwing my lips on you.
19:53He's won.
19:54I've lost.
19:54I'm over it.
19:55Kev.
19:56Look, he might be younger than me.
19:57He might be better looking than me.
19:59Don't.
19:59You know what?
19:59I can't call with this.
20:00I've got a text card telling me what's going on.
20:03Alfie?
20:04We need to go now, kiddo.
20:06Can you hurry up?
20:07I can't call with this.
20:21Mobile, answer call on speakerphone.
20:38Colin?
20:40Colin, are you there?
20:44A bit of a weird concept, isn't it?
20:47Secrets on tap.
20:48Well, it's a bit weird buying vouchers for spa weekends for people you hardly even know.
20:53It's a family tradition.
20:55Do you know what? I actually do need socks. I said that this morning, didn't I, Adam?
20:58She did.
20:59Your pillow talk is outrageous.
21:04And the next one is for...
21:07Drumroll, please.
21:08Oh.
21:12Ben.
21:13Wee-hey.
21:18Is it a jigsaw?
21:19Oh, come on. What is it?
21:20Wouldn't you like to know?
21:25To my baby.
21:27Give it to me.
21:28Let him read it.
21:28Ben, give it to me. Please, give it to me.
21:30I said, let him read it.
21:33You bitch.
21:34Let my son read the lovely gift I got him.
21:38What is it?
21:39Oh, just evidence of an affair.
21:41What?
21:41Between Eva and Adam.
21:56Why are you so intent on killing our relationship?
22:08Maybe I don't want my son to be with a two-timing tart.
22:13Read it out to the group.
22:14Ma.
22:15It's a letter to the baby she aborted when she and Ben were going through a rough patch.
22:21Rough patch?
22:22He probably gave her a few dirty looks.
22:25He went back to his wife?
22:26And you went running back to the groin of his lordship here.
22:30Oh, sorry.
22:32Adam, my rock.
22:34This is true.
22:35Your words, not mine.
22:36There was no affair.
22:37I don't think that Adam's...
22:38Babe, I can explain.
22:39Well, go ahead then.
22:40And Adam continued to be her rock when she aborted their child.
22:45Oh, you're not a very nice person, are you?
22:47Do you know the worst of it?
22:48It's still going on.
22:49Oh, please.
22:50No, I'm not having it.
22:51It's not because it wasn't in the first place, babe, I promise.
22:54Well, it's got enough all to do with you.
22:56Is this why you two were holding hands earlier?
22:57What?
22:58No.
22:59Are you happy now?
23:00Not by a long shot.
23:02Because you have broken my son's heart.
23:04Whether or not Eva had an abortion is, frankly, none of your business.
23:08Is it not, frankly?
23:09Well, isn't it a woman's right to choose?
23:11What she chose was infidelity.
23:13What kind of a mother are you?
23:15Daniel.
23:15To do this to your own family and on Christmas Day?
23:18You can take that smirk off your face and all.
23:20Mate, I'm not smirking.
23:22Nothing happened.
23:22Who do you think you're giving your dirty looks to?
23:24You're completely misreading the situation.
23:26Aye.
23:26Well, misread...
23:27Ben!
23:27Yeah, don't worry, Betsy.
23:36I'm fine.
23:37I'm having a really lovely holiday.
23:41Only Roy rang the hotel and you're not staying there.
23:45No, I had to move in the end.
23:49I'm staying at a new place now.
23:51It's called Rhubarb Hill Hotel.
23:56Rhubarb Hill Hotel?
23:57Yeah, yeah.
23:58I'm in the busing suite.
24:01Well, I hope you're having a good time.
24:03I'm missing you.
24:17James, get dressed and get up.
24:19Abby's on her way back.
24:20What?
24:21Just hurry up!
24:22Be quiet, I'm calling her.
24:26Hiya, love.
24:27Where are you?
24:28I'm just outside the main door.
24:30Wicked.
24:31Listen, would you do me a favour?
24:32Would you just go to the car and get me charger out of the glove box, please?
24:36Now, I haven't got the keys.
24:38Oh, but I thought you always had them.
24:40Oh, God, you're lazy.
24:42Oh, no, hang on.
24:43Tell her I've got on here.
24:44Yeah, do you mind?
24:46Yeah, of course I can.
24:46I'm running out of juice.
24:47Yeah, of course I can.
24:48Just give us a sec.
24:50Right, well, come on.
24:52We need to go and get Cal's charger.
24:54It's wicked.
24:55One more move like that and I'm phoning the police.
25:09Why do you hate me so much?
25:12Sit down.
25:13This could take some time.
25:14Oi.
25:15Have you got anything to say for yourself?
25:17Oh, I've got plenty.
25:18And don't you oi me.
25:20Lies.
25:20All lies.
25:21I never had an affair with Adam.
25:23The letter says different.
