- 2 months ago
00:00 - Introduction
02:26 - Morgan - Finding Love With Curtis
09:52 - Sydney - Finding Her Identity & Dating
17:38 - Joyce - Discovering She Was Intersex At 14
24:50 - Siera - Dating & Intersex 'Taboo'
32:15 - Jyoti - Dating Without Sex Organs
02:26 - Morgan - Finding Love With Curtis
09:52 - Sydney - Finding Her Identity & Dating
17:38 - Joyce - Discovering She Was Intersex At 14
24:50 - Siera - Dating & Intersex 'Taboo'
32:15 - Jyoti - Dating Without Sex Organs
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I was born an intersex woman, and that is when you're born with female and male parts.
00:08People think sometimes my husband is gay because I'm intersex.
00:13Someone said, that's a man we know, girl go seek help, dude in a dress with a gut.
00:20That was when I was pregnant.
00:22Get ready with me to go on a date with my friend's roommate.
00:26I am Sydney, I'm 24 years old.
00:29I'm a TikToker and an intersex person.
00:32Biological sex is not a binary, and I am living proof of that.
00:37It's going to be nice to go on a date with Syd, based off of what I know of him, but you just never know how these things are going to turn out.
00:46I plan on telling him that I'm intersex, like, pretty quickly, because the longer I wait, the more nervous I get about it.
00:54I was 14 years old when I discovered that I was an intersex person.
00:58I had to do an ultrasound to look at my female reproductive organs, and the doctor told me that he couldn't see anything.
01:05I immediately started crying.
01:07I didn't want to date boys at that point because it's scary to just, like, tell them I was an intersex person.
01:15My current boyfriend.
01:16We've been together a year.
01:18My mother, she was very cautious at the beginning.
01:20She did always know I wanted to have kids, so she was like, are you sure?
01:25I am both male and female.
01:27I have XY chromosomes, but I'm a woman.
01:30At 16 years old, I hadn't started puberty, and so when I went to see the doctor, I learned I was intersex.
01:36When the doctors explained to us that they found no ovaries, it was kind of a shock.
01:43I knew from a young age that I wouldn't be able to have kids, but that didn't really stress me out too much until I started dating.
01:50Today, I'm going on a blind date, and I'm nervous to see what my date will think about me being intersex.
01:56So, is having kids, like, something you see for yourself and your future?
02:01Everyone just assumes I'm female, but there's a little more to that.
02:08The last guy I told about my condition, he said that was, like, a deal breaker.
02:15It can be kind of awkward at first.
02:17I need someone who can, like, converse with, you know?
02:21Yeah.
02:26What are you making, honey?
02:28Chicken and rice.
02:29Oh, yummy.
02:30I'm Morgan Aaliyah.
02:33And I'm Curtis Williams.
02:35People always make the wrong assumptions about our relationship.
02:39They have a lot of opinions, unfair opinions.
02:43We've been on the dating app, and I was at work, and he reached out to me, and I was just so having on break.
02:51And I replied to his message.
02:54We met after work, and we literally just talked all night long.
02:58And he was very polite, just a gentleman, and that's what first attracted me to him.
03:05We met on a Monday.
03:06On a Friday, we were engaged.
03:09I would say we get a lot of love and a lot of hate.
03:14Yeah.
03:15Some people that don't agree with us, but if I was a lover-taker, that's all that matters.
03:23I was born a homophrodite, an intersex woman, and that is when you're born with female and male parts.
03:32I do have ovaries.
03:34I have the same full-on everything, and you can either conceive or you can get someone pregnant.
03:42It's weird, but it's how I was born.
03:48I've come to love it.
03:51Growing up, my mom, she raised me as her son, and it was tough with that because I felt forced.
04:00I felt like I was kind of pretending to be something that I didn't feel.
04:06I just felt more woman.
04:08So she raised me as her son up until I was able to go to college and live on campus.
04:14And that's when I found more of my woman and really just grew as Morgan and Aaliyah.
04:25You can look at some photos.
04:27This is me when I was little.
04:29I think I was like one or two.
04:31Okay.
04:33And that's my mom.
04:37That was me.
04:38School pictures.
04:40The guy that was taking my picture of, I think a blue hair dropped out of his nose, and that's
04:46why I made that.
04:49And that was like my picture for like the next three years.
04:52Growing up, I didn't feel like I really fit in with any, like just anybody, girl or a boy.
