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Never Mind The Buzzcocks S33E08 Christmas Special 2025
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00:00Welcome, welcome to Nevermind the Burst Corks, it's the Christmas special!
00:29Christmas, it means something different to everyone, doesn't it?
00:35You might think tinsel, turkey, merriment, but I know what you really want.
00:39You want a Christmas show where the legal team have asked to remove a joke about Cliff Richard because, and I quote,
00:44on top of being bad taste, there were potential defamation issues.
00:47Well, you've hit the motherlode here.
00:54Joining Jamali on Noel's team tonight.
00:57It's not about the money, money, money.
00:59A Brit awards winning global superstar who has sung with Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande,
01:04and a singer who we at Buzzcocks have got a secret about that could ruin her.
01:07We must have, otherwise, why is she here?
01:10It makes no sense.
01:11I don't know what she's done, but she's done something.
01:14What have you done?
01:15What have you done, Jessie J?
01:17And on Sophie's team tonight.
01:24When will I, will I be famous?
01:28Lead singer of the multi-platinum selling Bross, who's on record as saying he's water skied with The Edge,
01:34he's played table tennis with Keith Richards, he's shared a scotch with Frank Sinatra,
01:38and he's had lunch with Princess Diana.
01:40And tonight, he lands the big fish.
01:42He sits next to a pregnant woman from Bolton, who told me that she once got drunk on a train with Dev from Coronation Street.
01:50He's done it!
01:51It's Matt Goss!
01:53And also on Sophie's team, an award-winning comedian and actor who is famous for Man Like Mo Bean,
02:04and I'm with him.
02:05Man do like Mo Bean.
02:06And this man likes Mo Sausage, Mo Bacon, stick a couple of hash browns on.
02:10You can keep your cooked tomato.
02:11Let's eat.
02:12It's the brilliant Guzcan!
02:19Christmas.
02:20Christmas.
02:21Is it special to you all?
02:24You haven't done a Christmas show with us, Soph, before?
02:26I've not, no.
02:27They're your favourites, aren't they, lads?
02:29It's the worst one.
02:30Why is it the worst one?
02:32You are the worst one.
02:33Are you not a Christmas fan?
02:35I've got to spend time with the family and stuff, haven't I?
02:37You already live with your mum.
02:39Yeah, I do live.
02:42You've got to come out of your room, though.
02:44You've got to get off the PlayStation for a while, haven't you?
02:47And do you know what the thing is?
02:48That's actually what pisses me off, I've got to get off the PlayStation for a while.
02:50Jessie, do you like Christmas?
02:52Are you a big Christmas fan?
02:53I love Christmas.
02:54Great, innit?
02:55Yeah.
02:56I love it.
02:57November 1st.
02:58Halloween's done.
02:59I'd have thought it would have been the opposite for you.
03:01You look like a Halloween child.
03:02Well, you look like brother and sister.
03:06I sat down on set, I thought it was in the Tim Burton movie.
03:08But I've got a little baby, so I'm excited for Christmas is a whole new thing now.
03:12Ah, yeah.
03:13Is it the first Christmas?
03:14Yeah, the first one he understands.
03:15He's two, innit?
03:16Yeah, he's two and a half.
03:17So you didn't give him one last year?
03:18No.
03:19Definitely not.
03:20I've got a mate who has that policy with his children.
03:22No gifts, no celebrations until year two.
03:24That's fair.
03:25I did it.
03:26Yeah.
03:27I know someone who threw a surprise party for a one-year-old.
03:30And I was just like, you know, you don't have to do that.
03:32You just pop up from behind a tea towel to surprise him.
03:37Gus, you've got loads of kids.
03:38Is Christmas a big thing in your house or not?
03:40Love Christmas.
03:41Yeah.
03:42It's a time for me and my wife and five kids,
03:45and we've got this new forced tradition where early on in the day,
03:49Tommy Robinson comes around and he does a protest in our front garden.
03:53Immigration and Islam and all that.
03:56Doesn't it fill your heart?
03:57It does, yeah.
03:58Obviously none of that's true, but I wish it was,
04:00because Christmas is usually shitter at our house.
04:02There's nothing going on.
04:03Ladies and gentlemen, Matt Goss is here.
04:06Yeah, yeah.
04:07Woo!
04:08Matt, I was genuinely a massive Bross fan when I was at university.
04:13It was our house song, I owe you nothing.
04:16I want to bond with you now.
04:17I'll tell you this.
04:18I once had sex to that song.
04:19OK.
04:20I once had sex with a woman who threw a Marks and Spencer's Goodsbury fool
04:23on my penis.
