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01:57I'll bet.
01:58Tell me about the spirit world, Linda.
02:03It's so funny how life and karma have a way of setting us on the most unexpected paths.
02:10After Doug dropped me on the beach in Cuba, I spent days wandering banana plantations vacated
02:16by the oppressor after La Revolution.
02:19But then I fell in with a fabulous community of locals who took me in with open arms.
02:29And that's when I saw him.
02:34Choi Guevara.
02:37That's right.
02:38Half brother to Che.
02:44See you, kids.
02:51Choi.
02:52Linda.
02:54Would you like to have sex?
02:57It would be an honor.
03:00Is it fate?
03:04Karma?
03:05Mad timing?
03:07Who can say?
03:09But, Maxine, I'm in love.
03:12He's taking me to the most amazing places.
03:15First stop, the Amazon.
03:18Where we joined a group of native women fending off the destruction of their beloved rainforest.
03:24My life has such purpose, Maxine!
03:27We must not rest.
03:29The Rollins fortune can at last be used to reverse suffering instead of creating it.
03:35A courier will come to you.
03:37Maxine, on Thursday the 17th, he will use the code words, banana slug.
03:43Give him $100,000 cash.
03:44Off to spread literacy to the Sierras Chicas.
03:49Bye!
03:51Is Linda's alive?
03:54This thing is just a radio.
03:57Oh, shit!
03:58She's right, man.
03:59It's beautiful.
04:01But what the hell is the big deal?
04:04It's supposed to experience you.
04:06Kind of a fresh date, huh?
04:08Yeah.
04:10Oh, I've got popcorn in my teeth.
04:16Now there's some in my food trap.
04:19Sorry, it's the darndest thing.
04:20Positively, unseemly.
04:21Now I've got a lot of butter and salt rolling around in my mouth and on my tongue, and you understand.
04:26I can deal with a little butter and salt.
04:28No, no, no, I...
04:29I can't kiss you on the first date.
04:31I raised the magic number.
04:34But...
04:35I want you to know that I...
04:37I do like you.
04:39I like you, too.
04:40You know Marjorie Merriweather posted some square dance at her place tonight.
04:44You wanna go?
04:45Two dates in one day?
04:47Well...
04:49Robert said I could find you here.
04:51Possibly ill flagrante.
04:53We are not ill, whatever you said.
04:55We're not doing anything.
04:56Scouts are.
04:58I have a missive from the shortwave.
05:03Linda needs $100,000.
05:06What?
05:08Shoot.
05:15Robert?
05:17Listen, I am running ever so late to go with Evelyn to buy the Pomeriel.
05:22And I need a $100,000 Delacorte check written out to cash for Linda.
05:26Why don't you take the money for Linda from the Rollins estate?
05:28I can't take that money because it is frozen.
05:31Thanks to me.
05:32And if Evelyn ever finds that out, she'll skin me like a cat.
05:34But, Maxine, we went through this already.
05:35Norma was not Norma, so the house nor the money was hers to give me.
05:39It's all Douglas's.
05:40Half of which I am entitled to.
05:43I'm not just asking for a little upfront.
05:44Take it out with Douglas.
05:45I can't.
05:46Tell him.
05:47He'll give the whole kid and caboodle a pinky.
05:49Yeah.
05:51The answer is no, Maxine.
05:56Why are all these paintings off the wall?
05:58According to the will, Norma wanted me to send these paintings to the Delacorte Hall in Switzerland.
06:03So nice of you to do a favor for Norma and not do a favor for Maxine.
06:10Oh, and I think you mean the fake Norma because the real Norma is a teenage skeleton in a European graveyard somewhere.
06:18I love you, Maxine.
06:20I love you, too.
06:21There's six million dollars in gold. Half is mine, half is the estate, a.k.a. you.
06:31Perfecto.
06:32They say gold is the easiest to hock.
06:34Why would you need to hock anything?
06:36I don't need to.
06:37I'm just saying if the estate were ever to need any, uh, something.
06:40You know.
06:41Maxine, am I worried?
06:44Golly gee, no.
06:45I'm just, uh, I'm thinking about the future.
06:47No.
06:48Anyway, the fire sale price of the bomb is three mils, so we each throw in half of our house,
06:53which, after purchase, leaves us each with 1.5.
06:56Clear?
06:57Very clear.
06:58Okay.
06:59Let's go get it, partner.
07:00Sidonius?
07:01We have all three signatures for you.
07:06This is David Sahls.
07:08We've got Donna Hughes.
07:11Mm-hmm.
07:12And, of course, this is the Delacorte's.
07:16Fantastic.
07:17Where's the money?
07:19Ta-da!
07:20Oh, my God!
07:21I know.
07:22Do you mean to say that you are paying with gold?
07:26As a matter of fact, we are.
07:27No, no.
07:28Look at this.
07:29What?
07:30It has a serial number.
07:31So what?
07:32It's trackable.
07:33I cannot accept trackable gold as payment for anything.
07:35Why not?
07:36Thanks to the Whitby's.
07:37The Whitby's, who ruined gold for all of us.
07:39It's a serial number.
07:40So what?
07:41It's trackable.
07:42I cannot accept trackable gold as payment for anything.
07:43Why not?
07:44The Whitby's, who ruined gold for all of Palm Beach.
07:46Oh!
07:47The Yacht Club.
07:48Yacht Club?
07:49What Yacht Club?
07:50The Yacht Club.
07:51I'll tell you later.
07:52Until they noticed that every single bar was stamped with the Nazi eagle.
