- 14 hours ago
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00:00Loneliness is multiplied when we keep ourselves closed off.
00:04Hi.
00:05The people who love you see you suffering.
00:08Sorry, don't mind the mess.
00:12She's just in the bedroom.
00:13Okay.
00:14And seeing you suffer hurts them too.
00:16Baby.
00:17We have to let them help us, I think.
00:20Gotta visit her.
00:22Nobody likes to admit they can't handle life alone.
00:25But maybe we shouldn't try to.
00:26Okay.
00:27It's kind of...
00:29what it means to be human.
00:38Ta-da.
00:42Really, my prescription for anxiety meds consistently gives me anxiety.
00:46Is that how they get you?
00:47They?
00:48Big Pharma.
00:49The app said Bremen Way,
00:51and all I see is this poster for a farmer's market that says,
00:54Shitake Happens.
00:55Are you on Bremen Street?
00:56Or Bremen Way?
00:57Or Bremen Place?
00:59How did you know?
01:06I'm your sister.
01:07I know details aren't your strong point.
01:09Rude.
01:12Especially when you're stressed.
01:13Who's stressed?
01:14I'm just...
01:15Unemployed, broke, and unmedicated.
01:17Sorry.
01:18I'm whining.
01:20I'm whining.
01:21How are you?
01:22How is she?
01:23Oh, I'm the same.
01:25She's the same.
01:26Please get back to whining about your miseries.
01:27I need the distraction.
01:29Well, if you want more distraction,
01:30a guy on the train today said I reminded him of his middle school math teacher,
01:34who was, and I quote,
01:36a vision in Argyle.
01:38Yeah, I told you that cardigan is a heinous.
01:42I needed a laugh.
01:43Here to serve.
01:45Excuse me?
01:46Know where Bremen Way is?
01:47Nope.
01:48Here you go.
01:49I'm going to call you back.
01:54Okay, bye.
02:00I'm so sorry I didn't call you back.
02:02Stop.
02:03My dumb music snippets aren't as important as your dad.
02:06Well, still, I could have said something.
02:10I was just underwater.
02:16I can't stop thinking about what I did.
02:19To cause it.
02:20You didn't do anything to cause it, though.
02:25I did listen to your clips.
02:28It's all there.
02:30When you're ready, just keep going.
02:33Completing your first original is no easy feat.
02:36It is for some people.
02:38Taylor Swift writes, like, five albums at a time.
02:41Aria.
02:41It's true.
02:43Maybe it's me.
02:45Can't seem to cross any finish lines.
02:49What's that?
02:53Oh, that's...
02:55Can wait for another time.
02:56Um, but my face is on it.
02:58You have to show me.
02:59I'm chuffed about you performing, but there's no rush.
03:05I'll talk to Nate.
03:09Are you two okay?
03:11Oh, I'm not sure.
03:13We haven't seen each other since I sped off to the UK.
03:17Well, he understands, though.
03:18He can't.
03:19He doesn't know why I left.
03:20He has more important things going on.
03:24But no, he has other things going on.
03:27He cares about you.
03:29A lot.
03:31I suppose.
03:32You know he does.
03:33If you don't give someone the opportunity to fail you,
03:40then they can't fail you.
03:44I think that's why I didn't reach out to my dad for all those years.
03:48I couldn't face the risk that he wouldn't welcome me back with open arms.
03:53That's why we stopped trying to get pregnant.
03:56The fear.
03:58Now there's this.
04:00It's okay not to be okay.
04:06Good.
04:07Because these reality TV shows aren't going to watch themselves.
04:11There you go.
04:13I do worry about you being alone, though.
04:15Um, I'm seeing Dr. Anderson today.
04:19Okay.
04:20Are you going to call Nate?
04:22Yes.
04:23It's his birthday tomorrow.
04:24He's probably off celebrating somewhere.
04:26Hmm.
04:26I just don't really feel like celebrating.
04:31Well, your daughter considers birthdays a month-long event,
04:34and she's making you a very delicious-looking pancake right now.
04:37So let's take a break, okay?
04:38Okay.
04:40Oh, wow.
04:43Is that mine?
04:45Thank you, Shui.
04:48Great job.
04:49Hmm.
04:50Oh.
