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The Last Leg Season 33 Episode 10
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FunTranscript
00:00Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:01So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:04These simple lines be good for your health
00:06And keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
00:08May it block life like you just don't care
00:11I believe it's never scared
00:13Rain and noise is the moment they fear
00:15Get up, still a beautiful idea
00:18Get up, throw your hands in the head
00:20Get up, it's shit
00:22Get up, get up, get up
00:25Get up, get up, get up
00:27Get up, get up
00:29Make some room in the stable
00:34Kick the donkey off the couch
00:35And get ready to watch Three Unwise Men
00:37It's Friday, we're live
00:38And it's time for The Last Leg
00:40Tonight on the show
00:43We ask what's up with the US President
00:45Get our heads around Christmas
00:47And get across some sporting heroes
00:50Plus we'll be joined by comedians
00:52Fatia El Ghorey and Roisin Conaty
00:55On the show that sometimes
00:57Doubles down on the news
00:59G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:10Hello
01:11Welcome to The Last Leg
01:14The show that's currently rethinking
01:15Some of the children's books
01:17It bought for Christmas
01:18With me as always
01:19With the pride of Dartmoor
01:20Josh Whittacombe
01:21And the man who thought
01:22A doctor's strike was what you get
01:23When your GP holds their Christmas party
01:24At a bowling alley
01:25Alex Brooker
01:26Now if you missed the show last week
01:36So did I
01:37I was hosting Stand Up To Cancer
01:40Josh and Alex were in charge of the show
01:42And there was a plan for me to make it here
01:45From Stand Up To Cancer
01:46For the very end of the show
01:48Yes, that was your plan
01:49Apparently so, yeah
01:50Somewhere during the plan
01:51It became apparent
01:52The only way I was going to make it to the studio
01:54Was on the back of a motorbike
01:55Yep
01:56I can't tell you how many things went wrong
01:58There were roadworks
01:59We hit every red light
02:01From Stratford to here
02:02This is why I left Devon
02:04For Devon
02:05I fucked that up already
02:07This is why I came back to host the show
02:11At one point
02:14We were stuck
02:14And I'm not making this up
02:1520 cyclists
02:1720
02:17In the road in Hackney
02:18Fuck's sake
02:19I employed 25
02:20So five of them had done one
02:21At one point
02:24The guy
02:24So I was on the back of a motorbike
02:25At one point
02:26The guy in the front of the motorbike
02:27Said
02:27Because you have little headphones
02:28So you can talk to each other
02:29He said
02:29Hold on
02:30I'm going to try something
02:31Now the two places
02:34You never want to hear that
02:35Are on a bike
02:36And in bed
02:36Either way
02:39My arsehole clenched
02:40And in both cases
02:43What we did
02:44Was borderline illegal
02:45And involved me
02:47Wrapping my arms
02:47Around someone I'd just met
02:48And I'd like to apologise
02:50To any bystanders
02:51And it was so
02:52I was so close
02:53To making it to
02:54Oh I thought you were going to say
02:55I thought you said
02:55I was so close
02:56On a bucket of bike
02:57We were close too
03:00Once I got changed
03:02I tried to get to the studio again
03:03I was so close
03:05To making it to air
03:06We had our social media guy
03:07Jordan filming
03:08On a phone when I arrived
03:09In case we could use it
03:10For this week's show
03:11So I'm going to show you
03:11His footage
03:12Alongside what was
03:13Genuinely going on
03:15On air
03:15In the studio
03:16At the same time
03:16To show you
03:17Just how close
03:18I came to making it
03:19We've just heard
03:21Hilsey isn't going to make it back
03:23But we've got one more surprise
03:25And AJ and John
03:27Can you take the Hans mascot costume
03:30Off to reveal our final winner behind you
03:33There we go
03:34It's Max Specialist Nurse
03:37Our names are Josh Winnickam
03:48And Alex Booker
03:49We'll see you next week
03:51For the next league
03:52I can be your hands baby
03:56I can hands away the pain
04:02Oh yeah
04:03I will hands by you forever
04:09You can take my hands away
04:16That will
04:42Can I just say
04:46You were running
04:46Like your arse
04:47I would clench
04:47But I thought
04:49I was going
04:50Because I thought
04:51My pizza had turned up
04:52You had the look
04:54On your face
04:55Of someone
04:56Who knows
04:56He's just missed out
04:57On his appearance fee
04:58We are live
05:00On your telly right now
05:01So you can send us
05:02Any questions you want
05:03About the news
05:03Message us on Instagram
05:04The hashtags
05:05Is it okay
05:06WhatsApp
05:06The number is
05:0707956175908
05:09Or you can scan
05:10The QR code
05:11On your screen
05:12For example
05:12Is it okay
05:13That Alex
05:14Got a DM
05:15From his hero
05:16Last week
05:17Yes I did
05:17DM you
05:18Go on brooks
05:20What happened
05:21Well so
05:21It was big news
05:22For me this week
05:23So I did
05:24Thierry Henry
05:25Got a lifetime
05:26Achievement award
05:27At the BBC Sports
05:28Personality of the Year
05:29Awards
05:29And I did a video
05:30And he played
05:31Soccer for Arsenal
05:32Right
05:33Yeah
05:33Football
05:34Football
05:34He played football
05:34He did
05:36He was very good
05:38At it
05:38And
05:40Yes
05:41I did this video
05:42And then
05:42On Wednesday morning
05:44He just started
05:45Following me
05:45On Instagram
05:46And I have never
05:48Have a look
05:49At this
05:49So this is
05:50Nine seconds
05:51After he followed me
05:52I screenshotted that
05:53That is the fastest
05:55These little hands
05:56Have ever moved
05:57When you consider
05:58That you ejaculated