07:57Created a cascade of bruised feelings that ricocheted all the way up to the Fed.
08:01And now, they're considering taking America off the gold standard altogether, all thanks to the Whitby's.
08:08So this isn't hockable?
08:09So this isn't hockable?
08:10No, it's not hockable.
08:12Cash or the deal is off.
08:13Did you even know gold was no good in Palm Beach?
08:16Yes, I knew.
08:17I just wasted our time for nothing.
08:18I'm sorry.
08:19I just love blaming you for everything.
08:20Oh, if it was last season, I'd just ransack the Delacourts, grab 20 or 30 stone Mables and sell them.
08:27What if we go to the Rollins Mance? I bet it's full of old keygalls worth way more than a ton of gold.
08:40That's not a bad idea.
08:42Yeah.
08:43Too bad it's all under lock and key.
08:46Well, half tunnel, we'll travel.
08:49Vaccine, sometimes, I must admit, you're good.
08:59Easy does it, easy does it.
09:00Nope, nope, nope.
09:01You're not pushing hard enough.
09:02We have to push the same.
09:03I'm sorry.
09:04You push it yourself and see how hard it is.
09:05I bet you don't get anywhere.
09:06Oh, watch this.
09:07All right, okay.
09:08You are freakishly strong.
09:10Oh, dick.
09:19So juicy and delicious.
09:26I love it.
09:28Huge.
09:29You are so dirty, dick.
09:34Oh, my God, stop it.
09:37No, you say goodbye first.
09:40Okay.
09:41Bye-bye.
09:42Dick Nixon, hero, American warlord.
09:49Did he ask about me at all?
09:53As a matter of fact, he did.
09:59He loves you running for mayor.
10:02But he's one-upped me, and this is why he's president, Perry.
10:07He wants you to run as a Democrat.
10:12I rebuke this.
10:13Seeing as I'm officially the biggest Democratic donor in Palm Beach, thanks to Axel, he wants
10:19me to line up a whole slate of Democratic losers so Republicans can run the table come
10:26the election.
10:27Starting with you, Pear.
10:29Isn't that brilliant?
10:31You announce tonight at Marjorie Merriweather Post Square Dance, all the candidates for mayor
10:39will be there.
10:42So I have to stand up in front of everyone and pretend to be a Democrat?
10:47Yeah.
10:48Uh, sorry.
10:50Has anyone seen Douglas?
10:52Well, honey, I assumed he was with you.
10:54And I assumed he was with him.
10:55And I assumed he was doing Doug stuff.
10:57When was the last time you saw him?
10:58He wasn't on the couch when I woke up this morning.
11:01Well, maybe if you let him sleep in the same bed, you could keep him at home.
11:04He's been talking nonstop about Pinky getting him.
11:06Do you think he got gotten?
11:07I am sure he did not get gotten.
11:09You know what helps in a moment like this is a friendly, long-lasting, carry-it-in-your-pocket-all-day-long hug.
11:16Mitzi doesn't need a hug, Perry.
11:18Here's what we're gonna do.
11:19We'll stop by Pinky and Raquel's to confirm he hasn't got gotten before getting ready for
11:23the big square dance, okay?
11:25One hug, huh?
11:27Honey, nobody wants any hugs.
11:39Hi.
11:40Here to see Raquel.
11:42Maximo, connect.
11:43Where?
11:48Dinah.
11:50Hi.
11:51I wasn't expecting company.
11:53I'm in the middle of something.
11:56Something as in...
12:00Pinky and I were preparing to host.
12:03Do you have a sec for a chat?
12:05So what are you in your second trimester?
12:08Did you see that guy?
12:10He had the look of a killer in his eye.
12:12Yeah.
12:13Some of your ankles started swelling or...
12:16You don't think they're actually gonna like kill him, right?
12:19Is he kicking you?
12:20Help me!
12:21Sorry for the drop-in.
12:22The reason for my calling was to make sure that you and Pinky were attending the square dance
12:35at Matchpost's place.
12:37Mayor Barnhill really could use your support.
12:39I thought you were a Democrat now.
12:41I may suddenly be the one running the Palm Beach Democratic machine, but Dick Nixon himself
12:47has charged me with running losing candidates so we can have a GOP sweep.
12:51That's good.
12:52Mm-hmm.
12:53Well, I'm doing it for Dick.
12:54What some women won't do.
13:01What was that?
13:02What was what?
13:05That.
13:06What was that?
13:07What was that?
13:08What the fuck?
13:09He tried to escape again.
13:10If he escaped, Pinky is going to cut his tongue.
13:15He's the most intelligent than it seems.
13:17You can't believe it.
13:18He masticated the soga completely.
13:20Give him enough food for two days and leave the door closed.
13:23And when you're going to do it, finally, make sure to die quickly.
13:28The grids will call the attention.
13:31Thank you, love.
13:32There you go.
13:33Thank you, love.
13:35Oh, gosh.
13:36Did you speak Spanish?
13:38No.
13:39I just repeated what you said.
13:41I have a great ear.
13:43You know what?
13:44I don't have a lot of...
13:45I don't have a lot of time right now.
13:46Of course.
13:47So I'm gonna...
13:48Sure.
13:49Go.
13:50Okay.
13:51Don't...
13:52You...
13:53Just stay.
13:54Thanks a lot, Raquel.
13:59Here you have him.
14:00Here you have him.
14:02I could hear him thrashing around.
14:05And they were talking about killing him in Spanish.
14:07But they didn't know that I learned a lot of Spanish from...
14:09From Eddie.
14:10From my gap here in Ibiza, if you must know, Perry.