04:24What?
04:25Licked it off like a big cat.
04:27So you've got a blowjob and dessert.
04:35Christmas, big thing for you?
04:37I love Christmas, but I feel like coming back here after being in the States,
04:40it arrives in, like, October, and it's just too much.
04:43It's too much too soon.
04:44Yeah.
04:45You know, it's just overkill for me.
04:46When do you want it to come?
04:47Like, December 15th.
04:50Really?
04:51That is very specific.
04:52That is a very quick lead-up.
04:53How do you fit it all in?
04:55Well, that's a very personal question.
04:57There you go.
05:00Just with your thumb, innit?
05:01Yeah, yeah.
05:02For me, at my age, it's like an old marshmallow.
05:07You've both done versions of Silent Night, right?
05:09Yeah.
05:10Can we have some live Silent Night?
05:11Oh, my gosh.
05:12To start the show?
05:13I'm sure we did it in the same key.
05:14Let's find out.
05:15The world is calm, the world is bright, round yon Virgin Mother and Child.
05:35and child
05:37Holy
05:39if I
05:41so tender
05:43and my
05:45sleep
05:47in heavenly
05:49peace
05:51sleep
05:55in heavenly
05:57peace
05:59Beautiful.
06:07That was lovely.
06:09I feel like me and God should have wrapped at the end.
06:11Yeah, you wrap our beatbox
06:13between us.
06:15I think that's the one connection no one ever wants to see,
06:17is you and me and me rapping.
06:19I can beatbox.
06:21Can you rap while Sophie beatboxes?
06:23No, I can't.
06:25No, I can't.
06:27No, I'm just going to lay back.
06:29I've just given him a beatbox.
06:31Hold on, let's have a little bit of beatboxing for me.
06:33All right.
06:35I need to be stood up I think actually.
06:39BOOT
06:41BOOT
06:43BOOT
06:45BOOT
06:47BOOT
06:49I lost my nerve.
06:55Watching a pregnant northern woman beatbox.
06:57That round of applause was the definition of charity.
06:59It was, yeah.
07:01OK, shall we crack on with the show?
07:03Yeah!
07:05Here we go.
07:06The first question is for Sophie's team
07:08and unsurprisingly, guess what?
07:10It's about Christmas music legends.
07:12Take a look at this.
07:13I made my wish come true
07:17All I want for Christmas is you
07:23It's the season
07:25Love and understanding
07:28Merry Christmas
07:30Everyone
07:32Christmas time
07:34Mistletoe and wine
07:37Children singing Christmas
07:41CHEERING
07:43APPLAUSE
07:45That was Mariah Carey shaking Stevens
07:50and the smell of TCP on your dying grandma's skin, Cliff Richard.
07:54What?
07:56Sophie's team.
08:00Can you tell me which one of these Christmas legends
08:02has created an absolutely insane Christmas recipe?
08:06Is it?
08:07Cliff Richard has a special Christmas gravy
08:09that consists of eight stock cubes, two beef, two chicken, two lamb and two vegetable.
08:15He tops it off with teriyaki sauce and Worcester sauce along with some fried onions.
08:19And if you think that sounds mad, he freezes jugs a bit so that his family don't miss out.
08:25LAUGHTER
08:26Or is it?
08:27B.
08:28Whilst appearing on a festive edition of Sunday Brunch,
08:31Shake and Stevens made gingerbread iced with chicken liver pate.
08:34He told Simon Rimmer
08:36The idea popped into my head.
08:38Next thing you know, I was slaughtering one of my hens.
08:41When the panel tried Shakey's creation, got one dry heaved so hard they had to cut to a break.
08:46LAUGHTER
08:48Or was it C.
08:49In 2006, Mariah Carey revealed she makes seafood Christmas puddings.
08:54I substitute the raisins for caviar, the candied peel for prawns and the brandy for tuna brine.
09:00However, in 2024, she admitted she hadn't made one for years, saying,
09:05I'm in a much better place now mentally.
09:07LAUGHTER
09:09APPLAUSE
09:11There you go, Sophie's team. One of those, incredibly, is true.
09:15Cliff sounds less weird now.
09:17Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
09:18LAUGHTER
09:19Yeah.
09:20So, obviously, you try and decipher what people are cooking by, maybe, like, cultural heritage, right?
09:25Yeah.
09:26That's the way I'm looking at it.
09:27So, Cliff Richard, is this uncle, um...
09:29He's just straight up...
09:30Uncle.
09:31White uncle.
09:32What?
09:33Sorry.
09:34I'm sorry, George, I didn't expect to be asking this.
09:35Do you know who Cliff Richard is?
