- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Quick! Everybody get in here!
00:02This better be good.
00:03You know how we shouldn't give PJ screen time?
00:07Yeah, not until he's at least 18 months.
00:10Well, guess what? He's now 18 months!
00:12Where are you going with this?
00:13Right here. You set PJ down,
00:15and then you turn on all the screens,
00:18and PJ becomes so entertained,
00:20leaving us to do whatever we want.
00:23What could possibly go wrong?
00:25That's way too many speakers.
00:27That's way too many screens.
00:29And he's way too close.
00:31You just press the button,
00:33and voila!
00:41It's a work in progress.
00:43Yes, I can love you, baby,
00:47all night long.
00:51I'm not gonna lie.
00:57I'm feeling a little bitchy today.
01:01Everybody's getting on my nerves for no damn reason.
01:05See what I mean? Someone's calling.
01:07The hell do you want?
01:09Quit your bitchin' and start me Gwetchin'.
01:13Ah, shut up Rita.
01:15I'll remember that.
01:17Yeah, yeah, you remember everything.
01:19Guess what? Instead of a song, here's some audio for when the treaties were signed.
01:23Does Soto hereby surrender all rights to the land to Her Majesty the Queen and her successors?
01:31Play with him better, Stephen Harper!
01:33Use better sound effects!
01:35Sorry, Paul.
01:37I barely slept last night.
01:39PJ kept me up all night.
01:41Look, PJ, a real truck, and not some cheap knockoff like Stephen Harper's.
01:47I can't believe my fuckin' eyes.
01:53I love trucks more than you.
01:55I fuckin' love trucks.
01:57What are you three pervs lookin' at?
01:59PJ!
02:00Stop steering so hard.
02:03Oh, he sure loves trucks.
02:06I wish PJ would look at me the same way he looks at those water trucks.
02:10If I drove one of those, I'd be so cool.
02:13I think they're hiring.
02:15Imagine me, the water keeper.
02:18Did you guys see what I was thinking about?
02:26Do you mean, did we see your imagination?
02:30I look so cool.
02:36Chickadee?
02:38Poof, I stinks like corn chips and old man in here.
02:42Whatever.
02:44Olé, just fuckin' missin' her or what?
02:47Oh, sorry.
02:51You okay?
02:52Yeah, I'm fine.
02:55You're fine?
02:58Is that why you're playing Legends of Mokkibi?
03:00Echoes of Sadness?
03:02She said I was immature.
03:04That I'm wasting my life and not doing anything with my talent.
03:08Can you believe that?
03:09Me?
03:10Wasting my life?
03:12Bonus points for ugly crying.
03:14You know what?
03:15Why don't you come to work with me?
03:17Get your mind off her.
03:18Nah, I'm good.
03:19Come on.
03:20Remember your mom used to take you to work with her?
03:22And he'd spin on that wobbly old office chair and prank call lips?
03:25That was a pretty deadly chair.
03:27Still there.
03:28Still wobbly.
03:29You in?
03:30Okay, fine.
03:31But I'm only going for the chair.
03:34Fuck!
03:35My character just cheered up and took a shower.
03:39And you know what else I heard?
03:41No.
03:42What?
03:43Norma's niece and Eldon's cousin were in Thelma's truck and they were just going at it.
03:50What?
03:51Those two?
03:52And that's not the worst of it.
03:55Get this.
03:56So apparently...
03:57BJ's up for Miss Knapp?
04:00Beka!
04:01There's more.
04:02It's just getting good.
04:03Mmm.
04:04Oh!
04:05So sleepy.
04:06I could have let him sleep longer, but I needed to see him.
04:18As I was saying, she's shacked up with Jessie, who's Eldon's uncle.
04:25No, wait.
04:26Uh, now I'm all messed up.
04:30Still smells like a new baby.
04:32Paul still smells like that too.
04:34Paul remember that.
04:36So precious.
04:37I could cry.
04:39Really applying for the job, eh?
04:42Paul, the working man.
04:44Shut up, Stephen Harper.
04:45Can't you see I'm busy working on my resume?
04:48Funny how a guy who never wants to drink water wants to be water guy.
04:51That's the worst part about juice.
04:53We've got a lot of pictures here.
04:55What's this?
04:56Well, that's a stick man with big muscles, which shows that I have lots of strength.
05:00Where's your work experience?
05:01Didn't need it.
05:02I thought that it killed the vibe, man.
