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Short filmTranscript
00:00MUSIC PLAYS
00:02MUSIC PLAYS
00:04MUSIC PLAYS
00:06MUSIC PLAYS
00:08MUSIC PLAYS
00:10MUSIC PLAYS
00:12MUSIC PLAYS
00:14MUSIC PLAYS
00:16MUSIC PLAYS
00:18MUSIC PLAYS
00:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:24Hello and welcome to the best of the two journeys,
00:26late night Locken!
00:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:34Now, there were so many great moments from the last series,
00:37who can forget Margot Robbie giving Johnny B a piggyback?
00:40Ah, or the time we bet Ronaldo on headers and volleys!
00:42Yeah, Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter,
00:44remember they did that acoustic version of the guy to scam the rat?
00:47That's right!
00:48But it tells you just how good tonight's show is,
00:50cos none of them made the highlight reel!
00:53LAUGHTER
00:55All right, let's take a look at what did make the cut.
00:57Roll that ten!
00:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:02Now, it's time to find out who's in the bar!
01:05WHERE IN THE BAR!
01:07Who's in the bar?
01:08WHERE IN THE BAR!
01:10I don't know how I learned how to do this,
01:11but I can balance things on my nose and my face.
01:14I can balance pretty much...
01:16pretty much anything, I think.
01:17On your face?
01:18Yeah.
01:19That's showbiz.
01:20So now, now.
01:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:24You ready?
01:26Count the three!
01:28One!
01:29Two!
01:30Three!
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:33I put one ear in first.
01:44Oh, my God!
01:46And then another one.
01:48But this is where the real trick happens.
01:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:52LAUGHTER
01:53That's amazing!
01:56That's amazing!
01:57PEAK PODY CLOCK
01:58I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:03I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:05I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:08I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:10I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:14PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:15Yeah!
02:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:22Jesus, lads!
02:23What do you say that?
02:24Can you do that?
02:25I don't want to put you on the spot.
02:26I don't know!
02:27We'll see.
02:28Watch your record, lads.
02:29Yeah!
02:30All right, here we go.
02:31What am I bloody down here?
02:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:42W containers
02:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:57I used this...
03:00zyka
03:04You yourself almost had a career as a pop star I did audition for a boy band for
03:32Louis Walsh yeah how'd it go yeah not great it was in the pod in Dublin remember
03:39yeah yeah they called my name up and I'm starting to sing I can show you the
03:43world from Aladdin I don't know I don't know what I started to avoid I started
03:55I'm in trouble so afterwards anyway you get that kept
04:00gone to me come and I want to get you I'm gonna put you in a band I was like yeah
04:03yeah okay cool I'm getting all brilliant after that audition took me outside and
04:08says maybe not this band but but I'm definitely gonna work with you in
04:11something I was like all right brilliant oh thank god I thought I really messed that
04:14up it's like yeah yeah no we get you in something I really want to do something
04:16with you I was like brilliant he said now we have to get something done with them ears
04:21yeah and I was like I was looking going huh I'm only 16 yeah yeah yeah okay yeah yeah
04:28yeah sure so I went home and it saved me man saying he said I have to get something
04:34done with my ears I was thinking my mom would say like cheeky bastard yeah yeah
04:37let me turn around and says do you want to get something done with them
04:39I was like what the fuck is wrong with me ears last week in York there was a man playing with
04:47himself up in the stalls of the show I know I was thrilled yeah I was absolutely delighted I was like
04:56shut up was he hot was he wearing a ring what was the crack because that just never happened but
05:03he was like no I I was fed I didn't know how in tech he was having a little go of
05:08himself I'd say what he wasn't having a fall right you know what I mean it wasn't
05:12full of pepper shit yeah it was a little sprinkling would you say a little sprinkling of
05:21sort of a fondle it's like he was playing three blind mice on himself because then I
05:27didn't know anyway I saw the footage of it and it was quite innocent in the end okay it
05:32wasn't the compliment I thought it was when he was removed you just went and I was like
05:37that's not that hot you should have fought for me do you know what I mean I want to stay and finish
05:42because she's still hot I just left so that's the closest thing I've had yeah I think I'm seeing
05:47him now I think we're gonna date true or false were you the only boy in an all-girls school true
05:55yeah yeah true why I don't know I didn't make up the rules not with me folks and I think they just
06:05left it so long to put me into a school that there was no in our local area there was no places left
06:10right yeah so they have to just get you have to go to school it's it's law yeah and eventually the
06:15only school that would take me was to was the girls school so I went in so I spent the first seven
