- 4 months ago
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00:00Hello.
00:05These days I spend more and more time in my Wiltshire home.
00:11And the pub I own.
00:14Thinking about all the big problems in the world.
00:17And some smaller ones that annoy me.
00:21Luckily there's a place I can go to solve them all.
00:25Or at least try.
00:27My shed.
00:29Right.
00:31It's here that I have the tools.
00:33Let's just saw some wood up.
00:35The tea.
00:37And a couple of other highly competent blokes.
00:41Very good. Brace yourselves.
00:43Who've agreed to help me rid the world of problems.
00:46Is she getting the ticket out?
00:47Great.
00:48Dirty flight at us.
00:49And small.
00:51The cereal has gone soggy.
00:53I'll also have to take on other people's problems.
00:56What is wrong with Peter?
00:57He used to make a sound.
00:59And now he doesn't.
01:00By which I mean the locals at my pub who are always bringing me stuff to mend.
01:05Is it a train set?
01:07So join us and our excitable crew.
01:13Who will capture our endeavours.
01:15That was epic.
01:17As we create.
01:19Make.
01:20That feels like a terrible thing you've just done.
01:22Repair.
01:23So it's never worked.
01:24Not in my lifetime.
01:25And repurpose.
01:27In my shed load of ideas.
01:33What do you think?
01:34This is just brilliant.
01:36Here in Wiltshire.
01:48My mates and I spend a lot of time in my big shed solving problems.
01:53Simi lends us his engineering expertise.
01:57Yes.
01:58While Tony chips in with his top notch carpentry skills.
02:02Huzzah!
02:03And today we're taking our combined wisdom out of the workshop and into a particularly pretty
02:10cinema in nearby Salisbury.
02:12Can I have a popcorn please?
02:15There we go.
02:16Oh fantastic.
02:18You're welcome.
02:19With cinema attendance in the UK in decline.
02:22We think we might just be able to eliminate one of the problems that could be putting people
02:27off.
02:28I will now demonstrate with these two and the crew.
02:33So here you are at the cinema with your mates.
02:36You're about to watch one of your favourite films of all time.
02:39And then this happens.
02:41I mean that is exactly in the way of the screen.
02:51And if that's bad for me and I'm reasonably tall.
02:54Imagine what it's like for these people entering the cinema now.
02:58If they sit behind us.
03:03We've known about this for as long as we've had cinemas.
03:05In fact as long as we've had theatres which goes back to Nell Gwyn and people like that.
03:10And the fact is cinemas have a raked floor.
03:14Obviously this has a very typical one.
03:16It's about four degrees.
03:18But it's nothing like good enough.
03:20Because if we take Ethan.
03:21If you wouldn't mind standing up.
03:23Here's the tallest member of this crew.
03:27And then we put him next to our smallest member.
03:30Who is Lottie.
03:32Here.
03:33Look at the difference in height.
03:35It is interesting that all people.
03:37It doesn't matter whether they are massive units.
03:41Massively overfed like Ethan.
03:43Or Lottie undernourished and quite small.
03:46The distance between the centre of the eyes and the top of the head.
03:50Is always pretty much the same.
03:51If you wouldn't mind turning around.
03:52Ethan.
03:53You will see even on his enormous bonts.
03:57That distance is roughly the same.
03:59So cinema seats ought to be arranged.
04:01So that that distance is the distance of the next row's eyes.
04:06Above the head of the person in front.
04:08So why not simply say.
04:09Small people have to sit at the front of the cinema.
04:12And big people have to sit at the back.
04:14That would make sense.
04:16Except.
04:17As Lottie points out.
04:18She's got a massive boyfriend.
04:20Because she didn't have the decency to go out with someone her own size.
04:23So we'd have to split them up.
04:24We'd have to have Lottie at the front.
04:25And a boyfriend right on the back row.
04:27And they can't have a snog like that.
04:29Let's be honest.
04:30So I think there might be a more sophisticated solution to this.
04:33And I think.
04:35We can probably come up with it.
04:37And in just the time it takes to watch Battle of Britain.
04:40The directors cut and get back to the shed.
04:43We have indeed come up with an idea for adjustable seats.
04:47Designed to equalise the cinema viewing experience.
04:54Now obviously the cinema seats have to go up and down.
04:58We have some old cinema seats.
05:00And we have these screw jacks.
05:02Of a type that you use to raise your car up before changing a wheel.
05:06What do we think?
05:07So I think all we need to do is.
05:10We'll make up a little steel frame which we can weld to this.
05:13This is our seat.
05:15Which will be on our frame like so.
05:17A couple of back supports coming up to here.
05:19How are we supporting them?
05:21So we've got a little steel frame that will go under here welded to the jack.
05:26So it's solid.
05:27Come up to here and we'll pick up into the wood.
05:30At the right angle and the right height.
05:32That seems like a very low seat.
05:39That is.
05:40But we could put riser blocks underneath.
05:43Well this is the original.
05:45So that should be our kind of set height.
05:49So they'll have to be on riser blocks.
05:51Therefore we have to calculate how big a riser block we put underneath it.