04:51Oh.
04:51Oh.
04:53Wow.
04:54Yeah.
04:59So hungry.
05:00Yeah.
05:01Hmm.
05:01Hmm.
05:02All right.
05:04Hmm.
05:05Hmm.
05:07Okay.
05:13Hmm.
05:14Hmm.
05:17Yeah.
05:18Yeah, let's go.
05:20Okay.
05:20Okay, hey, remember, Daddy needs to take it slow right now, okay?
05:27Choose, please.
05:31Hey.
05:32You're about to start treatment again, so I just think...
05:35Oh, I know.
05:36I get it, but I'm going to talk to her, just not today.
05:40Okay.
05:42Maybe also talk to your parents?
05:44Let them know that you have cancer before they jet off to Mumbai and bring you back a hookah.
05:48They know me so well.
05:49Hey, are you seriously going to run around the city all day with a six-year-old hopped up on sugar?
05:54I can handle cupcakes in the playground.
05:57What I can't handle is disappointing her.
06:01That's good.
06:02I'm going to be good.
06:04All right.
06:05Shoot time.
06:08I'm done.
06:11I wish you were, babe.
06:14The sooner we start your session...
06:15No, I'm dumping a pain cushion.
06:17She's having a tough week.
06:34Your guys are disgusting.
06:36I think you're disgusting.
06:37How dare you do this to someone?
06:38You can't be looking me in the eye.
06:40Are you sorry?
06:40Hi, Dr. Anderson.
06:50Hi, Aria.
06:51Listen, I'm so sorry to do this last minute, but I had an emergency come up.
06:55So do you mind if we reschedule for the same time next week?
06:58Yeah.
06:59No problem.
07:00Fantastic.
07:00Thank you so much.
07:01We'll talk soon.
07:02You saw me crying, and you're now in his bed.
07:10Ah!
07:11Is that supposed to hurt?
07:13Well, your arches are probably tight.
07:15Oh, my goodness.
07:16Have you been using the golf ball?
07:17They only had them in multi-packs, and who needs a dozen golf balls, right?
07:22I'll get it.
07:23Hello.
07:26Hey, hey.
07:26Hi.
07:27I, uh, I forgot.
07:28It was Nate's birthday until I looked at my calendar, and then when I asked him what he
07:32was doing, he said nothing.
07:35Hmm.
07:36So we obviously have to throw him a party.
07:38Yeah, well, does he want a party?
07:41Want?
07:41No.
07:41He hates attention.
07:42Babe.
07:42But he deserves it.
07:43He needs, like, a surprise birthday slash cancer warrior party.
07:47I have been buried, so I was wondering if you two could help me out tomorrow afternoon-ish.
07:53Yeah, of course.
07:53Yeah, sure.
07:54I could probably rope in the others.
07:57I am quite charming.
07:58Oh, I know.
07:59I, uh, would you mind picking up the sheet cake for me?
08:02It's his favorite, and like the only day a year, he allows himself a little treat.
08:06Oh.
08:07Tell me you ordered from Veneers.
08:08Oh, my God.
08:08Who do you think I am?
08:09Of course.
08:10Oh, what's that?
08:11Come on.
08:12See you later.
08:12Come on.
08:13Yeah, nice try.
08:14Yeah.
08:14Yeah.
08:19I can't.
08:22Wow, okay.
08:23So, hi.
08:26Well, why don't you go down the slide?
08:33Okay.
08:35All right.
08:35Daddy's got you.
08:37Oh.
08:43All right.
08:45I can't.
08:47I can't.
08:47Okay.
08:48Here, in a familiar place.
08:58Got our heads down.
09:02And when we pretend it's because the night is dark.
09:09In one and another space.
09:12For us to run around.
09:15But it's a dead end, and everybody is light, and it's been a long time, all this, it's been hard, yeah, I only know from down the slope, it's only up, up we go.
09:38Mom, come here! I finally got the chorus figured out.
09:40I'm still stuck in bed, have a moon on off one bit since, solitude and I'm mad, hey, he told me no one could save me, and I thought that he might be crazy, my lonely's pushing the daisies, and I think that maybe he may be right.
09:59Thank you!
10:07It's good. Just don't cramp up those piano fingers.
