- 1 week ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to Lady Ray!
00:17It's an extraordinary feeling to think of something.
00:22You know, off the top of your head that makes people laugh.
00:26It's a gift.
00:30Perfect version of a modern man.
00:35Attractive, very funny, which I think is very important.
00:42P.S. My mum loves you.
00:50And the winner is Lady Bray for Glass Houses.
01:00That is now my mum.
01:01Pick up.
01:03He's trying to get the same thing.
01:05I really don't know him.
01:06He's trying to get the same thing
01:13Who is going to be in Hawaii?
01:15He's trying to get the same thing as I was going to get .
01:49Faggy, Faggy, please. I don't want to go to bed on an argument, especially not about something so stupid as this.
02:04Can we just...
02:05What, sleep?
02:06Yes.
02:07How are we supposed to go to sleep? Well, this will probably be all over sodding papers tomorrow.
02:11You can sleep fine because you know it's all lies. Nothing happened. Nothing happened.
02:18Neighbours don't know that, do they?
02:20I've never even met this woman.
02:22I know that.
02:23Nobody else does.
02:29Are we going to do this every time there's a bogus allegation?
02:33You girl. Bloody ridiculous.
02:44And the cleaner doesn't know it's a lie.
02:45Oh, if we're worried about what the cleaner thinks of us, maybe we shouldn't employ her to clean the house.
02:50What I'm saying is it's humiliating.
02:53I don't even know who this woman is. She could be made up for all I know.
02:56Come on. I can still hate it. I can still hate how attritional it is.
03:03This is like being accused of having an affair with a tooth fairy.
03:06It can still make me feel rubbish.
03:08Look, she's crazy, just like the rest of them.
03:23It's just endless crap.
03:25Years of bullshit.
03:27Every single one of them disappears.
03:29The moment they get a stern letter just pointing out, there's no basis for any of it.
03:34There's no evidence.
03:35Nothing. Nothing happened.
03:39It's all made up.
03:41But the papers don't go with it because I'm me.
03:47Look, these sheets, yeah, they're Egyptian cotton.
03:51They've barely seen our bum cheeks because we've been in the Maldives.
03:54That's the life we have.
03:56And the price we pay for it is these liars and maniacs.
04:01But why am I telling you this? You know this.
04:05You're a psychotherapist, for God's sake.
04:15I'm sorry.
04:21Just let them write it.
04:25Let them write whatever they want.
04:27The TV funny man shags burrito or whatever.
04:35There's never been anyone else.
04:40I tell you every day.
04:44I love you.
04:46Past the edges of time.
04:57What was that?
04:58Shall we press the buzzer?
05:10It's in the kitchen.
05:13Well, you might need something.
05:14It could be dangerous.
05:16You might need help.
05:17Then we should call the police.
05:18Oh, is he around the doorbell?
05:20Yes.
05:20Oh, my God.
05:28Holy shit.
05:31Quick.
05:32Yeah, yeah.
05:33Okay.
05:33Oh, Jesus.
06:00Please.
06:01They attacked me.
06:02Who attacked you?
06:04They took my bike and my phone.
06:07Who?
06:08I don't know.
06:13My phone's upstairs.
06:14I'll call you an ambulance.
06:15No, please.
06:17What do you need?
06:22You're the only one that answered.
06:23Do you want to come in?
06:33Can you stand?
06:38Okay.
06:40Come on.
06:42Let's just...
06:43Let's get you sorted out.
06:47Okay.
06:48Okay.
06:48You can just...
07:02Here, sit here.
07:02Sit here.
07:03Yeah.
07:04Here, sit here.
07:07Sorry.
07:10No, don't be ridiculous.
07:13No, it's late.
07:14Did you hit your head?
07:17Are you bleeding?
07:18I really think we ought to call you an ambulance, you know?
07:21It's okay.
07:23You collapsed.
07:24I think it was just a shock, I don't know.
07:26You might be concussed.
07:28It's just my shoulder.
07:29You sure about that?
07:31I just need some water.
07:35Right, of course, yeah.
07:37It was what?
07:39Was it randoms or...?
07:42I was delivering pizza.
07:45I was going to number 20.
07:46I got the money and they...
07:48They just come out of nowhere.