14:13Am I to be a widow?
14:14No.
14:15We have a little time.
14:16They're not going to do it tonight.
14:17Because they're going to the big square dance at Marjorie and Meriwether Post.
14:20How cold-blooded!
14:21It would be more cold-blooded if they slit his throat and then went to the square dance.
14:25True.
14:26We have to go to the police!
14:27No police, Mitzi.
14:28No police!
14:29Then the FBI!
14:30No FBI!
14:31No FBI either.
14:32Perry, who are you?
14:33The second that we go to the police, the Duxer's a dead man.
14:37No, we're going to go to that square dance.
14:39And you're going to use your feminine wiles with Pinky.
14:43What does that mean?
14:45It means you're going to improvise.
14:47Exactly.
14:48The Duxer's life is on the line.
14:51Now, if anyone in this car, Mitzi, needs a hug, just let me know.
15:00Perry, drive.
15:04Being in business with you is just an absolute delight.
15:07Oh, keep your pants on.
15:09Though, just let's do go in and out real quick.
15:13Like cat burglars.
15:14What's your rush?
15:15That stuff's not going anywhere.
15:17I might have a little thingy dinner thing.
15:20You have a date?
15:21Who ever with?
15:22Palm Beach's finest lawyer slash gynecologist, Dr. Dusty Magic.
15:26And I'm going to need eight hours to get ready and a jar of mayonnaise.
15:29Second date.
15:30Oh, Maxine, second date.
15:32What a conundrum.
15:33Conundrum?
15:34Well, I don't really see it as that.
15:36Look, it's just practice.
15:37You know, just get back in the swing of things.
15:39Maxine, Dr. Dusty is doing perfectly fine, but he's not doing Palm Beach fine.
15:43He works for a living.
15:45So, yes, practice.
15:46Meaning, you know, an opportunity to brush up the cobwebs.
15:51Truthfully, darling, how long has it been?
15:54I think it's been quite some time.
15:59Well, hence the conundrum.
16:01Polite girls wait until three, but sometimes after two, you're ready to give your all.
16:06Well, I'm sure I don't know anything about all that.
16:09You see, well, it's kind of embarrassing.
16:13What?
16:14I've only ever been with Douglas.
16:17You mean to say you've only had...
16:21Oh.
16:23You know.
16:26What's that?
16:27Ben Dick.
16:28What do you mean, Ben Dick?
16:30I had on rather good authority that Douglas' ballpark Frank rounds into home.
16:35Oh.
16:36Not that it's any of your business, but it...
16:41But it is...
16:44A bit letter J in scope and demeanor.
16:47I love it when a rumor goes right.
16:49Are you saying they're not all like that?
16:52Oh.
16:53Most of them, Maxine, are as straight as Saturn rockets.
16:56Like a pencil?
16:57Mm-hmm.
16:58But thicker.
16:59Well, how do you know, anyway, about Douglas' Douglas?
17:02That's a very well-known story.
17:04Long ago and far away, Douglas and Perry and their other dumb-dumb stag brothers
17:09were playing the time immemorial bachelor party game Brick on a Dick.
17:13Oh.
17:14Just like it sounds.
17:15Apparently, Douglas worked his way up to Cinderblock.
17:17Suffice to say, poor Skeet had to run him to the emergency room and the rest is history.
17:22Gee, I wonder if that's why I've got kidney problems.
17:25Oh, good God.
17:34Oh, good God.
17:40Oh!
17:41Oh!
17:42Oh!
17:43Oh!
17:44Oh!
17:45Oh!
17:46Oh!
17:47Oh!
17:48Oh!
17:49Oh!
17:50Oh!
17:51Oh!
17:52Oh!
17:53Oh!
17:54Oh!
17:55Oh!
17:56Oh my!
17:57Oh!
17:58Oh!
17:59Oh!
18:01Oh!
18:02Oh!
18:03Oh my!
18:06Oh!
18:08Where's all my shit!?
18:10It must have been the fans.
18:11I thought they were going to raise my assets, not input.
18:12Oh!
18:13Oh!
18:14my assets not impound everything.
18:17Those motherfuckers even took my birds,
18:20not a feather of which belonged to Linda.
18:24Oh, look, Evelyn, look, it's an accounting.
18:29Oh, this is disgusting.
18:31Literally every single thing.
18:34They even catalog my old pasties,
18:36left and right nipples separately.
18:39Oh, Evelyn, look, a receipt.
18:42$5,000.
18:45And nothing left to hawk.
18:49What do we do?
18:55Hello.
19:01What are you doing?
19:08I was just reading a little bit.
19:09All the guys are going to Ronald's bachelor party tonight.
19:13I'm the only one on duty.
19:15It might not be the most romantic environment,
19:19but I did bring a picnic dinner for two,
19:23if you're interested.
19:25if you're interested.
19:26I'd love that.
19:27Robert!
19:28Robert!
19:29I see you in a shot.
19:30All right, bye.
19:31Robert!
19:32Yes?
19:33We got to sell those paintings.
19:35But they've been shipped.
19:36Unship them?
19:37They've been shipped.
19:38Bratzel Freckle.
19:40Okay, just give me a minute.
19:44Curious, how much money is in the Delacorte accounts anyway?
19:56I'm not telling.
19:58Are you still struggling?
20:00Mm-hmm.
20:01Please.
20:02And yes.
20:04A whole bunch.
20:06A whole bunch?
20:08You've been holding out on me.
20:10How's this?
20:14You write me a check for a whole bunch of money.
20:18I write you and I owe you.