05:59And cleaned up
06:00Between them
06:00But I was
06:03I was so excited
06:03And he was
06:04Very lovely
06:05He sent me
06:05A message
06:06To say thank you
06:08He sent me a DM
06:09To say thank you
06:10For the message
06:10And I was losing
06:11My shit
06:12And then I worried
06:13About you know
06:13What do I
06:14What do I want
06:15Like what do I
06:16Reply back
06:16Because I don't want
06:17To seem too thirsty
06:18But at the same time
06:19You just recorded
06:20A video about
06:21How much you loved him
06:22Well yeah
06:22And I just wanted
06:23To reiterate
06:24What I said
06:24In the video
06:25But yeah
06:25I sent him
06:27A message back
06:28And I was like
06:28He's not going to reply
06:30But then
06:31And then
06:31Thierry Henry
06:32Responded to Alex's message
06:34While we were having
06:35A last leg meeting
06:36And can I say
06:37Normally
06:37If I've got my phone
06:38Out during the meeting
06:39He gets the ump
06:40How do you know
06:43How can you tell
06:44The Aussie eyes mate
06:45We recorded
06:47Alex's reaction
06:48To getting
06:49This response
06:50From Thierry Henry
06:51Oh my god
06:53He's typing
06:53Oh
06:54I feel sick
06:55Oh
06:56Hopefully
06:57I can see you soon
06:59Can I say
07:10That's my version
07:17Of the Kevin
07:18McAllister
07:19But I can't reach
07:20My secret
07:21I'll do the half
07:23McAllister
07:24I can't wait
07:27I can't wait
07:27Till it's revealed
07:28That Thierry Henry
07:29Had his Instagram
07:30Account hacked
07:30Alex just got
07:33Another message
07:34Saying
07:34I've got some
07:35Problems from the bank
07:36Can you chance
07:37For me
07:37£10,000 please
07:39How many people
07:40Follow you
07:40To have a statue
07:41Of themselves
07:42Well I am followed
07:43By Horatio Nelson
07:44By the
07:45So have you replied
07:47To him saying
07:47Hopefully I can see you soon
07:48Because like
07:49I don't want to seem
07:50I know
07:51What are you right
07:51Like I don't know
07:52February 14th
07:53Do you have plans
07:56For Christmas
07:56I wouldn't put it past you
07:58Do you write
07:58Just
07:58Zootropolis 2
08:00I think the worst
08:02Response to
08:03Hopefully we'll see
08:04Each other soon
08:04Would be
08:04I'm outside your house
08:06Well the good thing
08:08Is I found
08:08A motorbike rider
08:10Who actually gets you
08:10There quite quickly
08:11I'll say he does
08:14We were so
08:16We loved that
08:17Little clip of Alex
08:18And his little excited face
08:19So we've turned it
08:19Into this week's
08:20Hottest meme
08:21Hopefully I can see you soon
08:24Now the big story this week
08:33Donald Trump is suing the BBC
08:35For 10 billion dollars
08:38Now you might remember
08:39That's because the BBC
08:40Made an edit
08:40On an episode of Padorama
08:41That is perfectly demonstrated
08:43In this clear
08:44Before and after clip
08:45We're going to walk down
08:48To the Capitol
08:49And I'll be there
08:51With you
08:51And we fight
08:53We fight like hell
08:55And if you don't fight like hell
08:56You're not going to have
08:57A country anymore
08:58We're going to walk down
08:59To the Capitol
09:01And we're going to cheer on
09:05Our brave senators
09:08And congressmen and women
09:10And we fight
09:15We fight like hell
09:17We fight like hell
09:17And if you don't fight like hell
09:19You're not going to have
09:20A country anymore
09:21So basically
09:22A simple edit
09:23Yeah
09:23It was probably a dumb thing to do
09:24But according to Donald Trump
09:25The BBC went about
09:27Five steps further
09:28As he revealed
09:28In this accusing clip
09:29In a little while
09:32You'll be seeing
09:32I'm suing the BBC
09:33For putting words in my mouth
09:34Literally
09:35To put words in my mouth
09:36They had me saying things
09:38That I never said
09:39Coming out
09:39I guess they used AI
09:40Or something
09:41Well
09:44Just think
09:45Just think
09:45If we'd had AI
09:46We could have made you
09:47Arrive on time
09:48Hellsman
09:48But he didn't literally
09:52Put words in his mouth
09:53I would have loved
09:54To have seen him
09:55Literally put words
09:56In his mouth
09:56I would have loved
09:56To have seen
09:57Nagamanchetti
09:58Shove Scrabble letters
09:59In his gob
10:00Like she's stuck
10:01In a turkey
10:02Look yes
10:04It was a bad edit
10:05But as far as using AI
10:06That is an absolute pile of
10:08Ah
10:09Oh
10:14What happened to my buttons
10:15What's that
10:16What happened to my buttons
10:17That's what my kids
10:18Are going to be saying
10:19When they see their selection boxes
10:20Next week
10:21Um
10:21Yeah
10:22So we may have
10:23Yeah we might
10:23We may have made a few changes
10:25To the buttons
10:26We weren't here
10:27So we made the buttons
10:27We kind of made things
10:29More
10:29More
10:30What did you do
10:31You just use 90s tunes
10:33Well yeah
10:34You got me
10:38Nothing without my buttons
10:41In fact
10:41I kind of feel like I'm
10:43Look what I'm trying to say
10:50Is they were set a certain way
10:51I liked it
10:52The way they were set
10:53Now that I'm back
10:53Behind the desk
10:54I want it that way
10:58I'm actually starting to like them
11:00Alright anyway
11:02They're staying for next series
11:03Let's be honest
11:04Back to Donald Trump
11:05Why do
11:06What do we think of him
11:07Suing the BBC
11:08For 10 billion dollars
11:09Well I mean
11:10I'm looking forward to
11:11Panorama
11:12Doing a panorama
11:13On him suing them
11:14Over panorama
11:15I'm worried about the
11:17Hike in the licence fee
11:19When we get the licence fee through
11:21And it's 1 million dollars each
11:23I think the BBC
11:25I don't think he's
11:26Well he's not going to win
11:27No
11:27I think the BBC
11:28Have got a great defence
11:29And that
11:30Their big form of evidence