09:37Yeah, but...
09:38Yeah, I've seen him.
09:39He was the guy that was with the nice hair just now, yeah?
09:41That's the guy with the nice hair.
09:42So, is he...
09:43Because he looks a little bit, like, ambiguous, you get what I'm saying?
09:45Yeah, he's got that David Dickerson tan.
09:47Yeah.
09:48LAUGHTER
09:49Where you got, like, you second look at him, you go,
09:51Hey, wait a second.
09:52Yeah, he's...
09:53Should I be saying...
09:54Should I be saying, hello, uncle, or hello, uncle?
09:56Like, I don't...
09:57To me, that sounds the same.
09:59Does it sound the same?
10:00Let me do it one more time.
10:01Hello, uncle.
10:02Hello, uncle.
10:03There you go.
10:04There you go.
10:05Wow, I could watch this all night.
10:07Sorry, you're not sure what race Cliff Richard is?
10:10I don't think there's anyone more white than Cliff Richard.
10:17What do you think?
10:18So, Shaky Stevens made a gingerbread...
10:21I don't think he'd have done that, do you?
10:23Chicken pate.
10:24I've met Shaky.
10:25If it helps, I can give you some insight into his character.
10:27Please do, yeah.
10:28Yeah.
10:29He was pretty quiet.
10:30OK.
10:32That does actually help.
10:33Because if he was quiet, he would have made the bold choice
10:37of chicken liver pate with gingerbread.
10:39Maybe you can rule it out based on that alone.
10:41I'll rule it out, yeah.
10:43Do you think Mariah Curry reveals she makes a seafood...
10:47I don't think she ever cooks.
10:49Have you met Mariah?
10:50You must have met Mariah.
10:51Yeah, I've worked with her.
10:52Is she nice?
10:53Yeah, she's super cool, yeah.
10:54Is she?
10:55Yeah.
10:56I had a friend that had a bit of a...
10:57They had a bit of a beef.
10:58And I ended up, like, putting together and they're good friends now.
11:00Is this someone famous?
11:01Yeah, it is.
11:02Who is it?
11:03Come on.
11:04Come on, bro.
11:05Come on, mate.
11:06Is it Cliff Richard?
11:07It is.
11:08For fuck's sake, it is.
11:09God, tell us, Matt.
11:10We won't put it in the show.
11:11Of course not, no.
11:12No.
11:13Not my first rodeo, mate.
11:14Just saying that.
11:15LAUGHTER
11:16Wow.
11:17Shall I give you some facts that might help you decide?
11:22Yeah.
11:23Yep.
11:24In an interview, Mariah was asked if she cooks her own Christmas dinner
11:27and she said this.
11:28She said,
11:29I do and nobody believes me.
11:31And in the same interview later, she admitted,
11:34Well, I help.
11:35LAUGHTER
11:36And then a little bit further in the interview, she said,
11:39I do a bit of seasoning.
11:41LAUGHTER
11:42Jessie, you went to a lot of effort for Christmas once, didn't you?
11:45When I was pregnant, I was in LA and I didn't want to come home,
11:50so I flew my family to me.
11:52And the plumbing in LA houses isn't the best.
11:55And there was a lot of food consumed,
11:58which meant there was a lot of toilet trips.
12:00It was rough.
12:01And basically, the burst pipes, there was literally, like,
12:04shit water coming out of the floorboards.
12:08What?
12:09Yeah.
12:10Here's the story.
12:11You were having Christmas Day but the house got full of shit.
12:13Basically, yeah.
12:14Because, honestly, the story they asked me to prompt
12:17was that you once went abroad on holiday
12:20and you took a suitcase full of stuffing.
12:22They didn't mention a house being full of shit.
12:24Oh, really?
12:25Oh, yeah, that's a different story.
12:27Oh.
12:28I mean, that is another story that I saved, yeah.
12:31I prefer the house full of shit one.
12:33But, yeah.
12:34I was so pregnant, I was just like, yeah, I know.
12:36How many months?
12:37I was five and a half months, but everyone was like,
12:39she's about to drop.
12:40And I was like, no, just over halfway.
12:43Yeah.
12:44See, I just had a big old baby.
12:46Did you?
12:47Big as Greg.
12:48Yeah.
12:49Did you know in advance?
12:51They keep telling me I'm having a tall baby.
12:53Well, my boyfriend's tall.
12:55So, every scan, he was just really long.
12:57Yeah, that's what, mine's dead long.
12:59And his feet was stuck under my ribs.
13:01I'm going to have a vagina like a basset hound.
13:05I'm really...
