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00:00I came across one of your quote from the book, if your self-worth depends upon anything external,
00:05then life will play with it like a puppet. What are the factors self-worth is assigned to? Is
00:10it assigned to the efforts? Then animals like donkey also put efforts, but are they worthful?
00:15What you are asking is probably one of the most important questions ever faced by a person.
00:23When you say, what is self-worth? Is self-worth important? Why does self-worth have to depend on others?
00:30All of them have one thing at the center and in common, which is the self. So who are you then?
00:38Then I have no answer. And if I do not know who I am, what am I attaching worth to?
00:43Sir, I am also like other human beings that are also living in this planet. I must have some values.
00:49Instead of talking of worth, shouldn't we first talk about self? Now you tell me what is self-worth.
00:54I associated myself with some things in environment. Now I am associating worth to those values.
01:00But you will be all full of concepts. Doesn't it happen in the campus? Your CGPA, your JE rank,
01:06and later on the CTC, that starts determining your worth. That was the main reason I asked this question.
01:13So why do you think packages determine your self-worth?
01:16Sir, money is a necessity.
01:18So how do you know money is a necessity?
01:24Hello, sir. I am Harsip Pandey.
01:25Hello.
01:26I am a second-year B.T.K. student at IT Kanpur.
01:29Sir, first of all, it is a great pleasure to talk to you.
01:33Sir, my question is mainly about self-worth.
01:37I want to know that is self-worth a genuine concept or just an egoistic or narcissistic way of assigning value to insignificant human beings?
01:46And if it is real, then how one can measure it and how it is defined?
01:51I also came across one of your quote from the book.
01:55If your self-worth depends upon anything external, then life will play with it like a puppet.
02:01Then I want to know what are the factors self-worth is assigned to.
02:07Is it assigned to the efforts?
02:09Then animals like donkey also put efforts, but are they worthful?
02:16And the second question is that can a person's worth exist independent of others' perception?
02:22What you are asking is probably one of the most important questions ever faced by a person, right?
02:42If it is not the most important question, it belongs to the family of most important ones.
02:51Why?
02:53Because it deals with the self.
02:56It deals with the self.
02:58When you say, what is self-worth?
03:02Is self-worth important?
03:03Why does self-worth have to depend on others?
03:07And other related things that you will probably come up as we discuss.
03:15All of these terms and all these questions are, you see, very obviously centered on the self.
03:26When we say, what is self-worth, self-esteem, or even self-respect, all these are interrelated concepts,
03:36but all of them have one thing at the center and in common, which is the self.
03:42Now, can we talk of these things without first being very sharp and clear about the self?
03:51No.
03:51So, would you want us to venture into the self?
03:56What is it exactly?
03:58Yes, I want.
03:59Okay.
04:00So, what is the self?
04:03We'll discuss.
04:04I'm not really answering your question.
04:06We'll move on this together.
04:09Yes.
04:11How I identify myself?
04:13Like, I am sure that it is not my name.
04:19Maybe, my knowledge is my self.
04:23When you say, my knowledge, then it is the self's knowledge.
04:28So, there is circularity in what you are saying.
04:32My knowledge cannot be who I am, right?
04:36It's like I ask you, who are you?
04:37And you say, my t-shirt, this light colored thing that you are wearing right now.
04:41Then what you are saying is, I am, or rather, Harshit is Harshit's t-shirt.
04:48That doesn't answer who Harshit is, does it?
04:53It doesn't.
04:54So, who are you then?
04:56Then I have no answer.
05:06And if I do not know who I am, what am I respecting?
05:09What am I attaching worth to?
05:15What is all this assessment and pride about?
05:19If I do not know who I am, and I say I have a lot of self-respect, what exactly or who exactly am I respecting?
05:32Similarly, self-worth.
05:34Yeah, please.
05:36Sir, I am also like other human beings that are also living in this planet.
05:40Yes.
05:41I must have some worth, right?
05:45I must have some values.
05:47How do you know that?
05:48Is that a speculation?
05:50An empty conjecture?
05:53A feeling that you do not know where it comes from?
05:58What is it?
05:58I must have self-worth.
06:00How do you know?
06:02It is just a feeling that I must have.
06:06So, you cleared the J.E., right?
06:07You cleared the J.E., right?
06:09And there is a simple question, let's say, on projectile motion, right?
06:15A ball is thrown in such a direction, and so much is the wind speed, and the ball just breaks midway in the air, right?