04:59And, yeah, it wasn't until I got into my adult years when I was able to go to the doctor on my own
05:08and do more research and learn to embrace my woman and me.
05:13I thought she was a catfish.
05:15And she thought the same thing about me.
05:20Yes.
05:21I thought she pretty.
05:25I got to talk to her.
05:26I didn't think she was going to take us back.
05:29We met for the first time after she told me, right?
05:31Yeah.
05:33And we just talked, got to know each other a little bit more.
05:36I just explained to him my, you know, my body.
05:40I was cool with it.
05:42I'm not judgmental and everything.
05:45And I said, yeah, that's me.
05:48People think that he's attracted to males, but he's not.
05:57He's just okay with me being different and understanding that I do have both parts, that I am more feminine than anything else.
06:08I like this one.
06:10Mm-hmm.
06:11That one.
06:12Yeah.
06:13So a few of the comments that I've received, someone said, that's a man we know.
06:18And someone said, girl, go seek help.
06:22Dude in a dress with a gut.
06:24That was when I was pregnant.
06:27My experience with pregnancy, we found out when we moved to a new city, I was in shock.
06:36We were really excited.
06:38We, you know, we prayed for that baby and we tried to, I'm like, I'm getting emotional.
06:47Sorry.
06:49Um, went to different doctors.
06:52I got turned down at multiple different clinics.
06:56Um, most doctors were like, we can refer you here, but we can't see you.
07:01And to be pregnant and to not get help, to not get checkups, you know, it was just a lot going on.
07:10I was nauseous, had very bad pains, and, um, we did lose our baby.
07:16Um, and, uh, it was just, yeah, it was just a lot to deal with that.
07:27We have our chance again with parenthood.
07:30I guess God was just was not ready for us to be parents.
07:37A lot of people doubted, you know, that I was intersex.
07:41People would say like, oh, those are two men.
07:44A lot of people doubted that we've been together for real.
07:48People have doubted that, um, my pregnancy was fake.
07:52People were saying, oh, she just has a beer belly or how can this be?
07:57My belly did not look the same.
07:59The things I went through weren't the same.
08:02Um, the way the baby was going to be birthed wasn't going to be the same.
08:05I was going to have to get a C-section.
08:07A lot of people have reached out to me, you know, um, telling me that they're also intersex.
08:14And by me speaking up has allowed them to feel heard, allowed them to feel like they matter.
08:20And, like, my story really just helped a lot of people kind of come out the closet with hiding.
08:28Everyone has their own opinion.
08:31There's miserable people in the world and misery loves company.
08:36And we will come a lot.
08:38I feel like it's definitely brought us closer.
08:41We just get stronger and stronger every day.
08:43Yeah.
08:44Ready?
08:45Yes.
08:46Okay, let's ride, Clyde.
08:48I feel like God wanted me to share my experience.
08:53And it opened doors for so many people like me, you know, to know, like, you can get pregnant.
09:00It's possible to have a baby.
09:02I'm glad to be here with my beautiful wife and I enjoy this day with you, baby.
09:05I love you.
09:06I love you, too.
09:07You know, I exist and this is my story, you know.
09:13He makes me feel safe.
09:16He makes me feel happy.
09:18Um, it just makes me feel like I'm here, alive.
09:26We don't want to give up on each other.
09:28If people annoy me or don't like who I'm dating, I only can just annoy them and pray for them.
09:34Oh, there's a spider on you.
09:36Sorry.
09:37Come on, honey.
09:38Smooches.
09:39Mwah.
09:40Gotcha.
09:41To death do us part.
09:44Like, this is gonna work for the rest of our life.
09:48This part.
09:50There's so much that people don't understand about being intersex.
09:56Dating can be difficult.
09:58An ideal date is one where when no one says anything embarrassing, unfortunately, I've had
10:03a lot of dates where people say things that are close-minded.
10:08So any date that doesn't involve something like that is honestly good with me.
10:15Hi.
10:16How are you doing?
10:17I'm good.
10:18How are you?
10:19Good.
10:20Good to see you.
10:21How's it going?
10:22It's going.
10:25Sometimes I am worried about how a date will react when I tell them that I'm intersex.
10:29I think they try to visualize it and they try to reconcile what they see as a woman with
10:35this idea that they've just presented with that I am not.
10:38The main reaction that I get is this pensive look and they just kind of go, huh.
10:43Did Ili tell you that I'm intersex?
