- 12 hours ago
First broadcast 10th November 1994.
When Reverend Pottle, the 102-year-old vicar of St Barnabas' Dibley, dies suddenly, the villagers eagerly await his replacement.
Geraldine Granger Dawn French
David Horton Gary Waldhorn
Hugo Horton James Fleet
Alice Tinker Emma Chambers
Letitia Cropley Liz Smith
Frank Pickle John Bluthal
Jim Trott Trevor Peacock
Owen Newitt Roger Lloyd Pack
Vicar Pottle Preston Lockwood
When Reverend Pottle, the 102-year-old vicar of St Barnabas' Dibley, dies suddenly, the villagers eagerly await his replacement.
Geraldine Granger Dawn French
David Horton Gary Waldhorn
Hugo Horton James Fleet
Alice Tinker Emma Chambers
Letitia Cropley Liz Smith
Frank Pickle John Bluthal
Jim Trott Trevor Peacock
Owen Newitt Roger Lloyd Pack
Vicar Pottle Preston Lockwood
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00The Lord is my ship, I shall not want, I make it me till I done in green past,
00:12He leadeth me, his heartless dear water, dear water, dear water.
00:33The wrath of the king was mighty and knew no bound, and so they did leave that country,
00:38and did with heavy heart return unto Japheth and unto Gad.
00:43Here ends the lesson.
00:47Let us pray.
00:50Dear Lord, we ask thee to bless all the members of this thy congregation,
00:57and we especially ask you to remember the Queen, who has been having trouble with her piles again,
01:05and Mrs. Sinclair Wilson and all her family.
01:11Mrs. Sinclair Wilson, who has been having trouble with her piles again,
01:16and the Queen and all her family. Amen.
01:20May you grant them happiness in this world and in the next.
01:26Peace everlasting. Amen.
01:29Amen.
01:30Amen.
01:31Amen.
01:35We now sing hymn number 16.
01:53The day thou gavest, Lord, has ended.
01:56Amen.
01:56Amen.
01:56Amen.
01:57Amen.
01:58Amen.
01:59Amen.
02:00Amen.
02:01Amen.
02:02Amen.
02:03Amen.
02:04Are we all here?
02:25Yes, perfectly.
02:26Not can we all here, are we all here?
02:30I'm sorry.
02:32Yes, sir.
02:32All except Mr. Newet.
02:34Well, let's go on then, shall we?
02:35Newet's always late.
02:36We've got a lot of business.
02:38Right.
02:38I call this meeting of the Dibley Parish Council to order.
02:42David Horton in the chair, Frank Pickle taking minutes.
02:45Shall I minute that, sir?
02:48What?
02:49About my taking the minutes.
02:50Do you normally minute it?
02:51Well, I'd like to, yes.
02:53Then do it again.
02:53Oh, thank you.
02:54The agenda this week starts with the tragic news of the death of Reverend Pottle.
02:59Yes, David.
03:00He'd been a great servant to this village ever since his arrival here as a young-ish man in 1917.
03:07Happy days.
03:08Yes, we remember particularly fondly his famous Christmas sermon, which I think we all know by heart.
03:15He shall be greatly missed.
03:17Here, here.
03:18Anyone want to add anything to that?
03:20No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
03:21Yes.
03:22Just one thing, if that's all right.
03:26Yes, fire away.
03:27No, no, no, no, no.
03:28But I thought maybe we should mention the marrow.
03:35And what marrow is that?
03:37He comes second in the marrow growing contest in 1956.
03:44Oh, bravo.
03:45Well, excellent, yes.
03:47We'll include that.
03:48Anything else?
03:48No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
03:52That's no, is it?
03:57No, no, no, no, no, yes.
04:01Right.
04:02Moving on.
04:02Yeah, sorry I'm late.
04:04That's all right, Owen, we've only just begun.
04:06My bladder's been playing up again.
04:08I've spent so much time in the stables toilet I'm thinking of sending out change of address cards.
04:14Yes, thank you, Owen.
04:17Moving on.
04:18Well, last week was the Village of the Year competition
04:21and I've written to Buckingham Palace thanking them so much for Prince Edward's visit.
04:26Shame.
04:26I beg your pardon?
04:28No, I've nothing against Prince Edward, though I don't usually trust bald blokes.
04:33I'm just surprised, though, that we don't start with a reverence death.
04:36We dealt with that before you arrived, Owen.
04:39Now, moving on.