06:27And where do you think that one particular part is going to fall, and some associated details are given?
06:33Would you answer it, saying, well, it must be falling at around 6 meter horizontal distance from where it was thrown?
06:43Would you admit this kind of an answer?
06:45And would I.T. Kanpur admit you if you gave such answers?
06:52No, sir.
06:53So, how can we then be a little vague, very vague, about the most important thing about ourselves, the self?
07:06What is the self?
07:06So, you talked of self-worth, instead of talking of worth, shouldn't we first talk about self?
07:20But that's the thing, the self is taken for granted, and we quickly hop on to the next thing.
07:26So, self-respect, self-doubt, self-worth, self-negation, self-affirmation, a lot of things hyphenated with the self,
07:38without knowing what the self is, without knowing what the self is, self-love, right?
07:46We can keep love aside, let's first talk of self.
07:49So, to begin with, we have a vague haziness, right?
07:57I call myself as existent.
08:02There is being.
08:04I think I exist.
08:06There is this feeling of I-ness, right?
08:10I-ness.
08:11Till this point, I think we are safe.
08:15We are, I think, on solid ground.
08:18Yes, as you said, there are so many people, and all of them feel something.
08:25So, this I-feeling is common among all living creatures.
08:30Do we agree?
08:32Do we see that?
08:33Yes, sir.
08:33Yes, now.
08:35Next thing, creatures, at least of our species, never just say, I.
08:45They also rarely say, I am.
08:53They say, I am A, or B, or C.
08:57Do we observe that?
09:00Yes, we do.
09:01Yes, sir.
09:01So, this self thing seems to be always predicated on an A, B, or C object.
09:10The self is dependent on something else, right?
09:16Yes.
09:17We associate our self with something.
09:19With something.
09:20You had used the word identity.
09:23Yes.
09:23As you begin your question, you had used that word.
09:25So, we are always identified with something, and those identities are very fluid.
09:29They just keep changing.
09:30We can observe that.
09:31Not just over long periods of time, but even over micro periods.
09:40We are creatures of changing, and fluid, and several identities at once.
09:46Now, where do these identities come from?
09:51If I say, I am A, or I am B, is that internal?
09:56Because I am talking of I, and I is supposed to be the most internal, most central thing to
10:02my existence, right?
10:04I exist.
10:05So, existence and I are the same thing.
10:10Yes.
10:11Yes, you agree?
10:11See, so, this A, B, and C, these A, B, and C, are they too internal?
10:21They are external.
10:23They are external.
10:23But this internal thing, takes its being, its existence, its sustenance, its very body, from
10:36something external.
10:37And how does that happen?
10:39How do you become A, or how do you become B?
10:41If a society values A, then I try to associate myself with A.
10:49Right.
10:50And even if it does not value A, sometimes you find yourself helpless, don't you?
10:56It's not always even about the society.
10:59So often, it's about the body.
11:01I mean, I am male.
11:03The society has hardly anything to do with that.
11:06The body gave you that, right?
11:11And there are a lot of things, as you said, that come from the society.
11:14So, for example, I am smart, I am handsome, I am rich.
11:22That is a social concept.
11:25Right?
11:26All my friends say, I am very sharp.
11:30So, that again, is obviously social.
11:36So, be it physical or social objects, what we can clearly see is that they are not internal.
11:44And we say, I is internal.
11:49But this internal thing is so helplessly dependent on external things.
11:56Okay.
11:58Are these external objects and their associations with I really controlled by the I?
12:06Determined by the I?
12:08Does that happen?
12:09Okay.
12:14Why not?
12:16They can be controlled by I.
12:18They?
12:19What did you say?
12:20They?
12:20They can be controlled by I.
12:21They can be.
12:21Yes.
12:22Potentially, they can be.
12:23But does that happen?
12:26The I seems to have a range of choices, right?
12:31For example, you could say, I am a cricket fan rather than a tennis fan.
12:40So, you could say, I chose my object, cricket.
12:44Right.
12:45So, there seems to be apparently a choice.
12:49I chose dosa over idli.
12:54So, apparently there seems a choice.
12:56So, we feel like saying that the objects that I relates to are chosen by I.
13:07Yes.
13:08But is that really the case?
13:10Will you ever say, I am an ice hockey fan?
13:19Will you say that?
13:20I don't understand.