05:04No practical skill set?
05:05Well, you see this?
05:06Here's a picture, and it shows smoke coming out of my brain, which shows that I'm really
05:11smart.
05:12Could use some actual words.
05:13Well, if you're so smart, you do it then.
05:17How about instead of the smoking brain, we say that you utilize a set of complex analytical
05:23tasks to solve a lot of problems?
05:25Ah.
05:26So you're going to draw me as a stick figure in a truck, jumping over a mountain.
05:29Nice.
05:30Let's put on a pot of Pepsi.
05:32We're going to be here a while.
05:38Yes!
05:39I win again.
05:40All right.
05:41Let's get to business.
05:42Hilda, can you read the agenda?
05:44Yeah, no problem.
05:46Just keep six.
05:49Okay.
05:52We would like to commission a painting so that when people walk into the band office, first
05:58thing they see is some beautiful art.
06:01Yes!
06:02The band office needs an album cover.
06:05Something that captures the spirit of our community.
06:07I think Chickadee should do it.
06:10Oh, one sec.
06:11Once like everything's spinning.
06:12You have to admit, her painting of lips was really something.
06:16Does it have to hang here?
06:17I think Chickadee would be perfect for this.
06:20Right, Chickadee?
06:21Uh, no.
06:22I'm not doing it.
06:23Got big, big stuff in the works.
06:28Let me work on her.
06:33Well, I'll give it to you.
06:34These drawings are impressive.
06:36Is that you showing strength?
06:38Yep.
06:39And initiative, too.
06:42And the smoking brain.
06:44Very good.
06:45You can sit.
06:49Since you're so smart, tell me what it is we do here at the water department.
06:54Well, uh, you drive around in your water trucks delivering water to people's tanks with your hoses.
07:02And you fill them up.
07:04And then you do it again.
07:05Over.
07:06And over.
07:07And over again.
07:08Going house.
07:09To house.
07:11To house.
07:17Is that what you think?
07:19Yeah.
07:20Right, you pass the interview.
07:21You get through training.
07:22The job's yours.
07:29Oh, he's got such a cute little nose.
07:34Don't mind me and my gnosis.
07:36Oh, he's such cute little cheeks.
07:39And so much hair.
07:41A full head of hair.
07:43My daughter needed me to watch him at the last minute.
07:47Well, PJ has long hair, too.
07:50Agnes, keep it down.
07:53We're trying to admire Rita's gnosis.
07:56He's got way more hair than PJ.
07:58If it's a baby war you want, it's a baby war you'll get.
08:15I thought you had big stuff to do.
08:17I do.
08:19I made my own gaming gloves.
08:21Now I can game and eat chips at the same time without the grease causing the controller to fly out my hands.
08:28I'm like an inventor.
08:33You know, if you did that commissioned painting, you could make some cash and maybe stretch those talent muscles.
08:41Mm-hmm.
08:42You're not gonna do it, are you?
08:43No.
08:44Okay, then.
08:46I guess Serena was right about you and all that wasted talent.
08:51But, hey, whatever.
08:54I'll just get lips to do it.
08:57He's really good at shading.
08:59Are you trying to reverse psychology me?
09:03Because it worked.
09:04Now I'm gonna do it.
09:05Uh, okay.
09:07Great.
09:08Fuck, I hate lips.
09:13I need to make some adjustments.
09:16Yo, Trudy!
09:18Yeah!
09:19It's the Trudes!
09:21Judge Trudy!
09:26Anyway, I went ahead and I printed out tomorrow's work schedule.
09:33Oh, that's great.
09:35Oh.
09:36Oh.
09:38Looks like you dropped it.
09:39That's okay.
09:40I printed out a second one.
09:46But without that, we won't know which house to deliver to first.
09:50Yo, Trudy!
09:52Trude!
09:53Judge Trudy!
09:54Hey, Bruce!
09:56Check it.
09:58This is a limited edition garlic coil.
10:01This has twice the sodium amount as any other coil.
10:05I heard this stuff is illegal in several provinces.
10:11Yeah, it's good.
10:14I should say you'll get your water first.
10:16Yeah.
10:19But...
10:21What about the schedule?
10:22But what about the schedule?
10:23But what about the schedule?
10:30Don't worry your sweet little cheeks.
10:37Alright.
10:38Let's go fill up some more tanks.
10:40Not so fast.
10:42I heard you don't drink water.