10:45She mentioned it a little bit.
10:47Have you heard the word before?
10:49I've heard of it, but I still don't really know too much about it.
10:55It means that I have characteristics that fall outside of the binary.
11:01Like there are some things that aren't either male nor female when it comes to my hormones
11:06and my physical anatomy.
11:08I didn't realize I was intersex until I was 17 years old.
11:12I was raised as a girl.
11:14When I was around 15 years old, I decided to go to the doctor for severe cystic acne.
11:21They were able to measure my hormones thinking that could be a contributing factor.
11:25It was found that I had a heightened level of androgens, or what are sometimes called
11:29male hormones.
11:30And so they prescribed me hormones for my acne to try to make me normal.
11:35That's the very first time that I noticed that my body was different.
11:39When I was 16 turning 17, I realized I didn't have an opening.
11:44When I visited the gynecologist, they didn't really believe me.
11:48But when they finally looked and saw that there truly was no opening there, that it hadn't
11:53developed, then they decided that it was time to do surgery.
11:58And that's what we proceeded with.
12:00It felt like I had a proper body, like I'm getting closer to being the female that I was
12:05intended to be.
12:06But I do wish that the word intersex had been uttered.
12:10I wish I knew why this was happening.
12:12I wish they didn't treat it as an anomaly.
12:17Have you ever had any problems with that, like dating or anything?
12:20No, I think it's pretty new.
12:22I know it's new that I'm being more honest about it.
12:25And that's partially because in the past, I just viewed like my intersex characteristics
12:29as flaws.
12:31It isn't until recently that I'm realizing that I'm okay being honest with people about
12:37what it actually means to be intersex.
12:39Well, that's good.
12:40I hope so.
12:41I think so.
12:42So the date went really well.
12:43I think she's really nice, really cool.
12:45Kind of crazy that she found out about her being intersex at such a late age.
12:51Can't really imagine what that'd be like.
12:54In my early 20s, I made friends in the queer community.
12:57That's when I identified as intersex for the first time.
13:00I had a conversation with a friend who is transgender and they were like, huh, that's kind of like
13:07being transgender.
13:08I knew that that's not who I am.
13:11I don't actually have a transgender experience.
13:14So after hanging out with them, I Googled what it means to have a body with these anatomical
13:21differences.
13:22That's when I learned the word intersex.
13:24Hey, how's it going?
13:29Oh, mom's here too, I guess.
13:31So tell us, how was the date?
13:36How was the date?
13:37How was it?
13:38I think the date was nice.
13:39He exceeded my expectations and being really thoughtful and easy to talk to.
13:43I met Skeeter at Queer Coffee, which we do every week.
13:47Skeeter had seen one of my TikToks, I believe it was, and said,
13:52Hey, Sydney, I didn't know you're intersex.
13:54I'm intersex too.
13:56And we traded stories about our different medical anomalies.
13:59It was so joyous.
14:01I get people being curious.
14:03I find my own condition fascinating.
14:06But there's so much more about me than just like what's going on downstairs.
14:11Call me a girl or a boy.
14:14I don't mind really.
14:15She, he, they, or whatever.
14:16I started my TikTok because I had some thoughts and feelings that I didn't feel like the people
14:24I was around understood.
14:26I decided to create a new community for myself.
14:31That was my idea at least.
14:32And that's exactly what I got.
14:36TikTok has helped a lot too, because I always have a community.
14:38It's easy to have people to talk to.
14:41I think that's great, except it's really scary.
14:45There are so many people out there with different opinions and there's a lot of haters.
14:51And I worry about your safety.
14:53My mom is very anxious about me posting about being intersex.
14:57I didn't know that being intersex was controversial.
15:01I didn't know that people would suddenly be so curious about my body that they would call
15:04me a liar.
15:05I do receive a lot of comments saying that I'm not actually intersex and it did honestly
15:11make me doubt myself in the beginning because I thought, well, am I, am I just extrapolating
15:16here?
15:17Am I reaching?
15:18My mom is very protective of me.
15:20She really just tries to let me know what the world is like so that I can be more protective
15:27of myself and careful of my surroundings.
15:31I think it's amazing that you, you put your vulnerabilities out there.
15:35However, you're my baby.
15:38And if I could put you in an armor suit and protect you, that's what I want.
15:47You're giving me quiver lips.
15:50Sorry.
15:52I just love you so much.