05:55105mm.
05:56So if we know now that that is our height of our plinth.
06:05So riser blocks are 150.
06:08That's not complicated.
06:10This is probably how the Saturn V was developed.
06:12Somebody wrote 150 on a bench and drew a box around it and then they knew.
06:16Right we've got it.
06:17So we need to make the plinths and we need to make the steel work at the same time ideally.
06:24We now know the height our riser block needs to be for the jack to sit on to bring the seat to its correct starting height.
06:31First Simi gets to work on the steel frame for the seat.
06:35While Tony and I build a box plinth which will act as the riser block.
06:40That's near enough for government work.
06:42This involves a lot of measuring, sawing and screwing.
06:51While Simi sets about welding the steel frame which joins our old cinema seat to the jack.
06:56Nobody touch that, it's quite warm.
06:58Tony and I do some more measuring, sawing and screwing to make the box plinth the jack will sit on.
07:06Now all we need to do is put it all together and we are ready to test our prototype seat.
07:11It's quite heavy that.
07:15I hate that noise.
07:17Right, rest.
07:18Act rest.
07:24To begin with should we put somebody small?
07:26We could put somebody small.
07:27Or light.
07:28Light.
07:29So that's not you, not you.
07:31Alright, alright.
07:32Who would like to be the first person to sit in the elevating cinema seat?
07:36When you say like, I mean I will do it.
07:40But you're the lightest.
07:42Okay.
07:43Alright.
07:44What do I hold on to?
07:46You're not going to be launched, it's just going to go up a bit.
07:49Don't be alarmed.
07:50What did you do at work today darling?
08:00Well, I wound Lucy up and down.
08:04I think that's too wobbly.
08:08Yeah, I mean, it's not comfortable.
08:11This isn't really very good is it?
08:14Well we might have to have a little rethink.
08:17So the screw jacks are a lot wobblier than we realise when it doesn't have a car steadying it.
08:23But what if they were the hydraulic jacks instead?
08:26Slower to pump up, but they'd be much more stable.
08:31Yes.
08:33Do you mind stepping off a minute?
08:35No.
08:36The other way is to make a mechanism that stays rigid and has the jack just as the lift.
08:45Ah, that's, yes.
08:47It's just a lot of work.
08:48It is a lot of work.
08:50While Simi starts work designing the new hydraulic jack powered box structures, Tony and I head to the pub.
08:58And as usual, and because of my reputation for mending things, we've only been there about five minutes when a local, in this case Peter, turns up with some weird brass thing.
09:09Hello.
09:10Hello.
09:11You are Peter.
09:12Hello.
09:13Nice to meet you.
09:14How are you?
09:15This is Tony.
09:16Nice to meet you.
09:17Have you brought a cannon?
09:18It's not a cannon.
09:19It's actually...
09:20Oh, it's a telescope.
09:21It's a telescope.
09:22Oh, that's some beauty, isn't it?
09:23Where did that come from?
09:24My wife bought it on eBay a few months ago, but it does come with a nice backstory.
09:29It was brought back from India on an around the world QE2 cruise, I believe in the late 70s, early 80s.
09:36Does that mean stolen?
09:37Acquired.
09:38Acquired?
09:39Yes.
09:40I like it.
09:41Quite heavy, isn't it?
09:42I suppose that's why it comes with a tripod.
09:45Um, it doesn't seem to quite work.
09:48It...
09:49No.
09:50Has it ever worked?
09:51I don't know.
09:52It's basically like looking at the world without your specs on.
09:55Do you know, that could be a micro-focus, a micro-adjustment.
09:58So the eyepiece does move out.
10:01Next, move your fingers further out, that bit.
10:03Ah.
10:04Does that move that slightly?
10:06It doesn't appear to.
10:08But should it?
10:10So usually there's a gear mechanism in there, like a rack of pinion.
10:13So my thoughts are that inside the end there, there may be some sort of thread that connects to it or do it once upon a time.
10:21To try out Tony's theory, we mount Peter's telescope on its tripod and see if we can focus on something.
10:28Everything is still blurry.
10:30That doesn't do anything.
10:34Oh, wait.
10:36Close things are almost in focus.
10:40So all the optics seem to line up.
10:42Yes, I'm looking at that power cable, that's nice and crisp.
10:46The trees far away are blurry, so...
10:49I think you're right, Tony, that rotating that should gear that very precisely.
10:55OK.
10:56Tools.
10:59A lot of old telescopes used to unscrew, didn't they?
11:02Oh.
11:03Have you done this before?
11:04Right, now you're onto something.
11:06There you go.
11:07So basically this has to move, but quite precisely in order for what you're looking at at a particular distance to be in focus.
11:15But Peter has a concern which may scupper the whole project.
11:20It could well be what's known as a furniture piece.
11:25A whatty?
11:26A furniture piece.
11:27Ah, a shoalscope.
11:29This quite possibly was never intended to work as a telescope, it was just meant to look cool in your beachfront house.
11:36There is a possibility.
11:37Be careful, there's not a pin in here.