10:12So you don't like it?
10:16Hobbies are fine, so long as you spend the bulk of your time on things that matter.
10:21Okay.
10:27Hey.
10:29Classical piano gives you a chance at a real career, if you're serious about it.
10:34I am serious.
10:36Good.
10:37Because I have news.
10:43Juilliard, you got the audition.
10:47Yeah!
10:47Wow!
10:50Yeah, okay, yeah.
10:52Okay.
10:53Okay.
11:15Is she around?
11:16She's right there.
11:17Okay. Thanks.
11:21Hi. Hi.
11:25Finn's having a hard time. Might not be in the mood for company today. I'm sorry.
11:28Oh, no problem. I understand. Even tough girls have bad days, right?
11:33Yeah.
11:35Um, I brought her a few bits and bobs from London.
11:41A gift? That is so sweet of you. But let's maybe try another day.
11:49All right, then. I'll just hang on to these. I guess I'll come back another time.
11:55Neither of you starlets should quit your day job.
11:59What do you got?
12:01Hmm. Well.
12:04Right. There you go.
12:07Whoa.
12:12This is so cool.
12:14You got these from actual London?
12:17Yeah. Actual London.
12:21And that was mine. Do you like it?
12:24I love it.
12:25Oh, good. Thanks.
12:32Therapeutic music day.
12:33What is therapeutic about that dreadful racket?
12:36I know. They're never on the beat.
12:39Mm-hmm.
12:41Hey!
12:42Keep it down. We're trying to beat cancer over here!
12:52Happy birthday.
12:55Thanks.
12:57Um, I won't keep you, uh, but I owe you an explanation.
13:00That would be quite the birthday present.
13:06Are you free today?
13:08I'm not, actually.
13:10What about tomorrow?
13:14Uh, maybe.
13:18Okay, we'll figure something out.
13:19Um, I actually gotta go.
13:21Okay. Bye.
13:22Bye.
13:22Bye.
13:23Bye.
13:24Have we been found out?
13:25No, I think we're good.
13:26Just...
13:26Oh, okay.
13:27Okay.
13:30Here you are.
13:34Walter, you're either helping out or drinking wine, but not both.
13:38This is not for me.
13:40Okay.
13:40Okay.
13:40What was his name?
13:50Uh, Reese.
13:52Reese.
13:53Well, Therese.
13:56Who raised an amazing daughter and friend.
14:01Aw, thank you, Walter.
14:02Mm-hmm.
14:04Oh, hey.
14:05Hey.
14:05Where's Sylvia?
14:07At my apartment.
14:08Oh, did you and your girlfriend move in together already?
14:11No, we did not.
14:15Well, while you were gone, Sylvia's apartment flooded, and now Tara has a new roommate.
14:21It's good.
14:22It's good.
14:23Yeah, that was convincing.
14:25I thought it was only gonna be for a couple of nights, but it's been a couple of weeks.
14:29I do like having her there.
14:31It's just...
14:32I'm not used to it anymore.
14:34It's a lot, when you're used to your routine, and then someone's in your space.
14:38Exactly.
14:39Like, Sylvia made quiche the other night for dinner, right?
14:42After she cracked the eggs, she put the slimy, broken shells back in the garden.
14:47Okay.
14:48Bring them to me.
14:49I'll crush them up and mix them in my plant soil.
14:52Yeah.
14:52Egg shells are very nutrient-dense.
14:55My point is that it's gross.
14:57She's not gross.
14:58Right.
14:59You know what I mean.
15:00Now, look, the only thing I heard was, Sylvia made a quiche, and you ate it.
15:06Yeah, it was a pretty good quiche.
15:07Hey.
15:36Oh, hey.
15:37Where's Anna?
15:41Uh, well, I had the brilliant idea of doing this blanket for it today, but then she had
15:46a meltdown when I told her that I couldn't get down and crawl inside of it with her, so
15:50I gave up.
15:51And now she's taking her first solo ride on the subway.
15:55I think she's probably halfway to Queens by now.
15:58Uh-huh.
16:01She's in her bedroom, watching unboxing videos.
16:04Why is the energy level of a six-year-old, like, toxic to adults?
16:06It's radioactive.
16:07I know.