15:55Should I worry?
15:56I care a lot about educating.
16:06That is a big motivator for me.
16:08I hope that my content continues to introduce the concept of, of what it means to be intersex
16:15to people.
16:16I'll see you soon.
16:17Tell me tomorrow.
16:18Okay.
16:19I want them to have a place to go where they know they can get unbiased and accurate information.
16:26Okay, guys, let's go.
16:36I agree with my mom's concerns.
16:37I think there is a danger to speaking out about topics where people tend to be hateful
16:43and ignorant.
16:44But the best way that I can battle the difficulties that I face by being open about who I am is
16:50to continue to educate others.
16:52Good boy.
16:54What Sydney is doing is kind of like showing people and teaching them that like, hey,
16:59this is different and it's okay to be this way.
17:02It takes a lot of guts to just go publicly with this information.
17:06Life has changed tremendously since I began to identify as intersex.
17:12I've been a lot happier with myself because I can understand why my body is the way that
17:18it is.
17:19I wish that people would understand that it's not bizarre to be intersex.
17:23The biological sex is not binary.
17:26It exists on a spectrum that people who are intersex have bodies of all kinds, different
17:31characteristics.
17:32There's no one way to be an intersex person.
17:35I think I was like 11 years old when I started really doing my makeup and that kind of things.
17:44I always really felt like feminine, I think because I also just grew up with the idea that
17:52I was a girl.
17:54I'm Joyce.
17:55I'm 21 years old and I'm an intersex person.
17:58Girls have XX chromosomes.
18:00Boys have XY chromosomes.
18:02I have androgen incitivity syndrome, what basically means that I have XY chromosomes,
18:08but because I'm 100% insensitive to androgens or testosterone, I developed as a woman in the
18:18uterus.
18:19I identify as a female.
18:20I always felt like a female.
18:22So when I got my diagnosis, at first I was a bit struggling with my own identity.
18:27I was like, am I a boy?
18:29Am I a girl?
18:30I was like 14 years old when I discovered that I was an intersex person.
18:34It was of course for all of us a shock because we didn't know what it was.
18:39I have never heard of intersex before.
18:41I was diagnosed and also my parents didn't know what it was.
18:45Is this me?
18:46Yeah.
18:47Yeah.
18:48And how old was I here?
18:51Seven.
18:52Yeah.
18:53And at this age, I think I was also really tall already, right?
18:58Yes.
18:59You were always tall.
19:00When I was younger, I went to the pediatrician regularly to get a checkup on how tall I was
19:07growing.
19:08I also had really a lot of pain in my back because I was growing so much and I always was
19:14really, really tired.
19:15I always thought there was something happening, but I didn't know what it was.
19:20I went to the pediatrician with my mom for just checkup.
19:24And then they discovered that my hormone levels were really high.
19:29I needed to do an ultrasound to look at my female reproductive organs.
19:35And the doctor told me when he was doing the ultrasound that he couldn't see anything.
19:39So that was like a really big shock to me.
19:41And I immediately started crying and had an awful day that I will always remember.
19:47I think just afterwards, my diagnosis, that was just the most confusing and negative time.
19:55At the beginning, we were worried because we didn't know what intersexer was.
20:02And we heard, you can't have children of your own and you are so good with children.
20:10So, yeah, we were worried about that.
20:13At that time, I was in the middle of puberty and really finding out who I was as a person.
20:18So when I got my diagnosis, it was kind of difficult for me.
20:22It was just a really hard time for all of us, but I have an amazing family.
20:28And they were just really accepting and helping me also with all of the things that I went through at such a young age.
20:37You know, there are good days and there are bad days.
20:40Of course, but that's the funny thing with intersex.
20:43You can't accept yourself, but you always will have like part of your life that it is harder that you have a diagnosis.
20:51Because I see friends of mine that are going to get pregnant and will have children and I will be not able to have those kind of things.
21:01Sometimes it will hurt a little bit more.
21:03Yes, I understand.
21:05That's why I'm so proud of you.
21:07Because you've been stronger.
21:10A strong woman now.
21:11About this.
21:13I thought it was nice.
21:15Thanks to you, Diana.
21:17Hey!
21:18My current boyfriend I met on a dating app.
21:22Been together a year.
21:24In the middle of puberty, I saw a lot of my friends started dating boys and I was just somewhere else with my head.
21:32I didn't want to date boys at that point.