06:20years of my school with all girls in my class and everything we have a picture of you here
06:24very very overdressed for a Monday yeah that was just what I wore to school yeah I look like a
06:40little cult leader in that time it's like all these little miniature wives that this little cult leader
06:46has looking back on it I was like no one's gonna want to touch me well I was wrong I didn't know
06:52it blew up and then then they tweet Putin and it was just worst thing ever hey bro how much did you pay
07:05them he's here to like Mickey the time for about a year or two after that I can mess in versions I
07:24shit myself I was like someone's just wants to stick a pen on me I've seen a poison what is your record in
07:30the long jump six thirty two six six meters point three two right well the reason we're asking that
07:37is because uh earlier myself and smacks gave it a go we didn't know what was a good length what was a
07:44bad length we've got a video here of Johnny trying to see it here we go now I just want to say I am
07:56carrying uh quad injury the grinds a bit tight didn't have I didn't have the right runners uh several things
08:04right okay would you do the honors uh yeah here you go you can reveal that um where you are there
08:09smacks got one point seven I'll take that pretty good
08:15let's have a look and see how Johnny B got on oh
08:27hey he was cheating he had really good runners on what did you get John I did slightly better I got
08:34two point two what did you see you got again six thirty six thirty two okay we're just going to explain
08:40that to people if we can you jumped there's four there's five meters six thirty two here
08:51well I have two dogs I had two dogs I've had a three-legged lurcher called Lola for years
09:04and then we fostered Mick who has four legs and and there they are there yeah I don't know
09:10I don't know what they're doing
09:13it looks like Lola's going you gotta earn your place in this house
09:27we know at the same time that say all ye jockeys you're all in the same way room
09:31you're all like kind of talking out together for want of a bit literally beside each other
09:35we're all can you can you get spicy in there like can I be
09:37yeah I mean like I can be honest like if something like cut me off now in a corner he'd be
09:41you know yeah there's kind of a code right it can get spicy there'd be a couple of but
09:45really like we're small little lads it's kind of a more man don't do that again
09:54why is samba so hard because it's all about like bounce and I'm moving your hips and your body
09:59is there any music in this place can we get a bit of samba music oh
10:09that's very fast
10:19we don't normally go that quick but they're bachicadas that you would do to that
10:23I knew it was a bachicada yeah classic bachicada so you close your feet right close your feet
10:38lads I hope you all do with us
10:40come on we all doing it and girls come on
10:42can you take a step back here we go lads right okay listen up here we go so we close our feet and we're going to go back on our right and then left so it's literally just back back and stay up on your toes wiggling your hips
10:51so we let you go
10:53boom boom boom boom boom
10:55right not bad
10:57and then we'll just shake
10:59you ready for music
11:01okay hang on hang on hang on hang on
11:03but you reckon we want people to
11:05we want people to learn to dance
11:07oh you're doing it behind the bar
11:08we want people to learn to dance
11:09yeah but there probably won't be too much samba music on in the pub in tipperary
11:13yeah okay so can we do this to a song that you might hear in a pub in ireland
11:16well we can make it work
11:17okay right lads
11:19hit it
11:20where we go
11:21one carry on
11:47only real pro presenter here you do live television all the time oh would you read
11:50the autocue and throw it to the link for us i would love to where am i going down here you
11:53see the screen's on top here here we go okay we have got a camera on the streets of waterford
11:57where everyone tell you absolute
12:04in your own time let's give her a chance
12:07we
12:09we've got a camera on the streets of waterford where everyone smells of cabbage and i'd never
12:23go there because they're all sod busting blah eating bog monsters and limerick to know what it
12:28is it's way better also i love the two audience and their fair glass
12:33the two johnnies thank you thank you well and william wrote that herself let's have another
12:44game of irish or ozzy let's head back to coogee beach in sydney oh it feels like home in a way doesn't
12:50it doesn't even just okay right so just by looking at somebody who's this lad
12:56irish or the australian this lad looks so scared get in on it get in on it oh he's got budgie okay
13:05don't say anton man you're live on television nod your head if you're up for playing a game
13:10i think he's got a big irish head in him but he's australian from the neck down
13:16if that's at all possible joanne what's your reckon i agree with you the pants aren't they they're
13:20they're not now irish man aware that's pants but he does have an irish head i'm confused audience
13:26what do you reckon irish rosie okay what's your name mate and where you from john from ireland
13:36we've got a game that we're calling we aren't family yeah so we've got a camera out in the streets