11:39Yeah, exactly.
11:40Shall I take it off over this slotted table over the garden?
11:42Take it off over my hands.
11:44So you can see inside there the thread.
11:47So when you rotate that, a pin that would locate in the thread would be pulled one way or pushed the other way.
11:55And Tony has just found that whatever that pin was appears to have sheared off.
12:00Peter, this might be good news.
12:02I'm pleased to hear it.
12:03I think this does suggest that it's a bit more than just ornamental because someone's gone to the trouble of machining quite a sophisticated thread in there,
12:11which would suggest to me that this is, in fact, meant to work.
12:16So how the hell does it come out?
12:18Does the eyepiece come off?
12:20Yeah, that bit unscrews. That was loose earlier.
12:22And then we pull it through the other way.
12:25No.
12:26It's here.
12:27Oh.
12:28Where?
12:29There.
12:30Got it.
12:31There you go. That's the culprit.
12:32That's what's broken.
12:34So in order to mend it, we will have to remake this piece with two countersunk holes to allow it to be screwed to the movable part of the eyepiece,
12:45and then with a pin, the exact dimensions of which we will have to work out using a micrometer that inserts in this hole and engages on the inside of that.
12:53Put it all back together, mounted on the tripod, pointed out to the sea and say, I see no ships.
12:59Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a lathe job.
13:06So can Tony and I and the lathe fix Peter's telescope?
13:10Well, I for one can't wait to find out.
13:13Welcome back to Wiltshire, where we've been entrusted with the task of repairing Peter's busted telescope.
13:28The problem we have identified is that this ring, which is now broken, as you can see, sits around the middle of this tube and has on it, or did have on it, a pin which acts in an inverted worm gear, which is now broken, as you can see.
13:49You turn with that, and that makes the eyepiece move in and out and focuses it.
14:04So we've got to remake this, which is a job for the lathe.
14:08Tony here has never used the metalworking lathe, or the engine lathe, as it's sometimes called.
14:14I have found this old flywheel that I accidentally made to completely the wrong dimensions many years ago.
14:21And we can, I believe, fashion out of that the new ring, the ratio dictated by the gear.
14:28Before Tony can have a go, he has to have a lathe tutorial.
14:31That's engaged. That is the saddle, which moves that way.
14:34That is the cross slide, which moves that way.
14:37And this is called the compound slide. The way it's set up at the moment, it moves backwards and forwards, a fine feed version of that.
14:42But you can also set it at angles to do clever things like screw cutting.
14:46Hope you got all that, Tony.
14:48There are no safety features. There isn't even an emergency stop on this. You have to hit that with your knee.
14:53There's no chuck guard.
14:55I missed, then, and hurt my knee, but that's what you do, OK?
14:59Ow!
15:01Are we in here again, James?
15:03Not really, no.
15:05I'm not sure who's more nervous about this, Tony or me.
15:10Start, ladies.
15:13I now turn it to 10,000. That's near enough.
15:17We will now bear witness to the genesis of the new inner ring for Peter's telescope.
15:22A tiny bit more.
15:24And Tony's love affair with the lathe.
15:30Oh!
15:32So, that's indoctrination over and a new brass ring well on the way.
15:36Sarah, my other half, says James has gone into his workshop to make a piece of metal into a smaller piece of metal, because that's actually all you can do.
15:43But now it's an exquisite piece of metal.
15:46Exactly.
15:47Do you think you'll get one?
15:48Yeah, definitely.
15:49It's addictive already.
15:50It is.
15:51You either really get it or you think it's the dullest thing in the world, which, to be honest, most of my mates do.
15:57But I don't care.
15:58With Tony now a card-carrying member of Lathe Club, I leave him to finish the ring and the pin for the telescope under the watchful eye of Simi.
16:09We're going to put these holes in and they have to line up because these holes are pre-drilled and threaded.
16:15We want to be able to put the screws, these little tiny screws, back into those holes once we've drilled the new holes.
16:23To make the holes, they're using my milling machine.
16:29Two of the holes will attach the ring to the telescope tube, and the other is for the pin that will move the eyepiece to control the focus.
16:37I've got clearance holes with canter stunts.
16:40Yep.
16:41Next, Simi taps the hole for the pin, which they make from an old screw.
16:46Do you want to just do it freehand?
16:48Which, in turn, is turned on the lathe to get it to the right size.
16:54It's got to be it, doesn't it?
16:56And we'll find out if it all fits, and by we, I mean you and me, viewers, when Tony hands in his homework later on.
17:04Now, I've asked Sim to meet me at the pub, which is also a popular B&B.
17:14Less popular, though, is a problem facing me and my fellow B&B owners.
17:20And if you're one of the 87% of adults who eat breakfast cereal every day, you'll have come across it too.
17:27Mmm, mmm, mmm.
17:30Crunchy.
17:32Crunchy is nice.
17:34But by the time you're about halfway through the bowl, the cereal has gone soft and soggy.
17:41And we don't want that.
17:42So we were wondering, is there a way of eating breakfast cereal, a bowl of breakfast cereal, in such a way or with such a device that means it is always crunchy all the way till the end?