21:35It was really scary to just like tell them I was an intersex person.
21:39But then I started to put that all on my social media.
21:42So I never had to like tell them face to face.
21:46So that was always like a really safe place for me to just keep the distance a little bit.
21:57Let's go take the dogs for a block.
22:00I know he told a friend of his that he was matched with me on Tinder and that I'm an intersex person.
22:08And he was like, do you think I should go on a date with her?
22:13But then the friend told him like, of course, just go on a date with her.
22:16You don't know what's gonna happen and maybe you really like her.
22:19Before you meet with some people, you go look them up online and you go and you try to find something about them.
22:27And it happened to be when I Googled Joyce.
22:31But it's not something that held me back.
22:33I was planning on telling my parents.
22:35My sister is also a very nosy person just like me.
22:38And she was looking up Joyce and my mother Googled her as well.
22:43So they found out through that way.
22:44They were like, hey, is there anything you want to tell us?
22:47And I was like, not particularly.
22:49It's not like I'm ashamed or anything, but it's just like how it's quite a delicate subject sometimes.
22:54Like how do I introduce it properly without like a stigma or anything around it?
22:58So of course me and Gus can't have children of our own in the future because I don't have any female reproductive organs.
23:06But yeah, I still have a big wish to maybe be a mom in the future.
23:11So we discussed that maybe we can adopt or have children to surrogacy.
23:16My mother, she was very cautious at the beginning.
23:19She didn't always know I wanted to have kids and so I'm quite a family person.
23:24And so she was like, are you sure?
23:27Just being a cautious parent, just warning me like, hey, have you really thought well and clear about it?
23:34But the most important thing is that you also become a parent with someone who you truly love and share a special bond with.
23:40So yeah, that's Joyce for me.
23:42Intersex is always being a really big taboo.
23:46I would wish that all the people knew about what intersex just basically is.
23:54So that other people that are diagnosed as an intersex person, they would see that it wasn't just really a big thing to be intersex.
24:03I think the main reason for the stigma is people just do not understand what it entails.
24:08And if people do start to understand what it entails, it will lead to so much less confusion and maybe to perhaps more acceptance.
24:18Our relationships like any other, it's not different from previous ones I've had.
24:21But it is possible to have a normal, meaningful relationship with someone who's intersex.
24:27A lot of people still feel ashamed about being intersex because there wasn't being spoken about.
24:35So there are a lot of intersex persons that don't want to tell their story.
24:40So I hope my story reaches them and they see you can just talk about it and it's fine to just be who you are.
24:48This is basically how I get my estrogen.
24:53It's just a standard birth control pill that I take.
24:57I actually get four packs each time I get it so that I just get a period every three months.
25:05Basically with my condition, I'm pretty much in menopause if I don't take it.
25:10Growing up, people didn't know I was intersex because externally the doctors considered me a girl.
25:18By the time I was 16, I hadn't gotten a period or started going through puberty.
25:23And so we had to go to my pediatrician to kind of see what was going on.
25:28They saw that I had a uterus, but it was really small because it wasn't developing.
25:33And where my ovaries should have been, they weren't developing as well.
25:37And so that's why I wasn't getting any estrogen that would trigger that puberty.
25:43It was really awkward because everybody has already gone through puberty.
25:46And I'm like buying my first bras in late high school and just learning how to use tampons and pads.
25:54I definitely felt a little different.
25:56I feel like, why am I younger than everyone else physically?
26:00Like, why have I not matured in that way?
26:03And it was just weird.
26:05I feel like starting out, to me, intersex meant this is taboo.
26:11I don't want to tell anyone about it.
26:14I just had a lot of anxiety around it.
26:17In the past couple of years, I feel like it was kind of exciting because it just made sense.
26:22Like, oh, I'm not just this or that.
26:25I'm different.
26:26And that was okay with me.
26:28Looking in the mirror now, I feel like I've definitely come into my own.
26:33I'm still growing, but like overall, I just feel more confident in myself.
26:41Since openly identifying as intersex, it's something I'm really proud of.
26:45Hey.
26:46How's it going?
26:47Good.
26:48How about you?
26:49Good.
26:50I am six feet tall.
26:51I wear size 11 shoes.
26:53I can palm a women's basketball.
26:55It kind of just reshaped my view of all things gender and how that's looked at in society.
27:01So basically, I want to create like a wildlife habitat for all the butterflies.