13:41of galway where all the members of the of a family are dancing to the same tune but here's the catch
13:45one person isn't in the family your job is to spot the imposter okay okay all right let's go live
13:51to galway okay here we go lads we've got the de santis family i feel like i know already
14:00from one to six straight away roddy you're looking at them who do you think is not in the family
14:07in the family yeah they're all they're all family bar one that fella number two he looks a bit wrong
14:12number three because he looks too happy no family's that happy yeah okay karen what do you reckon
14:24oh now you're going close it's hard yeah no so that's so they look the image yeah that fella on
14:29the end looks like he's just being plumped there yeah it could be him right he looks a bit awkward
14:35they say the rhythm is in the genes so let's uh find out we'll get them dancing let's see
14:39let's see is this live yeah this is live in golly yeah okay right hit the music
14:49oh i'm taking number four
14:53who do you reckon oh it's amazing number four is dancing with his pole
14:58who's not in the family oh that's so hard i tell you i think i think number three is american
15:07number three looks a bit yeah he looks american okay but sound is number one that girl looks too
15:13jolly compared to the rest okay who's not in the family
15:16three
15:18what do you call it what number four are you reckon ronnie rick is four i'll tell you what say
15:22or not because we'll find out after the break
15:44hey welcome back to the two johnny's late night lock-in
15:48now before the break we've seen the santos family on the streets of galway but one person
15:57wasn't actually part of the family john yes let's go back to galway and see lads right looking at the
16:01screens who do we think is not part of the family lads what you reckon what number
16:08what are we saying okay okay moment of truth moment of truth we think it's number four
16:12some people are saying number six would the real imposter please step forward
16:25okay number four what's your name and how do you know the family or have you ever met them before
16:30my name is kean and i have no idea who these people are put your hands together and a big thank you
16:36everybody on the street
16:53we're raising children not to play outside because it's too dangerous don't let them
16:57play outside why what in case they discover exploration independence problem solving resilience
17:02and essential adult skills and ironically leaving them indoors with the ipad where the paedophiles
17:08actually live by the way on the internet so we find ourselves in an environment
17:17i learned this recently ireland has a navy
17:24we've seven boats lads
17:25oh the dictators of the world are shitting themselves now aren't they huh we have seven
17:32ships seven vessels and their job is to go around the island to go around the island now i don't know
17:39if they go up the north right i haven't googled it yet right so they go three quarters around the
17:46island right or up there i'm a cross community comedian pick your side lads right and their job
17:53and i didn't know this when i go to bed at night on my lovely warm pillow there's men and women
17:57out there on the water away from their own families four or five weeks at a time protecting our country
18:05they're away from their own families riding each other
18:08and i'm at home and these people will never let us down if we ever get invaded
18:12but only in ireland would this happen that one day on the news the government announced to the rest of the world
18:17the world will never let us down if we ever get invaded but only in ireland would this happen
18:25that one day on the news the government announced to the rest of the world
18:31that five of the ships were broken
18:47what sort of a country announces to the rest of the world
18:52that their first line of defense is broken keep your mouth shut lads
18:57tell them you have a hundred boats and say nothing right
19:02i know the uk have a policy to stop the boats in ireland we can't even fecking start ours like
19:07you know
19:13this is the weirdest rt show i have ever done ladies and gentlemen and i just recently did high road
19:20low road for rt1 anybody see it yeah if anybody see okay you flick a coin two percent just flick a coin
19:24one person gets the high road the high-end five-star experience the other person gets a low road
19:29the shite experience high road low road colin murphy and i went to poland colin murphy got front
19:34row tickets to a cold play concert backstage passes and a chance to chat to chris martin one-on-one
19:40for 25 minutes and i got the high road
19:47stayed at home
19:50didn't chat to cold play i am single at the minute
19:53um oh yes meet me at the bar afterwards uh but i think i think i know why i'm single now i think
20:00i figured it out i think it's because i like to think i can change a man
20:05yes the girls over here as well we love a little bit of a project don't we
20:09you know the way some men like to fix cars well i like to fix men
20:14i'll look for something on the verge of breaking down and i'll be like come here to me
20:18and then i'll spend two years under that thing making sure it's road worthy
20:23don't worry guys as a comedian you're in safe hands with me i'm very woke unbelievable