11:32That they didn't
11:32Make him seem like a bad guy
11:34Will be
11:35To show anything
11:36That he's ever said
11:37Ever
11:38And look
11:40This is all part of
11:41Trump's pattern
11:41One
11:42Sue a media company
11:43For a ridiculous amount of money
11:44Two
11:44Force them to either
11:45Spend loads of money
11:46Defending it
11:47Or
11:47Three
11:48Wait till they offer up
11:49A settlement
11:50Four
11:51Take the settlement
11:52Then know that they
11:53And every other media company
11:54Is now too scared
11:55To say anything negative
11:55About you
11:56In case you sue them again
11:57This sets a dangerous precedent
12:00Because news outlets
12:01Are supposed to keep
12:02Governments to account
12:02And they can't do that
12:03If they're scared
12:04Of being sued
12:05By that government
12:06That's the journalistic
12:07Equivalent of
12:08I'm going to
12:13Tell you the mad thing is
12:14Those buttons are being used
12:15More this week
12:16Than what I did last week
12:17So how should the BBC
12:19Deal with it
12:20Oh easy
12:20Edit together
12:22Donald Trump's speeches
12:24So it looks like he's saying
12:25I'm no longer suing the BBC
12:26I think because he's so
12:29You know
12:29He's so childish
12:30Yeah
12:31I think they should kind of
12:32They should lure him in
12:33Because he's going to be
12:34They'll go
12:34Right
12:34And you win
12:35You get
12:36Ten billion
12:37But if we win
12:39We get
12:39Disney and the White House
12:41Richard Osman's
12:43White House of Games
12:44It's a great show
12:45Well Trump's claiming
12:47He's been defamed
12:48By the BBC
12:49But you're right
12:49There are a few things
12:50That are going to make it
12:51Tough for him to win
12:51One
12:52The court case is being
12:53Tried in Florida
12:54But the program
12:54Didn't go to air
12:55In Florida
12:56Or anywhere in America
12:57Which means Trump
12:58Has to prove that people
12:59Watched it illegally
13:00On a VPN
13:01And that it caused damage
13:03To his reputation
13:04So right now
13:05In Florida
13:06There's a lot of guys
13:06Trying to convince their wives
13:07They've been using their VPN
13:08To watch Panorama
13:09Slamming your laptop
13:12It was an antiques roadshow
13:14But no one's watching it
13:16In Florida
13:16It's literally called
13:18The Sunshine State
13:19No one is staying indoors
13:21To watch Panorama
13:22Like Will Smith Miami
13:23It wasn't playing in a city
13:24When the heat is on
13:25Or lying on the beach
13:26To the break it on
13:27Or downloading a VPN
13:28And watching Panorama
13:29Do you know Will Smith?
13:32Don't pretend that you're not
13:39Loving those buttons now
13:40You feel like a DJ
13:41The BBC has vowed
13:43To defend itself
13:44Which is funny
13:44When you consider
13:44They couldn't even stop
13:45Channel 4 from taking bake off
13:47If the BBC
13:48If the BBC win
13:51You company man
13:52You miss one episode
13:54You start praising the bosses
13:56If the BBC win
13:57Surely we get to take possession
13:59Of some American assets
14:00Maybe change Mount Rushmore
14:02To I don't know
14:03Joe Marla
14:03Alan Carr
14:04Nick Muhammad
14:04And Celia Imri
14:05I think
14:07I think we should ask
14:08For Ghostbusters Firehouse
14:10Yep
14:10And then that thing
14:11From Ghostbusters 2
14:13The big
14:14The Statue of Libby
14:16And
14:16Yeah that's the one
14:18You know that prop
14:21They had in Ghostbusters 2
14:22Yeah yeah
14:22Yeah that's the only thing
14:25It's known for
14:25Expensive old prop
14:28That wasn't it
14:29You know that prop
14:30Was so heavy
14:31They've had to leave it there
14:32If Trump wins then
14:34Does he take possession
14:35Of the BBC
14:36And its assets
14:37Because the last thing
14:38The world needs
14:38Is Donald Trump
14:39In charge of an army
14:40Of Daleks
14:40Well I tell you what
14:41Greg Wallace will be back
14:42In the BBC
14:43Before you know it
14:44I think the BBC
14:48Have got a way out there
14:49Because even if he does win
14:50And he's using me
14:51He can do what like
14:52They can do what all businesses do
14:54Yeah
14:54When they can't pay it back
14:55They basically declare themselves
14:56Bankrupt
14:57And then they start again
14:58Under a different name
14:59Yeah
15:00Call themselves
15:01British Broadcasting Limited
15:02Yeah
15:03The BBL
15:03And I know what you're thinking
15:05Ah that's already taken
15:07By the cosmetic surgery
15:09Brazilian bum lift
15:10Yeah
15:10But no
15:11Because I think
15:11I wasn't thinking that
15:12To be honest
15:13No
15:13Well I think it could work
15:15For an ident
15:15Have a look at this
15:17Amazing
15:26Amazing
15:27To be fair Brooker
15:34You look good in that ident
15:36Look it is a massive week
15:38For the US president
15:39He refused to rule out
15:40A war with Venezuela
15:41He's created something called
15:43The Patriot Games
15:44And he was shocked
15:45When the board he chose
15:47To run the Kennedy Centre
15:48Changed its name
15:49To the Trump Kennedy Centre
15:51How was he surprised by that
15:54Even John F Kennedy
15:55Saw that one coming
15:56Trump then posted about
15:59The tragic death of director
16:00Rob Reiner
16:00In a way that
16:01Ironically turned the
16:02Distastefulness up to 11
16:04Meanwhile the Epstein files
16:05Are currently being released
16:07On the same day
16:08That YouTuber Jake Paul
16:09Goes head to head
16:10With professional boxer
16:11Anthony Joshua
16:12So it's a good night
16:13If you want to see rich
16:14Entitled men suddenly
16:14Having their careers ended
16:15And I'll just thank you
16:18For not making a joke
16:19About the England cricket team
16:20There thank you very much
16:21Oh how would that have
16:22Fitted in
16:22Well because they're rich
16:24Entitled men are about