13:07Well, I'll tell you, I'll tell you now,
13:09this is probably TMI, but totally off,
13:12but just woman to woman, baby to baby.
13:14Yeah.
13:15So, when I prep for a natural birth,
13:16I did this thing called the epi-no,
13:18where you put, like, a balloon in your hoo-ha,
13:20and then you blow it up to the size of a baby's head
13:22and you give birth to it, like, every night
13:24for, like, the three weeks before.
13:26Sounds knacker in there.
13:27So, I did that, and then ended up having a C-section.
13:31Oh.
13:33So, now I've got the most inappropriate party trick.
13:36It's just...
13:38I'm sorry, you were putting a big balloon inside yourself
13:42and then birthing it every day.
13:44Yeah.
13:45BALALALALA, BALALALA...
13:51What do you reckon? Let's get back to the question.
13:52We're going to have to make a decision soon.
13:54I think Cliff, just because it's the least weird.
13:58I'll just throw this in for you now, cos it might help you.
14:00Cliff Richard was born in India.
14:02So, he was born in India?
14:04Yeah.
14:08So, what happened? If you're born in India,
14:09If you're born in India, you just retain the tan for the rest of your life.
14:14He was born to two white parents.
14:16Well, that's what he thinks.
14:18Ah!
14:20Yeah.
14:22Let's get an answer. Is it Cliff's gravy?
14:24Sure.
14:30Is it Cliff's gravy, Shakey's gingerbread pate,
14:33or Mariah's seafood pudding?
14:34Sophie, let's get some points on the board.
14:37I'm just saying Cliff, you're just quite fascinated by him being Indian.
14:41I'm just quite... Yeah.
14:42Cliff Richard.
14:44Here we go. It's got to be.
14:45Oh, my God, you're right!
14:46Yeah. The answer's A!
14:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:53Cliff makes his own special, disgusting gravy.
14:57Sophie's team, that's a point to you!
15:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
15:04The next question is for Noel's team.
15:06Can you tell me which of these stories led to Elton having the worst Christmas ever?
15:11Was it A!
15:12In 1979, while enjoying a festive buffet, Elton tried borsan cheese,
15:15which of these stories led to Elton having the worst Christmas ever?
15:20He told NME, by the end of the year, I was eating 14 pucks a day.
15:24I wasn't even using crackers, I was just biting into them like an apple.
15:29LAUGHTER
15:30LAUGHTER
15:31Or was it B!
15:32Elton went to the airport to pick up his lover who was staying for Christmas.
15:38When Elton arrived, he found out that on the flight over, his boyfriend had decided that he wasn't gay and run off with the air hostess.
15:42Elton never saw his boyfriend again.
15:47LAUGHTER
15:48Or was it C!
15:49Whilst present shopping in Harvey Nicks, Elton got his head stuck in a £4,000 polar neck sweater.
15:56Writing in his autobiography, he said,
15:57I was so embarrassed, they had to cut me out with a pair of medical scissors and then they expected me to pay for it.
16:03As I said at the time, it was B!
16:04It wasn't B!
16:05It wasn't B!
16:06Elton went to the airport to pick up his lover who was staying for Christmas.
16:08When Elton arrived, he found out that on the flight over, his boyfriend had decided that he wasn't gay and run off with the air hostess.
16:13There you go. Your team. One of those is true.
16:34I love that B!
16:37It's a puck, is it, of B!
16:39Well, that's what Elton claims.
16:41I mean, the image of him biting into it like an apple.
16:44God, I hope that's the truth.
16:46I think it's B, just because I think that is the thing that would ruin your Christmas.
16:51Like, A, C's a bit embarrassing, but B, like, you know what I mean?
16:56I think, A, that's a... I think an addiction is shameful.
16:5914 pucks.
17:00That would ruin my day.
17:02Do you want to be reminded what Elton looks like?
17:04See if he looks like a man who'd eat cheese like an apple?
17:06Yeah.
17:07Here he is.
17:08Yeah.
17:09He looks cute.
17:10I love that picture.
17:11That's what my nan's face looked like when she found out that despite Brexit, we were still trading with Europe.
17:16So I'll give you a few facts about Elton, then we'll make a decision.
17:27Throughout the 70s, Elton John and Rod Stewart used to try and outdo each other with Christmas gifts.
17:31One Christmas, Elton upstaged Rod Stewart massively.
17:34In an interview, Rod said,
17:35I bought him a pop-up fridge from Harrods.
17:38You pressed a button and there'd be steam and lights and a bottle of champagne.
17:42It cost me £600.
17:44He said, oh, very nice to hear. Thank you.