04:41Perhaps you'd like me to read the minutes back to you, Owen, so you can catch up.
04:45I don't think that'll be necessary.
04:47We don't need to waste our whole evening because of Owen's dodgy waterworks.
04:51Shall I minute that?
04:52No, thank you.
04:54Right.
04:56Shall I leave a gap, then?
04:58Whatever you think, Frank.
05:01Well, it's not going to flow very well.
05:03Oh, for goodness sake, Frank, you are the parish clerk, not Alfred Lord Tennyson.
05:09Right.
05:10I'm sorry, everyone, for that rather annoying interlude.
05:13But if we can move on to the question of the successor to Reverend Pottle...
05:17Are you sure about that?
05:18What, Frank?
05:19What?
05:20Well, you just described Prince Edward's visit as a rather annoying interlude.
05:24Oh.
05:25I certainly did not.
05:26Well, I'm afraid you did.
05:28I cut that jolly interesting bit about Owen's bladder.
05:32So now it reads,
05:34So much for Prince Edward's visit, and if we can move on from that rather annoying interlude.
05:40Oh, God.
05:41Could we get on? I've got a worrying feeling in my colon.
05:44Um.
05:45Yes?
05:47Nothing.
05:49Would you like that minute in, Mrs Cropley?
05:51Oh, yes, I suppose so.
05:54Excellent.
05:56Then Mrs Cropley said nothing.
05:58Now, moving on.
06:02I have, of course, asked the bishop for someone a little younger than the Reverend Pottle.
06:06Yes, please.
06:07But then I think it would be hard to find anyone older without actually recruiting a member of the Rolling Stones.
06:12Right, if we could quickly move on through to the planning applications, which I think you'll find on pink 7A.
06:24The Herberts want a new barn.
06:28Rejected.
06:29The Franklins want a new kitchen.
06:31Rejected.
06:32And my son Hugo here's putting up a conservatory for his South American flower collection, which I think should be fine.
06:38Excellent news.
06:40Somewhere for the pool table at last.
06:42Right.
06:42Any other business?
06:43Definitely not.
06:44Thank you all very much.
06:46We all meet again in a fortnight.
06:47Have you got all that, Frank?
06:49Yes.
06:49Without actually recruiting a member of the Rolling Stones.
06:52What comes next?
07:09Finally, we'll be able to get this village going again.
07:12Do you realise at last year's fate, Potty Pottle awarded the prize for the best carrot to a cucumber?
07:17Yes.
07:19He was losing it a bit.
07:20Though I did agree, the Bishop of Oxford deserved first prize in the fancy dress competition.
07:24For being dressed as a bishop.
07:26That's right.
07:28Brilliant.
07:29Well, those days are gone.
07:32Apparently this new chap is superb.
07:34Personally recommended by the Bishop of Wickham.
07:36Isn't he that dodgy one who says that Jesus didn't exist?
07:39And even if he did, he definitely wasn't a Christian.
07:42Oh, it's about time we had someone with half a brain on the parish council.
07:48Oh, yes, well.
07:50Apart from your good self.
07:53At last we can give that frightful verger Alice the heave-ho.
07:58Well, I don't think she'll be very happy about that.
08:01Tough luck.
08:02She's a famous imbecile.
08:04In last year's Christmas crib, she had the Virgin Mary cradling a pig.
08:09And the baby Jesus being suckled by a black goat.
08:12But she's awfully keen.
08:16Yes, Eddie the eagle was very keen.
08:20The kind thing to do would still have been to shoot him between the eyes the first time he put on a pair of skis.
08:25No, I think the new chap will see scents.
08:31Sack Alice and sack Mrs Cropley.
08:35I've seen better flower arrangements on a compost heap.
08:39Whiskey?
08:40Please.
08:41Excellent stuff.
08:43Keep it firmly locked away when the rabble come round.
08:46There's no point wasting good liquor on people who just adore Asda's sweet amontillado.
08:52Actually, that is lovely stuff, isn't it?
08:55Good old Asda.
08:59Ooh, sherry.
09:00Wow.
09:01Only the best here, Miss Tinker.
09:03Thanks very much.
09:05Sandwich?
09:05Oh, no thank you.
09:07Anchovy and peanut butter.
09:08Not quite my cup of tea.
09:10Frank, sherry?
09:11Oh, thank you very much.
09:12Lovely.
09:13My favourite.
09:14There we are.
09:15Cheers.
09:16Jim?
09:16No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
09:18Yes.