07:50We should definitely call the police.
07:52I wouldn't have thought they'd be able to do anything.
07:54You've been robbed.
07:55They'll be long gone.
07:56Well, probably, but...
07:57When my flat got broken into, the police, they didn't even turn up.
08:01Oh, yeah, but they're a bit quicker around here, mate.
08:05No.
08:08No, please.
08:11I'll go to the station.
08:14I just need to get my shit together.
08:15No problem.
08:16No, please.
08:21I don't know my licence.
08:24Oh.
08:25It's only part-time to help me pay my way through uni.
08:30I can't afford to lose this job.
08:32Well, you should definitely report it.
08:39I will.
08:39I promise.
08:40And learn to drive.
08:42Yeah.
08:44They can't be allowed to get away with it.
08:46It's fucking feral.
08:48What were they, kids?
08:4917?
08:5018, maybe.
08:51But they were big.
08:53Popped up on Minecraft and balloons.
08:55And they were fast.
08:57Don't you should get that round here.
08:59If there's trouble round here, it's all planning consent for basement pools.
09:02People are going to afford a basement pool.
09:04They don't usually kick your head in.
09:05Could have done without them stealing my shoes.
09:08Yeah, why would they do that?
09:10Don't know.
09:11They're old as well.
09:13All the leather's coming off.
09:15Maybe they're mending them.
09:17Maybe they're feral cobblers.
09:18There you go.
09:19Can I get you a shirt, or...?
09:24Mm-mm.
09:26Yeah.
09:27Yeah, please.
09:28If you don't mind.
09:30Yeah, I could stretch to a shirt.
09:31I've got some old trainers here somewhere.
09:33If I can find them.
09:34I don't know where anything is.
09:35They're clean and move things around like a mouse.
09:38Without the incontinence.
09:39I don't know where anything is.
10:09I don't know where anything is.
10:10I don't know where anything is.
10:11I don't know where anything is.
10:12I don't know where anything is.
10:13I don't know where anything is.
10:14I don't know where anything is.
10:15I don't know where anything is.
10:16I don't know where anything is.
10:17I don't know where anything is.
10:18I don't know where anything is.
10:19I don't know where anything is.
10:20I don't know where anything is.
10:21I don't know where anything is.
10:22I don't know where anything is.
10:23I don't know where anything is.
10:24I don't know where anything is.
10:25I don't know where anything is.
10:26I don't know where anything is.
10:27I don't know where anything is.
10:28I don't know where anything is.
10:29I don't know where anything is.
10:30I don't know where anything is.
10:31Oh. Oh. Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
10:46Hi. Found one. Jumped by some kids out delivering pizza.
10:52God, who was it? Teenage mutant ninja wankers.
10:57Jesus, are you hurt?
11:00It's okay.
11:02What do you need?
11:04I'm fine, honestly.
11:05You don't look great.
11:07Take aim for your money. She's just coming for your self-esteem.
11:09I didn't mean that. I mean, we should call an ambulance.
11:12It's just my shoulder.
11:14You collapsed.
11:17Just shot. I'm feeling...
11:19Okay, did you call the police?
11:21No. I can do that for you.
11:23Wait. He's gonna go to the station when he's got his breath back.
11:33Right.
11:38Did he give you food? Would you like a sandwich?
11:41How quickly do you think I can make a sandwich?
11:44Oh, wait. Cream.
11:45In a sandwich?
11:46Antiseptic for the cuts.
11:48Please. You don't have to do anything.
11:50Nonsense. Let me make you a sandwich.
11:53Okay. If it's not too much trouble.
11:55What do we have? You like kimchi?
11:58He's a victim of violence. He's not a mystery diner.
12:06Just ignore his bad jokes. I do. Daily.
12:13Don't slice that too fit. You'll ruin a sandwich.
12:15For a minute we thought you were a crazy fan or something.
12:27Like New York?
12:28Yeah. He was intense.
12:30Showed up at like one in the morning.
12:33Not like three. He wouldn't leave.
12:35Made me sign his arse.
12:45Oh, my God. You're Lenny Bray.
12:51Oh, I'm sorry.
12:52It's all right, honestly.
12:55I didn't realize that you were... you.
12:58Oh, well...
12:59My head's... my head's all...
