00:00So I was wondering if someone is mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually okay with themselves, why would they want to look for a companion?
00:21The role of the companion is to reflect the reality back to you and therefore uplift you. So when you reach a level of upliftment where an external end is no longer necessary, that's when you can say I don't need any companion. Therefore it is said that you better have somebody in choosing the right person to be with. But that does not mean that you must always have someone around you.
00:51So I was going through the book and when I read about companionship, I was wondering, actually I've watched a lot of videos on companionship and everything. So I was wondering if someone is mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually okay with themselves, why would they want to look for a companion?
01:17Not really. Then they don't look for a companion. Then they become great companions to those who need companionship.
01:31But what you are talking of is an advanced level where the need to have someone else acting as a mirror for you diminishes greatly.
01:50See, the role of a companion is to reflect the reality back to you and therefore uplift you. So when you reach a level of upliftment where an external end is no longer necessary, that's when you can say I don't need any companion.
02:12But that's the goal. But that's the goal. So yes, progressively, the need to be around somebody all the time, the need to be surrounded, the need to have a shoulder or a hand, this should definitely keep diminishing.
02:30Definitely. But as it diminishes, that does not really make one an asocial person. As that need diminishes, one becomes in fact more and more useful to the society because now I don't need support, but I can offer support.
02:53So in that case, what are the right reasons to choose a companion or go for a companion or is it not?
03:04It's this way. It's this way. One starts from where's on is. So as we are, we are anyway by default looking for company. That's how most people are. Right?
03:17Yeah.
03:17And since they are anyway looking for company, hence it is advised that they must be discreet about their company.
03:24Because there is something within us that is always looking to relate, always looking to hold a hand, form a bond, get associated, even get identified.
03:36Since that exists by default, look at the kid that is born, then the kid experiences loneliness and wants company.
03:47So since we anyway are looking for somebody to be around, therefore it is said that you better have some breaks in choosing the right person to be with.
04:02Right?
04:03Right.
04:04But that does not mean that you must always have someone around us. A point comes when even that this patient is no longer needed, become irrelevant.
04:15You exceed your need to have a friend or a partner or whatever and then you become truly valuable.
04:26Because now you can go out and radiate the message and be of tremendous help. Otherwise, usually in the name of relationship, we are just seeking help, not offering help.
04:40At most, we are exchanging pleasure and that is not help.
04:45And say, in case we have not yet reached the level where we don't feel the need, suppose one feels the need, in that case, the best option is to be discreet about it.
04:56Very discreet about it. Very discreet about it. Because slowly one becomes the company one keeps.
05:02Yes.
05:03The thing, the object, the person, the idea we choose to be with causes a displacement in your very centre.
05:15You and the object you are associated with, they form a pair.
05:21Yes.
05:22Right?
05:23So, each one changes the other. You determine the one you be with and the one you are with will determine what you become.
05:32So, these two go hand in hand. Therefore, one needs to be cautious.
05:36So, while we are on the journey and suppose with that person, like we have made the decision and then we reach a point where we don't feel the need, then?
05:46And that's life. That's life.
05:48That's life.
05:49Then still, like, should we be with that person?
05:52Sure, human compassion must still exist, but the relationship, the nature of the relationship must evolve now.
06:00So, while being with that person, we can still be?
06:03Yes. I mean, it's not as if it's a use and throw kind of situation where you used somewhere for your growth.
06:11And once you have outgrown that person, then you decide to pick him away.
06:15Not that.
06:16But the nature of association should definitely mirror the reality.
06:22You were one person when, let's say, the relationship started and now you are another person.
06:28And this change must reflect in the nature of the relationship.
06:32You cannot say, because I used to behave in this way with this person five years back.
06:38So, I'll continue to hold the same practice, the same mood, the same ritual, the same identity, the same mask.
06:45Even after I have graduated to being somebody else, there's no need to do that.
06:50If you have evolved, improved, let that show in the relationship.
06:54So, we can be a different person in the same relationship.
06:57You have to be. That's the demand of truth.
06:59Yes. Otherwise, you are...
07:01Not evolving.
07:02We are deceiving, not just yourself, but even the other.
07:05Wow.
07:06He say, we don't want to hurt the other.
07:09Before, we must act like the person we were in the past.
07:12Right.
07:13But if you don't display who you really are, aren't you deceiving this very person you are aiming not to hurt?
07:20Yeah.
07:21Yeah, yes.
07:22And we have to anyway keep evolving, so...
07:24No.
07:25And therefore, the relationship must have enough space for truth.
07:29If the two of you have to lie to each other, then the relationship will not be this.
07:37I watched so many videos, but I was still confused.
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