- 2 minutes ago
joe
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PeopleTranscript
00:00Oh, no. You don't want to do that.
00:08Yes, she does. That ruffle skirt looks so fetch.
00:14Are you demented? That skirt was, like, two sizes too small.
00:19Do you mind? We're trying to break last month's sales record.
00:25So wrong.
00:27What's your damage, Nikki?
00:28You're supposed to be selling.
00:30Just look what she's wearing.
00:36They're braiding.
00:40Oh, do you know what outfit would be so great on you?
00:43The wide-legged crop pants with the lavender tank?
00:46You must have, like, ESPN.
00:49I'm here to drop off my resume.
00:52I'm Kirsten. This is Kristen, and that's Chrissy.
00:55Hi.
00:55Hi.
00:57Hi.
00:57Oh, my gosh. Those are such cute capris, Kristen.
01:00Oh, no. I love your skirt.
01:03Me, too. Chrissy, don't you just love Ashley's skirt?
01:06It's so totally cute.
01:08Way off the cut-o-meter.
01:09We love meeting people just like us.
01:12You're, like, exactly like us.
01:15I know, right?
01:16Have a cow, why don't you?
01:27Oh, I know.
01:28She has, like, ten cows a week.
01:30Life begins after school.
01:42That's when we bend all the rules.
01:43Time to hang with all my friends.
01:46We like to be together.
01:48In a place where we belong.
01:49In a place where we belong.
01:52I'm sixteen.
01:54Starting to find my way.
01:55Got a new job.
01:56Gonna start at the mall today.
01:58Thank God.
01:59I'm on my own for the first time.
02:03I'm sixteen.
02:05Life is sweet.
02:06When you're growing up so fast.
02:09You gotta make the good times last.
02:11There's a fourth clone hanging out at the barn now.
02:38And to top it off, the low-slung denim capris just came in.
02:41Yuck.
02:42Ooh, are they dark wash or vintage?
02:45Good morning, princess.
02:49Yo, what's up?
02:51Hey, what's with the bag?
02:53Chocolate-covered jelly beans.
02:55And you guys all have to buy some.
02:57Uh-uh, sounds nasty.
02:59It's team fundraising week.
03:00Whoever raises the most money wins new equipment.
03:03I've already picked out my snowboard.
03:04New equipment, huh?
03:06Fine, I'll take one.
03:11Mmm.
03:11These are disgusting.
03:13What's going on here, punks?
03:16Chocolate-covered jelly beans?
03:18Would you like to buy some to support my snowboarding team?
03:21Do they come in a yellow and red striped box with black writing?
03:25I don't believe it.
03:27Those are the beans I had in my boyhood days.
03:32What's he doing?
03:33Mmm.
03:34Hmm.
03:36I'll take two boxes.
03:38But let's be clear about one thing.
03:40I'm not supporting your little cause.
03:43Uh, okay.
03:44And don't think I don't know what you're up to, maggots.
03:49Hello, Nikki.
04:00Oh, what's up, Yoda?
04:05You're looking ravishing today.
04:07I thought we've been over this.
04:09Give up hope?
04:10A Jedi never does.
04:11But here to see you, I am not.
04:18She likes me.
04:20Can't get enough of the, uh, dark side, if you know what I mean.
04:23That's great, Darth.
04:24Listen, I've got folding to do.
04:25I'll be browsing women's knits.
04:33Hmm.
04:41Darth and Chrissy?
04:43What do we have here?
04:47I told you never to come here.
04:49How else was I supposed to know how to get to your house?
04:52Her house?
04:53Shh.
04:54If anyone ever finds out I'm a member of the Jedi Knight Club, I'll die of embarrassment.
05:00Afraid of your Jedi heritage?
05:02You should not be.
05:05Whoa!
05:07Oops.
05:08Hi.
05:08Uh, I'm just looking for the, uh, the new vintage wash.
05:12Oh, who am I kidding?
05:17Listen to me, Nikki.
05:18If you ever tell anyone about this, you're so fired.
05:22I'm fired.
05:23Okay.
05:23Okay.
05:24Okay.
05:25Mm.
05:25I promise.
05:27Ah!
05:27I can't.
05:29You got it, you crazy.
05:31Stop.
05:32Stop.
05:33Stop.
05:34The Jedi Knight Club?
05:36Chrissy?