13:03In your defense, I wasn't this fat 25 years ago.
13:06Um, I like your show.
13:08I mean, I've only seen a few episodes.
13:11You're forgiven on the grounds that you were a child when I made them.
13:14That's true.
13:16Well, I'd like to be reminded of my own mortality.
13:20I mean, you're probably tired of hearing this all the time,
13:22but they were really funny.
13:25You're joking.
13:26If he doesn't hear it three times a day, he gets IBS.
13:31I like the American version, too.
13:32Oh.
13:33Because it was funnier.
13:35Yeah, well, pay for this house.
13:37And your bee venom facials.
13:40Why don't you show him the wall?
13:53Oh, no.
13:54People like it.
13:55It has all his, um, memorabilia and silly trophies.
14:00Come on.
14:02He's had a dreadful evening.
14:04It would be cool.
14:06I'd like to be reminded of how fantastic I was.
14:10Uh, okay.
14:11Just quickly, though.
14:12Oh, wow.
14:13Nice to have you.
14:14Nice to have.
14:36Oh, wow.
14:37Nice to have.
14:47These are the people you made that show with?
14:50Finally, last day, I think.
14:53That's amazing.
14:55Good memories.
14:57People really loved that show, huh?
14:59I've been lucky.
15:00Lucky.
15:10Lenny, is it true that you wrote that first one by hand?
15:13What?
15:14The script for the first episode.
15:18Yeah.
15:23Your sandwich will be...
15:24Can I get an autograph?
15:26Is that still a thing?
15:27It's like getting smallpox, innit?
15:28Well, I don't have a phone.
15:30People won't believe that I've met you otherwise.
15:34Okay.
15:40Can you write me a message?
15:42Sure, yeah.
15:44Who to?
15:46Ben.
15:49So...
15:50Sorry you got beaten up on my robe, Ben.
15:52They probably latched wrong for other figures.
15:55Or, like...
15:56I can never forget a day like this.
16:04Or, you know, something...
16:05We could do a photo on Maggie's phone.
16:15And then send it on.
16:16And then you can get going.
16:17And then you can get going.
16:18And then you can get going.
16:27I found the good cheese.
16:28The cheddar had a full head of hair on it.
16:29Great.
16:30Um...
16:31Maybe you could put that in a Tupperware.
16:40Um...
16:41Um...
16:42He, uh...
16:43Ben would...
16:44Like it's a quick photograph.
16:45And we could send that on.
16:46Right.
16:48Um...
16:49Um...
16:50Um...
16:51He, uh...
16:52Ben would...
16:53Like it's a quick photograph.
16:54And we could send that on.
16:55Right.
16:56Ready?
16:57Ready?
16:58Oh, that's lovely.
16:59Yeah.
17:00Oh, that's lovely.
17:01Yeah.
17:02I'm sure you can get that.
17:03Yeah.
17:04Um...
17:05Maybe you can put that in a Tupperware.
17:07Um...
17:08He, uh...
17:09Ben would...
17:10Like it's a quick photograph.
17:11And we could send that on.
17:12Oh, that's lovely.
17:13Okay.
17:14Uh, can we get one more for safety?
17:15No, I think we've got it.
17:16I blinked.
17:33Sure.
17:37One, two, three.
17:40Yes.
17:42Perfect.
17:43Can I see it?
17:44Um, sure.
17:45And, um, you can also just put your email in there.
17:48Yeah.
17:49And I can get you those trainers now, yeah?
17:53So what are you, a nine or a ten or...?
17:55What if they come back?
17:56Who, the, um...
17:57The people that attacked me.
17:59Well, then we should call the police.
18:00They can't help.
18:01Well, they might.
18:02They can't.
18:03Then we should, um, call the delivery people
18:05and see if they can send somebody.
18:09It's an Indian restaurant and they'll be closed by now.
18:12Not pizza?
18:15Not pizza?
18:27Okay.
18:28It's all right.
18:29I'm just gonna grab some trainers now, and then we can be done.
18:34Okay?
18:35Hey.
18:36And it's been really great to meet you.
18:39And I'd love to talk some more, but it is late now.
18:42And, you know, I need my funny stick.
18:45Oh.
18:46Okay.
18:47All right.