20:30unbelievable like even when it comes to the old lgbqta i've got a best friend for every letter
20:36i do i've got a best friend for like lesbian that's my friend jyvonne
20:41like g that's my friend brian like t-trance that's my friend jyvonne again she's great she covers a load of
20:46letters from me actually because she's on the reel that one she's great she doesn't cover asexually
20:54at the end people who don't want to have sex but my wife sorts that one out so it's fine
21:05you learn a lot when you become a dad the breastfeeding and all that i remember the very
21:09first time ever experiencing it i was there with my wife she was trying to feed the baby it wasn't
21:13really working i didn't realize i thought it just would work all the time you know and god bless the
21:17nurses and nurse came into the room and grabbed my wife's breast and my son's head with the elegance
21:23of a builder you know like picking an extension lead out of a puddle i'll get it to work don't worry
21:31and now i kind of thrive on the awkwardness you know i love it like my my my uh my wife's dad was
21:37coming to visit when we had the baby and um i could see by the walk on the man when he walked into the
21:42living room that he was going to go for a kiss with the baby and i also knew his daughter was feeding
21:48the baby so i could have stopped him
21:57but i was bored out of my mind you know i said ah this would be good and fair play to him he must
22:03have known when he got to there but he kept going all the way down it was so awkward and then he tried
22:08to make a joke about it which is something i wouldn't recommend to be quite honest with you
22:12because the joke he went for that evening right was uh uh leave some for me you greedy little
22:17shit we haven't seen him since you know he doesn't am i the only that can
22:26see the obvious link between the decline of drinking alcohol and the rise of celibacy it's
22:32fucking obvious um siobhan and no i don't know how long you've been together
22:3924 years right we don't even need to check right unless you're muslim or a recovering addict no
22:44you were off your tits the first time you got it on with siobhan there is no there is no
22:50there is no other way there is no there is sorry
22:59guaranteed well
23:05well we know well now now that's guaranteed then i know we don't even need to check no
23:12do not confirm or deny i know for a fact you wouldn't even be here tonight you never would
23:16were it not for alcohol you would not have been created there would be an empty space there'd be
23:23no rose no i would have had to get to the point where i go i could see two of you can i smash one
23:27of you it would have been something like that wouldn't it it's bang on thank you that's it put your
23:34chips on my back now well that's it that's it i can feel the vinegar on my chinese tattoo
23:40thank you very much good evening ladies and gentlemen it's time for one of the greatest quizzes of
23:50all time it's the parish quiz
24:09i also heard your lifeguard your qualified lifeguard
24:12yeah technically yeah but i can't swim right so you're a lifeguard you can't swim you're aware of
24:18what lifeguards do yeah yeah how who how did you qualify um i did a class in school with about 20
24:26other people and i was the only one that failed and they felt bad so they passed me
24:29i'll tell you what i'm thinking dean if i'm ever in the river like please please just offer me a
24:35suit instead or something uh what are you up to yourself oh doing a bit of milking doing a bit of
24:40nursing a bit of milking a bit of nursing a bit of nursing a bit of milking yeah the two ends of it you know
24:47are you a nurse trying i'm in my i only dropped out once and i didn't drop out this past two years
24:54so i'm doing well now should get on to dean's teacher he'll definitely pass and who are you looking
25:01or who are you looking for who are you looking for
25:07pat callum he's a fellow up the road for me so right milking there nearly five years so
25:12now we heard uh you had an interest in the other roles at shalee yourself
25:18what's this what's going on i know we love so we're only about 40 minutes
25:22odd from shalee at home so we go back every year so i recognized a few of the faces when i came in
25:26this evening and i know we love it yeah and how do you think caitlin is doing oh she's fab
25:29kaitlin's a dote yeah such a good girl great answer roasterly answer
25:35100 i feel like that you're sure already
25:40do you have a favorite animal i do um snoopy the cow
25:46snoopy the cow now is snoopy the cow just your favorite or is it a pet or what oh it's a pet yeah
25:50no uh she as as a calf and a heifer she used to snoop into our pockets right to see what she
25:56could find usually sweets or something you know something good so that's why she got the name
26:02snoopy way over there there's a lot of money in there there's none of that johnny
26:08and representing us is jake kiney how are you jake too bad no not too bad well jake how are you getting on man
26:15right
26:17what has you wrecked fair long way up
26:22we're up here every week man come on yeah you could stay home with each other as well
26:26like kicking off with john in rossnery here's your question hi johnny congratulations on becoming