05:37I know.
05:38I think this is the best day of my life.
05:40So are you going to send out an email to the whole school or save it for the morning announcements?
05:44Trust me.
05:45I wish I could do both.
05:46But I need this job, so do not say anything.
05:49I mean it, Jonesy.
05:50I understand.
05:52You can't annoy the boss man.
05:53Gotta make the cheese.
05:55The cheddar.
05:56The mozzarella.
05:57Okay, we've got the point.
05:59Which is why, as of today, I'm selling the world's first environmentally friendly plastic
06:04wrap on behalf of our school's senior hockey team.
06:07Nikki, didn't you say you needed a box?
06:09No.
06:10Oh, because I thought I heard Chrissy telling me that you did.
06:14Or was she telling her Jedi friends?
06:18Extortionist.
06:20Wait a minute.
06:21Oh, no you don't.
06:23You cannot be competing for the grand prize.
06:25I'm going to enjoy all that new hockey equipment.
06:28Oh, no you're not.
06:30Because I'm going to win.
06:31That sounds like a bet.
06:33Oh, it's a bet, all right.
06:34I bet that I'll blow you away.
06:37You're on.
06:38Oh, here we go.
06:39I'm here for the jelly beans.
06:48No selling on the job, Masterson.
06:49Except, of course, to me.
06:50These are very good.
06:52Now drop and give me 20.
06:56Big squeeze.
06:5711 o'clock.
06:58Now!
06:58Now!
06:58Ah-ha!
07:07Jelly beans.
07:07And this is where we keep the refund slips and the credit notes.
07:18I so wish we could hire you.
07:20She doesn't do anything around here.
07:23She's got a point.
07:25Yo, Chrissy, want to buy some plastic wrap?
07:27Why would I want to do that?
07:29Because you want to look like this.
07:31Ah, laugh if you want, but cellophane's the new cashmere.
07:40It's sheer, sexy, and doesn't breathe, so you sweat off those extra pounds.
07:44Really?
07:45Yep.
07:45Lindsay Lohanigan wore cellophane to the V81 Fashion Awards.
07:49It's hot.
07:50I'll take two.
07:52I'm going to make a plastic wrap poncho.
07:54Oh, my gosh.
07:55Me, too.
07:57Unbelievable.
08:01It's also great for protecting things of value, like your vintage original issue lightsaber
08:07replica.
08:08A light whatica?
08:10Nothing.
08:11Forget I said anything.
08:12Chrissy is not in Darth Jedi Nightclub.
08:16You're in a Star Wars club?
08:18Nikki!
08:19Jonesy!
08:20Oops.
08:20You promised you'd keep your big mouth shut!
08:23Oh, come on, Chrissy.
08:24It's just Jonesy.
08:25I'll tell you a ton of his embarrassing secrets.
08:27I heard that.
08:28Nikki!
08:29You backstabbing, non-khaki-barn-wearing, pain-in-my-butt jerk!
08:35You're fired!
08:38Ashley, you're hired.
08:42You sold Nikki out for plastic wrap?
08:49It was an accident!
08:50Well, your little accident means I have to find a new job.
08:53Don't worry.
08:54If Jonesy can find a new job each week, so can you.
08:57Hmm.
08:57Okay.
09:00You'll have to wear the taco hat and learn the Wonder Taco anthem, you know.
09:04Feeling hungry?
09:06Have no fear?
09:08Wonder Taco is always near!
09:11Whoa!
09:21Okay, Wong!
09:22Tell me why I should hire you if you can't even return a pansy little lob!
09:25We just got these in pink khakis.
09:32Uh...
09:33Ugh.
09:36Well, I've never actually, you know, done a tattoo before, but I can learn on the job, right?
09:42Dude, check it out!
09:55I was talking to this sweet babe, and she said she thinks you're cute.
10:00Really?
10:01Who is she?
10:01I didn't get her name, but I met her at the food court.
10:04She eats a lot of chicken.
10:06I told her to drop by.
10:07Here she comes now.
10:11Ah!
10:12There's Lydia!
10:13How'd you know her name?
10:14Freaky Lydia!
10:16The one who stalked Jonesy!
10:17Ring a bell!
10:18Hi Jude!
10:19I'm here to see Wyatt!
10:20Um, Wyatt and Jude aren't here right now!
10:24Oh, okay.