16:10Yeah, I mean, you can't fix everything, Nate.
16:13Feels more like anything.
16:14Yeah, Alice wants me to come in and sign some vendor checks.
16:27Something I can actually manage to do.
16:29Okay, here we go.
16:35There you go.
16:37I don't remember what my life was like without you.
16:41Will you marry me?
16:42Oh my God, is this real?
16:43Yes, I will be your wife.
16:44Yes.
16:45Yes.
16:48What?
16:50Connection loss.
16:52No.
16:53No.
16:55No.
16:56No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:01No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:04Thank you for calling Skychart.
17:28Your call is important to us.
17:30Please hold, and a representative will be with you shortly.
17:34Honey, stop hiding behind that sustain pedal.
17:42You're not fooling anyone with that tempo.
17:54You have one week to get it right before your audition.
17:58Focus.
18:04Feet up, Aria.
18:24Still off.
18:26A two more.
18:38Go again.
18:38what happened oh my god
18:58wait mom don't call the doctor i'm not i'm seeing if we can reschedule the audition
19:08good afternoon this is mo with sky chart internet who do i have the pleasure of speaking with today
19:16oh my god finally uh aria navarro my internet's out i am so sorry about that aria and i'm in a
19:23high-rise in manhattan so my cell signal is crap too that sounds distressing aria can you stop saying
19:29my name yes ma'am no no no no ma'am just just you know aria's fine thank you aria now let me check
19:37to see if there's any reported outages near you bear with me a bit longer our system is running
19:43slower than usual can you just send someone out here to fix it let's try a few troubleshooting
19:47techniques first i'm confident just send someone out here to fix it please
19:51are you okay
19:59not really is someone there with you no
20:09i'm alone
20:12you're not alone i'm here do you want to talk about it sorry i i know that's weird you don't
20:21even know me i had a miscarriage
20:23and i didn't even know i was pregnant
20:29so i didn't get the chance to be excited i only got to be devastated
20:36and i'm so sick of being devastated
20:40i'm sorry
20:47thanks it's stupid but i just want to watch my shows
20:56this is probably your weirdest call today no not quite i don't know if you know this but people
21:08kind of suck
21:08can i tell you something
21:1413 months ago when the third fertility specialist in a row
21:28told me that i was never gonna be able to have a baby
21:32my husband left me
21:36the first month i could barely breathe
21:44the second month i just watched the office morning noon and night
21:48took me 11 more months just to find this job
21:51i couldn't make myself show up
21:55yeah i
21:57i get that
21:59i read something this morning it said um
22:03loneliness is multiplied when we keep ourselves closed off
22:08the people who love you they see you suffering
22:11and seeing you suffer hurts them too
22:14so we have to let them help us
22:17i think
22:19i just always feel like a burden
22:23i hate that
22:26same
22:29my sister who's going through unimaginable things is always telling me
22:33that she wants to hear about my problems
22:36that helps her just as much as it helps me but um
22:40i have to fight the urge to isolate
22:42yeah that's my comfort zone
22:45nobody wants to hear that they can't handle life alone but um
22:51maybe we shouldn't try to
22:53it's kind of
22:55what it means to be human
22:57hmm
22:58you're right
23:02mel
23:05yeah
23:07i'm glad my internet went out
23:10me too
23:17i don't but you are fired
23:37sorry
23:38this isn't any other birthday this is a new cancer-free beginning
23:41yes
23:42come on man
23:43yeah um
23:44not bad
23:45seriously
23:46i should probably put that out
23:50yeah
23:51cake for everyone
23:53hey
23:53come on to size
23:54come on
23:55come on
23:56come on
23:56okay
24:00hi
24:02hi
24:03i don't know
24:33i don't know
24:34what to say
24:35i don't know
24:37i don't know
24:38i don't know
24:39you want to try to understand
24:40understand
24:41understand
24:42i don't know
24:44i don't know
24:45put your world
24:46right in my head
24:48i'm still trying to learn from a woman
24:54i don't know
24:55i don't know
24:56i don't know
24:57i don't know
24:58you're not cleaning up at your own birthday party
25:00i don't see any of you getting up
25:01no
25:02you don't
25:03you're not doing that
25:04no no
25:08are you sure we can't help
25:09it's fine
25:10yeah yeah
25:11it's my pleasure
25:12okay
25:19okay
25:20i have to say
25:23it's so much too much