13:22Sitting where you are as a student at the Indian Institute of Technology, Kanpur, how likely are you to say that you are an ice hockey fan?
13:33I will not.
13:36You will not say that.
13:37So, where did the options cricket, badminton and let's say soccer came to you from?
13:50From the environment.
13:52They came from the environment.
13:53So, this I then is very helplessly dependent on the environment.
13:59Except that it seems to have some kind of narrow choice in choosing what the environment throws at it.
14:07For example, your environment can offer you, let's say you are a South Indian.
14:11Your environment can offer you, I am giving a very cliched example, but bear it.
14:17Your environment can offer you dosa, idli, vada.
14:22And you say it is my free will, my choice to go for dosa.
14:28But the thing is, this choice that is being offered to you is a function of your environment.
14:36The environment has set very clear boundaries and it will not allow you to go beyond them.
14:44You are unlikely to say that it is French food that you love the most or Russian or Manchurian or Korean.
14:54Right?
14:55Or Brazilian, unlikely.
15:01So, can we say that more or less the I is borrowing its life itself from random circumstances?
15:14We can say that I is the product of our environment, right?
15:18Our environment.
15:19And the environment is not something that you control, right?
15:22Environment is random.
15:25Yes.
15:26Environment is a random variable, right?
15:29Yeah.
15:29You do not choose the place of your birth, the time of your birth, your family, your parents, your economic conditions.
15:36We do not have a choice.
15:37You don't choose your gender.
15:38In fact, you do not choose even to be born.
15:43Right?
15:43So, the environment is a random variable.
15:45And the I is helplessly dependent on the environment.
15:52Right?
15:53So, everything that I has is actually a function of the environment.
16:00In the worst case.
16:01In the worst case.
16:03Potentially, something else might be possible.
16:05We will come to that.
16:06But in the worst case, which is unfortunately also the most common and frequent case, the I, the I, the self, is hopelessly dependent on the environment, which is a random thing.
16:22Right?
16:22Now, who is the one going to have self-worth?
16:29Name the entity, the self.
16:31I.
16:32The I.
16:33So, the I will be assigning some worth to itself.
16:36And that we call a self-worth.
16:39Right.
16:40But the I is nothing but its associations or dependencies on the objects around itself.
16:48So, the I actually has no free existence of its own.
16:56Even the way it assigns worth would have been absorbed by it from the environment.
17:06So, the environment is telling the self how to accord worth to objects of the environment.
17:15Right?
17:18The environment is telling the self or rather the environment is providing the metrics to the self.
17:28The algorithm to the self through which this self, like a slave, will now attach values to objects in the environment.
17:42Now, you tell me what is self-worth?
17:43So, it is like I associated myself with some things in environment.
17:53Now, I am associating worth to those values.
17:58You are not there at all.
18:01There is just the random flux all around you.
18:06And that flux has programmed you how to assign worth to something.
18:15Even your criteria are not really your own.
18:18Right?
18:18So, what is self-worth?
18:28Now, I don't think it's a real concept.
18:31How can self-worth be real when the self is unreal?
18:36But you will be all full of concepts and those concepts you have absorbed from the atmosphere.
18:47Right?
18:47If you read widely, if you go into the history of the world, particularly the various cultures since ancient times,
18:57you will be astonished, firstly, and then amused at the diversity of things, different people at different times have found respectable or worthwhile.
19:13I was very young when I read of the particular tribe where a woman's worth is determined by the length of her neck.
19:28So, when she is a small girl still, they will put these rings around her neck.
19:43As she grows up, the neck widens, but the ring won't allow it to.
19:48So, as a result, it takes a vertical path.
19:54It elongates.
19:54And the longer the neck, the more valuable or precious or respectable or lovable or beautiful, she is considered.
20:07And you look at their necks, I mean, one, one and a half feet long necks or the length of the ears.
20:16Or, and you know, a hundred years later, two other people like you and me might be conversing.
20:30And just as today, we are astonished that somebody's worth could be determined by the length of her neck.
20:39A hundred years later, somebody might be wondering how somebody's worth can be determined by their J rank.
20:47But when it is happening, it looks perfectly natural, because it is normal, because everybody is doing it, it is normal, so it also looks natural.
21:02Doesn't it happen in the campus, your CGPA, your J rank, and later on, the weight of your package, the, what do you call it, the CTC, that starts determining your worth.
21:24And it appears so normal, but it is just like according weightage to the length of somebody's neck.