18:48Listen.
18:49I'm really honoured that you love this show.
18:50Okay?
18:51I really...
18:52I mean that.
18:53I really mean that.
18:54It means a lot.
18:55But...
18:56When people are on TV, you know, sometimes it's easy to forget that they're behind it all.
19:03You know?
19:04They're just ordinary.
19:06And they can get scared.
19:08Yeah?
19:09And I don't want anyone to be scared.
19:11Now...
19:12No!
19:13Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
19:14Okay.
19:15Okay.
19:16We can...
19:17We could do some more photos, yeah?
19:18You could take...
19:19Take some stuff.
19:20Oh!
19:21Oh!
19:22Oh!
19:23Oh!
19:24Oh!
19:25Oh!
19:26Oh!
19:27Oh!
19:28Oh!
19:29Oh!
19:30Oh!
19:31Oh!
19:32Oh!
19:33Oh!
19:34Oh!
19:35Oh!
19:36Oh!
19:37Oh!
19:38Oh!
19:39Oh!
19:40Oh!
19:41Oh!
19:42Oh!
19:43Andrew, you hurt him!
19:44Don't hurt him, please!
19:46Please!
19:47Don't hurt him, please!
19:49Your phone.
19:50What?
19:51Where?
19:52In the bedroom.
19:54You don't need to do this.
19:56Please.
19:57I'd choose what happened.
19:58Okay.
19:59Okay.
20:00Okay.
20:01Please.
20:02I'd choose what happened!
20:04Okay.
20:05Oh!
20:06Okay.
20:07Please.
20:08I'd choose what happened!
20:09Okay.
20:10All right, choose what happens now.
20:12Okay.
20:20Go!
20:40Go!
21:10Go!
21:19Get down.
21:28Hey, Ben. Ben.
21:30I know it might not feel like it, but things can still go well.
21:34And maybe you don't believe me, but you should.
21:38You should.
21:40I'm sorry.
21:41No, you're not.
21:42Why would I not be sorry?
21:44Because I just tied you up.
21:46Ben. Ben.
21:47Please talk to me.
21:49Why did you come here?
22:00Hey. Hey.
22:01I'm listening.
22:02Okay?
22:10No one ever listens to me.
22:14Who doesn't listen to you?
22:17Ben, please talk to me.
22:18No!
22:20Hey.
22:21Hey, I'm just...
22:22I'm just asking a question, okay?
22:24You don't get to ask me questions.
22:25Right, okay.
22:26Okay, but...
22:27Let's not rush things here.
22:29Right?
22:32All my life...
22:34Who has ever listened to me?
22:35I'm listening to you.
22:36I'm listening to you.
22:37I'm listening to you right now.
22:45When I was four, I got my first new family.
22:48When I cried, because I was scared because I wanted my mum, you know what they did?
23:00They put me in the furthest room.
23:03My mum at the heavy door.
23:08They couldn't hear me from there.
23:10That sounds like an awful experience.
23:12And not one of them cared about a single thing that ever came out of my mouth.
23:18And is that why you're here?
23:20Revenge.
23:22You want revenge on the world somehow?
23:24Because if that is, then I totally understand.
23:27The world hasn't been that nice to you, but do you think this is gonna help?
23:30Hurting us.
23:34Is that who you think I am?
23:38I think we can all be pushed to revenge if somebody hurts us, but...
23:42The question is, can we stop ourselves?
23:45Shall we stop ourselves?
23:53Where's the script?
23:55What?
23:56The script. The first one. The first one that you wrote.
23:59Is that... is that what this is about?
24:01Is that what you want?
24:05What? You want a memento? Like a fucking souvenir?
24:08Lenny.
24:09You break my house.
24:10You bust my ribs.
24:11You scare my wife.
24:12Lenny.
24:13For that.
24:15What? So you could show it off so it'd be like a fan?
24:17Lenny.
24:18Where is the fucking script?
24:20I'm listening to you.
24:21I'm listening to you right now.
24:22No, it's in the safe. It's in the safe, in the office.
24:27It's...
24:29It's...
24:312-0...
24:332-3...
24:342-3-0-4-8-1.
24:37Just take it.
24:39Take it.
24:41Take whatever you want and go.
24:422-0-4-1.