17:46Then he gave me a Rembrandt painting.
17:48Oh, wow.
17:49Rembrandt.
17:50An actual Rembrandt painting by the artist Rembrandt.
17:54Fucking hell.
17:55I've never felt so stingy.
17:57Mad, isn't it?
17:58A Rembrandt painting.
18:00Yeah.
18:01Mad.
18:02That one of the guy eating a puck of cheese.
18:05Love that one.
18:06Let's make a decision, folks.
18:08What do you think, A, B or C?
18:09I like the idea that his head got stuck in a jumper.
18:12That'd be quite nice, wouldn't it?
18:14No.
18:15I don't think it's polo neck.
18:16We're not getting him cut out.
18:17But then it probably is polo neck.
18:18Can we mix the two?
18:19Could he not fit in the polo neck because of the cheese?
18:22That sodium will slice you up.
18:24You think there's a chance the answer's going to be A, C?
18:26Yeah, A, C.
18:27It could then be B because his boyfriend didn't come
18:29because he got so big from the cheese.
18:31Is that right?
18:32Yeah.
18:33The answer is A, C, B.
18:35OK, so, the answer is all of them.
18:40Elton's boyfriend decided he wasn't gay because Elton had eaten lots
18:44of cheese and got his head stuck in a jumper.
18:46Yeah.
18:47Send it up to the top, Greg.
18:49Yeah.
18:52We owe it to Borsan to say punks.
18:54I'm down for the cheese.
18:55Are you down for the cheese or are you saying B?
18:57I'm saying B, basically.
18:58I think it's B, but who cares?
19:00We all think it's B, but we're going to say cheese anyway.
19:04I think it's B as well, but I think, weirdly,
19:07we're going to just say A.
19:09Yeah, OK.
19:10You're wrong.
19:11The answer is B.
19:12Yeah!
19:13Yeah!
19:16Elton's boyfriend apparently changed sexuality,
19:18ran off with an air hostess, and Elton said he's never
19:21heard from him again.
19:26Hard luck, Noel's team.
19:27Well done, Sophie's team.
19:28No points to Noel.
19:29One point to Sophie.
19:30Hooray!
19:31Time for a little break now.
19:37I'm just going to have a little sip on Cliff's gravy.
19:40That's not gravy!
19:42Welcome back to Nevermind the Buzzcocks' Christmas special.
19:56The show that, until one hour ago, had a joke about P. Diddy's secret Santa gift in it,
20:01which our legal team sent us the following email about.
20:04Please, 100% lose this!
20:07Six exclamation marks!
20:09Next up, it's the intros round.
20:11Here we go.
20:12Noel and Jessie, on your feet, please.
20:13You'll be performing the intro of a song to Jamali.
20:16, take it away.
20:18Aaaaaaaa..
20:21écn pitch
20:28score
20:33troisième
20:35Principal
20:41Jamali, what do you think?
20:42I don't know.
20:43That can't remember the note now.
20:45the note now i can't pass this over get ready to steal the worst i've ever sang ever
20:53jamali i'll give you one last question i'm gonna pass it over yeah pass it okay
20:57and around the christmas tree rocking around that is right
21:04it was rocking around the christmas tree by brenda lee and here's how it should have sounded
21:15that was brenda lee was rocking around the christmas tree brenda lee once said to me
21:21christmas is about loading up on meat and then farting like a tractor all day
21:26she did not say that but you try and find a funny brenda lee quote
21:30next song please song two take it away
21:33dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum
22:03Yes. What about a sleigh?
22:05Santa's sleigh. What do you do on a sleigh?
22:07Flying on the sleigh. No.
22:09There's a snowman next to me on the sleigh.
22:11You've got... I'm going to tell you,
22:13you've got the word sleigh right, and if you don't get it this time,
22:15I'm passing it over. Ah, fucking...
22:17Sleigh swimming?
22:22I don't know. It's just swimming.
22:24Happy Christmas, everyone. Sleigh swimming.
22:28Sleigh. I'm passing it over. Sleigh bells ringing.
22:30Wrong. You're both wrong.
22:32It was Sleigh Ride by the Ronettes.
22:34Here's how it should have sounded.
22:53That was Sleigh Ride by the Ronettes, which was included on the album
22:56A Christmas Gift For You from Phil Spector, which sounds a lot nicer
23:00than the Christmas Gift I got from him one year.
23:02I wanted Lego Phil.
23:03What the hell am I supposed to do with a corpse?
23:05OK.
23:10Well done, you guessed.
23:11Nought! Correct!
23:12All right, Sophie and Matt, it's your turn to perform to Guz, song one.