21:40There is, there is no consciousness in that, nobody knows why that is important at all, it's just that it is trendy.
21:51And if you'll ask them the reason, all the reasons that they'll give, will circle back into themselves.
22:01The logic would always be circular, and circular logic is sham logic.
22:05Or they'll, they'll, they'll, they'll come to a point where they'll say, oh, but this is obvious, is it not?
22:13No, nothing is obvious, show me, and they'll not be able to show anything.
22:19Just a bundle of belief, empty belief, that they've absorbed from the environment.
22:27Sir, can you give an example, when it becomes circular?
22:31Sir, you start with this, you, you, the topic that concerns you so much, the packages.
22:40Yeah, you start with this.
22:41So, why do you think packages determine your self-worth?
22:46Sir, money is a necessity.
22:49So, by getting a good package, I will get money.
22:52Okay, so how do you know money is a necessity?
22:54Sir, for basic things also, we need money.
23:02Yes, yes, but there is no company that comes to your campus that doesn't offer a package bigger than the basic necessities that you have.
23:19So, that is always taken care of, that we need not even talk of, basic necessities are like food, shelter, communication, commutation, these are your basic necessities, right?
23:33I don't think, I don't think, I don't think, now, how do you, wait, wait, wait, good quality of life, right?
23:41What do you mean by good quality of life and how do you know that such quality can be called as good?
23:48Sir, for basic necessities, we need only food, clothes and a home.
23:53No, you also need a laptop, you also need a laptop, you also need a vehicle given, but then no company that comes to the campus doesn't offer you enough to not enable you to afford even a laptop.
24:08That much you can always rest assured of.
24:12Yeah.
24:15But with limited money, I can't explore many things in the world.
24:18Okay, what is it, okay, okay, let's see, let's see, what is it that you want to explore that can happen only with the fattest package?
24:27Sir, I can't travel with, how, why can't you travel, why can't you travel, unless you want to travel specifically first class or business class?
24:37Let's say I want to travel to Switzerland, I can't travel with 12 black package, no, you can, you can, you just look at those who are actually traveling to Switzerland.
24:48And a lot of them, if they are single, if they don't have any liabilities, a lot of them would be traveling on that kind of package.
24:56Sir, then what about the family?
24:59How much does your family need?
25:00And if your family is currently surviving on what they have, how come their needs will suddenly escalate the day you get your job?
25:10And how come your own needs, how come your own needs will suddenly amplify the day you step out of your campus?
25:18Today, you...
25:19They are holding.
25:19Hmm?
25:21Maybe they are holding it.
25:22Holding needs or desires?
25:24Holding needs or desires?
25:27Desires.
25:27Yes.
25:28So, how do you know your desires will fulfill you?
25:32If you fulfill your desires, you will be fulfilled?
25:34How do you know?
25:37Sir, what other options I have?
25:38I have desire, I can...
25:40No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
25:41Now, we are breaking the flow of logic.
25:45Huh?
25:45What you have now come to is, I need the fattest package possible for the sake of my desires.
25:53That's what you have come to, right?
25:54Fine, fine, we respect that.
25:56But, how do you know that your desires are actually good for you?
26:04So, what do you mean by good for me?
26:06Why else do you have desires?
26:08If I tell you, your desires will kill you, will you still have those desires?
26:11No, I will not.
26:13So, you maintain desires, you respect desires, you invest in desires
26:17only because you think that fulfillment of desires will be good for you, right?
26:22How do you know that?
26:26Because I enjoy fulfilling that desire.
26:33For example, I like to eat chocolate.
26:36When I eat it, I enjoy it.
26:38There are so many things that you liked when you were 10 years old or 5 years old.
26:47What were your desires as a 5 year old?
26:50Did you really want to be at IIT Kanpur?
26:53Which stream do you come from?
26:56Chemical.
26:57EmTech.
26:58Did you really want to be doing EmTech then?
26:59What were your desires?
27:00What does the 5 year old desire?
27:02Or an 8 or 10 year old?
27:04Maybe toys?
27:05Maybe toys?
27:06Chocolate?
27:07Only?
27:08So, did they fulfill you?
27:10Or did they just, you know, evaporate and you moved on to something else?
27:17Similarly, how do you know that this that you are desiring today at the age of 20 or 25 is not a toy or a chocolate?
27:27In fact, it is literally a chocolate.