10:44No. Lies.
10:45I can tell.
10:46Your dry skin.
10:48Your sunken eyes.
10:50And your dusty ass lips.
10:52Plus you didn't flush the break room toilet.
10:54Your piss was brown.
10:55No way.
10:56That was because of the ISD.
10:57I promise.
10:59You wanna ride with me?
11:01You're gonna have to get wet.
11:03Yeah.
11:04Come on.
11:05You're not supposed to get high on your own supply.
11:08You wanna be a good water truck driver?
11:10You have to drink and love water.
11:13Take a sip.
11:17No.
11:19You're supposed to drink eight a day.
11:21Take.
11:22A.
11:23Sip.
11:25Alright.
11:26I'll take a sip.
11:40Hey man.
11:46What was in that?
11:48It's H2O bro.
11:49I'm talking sky juice.
11:52I feel weird.
11:54It's the hydration kicking.
11:56I feel all fuzz.
11:57I need a.
11:58I need a.
11:59I need a.
12:00I need a Pepsi.
12:01Not cool.
12:02It should be really cool.
12:03Like something you'd see airbrushed on the side of an old shag van.
12:17What if the painting was romantic?
12:19Like lots of nature and romance.
12:21I think it should be badass.
12:23Dudes and hot steel.
12:25Something off the cover of a romance novel.
12:28But like really romantic.
12:30A real piece of art that says hey don't fuck with me.
12:32But keep my jeet out of this.
12:34Shut up Cheeks.
12:35Make it cool.
12:36But also romantic.
12:37With a bad attitude.
12:38And no jeets.
12:39Shut up Cheeks.
12:40Got this chickadee?
12:41Uh yeah.
12:47Oh hi Rita.
12:48PJ just had his checkup.
12:51Nurse says that he's as healthy as a horse.
12:55Healthier actually.
12:56Mine too.
12:57He's so healthy he's gonna break Logan's stethoscopes.
13:01Guess what?
13:03PJ had a hair growth spurt last night.
13:06What?
13:07There's no such thing as a hair growth spurt.
13:09I knew it.
13:10Kita shanima PJ.
13:12I don't know what you're talking about.
13:15We're here because he's so healthy.
13:18They're studying him to help other babies.
13:21Hey.
13:22What's all this kerfuffle?
13:24It's pediatric Wednesdays.
13:26Come on happy voices only.
13:27Agnes put a wig on her notion.
13:30Nurse tell her that's dangerous.
13:32No I never did.
13:34Hooray let's just calm down.
13:36Hey here.
13:38Got some cook'em candies.
13:41Old people mince.
13:43Nina get this.
13:46Fine.
13:58Alright big fella, it's training day.
14:00Listen with your mouth and shut up with your ears.
14:03How do I shut up with my ears?
14:05Okay here she comes.
14:10You got the stuff?
14:11Yeah I got the stuff.
14:13It's fresh just like you asked for.
14:15I'm gonna go fill up the cake.
14:17I said listen with your mouth.
14:19You say it's fresh eh?
14:25Looks like we just ran out of water.
14:27Tastes fine to me.
14:29Wait what?
14:30We had a deal.
14:31Tell that to your crappy bannock.
14:33I'm sorry people.
14:34Your bannock wasn't that bad.
14:36The fuck did you get peanut butter?
14:42Okay.
14:43Here it is.
14:50This part?
14:51Rules.
14:52These other parts?
14:53Meh.
14:54So you just like your part?
14:56Huh.
14:57I guess so.
14:58I see what Dee Dee's saying.
15:01This part here I really like.
15:03As for the rest, what's going on?
15:06So you only like your part?
15:07Oh look at that.
15:09I guess so.
15:10These two parts are ruining this part.
15:14This part is great.
15:15So you only like your part?
15:17Huh.
15:18Look at that.
15:19I guess so.
15:20Well I kinda like how my jeet was left off all three parts.
15:22Shut your lips Cheeks.
15:25Politics aside, my part is the best.
15:27You would say that.
15:28My part is the best.
15:30My part is the best.
15:31Okay enough.
15:32I tried to make you all happy.
15:34I really did.
15:35I took all your ideas, your scattered, mismatched ideas and put them together.
15:39But none of this works.
15:40It's a mess.
15:41What if it's just my part?
15:42No.
15:43I'm gonna do it my way.
15:45Got it?
15:46Got it.
15:47Got it.