26:33the third johnny just to ask you who was the captain of the st mary's adult team that won the junior b
26:40championship and here's his mother
26:52it's a mirage yeah
26:55the man asking the question is standing right there
26:58and then the mother is there
27:01you obviously recognize that woman i i do yeah who is who who is it it's mommy
27:06the woman in the video is your mother yeah okay so the answer to the question is uh my brother james lynch
27:19and the answer is james lynch
27:26munter connor we're back to you let's have your next question
27:31well amy connor here i'm with the two fergals you're with the two johnny's
27:34muncheponic last won the junior championship in 1976 against spania our question for you today is
27:42whose cows are those
27:46whose cows are they out the back of the ga field right it is
27:50own brodie's cows own brodie's cows yes right well let's find out if you're right
27:55and the answer is the brodie's
27:57we're starting with nerdy here we go here's your question hi pike jillian here from the shop can you
28:08tell us which local farmer sells us these potatoes
28:11no tie that's jillian from the shop no need for first names the shop i like how i like how you're all in nerdy
28:22too much hardship to name the shop it's just a shop uh who produces them spuds
28:27uh john burn john burn okay all right john burn is it let's find out if you're right
28:35and the answer is the burns
28:49okay ashley let's go back to khalidi for your next question
28:53hi ashley margaret and mike here we're here in the shop in rahina and margaret has a question for you
28:59what year did my mother open the shop
29:07now that is khalidi's posh and becks margaret and mike
29:12oh god what year did margaret's mother open the shop oh like i think it's the 50s
29:17i'm between 53 or 54. go on give it a go 54. 1954. okay let's go back to dexter's laboratory and find out
29:25and the answer is 1953
29:40shake you ready just to go up now let's go to the premier county for our next question
29:45hi jake andy here with firma cool's two hounds but last thursday evening this hound here peppy
29:56had a big birthday party in palmukka your father was there with many others he had a cheesecake
30:01the lads had sponge cake the lads had sponge cake but what age was pepe
30:08okay the question is the question is what age was pepe the dog the last week
30:12i wouldn't invite it
30:15i didn't even get to collect the feather that
30:18uh that dog's fair old
30:2316. that's a fair age let's go back to andy and find out if you're right
30:28hi jake i hope you got it right or you'll be in trouble the next evening
30:32but mr peppy celebrated his 16th birthday
30:40it's a draw lads which means we need a tiebreaker right can we get davy russell give us a hand with
30:45this tiebreaker davy russell jump in here this this is in this item okay this is a tough quiz
30:52it's a it is a tough quiz well you see you're not from those parishes
30:55i'm not so 1953 and 1954 do you know what i mean okay lads so our question is davy russell
31:05champion jockey all his life had to be on top of his weight in order to race
31:09our question is now he's retired what weight is he
31:12what weight would you say davy he's laying him up down
31:24what would you put on him take
31:33eh
31:3488 kg
31:3988 kg
31:41what's that an old money you don't know i don't know what that is an old money yeah 88 kg
31:45ashley oh it's pure shot in the dark i'd say 85 kg okay she's went for a little the less on 85
31:52well here's the moment of the truth davy
31:54we're back in the way room oh i mean like with or without clothes
32:00we'll be back after the break
32:02we'll live on the clothes i'll just hop up on it she'll work away
32:06yeah okay including the boots
32:1188 kg which means tigers the winner
32:23now here is the moment of truth okay in one of these envelopes is an all expenses paid trip to las vegas
32:33now also in there okay is a bag of spuds from the shop
32:41which envelope are you going to take ty what's it going to be in one of them is the trip to vegas
32:45and the other is the bag of spuds we're going with this one you're going with that one closest
32:48yeah okay tiger open her up and let us know you're dead right bless yourself
32:52i mean fingers crossed to you tag hold the rest of the camera what's it going to be a bag of spuds
33:00thank you for playing
33:08free from desire
33:08These I am mine. Intenses.
33:11Please from these I am mine.
33:14This is your fight.
33:15Please from.
33:17This.
33:30No.
33:31Now ladies and gentlemen, you may not know this and we don't like to bring it up too often, but tip one the All-Ireland
33:45Take that carlo
33:49And tonight in the bar is a very important guest can I make my way down please if you don't mind ladies and gentlemen
33:55Sorry, how are you?
33:57You're not our guest, but thank you
33:59I'm not doing it with Kenny Jersey either lads because if you don't mind right here behind you all all evening has been
34:05Delene McArthur
34:11Now
34:14Tipperary we're lucky enough to win it this year
34:17But only ten counties have ever won the hurling All-Ireland championship and had the chance to climb those hallowed steps and make the famous speech
34:24So we thought we'd let some counties who have never won the All-Ireland
34:30Some people here in the audience might like to lift this like I see a whole mix of jerseys. Where are you guys from?