27:28In fact, it is literally a chocolate.
27:29You just mentioned chocolates.
27:30How do you know that you will not be smirking at these desires when you are 35 or 40?
27:39How do you know there is any worth in these desires?
27:46Sir, I don't understand what is the problem.
27:50I agree that desires change over the age.
27:52Right.
27:53What is the problem in fulfilling in that age?
27:57Let's say I…
27:58Very well.
27:59Very good question.
28:00See, why do you desire something?
28:05Do you desire so that the desire remains?
28:10Let's say there is a kind of water.
28:15There is a particular kind of special water.
28:19With the property that even if you drink 5 liters of it, you will still remain thirsty.
28:29Would you want to go for such water?
28:34But the moment I am drinking that water, I must feel, I must enjoy that.
28:40No, no.
28:41What is…
28:42Understand, how can there be enjoyment when you are still thirsty?
28:47That water…
28:49That water…
28:50I am also thirsty.
28:51Yes.
28:52But then you are not that moment just.
28:54Also, getting to that water requires investment of your precious life, precious time.
29:00And your expectation mind you, every desire promises you something.
29:05Come to me, I will fulfill you.
29:07Is that not the promise?
29:09No.
29:10And that's how all objects are advertised as well.
29:12Come to us, we will fulfill you.
29:15And that is also what your expectation is.
29:18If I go to that object, it will fulfill me.
29:21Right.
29:22Now, there is this water.
29:24Irrespective of how much you drink of it, you still remain thirsty.
29:28And it is an expensive water.
29:30It consumes your entire life.
29:32It wants your total investment in it.
29:34Is it wise to go after such water?
29:37No, sir.
29:38It is not wise.
29:39But in life, I don't see that example.
29:48For example, I need…
29:49I desire for car.
29:50When I get the car, the desire dies.
29:53What is the problem?
29:54Do you have a car?
29:55Wait, wait, wait.
29:56Do you have a car?
29:57That's why you can speculate this way.
30:00You see, this is the trap.
30:02What you have right now is a dream, not a car.
30:07And that's the reason you are thinking that when you will have a car, the desire for car
30:12will die.
30:13That never, never, never happens.
30:15The day you have a car, what begins is not just your journey in the car, but a journey
30:22of disappointment as well.
30:24Think about it.
30:26Because no car gives you what it promises in your dreams or in the showroom.
30:32The day you take your car out on the road, what begins is not just journey, but also
30:39your disappointment and you start planning therefore for a bigger car.
30:44You will not stop at that because the car has disappointed you.
30:47Otherwise, you wouldn't have wanted to go for a bigger car.
30:53The car is exactly the water we are talking of, irrespective of how much you drink of it.
30:59Your expectations would never be fulfilled.
31:01You would be made a fool of.
31:03It is not a question of morality.
31:05It is a question of stupidity.
31:08It is not that it is morally not proper to have desires.
31:11To hoots to morality.
31:12We don't care about morality.
31:14But we care about ourselves, right?
31:16Because the question is on the self.
31:17We care about ourselves.
31:19Why should I invest in water that is never, never going to quench my thirst.
31:24I am being made a fool of.
31:26And somebody very cunningly is robbing me of my life energy, time, money, effort, everything.
31:35That's the problem with desire.
31:37All desire exists with the promise that it will fulfill you.
31:46All desires rests upon that premise.
31:51You get that object and you will feel fulfilled.
31:54The problem is that the promise is never kept and you are deceived.
31:59Somebody cheats you.
32:02All objects are great but only in the future.
32:07Like the car, like the car that you talked of.
32:11It is a great thing to dream of.
32:14But the day you find it rolling out on the streets, you are already thinking of something else.
32:22And is that how one wants to live?
32:26An infinite progression of just dissatisfaction?
32:31Where you are internally dissatisfied and externally being looted?
32:37You don't get the car for nothing.
32:42Right?
32:43You earn for several years and then you go and give your hard earned money to somebody.
32:49And what you get in return or you should get in return is the fulfillment of a promise.
32:56Hmm.
32:57But the promise is not kept.
32:59The car doesn't give you what you want from it.
33:04Hmm.
33:05Agreed.
33:06Are you getting it?
33:07Yeah.
33:08Yeah.
33:09Yeah.
33:10Yeah.
33:11Yeah.
33:12So, now we come back to the self then.
33:15Well, as if it is ever possible to go too far away from the self.