24:43Let's leave.
24:44Oh!
24:45No!
24:47Oh!
24:48hit him.
24:50OH!
24:51areded.
24:57What?
24:58I'm going to go press the button.
24:59Maggie!
25:00Maggie!
25:01What if he comes back for me?
25:02I'm going to get her some help.
25:28Thanks!
25:58Oh, my God.
26:28I don't know.
26:51Shit.
26:58Come on, come on.
27:28Come on.
27:58Come on.
28:28Come on.
28:58Come on.
29:00Come on.
29:02Come on.
29:04Come on.
29:08Come on.
29:10Come on.
29:12Come on.
29:14Come on.
29:16Come on.
29:24Come on.
29:26Come on.
29:28Come on.
29:30Come on.
29:34Come on.
29:36Come on.
29:38Come on.
29:40Come on.
29:42Come on.
29:44Come on.
29:46Come on.
29:48Come on.
29:50Come on.
29:52Come on.
29:54Come on.
29:56Come on.
29:58Come on.
30:00Come on.
30:02Come on.
30:06Come on.
30:08Come on.
30:10Come on.
30:12Come on.
30:14Come on.
30:16Come on.
30:18Come on.
30:20You should go now, I've just pressed the alarm and the police are coming, they are on their way right now!
30:33No one's come in.
30:56It's okay.
31:03It's okay.
31:33I'm sorry.
31:56Look, you've got what you want. Just leave us alone, please.
32:11I'm used to people wanting me to go away.
32:14Oh, I can't think why.
32:17By the time I was 18, I'd had so many names, I didn't know who I was anymore.
32:23Must have knocked on a hundred doors asking to see my case files, trying to find out.
32:30They said they lost them.
32:33And they were burnt in a fire.
32:36I'm sorry that happened to you.
32:43The system contorts to protect itself.
32:46I said get out!
32:51Must have worked with a lot of people on that show.
32:58Yeah.
33:00Hundreds.
33:03Cast.
33:05Crew.
33:06Takes a lot of hands on deck to make something like that.
33:09Well, because of something you made up.
33:12That's a big responsibility.
33:15Nature of the beast.
33:18Nature of the beast.
33:22Tell me you're not one of those internet tossbots who doesn't like the ending.
33:30You want me to rewrite it?
33:32Like fucking misery.
33:33Is that what this is about?
33:38They're not commodities, are they?
33:40What?
33:41These people.
33:42You might get out, move on to the next thing, walk away.
33:45But if you used that, they'd get hurt.
33:50I don't know what this is about.
33:51You want me to confess to, what, being a prick?
33:56Being a showbiz prick?
33:58Someone who was nasty to your favourite characters.
34:01You want to cancel me?
34:04Okay, right.
34:05You're right.
34:07Throw a canapé into a room full of people I work with,
34:11you're probably going to hit someone I was a wanker to.
34:14You know, actors, directors, producers.
34:17Everything you've heard is probably true.
34:20Is that what you want to hear?
34:24The rich man regrets things.
34:28Well, if it makes you happy, then yeah, why not?
34:32I regret it.
34:33But I was just trying to make something good, you know?
34:36And maybe you're here because I did.
34:38I got my case files in the end.
34:57A lot of the pages were black.
34:58There was so much stuff redacted.
35:00But they get a picture of my mum.
35:02Only one I've got.
35:06And...
35:09It was this.
35:13When she wrote this, I could barely write my own name.
35:19Do you remember her?
35:20I don't know what you're talking about.
35:24Production assistant.
35:26First series.
35:27Make coffee, probably.
35:28Fetch lunch.
35:29You said yourself.
35:30I work with a lot of people.
35:34I think.
35:35You remember my mother.
35:37What?
35:38Untie me.
35:39And we can go through my contacts.
35:41How about that?
35:46Her name...
35:48was Nell.
35:59You don't remember her?
36:01Who was that?
36:02Apparently someone who handed me an almond croissant a quarter of a century ago.
36:07She knew you.
36:09A lot of people know me.
36:10Yeah, but she wrote about you.
36:12A lot of people write about me.
36:17One minute he says he loves me.
36:21And the next, he's so terrible, I feel like he'd rather I was dead.
36:26Is this a joke?