23:21Take it away.
23:22DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN D
23:52doing the song though what is it is it like um like knight rider no that's what you tell you
23:57what it does sound like knight rider but that's what was in my head do you know i'm going to pass
24:02it over i'm going to say knight rider ba-da ba-da ba-da ba-da ba-da ba night rider it's definitely
24:08not knight rider it's uncle bro oh it's so there in my head listen you're both wrong
24:15it was the waitresses with christmas wrapping oh let's hear how it should have sounded
24:22that was christmas wrapping by the waitresses in 2015 carly minot covered the song with iggy pop
24:40well she thought it was iggy pop it turned out to be an old dog chew from behind the sofa that
24:43absolutely honked next song please if this one is knight rider i'm gonna shit on the stage
24:52this is good this sounds like the song
25:07knight rider again
25:11you're not gonna get this this guitar riff by matt gosh is absolutely bang on
25:15do do did it do nope no no no you can't see me by tupac shakur
25:22close close close close so so close i'll pass it over yeah you just when is it the one the
25:29the crackhead in it
25:33talking about shane mcgowan yeah shane mcgowan yeah it's it's not the one with the crackhead in it
25:39you know it's night rider i wish it were night rider you're both wrong it's christmas time by the
25:46darkness here's how it should have said that was christmas time by the darkness justin hawkins once
26:03said i think the more successful you are the bigger your hair gets and he's right that's why the
26:07jackson five was so successful well it was their hair and their dad beating them with a stick
26:13yep i know sophie's team hooray naught correct
26:20at the end of that round noel's team have no points but sophie's team have two points
26:25the next game is called zig zagwa and it's a game all about the weird isolated bits in songs
26:39released at christmas time we're going to play five sounds from five songs and all you need to do as
26:44teams is to name the songs that the strange sounds come from you get a point for each one you name
26:49correctly noel's team you're up first here is your mashup listen to this
27:08i think that's surfing usa is that is that telly tubbies or mr blobby
27:12i'll say mr blobby well well i think it's mr blobby if you look at it well i'll tell you now
27:17correct one point yeah so mr blobby yeah last christmas
27:22uh no no we have it one more time yeah one more time
27:42what was that till sound of the underground correct two points
27:46surfing in the usa nope oh oh i'm out that's all we got okay two i'll pass it over some extra
27:53points here sound of the underground they've already got that one i wish it could be christmas
28:00correct yeah for a stolen point yeah you've got one no you're all right i thought i thought i just
28:10had a stroke um um no is it um cat amongst the pigeons it isn't cat amongst the pigeons no
28:17sound of the underground did you have another one if anyone else says sound of the underground
28:21what about um that that dj spin was it no they're not boom boom shake shake the room is what i was
28:28thinking because that starts with a what that down by down that sound of the underground
28:33okay so the full list is wizard i wish it could be christmas every day mr blobby by mr blobby band-aid
28:49do they know it's christmas i can't believe you didn't pick boy george out girls allowed the sound
28:55of the underground i think we've established we got that one and the final one was south park with mr
29:00hanky the christmas pooh well done gnoll's team got two points and sophie's team picked up a bonus
29:09point yay all right sophie's team your turn here's your mash-up
29:17there you go you get the guesses first so the first one yeah i've lost my brain let's twist again
29:36one of them do you want to hear it again no no um oh fuck something's happened do you want to hear it
29:40again sorry so do you say fuck something's happened yeah yeah something i was i had three then okay
29:47hear it again yeah god
30:00i have no idea is that i think this baby brain thing is actually real you'll be all right
30:06genuinely um yeah fucking whitney houston sings um uh what does she sing so i will always love you
30:14correct one point um and then we went to matt any matt but that's but i thought it was that it is
30:22i thought it was that's a twist again but it isn't it's not you just kept saying that at me no but is it
30:28sorry there was a bomb bomb bomb that's a christmas number isn't it
30:33because i'm just a bit concerned for sophie's general welfare to be honest yeah yeah yeah
30:39i won't do what you tell me bloody hell yeah that one what's the song called oh uh uh oh
30:45fucking um um um it was it was a christmas number one do you need a cup of tea sophie no you don't
30:52don't song it's that's it over greg i won't do what you tell me okay that's it over gregory
30:58um you've got i will always love you that points in the back all right is it killing in the name of it
31:06is killing in the name of and is it the frog song paul mccartney the frog crazy frog the frog chorus
31:16it is the frog chorus yes you've got two left and then is there rate petite yes it is rate petite
31:25yeah you've only got one missing i know is it the one or did you get that no that's
31:33it's not crazy fog no you're not gonna get it okay i'll tell you who they all were it was