17:57And Simi's had a bit of an idea.
18:01Maybe we need to introduce the milk at the point of entry into your mouth.
18:08To the workshop.
18:14So, our aim is to solve soggy cereal and, in so doing, reduce the amount we chuck away at the pub and in homes everywhere.
18:23Fortunately, one of us has an idea about how we might do that.
18:27So I've got this plan. So we put a spoon onto a straw.
18:34And we mould the straw to the underside of the spoon. You might have to flatten the end a little bit.
18:42And then we have a flexible tube at this end, going into your bottle of milk or your orange juice or whatever you fancy.
18:50Orange juice? Do people eat breakfast cereal with orange juice?
18:53Yes, indeed.
18:54Do they?
18:55In Norway.
18:56Do they?
18:57Yes.
18:58I didn't know that.
18:59They think it's very weird we put cow juice on.
19:02I've been to Norway quite a few times. I said you were a bit weird when I was there and I was right.
19:09You'll be able to put this in your mouth and suck up the required amount of fluid that you require.
19:16Are we going to base it on this spoon?
19:20I think similar.
19:22Because it doesn't need to be dished as much as that because it's not holding any liquid.
19:26Are you talking about making a spoon?
19:28Yeah.
19:30Oh.
19:31How are you going to make a spoon?
19:33It's not something I've ever done.
19:35It's not something I've ever done either.
19:37So I think we should just mark out our ideal shape.
19:40It's a very thin bit of copper.
19:42Yes.
19:43Which I think at the end of the day, when this is soldered to it, it will give it a nice bit of strength.
19:47Because it will be like a spine running down the whole thing.
19:49Yes.
19:50It will be very good.
19:51So I think we can mark it out.
19:53Tin snips.
19:55Bit of sanding.
19:57We'll heat it up a little bit to anneal it.
20:00Yes. That means make it go softer.
20:02It does make it go softer.
20:04And then we'll hammer it out.
20:05OK.
20:07Spoons are normally made out of stainless steel because it's rust proof.
20:12But we're making our sauce spoon out of copper because it's soft and malleable, which will come in handy at the next stage.
20:20That is like man's first spoon.
20:23It's like the genesis of the spoon.
20:26They thought, this looks useful.
20:27I'm sure we can improve it.
20:29Maybe make it a bit dished and a bit more rigid.
20:32But I think we're on to something.
20:35Next, we hammer out the dished part of the spoon.
20:39Easily done with malleable copper.
20:41Here you go, James.
20:43That is incredible.
20:48So it doesn't look very impressive, but it's a long process.
20:52And what has happened here is we've started off with a piece of soft copper.
20:56But the process of hammering it has hardened it because it work hardens, as the expression is.
21:02It happens very quickly with copper.
21:04So the thing we have to do next is anneal it, which is a way of saying soften it again.
21:08And we do that by heating it up and then allowing it to cool naturally.
21:12Then it will be softened.
21:13We'll probably have to do that several times before Sim arrives at the final shape of the spoon,
21:18which, let's be honest, is a way off.
21:20But not for long.
21:22As Sim heats, hammers,
21:27heats again,
21:29hammers again.
21:31That's going there, isn't it?
21:33And again.
21:36Until we're ready for stage two.
21:38And next we're going to join to it the copper tube that will deliver the milk, orange juice, whatever.
21:45So we need to work out its length and then shape it as close as possible to the spoon.
21:50Then we'll bind it with some fuse wire and solder it and then we can test it.
21:55So after some cutting and shaping,
22:01it's time to bind the tube to the spoon using a small clamp and Simi's expert soldering.
22:07I tend to bugger up soldering.
22:08I tend to bugger up soldering, so I'm just giving it to you to do.
22:12It's going to happen.
22:13We're going to warm the whole piece first.
22:22There she blown.
22:23There she goes.
22:24Do you want to do spoon?
22:25There you've got that bit.
22:26I'm going to have to do the spoon end.
22:28How's she going?
22:29A bit more at the front.
22:30That's it.
22:31Gone.
22:32Grand.
22:33Oh, that's filled that nicely.
22:34Look at that.
22:35Well, that's the bit going in your mouth, so.
22:36In your mouth.
22:37It's a spoon.
22:38Not raised and deep.
22:39Right, that's the thing.
22:40Right, that's it.
22:41Is the thing to stand for line at that point?
22:42OK.
22:43Oh, that's all.
22:44One of the pitches for the boule of your chamber.
22:48Say the opportunity for you to run out.
22:54Are you going that line at the
23:01side of the tray?
23:05It's a spoon, and I think it's pretty good.
23:09Do I?
23:10It's going to work.
23:12Is it?
23:12It tastes absolutely horrible.
23:15I'm not so sure Baker's Fluid is that good.
23:17Oh, God.
23:19Oh.
23:20And it is hardly corrosive, so it's slightly acidic.
23:24Might be worse for it to your mouth.
23:27Oh.
23:30Is that just water?
23:32That's that joke.
23:32It's just water.
23:38Good rinse, don't swallow.