27:07I'm creating a space where all of these butterflies can transform and come into their own, which is kind of similar to me.
27:14Like I have to take my hormones, my estrogen in order to go through puberty and like just become a full blown adult.
27:21These tiny little ones are the aster.
27:23My mom supported me through the whole process by being the one who's taken me to my doctor's appointment, my surgeries, caring for me in the aftermath of those surgeries.
27:33She's always been there for me.
27:35When the doctors explained to us that they found no ovaries, it was kind of a shock.
27:41And then the first thing that you said before I could even kind of put everything together or think about it, you said,
27:48Oh, gosh, I guess I'm just not going to be able to have babies for you to be that age.
27:52And that's the first thing for you to think about.
27:54That's kind of heartbreaking.
27:56You know, I knew from a young age that I wouldn't be able to have kids.
28:00I'm sad for my mom not being able to have like grandchildren for me, but it didn't really stress me out too much until I started dating later in college.
28:09When I was still dating men, I would worry about telling the person and if it would impact how they felt about me,
28:16if they would want to continue pursuing a relationship with me, just based on the fact that I can't have kids naturally.
28:23It's definitely changed a lot now that I'm dating women.
28:26I can be open about it and feel comfortable with it.
28:29So I'm going on a blind date today.
28:31I want to see if you can help me pick out my outfit.
28:35When I go on dates with people and I let them know about me being intersex, I would hope that they are just open minded and curious.
28:44And hopefully that's something that wouldn't inhibit them from wanting to continue to get to know me.
28:50This top white jacket. Okay, cute.
28:54So how do you think they'll feel once you explain that you're intersex?
29:00I feel like they're already dating women, so they're a little more open minded than the average person.
29:06What Sierra is actually searching for is love and a person that is like her kind hearted and compassionate.
29:14As she's developed into a young adult, I feel like she's also learning more about her intersex and she's wanting other people to listen.
29:24Well, look at you! Oh my gosh, you look so good!
29:30I hope that she finds the person to be interesting and open to listening and being positive with Sierra.
29:39Have fun! Thank you! Good luck!
29:43Yep, I'll see you in a little bit. Have fun!
29:45I definitely get nervous about blind dates. I get nervous about dates in general.
29:50Especially with women. I'm scared. They're beautiful.
29:54Can I do like a mosquito? I'll do a marg.
30:06Oh, that sounds good actually. That's it. You can try mine.
30:10Were you nervous about today? Perfect. So am I. I still am.
30:15Have you been on a blind date before? I've never been on a blind date before.
30:18Okay. Me either. I'm pleased.
30:22I don't feel like I've gotten too many questions from dates about being intersex because I feel like most of the time people don't really even know what to ask.
30:32I don't necessarily feel obligated to tell people right away, but I'm definitely open to bringing it up naturally if it comes up.
30:41How has dating been for you? It's been alright.
30:44I've only had like one longer term relationship like with women wise because I figured out I was into women pretty late in life.
30:53It was kind of like this overall journey I was going on because I also learned that I was intersex at a later age.
31:01I don't know if you've heard of that before. I have, but I haven't met anyone that's intersex.
31:06I was 16 when I first realized like I couldn't have kids and stuff, but I was going to ask that too.
31:11Is having kids like something you see for yourself in your future?
31:14I've been pretty unsure about it. Sometimes I'm leaning towards no and then other times I'm like, oh, I think it would be cool to be, have a family.
31:23What about you?
31:24I'm the same.
31:25Are you? Yeah.
31:26Yeah. I think a family sounds cute.
31:27So how do you feel about like dating an intersex person? Like, does it make you feel weird or put you off or like, do you think you're comfortable with something like that?
31:35I don't think it puts me off at all. I would definitely be interested in dating someone that's intersex. I don't think it's a big deal.
31:44I think the day went really well. She was really nice and chill. I felt like we had a good conversation.
31:48I definitely would be open to dating intersex people in the future. Like, I think it's just something that makes them unique, but I think we're, we're going to have a second date. Yeah.
31:57I think if people understood intersex more, I feel like people would be more understanding and realize it's just who we are. Biological sex isn't binary and I'm living proof of that. And I'm proud of who I am.
32:15I'm Joe Teak. I am 18 years old. I just graduated from high school. I'm going to a community college in the fall. I was born with a condition called intersex.
32:26I define that as not having the typical binary sex organs or parts. In my case, it means that I don't have any internal or external sex organs. It also means I won't be able to have my own biological children since I don't have like a vaginal opening.