09:21There we are.
09:22Don't drink it all at once.
09:23Top stuff.
09:27As you all know, we're all gathered here to greet our new vicar.
09:31I'm sorry it's such an awful night.
09:33I can't fix everything.
09:35Well, you did get our cat fixed, didn't you?
09:41I think our new vicar has arrived.
09:44Either that or the milkman's very late again.
09:48Hello?
09:49Hello, could you have any sitting down out here?
09:52It's raining very hard now, please.
09:56Hello.
09:57Hello.
09:58David Honiton.
09:59Hortley.
09:59Horton.
10:00Horton, that's the chap.
10:01Could you just take these while I...
10:05Cheers.
10:06Bye.
10:09Excuse me.
10:09It's past you.
10:18Hello.
10:18I'm Geraldine.
10:19Believe you're expecting me.
10:20No, I'm expecting our new vicar.
10:22Unless, of course, you are the new vicar and they've landed us with a woman.
10:25Some sort of insane joke.
10:27Oh, dear.
10:30Oh, my God.
10:32You were expecting a bloke, beard, Bible, bad breath?
10:36Yes, that sort of thing.
10:37Yeah.
10:38And instead you've got a babe with a bobcat and a magnificent bosom.
10:41So I see.
10:44Well, don't worry.
10:45It'll be all right.
10:46You need a stiff drink.
10:47So do I.
10:48Come on, David.
10:49Hello.
10:50I'm Geraldine.
10:51Call me Gerry.
10:52Delighted to meet you.
10:53I'm Hugo.
10:54Call me Hugo.
10:55Right.
10:57Mind if I say that that is a devastatingly smart tie, Hugo?
11:01Is it?
11:02Yes.
11:02Shall we go?
11:03Yes.
11:05Ladies and gentlemen, your new vicar.
11:08Hello.
11:09Geraldine.
11:12Boo!
11:16How do you do?
11:17I'm Frank Pickle.
11:18I take the minutes on the council.
11:20Splendid.
11:21Very important job.
11:22Do forgive me if I instantly forget your name, won't you?
11:25I'm absolutely dreadful with names.
11:27Ask me to name the Virgin Mary's eldest son and...
11:29Nope.
11:29Mine's gone black.
11:32Jesus.
11:32That's it!
11:33Yes.
11:34Hello.
11:35Geraldine.
11:35Gerry.
11:37Letitia.
11:38Letty.
11:39Cropley.
11:39I do the flowers in the church.
11:41Oh, splendid.
11:42And what have we got in this week?
11:44Well, we're in mourning for the Reverend Pottle.
11:46Of course.
11:47Lovely.
11:48Carnations.
11:49Yes.
11:50And I thought I'd put in a pineapple as well.
11:55Unusual.
11:57And you are?
11:59No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Jim.
12:02Jim?
12:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
12:04Not Jim?
12:05No, no, no, yes, Jim.
12:06Ah, no, no, no.
12:08Good, good.
12:10And finally...
12:12Delighted to meet you.
12:14This is Miss Tinker.
12:15She was the verger under the Reverend Pottle.
12:17Oh, splendid.
12:18Do you want to go on with the job?
12:19Oh, yes, please, Mum.
12:21I'd like that.
12:22Good, good.
12:23Don't call me Mum.
12:24Sounds like the Queen.
12:25Lovely lady, but very odd taste in hats, don't you think, Miss Tinker?
12:29Yes, I do.
12:30Yes, yes.
12:31Oh, um, you can call me Alice.
12:33Right.
12:34Because it's my name.
12:37Right.
12:38Perhaps we should talk about all this in the morning.
12:40Yes, thanks.
12:41Ooh, ooh, do you mind?
12:43Absolutely hate Amontillado.
12:44You wouldn't have any whiskey, would you?
12:46Um, certainly.
12:47Oh, yes.
12:48Good.
12:48I wouldn't mind a whiskey if there's one going.
12:51Me too.
12:52Jim?
12:53Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
12:54Please, so, uh, yes, I'll have one.
12:56Whiskey.
12:58Very unusual sandwiches.
13:00What's this with the ham?
13:01Lemon curd.
13:03Good Lord.
13:05Mind if I just pop it down there?
13:06Just for a minute.
13:08I'd like to say a big thank you to all of you for coming along on such a horrible night
13:11when you could be in watching, ooh, what, Top of the Pops?
13:14We're missing Top of the Pops.
13:16Anyway, here's cheers.