20:20I take the Rollins gold, turn it into cash, and pay you back.
20:24It's called a bridge loan, and I know about this
20:26because I am now an international woman of business.
20:28But that's not gonna happen, Maxine.
20:30You decided not to tell Douglas, and I agreed,
20:33because he works for the best.
20:35How can you remain so calm in all this?
20:39Because I'm off to fuck an FBI agent.
20:43Bye-bye.
20:45Selfish!
20:49Psst.
20:51Maxine!
20:53I have another missive from the airwaves.
20:57But sadly, no bootlegger.
21:01The monsoon washed away everything.
21:07Up the amount to 200,000.
21:11And remember, Maxine, banana slug.
21:15The children of the Sierras Chicas are depending on you.
21:19I can't believe you got all that on this teeny tiny little card.
21:24Katherine Gibbs, Secretarial School.
21:26Get in the door.
21:30Hello?
21:38Hello.
21:39Hi.
21:40Hi.
21:41You've got quite a place here.
21:43Oh, well, it's not really mine.
21:46I mean, technically, not yet.
21:48I don't know.
21:50Oh, you forgot about our second date.
21:52Oh, gosh, no.
21:53Oh, gosh.
21:54It's practically all I've been thinking about.
21:56Here's the thing.
21:57I'm so sorry.
21:58I do have to cancel.
22:00You mind telling me why?
22:02There's an emergency.
22:03Two emergencies that I have to deal with now, tonight.
22:06First things first, these flowers are sagging faster than tits on a bull in the Sahara.
22:10Oh, no.
22:11That's terrible.
22:12Base?
22:13Water?
22:14There.
22:15In the bar.
22:16To the left.
22:17Around the wall.
22:18Wow.
22:19How many bathrooms do you have here?
22:20Many.
22:21Oh.
22:22They're all flushable?
22:24Oh.
22:26Oh.
22:27Look at you.
22:28Second thing second.
22:30I think you haven't dated anyone besides your husband in 20 years, and you're exhibiting
22:35classic avoidance anxiety.
22:37Oh.
22:38Yeah, see, the reason why my gynecological practice is so successful is this is bolstered
22:42by a secondary doctorate in psychology.
22:45Secondary doctorate?
22:46Yeah, I'm what you call an HMI.
22:50Highly motivated individual.
22:52Now, why don't we go on date two, followed up by a square dance at Marjory Post's place,
22:56and you can tell me all about these emergencies.
22:57See, there's something I can't really tell you, because it concerns...
23:02Oh.
23:03Wait.
23:04Oh, I guess I can tell you about my situation with Linda, because you're my lawyer, and
23:09we've got attorney-client privilege.
23:11Bingo.
23:12And I can tell you about my international woman of business troubles with Evelyn.
23:15Fix your drink?
23:16Yes, please.
23:18Oh.
23:19So, Evelyn and I need three million to cement the purchase of the Palm Royale.
23:24Now, tonight.
23:25And Linda, she's spearheading an, oh, urgent literary intervention in the jungle.
23:30It needs two hundred thousand dollars.
23:32Also, now, tonight.
23:33Why?
23:34And, well, the remains of the Rollins Estates, they're in gold bars, which are unusable,
23:38because the Whitby's ruined gold in Palm Beach, thanks to the Nazis.
23:42Oh.
23:43So, as you can see, I really can't go on our date.
23:47Oh, well, au contraire.
23:49Our date, your lady, is now imperative.
23:52Imperative?
23:53Why?
23:54Who do you think wound up buying the Whitby's Nazi gold?
23:57Who?
23:58None other than Marjorie.
24:00Merriweather.
24:02Post.
24:03All that shit was priceless!
24:08Does nobody know the worth of anything anymore?
24:11The entire parlor was Chippendale.
24:13Maybe this is an opportunity.
24:14Oh, where's the opportunity in having your entire life confiscated?
24:18It's as if I never even existed!
24:20It's also a brand new slate.
24:22Well, it's easy for you to say.
24:23You've never been told that your entire life only adds up to five thousand dollars.
24:28No.
24:29But my family and I were hustled onto a boat at midnight with just the shirts on our backs
24:34to escape the most beautiful prison on earth and avoid execution.
24:38It's not very fair of you, Eddie, to hold a trump card like that when I'm in chaos.
24:43It's what happened.
24:45And I appreciate the perspective.
24:47Still, there's one thing I wish I could have retained.
24:52Skeet had it made for me.
24:54A gold statue of myself in my heyday as a showgirl.
24:59I've always loved that piece.
25:01Anyway.
25:03I guess our dream has been dashed.
25:06That'll teach me for having ambition.
25:08What a fool!
25:09And I was so looking forward to seeing everybody's faces when they realized they'd underestimated
25:14the tennis pro.
25:15Where are you going?
25:23To make a drink.
25:24For you.
25:25What's wrong?
25:36It was just a passing thought.
25:38Think nothing of it.
25:40Evelyn?
25:42It was just a little flash of irrationality that you were leaving me.
25:49Why would you jump to that?
25:52Because I've just disappointed you.
25:58Forgive my knee-jerk alarm.
26:00It's been a day.
26:01It's been a life for that matter.
26:03It's been a life for that matter.
26:15Corazon.
26:17Si.
26:18I'm going to have feelings.
26:20And when I do have a feeling, it does not mean that I'm leaving.
26:33It's Evelyn.
26:34What?
26:35Evelyn, tell me you've got rodeo gear and spurs.
26:37Of course I do.
26:38Why?
26:39Because after my dinner, you and I are going on a good old-fashioned gold bar selling hootenanny.