23:39Mmm.
23:50Welcome back to Wiltshire and my pub,
23:54where we've been tackling the previously insurmountable problem
23:57of soggy cereal by inventing...
24:01the sauce spoon.
24:03This is its inaugural outing.
24:07Let's see if it works.
24:08I have here the other vital component,
24:11the food-safe plastic tubing,
24:13which goes into my milk...
24:16like so.
24:18Is everybody ready?
24:19I'm going in.
24:20Oh, that's a good start.
24:23Oh, that's a good start.
24:36How good is that?
24:37It only works.
24:41Wow.
24:43That's got to be the best thing I've ever seen.
24:45I can't...
24:46There's nothing else I can say about that.
24:48It works exactly as intended,
24:50and it's perfect.
24:52Every mouthful is like the first one.
24:55Do you want to try it?
24:56I'll wipe it off for you.
24:58I'm just kidding.
24:58Go on, I'll have a quick go.
24:59I'm intrigued.
25:01Oh, genuinely, it works.
25:03That is genuinely the best thing.
25:18It's fantastic.
25:20What's surprising...
25:22is how little milk you use.
25:24It's truly brilliant on every level.
25:29Saves waste,
25:30improves the breakfast dining experience.
25:34It keeps your cereal crunchy.
25:38There is an elephant in the room, though,
25:40which is the Norwegian way.
25:46You brought it up.
25:47I'll do it.
25:52This is for Norway.
25:54That's really stupid.
26:11Honestly.
26:13Norwegians, come on.
26:15Get a grip.
26:16Do you want to try that?
26:17That feels wrong.
26:19No, I don't want to try it.
26:19It's really wrong.
26:22Barbaric.
26:22It's a bit weird.
26:25So I know a lot of you think
26:26that we fake things for television
26:28and ham it up,
26:29but I promise you that,
26:31that simple idea,
26:32the sauce spoon,
26:34works,
26:35and it works brilliantly.
26:37That will become
26:39an essential component
26:40of the British breakfast,
26:42along with cereal
26:43and this.
26:46Cheers.
26:46It's what the Victorians did
26:54and everybody admires them.
26:56Now, look at this.
26:57We started this scene
26:58just a few minutes ago.
26:59Simi's cornflakes,
27:01where he put the milk on
27:02straight away,
27:03they are now...
27:04Mush.
27:05Yeah, they are.
27:05That is mush, isn't it?
27:07Whereas mine,
27:08my crispy rice things
27:11are still perfectly dry
27:12and crunchy
27:13and could even go back
27:13in the box
27:14if I decided I'd had enough.
27:16Absolutely zero waste.
27:23Soggy cereal solved.
27:25I head back to the shed
27:26to wait for Tony,
27:27who's hopefully been
27:28as successful
27:29in finishing off
27:30the new inner ring
27:31for Peter's telescope.
27:34James!
27:35And here he is.
27:36I have the ring.
27:37Oh!
27:39Three holes
27:40in perfect position,
27:43tapped and countersunk.
27:45That's a fabulous bit
27:46of finishing off work there, Tony.
27:47Now, we know it fits
27:48on the tube because...
27:50Well, because, frankly,
27:51I turned the inside diameter.
27:56Oh!
27:56That's very satisfying.
27:58When we give this telescope
27:59to Peter
28:00and he rotates the sleeve
28:02and focuses it,
28:03he'll say,
28:03oh, great, thanks.
28:04He'll have no idea...
28:07Ah, yeah.
28:08..how much head scratching
28:09and hard work
28:10went into this
28:11because it will never be seen
28:12because it's inside.
28:14But we will know
28:15and so will God.
28:20This is so satisfying,
28:21my first bit of lathing work.
28:24But will Tony's first bit
28:26of lathe work pass muster?
28:27This is the other way around,
28:28isn't it?
28:30So we've got to get this
28:31the right way around.
28:32Time to find out
28:34as we reassemble
28:35the telescope.
28:36This is quite exciting,
28:37isn't it?
28:38Very exciting.
28:40Ah.
28:43Pudge.
28:45That's pretty good,
28:46isn't it?
28:46It's very good.
28:47I think you've done
28:48an excellent job there, Tony.
28:50Well done you.
28:52Have the rest of the day off.
28:53Proper team effort.
28:56Tony can't actually
28:59have the day off
29:00as now the telescope's
29:01optical tube
29:02is fully rotating
29:03and expanding,
29:04it's time to set sail
29:06to the pub
29:06and hand it back
29:07to the captain of the ship.
29:09Hello, Peter.
29:10Hello, hello, hello.
29:11Please have a seat.
29:12Thank you very much.
29:13Wow.
29:14Here is your telescope.
29:16It's in one piece.
29:18It's in one piece.
29:19Only just.
29:20It doesn't look
29:21very different.
29:22We did consider
29:24polishing it
29:25but then we decided
29:26we liked the
29:27patina of use
29:28and also Tony
29:29couldn't be a f***.
29:31So we have,
29:33however, mended it.
29:33Would you like to know
29:34what we've done?