13:18Sorry, Emily.
13:19I've been on the cars here since sundown.
13:23Ah, Owen.
13:25This is Geraldine.
13:27She's the new vicar.
13:29Hello.
13:29No, she isn't.
13:31Why not?
13:32She's a woman.
13:33Oh, you noticed?
13:35These are such a giveaway, aren't they?
13:38Eh?
13:38Whiskey, Owen?
13:39I think I might need one.
13:40Yeah.
13:41Let's make it a double.
13:43Ooh, David, I think we'll be needing another bottle soon.
13:45Did I spot a little Glenfiddich in there?
13:47I don't think so.
13:48No.
13:49No, no, no, no, no, no, there is.
13:52Or we could have that really expensive single malt you were keeping for very special occasions.
13:56Oh, I think I feel a party coming on.
14:02Cheers!
14:05Can I speak to the bishop?
14:07He's where?
14:08Oh, God.
14:10What's he doing there?
14:11They're all Muslims, aren't they?
14:14Really?
14:1625 million Christians?
14:18Oh, well, fair enough.
14:19More than here.
14:19By about 25 million.
14:23Look, can I leave a message?
14:25David Horton rang, if he could ring me as soon as he returns.
14:28This is outrageous.
14:30I won't have my village used like some laboratory animal to see if women vicars work.
14:34Ah, she seemed a decent sort of chap to me.
14:36That's the whole point.
14:38She's not a chap.
14:39Well, no, not technically.
14:41Well, that is quite a technicality.
14:43I mean, what is happening?
14:45Are we to have topless bathing on the rectory lawn come summer?
14:48The old vicar used to sign by a topless, actually.
14:51Yes, but he was a man, so it didn't matter.
14:55Aye, as well it probably did, because he had that sort of very fair skin that burns terribly.
14:59Oh, get a grip, Hugo.
15:02If Jesus wanted women to spread the gospel, he would have appointed them.
15:05It's Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, not Sharon, Tracy, Tara and Debbie.
15:10No, it won't do.
15:11Hugo, I want you to call an extraordinary meeting of the council.
15:15We'll get this done before it's too late.
15:16They don't call me Sport and Horton for nothing.
15:20I didn't know they called you Sport and Horton.
15:22I thought they called you Dirty David because of your enormous collection of Victorian pornography.
15:26Oh, for goodness sake, shut up!
15:30Well, it can't be right, can it, really?
15:33What's that?
15:34Having a woman vicar.
15:36I mean, Jesus didn't have women disciples, did he?
15:39No.
15:40But things have to change, don't they?
15:43That's right.
15:44I mean, look at traffic lights.
15:49Well, if they didn't change, there'd be terrible congestion, wouldn't there?
15:53On the other hand, there's gravity.
15:56What about it?
15:57If gravity changed, we'd all go floating up into space.
16:00And no-one wants that.
16:05So there's good change and bad change.
16:08That's right.
16:09I mean, there's the changing of the guard, isn't there?
16:13Oh, beautiful.
16:15And then there's prawn-flavoured crisps.
16:18Disaster.
16:18Well, here we are, number two.
16:22Base camp.
16:35Well, from here, we launch our great mission.
16:39With, of course, proper rations.
16:44You're going to have to take me through a few things.
16:47Oh, yeah.
16:48What kind of crowd are we pulling to the Sunday gigs here?
16:52Oh, er, about four.
16:55Crowd of four?
16:56Yeah.
16:57On a good day.
16:58Well, four's not bad, is it?
17:02I mean, there were four Gospels.
17:04Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
17:06Four Rocky movies till they made Rocky V.
17:08Very bad movie, I thought.
17:10Well, it may go up to five if Mr Newet's bowels sat all down.
17:14Well, let me just get this straight.
17:15We've got Mrs Cropley, Mr Pickle, Mr Horton.
17:19Oh, sometimes Hugo comes.
17:21But not very often.
17:22So who's the fourth one?
17:25Mr Newet, I mention with the bowels.
17:28No, no, no, no.
17:29He was the fifth one, wasn't he?
17:31Was he?
17:32Oh, yes.
17:34Oh, er, um, well, Mrs Cropley, isn't it?
17:38Oh, me!
17:40Oh, me!
17:41Oh, me!
17:41Well, what about Christmas?
17:45Oh, Christmas?
17:46Well, that's special.
17:47Good.
17:47How many?
17:48Three.
17:49Mrs Cropley always goes to visit her sister.