25:25he's fine
25:26don't worry
25:27hold on
25:32i'll help you
25:33allow me darling
25:34i'm good i just
25:35it's like
25:36stop
25:39laughing about
25:42just making up words man
25:44show me where to put this
25:46yeah not so easy is it
25:48thank you
25:52any time
25:55you doing okay
25:57yeah
25:58you
25:59yeah
26:02i get it
26:03you get what
26:05this
26:06it's a lot
26:08separated
26:09i have a kid
26:10can't even take out my own trash
26:12i i understand why
26:14why you ran away
26:15no that's not what happened
26:17well where'd you go
26:20i mean i know you went to the UK
26:23but
26:24it's more than that
26:25i
26:26i lost my dad
26:30i'm so sorry
26:32i'm sorry
26:33i wish i
26:34i wish you could have told me
26:35i know
26:36i've
26:37i hadn't gone back since i moved to the states
26:39since i
26:40well since i fled honestly
26:44i
26:45i really want to hug you
26:48okay
26:49but i i can't
26:50oh
26:51okay
26:52sorry no it's
26:53the incisions
26:55oh
26:56multiple incisions
26:57i see
26:58ah
27:02hey could you uh
27:04let me be here for you
27:06you were here for me
27:07you were here for me
27:12minus at one time
27:13but
27:14that's okay
27:15that's
27:17so um
27:18so i'm not a birthday person huh
27:20oh you noticed
27:21yeah
27:22we're all in there trying to celebrate you
27:23and you are picking rubbish
27:25literal rubbish
27:26over joining us
27:34so the surgery didn't go as planned
27:37i think we weren't able to get clear margins on my excisions
27:40so they're still active cells
27:42so more chemo
27:43more chemo
27:44more chemo
27:45yeah
27:49it feels like
27:50the finish line was right there
27:51my foot was right there
27:52hmm
27:53and it just
27:54it just got moved
27:55like
28:01i'm really happy you're here
28:03yeah
28:11shall we
28:12yeah
28:20the only way i know you won't run away again
28:22hmm
28:27go on then
28:28i know you don't love sweets so i got you a gift card to my favorite ramen place on Amsterdam
28:46i feel like you're a ramen guy
28:48you are correct
28:49thank you this is so thoughtful
28:51go i'll get you a drink
28:53okay thank you
28:55chris
28:56yes
28:57i did it
28:59i wrote an entire song
29:01like a b a b c b
29:02it's all there
29:03fully formed
29:04you are
29:06practically vibrant
29:08well after you left i thought i was going to be in bed for days
29:12and then
29:13and then i talked to mo
29:15sorry long story
29:17well good job mo and great job aria i can't wait to hear it
29:21neither can i
29:23can't wait to hear what
29:24aria just finished composing her first original song
29:28wow congratulations
29:29thank you
29:30and you're here
29:31you should be out celebrating with your people
29:33well
29:35i am
29:36thank you
29:37thank you
29:40thank you
29:42thank you
29:44john
29:46it's good to see you
29:48hi
29:50and you must be john's wife
29:53i'm desi
29:54i'm desi
29:55are you
29:56you work at kaplan
29:58i do
30:00oh well nice to meet you
30:04wow that is such a beautiful bracelet
30:06oh
30:07yeah it is
30:09john knows what i like
30:11hi john nice to see you
30:15hi
30:16how you doing
30:17good
30:18good
30:19good
30:20did you want to grab a seat
30:21yeah
30:22yes
30:47a little something extra
30:51thank you john
30:52thank you
30:53thank you
30:55yeah first
30:56oh i had to get that
30:57i'm right back
30:59she uh
31:00kisses my cheek almost every time she leaves the room
31:03i kinda love it
31:05mm-hmm
31:07but
31:08nothing
31:10it's just a lot
31:14uh
31:15you know we started seeing each other
31:17and suddenly we're sharing my space
31:20it's my space
31:22i'm not ready for it to become our space
31:25is that terrible
31:27no no
31:28it's fast
31:29even for lesbians
31:31Walter
31:33i'm sorry
31:34is that offensive
31:35no
31:36i'm proud you even knew to make that joke
31:39okay
31:41and now i feel
31:42much better
31:43i do
31:44okay okay
31:45like and and you're right
31:46we've been kind of on fast forward
31:48but once her apartment repairs are finally done
31:51we get to go back to getting to know each other
31:54slowly
31:55nice
31:56mm-hmm
31:57cheers
31:58cheers
32:00it's true
32:01i think it's yeah
32:02it's only one
32:03but it's
32:04almost like
32:05chris
32:07carrie
32:08yeah
32:09it's been so long
32:10oh my goodness
32:11oh look at you
32:13i've been meaning to call you for weeks
32:15things were so messy when you left
32:17honestly i was close to quitting
32:18mm-hmm
32:19you're the main reason i love that job
32:20aww that's sweet of you to say
32:23how are you?