29:34I would love to know.
29:36Are you sitting comfortably?
29:37I certainly am.
29:38When we took it apart
29:39in front of you,
29:40when you first
29:41brought it to the pub,
29:42we revealed this
29:43broken inner ring.
29:45I made the ring
29:46on the lathe.
29:48You then calculated
29:49the position of the holes.
29:51Nothing is symmetrical
29:52on this thing.
29:52No, it's all
29:53completely on the top.
29:54So every ring,
29:55the screw holes
29:56are in different positions?
29:57Of course.
29:58Are you ready?
29:59Would you like
29:59to do it yourself?
30:00I'd love to.
30:01Just wind the collar
30:05and...
30:06And this comes out.
30:07Yes.
30:08Wow.
30:08Yes, it does.
30:09Smooth as well.
30:11Very smooth.
30:12Thank you very much.
30:13What can I say?
30:14Let's try it.
30:15Okay.
30:15Right, if you, um,
30:18position it there.
30:21Yep.
30:22Yep, mine's in.
30:23Sir.
30:24Okay.
30:26Is it in focus?
30:27Getting there.
30:28There we go.
30:28That's in focus.
30:30Might have had a look.
30:31Yeah.
30:33I was on the, uh,
30:34on the tower at the top.
30:37Good God.
30:39It's a telescope.
30:40Look at that.
30:41Yeah, it works.
30:45It's good, isn't it?
30:46I hope you enjoyed
30:47working on it.
30:48We did enjoy
30:49working it out.
30:50Right, sir.
30:51It's yours
30:52to take away.
30:55Thank you
30:56very much indeed.
30:58Both of you.
30:58It's a pleasure.
30:59Okay.
31:00I hope your wife
31:01enjoys it.
31:01I'm sure she will.
31:03Well.
31:04A pint?
31:05Yeah.
31:06Let's have a pint.
31:08We'll be happy with that.
31:11Tony and I might be able
31:12to relax with a pint,
31:13but over at the workshop,
31:15Simi is still busy
31:16grappling with the prototype
31:17for the adjustable cinema seats.
31:20Action.
31:21Replacing our wobbly jack contraption
31:23with a new design
31:24that features a box
31:25inside a box,
31:27he starts by building
31:29both the internal
31:30and external boxes
31:32from plywood.
31:34Next,
31:35he installs a more compact RAM
31:37that can be controlled remotely.
31:39Then he cuts out
31:43a little space
31:44for the wires
31:45before screwing on
31:46the lid
31:46that the seat
31:47will attach to
31:48and allow the jack
31:49to push up
31:50that internal box.
31:52Now all that remains
31:54is to find out
31:54if we've managed
31:55to put an end
31:56to cinema-going
31:57misery for the ages.
31:59We've returned to Salisbury,
32:09where we're back
32:10at the cinema,
32:11installing our
32:11height-adjustable seats
32:13to see if we can improve
32:14the visual experience
32:15for our audience,
32:17also known as the crew.
32:18They are still on jacks,
32:21but they now run in boxes
32:23for stability.
32:25They are powered
32:26up and down
32:26by electrical motors,
32:28and I have here
32:29a suite of remote controls
32:32for adjusting them.
32:32Now in the final version,
32:34this is a prototype,
32:35of course,
32:35this job will be done
32:36by computers
32:37and a laser,
32:39but for the moment
32:40it's done
32:40with a folding ruler.
32:42I would like to invite
32:43tonight's audience
32:44to come into the cinema
32:45and take their places,
32:47please.
32:47wherever you'd like to sit,
32:50it doesn't matter.
32:51All the seats
32:51are currently set
32:53at their midway point.
32:54They can go up
32:55and down.
32:59Who can currently
33:01see the screen?
33:02I can.
33:02Obviously, yes,
33:03you can.
33:05Simi?
33:06Tony?
33:06No.
33:07Right, OK.
33:08So, I'm going to suggest
33:10that Ethan,
33:11because you're very tall,
33:13you, sir,
33:14have to go down.
33:15And here you go.
33:17How's it about that, then?
33:28You are now
33:29at the lowest setting, sir.
33:31And just to show you
33:32that this can all be
33:33consistent
33:34and really quite scientific,
33:36if I consider
33:37Tony's face,
33:39there's a horrible prospect,
33:40I know,
33:40but his eyes
33:41are not quite
33:42high enough
33:43by,
33:44what would we call that,
33:45two inches?
33:47He needs to go up
33:47two inches
33:48in order to see
33:49over Ethan,
33:50so I will now
33:50do that.
33:53So, you,
33:54Tony,
33:54are going up, sir.
33:56Oh, yeah.
33:57Tell me when you can see.
33:59Yeah.
34:00OK.
34:01Shula,
34:02I'm assuming
34:02you can't see
34:03over Tony.
34:07This makes a fantastic noise,
34:10doesn't it?
34:11It adds to the tension
34:12and excitement
34:13of going
34:13to the cinema.
34:15You can see.
34:17So, now,
34:17Simmy,
34:18but I'm going to give you
34:19an extra inch.