17:51I see.
17:53What about you, Alice?
17:54What do you do when you're not in charge of crowd control here?
17:58I help the teacher at the nursery school.
18:01Oh.
18:02Art's my forte.
18:07So it is.
18:10Reverend Pottle said that I was, um, an undiscovered genius.
18:13Did he?
18:14Did he?
18:15Very remarkable man.
18:18Well, let's see.
18:24Oh.
18:25Ooh.
18:26Ribena.
18:27Yum, yum.
18:28Sunday school?
18:28No, for Holy Communion.
18:30An Orthodox.
18:31What?
18:32Well, the Reverend had a tendency to get a little tipsy, so I used it instead of wine to avoid
18:40rzzz.
18:41You're quite right.
18:44I mean, I'm sure if this stuff had been around at the last supper, our Lord himself might have
18:47had a swig.
18:48You know, to keep a clear head for all those difficult questions Pilot was going to ask
18:51him.
18:52What is truth?
18:53Sorry?
18:54Oh, that was the question that Pilot asked.
18:56What is truth?
18:58So he did.
18:59Good old Pilot.
19:01Sort of Magnus Magnusson of Palestine, really, wasn't he?
19:03Yeah.
19:04Name.
19:04Jesus, profession, saviour of mankind.
19:10And for your specialist subject, Jesus, you have chosen catering.
19:15Your first question, how many loaves and fishes does it take to feed 5,000 people?
19:20Pass.
19:22Oh, my God, Alice.
19:23Do you think we're going to be all right?
19:25Oh, of course.
19:26And I'm going to support you all the way.
19:30Well, then, we can't fail, can we?
19:31No.
19:31Oh, I know a lot about tropical fish as well.
19:36Blended.
19:37Blended.
19:39Then we shall be fishes of men.
19:41Yes.
19:41Yes.
19:43I don't know much about them, I'm afraid.
19:46Oh.
19:47Watch and learn, kid.
19:48Oh, watch and learn.
19:51So I have drafted a letter which asks that she should immediately be removed from her new
19:55position.
19:55If you have any objections, if you want our village to become a national laughing stock, or
20:00if you actually believe what most right-thinking Anglicans still think is heresy, do speak
20:06up now.
20:07Oh, terribly sorry I'm late.
20:10Visiting my new parishioners.
20:12Honestly, I think they'd be less surprised if the new vicar would be Mr Blobby.
20:15La-dee-da.
20:18Anyway, challenges, challenges.
20:20Miss anything important?
20:22Uh, well, there is one thing.
20:24We have drafted a letter to the bishop.
20:26Oh, great.
20:26Bertie says all he ever gets are dull circulars, asking him whether or not we should own up
20:30to the fact that most priests are as gay as Larry Hagman.
20:33Do I mean Larry Hagman?
20:35Shall we get on?
20:36Grayson.
20:37That's it.
20:37Grayson.
20:38Shut that door.
20:39It was hilarious, will it?
20:41Um, Frank, as secretary to the council, I think perhaps you should read it.
20:46Well, I'd rather not, thank you, Mr Horton.
20:48Jim.
20:48Right, I'll read it.
20:51Uh, from the Dibley Parish Council.
20:53Sorry I'm late.
20:54This is like the big ride at Alton Towers in my innards.
20:57I'm reading a letter from the council to the bishop.
21:03Right.
21:04My lord, we are very sorry to take up your valuable time, but a very important subject has arisen.
21:10Yes, sorry, it's just a suggestion, but perhaps you could mention his trip to Africa.
21:14You know, something like, welcome back from your triumphant conference.
21:18Put it like that, it'd be patty in your hand.
21:20Thank you very much.
21:21Hugo, another stunning time.
21:25Girls just aren't safe, are they?
21:30Welcome back from your triumphant conference.
21:33Excellent.
21:34Whatever it is you want, he'll never be able to refuse you now.
21:38We are very sorry to take up your valuable time.
21:40Good, good.
21:42But a very important subject has arisen.
21:44As you are aware, your new choice for vicar here has now arrived,
21:48and we must say that we are all deeply unhappy about her.
21:51We firmly believe that she will not fit in with our community at all.
21:55We are profoundly angry that we should be used as an experiment ground
21:59for the more frivolous excesses of the modern church,
22:02and would ask you immediately and urgently to reconsider this disastrous appointment.
22:07And it's signed from the Dibley Parish Council.
22:11Phew.