32:24how's the chef?
32:25oh
32:26we broke up
32:27oh
32:28he moved to the west coast
32:29and i couldn't go
32:30because i'm
32:31mercy street promoted me
32:35oh
32:38um
32:40you know what
32:43you're a star
32:44i'm glad that they see that
32:46should we have some bubbly to celebrate?
32:48on it
32:49oh
32:50thanks
32:51you're welcome
32:52cheers
32:53cheers
32:54cheers
32:55cheers
32:56cheers
32:57i'll see you later
32:58it's good to see you
32:59yeah
33:01cheers
33:02cheers
33:03cheers
33:04cheers
33:06two taste cakes
33:08hey how's it going?
33:09oh i don't know
33:11some days are just a lot
33:13mm-hmm
33:15i felt like i was always the guy that was
33:17keeping all the fires burning
33:19i was the dad
33:20he was the bar owner
33:22strange husband
33:23but
33:24now
33:25it's like i don't even know where those fires are
33:28are there fires?
33:30what is fire?
33:31yeah right
33:33you know earlier today
33:34someone told me you have to let people help you
33:37i think that's easier when you're paying those people
33:40have you tried therapy?
33:42nah
33:43i've been avoiding that route for a while
33:45it might help
33:47i'm usually mad at my therapist for being right
33:50she's great
33:51hmm
33:52well
33:53maybe i should give it a shot
33:55hmm
33:56would you mind sharing her name?
33:57of course
33:59now i won't feel as bad for being late to your party
34:01please
34:02it's one less person shouting happy birthday at me
34:05that's the gift
34:07that's really interesting
34:10well
34:11that was my landlord
34:13the inspector found black mold in my apartment
34:16oh my god
34:18well
34:19i guess i'll be staying with you a little longer
34:22oh
34:24oh wow
34:26i guess the next round's on me
34:28hey
34:30go for it
34:31let's go
34:33oh
34:34you can't breathe
34:35it's just gonna do it
34:37toasty
34:39oh
34:41what's a nice
34:45oh
34:46too
34:50it's a lot isn't it yeah i'm pretty tired and i wish i could lay down come on
35:13are you making sure i don't jet this time nah you're too knackered to be a flight risk
35:26i present to you your sofa best birthday gift ever
35:31okay oh wow wow yeah
35:48this is perfect thank you
35:50and for you sir okay who's next could i do a non-stop
36:05a vodka soda lime twist and for you aria okay
36:13is that you yeah
36:15i'm carrie
36:24you're with fessy i saw you talking to chris i didn't realize she was basically my mentor
36:31so if chris is a fan you've got to be special hit me up i'd love to chat
36:45do you want another one or how are you
36:57i'm wanting to grow maybe
37:03good morning oh yeah hi i made you coffee wow
37:08have you seen my wife little thing voice of an angel never gets up before the crack of
37:1710 if i'm being polite i don't want to take the chance
37:21i need to get these ideas down thank you you're welcome
37:31wanting to love
37:35and just like that mom all right now okay
37:43you know micah one of these days you're not gonna win oh
37:49today's not the day today is not that day oh boy okay let me show you
38:09how are you
38:30hey how's it going
38:32kind of awesome, actually.
38:35You got a second?
38:36Yeah, yeah, I do.
38:37But first, someone wants to talk to you.
38:42Hey, Auntie Mom.
38:44Hey, Finn.
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