25:24He supported me while...
25:26How can you trust a certain word she says?
25:28While I was supporting our baby.
25:32What?
25:33The baby was ours.
25:43What was with that stupid hotel name?
25:45Well, I don't know, do I?
25:48I didn't think on my feet.
25:49You had a knife pointing at me.
25:52I don't know why I said rhubarb or whatever.
25:54You're giving me a headache.
25:56Do you talk like this with Lise?
25:58No wonder she's gone off you.
26:00Biggest regret of my life, she said.
26:02Meeting Carla.
26:04The biggest regret of my life is following you, are you?
26:07You did not.
26:09Because I'd have known.
26:12Don't lie.
26:15Okay.
26:17All right.
26:18Costello told me the address.
26:21The rest you do know.
26:22What rest do I know?
26:24That I broke in here.
26:25That you caught me red-handed.
26:29You know, but if I were you...
26:31I wouldn't have left an incriminating burner phone
26:34just lying around linking me to a hit on Costello.
26:37Oh, you're so boring.
26:41Right.
26:43Well, I can't stand around here chewing the cud all day.
26:45People to see, wives to bed.
26:49So she's not your wife, is she?
26:52Because you're officially dead.
26:54So that makes her your widow.
26:56Funny you mention dead.
26:59Because Lisa said that sleeping with you
27:03was like going to bed.
27:06With a corpse.
27:13Happy Christmas, Ducky.
27:15Oh.
27:26Oh.
27:27Oh.
27:28Somewhere.
27:28Oh.
27:30Oh, now that is what I call a beautiful set of conflicts.
27:34Aren't you lucky?
27:36Oh, you.
27:36Yeah.
27:38It was a good service, Billy.
27:40It was.
27:40It was lovely.
27:41It was at all Christmas.
27:42It was.
27:43It was.
27:43We had carols around the crib and mince pies afterwards.
27:47Oh, mince pies.
27:48We should have gone, George.
27:49Oh.
27:50Was there, um, mulled wine?
27:53It's a family service, love.
27:55Not happy hour at the legs of man.
27:56You all right over there, Theo?
27:59You're looking a bit...
28:00Oh, I'm sorry.
28:01Oh.
28:01Oh.
28:02Are we out today in our welcome?
28:03Oh, no, no, no, no.
28:04Oh, wait.
28:05Tell us.
28:06Well, no, you can tell me.
28:07I mean, I'm very hard to offend.
28:10Unless it's racism, I do take offence at that.
28:13No, no.
28:13Honestly, of course not.
28:14You're fine.
28:15You're the worst actor than she is.
28:16I think that's bullying, that.
28:22I'm going to touch on my union.
28:23National Union of Brace and Barmates.
28:27Speaking of which, shall we adjourn to the Rovers?
28:31Oh, no, no, no.
28:31Don't leave on my account.
28:33Although I think old Tonnington's ready for a lie down, aren't you?
28:36Yeah, you are looking a bit quiet over there, mate.
28:38I think he's had one of the eight.
28:40I'm fine.
28:41That's what they all say.
28:42I'll tell you what, Billy, he'll miss you.
28:44I found out today he's got a thing for old priests.
28:46I have to get myself a dog collar.
28:48Show us what's under your catter.
28:51All right, well, yeah, well, it was nice to see you both briefly.
28:56Come here.
28:57Yeah, sorry about that.
29:01You get your bag and I'll get you a coat.
29:02Come here.
29:05Thanks ever so much.
29:09Bye, love.
29:09Bye, Summer.
29:11Yeah, get that down there.
29:12All right.
29:12You know full well when we were going through a rough patch.
29:17And you know full well why we were.
29:19Don't put that on me.
29:20So this abortion's on me, is it?
29:21The only thing that I regret about that termination is not telling you.
29:26But babe, how could I?
29:27How could I bring a baby into that?
29:29You weren't even taking my calls.
29:30You were living back with the dragon.
29:32Don't call her that.
29:33And whenever we did talk to each other, we were just taking shots.
29:36And yet you still got pregnant by me.
29:39Allegedly.
29:39Don't you dare.
29:43Sorry.
29:44I was in no fit state to bring a baby and Susie up on my own.
29:49Now, if I'd have thought for one second that we were going to get back together, I would have told you.
29:55So where does Adam fit into all of this?
29:56He doesn't.
29:57Not really, except the fact that he was a supportive friend.
30:01He was meeting a client in Hull.
30:02I bumped into him at the Paragon Interchange.
30:04He was getting the train.
30:05I was getting the bus.
30:06Kismet.
30:07Just to let you know, your pub is open.
30:13Oh.
30:14Oh, it's my pub when it suits you.
30:16Well, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt you to put a shift in, Maggie.
30:18Get your hands as dirty as your tongue.
30:20Are you going to let her speak to me like that?