22:12Well, you certainly know how to wind a girl.
22:21That's all of you, is it?
22:23Yes, it is.
22:25Except me, actually.
22:28As far as I'm concerned, Potty Pottle was a regular old woman.
22:33And if we have to have a lass, I'd much prefer it was a young one.
22:35Particularly, if I may say so, one with such interesting taste in jumpers.
22:41Oh.
22:44My grandma knitted this.
22:45She's blind.
22:49Did we actually vote on it?
22:52No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't know.
22:55Of course we did.
22:56No, I'll just check that.
22:58No, in fact, we seem to have forgotten to vote.
23:04Oh, excellent.
23:06That is good news.
23:07Yes, but we had all agreed.
23:09I hadn't.
23:10Let's have the vote.
23:12I propose we give the reverend a chance.
23:15At least see how she does on Sunday.
23:17Right.
23:19All those in favour of Mr Newart's excellent proposition.
23:23Bravo.
23:24All those against.
23:25Oh, this is ridiculous.
23:30All I can say is that the proof of the pudding will be in the eating.
23:32I think you will find that our little community does not react well to the indignity of a vicar in high heels
23:37and rallies behind me in the desire to keep up the traditions that have made this village
23:42and the Church of England what they are today.
23:46I take it that's a no?
23:48Yes.
23:50God, your father's handsome when he's angry, isn't he?
23:55In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
24:05Amen.
24:05Amen.
24:07I'd like to start by singing Zippa-dee-doo-dah because it is such a thrill to see so many of you here.
24:14But I think we should stick with tradition and sing hymn number 199.
24:18I know a lot of you were surprised to find that your vicar's a woman.
24:31Not as surprised as me.
24:33All the way through my teens, I was convinced that, naturally, I would become a supermodel
24:38and marry either Eric Clapton or David Soule, as you do.
24:42And then one day, I read the Sermon on the Mount.
24:46And it was so fantastic.
24:48That was it.
24:50I decided there and then to abandon the catwalk and give the dog collar a try.
24:54So, here I am, at your service, totally yours, any time, any day.
25:04Although, if you come to see me first thing in the morning, wear dark glasses.
25:08Because before my face falls into place, I look frighteningly like Bernard Manning.
25:13No, it's true, I do, it's scary.
25:16Now, let's sing hymn number 300.
25:18And I always think it sounds best if you shout on the bread of heaven bit.
25:21Bread of heaven, bread of heaven,
25:32Deep in hour nevermore,
25:35Deep in hour nevermore,
25:38Deep in hour nevermore.
25:47Mark's out of ten, Alice.
25:50Seventeen.
25:51Come in.
25:53Oh, Owen, what did you think?
25:56Missed most of it, I'm afraid, otherwise engaged.
25:58Oh, stomach's still bad.
26:00To be frank is like the Battle of the Somme, don't they?
26:02Oh, sorry.
26:03Jim, did you enjoy it?
26:05No, no, no, no, no.
26:06Oh, thanks.
26:07You're welcome.
26:08Well, you'll definitely be staying on now.
26:10Oh, yes, you will.
26:12Fingers crossed.
26:13No, it's a dead cert.
26:14I haven't been more certain of anything since I opened the envelope telling me how many O-levels I'd passed.
26:19And how many did you pass?
26:21None, I'm afraid.
26:22It's the most people we've had in the church since that Lady Godiva thing three years ago.
26:27Oh, what was that?
26:27We were celebrating the summer solstice and we thought it'd be fun to reenact Lady Godiva.
26:31No, no, no, no, no, no, that's my dress.
26:35A lot of people turned up, but unfortunately it was rather disappointing.
26:40Lady Godiva wearing a body stocking?
26:42No.
26:42Oh, she was absolutely stark naked.
26:45Wow.
26:46Well, I hadn't had time to go to the hairdrys and thought I wasn't looking my best.
26:51I bet you were, you saucepot.
27:03All episodes of the Vicar of Dibley are streaming now on BBC iPlayer.
27:12So there's this nun and she's having a bath and a knock comes on the door.
27:33Oh, dear.
27:33Yeah, and she says, who is it?
27:36And the reply comes, it's the blind man.
27:38Can I come in?
27:40She thinks, well, she says, yes, all right, then.
27:42Come in.
27:43So this chap comes in and says, nice tits, where do you want me to hang the blind?
27:53No, no, no, no, no.
28:00Yeah.
28:03Yeah.
28:04I don't know.
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