26:43Welcome to Margie's mighty Mar-a-Lago Square Dance Flooray!
26:53There they are.
27:16Where?
27:17Over there.
27:18Doug's in prison and they're dancing.
27:20It's okay, honey.
27:23I'm getting dizzy.
27:25No, no, no.
27:26Mitzi, now's your chance.
27:27Ass out.
27:28Sit up.
27:29Dance on over and make a pleated pinkie.
27:31That really objectifies me.
27:32Listen, little Mitzi.
27:33Mitzi, do you want Doug?
27:34Let's just release or not?
27:35Woo!
27:36Mitzi, I'm going to do it for you.
27:40Do what?
27:41If they're here, that means he's there, alone.
27:45Which means this is my one chance to get my stack, brother, a.k.a. Dungy Bunky, a.k.a. your husband.
27:52And I'm going to do it for you.
27:56I'm going to go to the cops.
27:58Who?
27:59What did you say?
28:00I said, uh, I'm dizzy.
28:01I need to stop.
28:02Are you a registered voter in Palm Beach?
28:13Are you a Democrat?
28:15Are you a Democrat?
28:16You look like a Democrat.
28:28I've never had a man who wanted to solve my problems.
28:31I've always been the problem solver.
28:33I have to admit, it's unsettling.
28:36Best of ways, I hope.
28:37Yes.
28:38You certainly are a confident man.
28:42The moment I laid eyes on you, I just knew.
28:45Bridell knew what?
28:47That I found someone like me.
28:49Oh.
28:50You're a fixer, Maxine.
28:51A doer.
28:52And you can see the gears of the world and you know just exactly which one to jam.
28:57To get exactly what you want.
28:59If I may be so forward.
29:02What do you want, Maxine?
29:03Oh.
29:04I haven't looked.
29:05I was going to try the gator.
29:07Oh.
29:08In life?
29:09No.
29:10What do you want in life?
29:11Gee.
29:13I don't think anyone's ever asked me that before.
29:16Really?
29:17It's certainly been as long as I can remember that anyone has truly, actually considered me.
29:26Well, that, you know?
29:28And the reason why I bring this up is that, well, I like you, Maxine.
29:37Oh.
29:38And I'm not going to lie, I've been hurt.
29:41Although my outward demeanor doesn't show.
29:44Oh, you poor thing.
29:45You're once bitten twice shy.
29:47I'm sorry.
29:48Which does give me a pause when I hear your confusion over moving on from your marriage.
29:53Look, the thing I want out of life most is love.
29:58I know that may sound, uh, corny or old-fashioned.
30:03But, Dr. Dusty, I do.
30:06I believe in love.
30:08I'm gonna hold your hand now.
30:10Oh.
30:11Maxine, there is nothing silly about love.
30:15And if I may be so forward, if I'm ever gonna let the big L and print itself on my heart again,
30:20there's one thing that I need to know, that you are over him.
30:24I promise, as sure as I'm sitting here, if there is a bite and type out there, that is just not me.
30:34That's all I needed to hear.
30:37Oh.
30:38So sorry to interrupt.
30:40Welcome to the Fang and Tail, Loxahatchee's preeminent and gourmet alligator dining experience.
30:47Uh-huh.
30:48My name is Jedabidiya, your gator sommelier.
30:52On tonight's menu, Esmeralda.
30:55Esmeralda's gonna be a bit salty on the pilot for those who prefer an ocean-reared specimen.
31:00Over here, we have Jake.
31:01Aw.
31:02Now, Jake is gonna be a bit more sinewy, but with a truly rewarding gamey finish.
31:07Now, we do have a special tonight.
31:10Ms. Hildegard has been raised on nothing but Bing cherries, which will impart the sweetest of sensations.
31:16Hildegard?
31:17Hildegard.
31:18Oh.
31:19Jinx.
31:20Buy me a Coke.
31:21Oh, and we'll begin with 20 ounces of caviar.
31:24A gin martini for me.
31:26Twist and that.
31:27And, um, you don't really want Coke, do you?
31:30Oh, no.
31:32Just a vigorous speech.
31:33A grasshopper.
31:34You do have creme de cacao.
31:36Do we ever.
31:37Mm-hmm.
31:38Oh.
31:39All right, we'll get those drinks flowing and, uh, get this alligator body started.
31:43Thank you, Dibbida Dibbida.
31:44Yeah.
31:45I'm sorry you missed your bachelor party.
31:50I prefer my own private party.
31:52That's right.
31:53But can't always rely on agents getting married.
31:57And I'm sorry you can't come to my place anymore.
32:00I know a place, uh, a motel in West Palm Beach.
32:06Guess you could call it, uh, no-tell motel.
32:09Mm-hmm.
32:10Seeing as we can't meet at your place anymore.
32:18I'm kinda falling in love with you.
32:22Aren't you gonna say you're kinda falling in love with me, too?
32:33Can we come up with another word for us?
32:35That one's just fine.
32:37Tried and true.
32:39See, but I met someone last season, and I was about to drop everything for him.
32:45And, um...
32:46And-and what?
32:48Well, you arrested him.
32:53Yeah, right after Maxine tipped you off.
32:56The con artist.
32:58It's...
33:00Ironic.
33:04And-and you loved him?
33:06No, everything was so fast.
33:08That was the first word that jumped into my heart.
33:10So I want a new word for us.
33:12And a future.
33:15I...
33:16Can promise you...
33:17A now.
33:18And then...
33:19Another now.
33:21Mm-hmm.
33:22And enough nows add up to a future, right?