10:26Do you know when they'll be back?
10:27Uh...
10:28Hi Wyatt!
10:29I don't want to burst your bubble, honey, but I'm Wayne.
10:32I'm Lydia!
10:33I'm here for our date.
10:35Look, I brought chicken nuggets.
10:37Sweet.
10:40Lydia thought Wayne was you, dude!
10:43I don't know how, but I'm not complaining.
10:46Psst!
10:52Over here!
10:53You got the stuff!
10:54You got the cash?
10:56Give it to me.
10:57Give it to me now.
11:08To what do I owe this pleasure?
11:10I need a job.
11:11You start now!
11:14Here's your uniform!
11:15Drop dead.
11:19Ah!
11:20The power of the force is strong with this one.
11:29Hi Darth!
11:35Oh, this is the end.
11:38No, only the beginning it is.
11:41Huh?
11:45Oh, Darth is way worse than the clones.
11:50What was I thinking?
11:52Oh, I'm less employable than Jonesy.
11:56Come on, guys.
11:57Darth isn't so bad.
11:58Easy for you to say.
11:59He doesn't have a crush on you.
12:01If you don't want Darth crushing on you,
12:03all we need to do is find someone else for him to like.
12:06You know, that's not a bad idea.
12:08And I know just the girl.
12:21What are you doing with our sworn enemy?
12:29A sale's a sale, Jonesy.
12:31And I just unloaded a 12-pack.
12:33Well, you might as well quit now.
12:34I was born to sell.
12:36Besides, I've got much better people skills,
12:38and I'm better looking than you.
12:40Oh, that is it.
12:42It is so on.
12:43Bring it, baby.
12:46Get your chocolate-covered jelly beans here.
12:49Yeah, if you want diarrhea.
12:51Looking for something that's actually useful?
12:53Buy my cellophane wrap.
12:55It's cheap, and it leaks.
12:59Good afternoon, ma'am.
13:00Support our high school snowboard team?
13:02Her candy's made from car wax.
13:06Ladies, have I got a time saver for you?
13:09Environmentally friendly, too.
13:12Yeah.
13:13Observe.
13:14This plastic wrap chokes small children.
13:16Ah!
13:17Oh!
13:19Ah!
13:22Hey!
13:22This is high-quality stuff, people,
13:25made from the very best, uh, stuff around.
13:29Got a sweet tooth?
13:30Get your delicious chocolate-covered jelly beans here.
13:33They make great gifts.
13:34Ah!
13:35Leave me alone, Jonesy.
13:37Then go find another location to sell your crappy candy.
13:40No way.
13:41Mm.
13:42Ah!
13:43Mm.
13:43Ah!
13:44Ah!
13:44And this is where we keep the scientific calculators.
13:55Ah.
13:56Whoa!
13:57Back off, Jedi boy.
13:59I hate to break it to you, but it's never going to happen.
14:02Never?
14:03Never.
14:04Not a one-in-a-million chance?
14:06Let me put it in language that you'll understand.
14:09There's a better chance that Obi-Wan will join the Sith.
14:11Ah, I see.
14:14But I have an even better idea.
14:16Better than you and I making out in the life-size model of the Millennium Falcon?
14:21Ew.
14:22Yes.
14:23Caitlin and I are hooking you up with someone.
14:26Who's the lucky girl?
14:29What are we doing?
14:30I thought you were setting me up with Julie.
14:32We are.
14:33But first, we're giving you a makeover.
14:37I don't know about this.
14:39You want Julie to like you, right?
14:41Yeah, but I think she already...
14:42Just think of it as your transformation.
14:44We all go through one.
14:45It's not like Anakin became the Dark Lord overnight, right?
14:49We're just going to make you a little less...
14:51You.
14:52Who knows?
14:53You might even turn out kind of hot.
14:55Yeah.
14:55And then Julie won't be able to keep her hands off you.
14:59All right.
15:00You may proceed with the hotification process.
15:02Katelyn.
15:16Oh.
15:17Yes!
15:36Yes!