36:27I don't even know her.
36:28And I know all the reasons why I should live.
36:32But I can't do it anymore.
36:35Leonard.
36:36I swear.
36:37I remember her taking me to your set.
36:40I definitely remember being excited.
36:43Being happy.
36:44How long did it take you to ruin all that?
36:52Because...
36:54She wrote this letter a year after you made that shot.
36:59No, no.
37:00Um, that's impossible.
37:01We were together then, Leonard.
37:02What is this?
37:03It's just another liar wanting something he's not gonna get.
37:06Go on.
37:07Take the script.
37:08You could take whatever you want and get out.
37:14She says you told her to do it.
37:17She says you told her maybe she should end it.
37:20If being with you was making her so sad.
37:23Come on.
37:27Is that what you did?
37:28No.
37:30Did she tell her to do it?
37:32Look, I'm sorry to ruin your sad story.
37:35I don't even remember meeting your mother.
37:37Never mind falling in love with her.
37:38I sometimes wonder if...
37:54I was in the room when she wrote this.
38:02Ben?
38:03I'm so, so sorry for what happened to you.
38:14I know it's tough.
38:16I sometimes wonder if...
38:19If you meant for me to read this one day.
38:22But you have to understand that a lot of people say things about Lenny that just aren't true.
38:27And these lies we just have to deal with.
38:30Even if it's hard.
38:33Maybe that's why she wrote it on the back of this.
38:37Hey, Nelly.
38:39Sorry I had to leave so early.
38:43I just wanted to let you know.
38:45I could never forget a day like this.
38:52Did you write that?
38:54Of course I didn't.
38:55Then why is it in your handwriting?
39:00Is this truly how pathetic and greedy you actually are?
39:03You think you could make me pay you to go away with this horse shit?
39:08I just said that you loved her if the opposite was true.
39:11Leonard.
39:12I never said anything of the sort.
39:13I love you past the edges of time.
39:43Did you tell her to do it?
39:44Did you tell her to do it?
39:48Tell her to me!
39:52Did you tell her to do it?
39:54I'll tell you what's not in your case file.
40:00Your mother was a fruitcake.
40:05Yeah.
40:07I just told her to shit or get off the pot if she's so unhappy.
40:10And you know what?
40:14I did her a favor.
40:15Shut up!
40:17I know I did because...
40:19I was there when it happened.
40:20I don't need a fuck for free!
40:21I don't need a fuck for free!
40:23I don't need a fuck for free!
40:25I don't need a fuck for free!
40:39So yes, I do remember your pathetic little mother.
40:46I remember her look in her eyes.
40:48I remember the look in her eyes.
40:54Almost...
40:56It almost looked like a smile.
41:13You choose what happens.
41:15You choose what happens.
41:18You choose what happens.
41:20You choose.
41:22You choose what happens.
41:29It's okay.
41:30It's gonna be okay.
41:46Maggie!
41:48Yeah.
41:50Yeah.
41:51Yeah, cut them.
41:53Cut them.
41:54Maggie.
41:56Yeah, yeah.
41:57Cut the ties.
42:00Maggie, what are you doing?
42:02What are you doing?
42:11Oh, no!
42:12I'm telling the police what happened.
42:27What I found when I came out of the shower.
42:30When I came out of the shower.
42:35You...
42:38Attacking...
42:40This young man.
42:43Because he came here to find out...
42:45The truth about his mother.
42:47And I stopped it.
42:48I stopped it.
42:52Shh...
43:00Maggie...
43:02Shh...
43:12Maggie...
43:13Don't...
43:14You know what this will do to me.
43:15You know what this will do to me.
43:31Shh...
43:32Thank you for calling 999.
43:44What's your emergency?
43:55And if you've been affected by the issues covered tonight...
43:57Find information and support at channel5.com slash helplines.
44:05Next week, Play for Today dives into the pressure of teaching.
44:09A dodgy Ofsted report is just the start in Special Measures next Thursday at 9.
44:14In just a moment, The Philpot Fire, a very British horror story.
44:17arten 5
44:22Alice
44:246
44:2921
44:3122
44:3222
44:3422
44:3523
44:4224
44:4325
44:4323
44:4424
44:4525
Be the first to comment