34:36Baltimore America
34:37Baltimore have never won it
34:41Right
34:42Is say for example is there anyone here from Tyrone?
34:44Yeah
34:45Yeah
34:47Okay, let's go have a chance
34:51This this this should go well, I think
34:54Okay, who's from Tyrone?
34:55Hooray!
34:57Tyrone have never won the Liam McCarty, have they?
34:59That's right, I know
35:00Well, would you like the chance now to lift the cup and make a speech?
35:02Jeez, I'd love it
35:03Okay
35:05Are you ready? So in your own time ready?
35:06Hooray!
35:08Hooray!
35:12Who would you like to thank?
35:14Jeez, I'd like to thank my whole family and all the good people at Tirlikin
35:17Especially my uncle Rodney Kelly, big inspiration for me
35:23No, this is this is unbelievable, never thought I'd left this thing in my life
35:28Thanks very much
35:29Give it up for Tyrone everybody
35:30Yay!
35:34Back to you, Johnny Smacks
35:36Thank you, John
35:37Now as Johnny B said only 10 counties have won the Liam McCarty Cook
35:41One of those counties haven't won it since 1998
35:46I am of course talking about Offaly
35:48Neil, do you remember the summer of 1998?
35:50Shut your face
35:53Yes, it was brilliant
35:54Absolutely brilliant
35:54First team to be knocked out and still win it
35:56When we got in the back door
35:57The way all Offaly people like to do it
36:01No, that sounded weird
36:05I'm from Rosgray, so right on the border
36:06Yeah, occupied Offaly
36:08Yeah
36:09So you know, I'm always kind of giving Offaly a ribbon
36:12But I think it's time that you know, we get the Liam McCarthy over
36:15Give it to an Offaly man
36:16Oh yes please
36:17I think it's only fair
36:17Would you like to see Neil Delamere lift the Liam McCarty Cup?
36:19Yeah!
36:21I don't know about this
36:23For the boys of Offaly
36:24Come on, what about Carole?
36:26I don't know if I can do this John
36:30There's a good chance
36:32There's a good chance I may not be able to show my face around Ross Grave for a while
36:34But Neil Delamere
36:35You've surely practiced this in the mirror as a young fella
36:37No, I knew I was so shite I didn't get anyone here
36:41I'd like to thank my uncle Rodney Kelly
36:45He's he moved down from Tyrone and this is why we won
36:49Can I do the speech I would make?
36:51Oh lads it's listen it's customary in this position
36:53When to say hip hip hooray to the losing team
36:58But it was Kilkenny and you can't beat those fuckers by enough so
37:00Yeah, put him up, lift him up, lift him, get him up there
37:15Oh blue it is a lovely colour
37:17Till it gets the second dip
37:20That's the way with the outland's courting
37:22You'll never know when he'll take a fit
37:24Madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
37:27Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
37:29Oh madam I have gold and silver
37:32Madam I have tracks of land
37:34Madam I have ships in the ocean
37:36All I'm missing is a fine young man
37:38Madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
37:41Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
37:44Oh going to the well for water
37:46Washing it around for to make some tay
37:48He fell over, I fell under
37:51All of the game was above, didn't he?
37:53Madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
37:56Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
37:58Oh madam you can tie my garter
38:01Tie it up above my knee
38:03If you want you can tie it further
38:05Madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
38:07Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
38:10Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
38:13Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
38:15Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro ditheroe
38:18Yeah!
38:21Irelanders!
38:21That's so stuff!
38:23So you can match
38:25The personality of an animal to what kind of person they should be with
38:29It's not date or relate again with animals is it?
38:31It kind of is
38:33The rural and Irish version
38:34We're back to leash
38:36There's two Jack Russells
38:39We're wondering if you could describe
38:40We've got an animal here for you
38:42Yeah this is Goujon
38:43Who is a five-year-old golden retriever
38:45I mean what kind of person owns a Goujon?
38:49Well the person who should own a golden retriever is someone that likes to walk
38:52and someone who's active because a lot of dogs are rehomed
38:55because people get a cockapoo and they live in a flat in Dublin or something
38:58So I would think a quite active person that likes walking
39:02Yeah we've got another dog for you here
39:03Yeah
39:04This is Ted Hastings who's a four-year-old golden doodle
39:08Yeah
39:09You know what kind of a person owns him?