34:24Will,
34:24can you see?
34:25No,
34:25but once I actually
34:26can't see at the cinema,
34:27because he's been
34:27raised up.
34:28Yes,
34:28he's been raised up
34:29so that he can see,
34:30but it's OK
34:31because I can
34:31raise you up, too.
34:40Can everybody see?
34:42Yeah.
34:43The seats are all
34:44at different heights,
34:46but each row of people
34:47is at the same height,
34:49and they are higher
34:50than the row in front
34:51by the typical distance
34:53between the top
34:54of a person's head
34:55and his or her eyes.
34:56It's fantastic.
34:58We have solved it.
34:58Well done,
34:59everybody involved.
35:00We can now,
35:01finally,
35:02sit down,
35:04relax,
35:05and enjoy
35:06one of the greatest
35:07films ever made.
35:10Roll it,
35:11projectionist.
35:26After all that hard work,
35:34we head home
35:35for some rest
35:36and relaxation.
35:38But we're not ones
35:39to waste money
35:40on expensive spas
35:41and beauty products.
35:43Oh, no.
35:44We have everything
35:45we need
35:46right here
35:46in the shed.
35:50As men,
35:52there are places
35:53where we shouldn't go.
35:54One of those
35:55is a woman's handbag.
35:56If you've been bitten
35:57by a poisonous snake
35:58and the antidote
35:59is in a woman's handbag,
36:00you still can't go in there
36:02and get it.
36:02You have to ask them
36:03to get it.
36:04That's just the rules.
36:05The other one
36:06is a beauty spa.
36:07We do know
36:07that women go there
36:09for something called
36:09a facial.
36:11And we're suffering
36:12for not having facials
36:13because, as you can see,
36:14we're haggard.
36:15We haven't cared
36:16for our complexion.
36:17So after consulting
36:18some women,
36:18I've learned
36:18that a facial
36:19consists of four
36:20essential stages.
36:21It is cleanse,
36:23tone,
36:24exfoliate,
36:26moisturize.
36:27And there are
36:28special potions
36:29and things,
36:30very expensive,
36:31for doing this.
36:32But it occurred to us
36:33that there are things
36:34in the workshop
36:34that could achieve
36:35the same thing for us.
36:36Things that we use
36:37every day
36:38but that we never use
36:39for a facial.
36:40So I think
36:41we are ready
36:41to perform
36:43the man's
36:45workshop facial.
36:46Are you up for that?
36:47Yeah, absolutely.
36:48First, we need
36:50to protect our hair.
36:52Well, you don't need it,
36:53Tony.
36:54So's Tony.
36:56Apparently,
36:56we've got to wear
36:57these goggles.
36:58This is a safety
36:59requirement
36:59from our insurers
37:00because they believe
37:01we're somehow
37:01going to shove
37:02alcohol and hand
37:03cleaners
37:04straight in our eyeballs.
37:06I wouldn't put it
37:06past us.
37:08Right.
37:09There we are.
37:10Ready.
37:10First is cleanse.
37:12This will remove
37:13grease,
37:15oil,
37:16deeply embedded
37:16dirt from your hands
37:17when you've been
37:18working on your
37:19car or your
37:19motorcycle.
37:21Have a bit of
37:21cleanser.
37:24Oh, it's refreshing.
37:28Oh, I feel better
37:29already.
37:30Oh, it feels
37:31really nice.
37:32It tastes awful.
37:34Why are you eating it?
37:35I was just
37:36liberally applying it
37:37and accidentally
37:38got my luscious lips.
37:45Don't want to
37:45admit to that.
37:46Oh, what is that?
37:48Good God.
37:48You're covered in
37:49filth, man.
37:53Why are you so clean,
37:54James?
37:55Because he doesn't do
37:56any work.
37:57There's a bit of
37:58gunk come off there
37:59off my cheeks.
38:00Yeah, it's always the
38:01cheeks.
38:01Yeah.
38:02Now we are cleansed,
38:03we must be toned.
38:06Our toner is 99.9%
38:08pure isopropyl alcohol,
38:10which we use in the
38:12workshop a lot for
38:13cleaning electrical
38:15items, toy trains that
38:16we mend, record players
38:17and so on.
38:19Don't put this in your
38:20mouth now, Tony,
38:20otherwise you'll be
38:21completely clattered.
38:23This is called toning.
38:25I don't know what it
38:26actually does.
38:28Stinks.
38:29Oh.
38:30I'm getting high.
38:32Whoa.
38:32I don't breathe.
38:34Eee.
38:34So what is normal toner?
38:37I don't know.
38:38Oh.
38:39Ego, do you want to
38:39know what a toner is?
38:41Yeah.
38:42An astringent liquid
38:43applied to the skin to
38:44reduce oiliness and
38:46improve its condition.
38:47Well, that's exactly
38:48what this is.
38:48Yeah.
38:49Alcohol removes
38:50oiliness, that's why
38:50we use it in soldering.
38:54Let's get, my face
38:54feels really tight.
38:56Yeah.
38:56It's a little tight.
38:58Right.