33:26Don't they?
33:27Yeah.
33:34Hello?
33:35Down!
33:36Hello?
33:40I'd like to report a kidnapping.
33:44Now!
33:45Yes, ma'am.
33:46What happened to your shirt?
33:48Um, I'm in the middle of, uh, changing shifts.
33:51Ooh, what's this?
33:52I'll be right back.
33:53Do you mind?
33:54Please.
33:55Ugh, the baby loves charcuterie.
33:59Sides go in and then rotate.
34:01Heads will follow.
34:02Don't be late.
34:07Are you guys pushing?
34:08Yeah.
34:09Look at all this loot.
34:10Marjorie is a world-class hoarder.
34:15Cheesy crazy.
34:16Those are Fabergé eggs.
34:17Very good, Maxine.
34:18Out of a dozen surviving imperial eggs made for the Romanovs,
34:22she's got 11 of them.
34:24Boo-hoo-hoo.
34:25You need to sell your chalice.
34:27I don't care if it is the cup that caught the blood from the severed penis of St. Who's-It-What's-It.
34:33I won't pay a penny over its market weight in silver.
34:37Minus 40%.
34:39Ugh.
34:40Children.
34:41Why do we have them?
34:42Am I right?
34:43I'm assuming that's her.
34:44Shh.
34:45From here on out, only speak when spoken to, Maxine.
34:48And the outside world matchpost is peaches and cream.
34:51But behind closed doors, she'll tear your face off faster than a chimpanzee
34:54and give it to her men to sauté for breakfast with a side of cereal.
34:57I do not have a good feeling about this.
34:59Of course, all we need between Maxine is the estate and me is, well, me, is three mil to make it happen.
35:03The rest is gravy.
35:07Evelyn.
35:08Forgery.
35:09You brought the shit.
35:10We did indeed bring the shit.
35:13Allow me to introduce my lawyer.
35:15All right.
35:16Dr. Dusty Magic.
35:17Mm-hmm.
35:18At last we meet.
35:19Your reputation precedes you.
35:21I know.
35:23And this?
35:24I don't give a shit who they are.
35:26Let's get this over with and get on up to dancing.
35:29Evelyn.
35:30Isn't that chair yours?
35:33Yes.
35:34And that's my-my mantle clock.
35:37And my statues.
35:39My birds.
35:40Oh, all of this shit.
35:42It's mine.
35:43I may have made my fortune in grape nuts and frozen foods, but my secret passion is buying
35:49and upselling other people's crap.
35:51I have an agreement with the feds.
35:53They silo all their seizures to me for cents on the dollar.
35:56I sell high to auction houses across the world.
35:59There's no better high on earth, save mixing a little heroin and cocaine in my minute tapioca.
36:04Great constitutional.
36:07So everything from the Rollins mansion is now in your hands?
36:10Damn right!
36:11It's called business!
36:12That's why we're here.
36:13And we do know a lot about business, don't we, Evelyn?
36:17Yes, apparently all business starts with grand larceny aided by the U.S. government and Nazi gold under mattresses.
36:22Don't make me wipe the judgment off your tongue.
36:25No, no, no, no, no.
36:26We would never judge a woman with such clear and obvious and astounding business acumen.
36:34I mean, this is genius.
36:36How did you even think of a vault in the basement?
36:39Oh, gosh.
36:40I dream someday I can have one of these.
36:42Hey, you!
36:43Get where I can see you.
36:47I started building this in 63.
36:49Cuban Missile Crisis.
36:51My architect said, you're crazy.
36:53Mar-a-Lago's perfect.
36:55128 rooms, ocean on one side, intercoastal on the other.
36:59What now, Madge?
37:00A bunker, too?
37:02But when this world blows sky high, and it will, I'll be ready.
37:07Will you?
37:10I'll give you 50 cents on the dollar for it.
37:12For gold?
37:13Marjorie, there's only one price for gold.
37:15It's the price of gold.
37:16Except when you have serialized bars and you need cash in a hurry.
37:20And if you're like me, there's nothing more arousing than having people over a barrel.
37:25Makes me want to get up and square dance.
37:29Unless you have my long, longed-for Fabergé egg, then you can name your price.
37:38Oh.
37:39I wish we had it.
37:40We don't have it.
37:41No?
37:42Well, too bad.
37:43This is highway robbery.
37:44All right.
37:45Miss Post, this situation is a take it or take it.
37:48Well, then.
37:50While they count up this shit, let's dance it out.
37:59You sure we're something back there?
38:04Well, you sure are something too, Dr. Dusty Magic.
38:08Well, I'm glad you noticed.
38:10You are putting on such a great face after everything that's happened today.
38:14Can you imagine satisfaction knowing how badly she's humiliated me?
38:18Until that money gets here, it's yippie-ki-yay all the live long day.
38:21Marjorie.
38:22Dull.
38:23Heck of a hootenanny.
38:24Have you seen that rascal Perry?
38:25I know we're getting close to speech time.
38:26Well, well.
38:27If it isn't I now, Black Widow Rosenhips.
38:28I am doing my very best to put that cruel moniker behind me.
38:30Oh, it's the right words to describe anybody associated with Axel Rosenhips.
38:34Ha-ha!
38:35You'll never get my egg as long as I'm alive, Madge.
38:38Dear Madge, finally ready to sell my egg.
38:41Just kidding!
38:42I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about.
38:45Three syllables.
38:46I'm sorry.
38:47I'm sorry.
38:48I'm sorry.
38:49I'm sorry.
38:50I'm sorry.
38:51I'm sorry.