15:48Wow.
15:49You just pulled a Joe.
15:50Fucking right.
15:54You want a little toy car, Pete?
15:56You want a car, PJ?
15:57You want a car too?
15:58You want a car too?
15:59You want a car too?
16:00You want a car too?
16:01Well I hope that he enjoys it.
16:02PJ's getting a boat too.
16:03Well enjoy that boat.
16:04My grandkid's getting a plane.
16:05PJ's getting one too.
16:06Oh, the very expensive one.
16:07Oh yeah?
16:08Well then you're not going to have any money left over for a kayak.
16:09Hey Gene, I want that one.
16:10All right.
16:11I want one too.
16:12Whoa!
16:13Two kayaks?
16:14You know what?
16:15I'll take two.
16:16Three kayaks?
16:17Well, I have so many grandkids.
16:18Not just this one.
16:19Actual babies.
16:20Not old ones like Chickadee.
16:22She's still a baby Ange to me.
16:23And you are too.
16:24You're calling me a baby Ange?
16:25I don't have any money left over for a kayak.
16:26Hey Gene, I want that one.
16:29All right.
16:30I want one too.
16:31Whoa!
16:32Two kayaks?
16:33You know what?
16:35I'll take two.
16:36Three kayaks?
16:37Well, I have so many grandkids.
16:40Not just this one.
16:42Actual babies.
16:43Not old ones like Chickadee.
16:46She's still a baby Ange to me.
16:49And you are too.
16:50You're calling me a baby Ange?
16:52Baby.
16:53Whoa!
16:54Am I smelling four kayaks?
17:00Shit's about to go down.
17:02What do you mean?
17:03Is she being pulled over there pumping iron with two kids on her foot lawn for some reason?
17:08Yeah.
17:10Check out her shitpost.
17:12Trudy skipped my house again because my bannock wasn't good enough.
17:16Well, fuck that.
17:17I'm storing my water in rain barrels.
17:20Who needs them?
17:21Mwah.
17:22I'm gonna go tip over her rain barrels.
17:24Wait here.
17:26Wait.
17:27What?
17:28I'm not ready to drive the truck.
17:29Are you a wolf or are you a sheep?
17:32It's time to learn.
17:42All right.
17:43This just in.
17:44The Walk for Awareness has stalled in front of Edith's house.
17:49They stopped to get a drink of water from the hose but nothing's coming out.
17:50this just in the walk for awareness has stalled in front of edith's house they stopped to get a
17:56drink of water from the hose but nothing's coming out but without awareness how will we know about
18:02the issues and this just in there's a new walk starting bringing awareness to the plate faced
18:09by the walkers for awareness and now they're thirsty where are those water keepers when you
18:15need him he's right here get her get back here
18:30thank you water man now we can continue to bring awareness to the issues i'm no water man in fact
18:36after today i don't even know if i have a job you you think he's the water keeper well he ain't oh
18:43hey okay i'm putting water cases on all you we want paul to be water keeper you think you can do this
18:52shit you think you can do this to me you'll be drinking ditch water from duck bay by the time
18:57i get finished with you stop it ain't got shit on me we want paul paul paul paul paul paul paul paul paul
19:07paul paul paul paul i don't need this job anyways i guess i got the job
19:16i've never worn diapers in my life oh that's not what i heard whoa enough of this nobody wants to hear
19:25your two cookums fighting agnes you take rita's baby rita you take agnes's baby
19:36now look at those kids look at those cute little faces oh he's so precious he's so cute and
19:46mulety good now i want you to raise each grandchild like it was your own for the rest of your life
19:53smarten up i ain't doing that yeah smarten up but i have to say that seeing them together makes me see
20:03that when it comes to being a kokom there's no room for pettiness i feel the same way too
20:10i'm sorry i'm sorry too yeah man let's go to the park okay so i guess you'll be taking all four
20:18kayaks or what wow you really nailed it oh wow told you to trust me what's wrong cheeks
20:34is that my head on a pig's body
20:40oink oink lips you did a great job kid can you at least put pants on the pig
20:51he'll be here any minute my baby boy is a working man here he comes
20:56did someone say they wanted water give us the horn are you sure yes okay
21:07hey anyone looking for a flying baby
21:22i don't need to own a mansion on an acreage
21:41i don't need the green grass tiller in my heart
21:47i don't need the green grass if there's one thing in this life
21:55i could ask for
22:04you
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