38:59So we've cleansed,
39:00we've toned,
39:01now we're going to
39:02exfoliate, so we're
39:04going to remove the
39:04layer of dead skin.
39:08Our exfoliant is
39:10basically a white
39:11glue, which has
39:13rubber in it.
39:17Spread it about
39:18and let it dry,
39:20and then you have
39:21the unrivaled pleasure
39:22of peeling it off.
39:24Oh, this stinks.
39:25Oh!
39:27Oh, it stinks of fish.
39:29It's absolutely
39:31minging.
39:32It is.
39:34At this point,
39:36I think, in a proper
39:37spa, you would lie
39:40down and they'd
39:42probably give you
39:43some ginger tea or
39:45something really
39:46left wing like that.
39:48We can sit back
39:49and we can relax
39:50and, you know,
39:50talk about stuff.
39:53What about a little
39:54wax?
39:55Which, I hesitate
39:57to ask this, Tony,
39:58but which bit of you
39:59did you think
39:59needed waxing?
40:01What about a leg?
40:03You want a leg waxed?
40:05A nice little smooth leg.
40:06Are you sure about this,
40:07Tony?
40:08Yeah.
40:11While we don't have
40:12the fancy hot wax machines
40:13used in spas and salons,
40:15we do have
40:16the next best thing.
40:18It's a cafeteria.
40:18Feet up.
40:22Get your leg up.
40:25When you use wax strips,
40:27there's a direction,
40:28isn't there?
40:28Should you tear up or down?
40:29I'm tearing down.
40:31Oh, I was going to go up.
40:32Well, that won't be the experiment.
40:34Oh, great.
40:35Right, are we ready, everybody?
40:39Tony, is there anything
40:39you need to say
40:40to your family or...?
40:41Tell my children
40:42and I love them.
40:43OK, you will.
40:45Three, two, one.
40:48Oh, that wasn't that bad.
40:49That's rubbish.
40:51But it did work.
40:52A bit.
40:53Look.
40:53I've got two tiny little hairs.
40:56Ladies,
40:56stop wasting your money.
40:59About £3.50.
41:02We can help you.
41:03No, actually,
41:04that sounds really weird.
41:07Right, moving swiftly on,
41:09it's time to see
41:10how much of our faces
41:11the glue has removed.
41:13Shall we take our goggles off?
41:15Yes.
41:15There's no...
41:16Oh!
41:17Oh, no, they're slightly...
41:18They suddenly come back
41:19into a colour.
41:20I've glued my goggles
41:21to my face.
41:25Oh, it makes a great noise.
41:26Listen to that.
41:29Ow!
41:30That actually hurts.
41:35Like pulling massive snots
41:37out, you know?
41:38It's letting you pull
41:39your face off.
41:41Look at this.
41:42Look at this.
41:42It's huge.
41:45It's what it would feel like
41:46to be a brand-new refrigerator.
41:53This is removing
41:54a microscopically thin layer
41:58of...
41:59Epidermis.
42:01...of a dead you.
42:02Your appearance
42:03has changed, Simmy.
42:04You look about 15.
42:06Is anybody else
42:07sort of tingling
42:08in quite a satisfying way?
42:10This is the final stage
42:11of the facial,
42:13the moisturising phase,
42:15for which we're using
42:16the beeswax,
42:16which normally we put on wood.
42:18So I'm going to start
42:19with my forehead.
42:20This is what it's like
42:21being a piece
42:22of 19th century furniture.
42:25Does smell nice.
42:26Well, it's not lovely.
42:28Better than that, though.
42:30So, I think now
42:31if we take the headbands off,
42:33go back to normal,
42:34we can get a verdict
42:35from the crew
42:36who have watched
42:37the entire process
42:37and are very familiar
42:38with our faces
42:39because obviously
42:40they film us all the time,
42:41unfortunately for them.
42:43And here we are,
42:44post-facial.
42:45You actually look much better.
42:52Yeah, you do look
42:52really flowy.
42:54Well, you'll see us tomorrow
42:54and we've got
42:56broiled costumes.
42:58If you don't turn up
42:58and work tomorrow,
42:59we'll know it's gone wrong,
43:00but you actually look very good.
43:02So I now have to
43:03point out to the viewers,
43:04I'm sure you're going
43:05to notice it,
43:06there are going to be
43:06some continuity issues
43:07because, to be honest,
43:08we don't necessarily film
43:09this series in sequence.
43:11We don't know until the edit
43:12exactly how we're going
43:13to order the stories.
43:14So you might see us
43:15and think,
43:16God, those blokes
43:16are looking old
43:17and then in the next scene
43:18you'll think,
43:19wow, look at those
43:2015-year-old boys.
43:22And it's because of this.
43:24Okay, so sorry about that.
43:27Don't do any of this at home,
43:28don't use any of these things.
43:29They're not designed
43:30as part of a facial
43:31cleansing programme.
43:34Nevertheless, it works.
43:36And we'll see you next time
43:38if you can recognise us
43:40now that we look
43:4010 years younger.
43:43I'll see you next time.
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