16:24To have their careers ended
16:25Tonight
16:26Oh okay
16:26Haven't been lying to cricket
16:28How's it going
16:28About as well as the show
16:31Went last week without you
16:32Thank you very much
16:33Now I'm not saying
16:35Donald Trump is trying to
16:36Distract from the Epstein files
16:37But this week he made some changes
16:38To the presidential walk of fame
16:40In the White House
16:41That now looks like this
16:42You know like when a restaurant
16:45Has photos of all the famous people
16:48Yeah
16:49I think further down
16:51There's a photo of Darren Day
16:52With his arm around the chef
16:53Just saying
16:53Best tapas in Soho
16:55Darren Day
16:56Now you might remember
16:58A few months ago
16:58Donald Trump replaced
16:59The photo of Joe Biden
17:00With this picture of an auto pen
17:02This week he added plaques
17:04Under each president's photo
17:06With his own opinion
17:07Of their presidency
17:09This is in the West Wing
17:10For example the plaque
17:11Under Biden's photo
17:12Now says
17:13And this is a direct quote
17:14Sleepy Joe Biden
17:15Was by far the worst president
17:17In American history
17:18Taking office as a result
17:19Of the most corrupt election
17:21Ever seen in the United States
17:22Biden oversaw
17:23A series of unprecedented disasters
17:25That brought our nation
17:26To the brink of destruction
17:27Trump's press secretary
17:29Caroline Levitt
17:30Said the descriptions
17:31Were mainly written
17:31Directly by the president
17:32To which the rest of the world
17:34Said no shit Kaz
17:35I love the fact
17:39That so
17:39Under Trump's own one
17:41Yeah
17:41It's so long
17:42What he describes himself as
17:44It's like one of his tweets
17:45And at the bottom
17:45It kind of says
17:46Plaque one of two
17:47Apparently when Trump
17:49Was challenged
17:50Over the wording on the plaques
17:51He said
17:51I want it now
17:55You're getting into him
17:57Yeah
17:57Andy said
17:58Is it okay that the Trump administration
18:00Says sign language services
18:01Intrude on Trump's ability
18:03To control his image
18:04And that raising this
18:05Will get me banned
18:06From the USA
18:06Yeah
18:07So
18:07Disability groups
18:08Were up in arms this week
18:09Sorry
18:10I'll rephrase that
18:11Disability groups
18:15Were hopping mad
18:16No
18:17No
18:17That's not good
18:18Ramping up their
18:19No
18:19No
18:20Absolutely furious
18:21As the White House said
18:22They would not be providing
18:24Sign interpreters
18:25At Trump's press conferences
18:26Because it would
18:27Quote
18:27Severely intrude
18:28On the president's prerogative
18:30To control the image
18:31He presents to the public
18:32Now
18:33I know one thing
18:34I know this
18:35It is very hard
18:36To sign interpret
18:37For Donald Trump
18:37I know a lot of sign interpreters
18:38I work with them a lot
18:39Doing stand up
18:39Because
18:40Trump goes off
18:41On so many different tangents
18:43He starts here
18:43He goes over here
18:44He goes over here
18:45Never finishes a thought
18:46So as a sign interpreter
18:47You're like
18:47I don't know
18:48What sentence to sign right
18:50Also
18:50That funny little dance
18:52He does
18:52That could be interpreted
18:53As
18:53Oh yeah
18:54That one
18:55Yeah
18:55That's something different
18:56Yeah
18:57That's
18:57I'm wanking off
18:57That is the emoji
19:01Alex and Thierry Henry
19:02But they got him blocked
19:03Now the other thing
19:06About Trump
19:07Is he implies a lot
19:08When he speaks
19:09He says stuff
19:10And the meaning
19:11Slightly hidden
19:11But as a sign interpreter
19:12You have to
19:14Kind of get that meaning
19:15Across
19:15So it's really
19:15Really tricky anyway
19:16And look
19:17This week
19:17Trump gave an address
19:18From the White House
19:19That was so shouty
19:20It looked like
19:21He'd forgotten
19:21To turn his hearing aid on
19:23Here's the annoying clip
19:24In which he puts
19:25The tan into tangent
19:26In the end
19:28Government
19:29Either serves
19:30The productive
19:31Patriotic
19:32Hardworking
19:33American citizen
19:34Or it serves
19:35Those who
19:35Break the laws
19:36Cheat the system
19:38And seek power
19:39And profit
19:39At the expense
19:40Of our nation
19:42What in the living
19:45Fuck are you
19:45Talking about
19:46You apricot
19:48Asshole
19:49And stop shouting
19:50You're on a microphone
19:51Do you know what I mean
19:52You had a case of apricot
19:53Asshole
19:53You're not talking to
19:56Thousands of people
19:56In a stadium
19:57You're on the telly
19:58You're only talking to
19:59Two or three people
20:00At home on the couch
20:00You don't need to shout
20:01Look there's
20:02There's a reason
20:03I don't start this show
20:04By going
20:04G'day I'm Adam Hills
20:06Welcome to the last leg
20:08Although that felt good
20:10I genuinely
20:12That's how we started
20:13It last week
20:13Oh I noticed
20:16To give you an idea
20:19Of how hard it is
20:20To interpret
20:21For Donald Trump
20:21We're going to show you
20:22That clip again
20:23And we're going to have it
20:24Interpreted for you
20:25We're also going to show you
20:26What the interpreter
20:27Is actually saying
20:28To see whether or not
20:29It interferes
20:30With Trump's image
20:30In the end government
20:33Either serves
20:35The productive
20:35Patriotic
20:36Hardworking
20:37American citizen
20:38Or it serves
20:39Those who break the laws
20:40Cheat the system
20:42And seek power
20:43And profit
20:44At the expense
20:44Of our nation
20:46Look at Minnesota
20:48Where Somalians
20:49Have taken over
20:50The economics
20:50Of the state
20:51And have stolen
20:52Billions and billions
20:54Of dollars
20:54From Minnesota
20:55And indeed
20:56From the United States
20:58Of America
20:58And we're going to