30:22Very exciting to be summoned here like this.
30:29It's very nice.
30:30Quite palatial.
30:33Mind you, you must be earning a bob or two now, aren't you?
30:35So you've actually spoken to Carla?
30:39Not me, Betts.
30:41Oh.
30:42So, er, how is she?
30:45What does she say?
30:46Erm, she said she was at a hotel.
30:48Can't believe Betts actually spoke to her.
30:50It's reassuring, though.
30:52Is it?
30:53I want to be.
30:54Well, doesn't it just confirm what you've been worrying about all along?
30:59That she's ignoring you blatantly?
31:02See.
31:03I'll make a very good barrister, I will, because I've got a very incisive mind.
31:08And also, I'll look great in the wig and the...
31:11Oh, I see.
31:13My glass appears to be almost entirely empty.
31:16It's a box.
31:18Hmm.
31:18It's warm, though, isn't it, in here?
31:19It's probably evaporating.
31:21All right.
31:23Hi, Bonnie.
31:24I'm home.
31:26Oh.
31:26We have company.
31:28Merry Christmas, stranger.
31:30Is that the sister?
31:32Hello.
31:33This is Roy's friend, Evelyn.
31:35Hi, I'm Kim.
31:37Hiya, I spoke to Carla.
31:39Brilliant, finally.
31:41Er, how was she?
31:42It's hard to tell, really.
31:44Erm, what are you doing?
31:47I'm ringing her.
31:48Oh, please.
31:50What?
31:51Like she's going to answer?
31:55Don't you think it's your just-faced facts, love?
31:58And what's that?
31:59You know, maybe...
32:02Maybe?
32:03Maybe she's just not cut out to be a lesbian.
32:08No, a lot of people aren't.
32:10No, I wasn't.
32:12Sorry to send you on a wild goose chase.
32:17I honestly thought my charger was in the car.
32:20Forget my own head if it wasn't screwed on.
32:21So, what have you been up to there while me and Kev have been pretending to play up your families?
32:25Oh, just watching paint dry.
32:28Hmm, well, sounds like me and you have had very similar days.
32:33Shall we, erm...
32:33Shall we make up for it now?
32:37What exactly were you thinking of?
32:39Well, come to the bedroom and I'll show you.
32:42What's that aftershave you're wearing? It smells different.
32:51Must be that old shower gel I used earlier.
32:54What's this?
32:57It's nice, isn't it?
32:58I found it down the side of the couch.
33:01Must be the previous tenants.
33:03Now, where were we?
33:07En route to the bedroom.
33:08On a one-way ticket to paradise.
33:10I often wonder if you're a statue.
33:21Because you've got one hell of a brass neck on you.
33:24That secret Santa stunt was evil.
33:27I am a grandchild down because of you.
33:30Are you not going to defend me here, Ben?
33:32Why should I?
33:33She's right, it was evil.
33:35I'm not bothered.
33:38Put that drink down, ma.
33:40And get out of my house now.
33:43I beg your pardon.
33:44I want you gone.
33:45Are you going to side with that little tart over me?
33:51Right first time.
34:07His poor beautiful face.
34:10I do hit him.
34:12Wasn't me.
34:13When a man gets hit like that, usually over a woman.
34:17Maybe someone's got the hots for Elia.
34:20Who doesn't have the hots for Elia?
34:23Did I just say that out loud?
34:25Yes, George.
34:27Keep it down.
34:28People might think we're swingers.
34:29Oh, like these two?
34:31Behave yourself Mary's if we're swingers.
34:33I'll know what you're doing later.
34:34I'm going to have a nice shiner, thanks to you.
34:38You had no right.
34:39Oh, shut up.
34:41No, he's right.
34:43Adam, I'm sorry.
34:46I shouldn't have reacted the way I did.
34:47I've just spoken to the weaver.
34:48She's explained everything.
34:52Except my apology.
34:53Well, this won't be a Christmas that we forget any time, see?
34:58You've got a lot to save yourself.
35:01Eh?
35:02Sorry.
35:04And Elia, you've got to believe Adam, none of it's true.
35:07Oh, I never believed a word.
35:08But you want to have a word with your mother.
35:10Is she calmed down?
35:11Oh, she's packing her bags.
35:14Vastard to leave.
35:15What?
35:17Any sign of Megan?
35:18She's gone, oh.
35:20She don't feel well.
35:21She wanted me to tell you, but whoops, I forgot.
35:25Right.
35:28Listen.
35:30I know that you've got the hots for your teacher, you little git.
35:33But how about you leave her for the grown-ups, eh?
35:34There's a good line.
35:35Right.
35:36Thanks very much for a memorable day.
35:40Shall we go next door?
35:41Hey.
35:46I always wondered why you were so weird.
35:48But now that I've seen what your granny's capable of,
35:51it's all slipping into place.