31:40whitney houston i will always love you sophie's team got that yeah rage against the machine killing
31:44in the name of no scene like that bob the build is the one you all missed can we fix it jackie
31:51wilson rick petite paul mccartney the frog chorus so sophie's team got one point and noel's team got
31:57three points at the end of that round sophie's team have four points noel's team have five points
32:14time for a quick break i've just got to pop off and wrap my niece's christmas present
32:21welcome back to never mind the buscox christmas special you want another legal note don't you
32:37this is a genuine quote from our lawyer i can't find any record of christopher doing drugs
32:42i know it's a fake anecdote but please lose the bit about him being on the gag again
32:47after christmas our next round is called it's behind you a game celebrating the christmas tradition
32:55of panto noel's team you're playing first everyone please make your way to the game area
33:08all right noel's team behind you there is a pop star who is appearing in panto this christmas
33:13each of sophie's team is going to tell you who it is but two of them will be lying it is your job to
33:19work out who is telling the truth for the audience at home please look away now if you don't want to
33:24know who it is as i reveal the panto star okay because who is behind the curtain this is a lady called fey
33:37from steps sophie who is behind the curtain lee ryan matt who is behind the curtain toy wilcox why have
33:50they all said it like the person's died is lee ryan the blonde hair one from blue yes was he saying
33:58something vaguely racist did you did he say sorry no no no no no no he's a good guy yeah i like him
34:09but he's a good guy um what was what was lee ryan wearing he was in costume and he had his winkle
34:15pickers on was he dressed as an elf no i think he was somebody who was in jack and the beanstalk
34:21probably was toya there toya was there yeah um how tall is she she's probably five foot two i think
34:31she's she's wearing fishnets and high boots yeah you lying absolutely
34:40oh my god that was a good that was good because what character is fey playing fey from steps is
34:49made marion in robin hood so what was she wearing like made marion clothes like you know
34:56you know them long sleeves and that medieval shit yeah maybe it was and she had shoes on and stuff
35:04i don't know i don't believe you all right
35:11he's lying so much and he's pretending so much that it's not his one guys could be telling the truth
35:17that's what i think i think you're telling the truth i thought you said i was lying no but i mean
35:21in a sense of double bluffing like you're making it seem like you don't know but you do
35:25shall i tell you the truth i didn't even know this show was about music so don't take what i said
35:28seriously i don't really know what's happening i've got five kids at home i didn't tell my wife
35:34i was leaving the house i'm in a lot of trouble when i go
35:38it could be toya you know have you met toya before i've met her so many times and you said she's how
35:44how tall five two ish he seemed like a man who would know a woman's height just by looking
35:53he could really just what character is she playing huss in puss in boots i think it's funny he said
36:01puss i might have to go with that funny word it's a funny word it's a great word it's a great word
36:07now i think whose was yours again lee ryan yes yeah yeah i hope not because i said that thing
36:13at the beginning yeah that's gonna be awkward all right now now it's time to decide that i'm going
36:22with guys that's me yeah i think it is yeah all right we'll go faye with stuff from lovely all
36:27right let's see if you're right will our panto star please step through the curtain
36:31oh thank you all right yeah very good thank you how are you all right merry christmas merry christmas to
36:55see you as well yeah you're in pantomime already we're going through to the um first of february
37:00in uh birmingham at the hip drum wow yeah get sparkly and fun for christmas what a welcome
37:06christmas edition faye from steps yes robin hood robin hood is till the first of february
37:16what can i say matt goss was amazing he was great i knew it was fey tozer and i started to think
37:27it might be toyer okay sophie's team's turn so if you could swap places teams good luck kids
37:36for the audience at home please look away if you don't want to know who it is
37:39noel's team starting with jamali please tell us who is behind the curtain it's bez from happy mondays
37:54playing widow tranky in aladdin and can i say before i go further my god i hope that's true
38:03no who's behind the curtain it's terry from east 17
38:07and he's playing buttons in cinderella jesse who's behind the curtain um it's kelly from eternal
38:16she's playing the fairy in sleeping beauty you read that really really badly which means you're lying
38:21did i oh she did quite well yeah you did no you because you you're really quick yeah yeah she might
38:27just read badly are you ruling out that's from the happy mondays yeah yeah
38:33i am sadly yeah yeah yeah i'm ruling it out why are you ruling out what's wrong with you is he
38:38all right i don't know i just can't that's a good point actually but what part would he play in a
38:43pennant man um widow twanky