20:59Put an end to it
21:00For so long
21:01As before my election
21:03The vast majority
21:04Of good and decent
21:05Americans
21:06Were forced to
21:07And can we please
21:16Thank Gavin Lilly
21:17Thank you Gavin
21:18Round of applause to Gavin
21:19All right
21:23Let's welcome
21:24Tonight's guests
21:24A comedian
21:25Who co-hosts
21:26Last One Laughing
21:26And another comedian
21:27Who was the last one
21:28Standing on the TV
21:29Show The Wheel
21:29Please welcome
21:30Roisin Conaty
21:30And Fatia El Ghorey
21:32Hello
21:41Hello
21:41Hello
21:41Hello
21:43Hi
21:44Welcome to you both
21:49Either of you ever used
21:51A sign interpreter
21:51I've never used one
21:54But I've been at a show
21:55Where there's one
21:55So I just kept on going
21:56And they had to go
21:58I just kept on saying it
22:02I didn't even do punchlines
22:03I just went
22:04Anyway my name is
22:05And what do you both
22:09Make of Trump
22:09Suing the BBC
22:10Fatia
22:11I think
22:12I think
22:12Well they fucked up
22:14In it
22:15Yeah
22:15But he's a wanker
22:16In it
22:17But I've got an idea
22:18I know how to make
22:19Their money back
22:20Yeah
22:20If they just
22:21Commission
22:22My sitcom
22:23Money in it
22:28Okay
22:28Love it
22:29Roisin
22:30I think
22:33Trump respects hard men
22:35That's the only way
22:36So I think
22:36They shouldn't try
22:37I think
22:37They should tell him
22:38To fuck off
22:38Oh yeah
22:40I think
22:41They should go
22:41Absolutely ape on him
22:43And just tell him
22:44To fuck off
22:44And then
22:44And then he'll be like
22:46I love the BBC
22:47Yeah
22:47That's who he likes
22:48See that's who he wants
22:49To be friends with
22:49So I think
22:50They should tell him
22:50To do one
22:51Which BBC star
22:52Should we get to do it
22:53Um
22:55Ross Kemp
22:56No
22:56Is he on BBC anymore
22:57Oh I don't know
22:58Have you not
22:59Have you not watched
23:01Bridge of Lies
23:02Um
23:03One of the Strictly Lotta
23:06I reckon
23:06Oh nice
23:07Yeah
23:08Yeah
23:08Wake you back
23:08Craig Revel Horwood
23:10Oh Craig Revel Horwood
23:12Now
23:13Earlier this week
23:15I was asked to read a poem
23:16At a Carol's concert
23:17For motor neurone disease
23:18It was a lovely night
23:20It was a really lovely night
23:20And they sent me
23:21A really nice poem
23:22A kind of funny poem
23:23About the difference
23:24Between Christmas in England
23:25And Christmas in Australia
23:26For me to read
23:27At the concert
23:28But
23:29And it was all about
23:30You know
23:30Christmas on the beach
23:31And that kind of stuff
23:32But in light of
23:32What happened at Bondi Beach
23:33Last weekend
23:34It felt a little weird
23:35To do that
23:36So I ended up
23:37Rewriting the poem
23:38As a tribute
23:38To what happened
23:39In Sydney
23:39Which is where I grew up
23:40It's my hometown
23:41And if it's okay with you
23:43I thought I'd read
23:43That poem tonight
23:44So
23:45This is my little
23:46Little
23:47Christmassy
23:48Tributy poem
23:50Christmas in Britain
23:53Britain is charming
23:53Is charming and cold
23:54With jumpers and jingles
23:55And carols of old
23:56But I'm Aussie by nature
23:58So let's just be clear
23:59Barbecues count
24:01So does icy cold beer
24:02I've done Christmas down under
24:04With sun cream and sand
24:05And Christmas in Britain
24:06With frostbite on hand
24:07One has cicadas
24:08The other has sleet
24:10But both have bad telly
24:11And too much to eat
24:12Sydney is sunny
24:14London is wetter
24:15And the less said
24:16About the ashes
24:17The better
24:17But Brits and the Aussies
24:19Will always be mates
24:20As we both thank the Lord
24:22We don't live in the States
24:23But evil rears up
24:26Every now and again
24:27As some don't believe
24:28In goodwill to all men
24:29And use a nice holiday fest
24:31By the beach
24:31To make a world full of joy
24:33Seem way out of reach
24:34But look for the helpers
24:36A wise man once said
24:37The people who think
24:38With their hearts
24:39And their head
24:39The people who do
24:41What they know to be right
24:42Look for the love
24:43Look for the light
24:44Because all around the world
24:46People showed their support
24:47From New York to Paris
24:48Right down to Earls Court
24:49Whatever religion
24:51We all made a fuss
24:52Saying there were
24:53Just two of them
24:54There were millions of us
24:56Whether Muslim or Christian
24:58Hindu or Jew
24:59Deep down we all know
25:00What's the right thing to do
25:00So no matter what happens
25:02This time of the year
25:03Bring your loved ones around
25:04And gather them near
25:05If you're a Brit
25:07Or an Aussie
25:07Or half in between
25:08May your paddock be golden
25:10Your tree evergreen
25:11May your Christmassy lunch
25:13Have no family clashes
25:14But I'll say it again
25:15Don't mention the ashes
25:17Whether Hanukkah
25:19Kwanzaa
25:20Christmas or none
25:21Happy holidays all
25:22And I hope you have fun
25:23And remember the words
25:25Of good old Saint Nick
25:26Merry Christmas to all
25:28And don't be a dick
25:30We'll have all last week
25:38For you after the break
25:39We'll take a wobbly step
25:40Into Christmas
25:40We'll see you in a little bit
25:44I'm going to apologize
25:56Welcome back to Lost Leg
25:57With John Barthadier Al Gorey
25:58And Roshan Conaty
25:59Wallam said the person
26:00From the BBC
26:01To tell Donald Trump
26:01To fuck off
26:02Should be
26:02David Attenborough
26:03I love that we've accidentally
26:08Created a great text in
26:09Text in with
26:11Who should tell Donald Trump
26:12To fuck off
26:13Yeah
26:13Yeah
26:13Hit us up on Whatsapp
26:15Tell us who you think
26:16Should tell
26:16Why are you limiting
26:17I can't say limiting
26:19Why are you limiting it
26:20To one
26:21BBC's got a huge