33:20But nevertheless, return to the self.
33:25So, there is this self.
33:28And this self, whatever it is, is a desirous entity.
33:33You have captured that very well.
33:36This self is another name for desire because there is no movement when you are without desire.
33:42Conscious desire, subconscious desire, big desire, small desire, one desire, many desires.
33:50It doesn't matter but you are always desirous.
33:53Right?
33:54Hmm.
33:55Right.
33:56So, what does this self then think of itself?
34:01Try a bit of reverse engineering.
34:04If you have always found the self desirous, what does the self think of itself?
34:12To associate with other things.
34:15Yeah.
34:16Yeah.
34:17Yeah.
34:18But that's about other things.
34:19If I am always desirous of other things, what do I think of myself first?
34:23When I am always desirous of other things.
34:30If I am someone, always desirous of object A, B, C, X, Y, Z, something.
34:37Huh?
34:38What do I think of myself?
34:40In my own eyes, who am I?
34:44An alti person.
34:47Don't put labels.
34:50Hmm?
34:51Be very very factful and logical.
34:54So, there is this entity.
34:57This entity that is always craving for this, this, this, something somewhere.
35:03Real or imaginary, doesn't matter.
35:05But this entity is always craving for something.
35:08So, what does that tell you about the nature of this entity?
35:12Dissatisfied.
35:13Dissatisfied.
35:14Very well captured.
35:16Incomplete, can we say that?
35:18Yes.
35:19Yes.
35:20And therefore, it thinks of all those objects as candidates that will bring it?
35:26Satisfaction.
35:27Or completion.
35:28Yeah.
35:29Completion, we may say.
35:30Right?
35:31So, that's what the self is in its own eyes.
35:36An incompleteness.
35:38A hollowness.
35:40A restlessness.
35:42A perpetual dissatisfaction.
35:46A constant feeling.
35:47I am inferior.
35:48I am not worth it.
35:49I am not enough.
35:50That's what the self is.
35:51A constant dissatisfaction.
35:52A constant feeling.
35:53I am inferior.
35:54I am not worth it.
35:56I am not enough.
35:59That's what the self is.
36:02And the more incomplete, the more restless, the more inferior and little and petty the self
36:13takes itself to be, the more it will crave for all these objects it sees.
36:23Right?
36:24Yes sir.
36:25So, in its own eyes, the self is a hollow.
36:30An incomplete thing.
36:34By its own admission.
36:37The self has confessed that I am a hollow.
36:42An incomplete thing.
36:44Now, if that is what the self is, tell me, what is self-worth?
36:59I have admitted, I am hollow from within.
37:04And therefore, like a beggar, I keep running after this, that, something.
37:08Please, please enter my life and fulfill me.
37:12Be it a girl walking down a lane or that next car I am looking at from the road.
37:23All the time, I am just wishing, which should be actually called as begging.
37:29So, who am I in my own admission?
37:32A beggar.
37:33A beggar.
37:34Now, what about self-worth?
37:38Maybe it's just deceiving that these things have fulfilled my incompleteness.
37:48Lovely.
37:49So, what we have come to is, as long as we operate as the ordinary self, the self-worth is bound to be not just zero but negative.
38:03We will remain beggars in our own eyes.
38:10And if you are a beggar, then you are controlled by your masters.
38:16Aren't you?
38:18Aren't you?
38:20So, very proudly you say, I am Harshita, student of IIT Kanpur and that's what defines me.
38:25Tomorrow, some random circumstance, some chance event, something in the environment and the institute checks you out.
38:37Now, you will crash.
38:41Because now you have tied your self-worth to a master, to an external master.
38:48Right?
38:49And that's what happens to most people.
38:52They have nothing within except a hollow.
38:57A vacuum that they are desperately trying to somehow fill using all the objects of the world.
39:04Just that the attempt will never succeed.
39:06Because the attempt rests on the premise that I am actually hollow.
39:11And this premise, this assumption, this supposition is never tested at all.
39:16Because our education does not teach us how to.
39:24So, we begin with this.
39:25I am the self and I am always hungry.
39:29Always hollow.
39:30Always dissatisfied.
39:31Always incomplete.
39:32Can I have this?
39:34Can I have this?
39:35May I have this?
39:36May I have that?
39:37This one please?
39:38Hello?
39:39Please, please.
39:40Can you?
39:42That's our situation the entire life.
39:44Hmm?