15:36Look at her
15:56She's hogging all the customers
15:59What a corporate social climber
16:01I don't like her anymore
16:02It was your idea to hire her
16:04Was not
16:05Was too
16:06Ah, the clone wars have begun
16:10Here's your earpiece
16:12May the force be with you, Darth
16:15Hi, Darth
16:22You look different
16:24I've got khakis
16:26Leave me alone
16:30I told you, you are not my girlfriend
16:32That doesn't mean we can't still go out
16:35I can't do this anymore
16:38Truce
16:39Truce
16:40Yo, Jelly Bean Girl
16:43I need to make another purchase
16:46I don't take plastic
16:48I'm out of cash
16:49Then you're out of luck, copper
16:51This is an I.O.U.
16:52I'm good for it
16:53You show me the cash
16:55I show you the goods
16:56Get it?
16:57How about you forget the cash
16:59And show me your permit, punk
17:02My permit, eh?
17:04Do I need one?
17:04Yes
17:05Yes, you do
17:06I'm arresting you for solicitation without a permit
17:09Hand over the merchandise
17:11You can't do that
17:13Is there a problem here, officer?
17:15I just want the candy maggots
17:17That will cost you
17:19Hey, come back here with that
17:21You arrest us and I'm dumping it
17:24All of it
17:24No, we can work something out
17:26And no need to do anything rash
17:28I have an idea
17:30You look like a man who could use some cellophane raft
17:33And I take I.O.U.'s
17:36That Lydia is one messed up chick
17:40Hi!
17:42Wyatt!
17:44I had such a great time on our date yesterday
17:47Um, that wasn't me
17:50Dude, now she thinks Wyatt is you
17:54This is for you
17:55I made it in taxidermy class
17:57I got an A
17:58Darth, how's it going?
18:03All I hear are muffly, slobbery sounds
18:05Was it as bad as it sounded?
18:10It was worse than when the Republic failed to defeat the Confederacy
18:13Leading to the destruction of the Jedi Order as it once was
18:17Now if you'll excuse me
18:19I need to be alone
18:21I brought back some of the rubber beds you left in my hair from your braces
18:25Put your cape back on
18:28I love a man in a cape
18:33Come to me, Wyatt Cookie Poo Poo
18:37Chill out, chicken girl
18:41I didn't know you had an identical twin
18:45We're not twins
18:48I'm black and he's white
18:51And you're crazy
18:54Oh my gosh, I'll have to make you another chicken
18:57Wait, um, the Wyatts are allergic to chicken and that guy likes you
19:02Really? He's cute
19:04Okay, bye
19:05Wyatt!
19:07Wait out for me!
19:12So, how'd things go with Julie?
19:15Great!
19:15She likes me for my inner beauty and my skills with the lightsaber
19:19Oh, and BTW, you're fired
19:22Fired?
19:23You can't fire me just because you got a new girlfriend
19:25Okay, then I'll fire you because you stick at your job
19:28I do not
19:29Where are the positronic calculators?
19:32The 3-amp transmitters?
19:35The headphones?
19:36Ah, okay, fair enough
19:38So, where's Julie?
19:48Looking good, baby
19:49Looking good
19:51Oh, only it fired me just one second sooner
19:55I can't believe I got fired
19:58Again
19:58Glad to see I rubbed off on you?
20:01I don't think the clones like the new girl very much
20:03Why don't you just beg for your old job back?
20:06Beg to work at the khaki barn?
20:09Well, it could be worse
20:10No, wait
20:11It really couldn't
20:13Look, Chrissy!
20:18It's Mickey!
20:19Eeeee!
20:21Listen, Chrissy, I...
20:22Do you want your old job back?
20:24Um, please!
20:28Well...
20:29I'd require a 10% raise, of course
20:32And two more breaks per day
20:33You're hired!
20:35Ashley, you're fired
20:36Yay!
20:38Nicky's back!
20:40I thought you hated me
20:41Well, we did
20:42But then having Ashley around made us realize something
20:45She hustled, like, all of our sales
20:47You let us get all the commissions
20:49Yeah, you're, like, so useless at sales
20:52That's why we love you!
20:54Aw, thanks, girls
20:55Rocking the old job
21:02Very nice
21:03Yep
21:04I kind of missed messing up the sweater vests
21:06This is for you!
21:11Just run, dude!
21:13Run!
21:14Got any more of those jelly beans?
21:16Uh-uh
21:16You got rid of them all?
21:18And all my plastic wrap?
21:20We're gonna split the prize
21:21Where'd you put it all?
21:22Oh, my God.
21:24Oh, my God.
21:52Oh, my God.
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