26:22Employee base
26:23Yeah
26:24Hold us
26:24Oh my god
26:25They can do it
26:26I think the whole country
26:27Should get involved
26:28Well all at once
26:31At midnight
26:31On New Year's Eve
26:33Everyone tells Donald Trump
26:35To fuck off
26:36Two
26:38One
26:38Fuck off
26:40All right
26:41Look it's only six more sleeps
26:42Until Christmas
26:43Five more sleeps
26:43Until our Christmas Eve
26:44Special
26:45And three more sleeps
26:46Until Thierry Henry
26:46Unfollows Alex on Instagram
26:48Why is he going to unfollow him
26:52Oh
26:53He'll watch something
26:54That Brooker posts
26:55And go
26:55No I can't be associated
26:57With that
26:58I made a joke about
27:04And we did do very well
27:06Last week
27:06I made a joke
27:06That we didn't do very well
27:08I told you to be proud
27:09Of yourself
27:09Let's get into
27:12The festive spirit
27:13Let's start with
27:14Christmas traditions
27:15Do you guys have any
27:15Christmas traditions
27:16We
27:17So I don't celebrate
27:18Obviously
27:19Obviously
27:20But we do
27:22Obviously like
27:22Everyone's off
27:23So we all get at my mum's
27:25And then we have like
27:26We make a dinner
27:27And then like
27:28Yeah
27:29Have fun
27:29Yeah
27:30We don't do presents
27:31Or trees on none of that luck
27:32But we do do the food
27:34Interesting
27:34Okay
27:35Spending time with family
27:36Yeah
27:37The worst bit
27:38There are people behind me
27:44Applauding what you just said
27:46Just so you know
27:47You may be on camera
27:48Roisin
27:50Oh I've got traditions
27:52Adam
27:53I've got blooming traditions
27:54All right
27:55My traditions are
27:57I come from a very big family
27:58And I've got lots of friends
28:00I'm very popular
28:01And lots of them show up
28:03Unannounced
28:04And by unannounced
28:05I mean I forget
28:06They're showing up
28:07Yep
28:07And so a lot
28:08My Christmas tradition
28:09Is people showing up
28:10Me pretending
28:11I need the loo
28:11I need to make something
28:12And then I'm going
28:13Rummaging and wrapping
28:14In another room
28:16And re-gifting
28:17Something I've already got
28:18But trying to find something
28:20Really quick
28:20In a short space of time
28:21Right
28:22And I once
28:23Someone brought me
28:24Like a
28:25You know
28:25A rubbish
28:26Ten pound
28:26Sort of body cream
28:27And the only thing I had
28:29Was a record player
28:30Because I'd given away
28:31Everything in previous gifts
28:32Rummage and wrapping
28:34And so I gave them a record player
28:35That I then had to re-buy
28:37For myself
28:37Because a friend
28:37Who bought me the wrapping player
28:38Was coming round
28:39Record player
28:40In a few days
28:40Happy Christmas
28:42In big Christmas news
28:44Something that made
28:45Alex very happy
28:46I watched Home Alone
28:48For the first time
28:49Last week
28:50I've shocked you all
28:52Ironically
28:53I was home alone
28:54Which means
28:56I now understand
28:56This
28:57That happened on the show
28:58And this
28:59Still don't entirely
29:03Understand this
29:04I think it's
29:07I genuinely
29:08I couldn't believe
29:09That you hadn't seen it
29:09But I think it's lovely
29:10That you've watched it now
29:12So like when I watched it
29:14For the first time
29:14I was the same age
29:16As Kevin McAllister
29:17And now you've watched it
29:18For the first time
29:19And you're the same age
29:20As the old geezer
29:20With the shovel
29:21I think part of the reason
29:25I didn't see it
29:26When it was released
29:26I was 20 at the time
29:27And I was in that age
29:28Where it's weird
29:29For a 20 year old
29:30To go and watch
29:31A kid's movie on his own
29:32But you had a bit
29:35Of an issue
29:36Yeah I mean
29:36When I saw
29:38Elf for the first time
29:39I was like 19
29:40And I went like three times
29:41And I'm not weird
29:42But yeah
29:44There was a big
29:45So this week
29:45So this is one of the few things
29:47That I've ever been able to talk about
29:48On the show
29:49That's been sent to me
29:50On one of my WhatsApp groups
29:51With my mates
29:52So my mate
29:52Humsey sent me this thing
29:54Basically it was a TV choice
29:55So this was their reviews
29:57Of the Christmas films
29:58Babe
29:59Can I just ask a great question
30:01Your mate reads TV choice?
30:02He just sent it
30:03Is it an 80 year old grand?
30:06So he sent it
30:07Babe
30:07Five stars
30:08Right?
30:09Home Alone
30:10Four stars
30:12Now unless that reviewer
30:14Is David Cameron
30:15That is bullshit
30:16I think Babe
30:19I think Babe
30:20Is a five star film
30:21And I think it's better
30:22Than Home Alone
30:23I don't think that
30:26I just wanted to see
30:27What we're going to do
30:28I'm going to say
30:30Five star Babe
30:30Sounds like a film
30:31I did watch
30:32Oh there we go
30:37Oh in other Christmas news
30:44A poll was revealed this week
30:45That nearly a third
30:46Of the British public
30:48Think Santa would vote
30:49For Zach Polanski
30:50And the Green Party
30:51Which is surprising
30:52Considering how much
30:53Coal Santa goes through
30:54What do you think on that?
30:56Also
30:56Yeah he's going down chimneys
30:57It's one of the main means
30:59We've got chimneys
30:59I don't think we should
31:00I don't think
31:00I think this is madness
31:02Yeah
31:03He's based in the North Pole
31:04Yeah
31:05If he's not going to pay taxes
31:06In this country
31:07He doesn't have a fucking side
31:08What do you think?
31:09Would Santa have a fucking tree?
31:11I think so
31:12Because he's got a zero carbon footprint
31:14However
31:15The RSPCA are not going to like him
31:18Because he works those animals to the bone
31:20Yeah
31:2024 hours
31:22He goes around the whole world
31:23Are you mad bruv?
31:25You know what I'm saying?
31:26No
31:26Uh, Roisin?