38:48you saw him at the back actually yeah you did and i said to him i said oh you're playing widow
38:52twanky and you went oh yeah yeah mad for it yeah mad for it i think it's terry for me 17. buttons
38:59in cinderella he had sort of a military outfit with big different color buttons on it what color
39:04buttons well there's yeah i think it was yellow red and blue so you caught that all in one go
39:09well i just noticed the buttons because the outfit is sort of like a maroon and then there's like
39:13a detective show called goss sounds great it's just him slapping people going slick
39:25i'm on your team you're making me want to say no comment you're nervous bro
39:30j j j who who was your person again kelly from eternal and she's no no fairy and sleeping beauty
39:37right what was she wearing a blue dress and she had a wand i think we should go with kelly just tell me
39:43the truth i'm your captain i think you should i trust your instincts i'm sorry there's a whole
39:48thing going on here with good girls whispering to jamaali just tell me the truth i'm your boy
40:01so so team captain we've got with that yeah jesse j all right you're saying it's jesse j
40:07and she knows the truth the person behind the curtain is kelly from eternal kelly from eternal
40:12let's see if you're right will our panto star please step out oh
40:18it's page of the channel
40:34jesse was telling the truth apart from the dress bit that was my favorite song going on angel of mine
40:41it's a good alpha actually when i first saw i already knew yeah come on that there was something
40:49inside of you oh such a good song something i thought i'd never find angel of mine
41:00i don't want to spoil that but can we do it again with sophie beatboxing
41:12jesse was telling the truth and you can catch kelly at the floral pavilion in new brighton
41:17playing fairy snowfall in sleeping beauty until the 4th of january thank you kelly
41:22goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye join me
41:35and at the end of that round sophie's team have five points and noel's team have six points
41:42so far final round it's time for next lines noel's team your time starts now have yourself a merry
41:49christmas let your heart be light have yourself a merry little christmas let your heart be light
41:56from now on all your troubles there we go from now on all your troubles will be outside frank sinatra
42:00have yourself a merry little christmas old mr crinkle is soon gonna jingle soon gonna jingle
42:06the bells that'll tingle all your troubles away yes jesse jay the man with the bag christmas time
42:13mistletoe and wine it'll be lonely this christmas without you to hold shaking stevens no it'll be
42:28lonely this christmas without you to hold it'll be lonely this christmas um without you i'll give it
42:37you lonely and cold mud lonely this christmas i see a little silhouette of a man will you do the
42:44fandang yes queen bohemian absentee it's the sound of the underground it's the sound of the underground
42:51breathe petite the finest girl you're ever gonna meet the beat the beat of the drum goes round and
42:56girls allowed sound of the underground all right well done now's team you've got four points
43:14right here we go you ready yeah your time starts now baby if you've got to go away don't think i can
43:21take the pain stay now stay now stay stay another day yes will you stay another day he's 17 stay
43:29another day when will i will i be famous oh i can't answer that bros when will i be famous when will
43:37i see my picture in the paper i can't answer that correct bros when will i be famous welcome to my
43:44christmas song elton welcome to my christmas song oh yeah i'd like to thank you for the year elton john
43:54stepping to christmas bob the builder can we fix it yes yes we can yes we can bob the builder yes we
43:59can we can fix it i really can't stay but maybe it's cold outside i have to go back yeah yeah i have to get
44:09home i've got i've got it it's not right but turn me on i've got to go away dean martin baby it's cold
44:27that sound means it's the end of the round and the end of the show and i can tell you that sophie's
44:31team have nine points but with 10 points our winners tonight are noel's team thanks to jesse jay
44:44noel jamaali guzz sophie and matt it's 40 years this year since live aid so we've done our best to
44:52recreate do they know it's christmas this was our plan ask the original singers to take part if any of
44:58them say no we'll replace them with professional tribute acts see if you can work out who we've
45:03had to replace happy christmas good night it's christmas time christmas christmas there's no need to
45:20be afraid don't be afraid don't be afraid at christmas time in the christmas time we let
45:27light in and we banish the shade banish him banish him oh plenty we can spread a smile of joy throw your arms
45:40around the world around the world at christmas time
45:47but see a friend
45:51and pray fight the other one
45:55at christmas time it's hard but when you're having fun
46:01one there's a world outside your window and it's a world of dread and fear
46:12well tonight thank god it's them instead of you
46:18okay
46:25do they know it's christmas time
46:29at the world
46:34let them know it's christmas time
46:41oh
46:48let them know it's christmas time
47:11oh
47:18oh
47:29oh
47:31oh
47:33oh
47:35oh
47:37oh
47:39oh
47:41oh
47:43oh
47:45oh
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