39:45So, there has to be like zero or negative self-worth.
39:55And to hide this absence of self-worth, then we load ourselves with even more objects.
40:04Because there is a deep inferiority complex within.
40:07Because there is a deep void within.
40:11So, we load ourselves with gadgets of all kinds, with displays of all kinds, with performances of all kinds.
40:19You deck up your CV, you ostentate, you just keep showing off to this and that.
40:30See how much I have.
40:31And all this that you are showing off to others or even to yourself.
40:35It's not just others that you show off to.
40:38Often, you show off to yourself as well.
40:41I am now convinced.
40:42I am a big man.
40:43Why?
40:44Look at my watch.
40:46This.
40:47Please.
40:48Please.
40:49Sir, then nothing in this word is worthy enough.
40:52The word worthy itself is not a genuine word.
40:57I am yet not too eager to come to worth.
41:01I am still on the self.
41:03Okay.
41:04Stay on the self.
41:06That's what all wisdom is about.
41:08Stay on the self.
41:10So, I will do then everything to somehow borrow some worth from the world.
41:22Why?
41:23Because the self feels impoverished.
41:26The self feels just so petty.
41:30So miserable.
41:31So ashamed of itself.
41:33That it has to take this, this, this, this, this associate with this.
41:37Take names.
41:38Say I belong to that association.
41:40Or I hold this great post now.
41:43And if that post is not there, then I am nobody.
41:46That's the situation, right?
41:49And this kind of.
41:51Well, how do you like this situation?
41:53Do you enjoy the situation?
41:56No, I don't like this.
41:59Oh, you don't like this.
42:00Wonderful.
42:01That's a crisp admission.
42:02Lovely.
42:03We don't like this situation.
42:06Any honest person should actually never like this situation.
42:09But to clearly say I don't like this situation, you require some boldness, some honesty.
42:17So, yes.
42:18Well done.
42:19You admitted nobody should like this situation where you are just dependent on so many worldly
42:24objects.
42:25If you don't like it, then you will ask from where does this situation arise?
42:30Now, we look into it.
42:31Now, we look into it.
42:33I think that will add value to me because first of all, I have believed that I lack value
42:41in myself.
42:43Think of it.
42:45You want to add external value to yourself through some object only when you first of
42:51all deeply believe that you lack value in itself, in yourself, right?
42:58So, this incompleteness, this hollowness, this dissatisfaction that we talked of as being intrinsic
43:08to the self, what if they are all suppositions?
43:13What if they are just beliefs that the self has borrowed about itself from the environment?
43:21Maybe, maybe, the environment, the first thing it tells you is that you are incomplete.
43:31And later on it tells you, now that object A will make you complete.
43:37Maybe, without first telling you that you are incomplete, you could not have been persuaded
43:44to rush after or beg after object A.
43:49Isn't that logical?
43:50If I already feel full, will I rush after something?
43:59No.
44:00So, this helplessness, this disgrace, this indignity, this misery, this condition that
44:08you said that you don't like and nobody should like is all because first of all, we have been
44:13made to feel incomplete about ourselves.
44:16That's a defining characteristic of the self.
44:18It feels incomplete about itself and lonely and afraid, right?
44:24And therefore, it has to associate with this, this, this, this, this in a dependent way.
44:28In a dependent way it associates.
44:30How do you know?
44:31How do you know that this incompleteness is first of all real?
44:36How do you know?
44:40So, if I don't associate myself with anything, then there is no difference between me and
44:50you.
44:51And if there is no difference between me and you, then I am equally valuable than like you.
44:57No, no, wait, wait, wait.
44:58You are still going into the future.
45:00If I don't do this, then there is no difference.
45:03But the question is different.
45:04The question pertains to the present fact.
45:08Present fact.
45:09The present fact is that you do associate with these lot of things.
45:15Not associating yourself with others, not being dependent on others is just an assumption.
45:22That has never happened with you, right?
45:24So, why I talk of assumptions?
45:26We will talk of reality.
45:28So, we are dependent on objects and we are dependent on objects because we firmly believe that we
45:35cannot exist without depending on objects.
45:40We firmly believe that.
45:42And if you believe that, then there will be negative self-worth.
45:46That's right?
45:48Now, if we want to get rid of this indignified situation where net worth will definitely be
45:57negative.
45:58We will have to examine the belief.
46:03What is the belief?
46:04That without depending on the world, I am nobody.