31:27Um, I don't
31:29I think people project
31:30When we like people
31:31We project onto them
31:33The values we have
31:33Yeah
31:34But what we've all learned
31:35About, you know
31:36Old celebrities
31:37Is
31:39And he's
31:39You know
31:40He's an old guy
31:40He's been around for hundreds of years
31:42You don't want to
31:43I reckon if you had a Wikipedia page
31:45It's not going to be great
31:46So you just don't
31:48I don't think you can project
31:49Very progressive views
31:51On that
31:51That old creeping in the house
31:53At nights
31:54In the kids room
31:55Guy
31:55I think
31:56That's very optimistic gear
31:59You've got going on there
32:00I think it makes sense
32:01That Santa would vote green
32:02Because if anyone's worried
32:02About the ice caps melting
32:03It's him
32:04And also
32:05Much like Zach Polanski
32:06A lot of grown ups
32:07Don't believe in him
32:07Christmas also means
32:10It's time for the darts
32:11At Ali Pali
32:12Both of which have
32:13Red faced men with big bellies
32:14But this year
32:15There's been an unwanted guest
32:16Oh mate
32:17It's just been
32:18It's been a week of
32:20High drama already
32:20At the darts
32:21But the
32:22The Ali Pali wasp
32:24I don't know if you've heard about this
32:25It's basically a wasp
32:27That's been knocking about
32:28In Alexandria Palace
32:30During the darts this week
32:31For four days
32:31Five days
32:32Breathing in
32:33All the beer fumes
32:34Absolutely
32:35Off its nut
32:36Just upsetting everyone
32:37It's genuinely
32:38One of the darts players
32:39Actually brought
32:40Wasp killer
32:41Just in case
32:42It was like
32:42Pissing off all the darts players
32:44Yes
32:44Yeah yeah yeah
32:45And now look
32:46We wanted
32:46We couldn't afford
32:47The footage of the wasp
32:48From Sky Sports
32:49Because it's sports footage
32:50And that costs loads
32:51Alright
32:51We wanted to show you
32:52So we've mocked up
32:53Our own version
32:54Of the wasp
32:55In action
32:56Here it is
32:57In happier times
32:58Wasp
33:05Wasp
33:05Wasp
33:06Yes
33:07What was that
33:09What the
33:09Keep it down mate
33:10Chill out
33:11Woah
33:12Thanks
33:13I can't get it
33:14I can't get it
33:15I can't get it
33:17I can't get it
33:17I can't get it
33:18What are you
33:18What
33:19Jesus cross
33:20I'm going to sting
33:20Someone in a minute
33:21That was not on
33:22Yes
33:23Yes
33:23You know what
33:28That looks so much better
33:31I thought it was going to look
33:32Wow
33:33for you after the break as we hand out
33:35our Alternative Sports Personality
33:38of the Year awards. We'll also unveil
33:39another mystery guest. We'll see you in a little bit.
33:55Welcome back to Last Lake.
33:56We're joined by Fatia El Ghorey and
33:58Roshin Conaty. Last night the BBC
34:00crowned Rory McIlroy as their Sports
34:02Personality of the Year.
34:03of 2025. Congratulations.
34:06Although personally I thought Rory
34:07McIlroy deserved it for this candid moment at the
34:09Ryder Cup this year.
34:11That funk is looking tasty.
34:13Don't shut the fuck up.
34:16Whoa!
34:22And look it's all well and good
34:23to celebrate sporting excellence but what about the forgotten
34:25heroes? Like the guy who took this incredibly
34:27timed photo of Italian tennis player
34:29Jasmine Paolini at the US Open this year
34:31that was judged.
34:33Tennis photo of the year.
34:36So we thought...
34:37The guy from Kneecap.
34:41We thought we'd highlight some more heroes
34:43now with this.
34:44So I'm going to start by nominating two
34:56Australian twins who lip-sync on
34:58social media to iconic pieces
35:00of sporting commentary.
35:01This was their hilarious take on the moment Scotland
35:04qualified for the World Cup this year.
35:05Here's McClane.
35:08He's going to shoot.
35:10No!
35:10He's not going to shoot.
35:11No!
35:13That's unbelievable!
35:19I have never seen anything
35:21quite as incredible
35:23for massive
35:24as Kenny McClane
35:25I'm gonna say it right now. We have too much time on our hands in Australia.
35:44Oh, let let me highlight a sport. We don't talk about enough. Yep in July
35:5133 teams from countries including the UK Japan Australia and France competed in the litter-picking World Cup
35:59Well, there's so we could be good at team smile story from Japan one you could say they cleaned up
36:05so here we go look at this this is sport now and then there's the British team there's the Japanese team
36:27look if we can't clear the darts be this is what Channel 4 need to be showing now
36:35I'd like to nominate the British team. Okay, Fedya who would you nominate?
36:38So I would nominate Mo Salah not for the reason you think right basically every Christmas
36:43he has like a massive Christmas tree and him and his family wear Christmas pyjamas and they take a picture of gifts and all that
36:50And he just gets shot to shit by like the Muslim community being like what are you doing?
36:56You're a Muslim. It's Christmas and he's like yeah, whatever brav shut up and I love it
37:00I just think he's a legend. Okay, the legend for doing that rush. Well, I've got one
37:05I don't know if it'll be allowed, but then I saw the litter picking I thought it's going in I
37:11Think Oasis
37:13Because I feel like them getting back together felt like a bit like
37:16And to the tour was a little bit like watching Rocky get off the map like
37:21You know like it felt like and then it got to the end they won
37:25It was a sporting achievement. Yeah, lovely and it was it was it was that feeling of like when England are in the World Cup or something
37:33Yeah, what's that feeling when you went to Oasis? Although it ended happily
37:38Yeah, but it's just bittersweet for me because
37:41Mine was gonna be the Ali Pali wasp
37:44Yeah, and we found out today that
37:47He's dead may have been killed yesterday by one of the darts players
37:52It's I just
37:55If it's possible can I just have a little moment of reflection for the Ali Pali wasp has done this week. Thank you very much
38:14I
38:16I
38:18I
38:20I
38:22It's time to bring on this week's mystery guest Roisin and Fatia have to work out how they're related to the news
38:26Can we have this week's mystery guest, please?
38:28This is Angie she's been in the news this week for festive reason Adam, but what was the reason can we have the dramatic lighting change, please?
38:47So
38:50Has Angie been in in the news because I she has a reindeer that thinks it's a dog
38:57B and you bought a pig in blanket that looks exactly like Lana Del Rey
39:02Or see Angie bought a turkey from the butcher that was delivered alive. Oh
39:09God, I know. What are your thoughts?