39:10Well that would probably be an old lady or an elderly gay man
39:16Great we can tell you there are two dogs
39:18Yeah
39:20Nailed it
39:21Well well the question is which Johnny owns which dog?
39:27Who's been doing more walking?
39:31It's impossible to tell isn't it?
39:34Golden retriever
39:35Yeah
39:35That's my Goujon
39:36Yeah golden doodle
39:37I am of course
39:38He's going to one
39:38He's going to one
39:39I am of course an heavenly gamer
39:41Hello Hatch
39:45So we have a series of pictures which show you
39:47at your absolute peak
39:49So we thought we'd play a game
39:50Are you up for this?
39:51Yeah
39:51Okay it's called
39:53Game face where you have to tell us
39:55which event you are participating in
39:57just going from your facial expressions
39:59Let's have a look at your first picture
40:01It has to be long jump
40:03It has to be long jump
40:04because I always pull the worst faces to a long jump
40:06surely
40:07You reckon it's long jump?
40:08If I do that in any other event that's really embarrassing
40:11Let's find out if it is long jump
40:12Let's have a look at another photo Kate now
40:25I know it instantly
40:25Could have been a really big curry
40:27What do you reckon Kate?
40:33Has to be the shot put
40:34The shot put
40:34Has to be
40:35This is me trying to do maths
40:38Right let's find out if it is the shot put
40:40It is
40:45Let's have one more
40:46Let's have a look
40:47Okay
40:49I know it again
40:49It's a long jump
40:50Has to be
40:50Like
40:51Okay let's have a look
40:52Is it the long jump?
40:54It is you long jumping over the lift
41:00So we're going to show you
41:02some pictures
41:03This is the view you would have had
41:04When you were riding these horses winning races
41:07Did I?
41:07Are these horses that I rode?
41:08Yes
41:09Okay
41:09So let's have a look at horse number one
41:13No way
41:14No
41:14No way
41:15I didn't ride that horse
41:17It's got a double bridle on
41:19No way
41:20So
41:21You did
41:21That's one of yours
41:22That's one of yours
41:24That's one of yours
41:24Yeah
41:25There's no denying it now
41:28I know they don't all look the same when you see the photos
41:33That's one of yours
41:34They don't all look the same from behind Davey
41:38Right Davey look
41:39You rode this horse
41:39Who is it?
41:41Sam Crow
41:42It's Max
41:42Uh
41:43Well Davey
41:43Let's find out if you're right
41:45It is Sam Crow
41:48That's amazing
41:51Okay we've got another one
41:52Yeah yeah we've got another
41:53Okay Davey
41:53Here's a look at horse number two
41:58Now that is
41:59I would say a harder one
42:01Very hairy
42:04No I
42:06No you did
42:09They're all horses
42:09We know you did
42:10They're all horses you rode
42:11Right
42:12I
42:12I
42:13I
42:13I don't know that horse
42:15No
42:15Take a guess
42:16Uh if it's um
42:18Field or
42:20It's not Irish Point
42:21Oh good horse
42:22Yeah
42:24It was my last winner
42:26Yeah
42:26Yeah
42:26Yeah
42:26Yeah
42:27Yeah
42:27My last winner
42:28Yeah good horse him
42:29Uh
42:29Okay
42:29He can't hear you
42:30Yeah
42:31Let's let's let's have a look at one more
42:32Let's have a look at one more
42:34Ah the man himself is it
42:36What are you saying what are you saying
42:38Is that the tiger
42:39It is tiger oil
42:44What is he
42:45Good horse
42:46Good horse
42:47Good horse
42:47Good horse
42:48Okay
42:49Your man still gives out about your fashion choices from time to time
42:52I mean is it fair to say she's trolling you a bit
42:54When I'm she is my ultimate troll
42:56I had to ban her from texting me when I'm live on television
43:00Because it was
43:01Oh state of your hair
43:02Jesus
43:03Bit heavy with the makeup
43:04Bit heavy with the makeup this morning
43:06Do you think that that
43:07Do you think that shirt is right
43:08Oh my god are you pregnant
43:09Did you forget to tell me
43:10And this is just
43:12Wait in the middle of the show
43:13In the middle of
43:14Like it will start at seven and it will not stop until ten
43:16So I had to ban her
43:17We have some of the messages that your mam has sent you
43:19Oh no
43:19She's got up
43:22This is for you
43:23The hair is it
43:24The hair is a big page
43:25Can't see your face with your hair
43:27Yeah
43:27So this is in the middle of the show
43:28You might check your phone with the brain
43:297.40 in the morning
43:3020 to 8
43:31I've been on air for 40 minutes
43:33We have another one here
43:35Hair lovely but you're very pale
43:39It's not the time Mary
43:40We're living in different times
43:41Mary is on fire at 8.19
43:43We've got another one here
43:44Hate that blouse mirror
43:45Bin bin
43:46And I think this is my personal favourite
43:52Love your jumper
43:53TV3 keep showing your spanks
43:57We've wondered like what it's like to get hit by a professional boxer
44:00Yeah
44:00And thankfully Johnny B has said he's willing
44:06To get hit by a professional boxer
44:07So
44:12Pretend he's Putin
44:13Would you?