38:52I'm sorry.
38:53I'm sorry.
38:54I'm sorry.
38:55I'm sorry.
38:56I'm sorry.
38:57I'm sorry.
38:58I'm sorry.
38:59Three syllables.
39:00Faberge.
39:01I'm still not getting it.
39:04Oh, I think you do.
39:05In fact, I bet you've got it.
39:07And that's why I hate Democrats.
39:09And why your husband will be mayor over my dead body.
39:12I own the ballots and the boxes they're stuffed into.
39:16That we have no intention of winning.
39:20We are here on the orders of President Nixon himself to in fact lose.
39:26We're on the same side here.
39:28I'm not curious.
39:29Most curious indeed.
39:31Well, it turns out it was $6.8 million market dollars in gold.
39:41Half of that is $3.4 million.
39:43And have the valet pull the car around.
39:45Careful.
39:46That's how he is.
39:47Three mil right there.
39:48And this is where I bid you a good fucking good night.
39:52And what about the...
39:54Oh, the...
39:57Commitment.
40:00And four.
40:01He's brought on the money.
40:03Consider yourself blessed, Maxine.
40:05That's your portion of the commitment.
40:08Consider yourself magic.
40:10Maxine.
40:11Maxine.
40:12What's your commitment?
40:14I'm not at liberty to say.
40:18Except that the Rollins estate has been asked to send funds to someone.
40:24Not Linda.
40:25Um, will you excuse us, Dr. Dusty?
40:28Maxine.
40:29Do you know where Linda is?
40:31Um...
40:32There might have been something that came across the year waves in a general sense as a conservator
40:40of the estate.
40:41How could I have been such a dum-dum?
40:44It was you who got Linda out of town.
40:46Well, Bob, certainly not going to admit to that.
40:49But that would be admitting to a federal crime.
40:51Which means this is all your fault.
40:53Mind losing the Rollins mansion, the locked assets, the missing cash, 50 cents on the dollar
40:58to gold?
40:59What does it matter now?
41:00We've got our unbreakable bond of sisterhood.
41:04Partners.
41:05International women of business.
41:06Together.
41:07Why, hell, I'd partner with a rat like you, Maxine.
41:10What?
41:11That six mil is mine.
41:12All the other lost millions can now be considered the doing of the estate.
41:15A.K.A. you.
41:16The Palm Royale is now mine under sole ownership.
41:20And if you set one foot inside it, so help me, I'll break it.
41:23Swing your phone to spin around from the east to the south.
41:35I ruined everything.
41:36And I never even made contact with that dang courier!
41:40I've got something to tell you, Maxine.
41:42What is it?
41:44Banana slot.
41:48Come again?
41:50Banana slot.
41:52You?
41:53You?
41:54You're the courier?
41:55Dangerous work, but I'm a dedicated man.
41:57What can't you do, Dr. Dusty Magic?
42:02Oh, I could do things you never dreamed of, Maxine.
42:05Huh?
42:06I said go, go wire, this, money, and then, if I may be so bold, meet me at the Delacorte
42:17pool house, where you and I will have the most rigorous animal sex you've ever had in
42:20your entire life, thus beginning to heal the wounds in my heart and yours.
42:25Oh, my goodness.
42:26Are you gonna kiss me?
42:27No.
42:28I'm gonna do it.
42:29I'm gonna do it.
42:30I'm gonna do it!
42:31I'm gonna do it!
42:36And now, we're going to introduce our two candidates for May.
42:43I know, I know, there's seven running, but...
42:49I'm gonna do it!
42:51And now we're going to introduce our two candidates for May.
42:56Oh, I know there's seven running, but Lord knows I'm not inviting the Socialists or the Greens to my stage.
43:02It's bad enough having a Democrat.
43:05Republican candidate for mayor, incumbent, Benny Barnhill.
43:10Come on, get over here.
43:13Thank you, most honorable lady.
43:20Maxine, I've been looking all over for you.
43:23What? What is it?
43:24I think you took Douglas hostage.
43:25Are you serious?
43:27I think he's trying to kill him because Douglas didn't want to give him to Delacorte.
43:30Oh, he's so selfish.
43:32He's ruining everything.
43:34I was just about to do it.
43:35He didn't know he was going to get kidnapped.
43:37Oh, no, it is indeed every bit his fault.
43:39Sooner or later, he was going to find out, Maxine.
43:42We tried.
43:46If Evelyn wants a fight,
43:52then a fight she will get.
43:55And that's why I want to continue as your mayor of all years.
43:59Well, thank you, Mayor Barry, for an arousing speech.
44:05And now, we're going to introduce the Democratic candidate for mayor, Perry Donoghue.
44:12Perry?
44:15Perry, don't be afraid.
44:17We're only a mildly hostile crowd.
44:19Where is he?
44:35Oh, God.
44:40Are you really going to do this?
44:43Risk your life for a...
44:44washed-up pilot who can't remember your birthday?
44:55Oh, God.
44:58I think I just pooped myself.
45:01No, I really pooped.
45:02I pooped myself.
45:03My husband is indisposed,
45:06so I will give his prepared remarks.
45:09Dear Lord, please don't let them find my dead body
45:12with poop in my white pants.
45:15I am here to tell you that Perry Donoghue
45:19stands for so many liberal, socially responsible things.
45:28Wait, wait, wait.
45:30Maybe I didn't poop myself.
45:32Maybe I just farted.
45:33Perry loves the environment.
45:37He believes that your drinking water should be safe from lead and arsenic
45:45and that it shouldn't cause cancer.