36:05David!
36:07David!
36:07David!
36:11Where have you been?
36:13Er, manners, Will.
36:15I've been helping Lauren with Frankie so she could work.
36:18Daniel's already gone.
36:18He said to say tarara and that.
36:20Er, you need to be careful.
36:23Do I?
36:23Yes, Will, you do.
36:26You were so vile to Daniel today.
36:28Classic.
36:29I defend him, why don't you?
36:31You're going to give the game away at this rate.
36:33And the state of him.
36:35You know, he had his hands all over my woman.
36:38You're drunk.
36:39What's he going to be like on your little weekend away?
36:44Oh, do you know what?
36:46I can't be doing with you when you're like this.
36:47I can't be doing with you when you're going to be like this.
36:53Ha!
36:54Weird.
36:56I'm sorry, what is that?
36:57It's a stimulator.
36:58Your own mother has got you a...
36:59It's a vagus nerve stimulator.
37:02David, not in front of Lily.
37:03No, no, it's totally sleep.
37:05Shona!
37:05No, that's what it is.
37:07It's an actual sleep aid.
37:08What?
37:09Granny girl's texted.
37:10She said she sent us all a video.
37:11Oh, get it up, get it up on tablet.
37:13Go on.
37:13She'll be in our way for anti-sare and uncle.
37:14Well, she's put it on plot chart, hasn't it?
37:16She can see it on there.
37:17Oh, I can't believe she sent a video.
37:19It's me.
37:22I speak to you today on what is, of course,
37:27our first wedding anniversary.
37:29One of the longest marriages, this.
37:32Thank you, David, for my extra large jar of olives.
37:38Very funny.
37:39I hope you've all been having the most wonderful day
37:44and, of course, David, happy birthday.
37:51How can it be 35 years since I first held you in my arms?
37:58I hope by now you've unwrapped your sleep aid.
38:03I just wanted to say that, though I may be far away,
38:11you're all very much in my thoughts.
38:14And David and Shona, you and your baby are utmost in my heart.
38:25Life is never easy.
38:29Life is never straightforward.
38:31But we're a strong, resilient family.
38:37And we can weather any storm.
38:41I love you all very much.
38:45So, till the next time we speak, as the famous carol says,
38:53the hopes and fears of all the years
39:03are met in thee tonight.
39:07I wish you all a very happy Christmas.
39:17Happy Christmas.
39:19Aw, that was nice.
39:20I just want to say thank you.
39:30What for?
39:33How are you, Fawn?
39:35And just being so nice and patient today.
39:39It's our first Christmas, innit?
39:43Wanting to be special.
39:47In that case, thank you, too.
39:49For what?
39:51For being you.
39:53Your authentic self.
39:57Can't be easy.
39:59You know, with your various issues.
40:01Unless you were being sarcastic.
40:06I wasn't.
40:10Stand up.
40:13You sure you weren't being sarcastic?
40:15Yeah.
40:21You sure?
40:28Merry Christmas, Todd.
40:31Isn't that, um, Ujimaflep?
40:59Maggie, yes.
40:59From the pub?
41:00Correct, yeah.
41:01Well, introduce me.
41:02I've never met her.
41:03And, you know, if we pal up,
41:04I'm thinking free drinks.
41:05Oh.
41:06Hello.
41:07Hello.
41:09Oh, I say, what a beautiful coat.
41:11I love that colour.
41:13Merry Christmas, Maggie.
41:14I don't know if you met my dear friend,
41:19Evelyn Plummer.
41:19Merry Christmas to you.
41:21And may 2026 bring you everything
41:24you wish yourself and more.
41:26Are you off travelling?
41:29Oh.
41:29Are you all right, Maggie?
41:30No.
41:31Any idiot can see she's not all right.
41:33She's in pieces.
41:34Oh, let's just say, I've fallen out with Ben.
41:38Oh, dear.
41:40Who's Ben?
41:42My son.
41:43Well, maybe it's just bad karma, you know,
41:47because you shut the pub on Christmas Day.
41:49We were having a family meal, but everything went awry.
41:55Well, if there's anything I could do.
41:59Do you know any decent hotels around here?
42:02Well, I could drive you over to Chariot Square, if you like.
42:08Good thinking, Batman.
42:10And could you call ahead when we're en route?
42:14My phone is running out of juice.
42:16Just tell them one night, one person with breakfast,
42:21and try and get a free upgrade to a suite.
42:23Um, I'm rather sorry we came over in the test plate.
42:35And relax.
42:36My lady.
42:44Quite good, sir.
42:49I'm sorry.
42:51Isn't that my line?
42:53I should have been there for you.
42:55We got there eventually, didn't we?
42:57I'll never let you down again.
43:00I'll never let you down again.
43:27I'll never let you down again.
43:28I'll never let you down again.
43:30I'll never let you down again.
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