44:15This one's not that parted
44:17Good, good, good
44:18It is
44:19It is a bit
44:20Give it to Mick
44:20Fucking give it to him
44:22You sound like that
44:23Yeah
44:24All right
44:25I'll get it wrong
44:26Oh
44:27Oh
44:28Oh
44:28Did you see it?
44:29Did you see it?
44:30Did you see it?
44:31Oh
44:32Oh
44:32Oh
44:33Oh
44:34Oh
44:34Oh
44:35Oh
44:35Oh
44:35Oh
44:36Oh
44:36Oh
44:36Oh
44:37Oh
44:38Oh
44:38Oh
44:39Oh
44:40Oh
44:40Oh do you want more?
44:41You hit me with your bad hand
44:42I appreciate that
44:43Oh
44:45Oh
44:47Oh
44:49Oh
44:51Oh
44:53Oh
44:58Well I have to show all your time for tonight lads
45:02Back in the house for the two Johnnies late night lock-in season finale
45:08Yeah, yeah, fuck you, yeah
45:13Sure it's excellent, actually to Maniac
45:18All right
45:21Let's do this
45:23Oh
45:25Oh
45:28She walked across the dance for that night
45:30She was dressed to kill
45:32She was a sexy lady
45:33She had to get her thrill
45:35How did she get it?
45:36How did she know?
45:37How did she know?
45:37All the music
45:37The beat
45:38The temple
45:38She was long for that night
45:40She was hit for the fight
45:41She said greetings
45:43She said greetings
45:43All the time with a new chair
45:44All the time with a mic in the left hand
45:45It's been all fun to boot in
45:47Are you ready now?
45:48Move to the rules now
45:49Why?
45:49It has no meaning
45:51Are you ready now?
45:51Move to the madness
45:52Of a party night to you
45:54We bring this group to you
45:55Are you ready now?
45:57Are you ready now?
45:59Move to the groove
46:01Put your hands up in the air
46:03Put them up
46:03What's the more questions I ask you
46:05Are you ready?
46:09Woo
46:10Woo
46:11Go
46:11Go
46:12Go
46:13Go
46:14Go
46:15Go
46:16Go
46:17The single person in the house tonight
46:19Look who you see
46:20She's a maniac
46:22She's a maniac
46:23Maniac
46:25Maniac on the floor
46:27And she's dancing
46:29And she's dancing like she never did before
46:33Why do you run the two Johnnies dance floor?
46:36She's a maniac
46:37Maniac on the floor
46:39Sing it
46:40And she's dancing
46:42And she's dancing like she never did before
46:46Oh yeah, so it's a patient time. She said, put your hands in the air. Side to side like you just don't care. Everybody in the house on a party night, scream up back to me.
47:00A huge thank you to everyone here in Swan's bar tonight. And thank you to all of our guests throughout the series and thank you at home for watching.
47:28Now for a very special performance from Dan McCabe playing Grace
47:58They have told us who we must earn liberty
48:06Well all I want in the sterile place is the heart who heals me
48:16Oh Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger
48:24You'll take me out of the dark and I will die
48:31With all my love I place this wedding ring upon your finger
48:41There won't be time to share a whole for me the same
48:49Oh Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger
49:00They'll take me out of the dark and I will die
49:06With all my love I place this wedding ring upon your finger
49:19There won't be time to share a whole for me the same way
49:27There won't be time to share a whole for me the same goodbye
49:42There won't be time to share a whole for me the same goodbye
49:47Thank you
49:49Thank you
49:51Thank you
49:53Thank you
49:55Thank you
49:57Thank you
49:59Thank you
50:01Thank you
50:03Thank you
50:05Thank you
50:07Thank you
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