39:11Angie
39:13I
39:15Think the answer to that question is intrusive
39:21I
39:23Tell you what have a think about it mullet over sing Angie to yourself for a little while
39:37We'll reveal a mystery guest after the break and we'll end the show with a very special Christmas performance
39:41And we'll see you in a bit
39:51Welcome back to last leg we're joined by Fatia El Ghori and Roisin Conaty now before the break we challenged our guests to work out how this person is connected to the news
40:05Can we have the options again, please?
40:09So
40:10Does Angie have a reindeer that thinks it's a dog?
40:13Did Angie buy a pig in blanket that looks exactly like Lana Del Rey?
40:18Or did Angie buy a turkey from the butcher that was delivered alive?
40:23What do you guys think?
40:25I
40:26Think
40:27I think I know this so I'm gonna let Roisin sweat it
40:36All I've got is that song okay, I think
40:38I
40:40Think
40:42You got a sausage that looked like Lana Del Rey
40:46Does that line up with what you were thinking Fatia?
40:48No
40:49Oh no
40:50What were you thinking?
40:51I'm excited though because if it is I'm
40:53When we say bring out the pig in blanket that looks like Lana Del Rey that's when we get the BAFTA
40:59What do you think?
41:00I think it's the deer because I remember seeing a clip because I watch TV a lot because that's who I am
41:05And I'm sure I think it's the deer
41:08All right, do you want to?
41:09She looks like she don't take shit man
41:12Do you want to go deer and Roche do you want to go sausage?
41:15I always want to go sausage
41:19All right, Angie
41:23Why is Christmas?
41:25Can we get that made into a gift as well, please?
41:28Angie, so you've got one H. Angie, can you please tell us how you're connected to the news?
41:31I've got a beautiful baby reindeer called Lars who's grown up his dog
41:39Hey!
41:44I suppose the question is why does your reindeer think it's a dog?
41:51When he was only two or three days old he needed help being fed so he came into the house
41:57And he's basically lived with the dogs and myself since
42:03Oh!
42:04And you can see pictures of him
42:06So when people come to your house they...
42:07Which one's a reindeer?
42:09When people come to your house they sing
42:10Angie, Angie, is it a dog, is it a deer
42:17Is it going to get the antlers soon?
42:19It's got little antlers this size and then they'll fall off in the next few months and then they'll go a new set
42:26Oh, a bit like me, but not quite
42:29Angie, thank you so much, have a happy Christmas
42:31Happy Christmas
42:32All the best to your dear
42:33All right, may this be good
42:37What's this?
42:39What kind of post, what kind of guests, why aren't we getting antlers?
42:43I don't know why they were given to us, you're more than welcome
42:45I'll tell you why it's inclusion, they felt jealous because of me
42:49They were like, I'll let us have some headgear, innit?
42:51Yeah, I'm just out here better than yours, you look shit
42:54I'm just out here, bareback in my head
42:57Hold on
42:58All right, Josh has been defaming the last seven days, what have you got?
43:00First up, we got a message from Simon Adam
43:03And he said, er, Stratford to White City is 35 minutes on the Central Line
43:08And somebody would have given up their seat for you
43:13And the other is a behind their scenes
43:16Yeah
43:17There was a bit that was meant to be in the show where me and Brooke had dressed up as a pantomime horse and did dressage
43:21In tonight's show?
43:22Yeah
43:23Yeah, we did it in rehearsal
43:24It wasn't good enough in rehearsal
43:26Yeah
43:27And it was deemed so bad it couldn't go on TV
43:29Bearing in mind what makes it in
43:32But they did film it and now they're telling us we should show the audience what our rehearsal was
43:36Okay
43:37Would you like to see us trying to do pantomime horse dressage?
43:40Yes
43:41Is it as good as the wasp?
43:43Well, there you'd be the judge
43:45That was like AI
43:47We're in the zone now
43:48Yeah, we're not talking to you, we're in the zone
43:55I like it
43:58What?
44:00What is going on?
44:01What is going on?
44:07Can we go round there?
44:08Yeah
44:10Oh my good lord
44:13Looks like a Pixar version of Human Centipede
44:15All right, we are about to end the show with a very special performance from the Music Man Project
44:26Which is a choir made up of people with learning disabilities who've performed at the London Palladium, the Royal Albert Hall and for His Majesty the King
44:33They also gave a spectacular concert in Rome last week
44:36David, who is the leader of the choir, what's next for the Music Man Project?
44:40Well, Adam, I've got a world exclusive for everyone here
44:43Yeah
44:44Because on October the 7th, next year, the Music Man Project will play Broadway in New York
44:50We are so happy to have you close the show for us tonight, but before we do, would you please thank our guests Fatia Al Gorey
45:04And Roisin Conaty
45:07And my co-host Josh Whittacombe
45:09And Alex Brooker
45:13We'll be back on Christmas Eve with comedian Harry Hill and presenter Alison Hammond
45:16And we'll have a Christmas sing-along with Rick Astley
45:19But right now, this is the Music Man Project performing Jingle Bells
45:23Thank you for watching The Last League, my name's Adam Hill, see you next week for The Last League of Christmas
45:33One more selfless way
45:36Oh, the feel's begun
45:38I've been all the way
45:40Ha ha ha ha ha ha
45:42Dance a ball to read
45:43Make you spare it's bright
45:45First part it is to ride and sing
45:48And say it's all tonight
45:49Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
45:52Jingle all the way
45:54Oh, I find you, right
45:56One more selfless way
45:57Jingle bells, jingle bells
46:00Jingle all the way
46:01Oh, what part it is to ride a one-horse open snake?
46:05Dushing through the snow on a one-horse open snake
46:09All the pills they go, laughing all the way
46:13There's a lot that read, make this spirit bright
46:18What part it is to ride a sinner snake?
46:21Oh, jingle bella, jingle bella, jingle bella
46:26Oh, what part it is to ride a one-horse open snake?
46:30Oh, jingle bella, jingle bella, jingle bella
46:34Oh, what part it is to ride a one-horse open snake?
46:38Oh, jingle bella, jingle bella, jingle bella, jingle bella
46:41Oh, what part it is to ride a one-horse open snake?
46:43Oh, jingle bella, jingle bella, jingle bella, jingle bella
46:46Oh, what part it is to ride a one-horse open snake?
46:53Oh, jingle bella, jingle bella, jingle bella
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