32:51I don't have either ovaries or testes. I was born in Calcutta, India, and I was adopted by Sue and Patrick when I was about three and a half.
33:11If you're going to be renters, they take good care of the property.
33:16Hi. Hi.
33:18Hi.
33:19Oh, hell.
33:21I'll go by the house.
33:23We hope.
33:26She was delivered to us in an email.
33:28Yeah.
33:29We had been attempting to adopt for probably two years.
33:33I looked at that email. I read it over again and I thought, that's our kid. That's our baby.
33:39I've always seen myself as a girl, as female. And so it wasn't really like a question of who or what I was. It was more of like, what am I going to do for myself in the future? And that's kind of like where we are now.
33:58It says, I have the vocabulary of a well-educated sailor. I like to have some creamer in my coffee, but it has to be sugar-free because of my diabetes.
34:18In July, I'm having a reconstructive surgery to create a vaginal opening and the vaginal canal.
34:28You might not want to see this.
34:30Eating?
34:31Yeah.
34:32Why?
34:33Because I'm a messy eater sometimes.
34:36I decided to do the surgery mainly because as I get older, I want to have a more typical female sex life.
34:46I know that it's going to be a long surgery and there's a long time of recovery.
34:53My hope is she's going to feel more complete as a person she identifies as, as a woman.
34:59Um, and that it will make it easier to date.
35:05So, what are your options?
35:07Well, I could always just do choice or not like a name.
35:12You could.
35:13So, if I'm pursuing a relationship with a heterosexual male, there's the assumption that I have, like, all the typical parts.
35:24Isn't that a beautiful color on her?
35:26I'm just worried about looking too full because we're going to Main Street Bar and Grill.
35:32I have to explain it and I want to be upfront about it.
35:41I'm going to try my other option.
35:43I'm going on a date with Johnny who I met on the app OkCupid.
35:55We have a lot of the same kind of beliefs and the same point of view, I guess.
36:00He's also kind of nerdy. I can be kind of nerdy too.
36:05So, are you feeling nervous?
36:07A little.
36:10Mostly because I haven't actually met him yet.
36:15He sounds like just a good person, a mature person with very similar interests and values to hers.
36:22So, I'm trusting and I'm trusting Joe's judgment too.
36:31We've texted a bunch. We've talked on the phone.
36:34He knows about my condition.
36:39I've probably worried to excess about whether or not this guy will back out.
36:42I'm really glad that you said yes to this because I was kind of worried.
37:07The last guy I went out with actually said that it was a deal breaker, my condition.
37:21Oh, that's right.
37:25Reorganize a little.
37:29I try to watch TV, but my internet's been out all day.
37:32Oh, no.
37:33I watch superhero stuff, things like that, anime.
37:39Yeah.
37:40I wait for a show to release and then I'll just binge all of it.
37:42Yeah.
37:43Yeah, and also, here's the thing, a lot of the...
37:46We had a lot in common. In fact, we talked more than we ate, actually.
37:54And when she told me about her condition, I thought, well, that's cool, that's different.
37:59But I wanted to get to know her as a person.
38:04Oh, that question really got me.
38:06It was a little awkward at first, but I think, yeah, she seemed really cool and I liked her.
38:15So, I had a really good time.
38:17Me too.
38:19And I'm not lying about this.
38:21Yeah.
38:23Yeah, this was good.
38:24Yeah.
38:25Yeah.
38:26Would you like to go out again?
38:29Yeah, I would.
38:31Yeah.
38:33The first time I met Joe, I knew within about 30 seconds that I had just come into contact
38:38with probably the most determined, strong, feisty little personality I would probably ever meet in my life.
38:44The subsequent 15 years have not proven that wrong.
38:47As much as it scares me to have this surgery because it is such a big operation, I'm also excited for it.
39:00Because I know this is something I definitely want to do.
39:17as the
39:21My vision shop, which leads me to all the other partners, add some qualities to weight.
39:27How's the original intentions mean for me to be a person who's meant for you?
39:30How's the original mistake for me to work?
39:32That will help you with a musician in my life.
39:35Half-caparp led my experience withwarmié heart.
39:37Well, I've taken care of it, Adam.
39:39The last thing I got here is that it comes out.
39:40You have to work that yourself.
39:41It's going to go in long and walk out, I believe in more and walk out.
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