46:08Without having crutches, external supports, I am nobody.
46:14We will have to examine this belief, right?
46:19Yes, sir.
46:21Now, let's examine it.
46:23If we have known that whatever the world gives you never, never really takes away your
46:30dependencies, then why in the innermost sense should I depend on the world?
46:37Yes, externally for various operational things, behavioral and practical things, I will be dependent.
46:44I need this mic to be speaking to you.
46:47Yes.
46:48But why should internally, as a question of the self, I be dependent on this mic or that gadget
46:58or this person looking at me from that screen?
47:01Why should I be dependent?
47:03Why can't I internally be totally, totally free of whatever objects there are?
47:12And from that freedom, now if I speak to you, is that a problem?
47:18Sir, no one can be completely independent.
47:23No, how do you know that?
47:25How do you know that?
47:26That again is a supposition.
47:27And you must investigate, where did this kind of a belief come to you from?
47:33How do you know?
47:35And mind you, we are not talking of a vacuum in which you do not interact with others, in
47:42which you do not relate to others.
47:44We are talking of not being existentially dependent on others.
47:49Is that a problem?
47:54Sir, by dependence you mean, sir, what do you mean by dependence?
47:59I am blank and this blankness hurts.
48:08This blankness is the incompleteness we are talking of.
48:10I am blank and it hurts.
48:13Therefore, I depend on X.
48:16I am X.
48:17Now it feels at least momentarily good.
48:22This is the dependence I am talking of.
48:25Okay.
48:27The feeling, the assumption that I am blank.
48:31And this blankness basically is ignorance.
48:34I do not know myself.
48:36Therefore, there is a void, a blank.
48:38And hence, some object has to come to fill that blank up.
48:44This is the incompleteness I am talking of.
48:48I am sipping from this mug.
48:52Right?
48:53This is not existential dependence.
48:56This is a behavioural relationship.
48:59Even if this is not there, it does nothing to who I really am.
49:05Similarly, there are so many other things.
49:08They may come, they may go.
49:10Sometimes they are here, you welcome them like guests.
49:13And then they are gone.
49:15You bid them goodbye like guests.
49:17That is fine.
49:18That is fine.
49:19But being existentially dependent for your worth on something, reduces your self-worth to negative.
49:26Okay.
49:27So, self-worth can exist only when the self is real.
49:38And real self is one that does not borrow itself from the world.
49:43Once you do not borrow yourself from the world, we cannot even estimate your self-worth.
49:52No number can be put to it.
49:54You can call it infinite.
49:56Or call it 0.
49:57Or call it 0.
50:00Or call it negative.
50:03Yes, you are right.
50:08You can call it infinite or call it 0.
50:100 in the sense that it cannot be captured in a number.
50:15Because all numbers are after all finite.
50:22Yes.
50:24So, to have any self-worth, first of all, you must have clarity about the self and that clarity
50:33clears away the blank.
50:36All wisdom literature, the entire world through the centuries is about clearing away your false
50:44false notions about the self.
50:47How do you experience these false notions in your life?
50:51How do you know they exist?
50:53I must, I must become an engineer.
50:59Why?
51:00Why?
51:0140 years back, people were not so crazy.
51:04And I must be in the CS branch.
51:06Why?
51:07Why?
51:08I must get married.
51:11Exactly.
51:12Why?
51:13Have you?
51:14All, all these statements that you hear daily are very strong indicators of the blank.
51:22Blank.
51:24I do not know who I really am.
51:26Therefore, I borrow myself from the world.
51:30The moment you do that, you are humiliating yourself.
51:36It is indignity.
51:41Nobody will say, I do not know the self.
51:45Ignorance about the self exhibits itself in lot of other ways.
51:51Many, many other ways.
51:53The need to always belong to a group, for example.
51:57The need for social acceptance.
52:01The need to be ahead of the pack.
52:04The need to be competitive.
52:09The need to look good in others' eyes.
52:13The need to be seen as successful.
52:18All of these are very strong indicators of the blank.
52:23And if the blank exists, then you have negative self-worth.
52:32Have you been together?
52:34Yes, sir.
52:35Or did I miss you at some point?
52:37No, sir.
52:38Okay.
52:39I can't expect any better answer.
52:41I am glad.
52:42I am glad.
52:43I am glad.
52:44Sir, I got the answer.
52:48Thank you so much.
52:49Welcome.
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