45:49What's more,
45:51Perry believes in women's rights.
45:57Be somebody, Perry.
46:00Be a hero.
46:01Perry also believes
46:04that innocent civilians
46:06shouldn't be incinerated
46:08by napalm.
46:10Communist!
46:11Somebody cut her right now!
46:17Yes, very much.
46:19Who wants to hear me yodel?
46:20Yes!
46:20I want to be a cowboy, sweetheart.
46:33I want to be a cowboy, sweetheart.
46:47I want to learn to rope and to ride.
46:51I want to ride all the plains and the desert
46:55out west of the Great Divide.
47:00I want to hear the coyotes howling
47:03while the sun sinks in the west.
47:07I want to be a cowboy, sweetheart.
47:12That's the life that I love best.
47:15You're in there!
47:42You're in there!
47:42I want to ride old paint going out a run. I want to feel the wind in my face.
47:57A thousand miles from the city lights, going a cowhands pass.
48:05I want a pillow in my head, never sleeping heard, while the moon shines down the road.
48:12I want to strum my guitar and you to do. Oh, that's the life that I love.
48:21Pinky! Fine. You can have it.
48:26Have what? Delacorte. You get to keep it for the club.
48:31My handshake is my contract. And bad things happen if you go back on it, Salis.
48:38All right. You can let him go now.
48:40Let who go?
48:41Douglas.
48:41I'm coming for you, buddy.
48:45Don't have Douglas.
48:57You didn't kidnap Douglas?
49:00Oh, we have the Delacorte Mansion, though.
49:04Wait!
49:05Where's Linda Shaw?
49:13I have no idea.
49:14We know you flew to Cuba.
49:16And we know who's behind it.
49:18You do?
49:19I want to be a cowboy sweetheart.
49:21I want to learn to rope and drive.
49:28I want to ride over the plains and the desert, out west of the Great Divide.
49:37I want to hear the cows howling while the sun sings in the west.
49:45I want to be a cowboy sweetheart.
49:49I want to be a cowboy sweetheart.
49:49That's the love that I love best.
49:53Your lady, lady, lady, lady ho.
49:58Mm-hmm.
50:04Yes!
50:08Woo-hoo!
50:09That was an eventful night.
50:10That was an eventful night.
50:19I'm sorry about all your belongings.
50:22Well, it wasn't easy come, but it sure was easy go.
50:30Story of my life.
50:34I believe this belongs to you.
50:36Daddy. Oh, Daddy.
50:40Oh, she's back.
50:48So it's this massive mansion.
50:51This guy comes barreling along the side,
50:53followed by a big fat pig.
50:57Kidding.
50:58Oh, my God.
51:03I guess we both had a very interesting night.
51:07People in this town are nuts.
51:13How did you hear about this place?
51:15I raided it last year.
51:20I'm kidding.
51:22I'm keeping it from being raided.
51:23I have a feeling we're going to have a really good time here.
51:31What's curious, Evelyn Rollins of the past,
51:40Just this afternoon, I thought you were a depiction of me at the height of my powers.
52:00But in reality, you are now witness to it.
52:16Damien Douglas gave up everything.
52:19Pinky doesn't even have it.
52:21This is officially Revenge 6.
52:33This is Revenge 6.
52:33I'm coming.
52:57Coming!
52:57Coming!
52:58Douglas, where are your clothes?
53:09The feds, Max.
53:10The feds black-bagged me and held me for days.
53:15Oh, thank God.
53:16Food!
53:17Yeah, they know that I flew Linda out of town,
53:21but I didn't crack.
53:23They think Pinky is involved because it was his plane
53:27and he's the one that they're really after.
53:30I just managed to save you
53:33and all the women of Palm Beach,
53:36so you're welcome.
53:40And nobody even cared that I was missing.
53:42Nobody cares.
53:47I've got news for you.
53:48Thanks to your dumb, dumb disappearing act,
53:53I thought Pinky was going to kill you.
53:55So I traded the Delacorte for your release
53:59and he never had you in the first place.
54:00What?
54:01Don't you think you should have fucking confirmed
54:04that Pinky had me before you gave away my house?
54:07Very dare you.
54:12Idiot.
54:13You're looking sexy.
54:16Are you?
54:17Yes.
54:18Douglas.
54:19Yes!
54:20I am about to screw someone else!
54:24Oh, that's him.
54:25That's him.
54:26All right, well, I am not sticking around for this.
54:30No, no, no, no, no, you can't go out that way.
54:32I can't go out that way.
54:33It's my house.
54:34Go out the back of my own house?
54:36I'm going to go out the back of my own house.
54:38You should be the one going out the back.
54:39Oh, no!
54:40Douglas.
54:43Oh.
54:45I see I'm interrupting.
54:46No, no, no, no, no.
54:47No, this is not what it looks like at all.
54:53Sorry about this, man.
54:54Would you shut up, Douglas?
54:55I thought you said you didn't buy it.
54:57No.
54:58I...
54:59I...
55:00No, I don't.
55:01I know it looks...
55:03Goodbye, Maxine.
55:06Good luck.
55:06What?
55:08No.
55:10I...
55:11Good riddance to him, huh?
55:13You go nice places.
55:25I've never been to any nice places.
55:30Well, but you go nice places.
55:35Excuse me, mister, take me with you.
55:39You do nice dances.
55:43My feet have never followed nice dances.
55:47Well, but you do nice dances.
55:51Excuse me, mister, take me with you.
55:53Hello, Robert.
55:53Hello, Robert.
56:01Hello, Robert.
56:02Hello, Robert.
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